Quiet Voice
by LilweenGalatrass
Summary: Shy, socially-awkward Akiyama Kiku never was noticed by anyone. She didn't speak up and the gods forbid ever making eye-contact with anyone. So, she couldn't understand why Oikawa Tooru suddenly decided that she was the perfect match for his best friend. Iwaizumi Hajime would never admit outloud how grateful he really was to his friend. Iwaizumi x OC
1. Prologue

_I wasn't planning on posting this fanfic so soon, but it had been requested on my other fanfic (Sowlmates) so, I'm posting it! :)_

 _I'm warning you: my top priority still is Sowlmate/Bokuto so for Quiet Voice (and the title might change, it took me a week to find something half-satisfying) I will not post as often and regularly as Sowlmates. Plus, it'll be shorter. I'll post a chcapter whenever I write one so, it'll really depend of my states of 1) inspiration 2) exhaustion._

 _Now, enjoy~_

 _(And I pray for the characters to be IC...)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : Quiet Voice

CHAPTER I : Prologue

" _Just because you don't say much doesn't mean people don't notice you. It's actually the quiet ones who often draw the most attention. There's this constant whirlwind of motion and sound all around, and then there's the quiet one, the eye of the storm."_

― **Amy Efaw, After**

" _When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time."_

― **Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak**

The loud voices of the third-years were resonating in Aoba Jousai High-school's halls as friends found each other after holiday. People would call out each other and laugh. They would talk about their holidays, about their clubs, about this new school-year.

"Yoohoo~! Iwa-chan~!"

Iwaizumi Hajime stopped and turned around, ignoring the squeals, screams and sighs that escaped the girls around him just as his childhood best friend caught up with him.

"Why didn't you wait for me at the entrance, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa Tooru whined as he reached him, pouting childishly.

"It's Oikawa-san~!" A girl squealed.

"Kyyaaa, he's so handsome~!"

"I have missed him so much~!"

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and gave a quick nod towards the group of girls who screamed when Oikawa waved and smiled at them.

"I didn't wait because of _that_." He answered with his usual tough voice.

Ignoring the complain and annoyance from his friend, Oikawa continued:

"I'm in class six this year, what about you?" He asked.

"Class five."

"Aaaw, we're not in the same class! That's too bad! Mattsun and Makki aren't in our classes either… it'll be lonely…"

"I doubt _you_ could be lonely with all of your fans," Iwaizumi answered, slightly rolling his eyes.

"Won't you miss me, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked with a fake saddened gaze.

"Nope."

"Mean!" He exclaimed immediately.

Iwaizumi couldn't help it, the corners of his lips quirked up lightly. He could have almost missed his friend's antics. _Almost_. As quickly as it had appeared, this almost smile disappeared.

"I'm going ahead. See you tonight at practice!" Iwaizumi said with a quick wave of his hand, his other hand in his pocket.

"Aye, aye~" Oikawa answered.

Iwaizumi turned around but hit something. He looked down and saw a girl he had just bumped into, now sitting on the floor after hitting the powerful Ace.

"Ah, sorry," he said.

She looked up at him and instantly hissed and paled, her entire body freezing in terror. Surprised by her reaction, Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow but she looked away.

"You're ok?" He asked.

He was about to lean down to help her up when she suddenly stood up on her feet, holding tightly her bag.

"I-I… I am… f-fine…" She said in a whisper, blushing before walking away.

Iwaizumi watched her leave with his eyebrow still raised.

"My, Iwa-chan… You really have to stop frowning – you're making girls so scared they run away!" Oikawa – who had assisted to the whole exchange – said from over his shoulder.

Iwaizumi frowned and glared at his friend, making Seijou's setter gulp down and take a step back.

"Eh? What you said? You want me to punch you that's it?" Iwaizumi started angrily.

"S-sorry, Iwa-chan! I'm sorry, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

"Tch."

Iwaizumi decided to not let himself be pissed off by his annoying Captain so early in the day and walked away. He joined his classroom and went at his favorite seat – the back of the class. Unfortunately, the one next to the window was already taken by a girl so he let his bag fall on the desk next to it. Recognizing a few people from other clubs and last year, Iwaizumi walked to them and talked until the beginning of class.

He went to sit next to the girl but when she didn't speak up and kept her head turned away from him, he shrugged it off and turned towards his other seatmate who was in the soccer club.

The first day of school, as boring as it was, went awfully slow. Iwaizumi was impatient to practice. He wanted to play volleyball – he hadn't played with his team in so long. But of course, their last teacher of the day decided that keeping them as long as possible was the _best_ thing to do. Hajime was about to hit his head against his desk when the teacher kept going on and on about the importance of their last year when finally, he freed his students. Almost at once, Iwaizumi heard squeals and screams coming from the girls.

"Yoohoo~ Iwa-chan~! I came to pick you up because you were taking too long!" Oikawa exclaimed as he waltzed over to his friend.

Iwaizumi got up just as Oikawa waved and smiled at the overjoyed girls. Hajime got up and threw his bag over his shoulder but stiffened when he heard a sound it wasn't supposed to make, followed by a heavy sound of someone falling. He glanced over his shoulder and saw the same girl from this morning – who had been the one sitting next to him all day apparently – who had just fallen back into her seat after being hit by his bag as she had stood up in the same time he had swung it.

"Ah, sorry… erh… what's your name already?" Iwaizumi said.

The girl blushed and looked away, fiddling with her fingers. Oikawa threw a curious glance and smiled.

"Ah! It's the same girl as this morning! Iwa-chan, I had no idea you were the type of guy to constantly _hit on girls~"_ He teased, chuckling at his own joke.

Iwaizumi threw him an annoyed look then shook his head, already exasperated by his antics.

"Stop talking nonsense and get moving already, Trashykawa! We're gonna be late!" He exclaimed, slapping the back of Oikawa's head.

"AIE! It hurt, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa screamed, but following him anyway.

Iwaizumi glanced over his shoulder at the brown-haired girl he had bumped into twice already. She had grabbed her bag, holding it against her as if it was a shield. He wondered if he should say something like _"see you tomorrow"_ \- they were seatmates after all. But when she didn't look once in his direction, he just shrugged it off and continued behind an excited Oikawa.

"This girl… she reminds me of someone…" Oikawa muttered to himself, deeply thinking.

"Eh? The girl from my class? Must be one of your fan or something."

"Mmmm… I don't think so… But I had never noticed her before. Is she newly transferred?" Tooru asked curiously.

"Eeeh… I don't think so?" Hajime answered with a shrug but he had to admit that until now he had never noticed her – and even when she was standing right next to him, he didn't notice her, even if it wasn't his intention.

The next day was similar. The girl didn't seem to acknowledge him and so, Iwaizumi didn't as well. The only thing he could see was her shoulder-length, brown hair because she kept turning her head away from everyone. At the end of the day, he got up and started swinging his bag over his shoulder but stopped mid-way, glancing over his shoulder.

As he had expected, the girl had just stood and had avoided being hit by his bag (again) thanks to him stopping his move. She glanced up at Iwaizumi, looking shocked by the fact he had purposefully made sure not to hit her with his bag.

"See you tomorrow," Hajime said as he turned around and left the classroom with his bag over his shoulder.

He'd have to make sure he wouldn't hit her another time with his bag.


	2. Reach Out

_As usual, prologue and first chapter..._

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : Quiet Voice

CHAPTER II : Reach Out

" _Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity."_

— **Simone Weil**

" _Loneliness leads to nothing good, only detachment. And sometimes the people who most need to reach out are the people least capable of it."_

― **Jane Espenson**

Iwaizumi Hajime sat first at his desk and a few minutes later, the usual girl arrived. She didn't even glance at him, probably not noticing him.

"Good morning."

The girl stiffened and glanced hesitantly at her right. When she noticed that Hajime was staring at her and had just _talked_ to her, she startled and looked away. Once again, he only saw her brown hair. Did she have a problem with him? Was she annoyed because he had hit her twice on the first day?

Hesitantly, she glanced back at him then around.

"M… m-me?" She hesitated in a very quiet voice.

"There isn't anyone else around, is there? So, good morning." Hajime repeated.

She flushed in embarrassment and opened her lips to speak but somehow, no sound came out at first.

"G-g-good… m-mor… ning…" She said slowly, not daring to make eye-contact with him.

Hajime raised an eyebrow. It had been the longest 'good morning' he had ever heard in his whole life.

"By the way, my name's Iwaizumi Hajime. What's yours?" He asked, wanting to get rid of the thought that he had no idea who she was.

She fiddled with her fingers as she answered – or rather, stumbled over her own words.

"M-my n-name is… is A-Akiya…"

Exasperated by the time she was taking to just pronounce a few words, Iwaizumi suddenly got up and leaned over her desk. She startled at his sudden move but he ignored it as he read her name on her notebook.

"Akiyama Kiku." He read.

She nodded hesitantly and he sat back with his cheek against his hand. When he didn't speak up again, Akiyama Kiku quickly sat down, looking terribly relieved that the conversation was over.

More students came in and class started soon.

 _At practice…_

Iwaizumi was changing clothes along with the other third-years and most team members. They were talking about the new boys who would join among the first-years then, the conversation switched to the first-years girls who had caught their eyes.

"Some first-years told me today that they joined Aoba Josai because I was in it~" Oikawa said with a smile.

"Why am I not surprised?" Iwaizumi grunted, frowning lightly, "By the way – the girl from my class you said she looked familiar, her name's Akiyama Kiku – rings any bell?"

"Akiyama Kiku?" He repeated thoughtfully, "Nope, it doesn't ring any bell. Then why do I feel like I've seen her before?"

"She must be one of your fangirls… And if she's in Seijou, it means we must have walked past her a few times. Even if she's completely invisible." Hajime said with a shrug.

"Mmm… Probably!"

Aoba Jousai's volleyball team then went to the gymnasium, welcoming the new members of the team.

"Ah! There are familiar faces!" Oikawa exclaimed cheerfully, walking towards the group of shy first-years.

Coach Irihata, Iwaizumi and most of the regulars were right behind Oikawa as the new members bowed respectfully towards the team of Aoba Jousai.

"Welcome to you all to Aoba Jousai's volleyball team," Irihata started with a smile, "I look forward to working with you all for the next few years. I am the Head Coach Irihata Nobuteru, and this is Mizoguchi Sudayuki. You probably already know most of the regulars but I will let you discover the team members in a short moment. I will simply introduce to you the team's Captain, Oikawa Tooru."

Oikawa smiled at the boys, most of them staring at him in awe. Being part of Aoba Jousai's volleyball team along with _Oikawa Tooru_ was an honor for most of them.

"I look forward to this year with you all~!" He said, bowing lightly.

"We are looking forward to this year!" They all exclaimed and bowed.

"Now, let's start the introductions of the first years with–" Mizoguchi started.

"Ah, Coach? Coach?" Oikawa called, waltzing towards the two coaches with his hands joined together in a prayer gesture.

Both Irihata and Mizoguchi sighed, already tired of the eccentric Captain – they wondered if it had been a good idea to let him become Captain after all…

"What is it, Oikawa?" Irihata asked.

"Many of them are from Kitagawa Daiichi, can I try remembering their names please? For team bonding!" Oikawa asked with a pleading look.

"It can't hurt, go ahead. When you're done, I'll let you handle the warm-up before practice." Irihata said with a nod, standing a little away to let his team do what they wanted.

The ones who had been to Kitagawa Daiichi were standing together because they already knew each other well so it wasn't hard to notice them right away. Hanamaki and Matsukawa leaned against each other, grinning at seeing their Captain struggling to trigger his memory. Iwaizumi was standing not far from Oikawa, silently playing the same little game.

"You are… you are…" Oikawa started, staring at one of the boy with a spike head, "You were the Ace last year in Kitagawa Daiichi. You are…! Ngnn!" He continued, closing his eyes intensely.

"Kindaichi… is it?" Iwaizumi intervened, arms crossed and staring at the boy who flushed in pride.

"Yes! Kindaichi Yuutarou!" He exclaimed enthusiastically, proud to be remembered by the senpai he has admired for years.

"Iwa-chan! No fair! I was just about to guess!" Oikawa whined.

"Stop complaining and remember your teammates' names." He replied.

"That's exactly what I'm doing! Trying… to do…" He added before turning back towards the one standing next to Kindaichi.

He seemed to be already bored and didn't seem like he enjoyed much but Oikawa did remember this boy who stood out by his lack of enthusiasm.

"And you! You are… Kuni… Kuni… mu?"

"Mi." He simply corrected.

"Kumimu?" Oikawa asked, tilting his head on a side and frowning lightly.

"Kunimi. Kunimi Akira." He said.

"Argh! I was so close!" Oikawa exclaimed before turning towards another boy.

Once all the first-years were introduced, the senpai took turns giving their own names and soon enough, they were warming-up, following Oikawa's instructions (with the help of Iwaizumi) with the two coaches talking aside about their new additions to the team and keeping an eye from afar at how they were doing.

The first practice of the year with the new members went smoothly and was very promising – Oikawa kept repeating it and for once, his third-years comrades couldn't really deny it.

The next day, Iwaizumi blinked when he noticed Akiyama Kiku already sitting at her desk.

"Good morning," he said.

She ignored him. At first he was confused and slightly annoyed because he had been clear enough and his voice would not have _not_ reached her. Then, he noticed a slightly buzzing sound and realized she was listening to music and hadn't heard him so he didn't insist.

After this lame attempt of saying good morning to Akiyama Kiku, Iwaizumi always checked to see if there was her headphone slipping from her hair. Every morning, it'd be here, closing her from the world. At first, he thought that she really disliked people, but then he realized that when she glanced around at group of friends, she had something close to envy and loneliness in her eyes. Then, Hajime thought that if she felt so lonely, she just had to be more open to people. But turned out that she wasn't the one who wasn't reaching out to people – people just ignored her. She tried several times speaking up to some people for a reason or another but they either didn't acknowledge her or simply glanced at the girl then went back to their discussion.

She seemed to be invisible to everyone.

And as annoying as it felt, Iwaizumi had to acknowledge that Akiyama had been invisible to him for a long moment – he didn't even know she was in their school after three years, he had hit her twice without noticing her. Most times, she was so discreet he didn't even see her approaching. There'd be times he'd glance around and her desk would be empty and he wouldn't see her even if she was in the classroom. Other times, he didn't realize she was back at her desk until he'd almost have a heart attack every time she'd suddenly appear out of nowhere. He would never admit it outloud to anyone, and especially not Oikawa, that he was getting _freaked out_ by the appearance and disappearance of _one tiny girl._

Iwaizumi Hajime wasn't quite sure when it happened but he started observing her. Perhaps it was because he disliked freaking out by her appearing and disappearing. Perhaps he didn't want to follow what others did – he didn't want to ignore her and he didn't want her invisible to him. Perhaps noticing she was invisible meant he had _already_ been observing her. But by observing her so closely, he started noticing things about Akiyama Kiku:

1\. She didn't have any friend to his knowledge and was always alone.

2\. She wouldn't speak up unless she was talked to directly and most times, people avoided her so the only person asking her to talk would be a teacher for an answer in class. Sometimes, days went by without Hajime hearing her quiet voice at all.

3\. Even if she didn't talk, she was never silent. There was always something to hear around her: the music from her headphones, the way she played with her pens or whatever would be under her hands, the constant (and slightly annoying) muttering in class. Her lips moved to read in an almost nonexistent voice everything she was writing. No one heard but the two people closest to her: Iwaizumi and the guy in front of her but the later didn't seem to mind much.

4\. She was incredibly shy but always helped out without discussing if someone asked her. Her obedience was almost embarrassing to Hajime.

5\. Every day, except Tuesdays, she stood up and went off directly after class. Hajime was pretty sure she was participating in a club but he didn't know which one. He just knew she must really love whatever this was because she always had the corners of her lips tilting up excitedly and almost had a happy hopping in her steps. He always watched her leave happily, trying not to hop and look awkward even if she failed in holding back her hopping steps.

Today was one of these rare days when Kiku didn't have her headphones in. Surprised by it, Hajime sat at his desk before speaking up:

"Good morning."

Just like the very first time he had talked to her, she glanced around nervously, wondering whether or not _she_ was the one he talked to. Upon realizing that it couldn't be anyone else but her from the way he kept staring at her, she opened her lips.

"G-goo–"

"Everyone, sit!" The teacher exclaimed when he entered the room.

It had made Akiyama startled and she quickly looked away from Iwaizumi, opening her notebook. She looked disappointed she hadn't managed to wish him a good morning and even if he stared at her for a moment, he didn't say anything.

After a few minutes in the lesson, Iwaizumi wasn't thinking about it anymore when a little folded paper appeared at the corner of his desk. He blinked and glanced at Akiyama who, despite avoiding his gaze and blushing madly, tapped very lightly the surface of the desk, as if saying _'it's for you'._

Iwaizumi glanced quickly at the teacher to make sure he wasn't looking in his direction while Akiyama tried to appear nonchalant and innocent – but her embarrassed flushed cheeks were too suspicious for that. The young man grabbed the paper and his eyes widened, surprised by the little message written in a neat and cute handwriting.

 _Good morning_

The corner of his lips tilted up lightly, incredulous at the message the shyest girl he had ever met had given him. It was so simple and so silly…

"Iwaizumi-kun!"

"Y-yes!" He exclaimed, getting up suddenly.

"I said to the board to answer the question," the math teacher said, pointing at the board.

"Yes, sir…" He continued, going all the way to the board.

When he was done and came back to his seat, he glanced at Akiyama but she was busy writing what was on the board on her notebook. Her eyes met his but almost instantly, she looked away, flushing.

The little message would have been quickly forgotten but Hajime hid the little paper in his pencil case. He tried to find out why she'd take the risk to be caught by the teacher by giving him a folded paper – she wasn't the kind to do anything that could be reproached to her and she had looked as if about to pass out from the stress and embarrassment. Then, Hajime recalled that she had tried answering to him 'good morning' when the teacher had entered the classroom, ruining her effort. She had wanted that badly to say 'good morning'?

Eyes dropping from the lack of sleep, Hajime put his head in his arms out of exhaustion. Today had been a particularly rough practice and the math right away in the morning had taken out all possible energy he had had left. He wanted to sleep, just a few minutes, until the end of class. The teacher's voice faded away easily. But there was this constant, annoying sound that kept resonating right next to him.

He opened his sleepy, annoyed eyes and stared at Akiyama, too tired to actually glare at her. She was muttering again. Her lips were moving rapidly, she was frowning in concentration while Hajime's eyes were dropping. But his mind couldn't go to sleep because of this damn muttering.

"Stop muttering… I'm trying to nap here…" He whispered just loud enough for Akiyama to hear.

No one reacted to his voice but Akiyama. She stopped muttering, glanced at him then focused once again on writing her notes. Iwaizumi waited but he didn't hear any muttering from the girl.

His eyes closed at last, and the only thing he could think of before actually sleeping was of the little message folded in his pencil case and the silence next to him.

6\. She's kind…

Hajime woke up in a startle when the clock rang the end of morning class. He saw a book that had been in front of his sleeping form falling off his desk and he tried to catch it but he didn't move in time because of his sleepy mind. The smothered sound of its fall reached his ears. He grunted and rubbed his hands over his eyes then glanced at his left but Akiyama was gone.

"Slept well?" Kobayashi, his seatmate on the right, asked.

"How long did I sleep?"

"The last half hour of class – you had been dozing off for a while so I wasn't surprised."

Iwaizumi leaned down to get his book back on the desk. He didn't remember putting the book standing to hide him from the teacher's eyes.

"Who put my book there?" He asked curiously, half-expecting Akiyama to be the one.

"I did," Kobayashi answered as he took out his bento.

Still a little sleepy, Iwaizumi glanced forward and despite about half the class already gone to buy lunch or eat somewhere else, one person seemed to stand out. The only person who was all alone and quiet right now.

Akiyama Kiku was desperately trying to erase the board, jumping up to try and reach the upper part of the board but she was too small to be any effective. She stopped and turned around, watching the people but if they had noticed her struggle, they didn't make any move to help her out. She turned back towards the board, staring at it as if it'd make it go lower for her.

Iwaizumi glanced at the side of the board and saw that the class responsibles of the day were Akiyama and Kobayashi.

"You're not going to help her out?" Iwaizumi asked his classmate.

"Mhm?" He asked, munching on his bento.

Kobayashi followed Iwaizumi's gaze then noticed Akiyama. Then, he scrunched up his nose lightly, swallowing in the same time before scooping up more food with his chopsticks.

"If she needs help she can just ask. And I'm SO hungry!"

 _Don't you think she might be hungry too, you dumbass?_ Hajime thought to himself.

Sighing to himself, he stood up then moved towards the board where Akiyama was still struggling. She seemed to hear him just as he approached but before she could do anything, he grabbed the sponge she was using and erased the last kanji at the highest part of the board. Kiku stared up at him in disbelief but before she could say anything – she'd have to muster the courage to do so anyway – he spoke up:

"Asking for help won't hurt, you know." He simply said.

There was a short moment of silence when she opened and closed her lips to speak:

"T-thank you…" She whispered in a voice so low, Hajime barely heard.

"Whatever. There'd better be something left for me to buy at the cafeteria…" He mumbled, giving her the sponge back and turning around.

He put his hands in his pockets, unaware of the girl staring at his back in disbelief.

 _After school…_

Oikawa and Iwaizumi were walking towards the changing-room and gymnasium, talking lightly.

"That's why I disliked this movie! The main actress was down right terrible!" Oikawa declared vehemently.

"I liked the Huntsman, he was cool." Iwaizumi answered with a little shrug.

"I knew you'd say that – but this girl, Snow-White… They only chose this actress because she was a little bit famous! I really don't see what all the fuss is about! _I_ would be a better Snow-White!"

"As annoying as it may be to admit, you're right…"

"Even _you_ would be a better Snow-White, Iwa-chan!"

"You're going too far and I'm about to punch you for saying that," he replied with a roll of his eyes.

Oikawa chuckled at the image of his friend with Snow-White's outfit but Iwaizumi ignored him, glancing at Akiyama as she walked past them. Oikawa didn't seem to notice the girl but he _did_ notice his friend looking over his shoulder to look at whatever had picked his interest. When he recognized Iwa-chan's classmate, his eyes widened slightly and his lips formed a silent 'o'.

"Is she meeting one of her friend?" Oikawa asked with a smile as they saw Akiyama joining another girl at the entrance.

"Who knows?" Iwaizumi said with a shrug.

Oikawa glanced between Iwaizumi then back at Akiyama, a very satisfied smile appearing on his face. Then, Tooru blinked when he recognized the girl Akiyama was talking to.

"I know her. She's the Captain of another school's girl team. Sato Yuuna. I had no idea they were friends…"

"You had no idea Akiyama Kiku existed before last week…" Iwaizumi replied with a slightly annoyed gaze.

Oikawa stared carefully at the two girls as Sato patted Akiyama on the head, looking terribly proud of her. He glanced back at Iwaizumi who, once he was sure Akiyama was into safe hands, turned to continue walking.

"Let's go, Oikawa or we're gonna be late…"

"Now… That's an interesting turn of events…" He murmured to himself thoughtfully.

"What did you say?"

"Wait for me, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa screamed, running after his friend.

"Then stop slacking off!" Iwaizumi screamed back.

Still, Hajime couldn't stop thinking about Kiku joining her friend at the school entrance. So she _could_ make friends. The fact that she had really wanted to answer to his 'good morning' even if it was on a piece of paper proved that she wasn't quite as closed off as she seemed to be. Perhaps she just needed someone to reach out to her.

* * *

 _Despite his angry behavior, Iwaizumi is probably a A+ knight in armor. In my mind he is._

 _Akiyama means "Autumn Mountain" and "Kiku" means "chrysanthemum" (I chose Kiku because it sounded so damn cute~)_

 _I don't really have much to say except that I am praying for Iwa-chan and Oikawa being IC? And Kiku not being too annoying?_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	3. Curiosity

_Thank you to everyone who favorited and followed! I didn't expect so many reactions so soon! :D_

 _ **PaintCat** : I hope you'll like this chapter as well! ^^ There will be a lot of 'observing' in this fanfic - from Oikawa, from Iwaizumi, from Kiku..._

 _ **CocoaFirefly** : Kiku IS doing some sports, but not volleyball - none of my OC do volleyball because it's too cliché. But it doesn't mean she doesn't know about volleyball either or never played! ;) Aaaah, thank you so, so much for these compliments, it made me very happy! :D_

 _ **Riomi-senpai** : Ahah, I hope it will remain interesting throughou the entire story! ^^_

 _ **Millaby** : Je suis contente que le début te plalise, en espérant que ce sera le cas pour la suite également! ;) Cette fanfic là ira beaucoup plus vite que Sowlmate vu qu'ils ne vont pas tourner autour du pot pendant presque un an. Ce sera un rythme d'évolution de relation 'normal' sans trop de drame et angst. Just du fluff~_

 _ **Lomisstra** : Déesse, plutôt! ;) MERCI TELLEMENT POUR DIRE CA! Pas de nouveau chapitre pour Sowlmate avant ton concours, mas j'espère que celui-là sera satisfaisant? ^^" Pour l'instant, on ne voit pas beaucoup de Kiku mais dès qu'il y aura un peu de réelles interactions avec Iwa-chan, on aura une meilleure idée de sa personnalité! ;)_

 _ **santosedanicaa** : Iwa-chan will only get cuter and cuter~_

 _ **Lili** : I hope you'll like the third chapter and all the ones that will follow! :)_

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FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET WORDS

CHAPTER III : Curiosity

" _Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last."_

― **Samuel Johnson, Works of Samuel Johnson**

" _The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing."_

― **Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism, and Selected Critical Prose**

"Eh? Karasuno?" Hanamaki repeated.

"Never heard of it…" Matsukawa said.

Coach Irihata and Mizoguchi were looking at the Aoba Johsai's team after announcing that there would be a practice match against Karasuno High-school next week.

"Oikawa asked for this practice match," Irihata said, "It's where Kageyama Tobio went and I am curious about him as well. It'll be interesting and a good practice match."

"It's soon for a practice match. We're still at the very beginning of the year." Iwaizumi intervened.

"True, which will be a good occasion to see what sort of players our own first-years are. Be sure not to overwork yourselves, understood everyone?" Irihata continued, giving a pointed look at Oikawa who pretended not to have seen anything.

"Ooosss!"

The practice went as usual but this time, they mostly trained among the regulars for the practice match to come soon. The new members still had to get used to Aoba Johsai's team rhythm after all. Most of the team went away right after the end of practice but as usual, Oikawa and Iwaizumi remained behind for more practice.

Hajime practiced his serve a few times but glanced at his friend when he noticed that there wasn't any killer serve hitting the court on the other side. Oikawa had his forehead pressed against the volley ball, an incredible focused look on his face.

"Oi, what are you doing?" He asked, not knowing why Tooru, no matter as eccentric as he was, would be praying a volleyball god instead of actually practicing.

"Thinking," Oikawa answered calmly without opening his eyes.

Iwaizumi didn't answer, staring at him for a long moment.

"I will finally have a chance to beat Tobio-chan – even if it's only a practice match, I'll prove which one of us is the best setter." Oikawa continued with a determined smile, lowering the ball to get ready to serve.

"How is your knee by the way? You're practicing hard since the beginning of school but a few weeks ago you were still weak." Iwaizumi continued, glancing at the white knee supporter.

Oikawa turned to him with a smile.

"Iwa-chan, could it be that you are worried for me~?" He asked.

"Nope, I just don't want to hear your constant whining if you get hurt and can't beat Kageyama." Iwaizumi answered calmly, having expected such a reaction from his friend – Oikawa always tried to avoid the topic when it came to his knee or his body exhaustion from over practicing.

"That's mean, Iwa-chan! As Vice-Captain and best friend you should worry and be willing to help me go through such difficult and dark times with me!" Oikawa exclaimed, feigning to be hurt.

"Ask your girlfriend for that. Don't you have a new one?" Iwaizumi continued.

"Tch. You're not funny…"

"And you're avoiding the initial question. How is your knee?" He asked again, staring at Oikawa with crossed arms to make him understand he wouldn't buy another foolish answer.

For once, Oikawa didn't joke. Still holding his ball, he looked at the court before answering quietly:

"It's all right for now. Don't worry, Iwa-chan, I won't push myself… After all, I've promised to Ayaka-chan I wouldn't injure myself further and would take care of my knee."

"Mm… If you say so, I'll believe you… I have to go on ahead tonight, I'm leaving the changing-room's key in your locker – don't stay here too long, and don't strain on your knee, Trashykawa!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, starting to walk towards the exit.

"Aye, aye~" Oikawa answered cheerfully.

When Hajime exited the gymnasium, he heard his friend's powerful serve hitting the floor. And as surprising as it was, despite most students gone for a while now, he heard another, unexpected sound.

 _Tink, tink, tink_

Hajime looked around but he didn't see any bicycle going by even if he knew he had just heard one. He glanced over at the entrance and saw a girl riding a bicycle, disappearing quickly. She had shoulder-length brown hair but he had been unable to see who it might be.

 _The next day, at lunch, 3_ _rd_ _year class 5…_

"EH?! What do you mean you got hurt?!" Iwaizumi shouted, standing so suddenly his chair fell backwards.

Everyone turned towards him suddenly while Oikawa startled guiltily, standing in front of him. Hajime was aware that Akiyama made such a jump on her seat she dropped her chopsticks and almost fell over. But right now, the Ace was way too angry to think about the girl. He reached out from over his desk and grabbed Oikawa's front jacket, shaking him all the while shouting in rage:

"Didn't I say to be careful?! Why would you go and hurt yourself, you dumbass?! You're such a dumbass, trashykawa! _I promised I'd care_ – MY ASS! You went overboard as per fucking usual! Dumbass! Shittykawa!"

"Iwa-chaaan! I get it, I get it!" Oikawa shouted, holding his friend's wrists to try and get him to let go.

Iwaizumi shook him a bit more for good measure then let go, almost pushing him away.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Iwaizumi continued, still furious Oikawa had had the nerve to get hurt _again_ from over practicing a week before a practice match against Kageyama's school.

He was so damn sure he'd hear Trashykawa's whining soon Hajime wanted to shake him and throw him out of the window already.

Trying to calm down as to not create more of a ruckus in class, Iwaizumi crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at his stupid ass of Captain.

Oikawa often felt scared around Iwa-chan – especially an angry Iwa-chan. But it was rare he actually felt his _life_ threatened.

"I'm sorry, Iwa-chan…" He said apologetically, trying a smile even if he knew it wouldn't work.

"TCH! You piss me off, Assikawa! How did you get hurt this time?! Over practicing your serves?!" Iwaizumi hissed – the argument was now being ignored by most of his classmates even if the girls kept glancing worriedly at their _oh-so-precious Oikawa Tooru~_

"I know it's foolish to ask this of you with your anger issues–"

"My only anger-issue is you!"

"–But don't yell! I didn't even practice that much! I only slipped in the bathroom after my shower! I didn't fall but just catching myself hurt my knee!" Oikawa quickly explained.

"That stupid-ass reason makes me wanna punch you even more!" Iwaizumi continued berating.

"Don't punch me, Iwa-chan! I'm injured, remember?!"

"Not injured enough to my taste!"

"Iwa-chaaaan!"

"Stop crying!"

Hajime was actually lifting up his fist when he heard a frightened squeal. At first he thought it came from Oikawa but the sound didn't come from the right direction. He glanced down at his left and saw Akiyama Kiku, hands in front of her face. She had just stood up, trying to walk past Iwaizumi when he had moved a little too suddenly for her easily-scared nerves.

"Sorry, Akiyama…" He said, lowering his fist.

"Why do you apologize to her and not me?! You threatened to kill me, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa overreacted again.

Akiyama didn't look in Iwaizumi's direction and quickly ran behind him to hurry out of the classroom. He followed her with his gaze, feeling a tiny bit guilty about scaring her…

She was _very_ easily scared.

Hearing nothing but silence from Oikawa – which was terribly strange – Iwaizumi looked back at him and instantly felt pissed off. Not only Tooru wasn't talking, but he was also staring intensely at Hajime with a weird smile on his face – Hajime didn't like the smile, it was the "Oikawa's bad ideas' smile".

"The hell you're staring at?" He growled, frowning at Oikawa who instantly startled.

"That was Akiyama Kiku-chan, wasn't it?" He asked quickly.

Hajime blinked in disbelief. He felt like punching Tooru for changing topic. He decided otherwise – if he was following his instinct of punching him every time he said or did stupid something, imbecile or annoying, Iwaizumi wouldn't have any fists anymore.

He still felt his fists trembling to hit on his friend's stupid-looking smile, though.

"Your point, Trashykawa?" Iwaizumi growled.

"N-nothing!" He hissed, startling, glancing at the door before speaking up again quickly, "Ah, by the way, Iwa-chan – considering I probably won't be able to participate to the practice match next week, I count on you to reduce Tobio-chan to pieces – also, I'll leave the team to you, you'll be Captain until I'm back on my feet! Have a good day!" Oikawa exclaimed before swiftly making for the door.

He would have run if he hadn't been trying to be so careful on his knee.

"OI! Trashykawa, don't leave like that!" Iwaizumi shouted.

He tried running after Oikawa who avoided him swiftly by turning on himself and escaping the door. What Iwaizumi had not noticed with Tooru doing his weird spinning was that there was _someone else_ behind him. Hajime tried to stop but taken forward by his momentum, he hit the person who fell hard on the floor while Shittykawa went off without even glancing behind.

"That shit he walked away at this time on purpose!" Iwaizumi hissed, leaning down, "I'm sorry, are you all right?"

Akiyama Kiku glanced up at him, eyes filled with unshed tears while everyone started whispering in the class.

 _Crap, she's crying!_ Hajime thought, starting to sweat nervously because there was nothing more frightening than _a girl in tears in front of him_.

"Uuh… You're… uh… ok? Akiyama-san?" He called, offering his hand.

But when he did so, she jumped away from him and quickly looked away.

Hajime felt his heart sinking, his entire body stiffening guiltily when he realized that, _once again_ , he had hit her and that _once again_ , he had scared her. Perhaps Trashykawa might be _a little_ right about him: he had to do something about his anger-issues.

Kiku stood up slowly and he straightened as well, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Eh… uh… sorry about that?" He repeated.

Kiku glanced up at him from behind her hair that was falling to hide most of her face. Even for the shortest of time, she observed him so sharply Hajime felt his heart miss a beat – was it worry he felt? Was it fear? Was it incredulity that for just this _one second,_ this _one gaze_ , Akiyama Kiku – shyest girl to be – had looked at him as if she was looking right into his soul?

As quickly as this light had appeared in her dark eyes, it disappeared. She gave a quick nod before walking past him, back to her desk.

Hajime looked over his shoulder at the girl, still a little astonished by the strength he had seen in her eyes. It reminded him of how Oikawa often looked at teammates or opponents when he was analyzing all of their moves, registering their habits in order to understand them to the deepest part of their souls.

She was observant.

Her eyes were dark blue like the night…

 _The next day, for morning practice…_

Despite his injury, Oikawa had decided to come to see what the others were doing – observing was always a good thing as a setter and teammate. Plus he could notice things or habits that he wouldn't while playing. Iwaizumi was at his sides, yawning from the lack of sleep while the setter kept talking on and on about this and that. He didn't really need Hajime to talk – Tooru could make a conversation on his own.

"Oi! Iwaizumi! Oikawa!"

They both stopped and turned around when they heard Hanamaki calling for them. The wing-spiker was waving at them without hurrying to catch up. What surprised Iwaizumi though was to see Akiyama Kiku at his side – and they were _talking_ , glancing at each other every once in a while. He was pretty sure it was the first time he was seeing Akiyama _talking_ with _someone_.

"Ooh, Makki is with Kiku-chan!" Oikawa noticed with a smile and slight tilt of his head as he waved back.

"Why the hell is he with her?" Iwaizumi grumbled.

His friend glanced at him when he heard his tone but didn't comment on it, only kept his usual smile.

Once Hanamaki and Akiyama reached the entrance, they said goodbye and went their separated ways. The girl glanced shyly at Iwaizumi who was standing a few meters away from the two. She seemed hesitant before giving a short nod and quickly walking away. Hajime nodded in return even though she probably didn't see.

"Ooss," Takahiro saluted.

"Hey, Makki! Did you spend a good night?" Oikawa asked as the three walked towards the changing-room.

Confused, he raised an eyebrow while Hajime glared at his best friend.

"Uh? Not bad, why?" He answered with a shrug.

"Mm mm! Nothing, I was just curious~!"

They reached the changing-room where Matsukawa was already waiting. Iwaizumi opened the door and the third-years all entered, Oikawa taking a seat on a side while the others were changing. Not long after, second and first years started coming.

"By the way, Hanamaki," Iwaizumi spoke up, "Do you have a girlfriend?" He asked, glancing quickly at his friend.

"Not at the moment, why?"

"Noth–"

"Iwa-chan, are you jealous~?" Oikawa asked when he heard all that.

"What are you talking about?" Hanamaki asked while the Vice-Captain was glaring viciously at the setter.

Tooru opened his lips to answer but when he felt the threatening aura surrounded Iwaizumi, he startled and decided to save his life.

"No reason… I was just asking this… out of the blue… Right, Iwa-chan?"

"Uh. You'd better."

Sighing in relief to be saved – for the moment – Oikawa didn't say anything else, but he kept in a corner of his mind the question his friend had initially asked.

Hanamaki seemed confused but didn't add anything for a moment while Iwaizumi hid his relief – both that Oikawa hadn't added anything and that Hanamaki didn't have a girlfriend. Not that Iwaizumi cared. Not at all.

"Iwaizumi, are you asking me this because I went to school with Akiyama?" Hanamaki asked with an eyebrow raised.

The Ace tried to hide it but he startled lightly, pretending that the sudden move was caused by the way he took off his jacket. Before he could say a thing though, Oikawa piped up happily:

"Ah! So you DO know her! Who is she exactly? How do you know Kiku-chan? Makki, do you like her? Do you–"

"No, no, no! I don't like her at all!" Hanamaki exclaimed at once, the others glancing curiously while he grinned uncomfortably, "She's my neighbor and we just happened to walk to school together! That's it! Don't go imagining ridiculous stuff, Oikawa!" Makki exclaimed, glaring at the Captain, knowing damn well that he was the sort to imagine the most ridiculous scenario.

After a short pause, Hanamaki crossed his arms, looking over at the Captain and Vice-Captain.

"Why are you asking all that anyway? It's not like you care."

"How _rude!_ I _do_ care! You're my precious teammate, Makki!" Oikawa exclaimed, a hurt look on his face.

Ignoring the setter, Hanamaki glanced at Iwaizumi who shrugged nonchalantly.

"She's in my class. I was surprised to see her talk with someone, that's all." He explained.

It seemed to be enoughexplanation for the wing-spiker who shrugged as well.

"Well, she doesn't do well with people."

"How long have you known Akiyama?" Iwaizumi asked while Oikawa leaned forward curiously as well.

"We were playing together as children, but when we started school… Dunno? We didn't really talk anymore. I really don't know much about her. Why do you ask?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. Just curious."

Oikawa got up and leaned towards his best friend so he'd be the only one to hear him.

"Curious, uh…?" Oikawa whispered.

"What do you want, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asked, frowning at him.

"Nothing, nothing~ _I'm_ the curious one, here~"

Hajime threw him a confused look but decided to ignore his antics.

"By the way, Oikawa, when you do that thing with your eyes – why do you do that? What goes through your mind?" He asked.

"The thing with my eyes? Do you mean, winking? I do that when–"

"Not winking, that creepy thing you do with your eyes!" Iwaizumi added, Hanamaki and Matsukawa snorting at the confused look on Oikawa.

The setter blinked and tilted his head on a side.

"I don't understand, Iwa-chan?"

"When you do that creepy thing with your eyes, when you look scary looking at people–"

"You're the one looking scary when you look at people, Iwa-chan! Not me! I don't do any creepy thing with my eyes!" Oikawa exclaimed, sounding almost insulted.

"Tch…" Iwaizumi continued, crossing his arms, "Sometimes, you look at players or opponents with a gaze with no light at all, you look like you're calculating how to destroy them. That's the creepy thing I'm referring to!"

"Ah, when he looks like he's possessed?" Matsukawa intervened, making Oikawa hiss.

"You mean when he looks like a _demon_ coming straight from hell?" Hanamaki added, smirking.

Oikawa paled at the very idea that there were times when he looked – not just _scary_ – but _frightening!_ Like a _demon!_ If anything, he was as pretty as an angel – but a demon was definitely _not_ something he wanted to look like! The demon-looking one was Iwaizumi, not him!

"What do you mean, a demon coming straight from hell?!" Oikawa hissed in panic, glaring at his friends who snickered.

They chuckled at his insulted and frightened expression but before he could start pouting, Iwaizumi intervened once gain:

"When you observe people, what do you look for exactly?" He asked.

Oikawa huffed, still annoyed by being accused of looking like a demon, then glanced curiously at his friend. He observed Iwaizumi, frowning lightly.

"I'm really curious to find out _why_ you're asking me something like that. But I'll answer anyway – because I am _nice_ and definitely not a _demon_. I usually look for habits or little things that distinguish this person from others – the faster I can figure out someone, the faster I can find a way to beat said-person."

"That's such a creepy way of thinking…" Hanamaki murmured with Matsukawa nodding behind him.

"This isn't creepy! It's just analyzing!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Analyzing?" Iwaizumi repeated.

"Yes, _analyzing_. Like… how can I put it…? You start understanding the person better, you know?"

Iwaizumi sighed, not understanding how his friend was functioning. Little habits, understanding the person better… Perhaps he had been wrong and hadn't seen the same look on Akiyama Kiku's face as Oikawa's. She was freaked out by people and shy – there was no way she'd be able to observe and analyze people the way an extrovert like Oikawa did.

"Ah, it's almost time. We should get going to the gymnasium…" Hanamaki noticed after glancing at the clock.

Iwaizumi waited for everyone to be out before closing the door, watching Oikawa arguing excitedly with the two other third-years regulars about him looking like a demon. Oikawa and Akiyama were completely different. There was no way she was anything close to Trashykawa.

Hajime chuckled just at the idea that he had even _thought_ he had seen the demon-look on Akiyama Kiku's face. She was way too adorable to look like that.

The young man froze suddenly. _Adorable?_ Since when was he thinking _that?_

"What the hell?" He whispered to himself, his heart fastening just a tiny bit.

* * *

 _Aaaaah, I hope it's not going too fast! " But like I said, unlike Sowlmate, there won't be much drama or angst, only fluff, and it'll go to a faster pace - they won't keep breaking each other's hearts for example... So... yeah... I'm trying my best... T.T_

 _For the ones who don't read my other fanfic, Sowlmate, Kanemoto Ayaka is a friend/sponsor of Oikawa! ^^_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	4. Witchcraft?

_Thank you to all who followed and favorited! :D_

 _ **Lili** : A scared wide-eyed doe is a perfect description of Kiku! :3_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : Not all love is angst, some love is just denial and cuteness~ ^^_

 _ **Riomi-senpai** : Cute is what I'm aiming for so I'm glad! :D_

 _ **VioletRyu** : I still don't know how I'm going to make Ayaka appear in this fanfic, if she does it'll be very quick. Or perhaps Kiku will appear in Sowlmate - not sure yet? ^^" Oikawa has reasons to want Iwaizumi with Kiku, but it'll remain a secret for the moment - which means that absolutely no one understands for the moment what the hell Oikawa is thinking._

 _ **PaintCat** : In Orange, Suwa is my fvorite chracter... I was so sad for him but so happy for Kakeru! _

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET WORDS

CHAPTER IV : Witchcraft?

" _Someone has said that it requires less mental effort to condemn than to think."_

― **Emma Goldman**

" _There's a big difference on being wise and being crafty. The former is the attribute of God, and the latter is that of Satan."_

― **Michael Bassey Johnson**

"Cats are cute. Cats are adorable." Iwaizumi suddenly said out of nowhere.

The three other third-years glanced at him with wide eyes. The only sound that was heard was the slurping sound from Matsukawa as he swallowed the noodles through his lips all the while staring, a little dumbfounded, at the Ace.

"Yes?" Oikawa answered hesitantly, not quite understanding where this was going.

"But there's nothing wrong in thinking that? Like… it doesn't mean that because you think a cat is cute you're emotionally attached to it or anything?"

"No?"

"What the hell? Do you want to adopt a cat or something?" Hanamaki asked.

"But you don't want to be seen as a cute little guy who loves cats, you still want to keep your tough looks, that's it?" Matsukawa continued.

"Uuh… I don't want to adopt a cat."

"But you want a pet."

"No?"

"What the hell?" Hanamaki said once again with a confused look – it gave a good summary of the conversation.

"Iwa-chan, are you all right? You've been off during all day and practice…" Oikawa said, staring worriedly at his friend.

"Do you have a fever?" Matsukawa asked.

"You were missing your usual setter, is that it?" Hanamaki added.

"No I don't have a fever, and no I didn't miss Oikawa!" He growled annoyingly, scooping some noodles with his chopsticks, "And _yes_ I'm all right. I was just thinking about stuff."

"Don't think too much without a brain or you'll get an actual fever, Iwa-chan. ATCHA! It HURT Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed after being elbowed harshly.

"That's for insulting me, Assikawa!" He hissed back.

Once they had finished their ramen, they all went their separate ways to go home.

"Do you feel ready for the practice match against Karasuno?" Oikawa asked.

"Of course I do. Kageyama or not, we'll win." Iwaizumi answered grumpily.

"By the way, the doctor said that by next Tuesday, I might be able to use my leg! So maybe I'll get to play after all – sorry, Iwa-chan, you might not get to be the Captain!"

"I don't care about that. But don't push on your leg if you do play, got it?"

"Aye, aye~"

"Did you tell Kanemoto about what happened?" Iwaizumi continued, referring to the almost sponsor of Oikawa.

At this question, Oikawa's smile faded and his shoulders dropped. He glanced away, a distressed and slightly pitiful expression on his face…

"Yes… She scolded me… Even over the phone, thousands of miles away, she can be scary…" Oikawa murmured.

"Of course she scolded you. At least, you have one person able to whip you in shape."

"I always get scolded! By you, by Aya-chan! You're all just cruel!"

"Perhaps you just deserve it?"

"Mean!"

Iwaizumi smiled lightly to himself, amused by his friend's reactions no matter how many years went by. Oikawa never seemed to understand that he was being teased.

"By the way, Iwa-chan, your weird question from earlier, about cats…"

Iwaizumi stiffened lightly, hoping that keeping his hands hidden in his pockets would help him go unnoticed.

Tooru watched him very carefully and even if he noticed the way his shoulders stiffened lightly, he didn't comment on it. He just smiled knowingly before continuing:

"Is this because I remind you of a cute kitty~?" Oikawa asked.

"UH." Was Hajime's only answer with a massive rolling of eyes.

"Oi! What is that supposed to mean?!"

"You're far from being as cute as a cat!"

They've arrived in the building where they both lived and after saying goodbye, they both went their separate ways. Being neighbor with Oikawa meant spending much more time with him but also being closer than anyone else. Thinking back on Hanamaki and Akiyama being neighbors, Hajime wondered how they could be neighbors without knowing each other more than just acquaintances.

His phone vibrated suddenly and he checked it, an avalanche of pictures sent to him by Oikawa. Pictures of cats and kittens. Hajime rolled his eyes, waiting for all the pictures to be sent but his friend was apparently having a lot of fun – especially when he added some selfies in the middle (but that wasn't surprising).

 **Am I not as cute as these kittens~ Here, have some more cute cats!** Oikawa sent, more cats' pictures arriving.

"What the hell am I even supposed to do with all that, dumbass? I don't want a cat…" Hajime muttered to himself, still mildly amused by the pictures of cats and his friend's antics.

Suddenly, a picture that was not of a cat or Oikawa arrived. Iwaizumi almost screamed and jumped, his phone almost dropping until he caught it at the last moment. He almost had a heart attack when he had received a picture of Akiyama Kiku – how the hell Oikawa even _had_ a picture of this girl on his phone?!

 **What the hell, Trashykawa?!** Iwaizumi typed quickly.

 **Ah~ Iwa-chan, you finally react! I knew you'd like this picture in particular~**

 **No I don't! How did you get it anyway?! Have you never heard of the word privacy?!**

 **I just asked a friend of mine to take a picture of Kiku-chan for me a few days ago~ You know I have lots of pictures from lots of people~**

 **That's just down right creepy!**

 **But aren't you glad you have this picture now?**

 **No I'm not!**

Deciding to ignore his friend to give him a lesson, Hajime threw his phone on his bed and ignored it vibrating for long minutes afterward. Then, it stopped – Tooru must have gotten bored by this game. For some reason, Oikawa had taken a liking in Kiku – or rather, he had taken a liking in teasing Iwaizumi about her.

For a short moment, he wondered what Tooru had in his mind before shaking his head, not wanting to think about Trashykawa or his classmate. Even if Hajime had thought that Kiku was adorable for a short moment, that was it. It was true that he had been observing her ever since he had noticed her – by hitting her with his bag – but noting a few things about people wasn't a bad thing. It just meant he was observant. He could note lots of things about his friends and his other classmates, it didn't matter. It wasn't like he was particularly curious about Akiyama Kiku or anything. She was a mystery in several ways – she was always alone and no one seemed to be willing to put up with her, he didn't know a thing about her and no one else seemed to know but Hajime could tell there was more to her than just the shy and socially awkward girl everyone avoided. She had some passion – for her club or wherever she was going after class – and if she _had_ looked at him with the demon-eyes it meant she had more strength than what people gave her credit for.

"Oi… idiot, stop thinking about her…" He muttered, trying to think about something else.

He kept repeating to himself 'stop thinking about her' until he felt comfortable again – but his thoughts were then invaded by Trashykawa's injury. Hajime couldn't tell which was worse.

 _On Thursday, lunch time…_

Hanamaki and Oikawa were arguing about where they'd go have lunch with Matsukawa and Iwaizumi, the last two just watching them in slight annoyance.

"But it's so sunny outside! I want to eat under a tree today!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Why not eat on the roof as we usually do? There's wind up there!" Hanamaki replied, crossing his arms.

"Iwa-chan! Mattsun! Where do you want to eat today?!" Oikawa continued, whipping towards them.

"Don't care…" Matsukawa answered with a shrug, "I'm hungry…"

"Uuh… don't care either… but outside would be a nice change – plus it'll be faster to get there than the roof…" Iwaizumi shrugged.

"Then I choose outside." Matsukawa remarked at the simple fact that he'd eat faster this way.

At once, an overly smiling and happy Oikawa turned towards Hanamaki, giving him the sparkly eyes.

"Tch… Thanks for the betrayal guys…" Hanamaki mumbled before grabbing his bento, "Let's go outside then…" He sighed.

"Yoohoo!" Oikawa exclaimed, jumping up and down.

"Easy on your knee, dumbass!" Iwaizumi cried out at once.

They went outside with their bentos, chatting about everything and anything when Oikawa suddenly stopped.

"Ah, isn't it Kiku-chan over there?" He asked, pointing at a wooden table.

No one was surprised to see her eating alone, headphones in her ears.

"She's all alone…" Oikawa added, sounding almost mournful.

"So? It's not surprising?" Makki said with a shrug.

"That's the girl you were talking about the other day?" Matsukawa asked curiously, "Your childhood friend?"

"We're not friends, just acquaintances. I'm sure Iwaizumi knows her more than me."

"Uh? I don't know her at all…" He muttered, raising an eyebrow.

"Then! Why not get to know her?" Oikawa exclaimed cheerfully, clapping his hands together.

The three other young men glanced at him sparkling happily.

"Where did that come from, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at his friends.

He was now _sure_ that Oikawa had something planned – otherwise he wouldn't be obsessing with Akiyama so much.

"But, Iwa-chan! She's your classmate, shouldn't you worry a little bit more about her if she's all alone? I won't let an innocent young girl be–"

"This tree is a nice spot to eat, right?" Matsukawa interrupted him, pointing at another tree.

"Let's go then," Makki agreed, already walking there.

"Wait! Mattsun! Makki! Let's invite Kiku-chan to eat with us!" Oikawa exclaimed, jumping in front of his two teammates to stop them from taking another step.

"Why?" Makki asked.

"Who cares about this girl?" Mattsun added, raising an eyebrow.

"This is why you don't have any girlfriend…" Oikawa said very seriously.

The two suddenly felt a vein of annoyance popping but Oikawa ignored them – they wouldn't hit him the way Iwa-chan always did. Realizing that said Iwaizumi wasn't saying a thing, he glanced over at his childhood friend. As surprising as it was for the three young men, he was staring at Kiku from afar. Of course, Tooru was overjoyed by it.

Sensing glances on him, Hajime looked back at them, confused when he noticed them staring.

"What?"

"Ah, she's leaving," Makki said, "Let's sit on that table then," he decided.

"Ah! We're too late…" Oikawa muttered but everyone ignored him, walking past him, "Nee! Iwa-chan!" He called, grabbing his arm.

"What is it?"

"Do you really not feel guilty to see her eating all alone?" He asked while the girl went back into the building and disappeared from view.

"…It's not like I can change anything about it anyway… If you want so badly for that girl to not be alone anymore, go talk to her or something…" Iwaizumi said with a half-hearted shrug, not understanding why Oikawa kept rambling on and on about Akiyama.

"But I'm not the one in her class."

Iwaizumi stared at him, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly before joining their teammates to avoid answering any further. Annoyed by his reaction, Oikawa clicked his tongue then followed him, the event forgotten as they continued their initial conversation.

It was only when they went back into their classrooms that Oikawa's strange behavior once again left his teammates confused.

"We're at your class, Iwa-chan!" He exclaimed cheerfully, "Then, we'll see tonight at practice!"

"Uh? But there's still time left before the end of lunchtime…"

"Ah? Yes, but I wanted to discuss something with Mattsun for a while – about blocking!"

"Uh?" Matsukawa said.

"I'll stay with you then," Hanamaki told Iwaizumi.

"AH!" Oikawa screamed, grabbing Makki's arm, "And I need you for a new theory! A new form of attack we'll need to try when I'm back!"

Silence fell on them, all staring at the setter.

"…Oikawa," Iwaizumi started with a dark voice, "Are you trying to avoid me or something?"

"Avoid you, Iwa-chan? But I would nev–"

"You know what? Whatever, I don't care. Do whatever you want." Iwaizumi said angrily, entering his classroom.

Oikawa swallowed hard before glancing hesitantly into his friend's classroom. Iwaizumi sat angrily, arms crossed and right at his side was Akiyama Kiku who startled when he sat so suddenly.

Smiling, Tooru turned around, starting to push his two friends away from class 5.

"Oikawa, what are you planning?" Hanamaki asked.

"It's not like you to push Iwaizumi away. You usually cling to him like a child to his mother." Matsukawa added, both of them staring at the setter in confusion.

"I am ensuring Iwaizumi's happiness, that's what I'm doing," Oikawa answered.

"Even though he must be relieved when you're not around to annoy the hell out of him, I'm pretty sure you didn't make him very happy by telling him to fuck off on his own…" Makki remarked, "What are you planning exactly?"

Feeling a little guilty after hearing these words from Hanamaki, Oikawa realized that he had been acting a little weird – and that Iwa-chan probably didn't like the way he was kept away from the three others.

"Well… I am planning for Iwa-chan and Kiku-chan to start dating soon." Oikawa answered.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa took a double-take, not understanding at first what he meant. Then, their Captain's words echoed in their heads and they almost choked.

"What the fuck?!" Mattsun started.

"WHY?!" Hanamaki screamed, eyes wide in shock.

"The hell you're thinking?!"

"No way he'd fall for her!"

"Calm down, please!" Oikawa exclaimed when people started glancing at the three of them in the hall, "Keep it a secret from Iwa-chan!" He pleaded, clapping his hands together.

"NO WAY!" Makki immediately shouted.

"You can't just go and try to decide of his love life for him!"

"That's just wrong!"

"Shhhh!" Oikawa exclaimed, shushing them.

They finally stopped screaming while Oikawa glanced around and sighed in relief when people ignored them.

"They're the perfect match for each other – they just don't realize it yet!" Oikawa said, hands on his hips.

"No, no, no. Akiyama is a perfect match for _no one_. She's not– she's just… she's _so_ not… she's not a dating possibility for anyone in their sane mind…" Hanamaki said with wide eyes, not even wanting to imagine his _friend_ with this _girl_.

"That's just awful to say, Makki…" Tooru murmured, eyes wide in astonishment.

"I don't know that girl but I agree that she's not… if you want Iwaizumi to date someone, pick a girl more… less… Uuuh… whatever she is…"

"You can't even find out what you think is wrong with her! Why do you reject this idea so vehemently?" Oikawa exclaimed with a scolding tone.

"What's wrong with her?" Hanamaki started, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows, "Other than her personality and complete inability to speak up with anyone, ever, she's not pretty. She's… even shorter than average, she's not thin at all and she's so…"

He made his cheeks puff out and his arms spread out to show that Kiku didn't have a body he considered attractive in the slightest.

"Just say it – you find her fat." Matsukawa said bluntly.

"Exactly!" Hanamaki exclaimed, nodding.

"Just because she's rounder than average doesn't mean she's fat. Plus, Iwa-chan isn't the type of men to judge a girl by her appearance!"

"But even someone who doesn't judge by appearance wouldn't want of this girl! Even a blind man! She never says a thing, she's awkward and just… _crazy!_ Ask anyone who tried befriending – and I know what I'm talking about because I live five meters away from her – she's _messed up!"_ Hanamaki exclaimed, shaking his head.

Oikawa seemed thoughtful for a moment before speaking up again:

"With all due respect, Makki, did you talk to her – really talked – since you were children for anything other than casualties? Did you try to get to know her? Did you ever see anyone going to her home and befriend her? Did you _ever_ see anyone with her?"

"…No but that just proves she's not normal…"

"No, it just proves that you're only prejudiced – just like everyone else." Oikawa concluded.

Sighing, Hanamki and Matsukawa glanced at each other, not knowing how they could convince Oikawa that he was making a mistake.

"Iwaizumi doesn't seem interested anyway. There's no way he'll be from now on." Hanamaki finally said.

"Ah AH! And that's where _I_ – Iwa-chan's childhood and best friend – get to disagree!" Oikawa piped up happily, putting his hands on his hips proudly, "Iwa-chan's type is… short and cute girls!"

The wing-spiker and middle-blocker glanced at each other before looking back, unimpressed, at the setter.

"And you base that knowledge on _what_ exactly? He never had any girlfriend before and he never had a crush he told us about either." Matsukawa said.

"Iwa-chan always turns around and stares at short, cute girls when they walk by him. Also, when we talk about girls, he only ever mentions short, cute ones – and his favorite actresses usually are short, cute o–"

"Ok, ok, we get it. His type is short, cute girls. Akiyama may be short, but she's not cute." Hanamaki cut Oikawa, shaking his hand disdainfully.

"Here you go again, being a meanie!" He scolded, frowning lightly at his friend.

"Nope, just being honest."

"The pitiful choice of a girl aside – why do you suddenly want Iwaizumi to get a girlfriend?" Matsukawa asked.

Shocked, Oikawa took a step back, putting a hand on his heart, faking a hurt look on his face.

"Is my best friend's happiness not reason enough…?" He asked with a trembling voice.

"…You're _Oikawa Tooru_. You must have another reason in mind." Hanamaki said, Mattsun nodding in agreement.

"I'm hurt…" He replied, a deadpanned expression on his face before sighing, "But if you really want to know… I have personal reasons to wish for Iwaizumi to get busy with a girl."

"Personal reasons? What sort of reasons?" Matsukawa asked suspiciously.

Oikawa put one hand on his hip and the other up, shaking his finger 'no' while ticking his tongue.

"Ta, ta, ta. I won't tell you for the moment. Just promise not to say anything to Iwa-chan, ok~?" He said with a wink – which, unlike his fangirls, didn't work _at all_ on his two teammates.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa stared at him before sighing deeply.

"It's going to slap you back hard, Oikawa…"

"But well, if you really want to keep it a secret – it'll be a great show to watch…" Matsukawa said with a shrug.

"You're the bests~" Oikawa hummed happily.

 _On Friday, 3_ _rd_ _year class 5…_

"Everyone, quiet!" The History teacher exclaimed when he entered the classroom.

The conversations quieted down and the few students that had been standing took their seats. Everyone turned their attention to the teacher who spoke up:

"Before starting today's lesson, there is something I want to talk to you about. You will have some papers to do that you will present in front of the class."

Iwaizumi heard a pen drop and when he glanced at his left, he noticed Kiku looking pale before taking her pen back in her trembling fingers.

"You will be in group of two or three that _I_ will choose–"

Almost everyone started whining at once at this, they were bound to be paired with people they didn't get along with. But when the teacher continued, most people shut up to listen to what he'd say:

"On the other hand, you are free to choose any topic that we will be studying this year. It will be only a ten minutes presentation but I want you to work seriously on it – it will be a fourth of your final mark."

"Waaah!"

"No fair!"

"No way!"

"Stop complaining!" The teacher scolded, hitting lightly the blackboard to bring back attention, "I want your topic by Monday – decide it this weekend and it won't hurt to start working on it as well. I will now give you the pairs and the date you will present your paper. Listen carefully because I won't be repeating."

He started calling the students' names from a sheet he was reading on. A few minutes went by, some chatting about their temporary paired classmate.

"Akiyama Kiku." The teacher called, making the girl startle nervously.

At once, all the students who weren't paired with anyone yet glanced worriedly at the girl – of course, no one wanted to be paired with the awkward girl in the back who never talked and even less to have _a fourth_ of their final mark depending on Akiyama when she _couldn't_ speak up in front of anyone. She moved her fingers anxiously while the teacher stared at her before opening his lips to speak up the other name of the person she'd have to work with.

"Iwaizumi Hajime."

Iwaizumi was yawning in boredom when he heard his name and choked. Everyone else sighed in relief while he stood up abruptly, almost making his chair fall over.

"W-what?" He asked, eyes wide.

"Stop sleeping in class, Iwaizumi-kun – you're paired with Akiyama-san for the paper. You'll present it on Thursday in two weeks. Then…"

The teacher continued while Iwaizumi felt his heart beating a little too strongly as he glanced down at Akiyama. She glanced up at him at the exact time, looking a little relieved to be paired with him but baffled by his earlier reaction.

 _And I didn't want to think about her anymore…! Oikawa will have the time of his life teasing me now!_ He thought to himself, flushing in embarrassment and glancing away.

He sat back awkwardly, not daring to glance in Akiyama's direction.

 _What the hell?_ Was the only thing he could think of for the rest of the History class.

Once the idea that Akiyama and him would have to work on a History paper together settled in, Iwaizumi didn't really mind. He just hoped she'd be able to speak on her own without too much trouble. And also that she'd choose an interesting subject of paper.

At the end of class, almost all pairs gathered around tables to discuss their papers.

Iwaizumi glanced at Akiyama who was fumbling awkwardly with something around her neck – was it a necklace?

She glanced at him and when she noticed he was staring, she quickly pulled her necklace back behind her uniform ribbon.

"So… uh… you have an idea of paper?" He asked, head resting on his palm.

Akiyama seemed hesitant before opening her History book. She looked for something for a moment until finding a page she had been looking for and finally, turning it towards Iwaizumi.

"W-would i-it… be… a-all right…?" She asked in a low voice, pointing at some samurai from a History lesson about the Edo era.

Overjoyed about working on samurais, Iwaizumi instantly lit up, a huge grin spreading over his face.

"Yeah! I like it! Let's do that!" He exclaimed.

Kiku grinned brightly when he liked the subject, making Hajime take a double take at her face brightened by her smile. He blinked but almost instantly, as fast as it had appeared, the smile had disappeared from her face and she quickly turned away from him.

Some time later, while changing clothes for practice, Iwaizumi mentioned the paper he'd have to work on with Akiyama, making Hanamaki and Matsukawa blink at him in disbelief – Oikawa was sparkling excitedly at another side.

"Uh…? Repeat that?" Hanamaki hesitated, blinking.

"The teacher paired Akiyama and I for a History paper – I'm glad she chose to work on samurais! Never thought she'd like this sort of things though…" Iwaizumi said with a little smile, "I'm going ahead, hurry everyone!" He said with a little wave.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa followed him, staring at his back as he walked off.

"I can't freaking believe it…" Matsukawa muttered, eyes wide.

"Do you think Oikawa paid the teacher to pair them together?" Hanamaki asked in disbelief.

"Nah, it's more like witchcraft…" He answered just as Oikawa waltzed by them proudly.

"It's called _fate~"_ He answered with a wave, "Iwa-chan~! Wait for me~!" He shouted, following his best friend.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa glanced at each other before going to the same conclusion:

"Witchcraft," they said in one voice with a nod.

* * *

 _I repeat it again - Oikawa doesn't like Kiku and giving up for Iwa's sake, he's got his own reasons to want them together._

 _Thanks for reading! :D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	5. It Had Started with 'Good Morning'

_Thank you to all who favorited and followed this fanfic! There are already so many follows and favorites, thank you so, so much! :D_

 _ **Lili** : I love Oikawa, he's such a beautiful dork but then he get shis serious look and he's on the same level of hotness as Kuroo (and that's quite a high level!) Anyhow, *cough cough* we'll have some clues about what happened to Kiku little by ltitle -some already in this chapter - but it will be all cleared out later in the story! ^^_

 _ **PaintCat** : Well, that's the secret, kitty. I don't have time to sleep, eat or study. So I don't. Ok, I mostly don't STUDY - I always find time for sleep and food... but... ahah! ^^"_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : I think that this story might turn into an analyse of our society who only judges on appearances. It might get a bit serious at times just for that... But well, unfortunately, boys ARE pretty cruel with girls who aren't to their tastes..._

 _ **Cooliceprincess** : We'll know Oikawa's reasons (because he's got more than one, obviously) when Kijime will start to be a THING. ;)_

 _ **CocoaFirefly** : Boys are cruel - it must be in their genes (sorry, but all the bous I've ever met and interracted with only judge girls by their appearance so...) and Oikawa's reasons will be explained later on! ;) Iwa-chan will definitely find Kiku shining! ;D_

 _ **VioletRyu** : Kiku just isn't Makki's type, and because they're neighbors they know secrets from one another they don't want to know. It'll come back later on - mostly to embarrass and annoy Iwa-chan, with the compliments of his three annoying friends who are having the time of their life with this story! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET WORDS

CHAPTER V : It Had Started with 'Good Morning'

" _You amaze me and it's hard for me to turn away and make it not so obvious that I'm looking at you."_

― **Shailee J-N**

" _I didn't let myself think about my infatuation,because then I would have to acknowledge it."_

― **Amy Harmon, The Law of Moses**

Akiyama Kiku was trying hard not to glance up at the man in front of her, across from the table. But she glanced up anyway.

Iwaizumi Hajime didn't notice her glance, too busy yawning while reading a book and taking notes about their paper. He glanced up when he sensed a gaze on him but Kiku looked down at her own notebook so quickly he didn't realize she had been staring. He only blinked and shook slightly his head, wondering why he'd glance at her.

She focused on her work, trying not to feel too nervous about the young man being so close – about a meter away but it was still way closer than she was used to.

They were in the library, working on their History paper. They had been studying for a while now and Iwaizumi's focus was starting to grow thin. He put his chin on his hand and glanced by the window at the baseball club running. It was Monday so the volleyball club didn't have any practice. He glanced back at Kiku who was writing quickly everything she deemed important for their paper.

"Oi," he called in a hushed voice as to not bother anyone else studying.

Kiku's body stiffened and she glanced up very quickly at him, wondering if he was calling her. She swallowed while he spoke up, used to her nervousness by now:

"I don't have club today but what about you? It's almost time for clubs to start." He said, knowing she went away for some unknown club everyday except Tuesday.

"T-there isn't… any club to… day…" She answered hesitantly.

She spoke even lower than usual, Hajime barely discerned her words.

"Ah…"

He hesitated, wondering if he should continue the conversation but Kiku looked back at her book and continued taking notes. He continued observing her curiously for a moment, sunlight going through the window, making her hair shine at every move. His eyes widened slightly and his heartbeat increased.

Her hair had copper reflections in the sunlight.

Sensing a gaze on her, Kiku glanced up and their eyes met. Hajime squeaked and looked away, blushing in embarrassment from both the staring _and_ the squeak. He closed his eyes firmly, trying to ignore the curious stare she was giving him now. He swallowed hard and quickly opened his eyes, glancing in Kiku's direction.

He caught a sight of her smile. It was tiny and shy, her cheeks slightly blushed by the attention he had given her. Hajime's breath stopped while his heart missed a few beats. He couldn't help but stare at her rosy lips while she smiled innocently, almost incredulously. There was something incredibly pure and beautiful in her smile – it wasn't the big, bright smile she had showed him the other day, but it was just as pretty. He suddenly realized that he wanted to see her smile more. Smiling made her look so much more pretty and lively…

Kiku glanced at him once again but this time, when their gazes met, they both blushed and looked down like middle-schoolers across halls.

Hajime took his pen, trying to act natural and studious but the only thing he could think of was what had happened in the morning.

 _In the morning…_

" _Iwaizumi-san!"_

 _He turned around when one of his classmate approached him. Fujioka Masami smiled at him in her sweet way. She was the Captain of the girls' tennis club and one of the most popular girls of Aoba Johsai – everyone half-expected Oikawa and her to be together and become the most perfect couple but for some reason, Oikawa had never seemed interested with the girl. When Iwaizumi had confronted his friend with it, Tooru had answered that Masami was too 'shallow' to his taste. Hajime never questioned him, he mostly didn't care about that girl whether she was shallow or not._

" _Fujioka-san," He greeted with a nod of his head._

 _She put her hands behind her back to appear innocent but it was mostly to make her chest more imposing, taking a pose that was suggestive enough that even Iwaizumi understood she was flirting with him._

Flattered but not interested, _he thought to himself, hands in his pockets and waiting for her to say whatever she had called him for._

" _You're so not lucky to end up with Akiyama-chan for this History paper, Iwaizumi-san…" Fujioka started, making the young man raise an eyebrow._

" _Why?" He asked, wondering once again what was everyone's problem with Kiku._

" _Well… It's_ Akiyama Kiku _…" Masami answered,_ _insisting on the girl's name_ _as if it explained everything._

"… _And?" He continued, eyebrow still raised._

 _Masami chuckled as if he had said something funny or cute then she continued, tilting her head on a side to make her long hair fall over._

" _You're so nice! As expected from you, Iwaizumi-san! But if you want, I could ask the teacher to change the pairs… It's not fair that you'd end up with Akiyama when she's so_ messed up. _You'll end up with a bad grade just because of her and I know you're serious and wouldn't want of a bad grade…"_

" _Akiyama-san seems serious enough. I don't see how that'll be a problem," he answered even if he knew that when they'd have to present their paper to the class Kiku will_ definitely _have trouble speaking._

" _It's all right, Iwaizumi-san, you don't have to hide_ _what_ _you really_ _think_ _…" Masami continued, leaning forward in a secretive tone, "We all know about her…" She murmured with a nod._

" _Well, I don't." He replied with a huff._

 _He was about to turn around and ignore whatever Masami would add but curiosity took over him and he narrowed slightly his eyes._

" _Why is everyone avoiding her?" He asked, hoping he'd finally have an answer._

 _Masami looked surprised he wouldn't know but she glanced around to make sure Kiku wasn't here then continued in a hushed voice:_

" _Akiyama-chan… she needs to see a psychologist. There's something wrong in her head. She's been messed up like that even in Middle-School. She speaks to herself when she's all alone, sometimes she suddenly starts screaming… I've heard that all the people who have tried befriending her ended up at the hospital – she's_ attacked _them! She's weird_ and _dangerous that girl."_

 _She huffed, frowning lightly before shaking her head in disbelief._

" _I don't get why they keep letting her come at school when she could injure someone anytime…"_

 _Iwaizumi didn't want to acknowledge these rumors. But he had to admit that Kiku was definitely acting weird sometimes – muttering to herself in class, being almost invisible, the demon-eyes she had had for a moment the other day… Still, school wouldn't let a potentially dangerous student coming so why was everyone acting so reluctant to get close to Kiku?_

" _I just hope she'll keep here hands off of you – even if I don't doubt you can handle yourself! Ahah!" Misamu continued with a wink before walking away._

Iwaizumi's thoughts were cut by a light tap on his forearm. He startled and looked back at Kiku who stared at him with wide eyes and opened lips, stunned by his reaction.

"Ah, uh, s-sorry…" He said apologetically.

But Kiku suddenly seemed unease. She looked away from him, her heart clenching lightly as she started gathering her books and stuff.

"I… I have to… to go…" She whispered.

"Ah, ok. Uh…" He hesitated, realizing he hadn't worked much on his own, "I have a practice match tomorrow so I can't come to the library but… I think I could cut some time on Wednesday…" He continued in a low voice.

Kiku seemed to hesitate as she put her stuff in her bag before nodding slowly.

"P-practice… match…" She answered, avoiding his gaze.

"I… uh… play volleyball…" He added, not knowing if she had just asked a question or not.

Kiku looked at him from the corner of her eye, not even hiding her stare. For a moment, Hajime thought that she was looking at him as if thinking _'I know that, big idiot'_ but she only nodded and stood up.

As soon as she was gone, Hajime sighed deeply and let his head fall on his notebook. He didn't realize it when they were interacting or silent but he felt _so_ under pressure whenever he was around Kiku and she was acting weird.

" _There's something wrong in her head."_

"Tch…" Iwaizumi muttered to himself before collecting his own stuff.

He wouldn't work any more today so he decided to leave school. As he walked away from the table, he noticed something at Kiku's chair and stopped before leaning down. It was a tiny organizer and even if he knew he shouldn't have, he opened it. He went directly to this week's planning, reading lots of little things from Kiku's tiny handwriting.

Monday

 _No_ _club_

 _Help dad_

 _Hospital at 6pm_

 _Study with Iwa-chan_

 _She calls me Iwa-chan?_ He thought to himself, raising an eyebrow, chuckling to himself in light amusement – no one dared calling him that apart from Oikawa.

Hajime reread the same sentence, wondering if the rumors about Kiku needing a medical and psychological attention were true.

Tuesday

 _Practice match VS Karasuno_

 _Oikawa injured_

 _Bring bento_

 _Is she a fan of Oikawa? Does she stalk him or wants to offer him something? Is this why she knows I'm called Iwa-chan?_ He continued thinking.

There wasn't much written for the rest of the week but after turning a few pages, Iwaizumi noticed that she was marking lots of things about the volleyball club. Either that or stuff concerning her parents – it was always 'help' or 'groceries'. There were also lots of appointments at the hospital – almost every week…

The rumors might be true after all… But Hajime wasn't sure how to feel about that – was he scared? Definitely not. Was he freaked out? He couldn't tell. Was he suddenly uncomfortable around Kiku? Probably…

" _I-wa-cha-n~"_ A voice whispered in his ear.

"GAAAAAH!" He shouted, jumping in alarm.

"Ssshhh!" The entire library immediately reacted, glaring daggers at Iwaizumi and a slightly stunned Oikawa who blinked at his friend's reaction.

"Oikawa! What the hell?!" Iwaizumi hissed, whipping around.

"SSSSHH!"

Hajime grabbed Tooru's arm and dragged him outside the library, half angry but still mostly scared after the fear he had given him.

"What the hell are you doing?! Why did you do that?! You freaked me out!" Iwaizumi hissed when they exited the library.

"Sorry, sorry~ I didn't think you would get so scared!" Oikawa answered, lifting up his hands in apology, "I saw you standing awkwardly so I went to see you – I thought you were supposed to study with Kiku-chan?" he asked.

"I was… She left for uh… she left somewhere?" Iwaizumi answered, still trying to control his frightened heart.

"What's this?" Oikawa asked when he saw the little organizer in his friend's hand.

Before Iwaizumi could react, the setter's hand reached for it and opened it.

"Wait–"

"Is that Kiku-chan's? Why did you have it? Oooh, is she going to come watch our practice match tomorrow? It's written in it? Hospital? What's this all about?" He kept asking.

Instead of answering, Iwaizumi snatched the organizer away from the setter's hands, glaring at his friend.

"It's none of your concern!"

"But you were the first one reading it!"

Unable to deny it, Iwaizumi huffed and put the organizer in his bag.

"Don't read it. Don't mention it. Just… don't. I'll give her back tomorrow, end of story."

"But aren't you curious?" Oikawa asked, following his friend as they walked back towards the entrance of the school.

"…Do you know the rumors about her?" Iwaizumi asked after a moment of silence.

Oikawa blinked and as they walked back home, the Ace explained to him everything he had heard from Masami in the morning. Tooru didn't answer right away, arms crossed over his chest and thinking deeply.

"Well… I didn't know about all of that…" He admitted, thinking back on Matsukawa and Hanamaki's intense objections when he had talked about pushing Kiku and Hajime together, "Why not ask her directly?" He continued with a smile.

"Ask her? Kiku– I mean– Akiyama?! _No way_ I could ask her that! How would I sound like if I suddenly started asking her if she goes to the hospital for psychological treatment?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

"Mmm… You're right. You'd sound like a creeper." Oikawa admitted.

"That's not how I would sound like – also, _you're_ the one saying that…?!"

"Let's ask Makki! He lives next to her! He probably knows!" Oikawa continued, completely ignoring Iwa-chan's comment.

Hajime only sighed while Tooru was already pulling out his phone to give a call to their friend. Not long after, Makki was answering and Oikawa was talking to him.

"Hellow, Makki~ It's Oikawa~"

" _I know. I have read your name on the phone screen. What do you want?"_

"Why do you sound so grumpy?! Aren't you glad I'm calling you?!"

" _I_ _was napping_ _… what do you want? Is it an emergency because if it's not I_ _'ll go back to my nap…_ _"_

"Just a quick question – do you know if Kiku-chan has followed some psychological treatment or something? If she goes to the hospital?" Oikawa quickly asked while Iwaizumi leaned towards him to listen as well.

" _You're still hanging on that…? Yeah she had, a few years ago. Dunno if she still does. Is that all?"_

Oikawa glanced at Iwaizumi who nodded.

"It'll be all for the moment!"

The sound of the phone call ending abruptly made Oikawa blink before he glanced at his phone.

"Oh my, so grumpy…" He commented while Iwaizumi leaned away from him.

"What am I supposed to do with Akiyama now? I'm not supposed to know any of that…" Hajime muttered in embarrassment.

"Well… if everyone knows – you can just say you've heard from rumors. Also… does it really bother you that much?" Oikawa asked, tilting his head on a side.

Iwaizumi didn't know what to answer. It made him feel uncomfortable but he couldn't tell if it was everyone's behavior towards Kiku that might be growing on him. He understood that people might feel uncomfortable about Kiku if such rumors (apparently true?) were spread – heck, _he_ was uncomfortable – but he didn't like the idea of keeping her away from everyone and everything just because of _rumors_.

"What bothers me is to see her so alone…" Iwaizumi finally answered, frowning at himself.

Satisfied by this answer, Oikawa smiled before throwing an arm around his friend's shoulders.

"That's what I thought. Why don't you try finding out the truth from her directly? In the worst case scenario… you'd find out the truth, you wouldn't be so disturbed by it and Kiku-chan would have opened up. In the _best_ case scenario…"

Tooru's smile grew wider as he tapped his friend's shoulder.

"You'd have a new friend! And _she_ would have a very good friend – and I know you're a good friend because you're _my_ best friend!"

Hajime glanced at the Captain suspiciously, wondering once again if there wasn't some hidden goal from Oikawa.

"And in the _absolute_ best scenario! You'd finally have a girlfriend!" He exclaimed cheerfully, laughing and taking a step away to look Iwa-chan's reactions closely.

"What?! No! No way!" Hajime shouted at once, cursing himself for blushing.

"Eh? Don't tell me she's not your type! You're looking at her the same way you looked at that girl you crushed on for two years in Middle-school! Until she rejected you and went with the soccer club's Captain…" Oikawa added thoughtfully.

"Thanks for the reminder." Iwaizumi grumbled.

"If you had talked to her _before!"_

"That's not the problem here! Don't change topic! I don't have a crush on Akiyama!" He exclaimed, but he was still blushing.

"I never said that you had a crush on Kiku-chan." Oikawa answered with a huge grin.

Hajime startled and blushed even more, silent and unable to find anything to answer to that.

Oikawa Tooru narrowed his eyes at Hajime, leaning forward and looking right into his green-gray eyes…

"Mmmm… but are you _sure_ you don't have a crush on Kiku-chan?" He asked in a low voice.

Hajime opened and closed his lips, blushing even more while his heartbeats resonated in his temples.

"S-sure…" He squeaked, taking a step back.

"Really, _really_ sure…?" Oikawa continued, staring at him as if he could read in his soul.

Hajime tried speaking, he tried denying it but he had been glancing and staring for so long at Akiyama. He had been gathering so many little things about her – heck, he had an entire _list_ in his head… He was protective of the petite, shy girl and he hated seeing her so sad or lonely. He would never admit it outloud, but he found her incredibly cute and perhaps _this_ was the real problem: he knew he would never have the courage to speak to the girl if he admitted to himself he found her cute and even _worse_ , if he admitted he had a light crush on her…

Hajime froze completely realizing that the moment he had thought _that_ , he was doomed. Knowing why he wouldn't admit his crush _was_ realizing his crush.

His reaction was instantaneous: he whipped away from Oikawa, suddenly hiding his face behind his hands in the most complete, utter embarrassment in his entire life.

"Damn it, Oikawa!" He shouted, trying to hide his expression of panic.

"Oooh! I was right~?! I was right! Yay~ Iwa-chan has a crush~! Iwa-chan has a–"

"Shut up! It's way _too!_ Don't! Say! WAH!" Hajime panicked, feeling as if his heart was trying to escape his chest.

"I _knew_ your type of girl was short and cute!" Oikawa exclaimed to himself, "Kiku-chan fits perfectly for you!"

"Are you listening to me?!" Iwaizumi shouted angrily.

Instead of glaring at Tooru, he shook his hair and turned around, starting to pace in the middle of the street in slight panic.

Hajime had never been good with crushes – he'd get awkward around said-girls. He wasn't a Don Juan like Oikawa and it was obvious in _every second_ spent near his crush. Every time he got a crush, he usually avoided the girl in panic and fear and embarrassment _because what was he supposed to do exactly…?!_ until the girl either ignored him or he'd stop being weird around his crush.

He had wanted to focus on his studies and the volleyball club – he _didn't want_ to have a crush _now!_ Especially not with his _seatmate_ who also happened to be his _partner_ for a History paper _and_ the shyest girl he knew! If he was so awkward around girls he crushed on – how worse would it get with this cute, shy one?!

Oikawa Tooru watched Hajime pace back and forth in panic, muttering to himself, almost ripping off his hair and cheeks so red it was a miracle he wasn't collapsing from a sudden fever.

"Umm… Iwa-chan?" He called hesitantly but he didn't seem to hear him at all.

"Raaaah! Damn it, damn it, damn it! What am I supposed to do…?! Change class? No, it's too late in the school year now and I wouldn't know how to do that…!"

"Iwa-chan?"

"I can't ignore her because of that History paper – perhaps I should ask the teacher to change the partner! And change of seat or–"

"Iwa-chan!"

Startling, Hajime suddenly froze before glancing at Oikawa who sighed and shook his head. He took a scolding look as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Are you _seriously_ thinking about running away?" He asked calmly but his tone revealed that he didn't like his friend's reaction.

"What else am I supposed to do?!" Hajime cried out.

"NOT run away?" Tooru proposed in slight exasperation, "Iwa-chan, I know you're not comfortable with girls, and that you're more awkward than a blind owl in the forest around the ones you're crushing on – but is this really _such_ a big deal? Nothing is going to change between Kiku-chan and you – she won't notice or even believe it even if you revealed your awkwardness so you don't have to panic. You have this paper to work on and honestly – it's a golden opportunity to get close to her!"

"Why would I do that?" Iwaizumi continued, hating to be scolded by his friend but unable to _not_ look up at him in awe at the fact that he managed to remain _calm_ in this drastic and terrible situation.

"UGH. To figure out if you _really_ like her? To figure out if you would want to date her and–"

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?! I don't know this sort of things! HECK! I don't even know how to talk to girls and even less when I have a crush on them! You said it yourself! I'm a _mess_ around girls! I'm not like you! I can't sweet talk my way out of things! The only thing that's going to happen is that I'm going to be unable to focus whenever she'll be around and our History mark will be ruined by both her shyness and my awkwardness! The whole class will realize it and they're probably going to tease Kiku because of me!" He screamed.

Astonished to hear him screaming so vehemently, Oikawa remained frozen and silent while a wide-eyed, frightened Hajime breathed hard as if he had just run a marathon.

"…Are you done freaking out?" Oikawa asked calmly after a pause.

Still breathing like a bull, Iwaizumi nodded before leaning forward, hands on his knees and nodding, suddenly feeling exhausted after his intense moment of panic.

"…How come you're such a weakling whenever it comes to girls while you can beat every other guy at pretty much everything in school?" Oikawa continued, slightly amused by his friend's reaction.

Panic and fear forgotten, Hajime turned a dark gaze at Oikawa to glare at him. Startling, being the one afraid now, Tooru quickly raised his hands:

"A-anyway! I'll help you out! I'll help you out deal with it, Iwa-chan!"

"No thanks. I can deal with it all right on my own." He grumbled.

" _'Deal with it'_ isn't running away! Even if you could change seat or class! It's not any sweet girl you have a crush on – it's Akiyama Kiku! She's shy and awkward with people, no one stays around her – if you're not careful you might hurt her more than anything! What if _she_ likes you? She'd be broken-hearted just because you freaked out!"

The realization fell on Iwaizumi that Oikawa was right. He couldn't avoid the girl. Not just because of that damn History paper. But because the only person who has been interacting with her (at least a little bit, though awkwardly) had been _him_. He couldn't bear to see her alone. He wouldn't bear to _leave_ her alone.

"…What… should I do…?" Iwaizumi asked in a low voice.

"Uh?" Oikawa hesitated.

"What should I do?!" He cried out once again, "You're the one who understands people better than anyone! Analyze her! How am I supposed to act with her knowing that… that… that I-I have a c-crush on… Kiku… when she's… so shy and awkward with people… I don't want to hurt her! But I-I can't deal w-with all that for now!" He said, blushing in embarrassment to hear himself stammering.

Oikawa blinked in incredulity, not quite believing that his best friend, _Iwaizumi Hajime_ , who was so wild and tough would turn into a _stammering mess_ because of a crush – it wasn't the first time Hajime was reacting like _that_ because of a crush but it was _definitely_ the first time his reaction was so vivid, so panicked and that he _wasn't_ running away from the truth _immediately_.

 _Waaah… He's got it worse than I thought…_ Tooru thought to himself with a smile.

Tooru took a step towards Hajime and put a hand on his shoulder in reassurance.

"Firstly, you're going to calm down – you'll take it one step at a time, ok, Iwa-chan? I think you might need to learn how to breath again because you're turning purple now. OK? Breath in… ok… breath out… Breath in–"

"Stop talking to me like an idiot. Also, am I really asking for _your_ help?" Iwaizumi asked, already regretting his decision.

"Yes you're asking for my help. Let's go home, relax a little and then… we'll figure something out."

"…Ok…" Iwaizumi grunted, still blushing.

The way he had met and started noticing Kiku had been SO awkward – hitting her with her bag, trying not to get freaked out by her silent appearances and disappearances. But he had been so curious and he had noticed so many things about her that it only made him more and more curious day after day. Ever after learning that she _might_ go regularly to the hospital, he didn't care because he just _hated_ how lonely she looked. She needed a friend and even if he wasn't the best choice to be a girl's friend, and even less when he was crushing on said girl, Hajime decided that he'd try his absolute best to protect and care for this shy girl.

Even if it meant being the victim of infinite teasing from everyone, starting by his teammates.

A silent promise to Kiku that he'd try his best to not leave her alone no matter how scared he'd be of his own feelings. Hajime had been careful about Kiku from the very beginning, at their meeting. He had noticed things from the moment he's been sitting next to her. He had glanced at her from the moment she had been too hesitant to give her own name and he had read it on her notebook. He had probably been crushing on her since she had given him that little note that said 'good morning'.

 _Good morning_ … He thought to himself with a tiny, shy smile. _It had all started with 'Good morning'…_

* * *

 _I do hope that the crush isn't coming too fast - but it's only physical and curiosity for now, the emotional connection will start growing later, little by little~ Iwa-chan probably thinks that if he doesn't think about Kiku and the word 'crush' he wouldn't have said crush anymore... He's sweet - but I'm not going to let him have a peaceful dating experience (about 85% of the chaos that might ensue will be caused by Oikawa, though)_

 _I really liked writing the chapter 6 so I can't wait to post it (FINALLY some pov on Kiku's part!)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : JUST A CRUSH (ahah, Iwa-chan all flushed, and embarrased, and crushing~ Too cute~)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	6. Just a Crush

_Thank you for all who followed and favorited, as well the reviews! :D_

 _There is a problem with the reviews system and I can't read them - I know they're here but I cant read them, so as soon as it's fixed, I'll answer to the reviews then. ^^_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET WORDS

CHAPTER VI : Just a Crush

" _She blushed and so did he. She greeted him in a faltering voice, and he spoke to her without knowing what he was saying."_

― **Voltaire, Candide**

" _In an extroverted society, the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that an introvert is often unconsciously deemed guilty until proven innocent."_

― **Criss Jami, Venus in Arms**

When Iwaizumi Hajime arrived for morning practice, he was surprised to see Matsukawa and Hanamaki already there, waiting for him with arms crossed over their chests.

"Oooss," Iwaizumi said as he took out the key for the changing-room and opened the door, "I'm surprised to see you here so early you two."

he entered the room and let down his bag but when the two third-years didn't answer, he looked over his shoulder.

"Is this true?" Hanamaki asked.

"What is?" Iwaizumi asked in return.

"What Oikawa told us. About you, liking Akiyama Kiku."

Iwaizumi instantly blushed fifty shades of red and hit his head against the locker, cursing his friend and thinking of new ways to murder him.

"T-the bastard! He had promised not to say anything!" He hissed to himself.

Hanamaki's eyes widened and he ran to his friend, turning around the Ace and shaking him.

"It's true?! It's fucking true?! Why?! How?!" He screamed.

"What the hell?! Fuck off!" Iwaizumi shouted, pushing away Hanamaki before huffing annoyingly and embarrassingly, "I-it's not like I can decide of this sort of things, ok?! J-just don't mention it!" He exclaimed.

He tried to act busy by taking off his clothes. It was hard enough dealing with the realization he had a crush on a girl, he didn't want to talk about it anymore – he had barely slept last night and he just wanted to focus on the practice match later this day.

Takahiro opened his mouth to continue but Issei grabbed his shoulder and shook his head. The wing-spiker hesitated just as the second-years arrived in the changing-room. Takahiro leaned against the locker next to Hajime, talking in a low voice so the third-years would be the only ones to hear.

"You know what is said about her? Oikawa called me yesterday asking me about it so _you_ know – she's crazy, like, messed up, _insane!_ You can't be _serious_ about her!" He hissed in a low voice.

Annoyed by these words and the fact that his friend was deciding for him, Iwaizumi – now changed in his gym clothes – closed the locker door sharply. It resonated in the entire changing-room, making everyone startle and look at him in a mix of awe and fear.

"And it's _none_ of your business!" Iwaizumi hissed, glaring at Hanamaki who felt a little guilty when he saw the annoyance and pain in his friend's eyes, "Just let it go. I'll… get over it, I'll forget it soon. I'm sure. It's just a passing crush…"

Before Hanamaki could answer he turned around and left to go to the gymnasium.

"Hurry up everyone!" He exclaimed while leaving, "Ah, and because I'm now pissed off, special training regiment today!" He announced.

Everyone – and especially the second and first years whined because 'special training regiment' from Iwaizumi meant that they'd feel their muscles aching for the next three days – _at least_ … Hanamaki sighed, starting to change before glancing up at Matsukawa who was staring at him with the same gaze he reserved for blocking particularly annoying opponents.

"W-what?" Hanamaki hesitated.

" _You_ pissed him off. Also, he's right, it's none of your business who he ends up crushing on – or dating. Even if this girl isn't to _your_ tastes, perhaps she is for Iwaizumi. We don't know him as much as Oikawa – if he thinks it can work between these two, it probably will."

He paused before adding with a nonchalant, lazy shrug.

"Up to this point, he's been right at least."

Hanamaki didn't answer, feeling guilty for his behavior towards his friend. It was none of his business so he should just let it go – even if it didn't make bloody sense to him why Iwaizumi, who could easily have as many girls as Oikawa, would go and crush on the strangest, shyest, possible insane girl to be.

They went to practice – with the special training regiment that left the entire team (except a few of the third-years who were used to it by now) in an exhausted shape.

"Don't kill them before the practice match tonight," Coach Irihata told Iwaizumi before the end of practice.

"In the long-term, it'll serve them right – they'll have more stamina and strength," Iwaizumi answered with a determined nod.

Irihata chuckled, nodding before tapping his Ace's shoulder.

"Well, I think you can call it off for one day – let's not have any injury. Oikawa is enough."

Iwaizumi grunted as answer, deciding to let the others go earlier than planned – they were more than relieved about it. It was then that Oikawa decided to show up, in his school uniform.

"Aww, you're leaving already? But it's not the end of practice yet?" He asked as his team exited the gymnasium.

The growls and whines he received as answers were enough to let him guess that Iwaizumi had had a bit of a hand in their morning practice – that and also the furious glare the Ace was currently sending him as he advanced angrily.

"Iwa-cha–"

"You! Why did you tell them?! You had promised not to say anything to anyone!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, grabbing his friend to shake him.

"AH! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Iwa-chan! I said I wouldn't tell Kiku-chan! Not the team! And I didn't tell _everyone_ – I only told our best friends on the team! Also, Makki knows Kiku-chan personally, if anything it's–"

"If you're about to say that it's a good thing I'm going to punch you! It's _not_ a good thing! What if they spread it and everyone learns about it?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

"Iwa-chan! Do you really think Makki and Mattsun would do such a thing to you and Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked, a little shaken from the rough treatment he had received so early in the morning.

Iwaizumi glared at him, huffed angrily then let him go, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You'd better stay out of this from now on. I don't plan on doing anything – she's good on her own and I'm good on my own, ok?! Don't try to force us together or anything!" He hissed.

"I promise! I promise I won't do anything to force the two of you together!" Oikawa exclaimed, crossing his fingers discreetly in his back.

Thankfully, Iwaizumi didn't notice. He stared at his friend, trying to figure out if he was being honest before shaking his head.

"I'm gonna take a shower…" He grumbled.

The first teammates started to come out in their school uniforms, they saluted Oikawa on their way out and when Hanamaki and Matsukawa arrived, they joined their Captain.

"Makki, are you the one who angered Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked at once, with an overly sweet smile.

Guilty, the light-haired man startled.

"He's the one," Mattsun answered in a bored voice.

"That's what I thought… ah lala, Makki – didn't I say to _not_ give your opinion on the matter? Love isn't something you can control!" He continued with a sigh.

"I got it, I got it… I won't say anything else…" Makki grumbled, "Iwaizumi said it was just a crush anyway… It doesn't mean anything will happen…"

"Exactly, it doesn't mean anything will happen," a voice grumbled from behind.

They turned around to look at Iwaizumi.

"Also, Iwa-chan gets so flustered and clumsy around his crushes that he becomes useless~ No way anything would happen unless he is given a little push~" Oikawa intervened.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki snorted at the image of their tough Ace being flustered to the point of clumsiness while Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and started to head for the school buildings.

"It's just a crush…" He mumbled to himself.

The group of four third-years reached the main buildings while more students were arriving. Most girls were in awe at Oikawa who waved at them with a kind smile – the boys were mostly glancing in a different type of awe at Iwaizumi who didn't seem to notice a single thing.

"Oh~ Isn't it Kiku-chan coming our way~?" Oikawa exclaimed suddenly.

Iwaizumi – who had not noticed the girl walking towards them while staying as close as possible to the walls – suddenly froze. Matsukawa bumped into him then threw him a look that said _'are you serious?'_ before Iwaizumi continued walking, trying to appear nonchalant and _not at all_ glancing at the girl.

Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa remained a few steps behind to admire the scene.

As he walked by Kiku who didn't seem to notice him at all, Hajime turned his head as far away as possible.

 _It's just a crush, it's just a crush, it's just a crush_ … he repeated to himself.

He focused so much on his steps that he felt as if he had forgotten how to walk. Just then, Kiku glanced up and their eyes met. Hajime startled and flushed while the girl smiled to him.

"G-good morning… I-Iwaizumi-san…" She said hesitantly but with far less hesitation than she used to.

"AH! UH! G-g-good m-maarn, I-I mean, uuuh…"

Kiku blinked in disbelief to see him stammering while he tried to appear calm – he failed. Hajime took a deep breath but almost choked in the same time he tapped his feet together. He stumbled forward and tried to find his balance but failed miserably as gravity took over and he fell face first on the floor.

The entire hall turned silent and glanced, stunned, at the young man on the floor.

"Oh my god. He is so embarrassing…" Hanamaki mumbled while Oikawa was trying hard to hold back his laugh behind his hand, his entire body shaking from his laugh.

"Is that Iwaizumi-san?" A girl murmured as Hajime slowly sat up, bright red in embarrassment.

"What happened…?"

Iwaizumi ignored the whispers while Matsukawa and Hanamaki couldn't help but snort when they saw his chin red from the fall.

"I-Iwaizumi-san, a-are you all right?" Kiku asked, leaning down to help him.

But it didn't help Iwaizumi to have the young girl so close to him so suddenly. He startled and jumped away from her, raising his hands in front of him.

"A-ah, I-I UH…"

"He's got it worse than I thought…" Matsukawa said – it was too much for Oikawa who exploded in laughter, kneeling on the floor and holding his stomach while it was Hanamaki's turn to hide his laugh behind his hand.

"Eeeh? Is that Akiyama Kiku?" Someone murmured when they noticed the girl kneeling next to Iwaizumi.

"Is she the one who made him fall?"

"Uuh, the bitch…"

"She's crazy anyway…"

Some girls chuckled, throwing mean looks at the girl who glanced around hesitantly. Kiku was suddenly aware that the entire hall had stopped to look at her and Iwaizumi and she felt her heart in her throat.

She lowered her head to hide her hurt expression and turned her hands into tiny fists to hide her trembling, holding tightly her bag.

Iwaizumi heard the whispers and his eyes widened in shock – even if no one had seen what had really happened (except the three idiots laughing their asses off behind him) – why would they immediately conclude that it was Kiku's fault when she was trying to _help him?!_

Oikawa heard the whispers as well and immediately stopped laughing, glancing at the awkward couple – Kiku was crouched down, avoiding looking at anyone while Iwaizumi seemed at a loss at what to do. But he looked definitely hurt and angry to hear such murmurs echoing around. The setter stood up from the floor.

"Makki, it's enough," he said so that only his two friends would hear.

"Uh? Why?" he asked between two fits of laugh.

"Stop laughing. There's nothing to laugh about. Didn't you hear what the others said?" Oikawa said, frowning lightly.

"Uh? What did they say?" Hanamaki asked, glancing around.

Just then, Iwaizumi decided to speak up, leaning forward towards Kiku.

"I-it's not your fault! I-I mean, I-I tripped… uuh…" He hesitated awkwardly.

Kiku glanced up at him with an expression he couldn't quite understand – a mix of fear, panic, astonishment and maybe hope?

"Ahah, Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa suddenly exclaimed loudly, approaching his friend and a stunned Kiku, "You're always so clumsy when you're tired after an exhausting practice~!" He exclaimed so that everyone would hear him.

Iwaizumi and Akiyama both stared up at him in shock while more whispers echoed around.

"Eh? He really tripped then?"

"Iwaizumi-san did?"

"It's kinda cute!"

"Poor Iwaizumi-san! He must be really tired to trip…!"

Oikawa smiled at Iwaizumi, showing him his hand to help him back up. Still hesitant and awkward, Iwaizumi took his friend's hand and once he was back up, everyone went back to normal, whispering about how cute it was for the tough Ace to be a little clumsy once in a while. Kiku stood up as well, glancing around nervously before looking back at Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

"Thanks…" Hajime told his friend who smiled.

Tooru nodded while Hanamaki and Matsukawa joined them. They all turned towards Kiku but she was gone.

"Eh? Where did Kiku-chan go…?" Oikawa asked, turning around but he couldn't find the petite girl in the crowd.

"She said thanks then left," Iwaizumi said.

"Eh? I didn't see her? I didn't hear her?" Oikawa hesitated, tilting his head on a side.

"No one ever does, anyway…" Hajime replied with a frown.

Now that the astonishment of Oikawa's help had faded, he was back to feeling annoyed by everyone's behavior towards Kiku. Not only they had immediately thought that she had caused his fall (which was already ridiculous in itself) but they had also immediately turned around completely the moment Oikawa had stepped in. Not an apology or a glance to Kiku. They ignored or accused her because she didn't fit their expectations and bowed and listened to Oikawa's every word because he was pretty and popular.

"You do."

"Uh?"

Hajime blinked, staring at his friend who was watching him with a little, honest smile. It was such a rare sight that it managed to erase Hajime's annoyance, replaced by stupefaction and… what was it he was feeling right now? He had the urge to touch his chest where his heart was, it was suddenly beating so much more strongly… what was it he felt? _Peace…?_

" _You_ see her, and _you_ hear her. Right, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa continued.

Unable to answer to that, Iwaizumi remained silent. Then, the beginning of class resonated and the four volleyball players went in their own classes. Iwaizumi's steps slowed down when he watched from afar Akiyama Kiku.

She was all alone but for once, she wasn't listening to music. When Hajime entered the classroom, she glanced at him and for this short moment, everything was quiet. No discussion was heard, no chair racking against the floor was heard either, no annoying ringing resonating. There was no one but Hajime and Kiku, both saying " _thank you for what you did"_ in complete silence. But somehow, they heard it.

Hajime sat at his chair while Kiku looked at her desk. He felt much better than before – he was often angry or annoyed at a thing or another, he could be described as 'irritated' most of the time. But when he was near Kiku, it was quiet and he didn't feel irritated at all. He felt good.

The rest of the day went as usual, a little too slow for Iwaizumi who was impatient to have a practice match, even if it was just Karasuno. But with Kageyama as setter, they were sure to have a good level. At the end of class, he stood up excitedly – even if he hid it well – and quickly went to the changing-room and the gymnasium.

Kiku had watched Hajime standing up excitedly, a little curious about his excitement. Then, she remembered that he had a practice match. To be sure, she looked into her bag for her organizer but she couldn't find it… Thinking she had probably forgotten it in her bedroom, she let it go and decided to go at the gymnasium. Perhaps she'd watch for a little while the match. Plus, she had a bento to give.

She went calmly to Aoba Jousai's gymnasium where the volleyball club was practicing. Kiku let her head glance inside, noticing that Karasuno High-school was already here and that both teams were warming-up. They were tossing back and forth, practicing spikes and serves. Kiku noticed Iwaizumi from afar and smiled to herself just as someone walked past her – a boy taller than her, but short compared to the giants that were the volleyball players. He was wearing Karasuno's jersey so she concluded he was one of the player who would play today. He had bright orange hair and was holding his stomach, he looked a little sick…

Worrying for him when he walked a little aimlessly, Kiku wondered if he needed help. But before she could speak up, a player from Karasuno ran to him and after a little discussion that Kiku overheard, she quickly concluded that the reason of this boy's sickness was stress.

 _I know the struggle… good luck to you…_ Kiku thought to herself while the boy was being talked to by Karasuno's manager.

For some reason, he made a squeak and went red, but he looked a little more alive – probably?

Kiku was still staring at the strange scene like a curious bird just as Coach Mizoguchi arrived.

"We're going to start the match soon – are all of your players warm up?" He asked the number one.

"A-ah, almost! Hinata – come, you need to warm-up!" The Karasuno guy told the orange haired boy.

Mizoguchi made a little disapproving sound and was about to turn back towards the court when he noticed Kiku, hidden behind the door.

"Kiku-chan!" He called, going to her, "What are you doing, hidden there?" He asked with a smile.

She startled and bowed in salutation to the coach before reaching for her bag where a bento was.

"C-could you g-give this…?" She asked hesitantly.

"As usual, yes, don't worry!" He answered, taking the bento in his hands, "There will be a practice match soon – will you watch it?"

Instead of answering, Kiku tried to glance on the court to catch a glimpse of Aoba Jousai's players, and one in particular. Mizoguchi glanced over his shoulder, in the direction of the players that Kiku was staring at.

"Are you… looking for someone?" Mizoguchi asked hesitantly.

Kiku startled guiltily before shaking her head shyly, flushing in embarrassment.

"A-all right… I'll bring this to Coach Irihata, then," Mizoguchi added, showing the bento before turning his heels around and leaving.

Kiku didn't answer, going back behind her hiding place. Her eyes caught sight of Iwaizumi, saying something to a tall and weirdly haired boy – his head looked like a turnip… Iwaizumi was wearing the jersey number one – it was usually the one worn by the Captain but without Oikawa, he was the one leading the team. It made Kiku strangely proud.

She turned around with a smile to take the stairs to watch the practice match, her step lighter, hopping as she always did when she felt happy. Kiku froze completely when she saw Oikawa Tooru watching her from afar closely, an amused and slightly thunderstruck expression on his face to see the girl being so… herself and not closed up…

"Kiku-chan~" He called when he realized she had noticed him, "I'm sorry I didn't hear you leave this morning!"

Kiku quickly shook her head to let him understand that she didn't mind, but she was unable to voice her thoughts, nervousness invading her.

"Do you know Coach Mizoguchi? I just saw you give him a bento!" Oikawa continued, approaching her.

He didn't want to get too close and scare her off but he was still closer than the girl was used to if the way her body stiffened was any indication. Kiku hesitated before nodding as answer to his question.

"Mmm…~" Oikawa hummed thoughtfully, trying to find out what sort of relationship tied Kiku and Mizoguchi.

They didn't look alike, so they weren't family. Mizoguchi didn't seem interested in high-schoolers – and he was too old for that anyway…

Kiku quietly walked past him before stopping and turning around hesitantly, Oikawa not realizing that the girl had walked past him and was about to leave. Kiku hesitated, opening and closing her lips before finding the courage to speak up – and her heart almost leapt out of her chest because of that:

"U-uhm…! O-Oikawa-san…" She called, making the volleyball Captain turn towards her with a kind smile.

 _Oh? She's speaking to me?_ He thought, a little surprised.

"W-will you… play…?" Kiku asked in a low voice, fumbling with her hair and ribbon, cheeks red.

"I have the doctor's authorization, so yes…" He answered, a little worried she might be one of his fan – that wouldn't go well with Iwa-chan…

But when he answered that, instead of a joyful reaction, the girl frowned lightly to herself.

"I-if y-you'll play… you'll be the… um… the Captain, r-right? Y-you'll wear the number one…?" She hesitated.

Oikawa blinked, not understanding why she was saying that. Then, he glanced over his shoulder at the warm-up. His mouth formed a 'o' in understanding when he saw that Iwaizumi, being the temporary Captain, was wearing the number one jersey. Overjoyed, he turned, a little sparkly, towards the girl:

"Oooh~ Do you like seeing Iwa-chan with the number one? You don't want me to go and take the number one from him? Is that it?" He asked, a little excitedly because his ship was sailing on its own and he barely had to work on it.

Kiku blushed terribly when he figured her out and she looked down, trying to ignore the way he was staring at her, like an excited, happy puppy. It made her even more nervous because she couldn't understand _why_ he was acting like that. She was usually pretty good at figuring out people, but not understanding their reactions made her even more anxious than usual…

"I-I… think that… the number four suits him… better…" Kiku answered in an embarrassed whisper.

"Oh!" Oikawa said, almost hopping up and down in excitement to see the girl so obviously crushing on Iwa-chan.

 _If the two are already crushing on each other, they only need a little push to get together!_ He thought to himself, ecstatic.

But before he could add anything, Kiku bowed to him and ran away. Oikawa wondered what to do before glancing at the warm-up once again. The two teams were aligned in front of one another, about to start the practice match. Going in now would be more bothersome than anything. No one would be entering by this hall and he was away from Mizoguchi's eyes which meant that _for now,_ no one would notice him.

"Well~ I might as well enjoy the show and watch how Tobio-chan does from here~" He told himself, leaning against the entrance and remaining out of view, "And Kiku-chan will see her Iwa-chan being the temporary Captain, muhuhu~"

* * *

 _I've always thought that it was weird that Oikawa would appear in the middle of a practice match instead of being there from the beginning - I suppose he had just gone back from the doctor or whatever, but it'd be a weird organization. Who would go to the doctor to ensure his leg would be all right before entering in the middle of a practice match? Considering he had free time on Monday, the day before, Oikawa should have gone then. Once again, no one was surprised to see him late so...? Anyway, I tried finding some sort of tiny explanation for that. (but we all know that the reason why he appeared so late was for cliffhanger purpose in both the manga and anime)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : FEELING BOLD_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	7. Feeling Bold

_I'm sorry I didn't post earlier but I was too much into an Ayakou mood to write Kijime... Also, i don't seem to get over my exhaustion and soemhow sick-bu-not-really state... "_

 _Thank you for your support! Thank you to all who followed and favorited! :D_

 _ **shadow-binder** : I'm glad you like the story and Kiku! :D The story will be complete fluff~ (compared to Sowlmate)_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : Kiku's relationship to arhem, someone will be revealed later on. ;) People are usually uselessly cruel and Kiku is always the victim - but the more we'll learn about her, the stronger she'll appear! ;)_

 _ **FanFictionAddiction4EVER** : I really have to keep writing Asahi... T.T I hope I don't have Aoba Jousai's characters OOC... It's not easy writing about them because unlike Nekoma and Fukurodnai, we've almost only saw them on matches so it's different from their everyday behavior I suppose... Kiku is one of these poor people who never fit in and because no one goes to her, they don't realize how sweet she is... :)_

 _ **Lili** : I love writing Oikawa, he's such a complexe character - always balancing between joke/happy-go-lucky and terribly serious to the point of looking devilish (not in a trickster way even if I think that to some extent, Oikawa IS a bit of a trickster) all the while being so fragile... Kiku's past will be revealed little by little._

 _ **PaintCat** : Glad I covered up Oikawa's lateness! :D Thts truly confusing this time (the time to warm-up + 2sets of a match...? That's AT LEAST an hour if not more?) absent from court? I'd be tempted to say he was with a girl but it's not his type to miss practice for a girl and especially a practice match with his Tobio-chan... Like I told Lili just above... I love writing Oikawa's character - so complex, he's a blessing for writers! He's orgasmic - not just because he is OIKAWA TOORU but because he is such an interesting and complex character! *O*_

 _ **Guest** : I'm glad the end of chapter 4 made you laugh! :3_

 _ **Shy guest** : I'm so happy you lie this story - and I hope Hajime isn't OOC! _

_**Cinnamonroll-chan** : The cuteness is a nice change from Sowlmate's angst, uh? x) I hope you'll like it as it goes on ! ;)_

 _ **rheascarlet** : Yep. I wrote From Evening to Dawn (which I should finish as well...) and Sowlmate! :) And once I'm done with whivecer of these three is done, I'll write another story (Kuroo) and probably one for Oikawa - if I manage to find a proper idea because I have like three different ideas of OC but I can't settle down my mind..._

 _ **deadlywhisper21** : I'm really happy you like my story but your review kind of rubbed me in the wrong way - even if I understand that you meant no harm and that it was constructive - and I'm all for constructive reviews. I'll answer to you in the most polite way I can, though. You wrote that Kiku was way too shy and that it was overboard with her going to see a psychitrist, right? You said I had to make her a little "normal" but there is nothing anormal in being shy or mentally ill. She's as human, as normal, as anyone else. Being shy isn't a disease, seeing a psychiatrist isn't a bad thing - it's just stygmatized things in our society which make people like Kiku (and like me and many more readers, I believe) feel like victims, guilty just for BEING. That's why I'm writing a character who is "overboard", who is "way too shy" and "also sees a psychiatrist". Because I want to show people, through my writing, that no matter how shy or mentally ill they are, they are human and beautiful and they deserve love and respect - from classmates, teachers, neighbors, friends, lovers, everyone. I hope my answer didn't anger you but I am speaking honestly. :)_

 _ **Anon** : (when I read your pseudo I couldn't help but think about the "Francis! Francis! -Anon, anon, sir!" from Shakespeare's Henry IV part I! XD) Anyway. My love for Shakespeare shone again. Anywaaaay... um... I completley forgot what I wanted to add? Except that I thank you very much for your review! It made me very happy! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET WORDS

CHAPTER VII : Feeling Bold

" _It is truly beautiful how pure and compassionate you realize some people are when they open up to you like a book begged to be read._

 _It is truly beautiful how they are so vulnerable to love when they stop holding it all back."_

— **Soumya Goswami**

" _Love, like Fortune, favours the bold."_

― **E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly**

The next day, Iwaizumi entered the classroom and saw Kiku looking for something in her desk and her bag, looking a little bothered and panicked.

"Good morning," he said when he arrived.

She startled and glanced up at him, flushing lightly.

"G-good m-morning," she answered before continuing to look into her desk.

"Are you looking for something?" He asked curiously, trying to keep down his heart from beating too excitedly because _he was talking with his crush_.

 _We're just talking, damn it, calm the fuck down, little drum_ … He thought to himself, trying hard not to blush.

"M-my uh… organizer… I-I can't find it anymore…" Kiku answered, finally sitting down at her chair with a little pout.

Hajime blinked before realizing that _he_ had her organizer. He cursed himself for not thinking about it before and started looking through his bag. It attracted the girl's attention who glanced at him as he pulled out the little organizer.

"I… uh, found it at the library, I'm sorry I had forgotten about it until now…" He explained sheepishly.

Kiku's eyes widened lightly until she turned on her chair to face him. She approached her hands to take the organizer. Her fingers brushed Hajime's and he blushed terribly at the electricity that shot through his arm.

"Thank you…" She said with a soft smile.

His heart missed a beat and he tried to say _"you're welcome"_ but it sounded closer to a pathetic _"yor wellabubuh…"_. She didn't seem to mind his low, grumbling stammer and opened her organizer, looking relieved. But the moment she read what she had written, she lost her smile and glanced at the young man next to her who was still trying to say something.

"D-did you… um… r-read it?" She asked in a low voice.

"Ah, u-uh, no!" He answered before feeling guilty at the relief he saw in her eyes.

He glanced around nervously before rubbing the back of his neck, his hand going all the way into his hair to shake them, like every time he did when he felt bothered by something.

"Uuh… actually… I did… I-I'm sorry…" He said, not bearing to lie to the girl.

She glanced at him once again, looking stunned but he couldn't tell if it was because he had initially lied, because he had read her organizer or because he had admitted the truth?

"O-oh…" She said, sounding somewhat disappointed before turning her head away and closing her organizer.

Hajime hesitated, not knowing what to say or add. He felt guilty for not being honest from the beginning, and even worse, not having the courage to tell the girl that Oikawa had also read it. He didn't dare open his mouth again.

Kiku glanced at him several times, a little nervous and surprised that he wasn't asking any question concerning what he had read. Observing him from the corner of her eyes, she noticed his slight nervousness – it expressed with his hand constantly ruffling his hair, his crouched position and the 'tch' coming out of his lips every once in a while. Sensing a gaze, he glanced at her but she looked away so quickly he didn't see her looking at him. He looked guilty for lying to her. He hadn't meant to look into her privacy and he wasn't asking her any question and for the moment, there wasn't any other rumor about her. No word that had been written in her organizer had spread yet.

Deciding that Iwaizumi Hajime didn't seem to have any grudge against her and didn't seem like someone who would give free pain, Kiku opened her lips once again. Her little intake of breath to speak up attracted the young man's attention but before a sound could escape her lips, the teacher entered and the class started. Disappointed at her own indecision and inability to speak up, Kiku lowered her head in shame.

Hajime glanced at her several times, a little worried, but he didn't dare bother her. He was starting to be able to focus on the lesson when a little paper appeared at the corner of his desk. His eyes widened and he glanced at Kiku who tapped the table with her finger, cheeks flushed. Hajime's heart missed a beat but he quickly recovered, excitement making him almost jump off his chair when he reached for the paper to read what she had written for him.

 **Yesterday, you played very well.**

He stared at the words for a moment, reading the words again and again until it was printed in his mind. He was aware of Kiku glancing at him several times to wait for his reaction. He was dumbfounded, he hadn't expected the girl to watch the match – and now he felt a little ashamed because they had lost…

He quickly glanced up at the teacher, then ripped a page off his notebook when he wasn't looking, cursing the loud sound it made but it didn't attract anyone's attention. He wrote a quick message then passed it to Kiku who read it eagerly.

 **You watched the match? I didn't notice you, sorry. We weren't at our best without Oikawa, sorry for the pitiful show.**

It made Hajime smile to himself and he quickly hid his smile behind his hand but his eyes were sparkling just to see her so joyful. Just to exchange little messages written on a paper. The impatience to read her answer, to give her one of his own, all mixed with his feelings and the excitation of being caught… it made both Kiku and Hajime giddy.

The paper came back to him and he grinned when he read the message she had written.

 **It was a nice change to see the team without Oikawa-san, it was more interesting. And I think you all played very well. I liked watching this match.**

It must be the first time someone even said that a match had been more interesting _without_ Oikawa.

Not knowing what to add, Hajime wrote a simple "Thank you" and handed the paper to the girl. He hadn't expected any answer but it came anyway.

 **You're welcome. When will you have free time to study on the History paper? I have club everyday after school…**

Hajime wondered when he'd have time – he had practice as well. The only time he could think of was the weekend but he couldn't really tell her that, right? It'd seem… weird to invite her somewhere on a weekend.

 _But it's only to study. There's nothing wrong in that, right?_ He thought to himself.

Feeling bold, he wrote down his answer and gave it to the girl, watching carefully her reaction.

 **This Saturday at 2pm at the library next to the train station?**

Kiku's hair hid her expression but Hajime was pretty sure she seemed happy and impatient. He was still eager to read her answer and almost hopped off his chair in joy when he read it.

 **Yes**

Kiku and Hajime exchanged a look and a smile before focusing on the class – or rather, _pretending_ to focus because their minds and hearts were a thousand miles away from this classroom.

Later this day, Iwaizumi opened the changing-room's door while whistling happily, making the first and third years who arrived blink in disbelief.

"Is Iwaizumi-san whistling _and_ smiling?" Kindaichi asked hesitantly Kunimi when they entered the changing-room.

"He is…" He answered, just as dumbfounded to see their senpai usually more of the grumbling and scowling type looking so happy.

"Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa called, quickly joining his friend's side, "You look terribly happy~ Did something good happen in particular?" He asked curiously.

"Mmm, not really? I'm just feeling in a good mood," he answered with a shrug, "Ah, by the way, this week-end, I won't be able to go with you at the mall like we had planned."

"Uh? It's rare of you to cancel plans… Do you have something else planned?" Tooru asked, a little stunned by the sudden change of plans.

"Mm, I have to study for the History paper with Ki– I mean, Akiyama-san." He answered with a nod.

"AH~! A date~!" Oikawa exclaimed, clapping his hands in happiness.

"No! It's to study!"

"A study date, then~!"

"Not a date! Just… studying!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, blushing more than he intended.

"Iwaizumi-san has a date?" Yahaba asked from the other side of the changing-room.

"No I don't!"

"So lucky…" Kindaichi whispered.

"I'm telling you, I don't have a date!"

"But you wish it were one, right?" Hanamaki asked.

"Yes– I mean! No! Damn you all!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, ruffling his hair annoyingly.

The team chuckled and snorted at his embarrassed reactions.

When the weekend arrived, Iwaizumi was bothered in the middle of the morning, by the sudden presence of his neighbor and best friend who entered Hajime's bedroom as if he owned the place.

"Oi, knock before entering," he grumbled, turning around on his chair while Tooru sat on his bed.

"It'd make me waste time! And it's not like we're not used to go into each other's places. Unless you have things to hide from me, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked with a wink.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I still don't know where you hide your porn, it's annoying," he muttered thoughtfully.

"You don't need to find it."

"OH! So you _do_ have some!" He exclaimed cheerfully.

Growling, Hajime hid his embarrassment by turning around and continuing to scroll down the web page he was reading.

"So~ Iwa-chan~" Oikawa continued, standing up and looking around the bedroom to find if there was something different than usual – unfortunately, not, "What are you planning to wear this afternoon?"

Confused, Hajime frowned and spun his chair once again to look at his mischievous looking friend. The Ace simply shrugged and showed the outfit he was currently wearing. It didn't seem like much of a deal for him but Tooru turned pale and held his chest dramatically.

"You cannot be _serious!_ You cannot go on your study-date with Kiku-chan, wearing this… _this…!_ Whatever that is!"

"For the thousandth time, it's not a date. And who cares what I wear?" Hajime continued with a shrug.

"Kiku-chan does!" Oikawa exclaimed cheerfully.

Hajime preferred not answering while the Captain was already moving towards the young man's drawers. Opening it all and starting to look for whatever he'd deem suitable for a study-date.

"Don't make a mess, I cleaned this morning," Hajime scolded when he saw his clothes starting to look like messy balls of fabric rather than clothes, hanging a little bit everywhere.

"Don't you have anything a little more colorful? Something that wouldn't make you look like an angry and injured soldier?"

"I don't have anything else, and I _don't_ look like an angry and injured soldier."

But Tooru ignored him and opened another drawer, chuckling when he pulled out one of Hajime's boxers. He showed it to him with a huge grin, making the Ace blush in embarrassment.

" _Don't_ pull my underwear like that!" He exclaimed, grabbing one of his favorite boxers and folding it once again.

"Interesting choice," Tooru commented with a teasing grin.

"It was a gift from my cousin!" He exclaimed, putting the godzilla boxer back in its drawer.

"You _do_ know that the godzilla is right in front of the boxer and that in case of a little, um… heat~, it'd look like the gozilla is your–"

"If you finish your sentence, you're dead."

Instead of finishing the sentence, Oikawa tried to take another boxer to have a closer look. Hajime pushed close the drawer, almost cutting off the setter's fingers who startled. He glanced at his friend but Hajime was glaring.

"S-sorry, Iwa-chan?" Tooru hesitated.

The only answer he received was an annoyed huff while Hajime gathered his clothes and tried to fold and put some order back in his drawers. But as soon as he'd have a part folded, Tooru would take a shirt or something to have a look before grunting and having Hajime folding all over again.

"Are you done soon?" Hajime grumbled when he took another shirt that had gone into the 'angry and injured soldier' pile like every other clothe.

"The best you'll have today will be that," Oikawa said, showing the chosen outfit.

It was simple, and still in Hajime's style (he was glad Oikawa had not decided to give him some clothes for the day, he would have died) but he felt incredibly annoyed that Tooru would come in and decide for him.

"Wear that and Kiku-chan will… well, not fall into your arms because it looks awful for a date, but at least, you won't look quite as murderous or rebellious as you usually do."

"The only reason why I look murderous is because I have to handle you every single day…" Hajime grumbled.

"Iwa-chan! Just wear the clothes I have chosen for you!" Tooru exclaimed vehemently.

"Uuurh… all right… but at one condition!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, suddenly stricken by an idea.

It made his friend blink and tilt his head on a side. Hajime grinned, knowing he had Tooru trapped – or rather, willing to bend to his little condition.

A few hours later, dressed in the clothes Oikawa had chosen for him, Hajime waited in front of the train station, as planned, for Kiku to arrive. He couldn't help but glance at his outfit, wondering for the thousandth time already if he looked casual enough all the while cursing himself for thinking about something so petty. He wasn't Oikawa, he didn't care how he _looked_.

"S-sorry, I-I'm late!"

He turned around and his heart stopped. There was Akiyama Kiku and for the first time since knowing her, she wasn't wearing her uniform. And she was just as casually dressed as he was – which was a relief, neither of them was overdressed or had misinterpreted this non-date-study-date. She was wearing black pants and a green shirt with a light brown jacket.

"It's all right, I just arrived," he said with a smile.

They stood around each other awkwardly before he showed her the way to the library. She nodded hesitantly before going ahead, Hajime following her a few steps behind. He couldn't help but look at her figure from head to toe, his eyes lingering on her behind. He felt stupid but her pants was just tight enough to show her curves and it drove him mad. He blushed and focused on the back of the girl's head.

"Is he staring at her ass?" Hanamaki whispered to Oikawa and Matsukawa, all three hidden behind a light post – not hidden at all actually, especially not discreet with their black glasses that were supposedly making them look 'incognito'.

"She does have a nice ass though, can't blame him for that," Matsukawa answered before holding back a scream when both Makki and Oikawa elbowed him.

"For now, everything is going smoothly…" The setter murmured with a smile.

"Remind me how you convinced us to follow them on their non-date?" Hanamaki asked as they started following the couple in the library.

"To make sure Iwa-chan doesn't blow his chances right away! This date is a golden opportunity for them!"

"I thought it wasn't a date?" Mattsun asked.

"Also, they have a lot of golden opportunities – according to you," Makki added.

"Shhh!" Oikawa exclaimed when they entered the library.

They had lost the couple from their view but quickly found them, sitting at a table and taking notes from books. It quickly became boring though, watching them when nothing happening.

"Can we leave now?" Hanamaki asked, trying to have as many books as possible balanced on his head.

"No," Oikawa answered.

"Can we leave now?" Matsukawa asked, adding another book on the top of his friend's head.

"No."

"… Can we–"

"No. Ah!"

Hanamaki and Matsukawa immediately pulled away the pile of books and ran to Oikawa's sides to watch what was happening. Kiku had just gotten up and was walking towards some shelves to find another book.

"I am seriously getting bored. Nothing is going to happen, let's just go…" Hanamaki sighed.

"Ah, she can't reach the book," Oikawa remarked, ignoring his friend's request.

Kiku was jumping up to try to reach the book. Hajime seemed to notice it as well because he suddenly stood up. Before he could take a step towards the girl though, Kiku just decided to climb on the shelves, making sure not to step or damage any books. She grabbed the one she wanted and fell back on the ground, making sure it was the right one before walking back to a stunned, but proud looking Hajime who sat back at his chair.

"In conclusion, Iwaizumi has a crush on a rabbit. Can we leave now?" Matsukawa asked.

Oikawa whipped around, glaring at his friends.

"How old are you really?! I'm trying to ensure my friend's happiness! If you want to leave so badly, then go!"

"If we leave you alone, you're going to provoke drama," Makki answered seriously.

"Tch."

Oikawa shook his hair then leaned forward, still hidden behind his shelf, to look at the two. He froze and blinked when he only saw Kiku.

"Where is Iwa-chan?"

Before the other two could lean to check as well, a sudden threatening aura appeared behind the three. They startled and slowly turned around, seeing a murderous Iwaizumi standing there, with his arms crossed over his chest, fire surrounding him. Without a word, he gave a harsh nod towards the exit and they perfectly understood the message.

"W-we're leaving…" Oikawa agreed with a quick nod.

He went away, followed closely by Hanamaki and Matsukawa. They did not try to enter the library again.

Iwaizumi sighed and went back to sit in front of Akiyama who glanced at him quickly before continuing to take her notes. Almost immediately, he received a message on his phone and he scowled at the message Oikawa had sent him.

 **Invite her to eat an ice-cream when you're done!**

"I-is there something wrong?"

Hajime glanced up at Kiku who had noticed the way he had clenched his teeth and phone angrily.

"N-nothing…" He answered, putting his phone in his bag.

"… Was it… Oikawa-san…?" She asked hesitantly.

"H-how…?" He hesitated, blinking in disbelief.

A light smile appeared quickly on her face as she put down her pencil.

"You really look annoyed when… he does something… _Oikawa-ish_ … You just… looked annoyed right now. I… I concluded Oikawa-san had just sent you a message…" She answered sheepishly.

Hajime stared at her, lips falling open. He couldn't believe she knew him well enough to figure out Oikawa had just sent him a message. Moreover, he couldn't believe she had just invented a new word _'Oikawa-ish'._ It was perfect for all the silly and childish things his Captain always did.

Silence went on longer then, finally, he snorted. He quickly hid his smile and laugh, trying not to be too loud in the library.

" _O-Oikawa-ish_ … I love it…" He chuckled, laughing as lowly as possible.

Kiku seemed glad to see him smile and relaxed and she spoke up again:

"H-how long have you… been friend with… Oikawa-san?" She asked curiously.

Hajime stopped chuckling and his smile wavered a little. Once again, he wondered if she was one of his friend's fan to always talk about him. Not _always_ , but she seemed to notice Oikawa. It wouldn't be the first time Hajime would have a crush on a girl who only saw Oikawa, though…

"Erh… we've been friends… since forever? We're neighbors, we almost grew up together." He answered with a tight smile.

Kiku smiled more and leaned forward, as if sharing a secret:

"I-I've read that a friendship that… lasts for more than seven years, will last a lifetime. You'll spend a lifetime with Oikawa-san as friend… a lifetime of Oikawa-ish things…"

"I'm doomed then?" He joked with a huge smile to see her smiling.

She chuckled and nodded vividly, trying to remain discreet. Hajime cursed this library that forced them to be silent – he wanted to hear her laugh fully. Her real laugh, not a little chuckle hidden behind a hand and a book.

She's actually very funny.

Hajime glanced at all the notes they had gathered, knowing they had all the material necessary for their History paper. He thought back on Oikawa's Oikawa-ish message from earlier and, once again feeling really bold, he spoke up once again:

"Do you… uh… wanna go eat an ice-cream… or something?" He asked, flushing terribly.

Would it make this non-date-study-date an actual date? Or just a study-date? Or… whatever this day was?

Kiku glanced up at him, eyes wide, as if she couldn't believe what he was saying. Then, she glanced down, looking a little unease.

"I-I can't…" She murmured, fumbling with her necklace.

"Oh…"

Hajime tried hard not to feel disappointed but just as he was about to call it done for the day, she glanced up once again, attracting his green eyes at once.

"B-but… I-I'd love to d-drink something… I-if you d-don't mind… U-unless you want something to eat… b-but… um…"

Seeing her struggling, embarrassed to propose a drink, Hajime grinned, strangely happy and relieved to spend more time with her.

"A drink… would be great…" He said with a side smile.

She smiled at him and quietly, they put their notebooks and pencils back in their bags and put the books back in their shelves. Kiku was struggling to reach one but Hajime just walked behind her and took the book gently with a hand on her shoulder, putting it back on its shelf before they exited the library with little smiles.

"I think I'm going to cry…" Oikawa murmured when they watched from afar the sweet and quiet exchanges between the two.

"He just touched her shoulder, they're not married yet, no need to cry," Hanamaki teased with a snort.

"But! Iwa-chan _is…!_ He is being nice and gentle to a girl he has a crush on…!"

"They're going towards the park, should we follow them?" Matsukawa asked, already taking a step after the couple.

Oikawa was staring at the two but when he noticed the soft gaze and tender smile on Hajime's face while looking at Kiku…

"…No, I think they can handle the rest of the day on their own…" He decided, staring at them disappearing from view.

Surprised, his teammates blinked at what he had just said.

"Are you sure? I thought you wanted to ensure your _'best friend's happiness'?"_ Hanamaki asked.

"He doesn't need my help for that…" Oikawa said with a smile and closed eyes, "Now let's go! I want some ice-cream!" He exclaimed cheerfully, turning around while his two friends sighed but followed anyway.

Hajime and Kiku decided to go into a nearby park, taking drinks from a vending-machine and walking in silence alongside a little lake, on a path where some people were walking by. Some were families, some were couples and some others just were walking their dogs around. A child ran past them and tripped but before Hajime even had time to acknowledge what was happening, Kiku had run to the child and leaned down.

"Are you all right?" She asked the little boy who was already standing up.

"Yes! Thank you, onee-chan!" He exclaimed cheerfully before running off once again.

Kiku smiled and stood up, joined by Hajime who was observing her from the corner of his eye. They had spent only a few hours together, outside of school, and yet, he felt as if he had met a completely different person. Outside school, Kiku wasn't quite as shy and closed-off, she was barely stammering anymore while talking to him. She had made jokes. They now had jokes only the two of them could understand. She had showed how observant she was, how thoughtful of others she could be. How kind she _always_ was. Hajime was glad he had gotten to see these new sides of Kiku – joking, pleasant, just being herself… It was slow, but she was surely opening to him and for once, even if he was still panicked at the idea of crushing on her, he didn't mind it.

There was no way the rumors about Kiku were true. Hajime was now sure that whatever reason had driven everyone to think she was some sort of psychopath that went to the hospital for psychological treatment or whatever stupid rumors were going around – that was all they were. _Rumors_. Nothing else. Kiku was the kindest, warmest soul he had ever met.

They walked for a little while longer until, sensing his gaze on her for a while now, Kiku glanced back at Hajime. She took a deep breath before speaking up:

"My aunt."

"Uh?" He hesitated, not knowing if he had spaced out or something from the sudden change of subject.

"My aunt… works at the hospital some days of the week…" She continued, pulling some hair behind her ear nervously, "I-I am very close to… my aunt and uncle, s-so I always go to the hospital and have dinner with the two of them afterwards… If I only write my aunt's name, I get confused as to where I have to go, whether the hospital or the house… That's why… it's written everywhere in my organizer…"

Hajime stopped, feeling so incredibly stupid. _Of course_ it'd haunt Kiku's mind – he had read her organizer, seeing written everywhere _'hospital'_ while rumors that she was being insane were running around in the halls. _Of course_ she wouldn't want him to think her some madwoman.

"You… never asked a question about what you had read a-and… I'm grateful for that but…" Kiku hesitated, not quite knowing why she'd talk about that.

"S-so… you're not… sick?" Hajime asked hesitantly.

Kiku smiled, shaking her head.

"Unless shyness is a disease, I'm not physically sick," she answered happily.

He sighed in relief. He had started thinking that perhaps she was going to the hospital for a completely different reason than psychological treatment – he had been a little scared that the girl he was crushing on might be really sick or something. But she was all right, she was healthy.

"Thank goodness…" He sighed before catching himself and lifting up his hands, "I-I mean! I-I didn't think you were mad or anything! I knew you weren't! B-but… I was worried… after reading 'hospital' so many times…" He explained sheepishly.

Kiku smiled and once they were both relieved that the little misunderstanding that had been nagging on their minds was gone, they finished their walk around the little lake then Hajime walked her to the train station. It had been a good day and they both walked back home with smiles on their faces.

* * *

 _We learn a little more about Kiku adn she starts to open up! :)_

 _Next chapter: Beautiful Eyes_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	8. Beautiful Eyes

_I juste realized that the title of the fanfic and the one I hd put on every chapter is wrong... oh, damn it, I'll check it tomorrow... "_

 _Thank you to all who followed and favorited! :D_

 _ **Riomi-senpai** : I think that iwaizumi is just an amazing character for the sake of being amazing but the fanon that he's actually blushy and embrrased and awkward when in love makes him even more amazing~_

 _ **rheascarlet** : If I can save you from boredom then my job is done~ :D You can send letetrs to your seatmate! You might still get a good friend in the end! ;)_

 _ **deadlywhisper21** : It's all right, I'm glad we understood each other! :) I hope it won't stop you from enjoying the chapters! :)_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : Kiku will slowly open up and every time you might have a "I knew it!" feeling out of it! ;) Hajime will just keep feeling more and more frustrated about the fcat that people do'nt try to learn more about her and judge Kiku without getting to know her beforehand. And the cuteness will only increase~ (until thing get really, really serious between them because let's face it - Iwaizumi Hajime is one of the sexiest characters of Haikyuu and I'd be damned if I wouldn't use it to its fullest)_

 _ **Viet Devil** : But I love turning people into giggly, happy, squealing messes~ :D Aaaww, I love you too! :D I hope you'll love the rest of the story as well! ;D_

 _ **Lili** : Adorable, cuteness - these are the two defining words of their relationship~ It's so calm and quiet and relaxing to write compared to Sowlmates! XD Oikawa is definitely the team's mother who covers his children with too much, unwanted attention but he's too oblivious to realize that. We love him for that, tho (and loooooots of other reasons! ;D)._

 _ **PaintCat** : It makes me so happy when readers tell me that one of my chapter has made their day~ :D_

 _ **Shy guest** : I was screaming writing it as well~! ;) There will be some tiny, tiny angst but it'll be mostly smothered by the overall cuteness and love so...~_

 _ **FanFictionAddiction4EVER** : Waaah~ Do I love it when readers tell me such sweet things~! :D Unlike Sowlmate and Ayakou, this fanfic will be quiet, without much drama, and Kijime will have a very healthy relationship! :)_

 _ **Yuuki no Yuki** : It's true for the doctor appointment - it's the best canon explanation but it still feels a bit weird! x) I'm glad you like this story! :D_

 _ **ella-sirius** : I'm so happy someone can relate to Kiku - I am shy and socially awkward myself but not to this point so I hope I'm not overdoing it... ^^" She'll slowly get out of her shell, don't worry~! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER VIII : Beautiful Eyes

" _Nervousness made her feel nauseous, almost like she had two hearts frantically beating in her chest, instead of one."_

― **Caroline Hanson, Love is Darkness**

" _I know. I'm very hard to talk to. I realize that."_

— **J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye.**

" _When my eyes meet his gaze as we're sitting here staring at each other, time stops. Those eyes are piercing mine, and I can swear at this moment he senses the real me. The one without the attitude, without the facade[...]"_

― **Simone Elkeles, Perfect Chemistry**

"And I'll conclude the paper with this last part." Iwaizumi said, pointing at the last paragraph of Kiku and his' paper.

"Ok," she answered with a nod.

"Who starts though? Should I… uh…" He hesitated, going back on the introduction.

"…I… I'd want to, if… it's all right with you?" Kiku said, flushing and fumbling her fingers.

Hajime was surprised she'd volunteer to speak up first, considering how shy she was.

"I don't mind but… will you be all right?" He asked hesitantly.

"I-I should be…" She answered with a little smile, "I want to start talking… Once I've started talking, I'm all right. I have… lots of habits to control my nervousness. Like staring at a fixed point above people's heads to not look into their eyes directly, or listening to music before, it helps me relax…"

A little stunned by her courage of deciding to speak up in front of class, Hajime only nodded. They both moved away from each other, a little half-heartedly, to go back against their seats. They were done discussing about their paper and they'd practice talking about it to be in a more realistic situation.

12\. She listens to music to relax.

13\. She's braver than appearances led to believe.

Hajime glanced at his left, tempted to tell Kiku she wasn't hesitating anymore while talking to him, not much at least, but he didn't dare say anything and focused on the practice he'd have later. Just before practice, because they had some time, he convinced Oikawa to ask the volleyball team to listen to his and Kiku's work so they'd give their opinions – he didn't really care about it but Kiku had insisted on practicing in front of people and they didn't have anyone else but the team. Hajime's teammates complied more easily than he would have expected and they all sat in the changing-room and looked up at the two. Thinking back on it, It _was_ the condition Iwaizumi had asked Oikawa in exchange for wearing the clothes he had chosen the other day after all – to convince the team to listen to Kiku and him practicing for their paper.

Oikawa seemed incredibly eager to listen (as well as Kindaichi for some unknown reason?) and despite Makki and Mattsun's grins, they started easily. Kiku hesitated a little at first but as soon as she had started, it went smoothly.

"That was incredible! So great!" Oikawa exclaimed, clapping his hands happily while the rest of the volleyball team just sighed at their Captain's eccentricity.

"Don't exaggerate, it's just a History paper…" Iwaizumi answered, shaking his head.

"But Kiku-chan has trouble speaking up in front of crowds, right? It went so well! You'll do wonderful Thursday, I'm sure!" Tooru added, turning towards Kiku.

She startled at the mention of her name and nervousness but nodded nevertheless. She glanced awkwardly before swallowing.

"I… I should go… Y-you have p-practice…" She said, already turning around.

"You don't have club on Tuesday, right?" Iwaizumi asked, accompanying the girl outside the changing-room.

He heard some noise coming from it and he noticed the team peaking at them from the doorway, the third-years sending him thumbs-up in encouragement. Iwaizumi glared at them but appeared innocent as soon as Kiku looked up at him – she hadn't noticed the team staring at them yet.

"N-no," she said with a smile, glad he had noticed such a thing about her.

Hjaime hesitated, hiding his nervousness by putting his hands in his pockets – he didn't want Kiku to see that he was clenching his fists and get the wrong idea.

"Um… I… uh…" He hesitated.

"Iwa-chan, fight!" Oikawa told him from afar.

Kiku blinked adorably upon hearing Oikawa's voice but when she tried to glance at the Captain, Iwaizumi jumped in front of her, hiding the view of the volleyball team peaking at them. He flushed brightly after such an action and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, his entire body stiff.

"I've always wanted to ask you! W-what's your club? Literature? Calligraphy or… uh, something…?" He hesitated, voice louder than intended out of embarrassment.

Curious as well, the volleyball team stopped snickering to listen to Kiku's quiet voice. She smiled at Iwaizumi before answering:

"Cheer-leading club."

Hajime blinked. The rest of the team as well, leaning a little more forward because they weren't sure they had heard well.

"What?"

"I'm part of the cheer-leading club," Kiku said with a smile.

His lips opened in shock because it was the last club he would have expected the shy, quiet, Akiyama Kiku to participate in but before he could react, the volleyball club did the job for him.

"The what club?!"

"This girl?!"

"What!"

Kiku and Hajime heard some screams followed by a loud sound. They turned around and saw the boys all piled up at the doorway – the shock had made Makki and Kindaichi trip, which had made some others lose their balance as well and they all fell on top of Oikawa. Now they were just a moaning pile – Oikawa Tooru probably dead under the weight of all of his teammates (he wasn't moving or talking anymore)

Makki immediately got up once again and ran to Iwaizumi and Kiku, grabbing the girl's shoulders with wide eyes – he was followed by Mattsun and the rest of the volleyball club (except Oikawa who was still down, Kindaichi trying to find out if he was still alive)

"Wait, wait, wait! _You!_ You do _cheering_ club?! Since when?!" Hanamaki shouted, not believing that his neighbor could possibly be part of such a club considering how shy she was.

Undisturbed by his rough handling, she only blinked with a half, embarrassed smile.

"Since always? Since Middle-school?" She answered in a quiet voice.

"B-b-but!"

"Oi! Hanamaki! Let her go!" Iwaizumi growled pushing away his teammate.

"I knew you were doing gymnastics, but I didn't know you were cheering!" Makki exclaimed, still not wrapping his mind around this idea.

"There are a lot of things… you don't know…" Kiku answered with a shrug.

Hanamaki's lips fell open in incredulity at her answer while Hajime huffed in a mix of pride from his girl's answer and annoyance to see the light-haired boy so revolted by it all.

"Have a good practice…" Kiku added with a bow to the team before turning around and leaving.

"Ah, wait!" Iwaizumi called but she was already descending the stairs and disappearing.

His shoulders slumped and he glanced angrily at his teammates who all startled – except Oikawa who was just arriving, followed by a worried-looking Kindaichi.

"Kiku-chan just left…?" He asked, still a little sore from his fall and receiving all of the team on him.

"I wanted to ask her more…" Iwaizumi muttered to himself.

"She's part of the cheering club? What a surprise…" Tooru answered with wide eyes.

"I didn't know we even _had_ a cheer leaders club…" Mattsun said with his usual lazy demeanor.

"We do, but it's a rather small one and every time we have the Inter-High, the cheerleaders have their own competition. That's why they never come to our tournaments." Yahaba answered.

"How do you know that, you?"

"Girls in short skirts with poms." Yahaba said with a determined expression.

The others rolled their eyes, no doubt that their second setter had watched in secrecy some of the cheerleaders' practice…

"If you knew, why didn't you say so about Akiyama-san? Why were you so surprised, Yahaba-san?" Kindaichi asked curiously.

"I thought she looked familiar but I hadn't recognized her… Perhaps I hadn't noticed her? I don't know?" He answered with a shrug.

"Why would this girl do cheerleading out of every possible club to be? She's shy and quiet, she hates being watched by crowds… Cheerleading is the complete opposite…" Makki continued.

"You're still annoyed because you didn't know about it until now and she's your neighbor." Mattsun commented.

Hanamaki huffed annoyingly but didn't deny it.

"Oi! What are you doing? Practice is about to start!" Coach Mizoguchi shouted from down the stairs.

After some screams and running, the team all forgot about the accident and they went to practice as they always did. Only Iwaizumi was still thinking about Kiku's revelation.

14\. She's full of surprises…

 _On Thursday…_

Finally. The fateful day had arrived.

Iwaizumi wasn't usually nervous about speaking up in class for his papers or works, but Akiyama definitely was and her nervousness was nagging on him. He wasn't scared to mess up – he was scared _Kiku_ would be frozen in fear or something, that she wouldn't be able to speak up at all… He kept repeating to himself she'd be all right but the longer time went by, the more nervous she grew.

History class was absolutely awful. They were the third group to pass and every pairing went outside the classroom to revise one last time their notes before entering.

"Iwaizumi-kun and Akiyama-san, you get ready, you'll be next in a few minutes," the teacher said.

The two got up, took their papers then went outside the class to read their notes one last time.

Kiku tried reading but it made her stomach turn into a knot and she was unable to focus on the words written, only tried to get over her nervousness. She wasn't usually such a wreck – she always managed to get over it but her biggest fear was to mess up and that Iwaizumi would end up with a bad grade _because of her_ … What if he _hated_ her after that? She wouldn't bear it, he was so nice with her, she didn't want to mess up for Iwaizumi-san…

Seeing that she was almost shaking and pale, a little sweaty from nerves, Iwaizumi hesitated, not knowing how to encourage her.

"Hey." He said, but his voice was harsher than intended.

He felt guilty when Kiku startled and glanced up at him almost fearfully – he didn't understand why she was so nervous when she had been all right in front of the volleyball members…

"Relax, it'll be all right…" He told her with an awkward pat on the shoulder.

He felt stupid for doing that and apparently, it didn't help Kiku much. She nodded before going back to muttering to herself, hands trembling around her papers. Hajime's lips turned into a pout and he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find a solution to calm her down before they'd enter the class – otherwise, this presentation would turn into a _disaster_.

" _Listening to music helps me relax…"_ She had told him the other day.

"Ah!" He exclaimed, making the girl glance at him curiously.

Iwaizumi suddenly started patting his jacket and pockets, diving his hands in every pocket. She watched him curiously, not understanding what he was looking for. Suddenly, he triumphantly took out his ipod, the headphones almost slapping him from the abruptness with which he had taken it out of his jacket pocket.

Kiku's eyes widened as he took a step towards her to handle him the ipod but the door slid open and they both jumped.

"Your turn, Iwaizumi-kun, Akiyama-san," The teacher said with a nod towards the blackboard.

They both remained standing there and the young man glanced at the girl who swallowed before taking a step forward. She clutched tightly her papers as she made her way towards the class platform. Iwaizumi followed her in silence, glancing at her nervously. He wrote the title of their work then turned towards Kiku, probably a little worriedly, but she didn't seem to notice.

The entire class was silent and observing them but if some were asleep, most were watching impatiently, waiting for the shy girl to stumble on her words.

"So lame…" Someone whispered.

"Poor Iwaizumi-san…" Another snorted.

Iwaizumi glared at the class and everyone turned silent at his deadly gaze but Kiku had already heard everything. She seemed even more disturbed than before.

"Go ahead," The teacher finally said, not having noticed anything from his students.

Hajime turned back towards Kiku, she was the one to start. Her lips opened and closed several times, eyes fixed on the notes. Her blemish complexion was now bright red from embarrassment at trying to speak up. She took a shaky breath in, about to speak when a voice rose.

"Get started already! We don't have all day!"

"Oi, silence!" The teacher exclaimed, glaring at the impetuous student.

Kiku seemed to close on herself, trying to hide herself behind her papers, her hair and lifting up her shoulders, as if it'd make her disappear.

Hajime watched her worriedly, not knowing whether or not he should intervene… She was breathing a little hard and finally, the young man turned towards the class, speaking up with a firm voice:

"We'll talk about the samurai of the Edo Era. The Edo period or Tokugawa period is the period between 1603 and 1868 in the history of Japan, when Japanese society was under the rule of the Tokugawa shogunate and…"

He continued, talking for all of Kiku's part.

After realizing he had taken the responsibility of speaking instead of her, she lowered her head, keeping her face hidden behind her paper, trying to focus on the words that were going by and by. She felt tears of helplessness, shame and disappointment fill her eyes. She had wanted to start talking so that people would feel less bored when they'd get to the part with the samurai – also, Hajime loved this part, it was his favorite part. It was obvious he had wanted to talk about it but now… because she had been unable to find the voice to speak in time, he was giving it up to her.

Hajime kept glancing at Kiku, trying to make her understand she'd have to speak soon but she didn't seem well at all… Worry made his voice stammer a few times and it made some people grin and chuckle – he didn't care, but he saw from the corner of his eyes Kiku's shoulders shaking even more at that.

 _Can't you all shut up?! Can't you all stop making fun of her and laugh?!_ He thought to himself, frowning more and more at his classmates who didn't seem to realize what he was trying to tell them.

He stopped talking when he reached the end of the part and looked over at Kiku desperately. He saw her open her lips but when no sound came out at first, he swallowed hard.

The teacher looked up and several students started whispering, amusement obvious in their voice.

Kiku was still taking in some air to speak when Hajime took a decision – better end this before she'd collapse. He opened his lips but an idea struck him. He blinked down at the teacher's desk that was hiding both Kiku and his' legs from view…

 _I am so going to get in trouble for that_ … He thought to himself.

He took a step towards Kiku and put a hand on her shoulder.

"You're ok, Akiyama? San…" He added awkwardly when he noticed he had forgotten the honorific.

She barely reacted but the whispers intensified. Kiku swallowed hard then lowered the papers to speak up.

But Iwaizumi was already executing his plan: still hidden by the desk, he lightly kicked the back of her knee with his foot. The girl instantly gasped and fell backwards. He caught her in his arms and instantly picked her up. Kiku was too stunned to react, eyes wide open and cheeks just as red as before.

"Sensei, Akiyama-san doesn't seem well! I'll take her to the infirmary!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, already walking towards the door with the girl in his arms.

The teacher blinked, nodding in agreement when he saw the sweaty and pale face of the girl – also, it looked like she had almost fainted just now, right?

The rest of the class erupted in excited whispers because it was obvious this wasn't the real reason Iwaizumi was taking her away but he ignored their whispers.

It was only once away from the classroom, bathed in the quietness of the hall, that he sighed, Kiku watching him with wide eyes.

"…I-I can… walk on my own…" She murmured, trying to get him to let go.

"No, if someone sees us we need to have a good excuse for missing class." He answered, looking straight ahead.

"…I-I'm t-too heavy… y-you shouldn't…"

"Uh?!" He exclaimed, finally looking back at her.

She startled in his arms and he huffed annoyingly:

"Don't underestimate me! I am perfectly capable of carrying you! If I can carry Oikawa, Matsukawa _and_ Hanamaki in the same time, you're not heavy at all!" He exclaimed before adding in a low, grumbling voice, "Don't say stuff like that about you… you're great the way you are…"

Stunned by his behavior, Kiku watched him with wide, awed eyes. He had tried helping her relax by attempting to make her listen to music, he had taken her part for the paper to give her time to be ready, he had made her fall in his arms just so she'd escape facing the class and now, he was… saying such nice things… Though, she was a little curious about how he had ended up carrying all three of his teammates in the same time?

Blushing, she lowered her head and her fingers clenched a little tightly the young man's shoulder, inching just a little bit closer to him.

Noticing this gesture Hajime stiffened and almost dropped her, suddenly incredibly nervous, but if his steps stumbled a little, Kiku didn't notice a thing. He held his breath, blush creeping his cheeks as well.

"Don't… listen to what others say…" He breathed.

She glanced up at him and his cheeks turned even redder. He avoided her gaze, hoping she wouldn't notice how fast his heart was beating.

"Do whatever you want, ignore their insults and laughs… It's not worth it." He added in a low voice.

Kiku didn't answer right away but they arrived at the infirmary. Iwaizumi put down Kiku on a bed, explaining to the nurse that she had been feeling unwell for a presentation in class, he said it was probably nerves and being tired but the kind nurse still examined the girl.

"You have a little fever, Kiku-chan, but after some rest, you'll be all right!" She finally said.

"Incredible, you were so nervous you got a fever…" Iwaizumi murmured, blinking in astonishment.

"I'll leave her in your care, Iwaizumi-kun!" The nurse said before leaving the two alone and pulling at the curtain.

He stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets while Kiku remained sitting on the side of the bed, looking down and fumbling her fingers nervously. When he heard a sniff from her, his eyes widened and he looked over, seeing her crying as silently as possible.

"Wah! Ah! Uh!" He exclaimed, waving his hands around awkwardly because _what was he supposed to do to comfort a crying girl…?!,_ "D-don't cry! Akiyama! Don-don't cry!"

"I-I'm s-sorry…!" She hiccuped, wiping away her tears, making the young man freeze in distress, "I-If I weren't so s-shy…!"

"I-it's all right… the teacher believed me, and the nurse said you had a fever… we'll just have to try again another time…" He said, pouting because he wasn't sure it was any way to comfort her.

He patted his pockets just like he had earlier, attracting the girl's attention on him. Then, finally, he took out a handkerchief and approached her, handing it nervously.

"T-thank you…" She murmured after staring at him for a short moment.

She took it and wiped calmly her nose and eyes, not noticing that Iwaizumi was red in the ears. Once she was calmed down, he looked back at her.

"W-why did you do that earlier…?" She asked hesitantly, looking saddened.

"Uh?"

"…When you hit the back of my knees?"

"I didn't hurt you, did I?!" He panicked instantly.

"N-no… b-but…"

Her shoulders slumped and she sighed heavily.

"I had been about to talk when you did…" She murmured guiltily.

"S-sorry about that…" He answered, just as guilty because he had acted just she had gathered the courage to speak up.

"I'm really sorry you had to go through so much because of me… I'm not usually that… that terrible at speaking – well, I am actually… b-but, the idea of ruining your grade j-just…"

She closed her eyes and Iwaizumi finally understood why she had been even more nervous than usual: she didn't want his grade to go down because of her shyness. He sighed with a little smile, feeling reassured that it wasn't entirely because of their classmates and her nerves…

"Hey, Akiyama…" He started, taking a step forward.

He knelt on the floor in front of her so they'd be able to face each other, absentmindedly, he put a hand on her thigh. Kiku's eyes widened and she blushed but she looked right into Hajime's eyes and somehow… she didn't feel scared anymore… She felt peaceful.

"Don't worry about that, ok? Just… make sure you enjoy what you're talking about, just like when we studied and practiced, ok?" He said with a warm voice and smile.

Kiku looked right into his eyes, not feeling nervous anymore, her entire body relaxing. She had always thought his eyes were dark but looking closely, they were a beautiful shade of gray-green…

Hajime was glad he was lower than her because he was able to see her face completely – she wasn't hidden by her hair and it made her big, dark-blue eyes so much more beautiful… She looked so pretty…

"Your eyes are beautiful…" She whispered in awe.

"Eh?" He hesitated, blushing.

"Eh?" She repeated, blushing as well.

They stiffened and moved away from each other suddenly, blushing and trying to handle the way their hearts beat incredibly fast, almost getting them out of breath. While Hajime was looking as far as possible from her, pretty sure _he_ was the one with a fever now, Kiku put a hand on her beating heart. She felt the way it pulsed frenetically against her chest, as if trying to jump out of it and reach for Hajime's beautiful eyes…

"S-sorry…" She murmured finally when the awkward silence went longer, "I-it just… I-I feel v-very relaxed… when I look at your… eyes…"

"I-I'll go ahead…" He muttered without looking in her direction.

She watched him leave a little sadly, feeling guilty because she knew he was leaving because of her comment.

Hajime covered his mouth with his hand, his entire body feeling hot and awkward. He was blushing so much and his heart was beating so hard that he was about to collapse from overheating… His thoughts were messy and numb but Kiku's words kept repeating in his mind.

" _Your eyes are beautiful…"_

15\. She gets a fever when she's too nervous.

16\. She makes _me_ feel feverish.

17\. She thinks my eyes are beautiful…

Despite still hidden by his hand, the corners of his lips quirked upwards and he smiled softly, feeling all happy and giddy.

Once Kiku felt better, they walked back to class, and later, they went to apologize to their History teacher who talked with the two of them in the teachers' room.

"I learned about your situation, Akiyama-san," he started, arms crossed over his chest, "Do you two want to present your paper during a break? Before your club activities? This way there won't be anyone to see."

Overjoyed that their teacher had believed the whole 'she's feeling unwell' play from earlier _and_ that he was compliant enough to even give them a great opportunity to go without having to be in front of the entire class, Hajime grinned, turning excitedly towards Kiku but she was looking down.

"Akiyama?" He called curiously, tilting his head on a side.

"T-thank you, sir b-but…" Kiku started, biting her lower lip before looking up at the History teacher, "B-but I'd like to go in front of everyone… I-it wouldn't be fair if we were… the only ones to have a privileged session simply because of my shyness…"

Surprised, the teacher blinked before smiling.

"Well, well, if you think you can handle it, I'll let you participate tomorrow. You'll be the first group, though. How is that for you two?" He asked, turning towards Iwaizumi who nodded as well.

He was really shaken by Kiku's decision but he'd respect it, if she felt like she could do it. Once it was settled, they were about to leave the teachers' room right as Coach Irihata entered the room.

"Hello, coach," Iwaizumi saluted with a little bow.

He nodded back, Kiku bowing lightly before hurrying behind Iwaizumi and grabbing his sleeve as they exited the room. Blinking, Irihata watched them leave curiously.

"Oh?"

The next day, Iwaizumi glanced nervously at Kiku, but she didn't seem quite as nervous as the day before – she was still trembling and a little pale, though. No doubt that if she didn't manage to speak quickly, she'd get in a state as terrible as the day before…

"You can start," The teacher said with a nod.

The class was as smirking and whispering as the day before. Hajime kept glancing between Kiku and their classmates, wondering if he should start like the day before – but she hadn't liked it much…

" _I feel v-very relaxed… when I look at your… eyes…"_

Hajime's eyes widened slightly and he leaned slightly closer to Kiku, lifting up his notes to hide his face from anyone else.

"Oi, Kiku…" He whispered, voice heard only by the girl.

Surprised he'd call her, and by her first name, she looked up, meeting his beautiful green-gray eyes…

"Look in my eyes, relax…" He continued.

Her night-blue eyes widened and her lips trembled, cheeks flushed. She looked right into Hajime's eyes, just as he had just said, her shoulders going down instantly.

She still heard her heartbeat resonating, but it wasn't the nerve-wrecking beating against her temples that turned her stomach into a knot that didn't let her breath and made her nauseous. It was relaxing, like a peaceful lullaby… When Kiku looked into Hajime's eyes, she felt at peace.

"W-we'll talk about the samurai of the Edo Era a-also called t-the Tokugawa period…" She started in a little voice.

Hajime grinned and she smiled a little as well, realizing that she didn't feel nervous anymore. Not to the point of being unable to talk. A little more confident, she continued, her eyes sparkling like stars in a nighty sky.

"I-it's the period between 1603 and 1868, when Japanese society was under the rule of the Tokugawa shogunate and…"

Feeling ridiculously proud, Hajime grinned happily and nodded in encouragement, still hidden by his notes. Kiku grinned and turned towards the class, continuing to talk without any trouble despite a few hesitation here and there. She was almost bouncing in pride to have overcome her fear thanks to Hajime and the latter lowered his notes, smiling happily. When it was his turn to talk, she glanced at him and the gaze and smile they shared… they were the only ones to understand its meaning.

* * *

 _I hope I overdid it and you still enjoyed this chapter~ Iwaizumi is an actual knight in shining armour._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	9. Comfort

_Thank yo all for your favorites and follows! I'm sorry I'm not posting much but I don't really feel in a fluffy mood so it's hard to write Kijime... "_

 _ **alldogsarecute** : Thank YOU for your review! If it feels real then that's great! :D_

 _ **Cooliceprincess** : I'm not sure you'll feel very giddy reading this chapter, but the next one will make up for it, I swear! :)_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : Iwaizumi is the most underrated boyfriend material of the fandom. Everyone always obssesses over the nice guuys, the hot guys, but Iwaizumi? OK, he's hot. But he must be so awkward but so sweet! We nly know him as a volleyball player and in his friendship with the team, but he is already so protective for all of them - especially Oikawa but it's obvious considering they're childhood friends. And Iwaizumi's eyes ARE beautiful! Green-grey... kyaaaaa! /_

 _ **rheascarlet** : If I manage to make all three stories with different atmospheres then I'm glad, though I'm not sure in this case that people will like all three. But not everyone can love evreything, right? ^^" It IS a coincidence I only write about Aces! XD At first, it was just Asahi, then, I had several ideas for seevral characters and I decided to write Bokuto. And in theory Kuroo or Oikawa should have been next, but for Kuroo - it's going to be a darker story - and for Oikawa - still mostly undecided because I have too many ideas and I can't decide on one plot... or OC - so I really wanted some fluff as relief from the angst of Sowlmate and my others fanfics (publishde here or not) which usually are not as cute and innocent as Kijime. Honestly, THIS fanfic is like an experimentation for me - can I write a story which is 75% fluff contrary to my usual 75% angst? Only time shall tell. As for Akaashi... I HAVE thought about his love life - but I didn't really think about writing an entire story for him... And Kenma... even if he's adorable, I can't really imagine him falling in love. But if I DO write a story about Kenma... it'll be fluffy too. I don't know honestly. Apart from Kuroo and Oikawa, I'm not sure which one I could write about next - maybe Aone or Futakuchi? Another Karasuno boy? Kageyama is an interesting character but I don't know... I'm open to suggestions! But it doesn't mean I WILL write something... ^^"_

 _ **Ryohei S** : I'm glad you like the story! :D_

 _ **Guest** : I hope the chapter won't be disappointing!_

 _ **Lili** : Soon enough, everyone will be like Oikawa because Kijime are adorable._

 _ **PaintCat** : I might overdo it again this chapter for different reasons! XD It'd be interesting to see in all the setter-Ace duos which is an angel and which is a demon: Iwaizumi is an angel, Oikawa a demon; Kageyama demon, Hinata angel; Bokuto angel and Akaashi demon! Suga angel and Asahi... wait... uuuuh... angel... or is Suga actually a demon hidng behind sweet smiles? Naaah... but what if...? I DONT KNOW! Good job, now I'm confused and I'll spend the next 72h wondering whether Suga is an angel or a demon in hiding!_

 _ **Shy guest :** Your review made me so happy~ I absolutely love the nickname creampuff for Hanamaki and I might use it in the story becaus eit's perfect! XD_

 _ **FanFictionAddiction4EVER** : I usually WRITE stories with tons of dramas - here the angst is only in the past for the most part! ;) I'll try my heardest to make character development not out of angst, but out of pure love and fluff~_

 _ **HaPPy2901** : Waaaah! Thanks for all of your reviews! XD I udnerstand multitasking - you read lots of fanfics, I write lots of them. I don't know how I keep up hoenstly... I wonder how far you got on Sowlmate cnosidering the aamount of chapters but I won't be too impatient despite how much development the last chapters had. Personally the main reason why I love Aoba Jousai it's for their absolute trust and dorkiness for each other - same for Fukurodani in a way but we didnt really see Fukurodani competing or being serious - which is the case for AJ. We saw AJ in rpactice, practice match, official match, revenge match... it's all making them sooooo much more complete than other teams (other tha Karasuno but that's the main team so it's obvious) Oikawa is such an incredible and interesting characters and it's bringing out the best out of the other characters as well (I just realized that Oikawa, whether as a setter, or simply as a character, was just the sort of characters to bring out the best of other characters no matter what! whether it's for the plot/story/character development or simpl for the characters being themselves around him) Kiku and Hajime will have lots of tiny moments that will seem insignificant for outsiders (Oikaawa, Hanamki, etc.) but it will SO important for them as a couple. Oikawa DOES know a few secrets about Kiku but it was thanks to his investigation AFTER deciding to push Iwaizumi and Kiku together so... I am not shipping IwaOi because I think they act like best friends/siblings (like most of the characters that people ship together, honestly) but because Oikawa is so important for Iwaizumi (and the other way around because BEST FRIENDS CHILDHOOD FRIENDS) their friendship definitely has consequences on the other relationships they have with others (friends, families, lovers, etc.) And as for Iwaizumi - he has a crush on Kiku, she reminds him in certain points (and up to this point, it's only the demon look) about Oikawa, but that's it. Iwaizumi wasn't attracted to her BECAUSE she reminded him of Oikawa - on the contrary, if she had reminded him of Oikawa from the beginning, he would have run off because he wouldn't be able to deal with a second version of Oikawa. As for Kiku being carried by Iwaizumi - Oikawa and the team know about it but they know the 'official' version "Kiku didn't feel well and collapsed" (even if Oikawa probably has a good idea on what really happened but he wouldn't bring it up to further embarass his friend, he knows his boundaries)_

 _: I'm so happy you read both Sowlmate and this story and love them both! I'm really impatient to reach the moemnt when I'll bring Ayaka into THIS one! ;) (accompanied with a certain someone :D)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET WORDS

CHAPTER IX : Comfort

" _Sometimes, all you had to do was exist in order to be someone's saviour."_

— **Keigo Higashino**

" _One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered."_

― **Michael J. Fox**

" _Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home."_

― **Edith Sitwell**

Hajime was thinking about Kiku when the sounds in the classroom became too loud to his taste. He glanced around and realized that if a few students had exited the classroom, most were discussing and chuckling. He looked at them a little curiously when they started pulling some stuff from their school bags – mostly bags of… was that flour?

"Hurry up before she comes back!" Someone exclaimed with a laugh.

Most of Hajime's classmates seemed just as confused as him about whatever was going on but at least half a dozen of students were working for some sort of prank.

Standing on a chair, a boy put a complicated system above the sliding door with a bag of flour. It was opened and on some sort of dangerous balance – as soon as someone would open or close the door, it'd fall on the poor victim.

Iwaizumi decided to ignore it all – he had no part in it – but he had a bad feeling he couldn't quite let go of.

"Oi, what are you doing?" He asked loudly, frowning lightly.

The group of students who had organized everything stopped chuckling to themselves and turned, a little sheepishly, towards the volleyball Vice-Captain.

"I-Iwaizumi-san…" Minami, a boy who respected Iwaizumi, murmured a little worriedly.

"We're just going to play a prank!" Fujioka Masami exclaimed, sitting on a desk.

"Against who?"

Fujioka snorted with a cold smile, shrugging nonchalantly.

"The black sheep of the class, who else? Akiyama Kiku!"

Iwaizumi's blood ran cold and he stood up suddenly, hands tightening in fists.

" _What?"_ He breathed angrily.

But Fujioka didn't seem to realize that the Ace was now furiously staring at the back of her head. A few boys who were helping her out in her prank glanced worriedly at their hero.

"She always bribes teachers by offering them cakes from her parents – it's time to teach her a lesson. Everyone licks her feet just because she's weird and insane, I'm tired of seeing her receiving a different treatment than us!" Fujioka exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest, "Also, she's just plain _annoying!_ She's such a pain!" She huffed disdainfully.

Several students seemed to agree with her – until they met Hajime's furious eyes. He glared at the bitch who thought she was the queen of the third-years and opened his lips to yell at her to take off the flour from the door. But before he could say a thing, the door slid open and the bag of flour fell down.

Everyone turned towards the shocked squeal of Akiyama Kiku when she had walked through the door. She was now frozen, her hair and clothes covered in white powder, the almost empty bag now at her feet.

The eyes of everyone widened and the group of bullies suddenly exploded in laugh. Some of the non-involved students couldn't help but chuckle as well, trying to hide their smiles without success. The only ones who weren't smiling or laughing were Iwaizumi and Akiyama.

Hajime was staring with wide, shocked eyes at the trembling girl. If only he had reacted faster, if only he had taken the bag of flour off before she'd enter the classroom again…

Kiku, who had been frozen in shock, upon hearing their laughs, felt the weight of the realization that the students had made it all happen on purpose… the sounds were like knives biting her heart and flesh. Her eyes stung and she lowered her head, trying to hold back the tears but it only made her body tremble.

"Is she going to cry?! I can't believe it! She's such a baby! A crybaby!"

"Wah! So lame!"

"How old is she even?!"

Kiku's hands covered her face. She wanted to run away but her legs didn't move, the only sound she could hear was the others' laughs.

Iwaizumi glanced between the group of horrid teenagers and the fragile girl crying, he wanted to go to Kiku for comfort but he also wanted to shout at these idiots and throw them out the windows for being so cruel.

"Kiku-chan~!" Fujioka exclaimed, standing on her feet and taking a box of eggs that had been hidden behind her, "Tell me~ With flour, what else do you add to bake cake? Gross, sickening cakes!"

"Oi! Stop it!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, taking a step forward.

But they either didn't hear him from their loud laughs or completely ignored him.

Several continued laughing but some looked just plain uncomfortable seeing the bullying now. Still, Fujioka and her group of assholes just took a few eggs in their hands and aimed at Kiku who wasn't moving.

The girl jumped when she received an egg against her arm, and another on her leg.

Fujioka aimed another egg at the girl but it wasn't Kiku it hit. Masami squealed in sudden fear and panic.

Kiku heard the egg breaking but didn't feel it hit her body. That was when she looked up hesitantly with wide eyes but she couldn't see any of the bullies. She was protected by Iwaizumi who was standing in front of her, keeping her safe from any more projectile. He had received an egg straight in the chest but didn't care, he just glared at his infuriating classmates, his blood boiling.

"Oi… what do you think you're doing, you bastards…?!" He hissed.

The students who had not been involved in this bullying looked at the scene with wide, slightly frightened eyes, in fear that it'd turn into a fight. The half-dozen of bullies now looked pale and about to collapse just looking in the direction of the vicious-looking Vice-Captain. Iwaizumi Hajime was known, not just as a role model for pretty much every boy in the high-school, but also as the strongest in the entire school. No one wanted a beating from him.

"I-it's just a little joke, a prank…! Iwaizumi-san…" A boy said sheepishly, feeling sweat dripping at the back of his neck.

"It's not like anyone is hurt or anything…"

"Y-yeah, i-it was just for fun… to laugh a little bit, all together…"

Iwaizumi stared at them, looking like he was surrounded by flames directly from hell. His eyes were blazing from rage to see the low level of his classmates who would go as far as bullying an innocent girl 'for fun'…

"For _fun…?_ To _laugh…?_ " He repeated coldly.

He took a few steps forward, two boys stepping back and hitting the desks until Hajime arrived at the level of Fujioka who tried to step away – but she was stuck by the desk. She looked down anxiously, afraid of what the man would do to her.

Hajime reached for the box of eggs then took a few in his hands.

"If it's for _fun_ , you won't mind it if _I_ have fun as well then?" He continued darkly.

No one breathed a word, the atmosphere heavy with tension. Hajime pushed an egg down on the top of Fujioka's head, the mix of white and yellow sticky liquid rolling down on her beautiful hair. She lowered her head, lips opening in shock but not daring to say a thing even if she felt furious.

Iwaizumi then turned towards the rest of the group of bullies and aimed at them, hitting their chests and heads with the eggs, not caring if he was hurting any of them. They all felt anger and shame but the fear of facing the strong man was knotting their tongues and stomachs.

He huffed in a mix of annoyance and satisfaction, looking down at his classmates who didn't dare moving an inch, all looking down and covered in sticky egg.

" _So_ , is that fun?!" He shouted angrily.

No one answered but several jumped at his harsh tone.

The innocent classmates watched with wide eyes as Iwaizumi turned around without glancing back at the group of bullies.

"I'll let you clean that mess, assholes." He ordered.

He grabbed Kiku's hand and pulled her behind him. The girl looked at him with wide eyes, not quite believing that Iwaizumi Hajime had _protected_ her and _stood up_ for her. Despite the tears in her eyes and feeling terrible because she had just been bullied, she couldn't help but feel grateful Hajiem had been here. Grateful that he was now dragging her away rapidly, holding her hand. She felt so warm despite the hurt in her heart from her classmates.

Her hand tightened around Hajime's sticky one, covered in egg. But she didn't mind squeezing his hand when he had gotten it dirty for her sake.

They finally arrived in a changing-room that was inside the main building – the changing-room for the boys and girls who were in clubs that didn't have their own clubrooms for changing. Hajime quickly washed his hands, muttering to himself, still furious at his classmates before sending a message to Oikawa, asking him to go get his and Kiku's bags in the classroom.

Even if he was surprised and curious, Oikawa didn't ask any question and quickly left his classroom and went to his friend's one. He froze in shock when he saw some students crying angrily and out of fear – among them Fujioka Masami who was playing the victim. Several had what looked like drying egg on their hair and uniform and two were cleaning the floor covered in white powder – flour?

"What happened here…?" Oikawa asked hesitantly, looking around and blinking.

"Oikawa-san!" Fujioka exclaimed, running to him as soon as she saw him.

She grabbed his uniform, overly dramatic sobs shaking her.

"This is awful! Iwaizumi-san…! Iwaizumi-san…! He _attacked_ me!" She exclaimed.

"What?" Oikawa asked, blinking in disbelief.

"He is _dangerous!_ You have to warn your coach and get him out of the volleyball team! He needs to be punished!" She brawled.

Oikawa didn't answer as Fujioka leaned against him for comfort – it wasn't new that the girl had a huge crush on him (like most girls if he dared say so), but Iwa-chan attacking a girl (even a bitch) just sounded so unrealistic…?

Hearing some people whispering in the classroom, Tooru glanced around but as soon as the groups of students whispering saw his gaze, they shut up and turned away, as if worried of what would happened to them if they were telling the truth.

"Fujioka-san," Tooru called with a kind smile, hands going on her shoulders, "Would you mind telling me the whole story?" He asked.

Fujioka looked up at him, as if surprised to see him doubt her and not already comforting her in his strong arms.

"I-I just told you! I-Iwaizumi-san decided to attack me!"

"I don't think Iwa-chan would attack someone without a legitimate reason." Oikawa answered.

He kept his nice smile but his voice was so dark that Fujioka froze and shivered. Several people glanced nervously at the volleyball Captain, sensing a dangerous aura coming off of him. He pushed away Fujioka lightly before turning around to look at the others:

"Now, won't anyone tell me a thing?" He asked once again.

Several glanced at each other, wondering if they could talk to Oikawa Tooru even if it meant bringing Fujioka's wrath on them…

"…Iwaizumi-san protected Akiyama-san from bullies." Someone finally said hesitantly.

"He still attacked me!" Fujioka exclaimed furiously, "Oikawa-san! You have to believe me!"

"I believe you, Fujioka-san." Oikawa simply said, turning to her with a smile.

His fingers caressed her cheek and she blushed as he tilted up her head.

"I believe you when you say Iwa-chan attacked you…" He murmured with his sweet smile.

"T-then…" She continued sweetly, blinking her eyelashes at him.

Oikawa huffed and let go of her but she had leaned forward so hopefully that she almost fell over.

"But I'm glad he did, otherwise _I_ would have been the one attacking you all." Oikawa added with a cold voice and harsh gaze, staring straight at the group of bullies he could recognize by the egg in their hair and uniform.

"B-but…" Fujioka stammered with wide, furious eyes, "L-look at my hair! He _ruined_ my hair!" She exclaimed, pointing at her usual beautiful hair.

Oikawa ignored her and moved towards Hajime and Kiku's desks, taking their bags as well as the bags with their change of clothes because they should have PE class later in the day. He didn't need an entire explanation to understand what had happened and why Iwaizumi had suddenly asked him to bring his and Kiku's stuff.

"O-Oikawa-san!" Fujioka screamed when he walked past her calmly, "I-I'll tell the teachers that you threatened to attack me after your best friend did!" She hissed.

"And so? Go ahead~" Oikawa answered, turning around with his overly sweet and _very_ dangerous smile, "But if you do that, you'll have to answer to bullying Kiku-chan. And it's not to a coach or teachers I'll talk – but to the headmaster directly. We'll see which one of us, between your crying act, and my honest words, will win, uh?"

Fujioka clenched her fists and jaw, not finding anything to reply. Oikawa watched her, slightly amused at her sudden silence now that she was the one in a position of weakness. Everyone watched the two stars of Aoba Johsai facing each other, the atmosphere turning cold and heavy.

"That's what I thought. _Good girl._ " He praised mockingly before leaving the classroom.

Tears of shame and anger filled Masami's eyes and she ran off, to escape everyone's gazes.

Oikawa found Iwaizumi in front of the changing-room on the first floor. The young man had taken off his jacket but his tie and shirt were wet from the egg earlier. There was some yellow, sticking to his skin through the fabric. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and a furious look on his face.

"Iwa-chan, where is Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked when he reached him.

"Taking a shower. She's covered in flour and egg, she's trying to wash it all out." Iwaizumi answered grumpily.

Tooru didn't take it to the heart, he knew that (for once) Hajime wasn't angry at him and that his grumpiness was caused by a legitimate reason.

"I just shut Fujioka up, I think she won't bother Kiku-chan or you anymore. But she looked furious so you should be careful…" Tooru added, handing him his sports bag.

"Thanks… for that, and for bringing us our stuff…" Hajime continued with a nod, relaxing a little.

He glanced at the door behind him, wondering if he should bring Kiku her bags. He flushed, thinking back on the fact that she was taking a shower…

"…How do we give Kiku her stuff?" He asked Oikawa who grinned.

"We can just knock and go in!" He exclaimed cheerfully.

"NO! We can't do that! She's taking a _shower!_ And stop looking so joyful!"

"It's not like we'd look or anything!"

"It's NO, Pervykawa!"

"So mean, Iwa-chan! After I went through all the trouble of bringing you your bags!"

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

"Who is supposed to bring Kiku-chan her bags then, if not us?!"

"I will."

The two young men turned around, blinking to see a girl, one of Kiku and Hajime's classmate, standing behind them awkwardly.

"…You're Yukimura Shinobu… what are you doing here?" Iwaizumi asked his classmate suspiciously.

"I-I followed Oikawa-san here… I-I'm worried about Akiyama-san a-and… um…"

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at the girl who startled and looked down, fumbling her fingers nervously.

"I-I'm not one of the bullies! I swear! I… I actually disliked watching Akiyama-san being bullied b-but… I didn't have the strength to stand up for her the way you did, Iwaizumi-san…" Yukimura murmured, looking down.

Iwaizumi stared at her and recalled that she had been one of the non-involved students who had remained away from the entire scene, just watching in disbelief everything that was happening. He sighed and Oikawa took it as the sign to let the girl in. Yukimura took Akiyama's bags then entered the changing-room, talking loud enough for the two boys to hear.

"Akiyama-san, I'm bringing you your bags. I'll leave them on the bench!"

A moment later, she was leaving the room, bowing to the young men then walked off as Oikawa waved at her goodbye.

"I'm going to change, can you keep an eye out here?" Iwaizumi asked his friend.

"Mm mm~!" He answered, leaning casually against the wall, overly happy for some reason that Iwaizumi couldn't understand.

He stared at his friend then entered the boys' changing-room to take off his sticky clothes and change into his volleyball uniform.

Unknown to Iwaizumi, Oikawa's real reason to his happiness was the simply fact that despite how saddening the situation was, Hajime had stood up and protected Kiku-chan~

"I really don't have much work to do, they're doing everything all on their own~" Tooru murmured to himself happily.

His ship was sailing _so well_ , it was fulfilling.

Hajime changed quickly because unlike Kiku, he didn't need to take a shower. He told Oikawa he could go back to his classroom and a short moment later, Kiku came out of the changing-room, hair still a little wet from the shower. Despite the situation, Hajime couldn't help but flush lightly, his hands turning sweaty.

18\. Her hair is slightly curly at the tips when it's wet.

But then, he sobered up when he realized that, despite keeping her eyes cast down, they were red and she was still sniffling. She had probably cried in the shower… Rubbing the back of his neck, Hajime hesitated, not good at comforting people.

"Do you… uh, wanna go back to class…?" He hesitated, knowing that the break was over for a while now – he hoped Oikawa wouldn't get in trouble for being _very_ late but in the same time, he wasn't really worried because it was _Oikawa Tooru_.

Without much surprised, Kiku shook her head no, fingers fumbling nervously.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Iwaizumi asked, flushing lightly at the idea of taking the girl back to her place.

Her eyes widened and she hesitated before biting her lower lip and shaking her head once again.

"M-my parents will worry… if I go home now…"

"Yeah, it's not lunch yet…" He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.

He glanced down at the girl, wondering what he – _they_ could do at this hour, alone… One thing was sure: he wouldn't bear to let Kiku out of his sight for the moment, especially not when she looked on the verge of tears once again.

"Let's go," Iwaizumi suddenly said, taking her hand and pulling her behind him.

She stumbled behind him, looking up in shock at the young man who focused on his steps to not blush too much.

"B-but…" She hesitated, "Y-you have class, a-and y-you can't miss it because o-of me…"

"Tch, as if I wanna breath the same air as these jerks for now…" He muttered, "You need comfort. When _we_ need comfort because we lost a match," he continued, referring to the volleyball team, "We go to a ramen restaurant from the neighbourhood. I'm taking you there. You'll eat, get warm and better and then… we'll go wherever you want."

Kiku hesitated, but when she opened her lips, Hajime interrupted her, glancing down at the girl, feigning to frown and pout – but he really felt like a marshmallow when he noticed her staring at him with her wide, beautiful dark blue eyes…

"Don't discuss. My treat." He mumbled, cheeks red.

Kiku didn't answer, almost running to keep up with his long legs. Then, she felt her heart beat faster, spreading warmth and comfort in her entire body.

 _I don't need ramen for comfort, as long as I'm with you_ … She thought to herself.

She ran to catch up with him, smiling to herself while squeezing his warm hand. He squeezed back and they walked side by side, leaving the high-school's grounds together.

* * *

 _I hope I didn't overdo it for the bullies, but I know that even in high-school, bullies make such "pranks". Also... it won't happen again, I mean, the kinda angsty tone of this chapter - next chapter will have the atmosphere of the fluffy end of this one. Basically, a non official date (clue: popcorn)._

 _Also, the other day I saw something on tumblr which was an IwaOi stuff (I don't ship them but fujoshi's ships always pop up ontumblr) and Oikawa was saying "Iwaizumi Tooru" before adding that it sounds great. And, I was like "oh yes, it DOES sound great. What abotu Kiku? Would it sound good? Iwaizumi Kiku. Yes! It does!" and then I played around and I SWEAR TO THE GODS THAT IWAIZUMI IS A FAMILY NAME THAT SOUNDS GREAT WITH ANY OTHER NAME! GO AHEAD, TRY! I REPLACED ALMOST EVERY CHARACTERS FAMILY NAME WITH IWAIZUMI AND IT SOUNDS GREAT! (It makes finding names for the Kijime future babies so much easier, ahah~)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	10. The Best Sensation in the World

_Only ten chapters and already so many reviews, follow and favorites! Thank you all! :D_

 _Also - good news - I finally found some story for Oikawa (ok I have like the title, summary,prologue and two little moments but at elast it's finally looking like something! PS: the title will be "Aliens" unless I change things but I don't think so, I like it :D)_

 _Also, everyone sort of said, or kinda agreed, that Iwaizumi is cute and adorable in this fanfic. To which I agree and, that's what I want so great if you think it. BUT I FOUND A NEW NICKNAME FOR HIM! :D *cough cough* *stands up straight and says very proudly* Iwaicutie. *TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAM!* :3_

 _ **FanFictionAddiction4EVER** : The goal IS to melt from fluffiness~! :3_

 _ **Houshikun001** : I like Iwaizumi as Ace, Vice-Captain and everything we've sene him be - but I just LOVE the headcanon that he's a dork who doesn't stop blushing in love! And the fcat that he's a knight in shining armur is just... *O*_

 _ **rheascarlet** : Don't worry, you're not forcing me at all about my sotries! :) And I've already decided that I wouldn't post/start another fanfic until I'm done with one of the three going on in HQ. I say that but I almost broke today and almost started to write AND post Kuroo's fanfic because IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY. Ushiwaka said that Oikawa's skills as a setter allows him to "bring the best out of everyone" (what do you mean I'm too obssessed? It's not like I've registered the dialogues in both Eglish and Japanese ahah ah... ah...) Anyroad. The ship is sailing well like author, reader AND OIKAWA want! XD Also, I might put a few hints of Oikawa's future story in this one, but later on! ;)_

 _ **trouvaille** : I was particulaly proud of Iwaizumi and Oikawa when they handled the bullies. Ah! You wanna ship Yukimura and Oikawa? :D It'll all depend of their chemistry and people's reactino to it but don't forget that this is IWAIZUMI's story, so Oikawa, even if he IS Oikawa, will not steal the spotlight - not most of the time at least but like I said he IS Oikawa Tooru... (stealing the spotlight is natural for him) You read Sowlmates too? :D (sorry if you reviewed in Sowlmate but I get a little confused on who reviews one story, who reviews another, who reviews both...)_

 _ **HaPPy2901** : I only see IwaOi as brother-like relationship so... I HAVE three stories so, you've got all of them (+ a one shot about Kageyama) I am SO sorry but I just can't remember if you caught up with Sowlmates (I'm just too tired to remember and/or check the reviews on Sowlmates) but if you did, I hope you enjoyed it! ;) It WAS cliché, the bullying but I once saw people in my high-school who were hahving a flour and eggs battle (it wasn't really bullying but well) SO... *shrugs* I usppose I'll write a tiny bit of a backstory about the girl (don't even rememebr her name anymore) but her main reasons are just that Oikawa doesn't seem interested in her (so it makes her bitter about everything) and she saw Kiku (who is like eeeww for her) interact with Oikawa so she became jealous and hateed that. Also, some people are just naturally bad, they enjoy having others in pain or crying... Its sad, but it's true... :( I'm glad you loved Iwaizumi and Kiku's interactions but things are really going to start blossomingbetween these two, and we'll finally learn a lot more abot Kiku and her past! ;) Oikawa wouldn't start conflicts on Kijime, he'd help them out, but there will definitely be some storm later on. Still haven't determiend if Oikawa will have a hand in it. Don't think there is a lineup on the chapters posted on my three fanfics, it's what I feel like posting when something is written somewhere! XD I haven't touched the Kohaku story in SO LONG I'd need to reread it all to be able to write what's next. Considering that Sowlmate is time-line catching up with From Evening to Dawn, I'll have to continue this one to be able to write effectively the summer camp. Not tht anything will happen there, nope. The only angst in Quiet Voice will be PAST angst, but nothing will break between Kijime._

 _ **Riomi-senpai** : Iwaicutie (your review inspired me for "Iwaicutie") will do more than just ramen - and so will Kiku! ;D_

 _ **VioletRyu** : It's incredible that Iwaizumi fits with every first name to be. Also, I love the name "Hajime" but I hate the kanji that goes with this first name, it's just... too simple! It's just the kanji for "one" so I kinda get the whole "number one fits Iwaizumi even if he's Ace blah blah" but COME ON. His parents really lacked imagination when they had to pick a kanji... Iwaizumi is definitely one of the top best boyfriend-material in the HQ characters (I'd add Asahi, Daichi, Suga... I think Oikawa would be very lovely but too focused on volleyball but otherwise very kind with hsigirls... who else...? Akaashi probably, very gentleman-like he'd be...)_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : It was told i another review but I repeat it: I once saw people in my high-school having a flour and eggs battle! Not sure if it was bullying, if it did, it had turned into a joke battle but... bringing flour and eggs isn't an unique situation. Iwaizumi is so cute, he's... Iwaicutie! ;D_

 _ **midorima-shintaro07** : I think in official art and stuff Iwaizumi is depicted as a knight, like the Great King's most faithful knight or something... It suits these two! :D_

 _ **Shy guest** : I feel like everyone relates to Oikawa in this fanfic with the ship sailing so well! XD Yukimura will reappear, a lot, like, yep! x) _

_**Cooliceprincess** : Iwaizumi is such a great name, it goes perfectly with EVERY other name! x) _

_**tall-and-handsome** : Because you read this fanfic, you don't have to review, don't worry! ;) I'm just happy if my stories are read and make people happy! :D Kiku is shy but she'll be able to leave her shell behind - thanks to her lovely Iwaicutie~ :3_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER X : The Best Sensation in the World

" _When I sit near you, my hands suddenly become alien things and I don't know where to put them or what they usually do, like this is the first time I've ever had hands and maybe they go in my pockets and maybe they don't."_

— **Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You**

" _Falling in love feels amazing, but it's also terrifying. The moment you admit to loving someone, you admit to having a lot to lose."_

— **Mandy Len Cantron**

" _I like you… And I don't even care that you don't like me - I'm used to it, I wouldn't know what to do if you did. But I like you… I like this."_

— **Rainbow Rowell, Carry On**

Iwaizumi was still holding Kiku's hand when he entered the ramen restaurant where the team always went. Sometimes it was after a particularly exhausting practice, or after a practice match, every time they've lost against Shiratorizawa, it was the place they went to for some comfort…

"Hajime-kun! It's unusual to see you here at lunch~!" The lady greeted.

Hajime smiled, feeling much better now that he was in this place and away from the bullies – he didn't feel angry anymore. But he could feel Kiku's hand in his. His hand was sweaty and he wondered if she minded but in the same time, he couldn't let go. Her skin had been a little cold when he had taken her hand but now it had been warmed by his.

He stopped breathing when he felt Kiku holding onto his arm, pressing against his side, half-hidden behind him.

"Is it ok to eat here, though?" He asked politely, noticing that there weren't any customer.

"Of course, of course~ Ah! Who is this girl? Your girlfriend?" The lady continued with a wink.

Hajime and Kiku both turned fifty shades of red, which made the lady laugh.

"S-she's n-not…"

"W-we're not…"

"Ahah! You're adorable~! You are welcome here anytime, you know that, Hajime-kun! You and your cute friend here too~! Take a seat, I'm bringing you the usual~!" She exclaimed, starting to work to prepare the usual ramen.

"T-thanks…" Hajime answered hesitantly.

He glanced down at Kiku but she didn't seem to mind not choosing. She glanced around at the amount of empty seats and they walked towards a little booth, away from the rest of the restaurant and discreet from prying eyes if more customers were to come.

Their hands let go of each other. Both blushed and looked away, sitting in front of each other while trying not to think about the fact that their hands felt so cold now.

"There you go~ Shoyu ramen~" The lady announced, putting down two ramen in front of the young people, "Is there anything in particular you want? Mm?" She continued, turning towards Kiku with a smile.

Kiku startled but shook her head no, flushing and looking down. Hajime smiled up at the lady.

"Thank you," he said.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call, Hajime-kun~" She said, walking away.

He smiled a little more then turned towards Kiku who was now eying the bowl of ramen.

"I-I hope it's all right…" He hesitated.

Kiku smiled at him, her eyes sparkling a little. He felt his heart miss a few beats and he turned much redder than before.

"It's my favorite!" She exclaimed before taking her chopsticks and spoon, "Itadakimasu…"

"Ibada– Itada…kimasu…" He mumbled, taking his chopsticks as well.

They started eating the food and instantly, smiles of appreciation appeared on their faces. The warmth and familiar taste of ramen made them both feel instantly better. The bullying, flour and eggs felt like years ago. As if they had spent hours and hours wandering together, hand in hand, before reaching this ramen restaurant. But they didn't mind this sensation of having spent endless time in the quiet, warm and comforting presence of one another…

They ate in complete silence but it wasn't heavy or uncomfortable, it felt right. Once they were done, they waved goodbye to the lady, paid and left the restaurant, walking away from Aoba Johsai High-school even more.

"So… where do you want to go…?" Hajime asked awkwardly after a moment.

His hands were in his pockets to hold back the awkward moves he kept doing out of nerves – also, he really, _really_ wanted to hold Kiku's hand once again but he wasn't sure she'd want to…

Kiku looked down hesitantly, not having any idea of anything to do.

"What do you like doing when you go in town?" He continued, trying to make a conversation.

Awkward, Kiku tried to find something but she wasn't sure what to say.

"I… I usually work or go shopping for my parents… or for stuff I absolutely need…" She answered awkwardly.

"…Same for me…" He answered, rubbing the back of his neck, "Oikawa is the one who always drags me to do activities but… I don't do stuff on my own…"

And most activities involved volleyball. He was pretty sure that Kiku wouldn't want to spend the afternoon watching volleyball games or see him getting over-excited over some volleyball products and famous players…

"How about we just go and… we'll see what to do once we're there?" He asked.

Kiku nodded and after a ride on a bus, they've reached the main part of the city of Sendai were all shops and interests for young people were. There wasn't much of a crowd but there were definitely more people than around the high-school where all students were inside – except for these two who were missing the entire afternoon.

"Ah, s-sorry!" Kiku exclaimed when a man bumped into her.

Hajime glanced over his shoulder as Kiku caught up with him, avoiding another person.

Blushing, he held out his hand and she stared at him curiously – and was it hope he saw in her eyes?

"T-to not get lost…" He murmured, feeling like he was about to explode.

Kiku blushed as well and lowered her head before a smile spread over her face and she took his hand. Hers was tiny in his, It was a little cold once again but quickly, warmth spread in both of their bodies from just holding hands.

They walked for a little while once again, Hajime's steps much slower to let Kiku keep up with him. He cursed himself when he felt his palms go sweaty – he was way too nervous with the girl so close to his body.

"You're such a gentleman, Hajime…" Kiku murmured with a smile behind her free hand.

"Uh? What did you say?" He asked, turning to her when he heard her voice but not her words.

"Nothing," she answered with an amused smile.

She moved closer to him, pressing her body as close as possible. Hajime stiffened and blushed even more when it wasn't just her hand touching him, but her side pressing against his. He blushed even more when he realized that he could feel her breasts against his arm through their clothes. He quickly turned his head away, trying to breath or focus on anything _but_ the girl being so physically, hellishly close to him. He felt like he was burning but he curiously didn't mind at all.

It wasn't the raging flames he felt whenever he was angry at some Oikawa-ish thing his friend just did, or after what the bullies had done… they were flames that burnt all of the layers of his physics and mind away to reveal his soul. He only met Kiku with his soul, fully and completely and he dared hope she did and felt the same for him. He liked this sensation of being burnt away by his heart.

Feeling a little more relaxed, Hajime glanced back at Kiku who was smiling softly, looking all around as if she was discovering the town for the first time. The tip of her hair still looked like a little hook going outwards even if it had dried.

She probably straightens the tip of her hair in the morning.

Kiku's gaze lingered someplace and he followed her eyes, seeing the movie theater.

"The movie theater? You wanna go?" He asked, feeling strangely relaxed about this entire afternoon skipping class.

"AH! Uh!" She suddenly exclaimed, blushing in embarrassment for being caught, "I… I don't like going to the movie theater alone s-so… I always wait for movies to come out in dvd…" She mumbled.

Hajime chuckled to himself.

"I know, I do the same because I hate going in crowded places – but Oikawa always wants to see movies on the first day when there is a hell of a crowd. And he drags me with him all the fucking time… I don't even know how he manages to drag me to begin with…"

"I'm sure Oikawa-san must be very convincing at times!" Kiku joked with a lovely, amused smile.

Hajime felt enchanted seeing this expression on her face and he started smiling like an idiot.

"Let's go, if there's a movie you want to see," he suddenly said.

"A-ah, b-but, y-you already, I-I don't want to…" Kiku stammered adorably.

"You're not alone, right? And it's not crowded. So let's go together," he said, already stepping towards the movie theater.

After some more protest from Kiku, some more convincing from Hajime, they agreed on a movie – before arguing on who had to pay. Hajime insisted because it was his invitation but Kiku didn't want him to pay when he had already paid for the ramen – they finally reached an agreement where Kiku paid for the tickets and he paid for the popcorn and other sweets and soda.

"I thought athletes had to follow a very strict diet?" Kiku said with an amused gaze.

She sent a sided look at Hajime who was already eating some candies – both of their arms were full, mostly because of the huge appetite of the young man.

"Not on the days off." He answered, mouth full.

"Your day off is Monday, not Tuesday."

"It feels like a day off if I'm with you," he answered cockily.

She sighed and smiled, shaking her head lightly. Hajime noticed from the corner of his eyes that when she was smiling in amusement, her smile turned into a side smirk. It made her look so much more mischievous and mature. He loved that.

They found the best seats and when the movie started, they realized they were the only ones in the entire room. They shared the food and soda, eating a little bit of everything they could put their hands on. It quickly became a game between the two of them to try to steal some candy or sweet from the other's hand – also, their skin always touched and they absolutely loved the shivers it sent through their bodies. The obscurity of the room was a blessing and a curse: a blessing because the other couldn't see their body reactions to touching, the smiles, the blushes, the hidden trembles of the hand… but a curse because they wanted so badly to see each other's expressions as well.

Hajime was drinking some soda, actually (trying) to focus on the movie which had more action scenes than he would have initially thought when he had let Kiku pick the movie. It actually had an interesting plot and despite their little game, he was enjoying the movie.

"I don't have any more soda, do you mind if I drink some of yours?" Kiku asked in a low voice, already leaning towards him.

"Sure…" He answered absentmindedly.

He leaned the drink towards her and Kiku leaned over the seat, her shoulder against him to sip some of the soda. It was then that it struck Hajime who froze completely.

"Wait–" He cried out.

He turned his head just as Kiku lifted up hers, alerted by his voice. They stopped breathing, their faces only inches apart. They both blushed so badly that even in the darkness, it could be seen by the other.

Kiku hesitated, opening and closing her lips, still shining from the sugar from the soda she had just drunk – the soda _Hajime_ had been drinking.

As stupid and childish as it may sound, the only thing on his mind at this very moment was the fact that they had exchanged an indirect kiss and that Kiku's lips looked definitely inviting.

As if understanding his thoughts and embarrassment, Kiku smiled, her eyes sparkling like a night sky. She leaned forward, closing her eyes and Hajime quickly closed his as well, not daring to breathe.

 _That's it! It's coming! She's kissing me! She's kissing…_ He thought frenetically, heart beating so fast he could feel the skin on his chest vibrating violently.

But when he didn't feel Kiku's lips on his, he opened his eyes, meeting Kiku's big, bright eyes, sparkling in amusement at his reaction. She had leaned forward and the tip of her nose was pressed against his.

Stunned, Hajime watched her with big eyes, still feeling his cheeks on fire by her proximity.

Kiku's lips trembled and she laughed softly. The sound seemed to echo against the skin of his face as she moved away, back in her seat. Hajime was still frozen in his, drink held up automatically and eyes wide open with his cheeks burning in a marvelous, maddening sensation…

She was very mischievous.

He glanced hesitantly at his left, seeing Kiku still smiling in amusement. He wished she had really kissed him. He was tempted to lean over and kiss her here and then but… he lacked the courage to do so and… he wanted to see her face in daylight when he'd kiss her for the first time.

He swallowed hard and blushed even more if it was possible. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her hand at all times. He wanted to spend more time with her, as much time as possible. He wanted to see her eyes sparkling like stars. He wanted to see her lips extend in a smile, holding back a laugh before it resonated anyway. He wanted to feel flustered and giddy and happy around her.

Some sort of anxiety fell on Hajime, tightening his heart and making him feel a little dizzy before he realized that it was the fear that none of it could happen despite his heart beating only for this. Then, he felt incredibly relaxed despite the thundering beating of his heart in his chest, resonating so loudly that he couldn't hear the movie anymore.

 _Damn it… I think I'm in love with her_ … He realized suddenly.

But his lips trembled and a smile appeared on his face, a giddy smile. He fought with himself to hold back the laugh that tried to escape his throat. This sensation… realizing he was in love… it was frightening, beautiful, so intense, so overwhelming, but oh-so-exhilirating. It was the _best_ sensation in the world.

Kiku glanced at her right and her eyes widened slightly when she saw the expression on Hajime's face. He looked incredibly happy. So happy it was contagious and she felt herself smiling just to see this expression on his face. Her heart missed a few beats and she put her hand on her chest. She was almost thankful to the bullies for giving her this opportunity to spend the entire day with Hajime, to have hold his hand, to have seen so many of his expressions he didn't usually show…

Overwhelmed with joy and gratefulness, Kiku leaned against his shoulder, closing her eyes and smiling happily. She felt the young man stiffen before relaxing as he glanced down at her. Their hands entwined once again, not caring anymore about being covered in sugar from too much candy they've eaten, and a little sweaty from the nerves that were still invading them. But with the nerves now came the butterflies sensation in their stomachs.

Today felt like the best day in the world.

They exited the movie theater still holding hands and without a word, Hajime followed Kiku's lead. She finally stopped, a few minutes later, at a bus stop. He glanced at her curiously. The afternoon still had a long way to go and he didn't want to leave yet.

"If you go now, you'll be in time for practice," she said with a smile.

Shocked, Iwaizumi blinked before reacting, more vividly than he thought he would have.

"B-b-but… the day… the afternoon! I mean… uh…"

Kiku squeezed his hand, smiling tenderly at him. It made Hajime's heart miss a few beats, like every time she showed him this soft expression…

"Skipping class because of our classmates is a thing, but I don't want you to skip practice with your friends. Also, who will handle Oikawa-san if you're not there? The practice might go hectic…" She joked.

Hajime couldn't help but chuckle. But he still felt reluctant at leaving Kiku all alone.

"I'll accompany you home then," he proposed.

She smiled in a knowing way, something that looked a little like melancholy passing in her eyes. But as quickly as it had appeared, it disappeared and she smiled up at him:

"This bus takes me directly there. I'll just take it. It's so nice of you though, Iwaizumi-san…" She continued.

Before he could answer, a bus arrived. He pouted but Kiku quickly climbed the bus, her hand leaving his. She took a seat just in front of where he was standing and perhaps his dark mood was more obvious than he thought because she tapped the glass of the window. Iwaizumi glanced up and saw her put her hands around her face to convert a message. Her lips moved but he didn't hear her words.

"What? I didn't hear!" He exclaimed, he hoped loud enough to be heard.

She must have heard him because she laughed, jerking her head backwards. He wished he had heard her laugh even more than her words. Then, the bus started and drove away.

At first, Hajime felt down for not being with Kiku any longer. But on his way back to school for practice, he couldn't help but think back on the afternoon spent with Kiku and all of these new, exhilarating sensations. He had never thought being in love would make him so happy – he wasn't the type cut out for 'love' but, with Kiku, it definitely felt right. He could still smell the scent of sugar from her breath when she had leaned her nose against his, mimicking a kiss – how he had wished it had been a kiss.

 _No, no, no, if we kiss, I want to see her expression. It can't be in the dark_ … He immediately corrected himself.

He arrived in the changing-room where some of his teammates were already there but he didn't seem to notice anyone or even hear their voices when they saluted him. He went straight for his locker with a stupid smile on his face.

Everyone on the volleyball team glanced at their Ace who was sparkling, glowing and seemed to be followed by a trail of blossoming flowers.

"What's wrong with Iwaizumi-san…?" Kindaichi asked in a low voice.

Yahaba, Kunimi and Watari shrugged, about as confused as him.

"Iwa-chan! How is Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked enthusiastically.

Hajime looked up, as if he had heard his voice, but he smiled to himself and started stripping off his clothes without hearing his friend – while he was actually wearing his volleyball uniform (it only confirmed to the others that something was _off_ ).

"Iwa-chan…?" Oikawa called hesitantly, not used to deal with his friend so… so overwhelmingly enthusiast.

"Iwaizumi, is this true Akiyama was bullied by your classmates? Oikawa told us what happened and… _oi_. Are you listening?" Hanamaki asked, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

Still, Iwaizumi didn't react before looking around for his uniform he had just taken off – and found it at his feet. He leaned down and the others all stared at him awkwardly.

"He smells like sugar…" Matsukawa noticed, sniffing the air.

"OI!" Hanamaki shouted, clapping his hand on Iwaizumi's shoulder so suddenly he jumped.

"WAAAH! What the fuck?!" He shouted, whipping towards Hanamaki, the aura of Spring Goddess disappearing from around Iwaizumi.

"Are you listening?! We've been talking to you since you've entered!" Hanamaki exclaimed, "What the hell happened today to get you in such a… a… sugar-coat and sweet behavior…? You look like Oikawa, it's scary…" He murmured with wide eyes.

"I'll ignore this comment." Oikawa huffed, putting his hands on his hips, "Also – isn't it _obvious_ what happened?"

Everyone, including the now confused Iwaizumi, turned towards their Captain who grinned happily, staring right at his friend.

"Iwa-chan is in love~!" Oikawa exclaimed happily, spreading his arms.

Iwaizumi gasped and blushed, the others blinking in disbelief before Hanamki laughed loudly.

"AH AH! Don't tell me it's Akiyama because then I'm going to eat our jersey! This is just…"

His voice trailed off when Hajime finally reacted. He blushed even more before covering his face with his hands and crouching on the floor, too embarrassed to remain standing.

"Eh?" Hanamaki murmured in incredulity, blinking.

"Eh?" Oikawa echoed, blinking as well because the chances that he was right had been pretty low and he had mostly wanted to embarrass his friend.

"EEEEHHH?!" The entire team shouted, making their Vice-Captain shake his head, face still hidden behind his hands in embarrassment – thankfully they didn't see his massive grin.

Once the shock was passed – actually, everyone was still trying to wrap their minds around the idea that _Iwaizumi Hajime_ , their Ace and Vice-Captain, ranked number one of the male population of Aoba Jousai and possibly all of Sendai, was _in love_ was _just_ …

Matsukawa threw his arm around Hanamaki's still stiff shoulders, a huge, mocking grin on his face.

"Sooo… our jersey. Which way do you want to eat it? Grilled or foiled?" He asked, making a vein of annoyance appear on Takahiro's forehead while the silence was interrupted by the cute little noise Hajime was making out of embarrassment.

* * *

 _I can't help but laugh because for the ones who read Sowlmates, you know how long it's taking for Ayakou to get together (64chapters to this day and just a few hugs and lots of tears) and here we have Hajime and Kiku. Ten tiny chapters. Holding hands, going on dates, almost kissing, teasing each other... LOL._

 _Anyway~_

 _Thanks for reading~_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	11. Quiet Jealousy

_I apologize for not posting the chapter earlier but a hell lot of things happened in the same time: I moved out to another place and then, there was no more niternet until well, yesterday; I got sick so badly I couldn't move for a week and then, I am currently screaming about my finals._

 _Thank you so much for your constant support, it gives me wings! :D Thank you for following and favoriting - it's crazy, only 11 chapters but already so many of you have favorited, followed and reviewed...! I could never thank you enough! :D_

 _ **Yunrii** : Nothing makes me happier but knowing my chapters make someone smile~ :3 I only wrote the prologue of the Oikawa fanfic so far - but I'm preparing something pretty cool, ifnot the best fanfic, a good one! ;)_

 _ **trouvaille** : I had promised fluff for this fanfic, after all. Compared to Sowlmate, with Kijime, we're drowning in absolute fluff! x)_

 _: Your review made me laugh so much! :D Thank you for reviewing so passionately! :D Iwaicutie is just the best~_

 _ **rheascarlet** : Everyone dealing with Kijime hears wedding bells because they're so fluffy constantly. I PROMISE I'LL WRITE KUROO'S STORY NEXT! I'll try finishing Asahi's one during the Christmas holiday to start Kuroo! I'm really impatient to write about Ayaka and Bokuto's appritions in this fanfic! ;)_

 _ **darkpercy5** : I am continuing, I am~ Thank you! :D_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : Ayakou needs 68 chapters to kiss. Kijime ALMOST kissed at 10 chapters. But the record is held by Oikawa's story - first kiss in the prologue. XD_

 _ **Viet Devil** : THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN STRONG TOUGH MUSUCLAR AND POWER DEITIES LIKE IWA-CHAN BEING ADORABLE CUTIES WHO BLUSH AND STAMMER AND ARE SO AWKWARD AROUDN THEIR CRUSHES! THEY'RE THE ABSOLTE BEST! And yes~ definitely bonding and friendship between Kiku and Oikawa + team - I think it's starting next chapter or the following?_

 _ **Angelgirl236** : Ayakou definitely needs a good lesson from Kijime about a healthy relationship with no heartbreak._

 _ **Shy guest** : I should probably add more of Kiku's insight and feelings - it's so focused on Iwa-chan we still didn't have a proper insight on Kiku's feeligns - even if it's obvious. Well, Iwaizumi IS an athlete - he needs LOTS of food and I've always imagined him with a sweet tooth (one of m friend says he'd be more into salty stuff but I disagree). The poor dying pterodactyls on fire... We don't know what she told him through the window - someday, they'll probably talk about it (if I remember to write this moment)._

 _ **Houshikun001** : I hope you have a good dentist then! XD Thank you to YOU for your lovely review~_

 _ **Cooliceprincess** : Their romance IS progressing fast, but they're not together yet. ;) One of the ebst thing from Haikyuu is Oikawa and Iwaizumi's friendship._

 _ **CommandoGirl1127** : Aaaaw~ Thank yoooou~ Concerning the comparison between Ayakou and Kijime, I'll say to you what I wrote above: Ayakou needs 68 chapters to kiss. Kijime ALMOST kissed at 10 chapters. But the record is held by Oikawa's story - first kiss in the prologue. Let me LOL once again! XD_

 _ **Lili** : Not all of her classmates are terrible, some weere just too afraid to act~ ;) I don't think anyone wouldn't ship them - even their families will give their blessings (for the most part) without thinking twice._

 _ **LuxKlara** : I feel like for a lot of people this fanfic is some sort of medicine pill because of Sowlmate! XD The girl Kiku was talking to previously willl reappear and we'll have the revelation of the link between Kiku and the coachES later (but soon)._

 _ **bloodplus103** : Like I said before - this fanfic is a medciine pill for the ones who read Sowlmates! XD Sorry for the grammatical mistakes, I'm trying my bst but as long as it is understood, I guess it's fine... ^^"_

 _ **xOphiuchusx** : SO sorry I couldn't post ealeir! But here it is! :D_

 _ **tripmisses** : I want their relationship to evolve steadily but too fast either. Just no drama to ruin things or anything. Just fluff. And more fluff wrapped up in fluff. I have to admit that I have NO IDEA why you posted another review saying simply "kijime babies!" but I agree? I HAVE found the names for the future Kijime babiees... x) (it's one of the first step when I create OCs - how many babies and what names will they have?)_

 _ **Sheryllovie98** : Cute and fluffy are the main words of this story - it'll get a bit more spicy with a bit of 'hot' later on, but LATER LATER ON! x) (I ahve to keep things interesting, right? :D)_

 _ **Anonymous** : Thanks for your encourgaments! More cuteness will arrive in like, every chapter..._

 _ **Tamani** : I'm adding little bits about Kiku here and there but I'll have to wrtie a chapter with a long-ass explanations and flashhbacks and stuff at some ponit... Hinata is short for a boy but I think he IS taller than Yachi (and Noya). It's still... at least that! XD But yeah, he'd be pleased to be taller than Kiku. I CAN'T WAIT TO INTRODUCE KYOUTANI IF YOU KNOW! LLIKE KIKU BEING SLIGHTLY FRIGHTENED BY HIM AT FIRST AND KYOUTANI BEING HIS USUAL SELF BUT THEN HAJIME ARRIVES AND HE IS LIKE OH YOU MET MY GIRLFRIEND THIS IS AKIYAMA KIKU AND BLAH BLAHH BLAH AND THEN KYOUTANI BECOMES N°1 SHIPPER AND HE EVEN BEATS OIKAWA AND US ALL AND THEN HE JUST PROTECTS KIKU BECAUSE SHE'S THE PRECIOUS GIRLFRIEND OF THE ONLY MAN HE RESPECTS ON THIS DAMN WOLFY TEAM. Sorry... I got a bit excited... XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XI : Quiet Jealousy

" _I can't think of a better way to revenge someone who tried to break you, than to live and love life more without them."_

— **Innocent Mwatsikesimbe, Live & Remember**

" _Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee."_

― **J.R. Ward, Dark Lover**

" _What? Just because I can't have you right now, doesn't mean I'm okay with him having you."_

― **Cora Carmack, Losing It**

" _Jealousy isn't a pleasant quality, but if it isn't overdone (and if it's combined with modesty), apart from its inconvenience there's even something touching about it."_

― **Milan Kundera, Laughable Loves**

"Iwaizumi!"

The Ace startled when Coach Irihata suddenly called him. His teammates all stopped as well and everyone glanced at the coach sitting on his usual bench, frowning lightly and arms crossed over his chest, Mizoguchi just behind him.

"Here it comes…" Hanamaki murmured to his friends with a smirk.

"I think I know _who_ will actually eat our jersey," Matsukawa added, glancing at Iwaizumi who totally ignored him and calmly approached the coach.

"Yes, coach?" He asked, stopping in front of the man.

It was rare of the coach to wear such a disapproval look upon his face – and most of the times it was against the silliness of the _other_ third-years, not Iwaizumi.

"I've heard you skipped class almost all day with a classmate. Is this true?" Irihata asked with a voice way too calm to be reassuring.

Iwaizumi hesitated. He knew his and Kiku's absence wouldn't go unnoticed, he had just hoped that his coach didn't care enough to bring it up – usually when someone skipped class or practice, it wasn't mentioned again. Irihata and Mizoguchi followed the _"it'll pay you back later"_ method – which was usually proved right.

Deciding to bet on honesty, Hajime squared lightly his shoulders and nodded.

"Yes, I have." He admitted.

He hadn't expected Irihata to yell at him – it wasn't his head coach's style, it was Mizoguchi's. But Iwaizumi was still surprised when the head coach sighed deeply, closing his eyes before looking back at him.

"Look, I don't usually care about what you guys do outside of the volleyball club. I don't concern myself with your scholar results either, as long as you don't have supplementary classes that would have consequences on your practices. But don't drag other students if you skip class."

Iwaizumi hesitated once again, stunned by this strange scolding. It was as if Irihata wasn't irritated by the skipping class in itself – but the involvement of Kiku. So far, Irihata hadn't cared about his players' love lives so why would he care about Iwaizumi's? Not that the coach knew it was actually 'love'. Or Kiku, or Hajime himself – no one really thought about it as 'love' (yet). The only time girls were mentioned by Irihata was when the trouble coming from Oikawa's fans kept interrupting practices or stopping him before matches.

"As long as you don't skip class again with Akiyama-san, I'm fine." Irihata concluded with a sigh.

Hajime took it as a dismiss and he actually started turning around before changing his mind and looking back at Coach Irihata.

"With all due respect, sir… If I feel like skipping class again with Akiyama-san, I _will_. If I consider it necessary, of course." He said boldly.

His teammates who had been eavesdropping gasped at the unusual boldness of their Ace with their Coaches – he usually obeyed them without trouble. As for Mizoguchi and Irihata – definitely not used to Iwaizumi of all people being so… blunt with them – opened wide eyes and it took them a moment to find an answer.

"O-oi, don't go and say stuff like that, Iwaizumi!" Mizoguchi started, frowning, "Skipping class is forbidden and therefore, you should be–"

He was stopped by Irihata who lifted up his hand, frowning once again at Iwaizumi, but this time, for some reason, the Ace didn't feel like the coach was frowning at _him_.

"Why do you say that? _'Necessary'?_ Why did you skip class exactly?" Irihata asked with a tense voice.

Surprised, Hajime blinked before answering, trying to keep his voice from wavering – not because he'd hesitate in saying the truth about the bullying, but because it was just too surprising to see his coach reacting in such a way.

"Um… Akiyama-san was bullied… She didn't want to go back to class and I… didn't want to leave her alone…"

"Kiku-chan was bullied?" Mizoguchi repeated with wide eyes.

Shocked that his second coach would be so familiar about the girl, Iwaizumi threw him a confused look. Before he could form a thought about it, though, Irihata continued looking even more irritated than before:

"Why didn't you just tell the teacher about the bullying to settle this story correctly? Instead of running away and skipping class the way you did?"

"Ah, b-because, uh…"

Hajime rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

 _Because other than the fact that Kiku couldn't possibly face them, I actually treated these bullies with the same respect they did Kiku and I would have been punished as well and in this case, I wouldn't be able to help her out? Because it'd probably give a bad reputation to Kiku even more? Because bullies aren't scared of teachers and it'd make things worse?_

"Uuh…" He hesitated, now cursing himself for saying anything about the bullies.

Seeing him struggle, Oikawa finally reacted – he stopped watching in amusement and suddenly appeared beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Coach! With all due respect, Iwa-chan only acted to make sure Kiku-chan was all right! She was very troubled and needed to get away from the school grounds so he helped her get some fresh air. Of course… Kiku-chan or Iwa-chan both should have gone and tell the teacher about the bullies… but someone _did_ , so in the end, everything is fine, right? Kiku-chan felt better with the help of Iwa-chan and the bullies will be punished for their actions."

Irihata stared for a long moment at the Captain, knowing damn well that behind this polite smile and sweet words lied a hidden truth. A truth only known by the teenagers apparently.

"…I suppose that _yes_ , everything is all right now. But next time something like that happens, tell the teachers instead of skipping class." Irihata said with a hard voice.

"I doubt it'll happen ever again. No need to worry, coach!" Oikawa chirped positively.

"Back to practice if it's settled then," Mizoguchi ordered, waving them off and sending a glare at the rest of the team that had been watching the whole show.

As soon as Iwaizumi and Oikawa were out of earshot, the Ace leaned towards his friend, speaking so the coaches wouldn't hear:

"Oi, is this true someone told the teachers? Did _you?"_ He asked darkly.

"How do you think Coach Irihata heard about it otherwise?" Oikawa shrugged before continuing calmly, "But no, I'm not the one who talked about it."

"Then who did?"

"If my source is exact, it's Shi-chan who did~" Oikawa answered.

"Shi… who?" Iwaizumi asked, frowning lightly.

"Yukimura Shinobu," Tooru sighed.

Shocked once again, Hajime blinked. He had been surprised that Yukimura would _actually_ think of Kiku's sake earlier and help bring her stuff while she was taking her shower. But that she'd go and tell the teachers the truth… perhaps she had _really_ wanted to stop the bullying from happening but hadn't dared.

 _The next day…_

Iwaizumi worried when he didn't see Kiku at her desk but tried not to let it get to him. The few students who were there turned to him, their eyes staring for a very short moment before looking away, not wanting to bring upon them the wrath of Iwaizumi Hajime. Noticing Fujioka Masami trying to appear as small as possible, he was tempted to throw a biting remark but it wasn't his style – though, he was sure Oikawa would have already done that if he were here. But what – or rather _who_ – caught his eye was sitting towards the front of the class, reading a book.

"Oi." Iwaizumi said, approaching the girl.

Yukimura Shinobu looked up at him, half-surprised but trying to hide it. There were some emotions in her eyes he couldn't quite read.

"Good morning, Iwaizumi-san."

"…Morning," he grumbled before frowning lightly, "Is this true what you did yesterday? You told the teachers?"

"Don't worry, I didn't mention your actions against the bullies, you won't be punished," she answered, turning back towards her book already.

He stared at her, but understanding she wouldn't add anything else and he should probably be grateful – by her generous actions and not saying about _his_ actions, he hesitated. Iwaizumi was about to thank her when she glanced back up at him, a curious expression on her face.

"You know… You two are very alike."

"Uh?"

"Oikawa-san and you. You are more alike than most people think." She cleared, staring at him right in the eyes.

"Eeeeh?! Oikawa and I?! No way! We're nothing alike!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, frowning and looking down at the girl who didn't seem impressed by the way he raised his voice.

Before Yukimura could add anything, some sort of heavy atmosphere fell on the room. There was no sound but everyone could clearly hear the steps of the person everyone's gazes had been instinctively attracted to.

"Kiku…" Hajime said under his breath.

He glanced back at Yukimura who gave him a side smile:

"Go." She whispered, nodding towards the girl.

He frowned but, too worried for his friend, he followed her order.

Iwaizumi tried not to hurry but it was obvious his steps were impatient to reach Kiku. She had already sat at her table, fumbling with her skirt, looking down and trying hard to ignore everyone's gazes on her, whispers starting to raise around the classroom.

"Look, it's Akiyama…"

"She came…"

"Iwaizumi-san stayed with her all day yesterday I heard…"

"Eh? Is it _true?"_

"Does this mean these two… _y'know_ …"

"Eeew… what the hell?"

"Akiyama-san, good morning! How do you feel today?" Iwaizumi asked loudly to shut everyone up, ignoring the way his cheeks were suddenly aflame from everyone's suggestions.

Kiku seemed shocked to see him, and mostly, to see him saluting her so eagerly, so happily. She was hidden from everyone's view thanks to his body making a wall.

Knowing that this proximity, this way of standing was giving them some sort of privacy, Hajime looked right into her dark blue eyes.

 _Are you ok? You slept well? You didn't think too much about these bullies? You went home safely yesterday? Do you need anything – drink, food, me to punch these bullies for you? I'm here so don't worry_ … He told her silently, just with the strength of his gaze.

"G-go… good m-morning… I-Iwaizumi-san…" She greeted back, eyes cast down.

He cursed her stammering – after they had progressed so much, she was back to being this nervous wreck around him, all because of the bullies and everyone's attention on her at the moment.

"I…"

She hesitated, glancing back up at him, eyes blinking to chase away the angry tears – she knew _why_ she was so anxious and she _didn't_ want to stammer, but she couldn't help it…

Hajime didn't look impatient or nervous, he simply kept staring at her with a patient, encouraging smile. It was all Kiku needed to find the strength to continue despite knowing that everyone was looking and listening. She even smiled a little.

"I-I'm fine… I had wonderful dreams last night. W-what about you?"

Hajime grinned widely but his joyful expression remained hidden from everyone – except for Kiku whose eyes started sparkling happily just to see him.

"Great." He answered.

He moved towards his desk and the two shared a knowing smile. The curious whispers were ignored until the classmates decided that there was no point in talking about any of this anymore – these two weren't reacting or giving any hint of their relationship, and they didn't want to anger Iwaizumi _again_. The only person who continued staring at the two, who were quietly chatting about the movie they had seen the day before, was Yukimura Shinobu.

At the end of the day, because Kiku didn't want to go to her own club, Iwaizumi decided to accompany her. Just to make sure she'd be safe and sound. Just as they were exiting the main building, they came across Oikawa who was walking towards the gymnasiums.

"Oikawa!" Iwaizumi called.

The setter stopped and turned around just as the couple joined him.

"Iwa-chan~ Kiku-chan~ How are you?" Oikawa asked, glancing down at Kiku.

She nodded with a soft smile, not daring to speak up. Seeing that Iwaizumi didn't seem particularly worried, Oikawa decided everything was probably settled.

"U-um…" Kiku hesitated, attracting the two young men's attention on her, "O-Oikawa-san, I-I wanted to thank you for what you did yesterday… I've heard from I-Iwaizumi-san what you did, s-so… thank you…" She said, bowing.

"Ah, it's no problem!" Oikawa quickly said, waving his hand as she straightened up.

"Oikawa, I'll accompany Akiyama to her bus station. I should be on time at practice though, so here are the keys," Iwaizumi said, giving the tinkling keys to his friend.

"All right~ If you're late, I'll explain to Coach~" Oikawa added with a wink.

He glanced down at Kiku at this and she quickly looked away, flushing. Iwaizumi glanced between the two, trying to understand what just happened. Why would he wink? Why… would she blush because of that…?

"Oikawa! Iwaizumi!"

They all turned to Coach Irihata just as he exited the main building as well. He seemed surprised to see Kiku hidden behind Iwaizumi but she remained as silent as a ghost, avoiding his gaze.

"Here's a paper you'll need to fill by the end of the week for the club," Irihata said, giving it to Oikawa.

"Aye~" He answered, putting the paper in his bag.

"Then, I'll go ahead," Iwaizumi said with a nod towards Oikawa who waved at the couple.

Iwaizumi turned around, Kiku running to keep up with his long legs until he slowed down for her. They walked away under the happy gaze of Oikawa and the curious one of Irihata.

"…They know each other?" He asked, glancing at Oikawa who tried not to appear too suspicious.

"Of course they know each other, they're in the same class and Iwa-chan took care of Kiku-chan yesterday~" He answered, keeping his answer in enough blur to not give any hint to the coach of the nature of their relationship.

"Are they skipping practice?" Irihata continued suspiciously.

"No, no! Iwa-chan just makes sure Kiku-chan gets to her bus stop safely."

Irihata seemed surprised before some sort of relieved glint appeared in his eyes.

"I see. I'll go open the gymnasium's doors then." Irihata said, walking towards the gymnasium.

Oikawa smiled to himself before taking a similar direction, a few meters behind.

 _The next day, at break…_

Kiku threw a quick look around the class 6 of the third-years but her target wasn't seen. She clutched her little paper bag against her chest, pouting as she looked around but didn't find who she was looking for. She didn't dare ask anyone in the class and no one noticed her either.

Sighing, Kiku turned around to go back to her own classroom when she bumped into someone.

"My~ Kiku-chan~" Oikawa hummed.

"O-Oikawa-san!" Kiku exclaimed before realizing that her scream had attracted the attention of several people on both of them.

Oikawa had noticed the girl glancing around his classroom just as he was coming back there, curious about her intentions, he had remained behind until she'd bump into him.

"If you are looking for Iwa-chan, we're not together this lunch – I have forgotten something in my bag so he went ahead at the cafeteria~" Oikawa continued happily.

"I… T-thanks you b-but, I'm not… looking for Iwaizumi-san…" Kiku murmured, clenching the paper bag.

Oikawa blinked curiously, realizing that if she had been looking into _his_ classroom – she had probably been looking for _him_.

"I-I was l-looking for you…" She continued, still looking down.

 _I hate being right, why am I always so right?_ Oikawa thought, suddenly uneasy.

He was used to girls looking for him and shyly stand in front of him – it usually meant a confession or an embarrassed attempt at giving him something homemade. He didn't mind most of the time – except the two times the girl confessing to him had been Iwaizumi's long-time crushes (his only two crushes other than Kiku). Oikawa hated it when it happened – that a girl Iwaizumi liked but was too shy to talk to would fall for _him_ instead of his friend. He had been sure that with Kiku-chan, she'd fall in love with Iwa-chan but now…

"Look, Kiku-chan, you're a nice girl but I… am not interested in you," Oikawa started in a quiet voice so that no one else would hear but the girl.

Stunned, Kiku blinked at him, as if she couldn't believe what he just said.

"Me neither. Why would I be interested in you?" She asked, tilting her head on a side in confusion.

 _Damn, that stings!_ Oikawa thought, even if he wasn't interested in Kiku.

He kept his smile plastered on his face, trying to appear nice despite the slight grunting noise he had made from the harsh words of the girl. It was definitely a first – a girl not interested in him _at all_.

"N-no, I… I was looking for you to ask you something…"

"Mm?" Oikawa said, curious once again.

"Y-you know… I-Iwaizumi-san… better than anyone, r-right…?" Kiku asked, blushing at the thought of the wing-spiker.

"Well, yes, I do. AH!" Oikawa exclaimed, understanding what she was getting to.

Putting his hands on his hips, he leaned down with a smug grin on his face:

"Let me guess~ You want me to answer questions about Iwa-chan because you're too embarrassed to ask him yourself, neh, Kiku-chan~?" He continued, now realizing that it made so much more sense this way.

Stunned once again that he'd guess what was her intentions, Kiku nodded sheepishly. Before she could continue, though, Oikawa continued, straightening up and lifting up a finger as if proving his point:

"Well~ It'd be my pleasure BUT I'd rather have you ask Iwa-chan directly~ I won't answer any of your questions because you have to find out on your own, Kiku-chan~" He said proudly, not wanting to miss the chance of these two spending time together.

Kiku watched him closely, her eyes enigmatic and much more intense than usually. Or maybe it simply was because for once, she wasn't looking away from Tooru's face. Slowly, he grew uncomfortable by her intense staring and he wondered for a short moment if it was what Iwa-chan and his teammates had referred to the "demon eyes".

Then, quietly, Kiku handed Tooru her paper bag, still staring right into his eyes.

"Mmm? What's this?" He asked curiously, taking and opening the bag.

"My price of the bargain, Oikawa-san. In exchange of your answer." Kiku said with a smile.

"I just said I wouldn't answer any of your…"

Oikawa's voice trailed off when he opened completely the bag and threw a curious look in it. He froze completely, eyes widening and sparkling as he recognized the oh-so-familiar milk bread he loved so much waiting just for him. He could already smell the scent of the sweet patisserie he would die for.

He glanced back at Kiku but understood from her gaze and calculating smile that she _knew_ she had gotten him with his sweet tooth and most defining weakness: his infinite love for milk bread. She would not let him go away with the milk bread if he wasn't answering her question – and there was no way he could give up the milk bread now that he had seen it.

"…Ok. But _one_ answer." He gave up, frowning lightly – partly at himself and partly at Kiku for knowing how to persuade him.

"Perfect, I only have one question," she answered with a delighted smile.

Oikawa grumbled to himself, before holding closer the bag of milk bread – he wouldn't take the risk she'd take it away.

"All right, I'm listening." Oikawa said, wanting to get this over with so he could eat this delicious milk bread.

Kiku smiled happily.

Unbeknownst to Oikawa and Akiyama, Iwaizumi was just exiting the boys' restrooms when he caught sight of the two of them, talking to each other. And the girl giving the setter a paper bag that obviously made Oikawa very happy. Hajime clenched his fists before turning around, more sad than angry.

* * *

 _Don't worry - no tension to come between anyone and anyone._

 _Next chapter... as soon as I have rested a bit... ^^"_

 _Probably next week. The title is "Milk Bread" but I might change it, dunno, not satisfied with it..._

 _Hope you enjoyed this chapter~_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	12. Milk Bread

_Waaaaaah! Over 100 REVIEWS! THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE! :D_

 _Thank youf or the follows and the favorites as well! :D_

 _ **HaPPy2901** : The worst part is that Iwaizumi would want so badly for Kiku to be happy that he'd happily let her be with someone else if it meant she'd be happy. Oikawa and Iwaizumi will have a bit of a face-to-face at some point about Kiku! ;)  
_

 _ **Guest** : We'll know Kiku's relation to Irihata later. ;)  
_

 _ **Tamani** : Oikawa and Iwaizumi are too friends and too close to be pulled apart for a girl, no matter what happens. But that sure is interesting to see! ;) I can't wait to put Kyoutani in now! / Kiku is an unexpected professional in blackmailing - she'll definitely use it without any remorse against everyone on the volleyball team (except Iwa-chan because she loves him too much for that)  
_

 _ **Houshikun001** : There aren't much cliffhanger in this story - but there WILL be a big cliffhanger towards the end of the story! ;)  
_

 _ **FanFictionAddiction4EVER** : Oikawa's milk bread is essential for him to function normally. I am SO HAPPY that you can enjoy reading about Oikawa despite him being your least favorite character! :D It makes me very proud of myself! I hadn't thought of it, but I'll try adding some Aone and Kiku bonding moment! ;)  
_

 _ **justanoddone** : I'm honoured you reviewed MY fanfiction when you don't usually do so! Thank you! :D  
_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : It won't be a misunderstanding for long, don't worry! ;) And every time I read your reviews, I read "how does the couch know Kiku?" I was like "But wait Kiku and Hajime aren't together yet and even if they were and argued, he wouldn't send her ont he couch so what is she... oh. Coach. Ok. Oooooh!" (answer later ;D)  
_

 _ **Yunrii** : Thanks! Beofre Oikawa, there'll be Kuroo! ;)  
_

 _ **Chancellor S** : Ah ah, chacun ses préférences~ Merci beaucoup pour ton soutien! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XII : Milk Bread

" _There's nothing stupid about wanting to be loved."_

— **Nina La Cour, Everything Leads to You**

" _I'm always soft for you, that's the problem. You could come knocking on my door five years from now and I would open my arms wider and say 'come here, it's been too long, it felt like home with you."_

— **Azra T., My Heart is Full of Open Windows**

" _I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty… you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."_

— **J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye**

" _I believe that when two people are in love with each other, you can see it in their eyes. The way they look at each other, the way they stare at each other, it's all there. Their eyes are full of admiration, of attraction, of undying feelings for each other. Their eyes twinkle, their eyes are smiling. Even if they didn't t say a word about it, there's this invisible thread connecting them two."_

— **Anonymous**

" _I hide because there's more to me than what you see and I'm not sure you'd like the rest. I know that sometimes, I don't like the rest."_

— **Thomas lain, I Wrote This For You**

At practice this day, to Oikawa, and most of their teammates' surprise, Iwaizumi seemed a little more quiet than usual. As if lost in his thoughts but whenever someone would ask him if he was all right, he'd shrug it off or say that nothing was wrong.

At some point, Iwaizumi was standing on the side, drinking water when he noticed someone entering the gymnasium. A girl. Akiyama Kiku. She looked around, two bentos in her hands, as if looking for someone. Hajime didn't dare move but his heart missed a beat when she noticed him in the distance and waved with a smile.

Forgetting what he had seen at the break earlier, Hajime couldn't help but wave back with a giddy, stupid smile.

"Ah, Kiku-chan!"

Iwaizumi startled as Coach Mizoguchi – who had just called Kiku so familiarly – walked past him. Mizoguchi glanced at him curiously and Hajime blushed terribly before quickly acting as if his hand had been up for rubbing the back of his neck – not at all waving at Kiku when she had been waving at _Mizoguchi_. It was so embarrassing to be wrong about such a thing, Iwaizumi didn't dare look at Mizoguchi or Kiku, or _anyone_ _…!_

The young coach ran over to the girl and after exchanging some words and smiles, Kiku gave Mizoguchi the bentos. Then the coach turned around as Coach Irihata was coming and all three started talking to themselves.

"…How the hell does she know them? Why are they so familiar with Kiku?" Hajime grumbled, frowning as he glared at the two coaches from afar.

Oikawa and the other third-years glanced at each other before looking in the same direction as their Ace, realizing why he was so grumpy.

"Eh? You mean, you don't know?" Oikawa asked, but he wasn't heard by Iwaizumi, too busy glaring at Mizoguchi to listen to his friend.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa both grinned, trying to hold back their amused chuckles.

"Should we tell him _or…?"_ Hanamaki asked in a low voice to Oikawa.

"It'd be cruel not to tell him before he starts imagining things." Matsukawa added.

The three third-years glanced at each other, silently agreeing to _not_ say a thing to their friend.

"Ah, well, communication is essential in a couple – it'll teach Iwa-chan to talk to Kiku-chan~" Oikawa hummed, trying to find a good excuse to his teasing.

The others watched Iwaizumi growing more and more frustrated as he saw Mizoguchi touch familiarly Kiku's shoulder, many thoughts and theories going through his head in the same time.

"Oikawa! Iwaizumi!" Irihata called.

The Ace startled, too lost in his thoughts. He glanced very quickly at a smiling Oikawa and followed his Captain to their two coaches just as Kiku walked away without a look in Iwaizumi's direction.

"The Golden Week approaches and I was thinking to make the team have a practice match at the end of it. A team has requested a practice match for the Golden Week – Wakutani Minami High-school. You're both okay with it?"

"I see no problem," Iwaizumi grumbled, his tone making Irihata raise a curious eyebrow but he didn't comment on the Ace's bad mood.

"Wakutani Minami High-school has a rising level – their Captain is called the new Small Giant~ It'll be interesting~" Oikawa agreed with a nod.

"Though, Karasuno's number ten might quickly take over this title of Small Giant," Mizoguchi commented with a smile.

"I'll distribute all the papers for the Golden Week's information tomorrow then," Irihata decided.

"Yes!" The Captain and Vice-Captain exclaimed as answer before walking back to their team.

As Oikawa was talking about the nearing Golden Week and the practice match against Wakutani Minami, the teammates exchanged opinions and thoughts about the team. Only Iwaizumi glanced several times at the gymnasium's entrance, half-hoping he'd see Kiku come back. For _him_ , this time.

The next day, for once, Iwaizumi had joined Oikawa for his morning run. They often ran together but there were times when Iwaizumi was too tired or didn't get enough sleep to go for a run – this time, even without sleeping much, thoughts of Kiku and Mizoguchi together haunting him all night, he _needed_ running. Oikawa decided to change their usual running path and Hajime only followed, not really caring where they were running.

At the end, running _did_ help Iwaizumi relax and empty his mind from all of his love troubles.

"Neh, Iwa-chan, we still have some time before having to head for home and go to morning practice, mind if I go get some milk bread?" Oikawa asked as they were walking, sweating from their run and checking the time.

"I don't care, you always take milk bread on the way home anyway. But is there any bakery around here?" Iwaizumi asked, glancing around.

He knew this neighborhood enough to not get lost but he had no idea if there were any bakery for Oikawa's milk bread.

"I know one! Come, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed excitedly, walking forward eagerly.

Hands in his pockets, the Ace followed his friend as he turned a corner. Hajime blinked, recognizing some of the houses.

"Hey, we're near Hanamaki's house. Perhaps we could run around here more often to drag him in our running?" Iwaizumi proposed.

"Mm~" Oikawa agreed, a few steps ahead.

Iwaizumi didn't look twice, only followed Oikawa, into a bakery. The warmth and nice smells of the place woke up instantly all the senses of the two young men. Someone was behind the counter, kneeling to organize something and apparently, the little ringing of the door as Oikawa and Iwaizumi had entered hadn't been enough to warn the person of their presence.

"Kiku! Can you take care of the customers?" A woman voice came from a back room.

"Kiku?" Iwaizumi repeated, blinking and opening wide eyes.

The person behind the counter rose and Kiku met Oikawa and Iwaizumi's eyes. She stiffened before smiling brightly upon seeing them (mostly Iwaizumi).

"Iwaizumi-san!" She exclaimed.

"Kiku-chan~ What a nice surprise~ I didn't know you were working a part-time job~" Oikawa exclaimed as he approached the counter, ignoring the fact that she had eyes only for the Wing-spiker.

"A-ah, no! I-it's the family bakery, I-I'm only helping out my parents every once in a while…" Kiku murmured, blushing in embarrassment.

She looked down and Hajime swallowed hard. He recalled the previous day when Kiku had given Oikawa a paper bag with something in it – once again, she was acting shy and embarrassed in front of the Captain.

But then, Kiku glanced at Iwaizumi, his heart missed a beat and he realized that she wasn't acting shy because of Oikawa. But because of _him?_

"My~ That explains the name of this bakery, wouldn't it? 'Akiyama Bakery'?" Oikawa continued before walking near the patisserie and types of breads displayed.

But no one listened to him or reacted to his words. Both Kiku and Hajime were staring at each other, cheeks flushed and small smiles starting to appear on their faces.

Then, a memory from the day Kiku was bullied came back to Hajime and he crunched up his nose.

" _Kiku-chan~! Tell me~ With flour, what else do you add to bake cake? Gross, sickening cakes!"_

He looked back with slightly widened eyes at the girl, understanding falling on him.

"What the others said the other day…" He started, voice trailing off.

Understanding what he was referring to, Kiku smiled sadly with a little shrug:

"Because my family owns a bakery, people have a tendency of thinking I eat patisserie all the time, which would explain… _this_ …" She said, pointing at her body.

The way she said _'this'_ , the way her eyes darkened a short moment and how her smile faltered before it looked forced… Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi could tell she disliked her body as much as others reminded her constantly that she wasn't fit enough to their tastes.

Oikawa glanced at Iwaizumi to see his reaction, he was frowning and was about to say something to Kiku when she continued. She looked to the side, to all the bread and patisserie on display.

"Ah, well, I'm lactose intolerant and allergic to peanuts… Even if I wanted to, most of these things, I can't eat." She concluded with a smile that was closer to her usual one.

She still looked bitter though – for being judged when people didn't know she was allergic.

"I didn't know you were…" Iwaizumi hesitated, not imagining a world in which he wouldn't eat peanuts, almonds or milk.

"L-la… lactose intolerant?!" Oikawa shouted, a frightened look on his face and taking a few steps back.

Both turned to him as tears filled his eyes:

"T-then… you never… ate milk bread…?" He whispered.

"…No?" Kiku answered hesitantly, not understanding his reaction.

"T-this is…! This is so sad!" He continued while Iwaizumi shook lightly his head, "In the name of your bravery, Kiku-chan, let me eat milk bread for you!"

"You definitely don't have to…" Kiku said but Oikawa didn't seem to listen to her as he started walking near the window displays to look for the milk bread.

"We came here for your milk bread, idiot," Iwaizumi reminded him – once again, he was ignored.

"AH! Milk bread~!" Oikawa exclaimed happily when he found the breakfast of his dreams.

He grabbed some money in his pockets and smashed it down on the counter, making poor Kiku startle as Oikawa stared at her with wide, crazy eyes and a huge, excited smile.

"Give me all of your milk breads!" He exclaimed.

"Eh? A-all of it?" She hesitated, blinking.

"Even for you, that's a bit much, Oikawa," Iwaizumi said, frowning lightly before turning towards Kiku, "Give him only two, he won't keep up at practice if he eats too much."

"But! Iwa-chaaaan!" Oikawa whined, turning towards his friend with teary eyes.

"A-ah, all right," Kiku nodded.

She took a few steps away from the counter to prepare the order before hesitating.

"On the way or you'll stay here to eat?" She asked, making the tongs click together – Hajime thought it was a cute gesture.

"We'll rest here a bit if you don't mind," Oikawa answered, glancing at the tables and chairs around the room.

"Then, take a seat and I'll bring you your orders." Kiku said with a kind smile.

"Wah~ Thank you, Kiku-chan~" Tooru hummed before grabbing Iwaizumi's arm and dragging him to a seat.

"Do you want anything, Iwaizumi-san?" Kiku asked as she put the ordered food on a tray.

"Ah, uh… I'm not hungry, thanks," he answered, too embarrassed around the girl to eat anything.

She seemed hesitant, a little disappointed maybe? But Oikawa intervened then:

"Bring him anything other than my milk bread – _they're mine_ – he'll eat it~ Iwa-chan isn't picky with his food~" Oikawa answered.

"Oi! Don't order for me!"

"All right~" Kiku answered.

"Wait! I didn't take money with me and–"

"It's on me, Iwa-chan~"

Kiku chuckled to herself as Hajime's face crumbled, but he couldn't say no after all of that. Some time later, the girl finally arrived with the trail in her hands, putting it down on the table for the two young men.

Hajime finally took the time to look at Kiku instead of glancing around and away from her. Her hair were into two pigtails that made her look the most adorable being in the universe. She was wearing an apron with written "Akiyama Bakery" on it.

Oikawa watched impatiently as she put down a plate with his two milk bread, a paper bag on a side. She put down a plate with some croissant for Iwaizumi before adding for each boy a cup of orange juice and a warm cup of cocoa.

"We didn't order these?" Iwaizumi hesitated.

"They're on the house. That's the least I could do for the volleyball team who will take our high-school to the Nationals, right?" She continued, holding the trail against herself.

Iwaizumi couldn't help but grin happily at her absolute trust that this year, they _would_ beat Shiratorizawa Academy and go to Nationals.

He glanced back at Oikawa who was staring happily at the inside of his paper bag. Seeing his smile, it wasn't hard to figure out what was inside.

"I had told you to give him only two milk breads…" Hajime sighed.

"The ones in the paper bag are for after your morning practice," she answered.

"Unlike you, Iwa-chan, Kiku-chan is very kind and listens to my wishes~" Oikawa hummed happily.

"She's _too_ kind to you, rather," Hajime muttered, shaking lightly his head.

Deciding not to listen to his best friend, Oikawa took his milk bread and bit in it happily. He munched joyfully, sparkling in joy to finally have happiness in his mouth. Iwaizumi would have expected Kiku to go back behind the counter after delivering their orders but she remained by their sides. She watched Hajime expectantly, almost bouncing up and down. He threw her a curious, slightly flustered glance, and finally she voiced out the reasons of her staying:

"I-I m-made these myself this morning…" She murmured, blushing even more and glancing at the croissant.

"O-oh," Hajime muttered, looking at the croissant on his plate.

He wanted to eat it in front of Kiku and tell her how good it tasted but Oikawa was staring at him knowingly despite his cheeks round and munching his milky bread.

Iwaizumi blushed and took the croissant before munching at it hesitantly. He glanced up at a blushing, nervous Kiku before smiling.

"I-it's delicious…"

Overjoyed, Kiku grinned and bounced up and down.

"Take all the time you need here! I'm right there if you need anything!" She exclaimed happily.

She was about to turn around and bounce over behind the counter when a back door opened.

"My~ Kiku! Who are these handsome young men?" A woman asked, coming closer after wiping off some flour from her hands on the apron.

"M-mom!" Kiku exclaimed, flushing in embarrassment.

Oikawa – being the curious being that he was – and Iwaizumi – who couldn't help but be a tiny bit curious about Kiku's family – both leaned in order to look at the woman. She was petite and had curly, light brown hair with kind brown eyes.

"Do you know them?" Kiku's mother asked, arriving near her daughter.

"A-ah, um… t-they're… um…"

Kiku looked down, embarrassment tying her tongue but her mother waited patiently for the girl to find the courage to talk. When her mother hadn't been around, Kiku had been able to actually talk without much stuttering to the two boys – proving that she was getting closer to them and feeling more at ease.

"I am Oikawa Tooru – Captain of the volleyball team, you may have heard of me~" Oikawa introduced himself confidently, standing up and bowing respectfully to Kiku's mom.

"Indeed I have!" She answered.

Iwaizumi had been about to stand up and introduce himself but hearing these comments made him stiffen. Did it mean Kiku talked about Oikawa to her mother? Did it mean just as Hajime feared? That Kiku might actually have a crush on Oikawa?

Realizing that he hadn't reacted at all despite all gazes turned to him, Hajime stood up abruptly, bowing too suddenly for his moves to be natural.

"I-Iwaizumi Hajime! Nice to meet you… Akiyama… san…" He said before glancing at Oikawa and Kiku hesitantly.

Kiku was avoiding his gaze, or Oikawa's, and was moving around nervously.

"Iwa-chan is one of Kiku-chan's classmate," Oikawa added with a smile, "He is also part of the volleyball club! He is our reliable Ace!"

Iwaizumi threw a _"would you shut up now"_ glare at his friend who, as per usual, completely ignored him.

"Oh… I'm glad to meet some of Kiku's friends, at long last." Her mother said before remembering she hadn't introduced herself yet, "I am Akiyama Nanami, thank you for taking care of my daughter."

"Don't worry, she's in safe hands with Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed with a chuckle.

Iwaizumi's eyes widened as he glared at his friend, holding back a punch for this comment while Kiku looked as far away as possible, blushing terribly. Nanami watched the two boys, and especially Hajime closely, as if trying to figure out what sort of person he was and mostly, if he was good enough for her daughter but finally, she smiled.

"Then, I–"

"Nanami! Could you come and help me out with the dough, I'm still not…"

A man's voice trailed off as, after stepping out of the back door, he realized that his family was not alone. Everyone turned towards Kiku's father who stared defiantly at the two young men who were standing a little too close to his daughter (meaning in less than a twenty meters radius) to his taste.

"Who are these weaklings?" He asked in a hard voice.

"Dear, please, don't be so rude," Nanami scolded why Kiku looked like she wanted to bury herself.

Kiku's father came closer, into the room, and both Oikawa and Iwaizumi swallowed hard. They were volleyball players, they were taller than average and were confident about their imposing statures and strength. But when Kiku's father came and towered over them, they felt like tiny children who had misbehaved and should be punished. _Imposing_ or _tall_ weren't strong enough words to describe the giant of a man he was. He was well over two meters tall, shoulders so broad he was twice larger than Iwaizumi (who has already quite broad). The man had short dark hair, graying with age, and strong features. His neck and arms were so muscular it was a miracle his shirt wasn't exploding.

"D-dad…" Kiku whined, paling a little when she realized her father was giving the two boys his intimidating glare.

"H-hello… sir…" Oikawa started, a little less confident than usual because he was pretty sure a punch from this man would send him in the moon, and he actually _looked_ like he wanted to punch him, "I-I am Oikawa Tooru, one of Kiku's… uh, friend… and this is…"

He elbowed Iwaizumi who startled out of his staring at the biceps of the man with a mix of envy and worry for his own life.

"Iwaizumi… Hajime…" He introduced himself.

He hesitated in adding something but Kiku's father frowned lightly, shutting him up before he could. It was rare Iwaizumi felt impressed by someone… but Kiku's father was definitely the impressive (read: _scary_ ) type.

"Akiyama Shouta. What are you doing here?" He asked suspiciously, glancing protectively at his daughter.

"Dad! They're customers! Don't talk to them like that!" Kiku exclaimed, "You have to finish the breads! Go, now! Come on!" She exclaimed, starting to push him back towards the door but the mountain of muscles was unmovable, "Please! Just _go!_ You're embarrassing me!"

"Dear, let's go and leave them alone~" Nanami said, taking his hand and pulling him behind her.

"They're not scared enough," Shouta replied, glancing over his shoulder at the two boys.

" _Don't_ scare them at all!" Kiku exclaimed.

"I am more than scared enough," Oikawa murmured, Iwaizumi nodding a little.

Finally, with Nanami's pulling and Kiku's pushing, Shouta went back in the kitchen. But the two parents definitely watched by the little round window everything that was going on in the front of the bakery.

"I… I am so sorry…" Kiku murmured, bowing in apology to the two young men.

"I-it's all right… um, just out of curiosity… what kind of sports does your father practice to have such muscles?" Iwaizumi asked, sounding a little envious.

"Rugby… He's very proud of his skills also. So don't talk about it to him, otherwise he won't stop talking…" She answered, shoulders dropping, "Also, he thinks that volleyball is a sports for little girls…"

"Of course he does," Oikawa said, blinking lightly, "You know what, we have to move. We need to go… take showers and get changed before morning practice." He exclaimed, checking the hour which was much later than they had thought upon entering the bakery, "Thanks for the milk bread! I'll come back for them! Iwa-chan, come on, we'll be late!" Oikawa exclaimed, grabbing his paper bag with milk breads.

"Ah, uh, yeah…" He nodded.

Hajime glanced quickly at Kiku, bowed to her, then left. He quickly caught up with his friend, sending him a harsh glare while Oikawa was innocently munching on his third milk bread.

"You decided to run over here on purpose, didn't ya?"

"Aren't you glad, Iwa-chan? You met your future parents-in-law!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"AS IF!" He shouted, blushing bright red.

Especially considering the way Akiyama Shouta had looked at him. He definitely didn't want anyone dating, or touching, or talking, or _breathing_ near his daughter.

Kiku waved them goodbye from the bakery's door as the two boys had to run back home to be on time.

As soon as they were out of view, she immediately whipped around to glare at the round window where she saw her parents' faces. They startled and tried to get away just as she stomped over to the table recently left to put away all the cups and plates. A short moment later, Nanami and Shouta exited the back room, both looking a little apologetic.

"We're sorry, Kiku, we shouldn't have acted like that," Nanami started before elbowing her husband.

"Ah _yes_. I don't trust these kids, but… I shouldn't have done that."

"It doesn't matter anyway! They'll never talk to me again after that…" She muttered in painful embarrassment.

Nanami threw a harsh glare at her husband who opened wide eyes, looking almost dumbfounded as to why his behavior had been _"too much"._

"It's not my fault! I don't trust them, I can't help it! The first one was too pretty and the second one was too muscular! I don't trust them!"

"Shouta, dear, did you have a good look at yourself in the mirror?" Nanami continued with hands on her hips and a disapproval shake of her head.

Kiku ignored her parents' discussion as she went into the back kitchen to wash the plates and the tray.

Nanami and Shouta glanced at each other just as she came back behind the counter quickly, finishing to organize what she had been doing before the two boys had come in.

"Kiku… do they know about you and… your situation?" Nanami asked worriedly.

Kiku's hands stopped moving and slowly, she stood up before pulling at the apron's knot in her back.

"I have to get ready for school…" She murmured, taking off the apron and taking another door to go upstairs.

Her parents glanced at each other worriedly, Shouta rubbing the back of his muscular neck guiltily.

"She hadn't closed off in months… it's our fault…" Shouta muttered.

" _Your_ fault, you mean…" Nanami sighed before going behind the counter as some customers came in.

Shouta didn't deny it.

* * *

 _Lots of things happening in this chapter~ Tell me what you think~_

 _For the ones who don't read Sowlmates: here is the Hajime and Kiku's song "Rockbell" from CHiCO and the Honeyworks. ;)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	13. Blind to the Obvious

_Chapter for Christmas!_

 _Thnk you to everyone who followed and favorited! :D_

 _ **. :** I'm glad you like this story so far! :) I have no bloody idea what milk bread tastes like... I've heard it's like French pain au lait (which literally means 'milk bread') but tastier or something... So, it probably tastes like something close to heavens._

 _ **Tamani** : I want to add more of Shouta because his interactions with the boys, and especially Iwaizumi, will be priceless. All of them. x) Her past will be slowly, slowly revealed, and for coach and Kiku, it'll be revealed soon too! ;) "Built real solid with a cushioning layer" is such a sweet and cute way to describe Kiku~! It's perfect~! :D I now WANT her to beat Kyoutani in arm wrestling! I might write this actually... (if you let me, considering it's your idea)_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : It's all right! x) And for the answer... you'll have it next chapter! ;)_

 _ **Houshikun001** : Papa bear Shouta is A+ dad. Well, I think that Iwaizumi wouldn't let jealousy consume him - he'd shrug it off because his friendship with Oikawa is very important too and at this point, he's not dating Kiku or anything so, Oikawa's friendship is even MORE important... but if at some point it DOES bother him so much, he'd just face Oikawa and/or Kiku and that's it. He's a very straightforward boy, after all. ;)_

 _ **HaPPy2901** : You'll know what her parents meant when we'll learn about her past! ;) I'm a HUGE fan of CHiCO and the Honeyworks - but they don't make enough songs... T.T_

 _ **Lightpurple96** : Diabetic is a good theory! But it's not that! She just can't drink/eat milk-stuff (forgot the right word for it and too lazy to check it up at the moment) and she's allergic to nuts and others sutff from the same family._

 _ **Faye** : Thank you! Your review made me so happy! :D_

 _ **Cooliceprincess** : Glad you're curious! About Kiku, I presume. She'll slowly open up and we'll learn the truth. ;)_

 _ **rheascarlet** : You don't have to read my other stories, I'm happy if just this one makes YOU happy! :D_

 _ **Yunrii** : It was my favorite part too! XD Papa bear Shouta is the greatest~_

 _ **Shy guest** : Kiku's past will be explained later. I don't think Shouta would ever admit volleyball isn't a girly sports simply because he's too proud for that. If he admits that Iwa-chan isn't a weakling, it'd mean that he's strong enough for his daughter and he doesn't want that either! XD I hope you enjoyed the song~_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Che gioia di sapere che ti piacino le mie storie! :D La relazione con Kiku e l'allenatore sarà rivelata presto! I'm sorry I don't answer to everything you said and in English but I'm exhausted and I can"t think in Italian. I really, really need to practice my Italian more... _

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET WORDS

CHAPTER XIII : Blind to the Obvious

" _This is how the girl who couldn't speak and the man who couldn't see fell in love."_

― **Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin**

" _I don't think love is blind, true love is probably the most clear-eyed state of being there is._

" _Maybe you're right. Maybe with true love, you see and you love anyway…"_

― **Marisa de los Santos, Love Walked In**

"Like every year, the Golden Week's training will be held in our usual gymnasium. You will sleep in some of the high-school's classrooms. Meals will be provided for you – no junk food. Is there any question?" Mizoguchi concluded as everyone on the team read the papers with the information concerning their Golden Week training.

"Who will be cooking the meals?" Hanamaki asked, hand raised.

"I will."

Everyone growled at that fact, making the young coach frown.

"If you dislike my meals, then you won't have any!" He growled.

"It'd be so much more tasty if it was made by a cute girl…" Someone muttered in the back.

Mizoguchi clicked his tongue, hands on his hips. He was tempted to tell them to get a manager on their own – but as long as Oikawa was here, a manager on the team was forbidden (there had been a few tries on the first-year of the setter but all the potential managers ended up being his fans who ignored their duties of manager to get closer to him. It was then decided that there would be no manager as long as Oikawa was here.)

"The Golden Week will end with a practice match against Wakunan Minami High-school – a rising team of the prefecture. This a good opportunity so make sure to learn a lot about this school." Irihata added.

"Oooosss!"

"We'll take measures for the uniforms – get in line in your jersey's number order." Mizoguchi exclaimed, already holding paper, pencil and a tape measure.

For the third and second-years, their number didn't change and their uniforms wouldn't need much changing – except for the few who grew up of many centimeters in the last few weeks. It was mostly for the first-years who had never been measured before.

"Iwaizumi… your chest width is wider than last year of a few more centimeters. Do you want your uniform adjusted?" Mizoguchi asked.

"It'd be more comfortable to play, if it's tight I might not be as free in my moves."

"Got it…" Mizoguchi nodded, writing down carefully.

"How much more muscles will this man get, seriously?" Hanamaki grumbled, glancing at Iwaizumi who stared at him in confusion.

"But seriously – cooking meals, taking measures, adjusting clothes… you'd make a good wife, Mizoguchi." Matsukawa commented with his usual neutral expression.

"What did ya say?!" The coach immediately shouted, glaring at the impertinent third-years.

Oikawa, Hanamaki and Iwaizumi all chuckled while Matsukawa played the innocent. Mizoguchi decided to ignore them, continuing to measure the line of players while grumbling to himself.

"I'm not the one who'll adjust your clothes, anyway… dunno how to sew…" Mizoguchi mumbled.

"We wouldn't want our uniforms to fall off in pieces in the middle of a match, indeed…" Hanamaki said, heard only by his fellow third-years, looking terribly amused.

"Oikawa's fans would probably love it, though," Iwaizumi answered with the same expression.

"Our clothes falling off – maybe _that's_ the solution to defeat Ushiwaka, uh?" Matsukawa added.

Once again, all four laughed to themselves, trying to smother their voices to remain discreet.

Once everyone's measures were taken and the last questions had been asked and answered, the practice went as usual, even if it was a bit shorter.

"I'm going to practice a bit more before leaving," Oikawa said, joined for once by some others who didn't have enough practice this day.

"We could do a three-on-three?" Hanamaki proposed.

"Why not?" Iwaizumi agreed with a smile.

"Umm… Iwaizumi-san?"

They turned towards the entrance of the gymnasium where Yahaba was standing, changed, but looking a bit sheepish.

"Yeah?"

"…Someone is waiting for you…" Yahaba announced, a little awkwardly.

Surprised, everyone glanced at Iwaizumi who was just as confused about who could possibly wait for him. Deciding to get this over with quickly, he thanked Yahaba and went at the gymnasium entrance, ignoring his teammates who peeked curiously from the entrance.

"Kiku?" Iwaizumi said, surprised and eagerly going towards the girl who was standing just under the changing-rooms' lights.

He flushed, realizing he had just called the girl by her first name. She blushed as well before fidgeting awkwardly, holding a brown bag in her hands…

"Do you… uh, need anything?" Iwaizumi hesitated, not knowing why she'd wait for him at this hour.

"U-um… I-Iwaizumi-san…" She hesitated.

He stared at the girl, waiting for her to form the words she struggled with. Her lips kept opening and closing and for a short moment, Hajime focused only on her rosy lips and how shiny they were. She must have been using lip balm. Knowing her, probably something tasting like fruits. He was curious about the taste of her lips – not just the lip balm, but how it'd feel to kiss her.

"UGH!" He exclaimed, blushing madly when he realized his thoughts.

Confused about his strangled scream that had come out of nowhere, Kiku glanced up worriedly at the boy.

"N-nothing, g-go ahead…" He muttered after coughing awkwardly.

His heart was beating like drums, the same thought of kissing Kiku going over and over in his head with lots of other thoughts concerning kissing (not necessarily on the lips) – now was _not_ the time for his teenage hormones to get in the way and confuse his thoughts any more than they already were.

"I… u-um…"

Kiku blushed even more and it actually made Hajime curious about what she wanted so badly to tell him. She seemed so confused, shy and hesitant and–

 _OH. Is this… could it be…? Would it…? A confession?!_ Hajime started thinking frenetically, _If it is, what should I answer?! I know what I want to answer but how do I do that?! Should I kiss her after – no, stop thinking about kissing, damn it!_

His heart was still beating madly – this time, out of excitement, impatience and hope. He felt his palms go sweaty and clenched and unclenched his fists nervously. For the first time since meeting Kiku, he wished she'd just stop hesitating so badly – waiting for her words was just _torture!_

"I… Iwaizumi-san, I… here!" She exclaimed, bowing down.

He blinked, pretty sure this was _not_ a confession as he had hoped. He glanced at the brown paper bag she was handing him, wondering what it was all about. She just wanted to give him this?

Disappointed by the absence of a confession, Hajime took the bag and opened it half-heartedly. His eyes widened as he saw a white box with written on top of it "Akiyama Bakery".

"Is this…?" He hesitated.

He took out the box carefully and opened it, peeking inside. And as expected – there were four little patisserie of all kinds.

"I… I have w-wanted to give some patisserie to thank you… for everything you've done for me… Iwaizumi-san b-but… I… uh… I wasn't sure which was your favorite patisserie…" Kiku explained sheepishly, pulling at the hem of her skirt shyly.

Iwaizumi stared at the girl, noticing that the way she pulled nervously at her skirt lifted it up lightly.

 _Shut it hormones!_ He thought to himself, trying to say something but his tongue tied.

"I had hoped I'd find out your favorite patisserie b-but… I-in the end, I put several of them a-and I hope y-you'll like them – I made them myself! S-so I hope you, um… they're not as tasty as my father's b-but… I-I mean… I…"

"Thank you…" Iwaizumi finally said, cheeks burning, "I-I'm sure they'll be delicious…" He added, smiling lightly.

He scratched his cheek sheepishly, feeling incredibly happy that Kiku had taken the time to make him patisserie just as a thank you.

Glad he was taking the patisserie and didn't seem to feel weirded out, Kiku sighed in relief, a bright smile lightning up her face.

"T-then…"

She bowed to him before turning around to go home. Iwaizumi hesitated, he wanted to spend more time with her – he wanted to make sure she'd go home safely. He opened and closed his lips to call her, but didn't dare.

"Pss! Psst! _Iwa-chan!"_ Oikawa called from the gymnasium entrance, making sure not to be heard by Kiku who was getting away, "What are you doing standing there like a stupid lamp post?!"

Pissed off but grateful for his friend's intervention that took away all of his nervousness, Iwaizumi looked at the silhouette of the girl.

"Akiyama! Wait!" He shouted, running after her as she turned around, "Do you… uh… I'll walk you back to the bus stop. I-it's dark, it's dangerous…" He murmured.

"You're the most dangerous one out there, Iwaizumi!" Hanamaki exclaimed from behind, proving that the volleyball team was listening very closely.

Iwaizumi grumbled to himself while Kiku glanced between him and his friends, blushing lightly.

"Y-you have practice s-so I-I wouldn't… bother you…" She replied.

In some sort of miracle, despite the distance, Oikawa heard her and an idea hit him:

"Why don't you join us, then, Kiku-chan~?" He asked from afar, bathed in the gymnasium's light.

Everyone turned to him, a little stunned by his proposition.

"B-but…" Kiku stammered.

"This way, you'll see us practice and as soon as we're done, Iwa-chan will walk you back – he'd be too scared to play correctly otherwise…"

"Oi!" Iwaizumi exclaimed at this supplementary comment.

Kiku seemed obviously conflicted. She glanced up at Iwaizumi, her gaze showing that she wanted to spend more time with the young man. But she was too shy to actually stay with the volleyball team – even if they were down to only six boys…

"Also… we'll need a referee…" Oikawa continued, making his puppy eyes to Kiku.

The girl flinched, gasping lightly at the way he looked at her, _pleading_ her to come and help them out. Everyone turned then towards Kiku who blushed and looked down. Then, finally, slowly, she nodded hesitantly.

"I… I'll try my best…" She murmured.

"Yay~ Three-on-three~" Hanamaki happily sung, going back into the gymnasium.

"You know the rules of volleyball?" Iwaizumi asked the girl as they walked towards the gymnasium.

"I-I know the rules… Though… I might not be able to follow up everything you guys do… you are all so fast…" She continued, a light and amused smile on her face.

Iwaizumi was about to put his paper bag with patisserie on a side but, _of course,_ his friends, had to come and tease him.

"Eh, What's this~? What's this~?" Hanamaki asked, trying to get a hold of the bag.

"You listened so you already know, back off!" Iwaizumi yelled, lifting up his arm to get the bag out of reach of his fellow wing-spiker.

"Eh? Looks tasty!" Matsukawa exclaimed, grabbing the bag – bless his height while Iwaizumi cursed his short stature.

"Give it back! It's Kiku's gift for _me!_ Leave it alone!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, trying to jump to get his patisserie back.

"No fair! I want Kiku-chan's patisserie too!" Oikawa whined.

The two other third-years who had remained behind didn't dare comment, only laughing lightly at their teammates' antics.

Kiku watched them in amusement and finally, when Iwaizumi retrieved his bag and the others stopped teasing him, she dared speaking up.

"I…"

Everyone turned to her and she had to force herself to not shriek in panic.

"I-I could bring the team something… someday…" She said shyly, moving her fingers together and looking down with blushed cheeks.

Everyone looked at her with wide eyes before cheers and happy voices erupted.

"You'd do that? You're so nice~! Iwaizumi's so lucky~"

"Become our manager please!"

"I want milk bread!"

The only ones who remained calm in the overall storm were Iwaizumi and Hanamaki for very different reasons. The first one was smiling softly, glad to see Kiku get along well with the team and not being too scared.

Hanamaki, on the other hand, was shocked. He had known Kiku for years, he knew her better than Iwaizumi did – and _yet_ , she had never showed any sort of courage or will to socialize. The simple fact of accepting to help out the team for their three-on-three was surprising enough – it was _Akiyama Kiku_ , after all! The girl alone with _six_ other boys seemed like enough stress to cause her an aneurism. But she was actually willing to go even further: bringing sweets to the team – and not just the six of them, but the entire team…

Hanamaki glanced back at a love-struck Iwaizumi, sighing deeply with a hand on his hip.

"What did you do to her seriously…?" He muttered to no one in particular.

"Uh?" Iwaizumi hesitated, not understanding what his friend meant by that.

"Nothing. SO! Should we start this three-on-three or not?" Hanamaki exclaimed loudly, joining the others.

The boys decided on two teams and Kiku remained near the net with a whistle, watching the team start its improvised three-on-three. They had half-expected her to scream or cry whenever something loud was happening, but she didn't seem phased. She did jump a few times when a ball or a player suddenly appeared too close to her but other than that, she did all right. She also knew the rules of volleyball perfectly well. The only times she hesitated were when she couldn't see where a ball had landed exactly – usually the boys would argue on _"yes it's in!" "no it's not!" "you're saying that because you want the point!" "and you're saying that because YOU want the point!"_.

At some point, Iwaizumi's spike was stopped by Matsukawa who grinned proudly at him but the sound of the whistle made the team look at Kiku.

"N-net fault…" She said, pointing at Matsukawa who lost his smile.

He huffed annoyingly then looked straight at an overly cocky Iwaizumi.

"Your girlfriend is too on point. It's annoying." He muttered.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Yet~" Oikawa added.

Iwaizumi stared at him then, at everyone's surprise (Kiku was too far away to hear any of this and she just watched them innocently), he spoke up:

"Yet." Iwaizumi repeated with a little nod.

The boys all gaped at their teammate who had (finally) openly admitted _outloud_ that he wanted to be with Akiyama Kiku.

"I-is everything all right?" Kiku asked softly.

"Yeah, let's keep going." Iwaizumi said with a smile, taking the ball to go for a serve.

Hanamaki got in position but he couldn't help and think that this three-on-three _will_ end up with an aneurism – _his_.

Once the match was over, Kiku helped the boys take the things away, Matsukawa and Oikawa happily keeping her company when they noticed the amount of jealous glances Iwaizumi kept throwing their way. Of course, the girl was too innocent to realize what was going on.

"Ah… I-I should go before my parents worry…" She murmured at some point when she noticed how much time had gone by.

"Oh, yes, Iwa-chan! Can you accompany Kiku-chan to her bus stop?" Oikawa asked, not wanting to have Kiku's father after him for keeping his daughter from going home in time.

"Sure…" He answered, turning around to join the group of third-years.

Hanamaki glanced between Kiku and Hajime who were staring at each other as distance grew shorter. Grinning, Hanamaki suddenly put his foot in front of him. Iwaizumi didn't notice and stumbled against the foot. He gasped, stumbling forward and trying to find his balance but hitting Kiku when she tried to help him. They both gasped and fell down, the young man on top of the girl.

Oikawa's mouth formed a joyful 'o' while Matsukawa was taking pictures from his phone that had miraculously appeared in his hands right on time.

Hajime and Kiku's wide eyes were staring at each other, too shocked to move an inch. His body had crushed hers on the floor but there was no pain – only warmth throughout their bodies and their hearts beating so hard they could feel them through each other's chests. And more importantly: their lips were touching. It was the biggest cliché in the universe: a fall forward and ooops, they were kissing. But neither Hajime nor Kiku minded at all.

Silence resonated, apart for the clicking sounds coming from the pictures being taken.

Suddenly, Hajime realized that _his lips were touching Kiku's_ and he panicked. He screamed and moved away, clumsily trying to get up but getting his legs tangled up. He almost fell back on top of the girl who squeaked when he caught himself – one hand on the floor, one hand on her breasts. She blushed even more and his cheeks burnt as he moved away from her, still on the floor.

Kiku slowly sat completely, arms covering her chest instinctively while Hajime was opening and closing his mouth, awkward, squeaky sounds escaping his lips – he was half-hidden behind Oikawa's legs.

"S-so-sorr- I- Iam- asshh- sor- I aaah… uuh! So-I-aaah!"

Hajime swallowed hard and tried to speak up once again but Kiku, unable to meet anyone's gaze, suddenly stood up.

"I! I-I s-should g-go… H-have… anice…"

She closed her eyes, tears appearing at the corner of her eyes – Hajime's heart broke and he tried to call for her but she ran off before he, or anyone, could stop her.

"W-wait! Kiku-chan! It's dangerous out-there alone!" Oikawa exclaimed, taking a step after the girl.

But he was stuck when he felt something at his legs – he looked down and blinked, seeing his childhood friend, eyes wide open and panicked, cheeks still red but his skin a little blemish. And holding onto his leg like a child…

"I-Iwa-chan…?" He called, not believing the person holding his leg and looking so lost was his best friend.

Hanamaki looked at the Ace, just as stunned as everyone else to see him so disturbed. Then, he sighed and looked back at Oikawa:

"I'll make sure Kiku gets home safely," he said, grabbing his bag.

"O-okay!" Oikawa answered as he nodded awkwardly.

The wing-spiker ran off in the dark after the panicked girl.

"I-Iwa-chan… are you um… okay?" Oikawa asked, not daring to move.

"N-no… s-she was… Kiku was crying… because of _me_ …" He whispered, still looking like the ghost of himself.

"Iwa-chan…"

He had seen Kiku cry several times – because of the stress of their work, because of the bullies… but never because of _him_. The very idea that she had been crying because of _him_ made his skin crawl – he wanted to rip off his heart for causing her any pain. He hated himself for making her cry. Until now, he had only protected her, he kept her tears away from her eyes… but he was no better of the bullies if–

"…chan! Iwa-chan! …Iwaizumi!"

His full name pronounced by his childhood friend made Hajime jump and he glanced up seeing Oikawa staring at him with a confused, and perhaps slightly annoyed expression, but he couldn't understand why he looked like that… Finally having Hajime's attention, Oikawa sighed and made a sign to the others to go before while he stepped away and freed his leg.

"Whatever you're thinking – stop that, Iwa-chan." Oikawa started, crossing his arms over his chest.

"…You called me by my name…" Iwaizumi whispered, blinking in disbelief.

" _That's_ what you noticed?!" Oikawa shrieked, definitely looking annoyed now.

It made Hajime startle once again and for a moment, he wondered what was wrong with him before remembering Kiku's tears. The evening had started so well but now – he had ruined everything…

"Look, Iwa-chan – it was an _accident_. Caused by Makki, but still an accident. Kiku-chan knows very well that you had no intention of falling on top of her, of kissing her – if you can call that a kiss… and grab her breasts… It was an accident. She's shaken up and shocked because she's so shy but she won't hold it against you. So stop torturing yourself with dark thoughts and get yourself together, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed.

Iwaizumi stared at his friend, still a little shocked by everything that had happened…

"Tomorrow, you'll apologize when you'll see her and you'll explain to her you had no intention of… everything that happened. She'll understand. Okay?"

Oikawa showed his hand to help his friend stand up and after a little hesitation, Iwaizumi took it and rose.

"I… y-you think…?" He murmured, still feeling guilty for her tears.

Oikawa sighed deeply, hands on his hips before nodding.

"I'm sure."

Hajime hesitated a little… He thought back on all the moments Kiku had seemed embarrassed and flushed around his friend. She probably had a crush on Oikawa. If it had been Oikawa kissing her by accident… would she have run away…?

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa called when the silence got longer.

"Oikawa… I think I should… I should probably leave Kiku alone…" He murmured, feeling like he was tearing apart his heart all over again saying these cursed words.

 _I don't want to… I don't want to…_

"W-what? But WHY?!" Oikawa shouted, "If it's because of what just happened, then it's not–"

"It's not! Not because of what just happened!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, cutting his friend.

Hajime lowered his head, clenching his fists and biting on his lower lip so hard he could almost draw blood.

"I… there's no point in pining after her w-when she likes _you_ … like every other girl before…!" He murmured, brows furrowed while he fought back angry tears.

 _What the hell is wrong with me…?!_ He thought, closing his eyes.

He had had a crush on three girls before Kiku – one in elementary school, one in Middle school that continued in high-school, and another one in high-school. _Every time_ , he had been way too shy to talk to them. _Every time_ they had fallen for Oikawa. Iwaizumi didn't hold it against his friend, especially knowing he had rejected them _because_ of his feelings for these girls (even when Oikawa had been crushing on the same girl at one point…). Kiku… with Kiku, he had thought things were different. She didn't seem to take much notice of Oikawa – he had thought he had an actual chance with her. But after seeing her acting so shy, and adorable, and blushing around the setter…

Hearing the words Tooru had wished he'd never hear, his eyes widened and his lips fell open. He was too shocked to react right away – which Hajime took as sudden realization…

"…Iwa-chan… I thought you knew Kiku-chan… but to say something so stupid, I was wrong!" Oikawa said suddenly.

Iwaizumi whipped to him at once, eyes wide, while Tooru frowned and continued, arms crossed over his chest:

"I can assure you that Kiku-chan _doesn't_ like me at all! She said it to my face just a few days ago! She said she had no reason to be interested in me!"

"Wait… you confessed to Kiku…?" Hajime murmured, sounding betrayed.

"NO! Do I have to remind you I have a girlfriend?! No, I didn't confess to Kiku-chan – I had misunderstood her intentions but she made sure to _clearly, harshly_ tell me in the face she was _not_ interested in me in the _slightest!"_

Tooru took a deep breath, realizing that his friend, as intelligent as he might be, was being a complete idiot whenever it came to Kiku-chan – and mostly, that there were so many things he got _wrong_.

"Believe me or not, but Kiku-chan likes _you_ , Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, deciding to be as honest as possible.

He would have preferred for Iwaizumi to realize it on his own – but he needed the truth thrown in his face before he imagined more stupid things.

Disbelief and confusion appeared on Hajime's face and Tooru continued with a sigh:

"Look, the day of the match against Karasuno – Kiku-chan had been watching the match for _you_. That's when I realized she likes you. She looks at you with _stars_ in her eyes – just the way _you_ look at _her!_ You're blind not to realize how she feels for you! And about the Akiyama Bakery? Kiku-chan came to me – bribing me with milk-breads, just so you know that she's a crafty type – and asked me what was your favorite patisserie to give you! I was at a loss because you don't seem to have any favorite one, so I promised her I'd take you to the family bakery… but you didn't show any liking in anything other than Kiku so… she decided to give you a mix…" He concluded, showing at the little paper bag with the patisserie offered by Kiku.

Hajime stared with wide eyes and an opened mouth his friend…

"Seriously, Iwa-chan – didn't she show you any sign of liking you?" Oikawa asked with a shake of his head, "Something she did around you and no one else?"

Hajime thought back on everything they had gone through – she had complimented his eyes, she had tried kissing him in the cinema, she had given him patisserie, she had offered him more smiles and laughs than anyone else…

He blushed and looked down, his heart hammering in his chest at the mere thought of Kiku liking him back…

Tooru smiled softly seeing this expression, the light of acknowledgment appearing in his friend's eyes…

"See? She likes you, Iwa-chan…" He finally said, reassured to know that Iwaizumi had his ideas cleared.

* * *

 _Face-to-face for Iwa-chan and Oikawa - of cours ethey're such good friends, a girl woudln't be able to break them. I can't wait to post next chapter - and the one after that! :D We'll learn lots of things about Kiku!_

 _Thank you for all of your support, don't hesitate to tell me what you think! :D_

 _I wish you all a Merry Christmas! Enjoy it! :D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	14. Quiet Feelings

_I'm sorry I didn't post last night with Sowlmate's chapter, but I was too tired! Anyroad! Thank you to all who followed and favorited and reviewed! You're so amazing!_

 _Finally the chapter with more insight on Kiku! :D_

 _ **HaPPy2901** : Ahah, yes, Oikaawa is the absolute best when it comes to putting Kijime together~ I know it's cliché, ubt cliché are not bad, they're cute - to my mind, at least! x)_

 _ **Tamani** : I'm definitelly putting up a wrestling challenge at some point in the story! x) Kyoutani will get SO teased - and he'll probably be the adopted sno of Kiku and Hajime and all three of them, acting like some sort of family, will definitely get teased about that! XD_

 _ **Berrybluexd** : It wasn't exactly a kiss-kiss, more of lips against lips, so it doesn't really count as their first kiss - their first kiss will be when they'll actually be dating! ;)_

 _ **pinkdoughnuts** : He took to dinner before...? Aw, come on, you didn't have to wait THAT LONG to know what was the relationship between Kiku and coach!_

 _ **Houshikun001** : I love using cliché because it always has the same effect~ I really can't wait for Kijime to spend more time together~_

 _ **Faye** : I'm actually considering making Kiku become their manager, but I'm still not sure about it. I'll definitely put more team bonding AND Kiku's parents in the story! ;)_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Grazie! In questo capitolo, Kiku dimostrerà molto piu di coraggio! Iwaizumi ha un altra prova a vivere in questo capitolo!_

 _ **fairytaildoll** : Thank you, I'm so glad you find it cute~_

 _ **Lili** : Thanks for all of your reviews! :D You'll know about Kiku and the coahces in this chapter! ;) I'm sure Oikawa isn't used to girls shutting him down, especially in such a harsh way! Hajime is ALWAYS adorable, though~! Oikawa CAN be the voice of reason at times, I just think he lets it to Hajime and remains his usual dorky self. Y'know what? I want to try baking milk bread some day because I need to understand why oikaaw is so obssessed with it._

 _ **Shy guest** : The good part of holidays is that I get to write everyday! x) I'm sure Mizoguchi is one of the team's mothers, always taking care of them - despite the yelling, and shouting, and everything else that comes with him... There will be more interactions between Kiku and the team, and in this chapter, between Kiku and Hanamki. ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET WORDS

CHAPTER XIV : Quiet Feelings

"Some things go too deep to be forgotten."

— **John Galsworthy, The Forsyte Saga**

" _There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion."_

— **Edgar Allan Poe**

" _Maybe we judge people too much by their looks because it's easier than seeing what's really important."_

— **Alex Flinn, Beastly**

" _There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."_

― **Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss**

Kiku was walking hurriedly, wiping away tears, her heart still beating way too fast for her to be able to breathe normally.

"Akiyama!"

She didn't react to the family name despite hearing footsteps behind her:

"Oi! Kiku!"

Someone grabbed her shoulder and she gasped, turning around and seeing a thunderstruck Hanamaki staring at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't run off like that when the night has fallen… Coach will kill us if he learns that something bad happened to you…"

It took a moment for Kiku to realize that _firstly_ , Hanamaki had gone after her to make sure she'd be safe, _secondly_ , that it was _Hanamaki_ of all people.

" _That's_ what you're concerned about?!" She shrieked, fists clenching suddenly, "Just fuck off and go back to your friends if that's what you're so worried about!"

She squeaked when she realized what she just said and Takehiro blinked, a little shocked but not surprised by her reaction. Finally, he huffed and smirked.

"Ah, well, it's been a while since I saw talking like that and so loudly." He said.

She flushed in embarrassment and glanced away.

"I'll accompany you, come on," he said, starting to advance so they'd go back to their respective homes.

Kiku glanced at him then followed him, shoulders dropping lightly. They remained completely silent until they arrived at the bus station, waiting in more silence…

"Y'know…" Takehiro suddenly spoke up, looking in front of him with an expression of boredom, "I've never seen you socialize with anyone in school you didn't know beforehand. I was surprised when I heard about everything going on between you and Iwaizumi. It didn't seem like you at all."

Kiku blushed at the mention of the boy's name.

"But I'm even more surprised you haven't made a move on him yet – he's shyer than appearances lead to believe so, if you want anything to happen, you'll have to be the one acting up."

"I… I w-wouldn't h-he's… I-Iwaizumi-san…"

Her voice trailed off and tears appeared in her eyes once again, her heart feeling like it was being torn apart.

"…I-Iwaizumi-san deserves b-better than me…"

Hanamaki's eyes widened and he glanced at the girl, knowing that despite her shell of shyness, anxiety and social awkwardness, she was prouder and more confident than appearances led to believe.

"You're right, he deserves better." He answered honestly, making the girl startle and her lips tremble, "He's about as popular as Oikawa, but because he looks so rough and is so awkward, not many girl confess to him. That's why he's unaware of his popularity – you're the last girl who would attract his attention, and _yet_ , you did. He probably sees some sort of worth in you that no one else saw until now… I still don't get what the hell happened to him – he must have been brainwashed or something…"

Kiku didn't answer, but before she could even think abut Takehiro's words, he continued, pointing at her as if he wanted to prove his point:

"Also, you say he deserves better, but you've giving him lots of clues about your feelings and you've offered him patisserie and whatnot. It doesn't seem like you're willing to give him up yet, uh?"

Surprised that her neighbor would have noticed, Kiku's eyes widened lightly before she looked away guiltily.

"I… I've been in love with him for… so long… I just…" She whispered.

Takehiro was surprised, and felt awkward, to hear about Kiku's feelings for his friend for the first time. Her feelings were _obvious_ – but hearing it out loud was _just_ …

"You've known him for only a month, aren't you exaggerating a little?" He snorted.

But her shoulders slumped down and his eyes widened.

"W-wait!"

"I… I've been in love with Iwaizumi-san… since first-year…" She admitted, holding tightly her bag.

"Whaaaat?! You've been _what?!_ For how long?! B-but!"

"Why do you think I was going to so many of your practices…?" She mumbled annoyingly at his shock.

"…Because you… were coming to watch our practices…? I… never noticed you…" He hesitated, blinking because he had never seen her around.

Kiku didn't answer. Takehiro rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He was a bit curious about how she had fallen in love with Iwaizumi when she had never talked to him before their third-year. But if she had been in love for over two years, he could somehow understand why she didn't want to give him up yet now that he seemed to pay her attention.

Back in middle-school, they weren't in the same class, and yet, they were still talking to each other and going to school and home together… Somehow, over the years, the little bit of friendship they had had back when they were younger had died out. When had he stopped noticing her presence? When did they stop talking at each other? When did they start ignoring each other as they crossed paths at school? But even asking himself that, Takehiro _knew_ – for popularity. Because he had always been on the volleyball club, because he had always been somewhat popular – he had left Kiku alone all these years simply because he didn't want to be seen with _shy, awkward, weird Akiyama_ … Now that he was in high-school, and had matured a bit, he could tell how childish he had been back then, but the hurt had been done. It probably explained why she seemed so different than what he's used to – she grew up and matured as well, in her own way, without him realizing it because she was so quiet.

When they were not at school, they usually annoyed each other as they had always done – their windows were right in front of each other so whenever one was being too loud or annoying, the other would throw stuff against the window. They had always been like that, throwing stuff and insults at each other – except at school, when they ignored each other and kept quiet.

Perhaps talking with Takehiro had made Kiku think back about all of these things as well because what came next out of her mouth took him out of the blue:

"We used to be friends… why did you leave me alone back then?" She asked so low, he almost didn't hear.

He looked down, feeling ashamed of his behavior. But because he was Hanamaki Takehiro and she was Akiyama Kiku, he smiled bitterly, feeling like he could be honest and _still_ , she wouldn't judge him – because if one thing had not changed over the years, it was her endless kindness.

"Because I'm just so awesome." He said – he didn't feel 'awesome', though.

"…You're a dork," she answered with a side smile.

The bus they needed to take to go back in their neighborhood arrived and they climbed it in silence. They remained silent most of the ride back, Hanamaki sending messages to Oikawa and learning about Iwaizumi's recent realization that Kiku liked him.

 _Took long enough to this oblivious dork_ … He thought to himself, glancing at Kiku who was at the other side of the bus, watching the street lights.

" _I've been in love with Iwaizumi-san… since first-year…"_

Takehiro still couldn't quite believe it but he couldn't take it off his mind – why did she wait so long to talk to him if she liked him – shyness apart? She had more than enough excuses considering Iwaizumi was on the _volleyball_ team. She must have had lots of opportunities over their high-school years. Did she remain quiet so long because Iwaizumi didn't know about her until recently?

When they climbed down the bus, they walked for the three minutes separating them from their neighboring houses. Takehiro glanced at Kiku – he could tell she was still shaken up.

"Akiyama, you're not angry because of this accidental kiss?" He asked because he had more or less caused it.

She seemed to struggle with her words and thoughts, cheeks blushing and eyes getting teary once again.

"…I-I'm not angry…" She whispered.

"So… let's say Iwaizumi asks you out or something? You'll say yes?" He continued, suddenly wanting to help out his friends to get together – _what the hell?_ He was not Oikawa, why would he even do that…?

Kiku arrived at her house, the bakery's lights all out. She put her hand on the wooden wall separating her from Hanamaki's house. She would probably enter her house by the backdoor. He waited for her answer, getting slightly impatient when the silence continued on and on…

"I… it wasn't a real kiss b-but… I still enjoyed it…" She admitted.

Hanamaki opened his lips but she continued before he could say a thing:

"B-but… I don't… I don't want to date… Iwaizumi-san…" She whispered, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Eh? Why not? It doesn't make any sense if you like him and he likes you back?" Takehiro said, blinking in disbelief.

"B-because… I've been quiet for too long…" She breathed, looking away and hand curling into a trembling fist against the wooden fence.

Maybe it was too dark for Takehiro to notice her distraught expression. Maybe he didn't hear her and thought she had nothing else to add. Maybe he just didn't care.

He looked away and shrugged.

"Weido…" He muttered, "See you tomorrow, maybe." He said, waving half-heartedly.

He went to his home while Kiku weakly, slowly walked alongside the fence. It took her three times longer to walk the few meters to reach the backdoor. She glanced at the door and the world wobbled around her and she fell on her knees, a hand covering her mouth to smother her cries.

She couldn't face them now – her family. Not after what she just told Hanamaki – the _real_ reason she had kept her feelings to herself for two years, the _real_ reason why she didn't want of anything real with Iwaizumi…

" _I've been quiet for too long…"_ She had said.

And quietly she cried in the darkness, keeping down her screams, her cries, her trauma and bottling up all of her feelings to be able to face another day.

 _Quiet_ was all she could be.

 _The next day…_

Iwaizumi almost ran into his classroom – he had beat his record of fast shower after morning practice and he had tied his tie on the way there. His relief hit him like a wave when he saw Kiku at her desk – he had been scared she wouldn't be here today. She was listening to music, head turned towards the window, watching the clouds flying by.

"Kiku!" He exclaimed before flushing at the realization he had just called her first-name.

Some of his classmates glanced in his direction, shocked to hear him call her so casually but barely whispered as he strode towards the girl. As soon as his shadow towered over her, she paused her music and glanced up at him. He looked for any sign of anger or embarrassment on her face, but she was surprisingly normal. And that, in itself, felt anormal.

"Y-you're uh… you're okay…?" he asked in a whisper.

Something flashed in her eyes – she must have noticed that he had seen it because she blinked to pretend it was nothing. Then, she planted her eyes in his and the corners of her lips tilted up, cheeks flushed.

"I'm fine. And you, Iwaizumi-san?" She asked quietly.

Too shaken to see her acting so natural around him when she should not after everything that had happened last night – she had offered him patisserie and he had _kissed_ her (by accident). It was too strange but he couldn't point at what was weird.

"I… it was delicious…" He stammered, blushing terribly while his clenched his fists from how sweaty his hands felt.

Kiku blinked, as if she had completely forgotten about the patisserie, then… she _laughed_. Hajime's heart missed a beat and several classmates glanced in astonishment at the girl while she quickly covered her mouth, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks rosy.

"S-so sorry!" She exclaimed, still chuckling and not quite believing herself she was laughing right now, "I-it was just so… _unexpected!_ I didn't think… you'd mention it at all!"

"T-truth be told… me too…" He murmured with a side, awkward smile.

She smiled at him, feeling so much better after this little exchange. He sat at his desk, turned towards her. She noticed how his hair seemed wet and how messy his tie looked. Did he hurry to come here… _for her…?_ She swallowed hard but quickly tried to come up with a conversation:

"Y-you didn't answer my question… how are you…?" She asked in a low voice, a knot in her throat.

"…Not good…" He admitted, lowering his head and blushing once again, "I-I can't stop thinking about… what happened yesterday and _I_ …"

His voice broke and he swallowed hard. Kiku tensed, suddenly worried as he looked up at her, something close to panic in his beautiful green-gray eyes:

"I'm so sorry for what happened! I-it was an accident a-and I could never apologize enough…!" He exclaimed, stumbling a little over his words and feelings.

He looked right her widened eyes. She stared back in shock.

Hajime thought back on the realization that he liked her as much as she liked him. Kiku thought back on all the feelings she had kept for so long and the reasons why she could never tell him her feelings. He looked for forgiveness and signs she liked him in her eyes. She looked for any sort of hope to hold on all the while cursing herself for being so weak-willed when it came to Hajime…

Slowly Kiku nodded and smiled – it looked sad. But she still smiled.

It had been an accident. Hajime had apologized. She had forgiven him. It was more than enough for both of them at the moment. Both wanted to fall into each other's arms for comfort, for reassurance, for forgiveness… but they kept their wish quiet and continued chatting, acting as if nothing had happened at all.

They were so busy chatting that they didn't notice Oikawa, Makki and Mattsun watching them from the doorway and for once, miraculously, no fangirl seemed to notice Oikawa. He smiled, relieved to see his friend and his future wife not feeling weird or awkward.

"Let's go to our classes before they notice us…" He decided, turning around, "Oh! Sorry!" He exclaimed when he bumped into someone.

Oikawa blinked when a girl looked up at him and smiled, cheeks very lightly flushed. A girl he recognized.

"No, it's my fault, Oikawa-san, I wasn't looking where I was going… Good morning to you three," Yukimura Shinobu said, nodding to the three members of the volleyball club.

"Good morning," they echoed.

She walked past Oikawa without another glance in his direction. She had a book in her hands and walked past Iwaizumi and Kiku, glancing quickly in their direction while the volleyball club's third-years were leaving. Shinobu blinked and took a step backwards, stopping in front of Kiku's desk – her sudden appearance attracted Iwaizumi, then Akiyama's gazes, both looking up at the girl curiously.

"Is this… Dazai Osamu?" Shinobu asked curiously, pointing at a book on Akiyama's desk.

Surprised someone other than Iwaizumi would talk to her, Akiyama glanced at her book, as if checking it was Dazai Osamu's, then nodded at Yukimura. She smiled excitedly instantly, lifting up her own book and showing it was the exact same book from the same author.

"Oh…" Kiku murmured, blinking to see she had a common point with Yukimura.

"Do you like reading, Akiyama-san?"

"Y-yes… A-and y-you a-are… um… in the… literature c-club… r-right…?" Kiku asked hesitantly, flushing anxiously when she realized she was trying to make conversation with a classmate.

"Yes, I am," Yukimura smiled, "You should come to our club if you like reading – we lack members."

"A-ah, I… uh…" Kiku stammered, looking down, her fingers playing with the side of her book, "I-I h-have a c-club already…" She answered so low it was barely heard.

"Eh? Really? What is it?" Yukimura continued curiously.

"…C-cheering…" Kiku whispered, feeling like she was about to melt from so much attention.

"Cheering? Seijou has a cheering club?" Shinobu hesitated, blinking.

"Yeah, we do, even if people don't seem to ever hear about it." Iwaizumi intervened.

Yukimura looked back at him, eyes slightly widened by his harsh tone. Kiku glanced as well, not understanding what was happening. Realizing he had talked too suddenly, Hajime hesitated.

"I mean… there aren't many members… it might be why…" He murmured.

"Have you ever watched one of the cheering club's practice, Iwaizumi-san?" Yukimura asked with her constant, polite smile.

"E-eh?!" He exclaimed, flushing immediately when Yukimura glanced at Kiku meaningfully.

She acted innocent as soon as Kiku looked back up at Shinobu.

"I… I didn't…" He stammered, looking down.

He noticed from the corner of his eye Kiku glancing down, as if disappointed he had never seen her practice while she had watched many of his… Shinobu glanced between the two before speaking up and breaking the sudden silence:

"I'll leave you two – I realize I interrupted your conversation earlier, I apologize. And apparently… some people are rather protective of their friends…" She added in a low voice, gaze switching to a blushing Hajime while Kiku blinked innocently, "I'd love to talk again with you about books, Akiyama-san – if you don't mind, that is…"

Kiku startled and blushed before smiling because she was being _social_ and it felt like a _huge_ improvement – as if she had _finally_ reached the peak of a mountain she had struggled climbing for years.

"I-I don't mind at all!" She exclaimed a little too fast.

Yukimura nodded softly then went to her seat. Iwaizumi watched her leave then looked back at a very proud-looking Kiku. She was obviously silently cheering herself for managing to hold a conversation with a classmate and having the possibility of another one. Hajime couldn't help but smile when he noticed this expression on her face.

"It's great if you get along well with other classmates…" He said.

"A-ah, y-yes!" Kiku exclaimed with an enthusiastic nod.

 _At practice…_

The Aoba Jousai's volleyball team was practicing while Oikawa and Iwaizumi were talking with their head coach about the nearing Golden Week. Hajime felt _something_ and glanced towards the gymnasium entrance, seeing Kiku approaching. The conversation going on (in which he was supposed to participate) totally became background noise and his whole attention turned on Kiku.

She was coming forward with a little smile, looking at the team, as if proud of their progress. He wondered how many times she had come here to watch them without him, or anyone, noticing her. She was carrying two bentos in her hands and she finally met eyes with his. She made some sort of bouncy step, as if she was impatient to get closer, her smile becoming big and bright. Without quite realizing it, Hajime started smiling as well, observing her and only her.

"…given their papers back and all questions from the first-years have been answered." Oikawa concluded with a smile, giving a handful of papers to his coach.

"Good, I– Oh, Kiku." Irihata finally noticed the girl at his side.

Both Hajime and Kiku jumped out of their staring to glance back at the coach. The girl lifted up her bentos very quickly, to show them to the coach then put them down on the bench.

"Thank you." He nodded, turning back towards the Captain and Vice-Captain, "As I was saying… Iwaizumi?"

Iwaizumi startled when he was called because he had been too busy staring lovingly at Kiku who glanced up shyly at the coach.

"Y-yes, coach?" He asked.

Irihata raised an eyebrow gave him a look that was explicit enough: he knew damn well _why_ he was day-dreaming, or rather, _who_ he was day-dreaming about. The Ace flushed in embarrassment, a little ashamed to be caught staring at a girl.

"I _do_ hope you were listening to what I was saying these past five minutes, uh?" Irihata asked knowingly.

"Uuuh…"

Oikawa chuckled, earning a glare from his friend. Irihata rolled his eyes then turned towards Kiku who was looking at Iwaizumi as if he was some sort of deity appeared on earth.

"You're done with practice tonight?" He asked.

"Ah, y-yes, I-I wanted to come watch the volleyball practice…" She answered, fumbling with her fingers sheepishly.

"You can stay on the bench – just be careful of stray balls. Stay near Mizoguchi or me, okay?"

"Y-yes…"

Iwaizumi stared at the coach interacting with the girl so comfortably.

"How do you two know each other…?" He mumbled.

It was only when both Irihata and Kiku turned to him curiously that he realized he had talked _outloud_. Not only he had voiced his thoughts outloud but _mostly_ , he had sounded incredibly rude towards his coach.

"I-I mean… I didn't… uuh…" Iwaizumi hesitated.

"You don't know, Iwaizumi?" Irihata asked, raising an eyebrow.

Oikawa looked expectantly while his friend's face turned into an expression of incredulity.

"Know what?" He asked.

"…Kiku is my…"

Irihata glanced hesitantly at Kiku who smiled up at Hajime:

"He's my uncle." She said as if it was obvious.

Hajime's lips fell open, his eyes widened and the papers he had been holding fell on the floor.

 _Oh_. Was all he could think.

* * *

BONUS

"Damn it, damn it, damn it, fuuuuuck! I'm such an idiot!" Iwaizumi mumbled, repeating it over and over again to himself.

Hanamaki snorted while Iwaizumi continued pacing back and forth in the changing-room, shaking his hair in panic, eyes wide as he thought again and again about the fact that his coach was _Kiku's uncle…_

"How could I NOT know?!" He exclaimed to himself, almost punching the lights out of Kunimi when he whipped around.

Kindaichi threw his friend a worried look but Iwaizumi didn't seem to notice, going back towards his locker and hitting his head against it.

"Fuuuck… daaamn it…"

"I don't see how that's much of a problem," Yahaba intervened hesitantly.

"It IS a problem! Irihata noticed me staring at Kiku!" Iwaizumi shouted, "He doesn't usually say a thing about the players' girlfriends so I thought it wouldn't be much of a trouble as long as it didn't disturb practice BUT SHE'S HIS NIECE!"

"Calm down, Iwa-chan~" Oikawa said happily.

"STOP LOOKING SO DARN HAPPY OIKAWA! YOU _KNEW_ AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!" Iwaizumi continued, pointing an accusing finger at Oikawa.

Oikawa was guilty of course, but he didn't feel guilty at all. He made a fake shocked expression and put a dramatic hand on his chest.

"Don't accuse me like that, Iwa-chan! How could I know that you didn't know the _obvious?"_

" _Obvious?!_ Uh! Don't joke around! _No one_ mentioned it _ever_ , no one knew before Kiku told me Irihata was her uncle!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

Silence fell in the changing-room, everyone staring, a little sadly, and maybe disappointed for the kouhais, at Iwaizumi.

"Actually…" Makki started with a smirk.

Hajime whipped around towards him at once, a shocked expression on his face:

"You _knew…?!_ " He hissed.

"I'm her neighbor, remember? I see Irihata almost all week-ends since I've been ten years-old." Makki answered with a shrug as if it was _normal_.

"I knew too," Mattsun intervened with his usual deadpanned expression.

" _What?!"_ Iwaizumi exclaimed before turning towards the second and first-years, "Who else knew?!"

They all glanced at each other guiltily and finally, after a long and heavy silence, Kindaichi had the courage to speak up.

"Sorry for not telling you before Iwaizumi-san… but I thought you knew…" He admitted.

"Even the first-years…?" Iwaizumi whispered, taking a step backwards.

"You were the only one not knowing, it's hilarious!" Hanamaki snorted as his friend fell against the locker with hands covering his face in shame and embarrassment.

"The most hilarious was your reaction, though!" Mattsun added with a chuckle.

 _Some time ago…_

" _Eh?" Iwaizumi said hesitantly._

" _I'm Kiku's uncle," Irihata said with a little more confidence than before._

 _It took a moment for Iwa-chan to understand what was being revealed to him. The coach who had supervised his practice for three years now was the uncle of_ _ **Akiyama Kiku, the girl he liked**_ _…_

" _B-b-but! Y-you don't have the same family name!" Iwaizumi exclaimed suddenly, pointing at the two while stepping back out of shock._

 _Irihata and Kiku glanced at each other before looking back at the Ace._

" _You really didn't know?" Irihata asked suspiciously._

 _He then glanced at Oikawa who appeared all innocent. Irihata gave him an exasperated look, understanding that the Captain had_ _ **known**_ _but kept it a secret for whatever reason while Kiku gently tried to reassure a panicking Iwaizumi:_

" _Uncle Nobuteru's wife is my mother's sister," Kiku explained calmly, "They both changed family names when they got married."_

" _Uncle…_ _ **Nobu**_ _…"_

 _Hajime's voice trailed off and he glanced at Irihata, thinking back on all the moments he had spaced out and been noticed by the coach – whenever Irihata had been asking him if he was all right, Oikawa had joyfully piped in that Iwaizumi was having_ _ **heart trouble**_ _. This one time Iwaizumi had skipped classes with Kiku and Irihata had scolded him for that (because he's her uncle), saying not to get Kiku in trouble (because he's her uncle!), and how worried he had seemed upon hearing about the bullying (because he's her UNCLE!)… All the times Hajime had shamelessly and openly stared and waved and smiled at Kiku despite Irihata being less than five meters away…_

 _ **He knows…**_ _Hajime thought._

 _He met eyes with his coach who gave him a long look, nodding very lightly. Hajime's heart almost leapt out of his chest out of fear and he had to hold back a very not manly squeak of sudden nervousness because this look screamed_ _ **"Yeah, I know you have a thing for my niece and I am not very happy about this but well…"**_

Back in the changing-room, Hajime let his hands fell from his face and turned towards Oikawa with a hard look:

"You bastard, you knew all along but you hid it from me because you wanted this embarrassment to happen!" He hissed.

"…I _may_ have known buuut… I thought… you knew?" Oikawa hesitated, feeling his lifespan shorten.

"…I give you a five seconds advance. _Run_."

* * *

 _You finally know about Kiku and Irihata. ;)_

 _I know it's hard to understaand what's going on at the beginning of the chapter and what triggered Kiku's break-down, but when you'll know about her past, you'll understand! ;)_

 _I'm off for a few days, so I'm wishing everyone a Happy New Year in advance! I wish you all health and happiness for hte year 2017! :D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	15. Alien Mermaid

_I'm sorry for not posting earlier but I was in a Sowlmate mood and I have big problems with internet. It's workinig exceptionally at the moment but I don't know when it'll work again - and thus, when next chapter will come._

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I think Hajime is pretty observant except for obvious stuff. We'll learn even MORE about Kiku in this chapter! ;)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Ahah, I didn't really try to hide that Kiku was Irihata's niece! XD Of course I did it on purpose, I do all of it on purpose, don't you know by now? I loved writing Iwaizumi's reaction - and frow nom on, the silent conversations with Irihata will only get better! XD_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Che gioia di sapere che hai piaciato il precedente capitolo! Un po piu di Kiku e Hanamaki in questo capitolo! ;) Saprai perché Kiku è inamorata di Hajime dal primo anno dopo, sono impaziente di scrivere questo capitolo! :D Il "...I've been quiet for too long." di Kiku sarà anche spiegato dopo nella storia. La relazione di Hajime e del padre di Kiku sarè definitivamente interesantissimo e comica!_

 _ **bookdragonslayer** : I'm glad you find it funny! ;D_

 _ **CommandoGirl1127** : AHAH I WISH I WERE RICK RIORDAN! He's not the best writerout-there but he definitely knows how to write humor, gods and diversity! ;D (big fan of uncle Rick here~!) I think Hajime would probably catch pretty quickly Oikawa and he would like, ruffle his hair until he's not recognized anymore by his fangirls or something! XD (he wouldn't hurt him but he wouldn't let him go safe and sound either)_

 _ **PaintCat** : I'm glad you liked the last chapters! Kiku's past will be explained little by little! ;) There'll be some interesting things happening at the end of the Golden Week! ;)_

 _ **Houshikun001** : You're very welcome~ More bold Kiku in this chapter! ;D_

 _ **FanFictionAddiction4EVER** : The thing is... Hajime doesn't know it, but he already knows Irihata's wife! XD The two sisters would mostly tease Iwa-chan, considering he's Kiku's dear! XD Oikawa would probably manage to charm them or something! (not in a flirty way, but in a "I'm a perfect child" way, y'know?)_

 _ **rheascarlet** : Kiku is geting better at socializing - thanks to Iwa-chan opening up to her, and allowing her to open up as well! ;)_

 _ **Lili** : Hanamaki might play pretend when it comes to Kiku and act as if he doesn't care and stuff, and there is definitely a huge gap between them compared to their childrhood, but it doesn't mean they're not attached to each other in some weird, almost-sibling way. But they'd never admit it out loud. Obviously. I can imagine Hajime sort of sighing and then, because he's rather cool and relaxed around their coach, startign to talk about this girl he's got a crush on and saying how KIku is so cute and adorable and everything without realizing even once that Irihata is her uncle. x)_

 _ **Minki** : Anyone would be lucky to be Iwa-chan's crush and would go "yesyesyesyesyes!" XD Hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story! ;D_

 _ **Melissa Fairy** : Thanks! The summary isn't as great, but isn't it better when the story is more entertaining? And... you clicked anyway, so it works! ;)_

 _ **akagami hime chan** : This fanfic is a huge relief for everyone who reads Sowlmate! XD I'm trying to make characers as different from each other as possible - OC's becaue it's more interesting this way and also because they're for differernt boys, so, different personalities and different ways to collide! ;) I love mixing them all together~ I can't wait for Ayakou to appear in this story! ;D_

 _ **Peony-flower** : Ahah, glad that Oikawa isn't OOC! He's hard, but oh-so-interesting to write! x) Thanks for the round of applause, I'm doingmy best! XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XV : Alien Mermaid

" _I am a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who am I, to me?"_

― **Unknown**

" _Beautiful songs could sometimes take a person out of themselves and carry them away to a place of magic. But when Jill sang, it was not about the song, really. She could sing the phone book. She could sing a shopping list. Whatever she sang, whatever the words or the tune, it was so beautiful, so achingly lovely, that no one could listen and be untouched."_

― **Michael Grant, Lies**

" _He who sings scares away his woes."_

― **Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra**

" _He's an only child and could never understand the delicate joys of sibling abuse."_

― **Cynthia Hand, Hallowed**

" _What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them."_

― **Esther M. Friesner, Nobody's Princess**

"All right everyone!" Oikawa exclaimed loudly, clapping his hands.

Slowly the chatting of this team stopped and everyone turned their attention towards their Captain and Vice-Captain.

"It's the beginning of the Golden Week training and Saturday, we'll have a practice match against Wakunan Minami! Let's make the most of it all and enjoy, all right everyone~?"

"Oooosss!" Everyone answered.

"Anything the Vice-Captain wishes to add?" Oikawa asked, hands on his hips and turning a big smile towards his friend.

Iwaizumi turned towards his team, everyone listening to him with awed eyes:

"Let's get stronger this week to win the Inter-High and go to the Nationals!" He exclaimed with a strong voice.

"OOOSSSSS!" They all shouted excitedly, like a crew answering to their ship Captain.

"The fact that they respect you more than me is truly annoying…" Oikawa muttered with a pout.

"If you were taking things more seriously, they would respect you even outside of matches," Iwaizumi shrugged.

"Iwa-chan! Does this mean you guys respect me when we're playing matches?!" Oikawa asked joyfully, bouncing around his Vice-Captain.

"We respect your serves," Iwaizumi answered, not phased at all.

"Aaaaww! So mean! What about the rest of my plays – I'm a setter!"

"Then act like one and be more responsible."

The first day of intense practice went all right even if an entire day of practice lead by Iwaizumi meant that the first-years – not used to the intense training – got exhausted pretty fast. It was only after Hajime told them to take it easy to not be too tired on the first day or get injured that they slowed down to keep up at their own rhythm. Of course, the first-years admired their senpai even more after that.

At the end of the day, once Makki and Iwaizumi (Mattsun had given up) managed to drag Oikawa away from the gymnasium to rest a little, they took their showers and baths and went to the cafeteria where the dinner would probably be ready. What they had not expected was to see most of their teammates, gathered, almost piled up on one another, at the entrance of the cafeteria, trying to catch a glimpse of what was inside through the tiny round windows.

"What are you doing?" Iwaizumi asked, frowning lightly at what new mayhem they would have caused – and it was only the first day.

"Iwaizumi-san!" Kindaichi exclaimed with flushed cheeks to be caught.

"There's someone singing," Kunimi added with his usual blank expression – but he was still leaning against the swing door.

"A _girl_ singing!" Yahaba added, a little too excited at this.

"Uh?"

"What do you mean?" Oikawa asked.

Immediately, Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Makki leaned against the swing doors all the while making sure – like everyone else – to not put any pressure that might open them. Then, they heard the smothered voice of a girl singing – a beautiful voice that immediately made their hearts speed up because _a girl was singing._

"I don't understand, we don't have a manager – why would there be a girl?" Watari asked shyly.

"We didn't go to the wrong cafeteria, did we?" Kindaichi asked in a hushed voice.

"There's only one cafeteria." Kunimi answered, holding back a roll of his eyes.

"Ah, yes…"

"I don't care who she is, her voice is beautiful…" Yahaba whispered in awe.

There was a moment of reverent silence, a silent agreement to this statement. Then, Makki blinked and smirked.

"Ah."

"What is it?" Iwaizumi asked him.

"Nothing," he answered even if the third-years could tell he was hiding something.

"What if it's a ghost singing?!" Kindaichi suddenly exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Ghosts don't exist." Mattsun intervened.

"A ghost wouldn't have such a pretty voice – it must be a mermaid!" Yahaba exclaimed.

"Mermaids don't exist as well – also there is no water, how would a mermaid even be here?" Kunimi said, as calm as ever.

"Then! She's an alien! A beautiful alien with the singing voice of a mermaid!" Oikawa exclaimed excitedly, eyes sparkling.

Everyone turned to him.

Kunimi opened his lips but Makki and Mattsun gave him signs to shut him up from behind an oblivious Oikawa. Kunimi seemed confused as to why he couldn't say that aliens weren't real either but after a glance at his _enchanted_ Captain, he understood that saying _'aliens don't exist'_ would not be appreciated by him. He'd probably start crying. But Iwaizumi had the courage to actually sigh and answer to his friend:

"An alien mermaid… That's _too_ crazy, Oikawa. Maybe a mermaid, maybe an alien, but not both."

"Wait – do you seriously think it could be a mermaid or an alien or are you making fun of him?" Mattsun asked Iwaizumi.

But before the Ace could answer, a voice resonated behind them, coming from nowhere:

"Will you enter or not? I'm hungry."

The boys all shrieked after hearing a ghost talk to them. They pushed each other, gasped more and… fell against the swing-doors. A pile of the entire team fell on the floor, pushing open the swing-doors, moaning in pain – especially for the ones under the rest of the boys. They glanced over their shoulders and held back screams when they saw the head-coach Irihata looking down at them with an exasperated look on his face.

"Oh NO! Coach Irihata is a ghost!" Someone screamed with a high-pitched voice.

"Irihata is dead!" Another shouted in panic.

"I am NOT a ghost, I'm not dead. I'm very much alive, thank you very much."

"What's happening?" Mizoguchi asked curiously from over the counter.

The boys started standing up, with some difficulty for the ones who had been under the rest of the pile, and turned their attention towards the coach. The singing had stopped, whatever spell had brought the mermaid-alien in their cafeteria was now broken.

"We heard someone singing, then the ghost of Irihata scared us," Makki explained.

"I'm _not_ dead," Irihata repeated another time, sending an annoyed look to the boys who didn't seem disturbed by it.

Then, someone stepped out of behind Mizoguchi, looking a little surprised by the mayhem caused by the volley ball club. Hajime's eyes widened while everyone stared at the girl with wide eyes.

"AKIYAMA?!"

"Kiku?!"

Hajime had the reflex to cover his mouth when he heard himself call his classmate by her first-name but thankfully, everyone's voices had covered his. He started feeling relief when he met Irihata's gaze and raised eyebrow. _Of course_ , the coach had been the one standing next to him and _of course_ , he had been the only one hearing the boy screaming his niece's first name. Hajime still couldn't wrap his mind around it. He flushed and quickly looked away from both uncle and niece.

"What are you doing here, Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked curiously, but glad to have the girl nearby Iwa-chan.

"Singing, apparently," Makki answered with a shrug.

Kiku threw him a quick glance and was about to answer when everyone stiffened, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Hold on, wait – that was _you?"_ Mattsun asked, pointing at the girl.

" _Y-you're_ the alien mermaid, Kiku-chan?!" Oikawa screamed, thunderstruck.

"T-the _what_ …" Kiku hesitated, blinking.

"Why did you never mention you were an alien before, Kiku-chan?!" Oikawa continued while his teammates sighed and slammed their palms against their foreheads.

"There is _no_ mermaid, and _no_ alien, idiot!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, giving a light slap against his friend's shoulder, "Ki– I mean, Akiyama-san is a _normal girl_ with a very pretty, incredibly beautiful singing voice… that's all." He finished in a murmur, glancing at the girl who blushed and smiled at his compliment.

"B-but… the alien mermaid…" Tooru whined sadly.

Everyone ignored his whimpering as Mattsun turned towards Makki:

"So, you knew it was her but you didn't say?"

"Ah, well, it was fun seeing you guys having theories about every possible creature to be." He answered with a shrug.

"You were the one singing so beautifully? It was… it was amazing!" Yahaba exclaimed, looking straight at Kiku.

The girl blushed and looked down, a shy smile on her face.

"T-thank you…"

Iwaizumi glanced at Yahaba, his body stiffening suddenly to see him talking so casually with his Kiku. Of course, the second-year was right – it _had_ been a beautiful singing, it _had_ been amazing. But Hajime didn't like anyone else but him complimenting Kiku – _especially_ when it was a flirt like Yahaba.

Tooru seemed to notice this change of behavior from his friend and the way his eyes turned slightly dangerous, but didn't say a thing, only smiled and approached the counter:

"So~ Kiku-chan~ Have you become our manager?" He asked.

He knew that because of him, they couldn't have a manager – but if the girl managing was the coach's niece and not interested in him, there would be no problem, right?

"A-ah, n-no! I'm only… helping out Mizoguchi-san…" She answered hesitantly, "To prepare lunch and dinner… for you…" She continued, glancing sheepishly at Hajime.

"Ooh… how sad… I'm sure the team would be enchanted to have such a lovely manager – especially one who sings so beautifully. I, myself, am quite a good singer and I must say that–"

"OK. That's enough chit-chat." Irihata decided, pushing away the Captain.

And delivering dinner started: Mizoguchi and Kiku were preparing the trails before giving them, full of food, to the thankful, hungry boys. Irihata was the first one served and then, everyone went in some sort of clumsy line, not really caring about the proper order from their school years, everyone mixing together.

"Thank you, Akiyama-senpai!" Kindaichi exclaimed happily because his dinner had been prepared by a girl.

A few meters behind, Hajime clicked his tongue and huffed annoyingly, making his friends turn to him.

"Don't worry, Iwa-chan~ No one will steal your Kiku-chan~" Oikawa started.

"Eh?! I'm not _jealous!"_

"I never said you were jealous."

"You said it yourself." Mattsun intervened.

Hajime huffed, looking away from his oh-so-called friends.

"I doubt she's interested in first-years anyway," Mattsun added with a shrug.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that – she likes young ones, _apparently_ ," Makki snorted but no one understood what he meant by that.

"How did you know it was Kiku singing?" Hajime asked instead.

"She's my neighbor – she's almost _always_ singing. I hear her singing all the time. Thankfully, she sings well so it's not much of a bother…" Makki shrugged.

Hajime stared at Hanamaki, feeling like it was just unfair – his teammate got to spend so much time with Kiku, he got to hear her singing everyday, he got to _see_ her everyday…

"I'm not jealous…" He mumbled to himself, so low he was barely heard.

"Sure you're not!" Makki exclaimed laughing.

"Lots, please. I'm famished." Mattsun requested as he arrived to be served.

"You'll be served like everyone else, if you're still hungry after that, there'll be seconds," Mizoguchi said.

If Mattsun was annoyed he didn't show it, but as soon as Mizoguchi focused on the next bowls and plates to fill, Kiku doubled the ration on Mattsun's trail. He gave her a curious look and she grinned, lifting up her finger to her lips to keep it a secret. Smirking, he took the trail and took a few steps away while Makki arrived in front of Kiku.

"Unfair. Give me the same." He asked the girl.

"Ask nicely." She requested, looking slightly annoyed by his tone.

"I just did."

"It wasn't _nice_."

"Urgh."

Makki frowned and opened his lips to continue – not realizing that everyone was staring at the two neighbors curiously because it was the first time they were seeing Kiku interacting so openly and naturally.

"Come on, Taka- _chan_ , show some respect to your elders~" Kiku continued, smirking at him.

Annoyed, he snorted at what she just called him in front of everyone. But before he could retort anything, Hajime – who was less than a meter away – blinked:

"Wait… what do you mean by that?" He asked curiously.

It seemed to remind Kiku and Takahiro that there were other people around and they both turned to him.

"She's a year older than us," Makki explained as if it was obvious.

"Eh?"

"EH?! You're a senpai, Kiku-cha… Kiku… uum…" Oikawa hesitated, not knowing how to refer to the girl anymore.

"B-but! You're in my class! You're in the same class, you're the same age, right?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, turning towards Kiku.

She seemed a little strange that because of Hanamaki, they knew it but she forced a smile and nice expression as she answered Hajime:

"I'm eighteen years old. I'll turn nineteen this year. I repeated a school year… in Middle-school." She explained sheepishly.

Too stunned to know that the girl he liked wasn't even the same age as him but a year _older_ , Hajime stared at her with his mouth hanging open. Until Mattsun casually brought an arm over his shoulders and whispered in his ear:

"I hope you have a kouhai kink because you'll definitely be the one screaming 'senpai'…" He teased with a smirk.

Hajime blushed and pushed him away, ignoring his suggestive tone.

Before anyone could comment, though, the glare Kiku sent in the direction of Hanamaki didn't escape the others' attention.

"You _had_ to say it so that everyone would hear. You're such a pain in the ass!" She said, making everyone blink because it was _Akiyama Kiku_ , she was _shy_ and _quiet_ and didn't tell this sort of things.

Irihata didn't seem surprised, or bothered, and continued eating dinner as usual – Hanamaki too wasn't surprised. Glad, on the contrary, she'd (finally) show her true colors, he leaned forward with a teasing smile:

"Eeeeh, You wanted to keep it a secret, senpai? That's too bad~!"

"You don't want me to tell them, do you?" She asked.

"Tell them what, it's not like you–"

"Seventh grade." She simply said with a proud smirk.

"…Don't." Hanamaki threatened, color escaping his cheeks.

"What happened in seventh grade?" Oikawa asked curiously.

Kiku was about to open her lips but Hanamaki jumped over the counter with a scream, covering her mouth with his hand, eyes wide and panicked:

"DON'T! Don't tell _them!_ Don't tell _anyone!_ Please!" He exclaimed, "I'll do anything you want but don't tell them…!" He added in a hushed voice so she'd be the only hearing but the room was so silent it resonated anyway.

"Hanamaki-san… is… begging…?" Kindaichi asked in incredulity.

Everyone watched as Kiku blinked at Hanamaki. Slowly, he pulled away his hand but she smiled at him in a mischievous way.

"Call me senpai." She ordered.

"…Senpai…" He muttered, closing his eyes in shame.

"Do better~"

"See, told you she had a senpai kink," Mattsun whispered in Hajime's ear, elbowing him in the same time.

"Shut up!" He exclaimed, blushing.

"…Akiyama… senpai…" Takahiro murmured, his entire body trembling when he felt everyone's eyes fixated on him with wide, very wide, shocked eyes.

 _I won't live the end of the day after that_ … He thought to himself.

"…Well, perhaps if you call me that _all week long_ – I'll _consider_ not telling anyone about seventh grade." Kiku decided.

"…You… _little_ …"

"Tch, tch, tch. _Seventh grade._ " Kiku interrupted.

Takahiro actually growled, glaring at the girl who continued to smile proudly, not even caring if the volleyball club saw her acting this way – it also meant the volleyball club seeing their respected wing-spiker being a weakling to her, and it was _oh-so-worth it_.

Slowly, Takahiro seemed to calm down and he reached for his pocket and pulled out his phone, looking for something in it. Not understanding what exactly was happening, people continued to watch the show – except Irihata who was used to see these two act like that.

"I wanted to keep it for later use but I could just use it now. I bet you don't want a _certain someone_ to see this picture of you…" He started, showing the phone only to Kiku.

He made sure no one else could see – even if Oikawa and Matsukawa _definitely_ tried to have a peek.

Kiku gasped, eyes widening and her cheeks turning red. She immediately tried to reach for the phone but the wing-spiker pulled it away and out of her reach, locking his phone screen to make sure no one would see the picture that had turned the girl into such a blushing, angry mess.

"Give it! Give it BACK, Hanamaki!" Kiku ordered, jumping to get the phone but he pulled it away just before she could reach it.

"U-uh. Not happening. Not until you take back the threat about seventh grade." He said, keeping the phone just an inch away from her fingers.

"Nnggh…!"

Kiku suddenly climbed over the counter, trying to reach for Hanamaki but he pulled away. She tried to get the phone, but he put it in his back pocket, chuckling as she tried to strangle him. But his hands grabbed her wrists as they both tried to annoy the other the most: she was trying to strangle him – or peek out his eyes, whatever would be the easiest to do – and he was keeping her away from him by holding her arms.

"Your little fight is almost cute~" He hummed.

"You ass!"

"Oooh~ What would your parents say?"

"Fuck it!"

"Languaaaage~"

"Uncle Nobuteru! Kick him out of the team! He's of no use anyway!" She yelled, without even glancing at her uncle.

"Oi! That's playing unfair!" Makki growled at her.

"Thanks for the meal," Irihata sighed, standing up as he was the only one done with dinner and he definitely did not want to deal with any of this any longer.

"Oi, you two, keep it down – just get dinner and calm down…" Mizoguchi started.

"I'll peek yar eyes out – how will you play chasing the ball around without seeing anything, uh?!" Kiku threatened Makki without hearing Mizoguchi.

"It's enough!" Mizoguchi exclaimed, everyone but the two teens arguing, taking a step back as a dangerous aura started to appear around him.

"Just try it – you'd have to reach me first, dwarf!" Makki barked.

"If I can't reach you up there, I'll get you down!"

"I SAID ENOUGH!"

Kiku – who had been on a clumsy balance over the counter and mostly holding onto Hanamaki – suddenly fell over at Mizoguchi's scream. Hanamaki gasped when she fell on him and they stumbled on the floor, both startled and frightened upon seeing the coach's dangerous look in the eyes.

"…S-sorry…" They both mumbled, lowering their heads in shame.

"Just eat dinner already! Young ones these day, seriously…" Mizoguchi muttered, shaking his head as he finished the last trails for the last players.

"Get off me…!" Hanamaki hissed, kicking Kiku away from him.

" _Ouch!_ Have you never heard of delicacy, _you_ …"

Her voice trailed off when Mizoguchi sent the two of them a bad look. They quickly stood up, still trying to elbow and kick and punch the other as discreetly as possible, glaring and frowns on their faces, but they stopped arguing with sound which was more than enough for the coach.

"…All right, Kiku, your father is here to take you home. I'll walk you there." Irihata intervened after checking the hour.

"Y-yes…" She mumbled, taking her bag.

Hanamaki huffed and she stuck her tongue at him childishly before running after her uncle and disappearing from the cafeteria.

Slowly, the silence that had invaded the volleyball team's cafeteria stopped and they started murmuring and chatting quietly about everything that had happened.

"…What just happened?" Iwaizumi asked, blinking in disbelief at everything he just learned about Kiku.

"Oh, my~ That's an interesting turn of events~" Oikawa hummed, chuckling to himself.

"…Seriously, what just happened?" Iwaizumi asked once again.

Still pissed off, Hanamaki went to his seat – teased mercilessly by Mattsun. Oikawa and Iwaizumi sat with them.

"What happened in seventh grade?" Mattsun asked with a grin.

" _Nothing_."

"What happened in seventh grade?" He repeated with the same voice.

"Nothing."

"What was on your phone?"

"Nothing!"

"Makki and Kiku-chan are like siblings who don't get along~" Oikawa said happily.

"UGH!" Hanamaki exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

Too stunned by everything that had just happened, Iwaizumi was just unable to find anything to say. He looked down at his trail of food, thinking back on the scene from a few minutes ago.

He was glad he had learned so many things, even if he was still confused.

21\. Kiku was a year older than him.

22\. When Kiku swears, she doesn't hold back _at all._

23\. She knows _stuff_ about Hanamaki and _he_ knows stuff about her.

24\. Her voice is as beautiful as a mermaid's.

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter~_

 _Once again, I don't know when I'll post next chapter and I apologize if it takes a lot of time! "_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	16. Let's Get Iwa-chan with Kiku-chan' Plan

_Sorry I couldn't post earlier but there was no more internet and I was in a Sowlmate mood! I'm very disappointed ebcause this chapter is boring so I'll try writing more soon so I can post soon..._

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Lol, I'm sure you'd be a wonderful alien-mermaid! :D PERHAPS we'll learn what happened in 7th grad and what is on Makki's phone - the thing is, I wrote about that without finding a good thing to explain it, so we'll see how it turns out... " _

_**Houshikun001** : Kiku has more in herself than people give her credits for - and I love writing about Makki and Kiku, they're an interesting duo!_

 _ **.** : Thank you so much! Glad I surprised you with last chapter's revelations! :D There will be some flashabcks but I'm not sure yet whether it'll involve Kiku and Makki - perhaps vaguely. I'll defintiely write more about them!_

 _ **Tamani** : Yeah! Kyouken-chan would have been there, he would have been impressed by Kiku! XD_

 _ **VioletRyu** : More secrets next chapter! ;)_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Nessuno a Aoba Jousai aspettava Kiku di cantare bene - salvo Hanamaki. Perché Kiku ha mancato un' anno di scuola sarà spiegato più tardi. ;) Nel futuro, Makki cambia il suo comportamente con Kiku, per raggioni che saranno spiegati anche più tardi! :D Makki si sentirà colpevole... Non Sappiamo si Oikawa crede negli alieni ma negli manga e anime, quando Oikawa è piccolo, ha tshirts con alieni - è credeto nel fandom che Oikawa è uno fan dei alieni, come Iwaizumi è uno fan di Godzilla (anche, per i accessori che porta, ha un imagio di Godzilla sul telefono) ma si, è un dei ragioni perchè la futura storia di Oikawa si titola "Alien"! :D_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Kiku is great, uh? Stronger than she appearances lead to believe! Imagining Iwaizumi saying "notice me senpai" is the most hilarious thing to be! XD_

 _ **akagami hime chan** : I'm pretty sure there are plenty of fanarts and headcanons and fanfics of Oikawa with aliens and him getting abdcted! XD I think it's cute that he's such a geek~ It makes him more real, more like US, y'know? XD_

 _ **Stellar Nymph** : I thought the quotes were all from books but songs work as well! :)_

 _ **CocoaFirefly** : Ahah, thanks a lot! :D I hope you'll like this fanfic as much as Sowlmate! ;)_

 _ **CommandoGirl1127** : Kiku will lose her cool a few more times because of Hanamaki, the two of them will always get on each other's nerves - a bit like Kageyama and Hinata. Thank you for your compliment about my wrting! The pair of people concerning awkwardness... is this Ayakou? Or Kijime? Or both? XD It brought tears to my eyes to read your review - being a role model is such huge pressure! And I'm glad I manage to keep everyone IC, canon charcters and OC alike, and I'm glad my writings can help you in some way! :D *virtual hugs you*_

 _ **Rhea Ellace** : Iwaizumi is ALWAYS cute~ And handsome~ And cool~ AND- OK. I shut up now. Kiku is a very complex character with lots of aspects from different personalities! AND OMG. Okawa is SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE! He's like one of the greatest character to write with because he's a complex, has a deep personnality, keeps differents masks and is lots of fun! I love writing interesting character like him! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XVI : The 'Let's Get Iwa-chan with Kiku-chan' Plan

" _You're something between a dream and a miracle."_

— **Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Love Letters**

" _However, I've learned that the heart can't be told when and who and how it should love. The heart does whatever the hell it wants to do. The only thing we can control is whether we give our lives and our minds the chance to catch up to our hearts."_

— **Colleen Hoover, Maybe Someday**

" _A goal without a plan is just a wish."_

― **Antoine de Saint-Exupéry**

" _Hajime… Hajime…"_

 _It was Kiku's voice, calling him. Hajime saw Kiku standing in front of him, her hair messy and an adorable blush on her cheeks. She was wearing his Aoba Jousai's jersey and he felt so darn happy to see it on her frame, the sleeves being so long only her fingers could be seen._

" _Hajime, I'm wearing your jersey," she continued with a shy smile._

 _He didn't answer and took in the view of the girl he liked wearing his jersey. It was so stupid, really, but it felt like it was his way of claiming her – protecting her from the cold with his jacket, protecting her from the world if it were cold to her in any way. He wanted to answer "yeah, I know" but he only looked her up and down appreciatively._

" _I'm wearing_ _ **only**_ _your jersey," Kiku added._

 _Hajime stared at her, a little shocked, as her hand rose to the zipper and started pulling it down. He saw her bare breasts bouncing lightly from the sudden move and…_

" _Iwa-chan!" Kiku called, continuing to zip down her jacket, "_ _ **Iwa-chan!**_ _" She continued but when her lips moved, she sounded like Oikawa._

 _ **What the hell?**_ _Iwaizumi thought._

And he was kicked awake.

Hajime jumped up, pulling at his covers and giving a strangled scream.

"Finally awake, Sleeping Beauty?" Hanamaki asked from a nearby futon, checking stuff on his phone.

"Eh?"

Iwaizumi looked around and saw most of the team's futons empty, most boys of the volleyball team were getting ready, some were still sitting on their futons sleepily, trying to find the courage to move out of bed.

When he didn't receive any answer, Makki glanced at the Vice-Captain and raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't wake up when your phone rang, Iwa-chan, did you not sleep well?" Oikawa asked.

Before Iwaizumi could answer, Oikawa pulled at the cover of his futon – that had made its way around Iwaizumi in the night for supplementary wrapping.

"Fuck, I did it again?" He asked.

He _always_ somehow managed to kick whoever was sleeping nearby out of the futon and he'd end up with two futons in between his arms and legs – no one could figure out how he got tangled so much in his sleep. They were used to it now and Oikawa (or whoever was right next to Iwaizumi) was ready to be woken up in the night but it still meant less sleep than the others.

"You were repeating 'Kiku' and moaning in your sleep. It was a nice dream, I presume?" Oikawa asked while he tried to put some order on his sleeping place.

"You're having a boner?" Hanamaki asked without sugarcoating his words, still on his phone.

Hajime blushed fifty shades of red but couldn't deny that he was close to one – after his dream, and these words, it was hard to focus on not having one.

"Boners are taking care of in the last stall of the restrooms – it's the rule, Iwaizumi," Matsukawa said as he entered the room.

"I-I don't have a-a b-boner!" Iwaizumi exclaimed stubbornly.

"Yeah, sure," Makki snorted, "By the way, I just sent a message to Kiku telling her you had naughty dreams about her."

"WHAT?!"

Iwaizumi immediately tried to reach the phone but Makki managed to send the phone up in the air before it could land in his friend's hands. Mattsun caught it and by the time Iwaizumi had gotten up, untangled his legs from the futons and various covers, tripping on the way, Issei had already read the message sent by Makki. Blinking, he raised a curious eyebrow to Hanamaki who silently told him not to say anything. Without a word or even a gaze in the direction of the Ace, Matsukawa raised his arm up in the air, keeping the phone out of reach from the jumping, grunting Ace.

"You guys _do_ know we have to be in practice in like, less than half an hour? And breakfast before that?" Oikawa, who was (for once) surprisingly calm, asked.

"If you continue to be so loud, Mizoguchi will come and yell again…" Yahaba – already dressed and ready – said.

Iwaizumi finally caught Makki's phone and quickly read the message he had sent to Kiku – but found absolutely nothing.

"I don't even have her number, you idiot," Hanamaki mocked, grabbing his phone once again.

" _Y-you…!"_ Hajime cursed, suddenly feeling like punching something.

Once everyone had woken up, dressed, taken breakfast and moved into the gymnasium, practice started as usual. They had several breaks to keep up and lunch was in the cafeteria once again but this time, there was no alien-mermaid – to Hajime's great disappointment, even though he would never admit it outloud.

"Are you all texting your girlfriends?" Mizoguchi asked nonchalantly as he walked past the table of the third-years.

All of them – except Iwaizumi – had their eyes locked on their screens and fingers typing. Hajime glanced up at the coach curiously while Oikawa smiled at Mizoguchi:

"I don't know about Makki and Mattsun, but yes~ I miss her – I usually see her on Monday when there isn't any practice but with the Golden Week training camp… I can't see her until Saturday…"

"I'm getting laid Saturday as well," Makki piped up without bothering to glance up.

"I'm planning something too," Mattsun added.

"All of you young ones… always on your phones and with your girlfriends…" Mizoguchi sighed before turning towards a silent Iwaizumi, "And you? Iwaizumi? Planning anything with your lucky girl anytime soon?"

"Ah, uh, I don't have… a girlfriend…" He answered, a little sheepishly.

"Yet," Oikawa breathed.

"Yet~" Makki added with a snort.

"Yet!" Mattsun finished.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes while Mizoguchi turned to him completely with a smile – it felt an awful lot like an uncle being proud of his nephew's conquests.

"You have someone in view, Iwaizumi?" He asked.

"Uuuh…"

Iwaizumi had the instinct to glance at Irihata who was the uncle of the girl he actually had in view, but instead, he stared at his empty bowl. There was a moment of silence during which his three friends wondered whether or not they could tell Mizoguchi about Iwaizumi's feelings for Kiku-chan. If Mizoguchi knew, he'd tell Irihata – but he already knew.

"Iwa-chan likes KiiiAAAAh!" Oikawa shouted when he received a sharp hit at his side from his friend.

"DON'T! Say a thing!" Iwaizumi yelled, flushing.

Thankfully, Mizoguchi didn't connect the dots and only chuckled light-heartedly – he was in a good mood apparently.

"It's all right! It's perfectly fine to fall in love at this age! Ah, I remember when I was your age, there was this girl I started dating in my third-year."

"Duh, don't tell me, she dumped you?" Makki asked, raising an eyebrow.

And there went Mizoguchi's rare good mood. A pissed off expression appeared on his face as he answered angrily:

" _No_ , she didn't dump me! We stayed together for two years! I found out she was cheating on me _then_ she dumped me!"

"Oh, dude, that stings," Makki said, blinking.

"Coming from boys who don't have girlfriends for more than a few weeks when they're lucky – that's ironic! You don't even know what it's like to date someone out of love!" He snapped before walking away in annoyance.

"That's because we don't want to suffer and become an irritated old man like you that we don't date out of love," Makki muttered to himself with a shrug.

Oikawa glanced up at him quickly then decided to abandon his phone for the moment, putting it down and turning towards Iwa-chan.

"Except one – tell me, Iwa-chan, when will you ask Kiku-chan out?" He asked loudly.

"Shhh!" Iwa-chan exclaimed, covering his friend's mouth when several people glanced over to them – and among them, Irihata.

"Ich not lak hesoshen na, Itcha-chen…" Oikawa muttered against Iwaizumi's hand.

"What?" Mattsun asked.

Tooru pushed away the hand from his face before repeating what he had just said:

"It's not like he doesn't know, Iwa-chan. I think he knew before _you_ did that you had a thing for his niece." He said with a shrug.

"It's not a reason to scream it on the rooftops, Oikawa!" Iwaizumi complained, frowning at his friend.

"Someday, you'll be the one screaming from the rooftops your feelings for Kiku-chan~"

"ARGH!"

Iwaizumi let himself fall against his chair, not wanting to deal with it any more. Unfortunately, the third-years were now hooked on the topic and wouldn't give up:

"But seriously, though, you like her, she likes you, why not date her?" Mattsun asked.

Hanamaki glanced at Iwaizumi, thinking back on the fact that Kiku didn't want to date him for whatever reason he couldn't comprehend. But he was curious to know what Hajime thought of the situation.

"B-because… I-it's complicated, okay?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, flushing and glancing away.

"The only complicated thing in this story is how shy you two are," Makki intervened, "And even if coach is Kiku's uncle – he won't tell you to fuck off, so you're free to do as you please."

"Please stop reminding me that Irihata is her _uncle!"_ Iwaizumi whined, putting his face in his hands.

"Makki is right, Iwa-chan, if you want to date Kiku-chan, you can do it! She'll definitely say yes, so there's nothing to worry about! Also, didn't you say you'd make her your girlfriend?"

"I never said that!"

"Yes, you did – you said it when we practice the three-on-three the other day!"

"I-it was! It was _different!"_ Iwaizumi exclaimed before glancing away, "A-also… stuff happened since then… Kiku… she might like me but she doesn't seem to be willing to date me…"

"What would make you think that?" Oikawa asked genuinely confused.

Hanamaki observed closely Iwaizumi as he frowned to himself and continued in a hushed voice to not be heard by anyone else but the other third-years:

"She ran away when… that _accident_ happened… She didn't want to talk about it either when we met in class again, and then it's like nothing had ever happened! But it _did!_ But she acts as if nothing had happened at all! And she acts the same with everyone – whether it's me, Yahaba, Kindaichi, you or anyone, she's always blushing and shy and _adorable_ and it's SO frustrating!"

"Uh, she doesn't act the same with me – she _punches_ me, but well." Hanamaki said, everyone ignoring him.

"So, basically, you're so busy being jealous for no reason that you're not making any move?" Matsukawa concluded.

Hajime blinked at him, realized it was true and glanced away in a mix of frustration and embarrassment. Before anyone could add anything, Makki spoke up again:

"Kiku has always acted like that with everyone, she's shy and socially awkward – that's normal if she acts shy in front of everyone. But she's so much more relaxed near you, _that's_ the thing, Iwaizumi – she lets down her walls when she's around you."

Everyone stared at him who was, for once, speaking honestly about Kiku and what he thought of her relationship with Hajime:

"But there's one thing you got right – she doesn't want to date you."

"Makki! How could you say that?!" Oikawa exclaimed while Iwaizumi's shoulders slumped down.

"I talked with Kiku, I _asked_ her what she wanted – she doesn't want to date Iwaizumi. I don't think she wants to date anyone actually. Sorry for you but unless you convince her you're worth it, she'll say no." Hanamaki continued, turning towards his friend.

Hajime stared at him for a long time, taking in the weight of these words. Tooru and Issei glanced worriedly between their two friends, gazes finally resting on Iwaizumi's face…

"Iwa-chan…" Oikawa finally said, sounding sad.

Hajime's face darkened and he looked down, trying to play it cool.

"It's okay. I'm not cut out for dating anyway. And Kiku deserves someone better than me."

Takehiro raised his eyebrows, tempted to throw in another comment but he didn't have the heart to do that now. He couldn't tell Iwaizumi that the reason why Kiku didn't want to date him was because she thought _he_ deserved better.

"Iwa-chan…" Oikawa repeated.

He threw a pleading gaze towards Makki, silently telling him to go back on his words and pretend it was just a joke. Anything that would lift up Iwaizumi's spirits but when no one piped up another word, he felt annoyance. Towards Makki for saying such thing, for Mattsun for pretending he didn't care (but Oikawa _knew_ he cared), himself for not finding the right thing to say to motivate Iwa-chan, and Iwa-chan for giving up so easily.

For a short moment, Oikawa hesitated – sure, he wanted his friend to be with the girl he liked, but there were other motives behind Tooru's push… he regretted going so far if it meant hurting both Kiku and Hajime. But now, whatever reasons he had initially had, the only thing Oikawa wanted was to see his best friend and Kiku, who _belonged_ together, _finally_ together.

Suddenly standing up, Tooru's chair flew down, attracting everyone's attention in the cafeteria to him:

"I will _not_ have this!" He declared, "Look at you! You look like a kicked puppy, Iwa-chan!"

"Eh?! Oikawa– what are _you–!"_

"You _will_ date Kiku-chan even if it takes you years to make it happen!" Oikawa continued with a determined voice.

There was a heavy silence during which Hajime's face turned fifty shades of red. Everyone was staring at them, a bit shocked, that Oikawa had screamed something like that so loudly.

Irihata was gaping at the third-years, not understanding what the hell they were planning but he didn't like that it involved his niece's heart. The coach opened his lips to say something but the Ace beat him to it:

"O-oi…! W-what are you! _Shut up_ , Trashykawa!" Iwaizumi stood up suddenly.

"B-but, I just want your happiAaaAAww!"

Tooru's voice turned into a strangled screech as Hajime grabbed his collar and started dragging him away from the cafeteria, his feet angrily stomping the floor.

"…Looks like I don't have to say a thing, after all…" Irihata murmured to himself with a half-smile while the third-years and some other curious teammates decided to follow to _'make sure they didn't go into a fight'_ (read: to gossip).

Mizoguchi blinked in confusion, watching the swinging doors then back at the head-coach:

"Eh? _Eh?_ Iwaizumi wants to date Kiku-chan?" He asked in confusion.

Irihata gave him a long look before sighing and standing up:

"Took you long enough to figure it out…"

"Wait – what? It's true?" Mizoguchi continued, not understanding what was happening.

The air in Oikawa's lungs was pulsed out when his back violently met a wall. He gasped in pain and Iwaizumi felt a twinge of worry and guilt before anger won over:

"What were you _thinking?!_ Screaming like that in front of _everyone?!_ And among them Irihata who is Kiku's _uncle…?!"_

"S-stop fixating on their relationship!" Oikawa whined, "I just want you happy – and I'm not saying that to make you stop glaring at me like that no matter how frightening it is!" He exclaimed, staring back.

Iwaizumi thinned his lips, clenching his fists before realizing that he was _indeed_ , glaring a little too viciously at his friend. He didn't stop glaring, though – Trashykawa had deserved it.

"B-but, you look very happy when you're around Kiku and perhaps it'd make you less irritable if you had a girlfriend! And Kiku-chan looks so joyful around you as well – you're the only one to make her feel like that! I know you're not blind, neither is Kiku, and if you two were giving each other a chance, you could have a really good and healthy relationship! If you weren't that stubborn, that is!" Oikawa exclaimed, frowning lightly at his friend.

Surprised, and mildly annoyed, to get scolded by Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi's anger died down to leave only astonishment. He couldn't deny that there was a bit of truth in these words…

"Makki said it – you just have to convince Kiku-chan that you're worth dating, even if that's a long shot…"

"EH…?!"

"B-BUT! She'd say yes! If you convince her!" Oikawa exclaimed, frightened when he saw the look on Iwaizumi's face.

"…Hanamaki also said that she doesn't want to date anyone at the moment…"

"…Aren't you a bit curious to find out why, then?" Oikawa muttered, pouting a little.

Iwaizumi huffed but threw a curious look at his friend, silently asking him what he meant by that. Tooru took a brave step away from the wall and pulled at his wrinkled tshirt from the earlier rough handling.

"Kiku-chan is a quiet but nice girl, she probably never interested any guy because she's not the typical attractive girl. She's kinda cute but more friendly than someone we'd see romantically. Which means that _until now_ , no guy approached her with the intention of dating her – we can agree on that, right?" Oikawa asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"…I follow your line of thoughts for now." Iwaizumi grumbled, still frowning.

"Even when it comes to friends – she doesn't have many and she's been bullied, not just this year in your class, but it's probably something that comes back often and explains her anxiousness around people. Right?"

"Hmmpf." He nodded.

"And then _you_ came into the picture, Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa exclaimed happily, spreading his arms around, "You took notice of her, you looked at her, you became friends, you have crush on each other that slowly turned into pure love~!"

"…I wouldn't go as far as saying it turned into 'pure love' but… what's your point, Oikawa?"

"You turned her world totally upside-down! Not only she has a good friend she can count on, but he's a _guy_ who is _attracted_ to her and _shows_ his attraction – and she feels the _same!_ She doesn't know how to act and thus, she prefers to stay safe behind the walls she has built around her! She doesn't want to date because that's way too wild for her and she doesn't know how to act for you other than as just 'friends attracted to each other' and can't imagine going any further!"

"…I can understand that much about her, thanks… but I don't see how I could convince her of anything – if she doesn't feel like dating because of her insecurities then–"

"Iwa-chan! That's _it!_ You have to convince her that her insecurities don't matter to you! That you're ready to date her no matter what!" Oikawa exclaimed, grabbing his friend's shoulders.

Iwaizumi hesitated, glancing around. Kiku's insecurities were part of her – he couldn't ask her to erase all of her insecurities simply because of him… It'd take time and labor to convince her he was serious about her and wouldn't push her. But even if they had had lots of things happening between them… it didn't feel like their relationship had changed much over the past few weeks. They were still shy, socially-awkward Akiyama Kiku and confident, protective Iwaizumi Hajime.

Seeing the light of understanding and slowly self-convincing of how far he'd go in Iwaizumi's eyes, Oikawa smiled to himself and took a step away.

"Maybe she thinks that's just a big joke?"

Oikawa and Iwaizumi turned towards Makki and Mattsun who approached calmly – obviously after listening to the whole thing. The rest of the team was half-hidden behind a wall, wondering whether or not they could come out.

"What'd you mean?" Iwaizumi asked his friend, frowning once again.

"Well… Like Oikawa said – Kiku never interested _anyone_. The chances that she'd find her way in the second most popular guy's heart of our school are as thin as rice paper."

"I'd say even thinner," Makki remarked.

"In Kiku's mind, she probably thinks that if it's not a dream then it's a carefully made joke to ridicule her. The moment she'd show interest and trust in you – you'd reveal the whole thing in front of the whole school and she'd be scarred for life, and you'd have the funniest time of your life."

"EH?! How is that any fun?! I wouldn't do that! I've never thought that!" Iwaizumi yelled, insulted by this idea.

"I know! But that's probably how Kiku's mind work, right?" Mattsun continued.

"In the same time, Kiku-chan isn't stupid, she observes and understands people," Oikawa answered thoughtfully, "Iwa-chan is blunt, rough and terribly honest – she knows by now he's not this type of person."

"Well, then, she might just not like you enough to let her walls down for you," Mattsun shrugged.

"How is that helpful, Mattsun?!" Oikawa exclaimed, tired of his useless friends.

"Oh, I'm getting tired of this whole thing!" Hanamaki exclaimed before putting his hand down on Iwaizumi's shoulder, "Kiku has been in love with you since first-year – don't ask me why, I don't _know_ , she was just in love for _that long!_ She _enjoyed_ your accidental, not-real kiss! Also, she doesn't want to date you! That's all I learned so far! Go ask her out before I rip my eyes out to see you two staring at each other form across the gymnasium, got it?!"

There was a long and stunned silence. Hajime's lips fell open and Oikawa's eyes widened. Mattsun only scratched his nose, looking uninterested while the second and first-years who were a few meters away were watching the scene intensely, feeling like they were in a movie theater.

"She's… liked Iwa-chan since first-year…? B-but… it doesn't make sense…?" Oikawa hesitated, blinking in disbelief.

"B-but…" Iwaizumi stammered, blushing at the idea that his Kiku has been in love with him for so long – and he had never noticed her before the first day of their third-year!

"Most girls confess their love whether they have a chance or not – Kiku-chan didn't. She's liked you for a very long time, obviously has strong feelings if it remained so long in her heart… but she doesn't want to confess or date you?" Oikawa theorized outloud before clicking his fingers, attracting everyone's attention back on him, "I SAY! It only deepens the mystery! Social anxiety or not! Something's weird! Perhaps she got her heart broken in middle-school or something! Iwa-chan! You need to figure out the truth and use it to ask her out!" Oikawa decided, clapping his hand on his shoulder.

"What…"

"That's decided! The 'Let's get Iwa-chan with Kiku-chan' plan can now start!" Oikawa exclaimed, throwing his fist to the sky.

"Wait…"

"YEAAAH!" Everyone (including the ones who had listened from afar until now) exclaimed, throwing their hands to the ceiling as well.

"OI! Do I have my word to say in this?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, blushing terribly but no one listened to him – _as per fucking usual!_

* * *

 _Next chapter will be more interesting, I promise! "_

 _Thank you all for your support!_

 _The ones who read Sowlmate know it already but I wanted to put it here for the QV's readers as well:while writing Sowlmate's chapter 77, I made a comparison of Ayaka (other OC) being a quiet moon. And after some thinking time, I realized that ALL of my OC's for Haikyuu boys have personalities/are associated with a certain form of stellar, spacey stuff - Kohaku (From Evening to Dawn) is, well, the light morning sun; Kiku (Quiet Voice) is the bright, happy summer sun; Ayaka (Sowlmate) is the moon; Akane ( ~yet to come~ Deep Red) the dark night; ~Surprise Name for Oikawa's girl~ (~yet to come~ Alien) the sparkling stars._

 _Thank you everyone! NEXT CHAPTER : SOMETHING NO ONE ELSE KNOWS_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	17. Something No One Else Knows

_Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited! :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Glad you liked last chapter! ^.^" I hope you'll like this chapter as well - we have a little insight on Kiku's life and we'll start learning more and more about her. ;) Akane from "Deep Red" IS the one who is introduced in the summer festival and will be Kuroo's girl; as for Oikawa's girl, there has been no sign of her so far and won't be any. But he WILL talk about it at some point. ;)_

 _ **Krisia** : I'll try to make some Makki and Kiku flashbacks then! XD Why she won't date Iwa-chan will be revealed later on, along with her past. I did call you Krisia, there~! ;)_

 _ **starrat** : So happy! Ihope you'll lilke this chapter as well! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Oikawa ahs been trying to put these two together from th ebeginning, but now, the whole team is trying and they're getting SERIOUS. Causing some mayhem in the way (next chapters). I don't know if his plans will be ridiculous, but kinda cliché. But effective. ;D_

 _ **Rhea Ellace** : Lol, I'm lazy, except for writing! XD Oikawais honestly one of the best character of Haikyuu to write (along with Iwaizumi, Kuroo, Bokuto, aKAASHI, who are all deep and complex characters...) and one of the funiest and most interested to write with! :D Kiku is shy, but once she's used to people (OR if Makki pisses her off) she's pretty wild! ;) _

_**pinkdoughtnuts** : Don't worry, Iwa-chan isn't the type to give up so easily~! ;)_

 _ **redninjalass19** : So happy to know you love my stories! :D I must admit, I got a little confused with the crossover parts because you said, llike, every name? XD I can say that Bokuto and Ayaka will appear in THIS story, Quiet Voice. In Sowlmate, Oikawa and Iwaizumi will appear as well, with the mention of Kiku and even, Oikawa's future girl. As for Kuroo and Oikawa's stories - they will be set post-high-school and a huge part of the story will be,well, when they're training on the National team along with Ushijima and Bokuto so these two willbe there all the time (Iwaizumi will be there a lot as well). Kiku will be a lot in Oikawa's story. All that to say that, yes, Kijime and Ayakou will appear in both stories! :D_

 _ **Tamani** : I can't tell if Hanamaki wants Kijime ot get together or if he wants to ruin their chances by embarrassing them both? Your review made me so laugh, thank you! XD_

 _ **Houshikun001** : The whol eteam love thier Ace and wants his happiness with Kiku, of course they're supporting him! And thank you so much for what you said about the review-answers and the quotes! :D_

 _ **AmericanNidiot** : I wrote Takehiro? I'm so sorry! I always mess up between Takahiro and Takehiro! I'M SO SORRY MAKKI! T.T I like anime sports as well but never watched Prince of Tennis... " As for a weakness for animals... onee of my headcanon concerning Iwa-chan is in this chapter! ;D_

 _ **Reader fan** : Thank you! I'm so happy you're enjoying it! :D I think the moment when Kiku told Oikawa "why would I be interested in you?" will remain in everyone's memories - mostly Oikawa, he can't get over his trauma, the poor thing... COME ON! We all know that Oikawa convinced Iwa-chan to go digsuigsed at a party or something as Sherlock Holmes and Watson and that Iwa-chan/Watson ended up trying to make Sherlock/Oikawa swallow his pipe at some point! XD Thank you for your support! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XVII : Something No One Else Knows

" _Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart."_

— **Kahlil Gibran**

" _They told me that to make her fall in love, I had to make her laugh. But everytime she laughs, I'm the one who falls in love."_

— **Tommaso Ferraris**

" _I take pleasure in my transformations. I look quiet and consistent, but few know how many women there are in me."_

― **Anaïs Nin**

" _Lonely people read a lot, but talk and hear little, life is mysterious for them: they're mystics and often see the devil where he's not."_

— **Anton Chekhov, A Medical Case**

" _All we need is someone to let us in."_

— **Anne Sexton, "Hurry Up Please It's Time"**

"Iwaizumi!" Hanamaki called.

The Vice-Captain whipped around and caught his jersey thrown to him by his friend.

"Ah, thanks!" Iwaizumi answered, already dressed and leaving the showers and bath.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who had just exited the bath with towels around their waists, stared at him in confusion just as Yahaba went out as well.

"Where is Iwaizumi-san going?" He asked curiously because the Ace had seemed to be in a hurry.

"Probably to stalk his future girlfriend or something," Makki answered with a shrug.

For once, Iwaizumi hadn't stayed with Oikawa to watch over him while he was over-practicing as usual. Instead, as soon as the rest of the team had shown signs that they wanted to go take their showers after the long, exhausting day of practice, the wing-spiker had gone with them. He had taken a quick shower and bath before getting dressed before anyone else.

Hajime stopped suddenly at the cafeteria door, listening for a short moment to Kiku's singing. He took a deep breath then pushed open the swinging doors, trying to keep a casual look by putting his hands in his pockets.

"Hey!" He greeted with a shy smile.

But she continued singing, not realizing someone had come in. Kiku was turning her back to him, working behind the counter to prepare the dinner for the volleyball team. She had headphones and her hair was swinging to the rhythm of the song she was listening to.

Feeling like an idiot because Kiku hadn't heard him, Hajime stared awkwardly until he met Mizoguchi's gaze. The coach glanced between Iwaizumi and Kiku before his lips opened in a 'o' shape and he gave an overly obvious wink in the direction of Iwaizumi. Mizoguchi didn't realize that he was caught by Kiku who glanced up at him curiously, before following his gaze and blinking upon seeing Iwaizumi who was making fast gestures to his coach to tell him to stop. Realizing they had been caught by the girl, both Mizoguhi and Iwaizumi turned to Kiku and stopped all gestures as she pulled out her headphones from her ears.

"Iwaizumi-san!" She exclaimed with a big smile, "You're here early…"

"A-ah, uh, h-hi… I didn't… expected you here…" He said awkwardly.

Kiku blinked at that and he cursed himself because Kiku was _supposed_ to be here – if anything, he had hurried to come all the way here _because_ she was supposed to be here!

"I have to go see Irihata, can I let you handle things from here, Kiku-chan?" Mizoguchi asked the girl.

"Sure," she answered with a nod and smile as the coach took off his apron.

Mizoguchi went by a side-door and arrived in the cafeteria, he patted Iwaizumi on the shoulder with a not very discreet wink before leaving.

Kiku glanced quickly at Hajime before looking back at what she was doing and finishing to make piles of bowls and plates.

"C-can I help you?" He asked hesitantly.

"No, thank you, I'm already done. I just have to keep an eye on the cooking." She answered, turning around with a smile.

She wiped her hands on the apron then approached the counter hesitantly.

"Where are all the others?" She asked, tilting her head on a side.

"Um… g-good question, probably still in the shower…"

"…You must have taken yours really fast, then." Kiku remarked calmly.

Hajime flushed in embarrassment, afraid his intentions had been understood by Kiku. But then, she suddenly reached out to him and touched his hair shyly, almost tenderly. Shocked, he turned wide eyes towards her and noticed her blushed cheeks and hesitant smile.

"Your hair is still wet… you'll get a cold if you don't dry it correctly, Iwaizumi-san…" She murmured, fingers leaving his hair to his regret – it had felt good when she had dived her fingers in it, "I'm surprised it's still spiked up, though."

"Uuugh… it's always been like that…" He answered sheepishly, leaning against the counter to be closer to Kiku.

"I thought you were using hair gel or something – it's cute that your hair looks good naturally!" She exclaimed.

He blushed terribly before a long, but comfortable silence, settled. It didn't feel awkward this quietness, it soothed Iwaizumi and he felt like he could fall asleep right now. He felt so warm, so safe, so groggy after an entire day of practice… He put his elbows on the counter and leaned down until his head rested against his arms, and he glanced up at Kiku's face.

She stood not far away from him, keeping her eyes focused on her fingers, on the lower part of the counter on her side… Sensing a gaze on her, she looked up in Hajime's beautiful eyes and she stopped breathing, blushing when she noticed his gaze on her and only her. She smiled shyly but then, Hajime spoke up quietly:

"Tell me something I don't know yet about you," he requested suddenly.

It was what he was supposed to do, right? Yesterday, his friends had given him 'advices' to find out more about Kiku, and mostly, to make her fall in love with him. More, at least. Enough for him to gather the courage to ask her out.

" _Show your muscles,"_ Makki had said; _"Just kiss her and end this pining,"_ Mattsun had said; _"Be kind and charming,"_ Watari had said; _"Share your passions!"_ Kindaichi had said; _"Make her laugh!"_ Yahaba had said; _"Find out more about her, show you're interested in her!"_ Oikawa had said…

Kiku stared at him, a little stunned, before pondering this for a moment.

Neither was aware of the entire volleyball team gathered behind the swinging doors, looking at the show through the round windows – only their Captain wasn't here yet, approaching them from afar.

"What's the emergency you told me about, Makki?" Oikawa asked, annoyed to have interrupted his practice earlier than usual _and_ to have hurried for his shower, hair still wet.

"SSHHH!" They all exclaimed, whipping towards the setter with a finger in front of their mouths.

"Iwaizumi's making a move onto Kiku!" He answered in a hushed voice.

"OH?! Move out of the way!" Oikawa exclaimed at once, pushing away Makki and Mattsun to look through the window.

"OI! Calm down!" Matsukawa exclaimed, pushing him off once again.

The three battled a little for the best spot to look from the window then settled for sharing it, the rest of the team on the other window or trying to see from afar.

Kiku thought deeply about Hajime's question, half wondering if she should find some hidden meaning behind it, but she decided to shrug it off simply to focus on it.

"I like dancing," she said with a shy smile.

"Eh? Really?" He asked, blinking surprised eyes and raising his head from his arms once again, "I knew you liked gymnastics and all of these stuff… but dancing too?"

"What about you?" She asked with a smile.

"Me what?" He blinked.

"Tell me something about you I don't know yet." She said with a smile, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms.

The skin of her forearm brushed his and Hajime had to focus on her question, the meaning of her words and how to speak. At a loss at what to say, he blinked and flushed before smiling awkwardly:

"I don't like dancing," he answered awkwardly.

Kiku blinked at his echo of her own answer, then she jerked her head backwards and laughed. Hajime's eyes widened and his heart missed a beat before warmth took over him. For a moment, he lost all consciousness of where he was and what was happening. The only thing he knew was that he was with Kiku and her laugh was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

"Somehow, I could tell!" She exclaimed before looking back at him with sparkling eyes, "You should ask Hanamaki! He's a very good dancer!"

Hajime stared at her in disbelief and almost immediately, she gasped and covered her lips with her hands.

"Oh… Oh dear, I had promised not to tell anyone he knew…" She murmured, flushing in embarrassment.

Hajime was surprised that despite the antagonism between the two, and especially Hanamaki's open dislike of the girl, Kiku was kind enough to respect his wishes – Takahiro was probably not quite as nice concerning Kiku's secrets.

But then, it occurred to him that _Hanamaki Takahiro_ , his friend for _three years_ , had never mentioned _once_ enjoying dancing and that he was apparently good at it! Suddenly laughing, Hajime quickly covered his mouth to smother the sound, looking back at Kiku with happy eyes:

"Oh! I am SO going to use this as blackmail!" He exclaimed.

"NO! Please, _don't!_ He'll know I'm the one who told you!" She whined.

She threw him a pleading look, pouting lightly and despite the laugh still bubbling out of his throat, Hajime couldn't resist to this adorable face she was making.

"Okay, okay… I… I won't mention it unless it's an absolute emergency…" He answered with an amused smile.

"That's the best I'll obtain so… thank you, I think," she answered with a sigh.

He chuckled once again and didn't realize right away that Kiku started staring. Until their gazes met and she quickly looked away, cheeks turning a bright red. Flushing as well, Hajime glanced away, heart beating like drums and scratching in cheek in embarrassment.

"…Your smile is beautiful."

"Eh?"

Hajime looked back towards Kiku who smiled to herself, glancing down because she was too embarrassed to meet his eyes directly:

"Y-your smile… it's a beautiful smile, Iwaizumi-san…" She murmured in a low voice, fingers fumbling together.

Blushing, Hajime swallowed hard, trying to find something to tell her. He wanted to answer to her – that her smile and laugh were beautiful, but before he could find the courage to do so, Kiku quickly looked up and spoke up again:

"I don't see your smile very often… it's because it's so rare that your smile is so precious." She explained with a soft expression.

Eyes widening, Hajime was even more at a loss at what to say. He blushed even more and his hand rubbed the back of his neck as he looked away… but slowly, he felt a smile appear on his face once again. He wasn't sure what had caused it – Kiku's beautiful expression, her compliment, the sheer happiness of spending time with her? – but he was smiling and he felt good.

"Thanks…" He whispered, glancing at her intensely, "You too… your should smile more often. Y-you… you're very pretty when you smile and laugh… it's like, the whole world illuminates thanks to the brightness of your smile…"

Kiku blinked, blushing terribly at his words. Hajime held back a gasp as he stiffened.

 _EH?! It sounded so cheesy! What the hell?! I'm not Oikawa! What the hell am I saying?! It's the truth but…! WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING?!_ He thought to himself in panic.

He was about to apologize or add something but Kiku then glanced down shyly in the most adorable way, a beautiful smile appearing on her face. Hajime was pretty sure that flowers appeared and that the world was at peace and all endangered species saved.

"Thank you…" She whispered in the softest voice.

He jumped to force himself to answer:

"Y-you! Welcaa- welco- YoweLL… coo… m-me, y-you're… wel… come…" He stammered, voice turning into an embarrassing squeak.

There was some more comfortable silence during which Hajime struggled to find his breathing once again.

"Tell me something no one else knows – not even Oikawa-san…" Kiku suddenly requested, looking right into his eyes.

A little stunned by this strange request, Hajime thought about it a moment…

"Something not even Oikawa know…" He murmured to himself.

"There _must_ be something," she added with a chuckle.

Hajime thought of a few things he wasn't sure whether or not Oikawa knew about. There _must_ be something but what could possibly…

Flushing in embarrassment, he glanced back at Kiku. He bit his lower lip quickly worriedly before glancing around to make sure there was no one around before turning back towards the girl:

"…I-I love cute baby animals, so every week, I make sure to walk by the pet shop to see them… No one knows about it, except the lady of the shop who lets me pet the baby animals after so many years of walking by…" He admitted, red on his cheeks.

Kiku blinked her eyes before smiling – not out of mockery, but because she found it to be the most adorable thing she had ever heard someone say.

Hearing nothing but her silence, Hajime glanced away, feeling like he had ruined all of his chances of ever being with her – she must think him so lame now.

"S-sorry, it's stupid…" He mumbled.

"I-it's one of my favorite thing to do as well…" She murmured with a smile, "So… it's not stupid at all…"

Surprised, he glanced up at her, blinked then smiled sheepishly, scratching the side of his cheek.

"O-oh…"

He smiled to himself before looking back into Kiku's eyes:

"You too – tell me something no one else knows…" He asked, blushing.

"Aah…" She hesitated, chuckling a little.

She thought about it for a long moment before turning back towards him:

"There is something only my parents know… would it be fine?" She asked hesitantly with a side smile.

"As long as it's something I would know before anyone else, yes…" He answered eagerly.

She glanced around the cafeteria then leaned over the counter, giving him a sign to get closer. He flushed but leaned, cursing the fact that he had to get on his tiptoes a little – but thankfully she didn't notice it. He felt his entire body warm up when her lips brushed his ear to whisper to him and only him:

"I have a tattoo," she whispered.

Hajime pulled away, staring at the girl with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I have a tattoo," she repeated with a little, slightly coy, smile.

"B-but!" He stammered, blinking in disbelief.

He would have never imagined _Akiyama Kiku_ of all people to have a tattoo – he was so surprised that he couldn't even react except stare at her. Why the hell would she think of having a tattoo? What happened for her to get one? Was she joking? _No_ , she was being honest.

" _You?_ You have a _tattoo?"_ He asked once again, incredulity hitting him hard.

She nodded, a smile playing on her lips – she definitely enjoyed seeing him so dumbstruck.

"…Okay. What is it and where is it?" He asked, half wanting a proof of it because it was just unbelievable…

Kiku smirked smugly before answering:

"I'd have to take off my clothes to show it to you, but maybe someday I'll let you have a look at it?" She answered.

He blushed at the suggestion _and_ knowing that she had _somewhere on her body covered by clothes_ a tattoo… For a moment he let his thoughts wander to find out where her tattoo could possibly be – leg? Back? Stomach? Somewhere else?

Hajime and Kiku's discussion was interrupted by the sound of a ringing clock.

"Ah, it's all ready!" She exclaimed, going to turn off the ovens before glancing around curiously, "It's strange that no one else has arrived yet from the showers… Usually everyone comes in the cafeteria and starts drooling…"

"Yeah, it's strange that…"

Hajime's voice trailed off when he leaned away from the counter and caught sight of his teammates' faces in the doors' round windows. Of course they wouldn't come drooling at the scent of dinner. They were too busy spying on their Ace and Kiku.

Realizing they were caught, they all pushed off each other and hurried away from Hajime's narrowed, dangerous eyes. Kiku didn't notice a thing because she was too busy taking care of the cooking meal and looking for Mizoguchi who had disappeared for far longer than expected.

"Iwaizumi-san, would you mind go find the others?" She asked.

"Yeah…" He answered, walking towards the swinging-doors.

He found his team trying to act nonchalant and innocent, awkwardly leaning against the walls or each other. They probably tried acting natural – but it resulted in Yahaba playing the yakuza against the wall and frowning at something in front of him, Kindaichi was hiding behind a neutral Kunimi (but he was taller than him so it didn't work), Watari facing the wall and only inches from it, Mattsun was leaning on Makki who had lifted up one leg against the wall and was resting his elbow on said-leg, while Oikawa had leaned against the wall as if he was seducing some invisible girl.

Unimpressed at their lack of discretion, and the third-years' teasing grins, Iwaizumi stared at his friends. He knew very well that they didn't hear a thing – but had seen Kiku whispering something in his ear and from the way they were all trying to hide their joyful expressions and excitedly shivering bodies, they were holding back from asking any question.

Oikawa opened his lips to ask his friend how it had gone, but Iwaizumi cut him before the sound of his voice could fill the hall:

"Dinner's ready. And if anyone asks _anything_ , or gives the slightest _remark_ …"

His voice trailed off threateningly, a dangerous aura surrounding him, everyone startling and feeling chills running down their spines. Satisfied by their eager nods, Hajime pointed to the cafeteria, looking down at all of them as they walked past him.

The dinner was strangely calm this time and everyone enjoyed Kiku's meal, complimenting her as she left the ovens and cooking place to join them, standing a little awkwardly while everyone finished eating. Her father was supposed to come pick her up but he wasn't here yet so she was waiting.

"Kiku-chan~!" Oikawa called suddenly, waving at her when he noticed her standing aside, "Don't you eat with us?" He asked as she approached, thinking he wanted something else.

"A-ah no, I already ate before preparing dinner…" She explained sheepishly.

"Then, sit with us!" The Captain exclaimed eagerly.

He stood up with his trail in hands and before anyone had time to react, he pushed it down to a free seat before patting the chair he had just left – right next to Iwaizumi. Kiku hesitated, glancing over her shoulder at her uncle who either didn't seem to notice what had happened or ignored it completely. She sat hesitantly as Oikawa grinned, ignoring Iwaizumi's glare, and went back to his trail – in front of Kiku and Hajime.

Hajime continued eating, slower, trying not to think about Kiku's presence right next to him with his friends grinning at him teasingly.

"Dinner is excellent, Kiku-chan~ Did you cook it all by yourself~?" Oikawa continued enthusiastically.

"A-ah, Mizoguchi-san helped me…" She answered.

"Waah~ You're like our manager~"

Kiku focused on her hands on her laps, blushing at the compliment.

"It'd be nice having a manager – we were forced to give up all of our previous managers because of Oikawa…" Matsukawa remarked.

"H-hey! It's not my fault! I didn't mean for this to happen!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"If only we had been able to choose between Oikawa and a manager – but coach thought that, _for some reason,_ Oikawa was more important than a manager…" Hanamaki added with a shrug.

" _'For some reason'?!_ Makki! So mean! What do you mean _'if only we had been able to choose_ _'_ _?!"_ Oikawa whined, several players glancing at the third-years' table from the commotion.

"We would have chosen a cute manager instead of you," Makki and Mattsun said in harmony.

"How can you say such a thing…?! Iwa-chan! Say something!"

Iwaizumi lifted up his head from his bowl of rice and simply shrugged:

"With you on the team, we have more attack power but no manager. Without you on the team, we could still have a pretty good power, have a manager _and_ I would be rid of these constant headaches you create."

" _Iwa-chan!"_

But Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa smiled, everyone knowing they were just joking. Probably. Kiku smiled lightly at seeing such a good-hearted atmosphere then looked up at Iwaizumi:

"If you have headaches, you should drink ginger tea," she said with a smile.

"O-oh? I-I'll try, y-yeah… thanks…" He answered, cheeks flushing lightly.

The three other third-years smirked, Matsukawa opening his lips to add another comment:

"Great cook, takes care of you…" He started, playing it cool.

"Kiku-chan would make such a good wife~" Oikawa finished proudly.

Kiku blushed terribly, back to her usual shyness while Iwaizumi startled, glaring at his friends while his cheeks turned red. He wanted to shout at his friends but it would have been too obvious that he had been as flustered as Kiku at this not-so-innocent remark.

"By the way," Makki intervened to change topic before Oikawa got strangled, "Don't you have practice with your club?" He asked the girl, pointing his chopsticks at her.

Kiku stared at him a little suspiciously, not understanding why he would make genuine conversation with her. But after deciding that there was nothing wrong in what he asked, she answered:

"I do, but I promised Uncle Nobuteru to help out… You are very numerous after all."

"But your teammates, don't they mind?" Oikawa asked curiously.

Kiku blinked at this, tilting her head on a side:

"Why would they?"

Surprised by the innocent tone of her answer, they only stared at her. They played volleyball – a _team_ sports, they knew how important it was for teammates to get along and to spend time together on and off court.

"Kiku, your father is here," Irihata called.

Kiku quickly said goodbye to the boys, wished them a goodnight, then went off.

"Makki, do you know something?" Oikawa asked as soon as she was gone.

"How would I know?"

"You're her neighbor, you should know something," Mattsun added.

Makki seemed to ponder it for a moment before shrugging:

"I don't know, we never talk about her club activities…"

No one else added anything, changing the topic for something else; only Hajime continued thinking about Kiku and her cheerleading club…

 _The next day…_

"Everyone, you get to have a break for half an hour!" Mizoguchi called after they came back from a running.

Everyone sighed in relief, sitting down on the floor or stairs while eating some onigiris – practicing all day was hard and every break was gladly taken. The coaches had to discuss things and everyone was particularly exhausted after Iwaizumi had pushed them to their limits.

"Yahaba!" Iwaizumi called, making the second-year setter startle.

Lowering his voice as to make sure no one else would hear – even if he wasn't discreet – Iwaizumi ignored the way his cheeks felt a little hotter. But he _wasn't_ blushing, he swore to himself.

"Do you know where is held the cheerleading practice?" He asked, voice sounding closer to a grumble.

Yahaba blinked but nodded nevertheless, giving the indications to the wing-spiker who left the team.

Iwaizumi put his hand in his pockets to try to appear nonchalant. He would just go quickly to the gymnasium Yahaba had indicated to him, have a quick glance at Kiku and her team, and then he'd go back to the volleyball team, his disappearance unnoticed by anyone as long as Oi–

"Iwa-chan!"

Hajime froze completely, shoulders dropping.

 _As long as Oikawa didn't know…_

Knowing he had been caught and couldn't hide his intentions to his childhood friend, Iwaizumi waited for Oikawa to catch up with him then they continued walking side by side towards the gymnasium shared between the basket ball club and cheer leading club.

"You're going to see Kiku-chan? You're worried because of what she said last night?" Oikawa asked with a cheerful smile – before Iwaizumi could answer, he continued, "Aaah~ It's kind of cute and romantic from you~"

"…Why are you here?"

"Making sure you don't chicken out!"

"…"

"Also! It's fun! It's like a secret spying!"

"That's the real reason you're here, isn't it?" Iwaizumi sighed.

Oikawa laughed but didn't give a straightforward answer.

They arrived at the gymnasium and saw the big court divided in two by a net separating the basket ball club and cheer leading club.

"Look! Here is Kiku-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed in a hushed voice, elbowing his friend as they stood near the doors without entering the court.

Hajime's eyes were already on the girl. She was wearing a normal sports outfit and he was a little disappointed – he had half-hoped to see her in her cheer leading outfit but just like their uniforms they probably only put it on for official competitions and shows.

The cheer leading club was a mix with some boys and lots of girls, all doing some stunts and gymnastics to a rhythmic song, shouting their encouragements to some team of Aoba Jousai that wasn't actually here. The Captain – a third-year girl Oikawa knew from clubs' Captains' reunions at school – was counting loudly, everyone doing as she ordered. Iwaizumi and Oikawa watched everyone doing their stunts but after a while, they realized that Kiku was only standing on a side, counting with everyone else without participating. Then, towards the end of their routine, Kiku and another girl ran in front of the various pyramids and stunts made by the rest of the cheer leaders. And Kiku did an entire line of jumps, flips and other skillful moves that showed not only the unexpected muscles of the girl, but also her flexibility and grace.

It was like watching a completely different version of the usual shy girl Hajime knew.

"It's just like you…" He murmured, earning a confused glance from Oikawa, "You're totally different on and off court – Kiku is the same. Totally different from her usual shy behavior…"

Oikawa didn't answer, just looked back at the cheer leaders continuing their practice with a rare seriousness on his face…

"The only reason why I behave differently on and off court is because I act accordingly to everyone's expectations." He answered in a low voice.

He was heard by Hajime who glanced at his friend. If someone knew Oikawa Tooru better than anyone… it was him, and yet, there were still times where he got confused about whether or not his friend was wearing a mask or not. Acting according to everyone's expectations… Oikawa was considered a flirt and happy-go-lucky guy, charming and popular with girls – of course he'd act this way around his fans and everyone who saw him only as that. But underneath this joyful mask hid bitterness and fear, years of hard-work, endless practice, thirst for victory… The seriousness Oikawa was showing on the court was only one side of his personality, but it was the closest to what people could see of his true personality without knowing him.

"Mm…" Hajime agreed with a little nod.

Better than ever, he realized how much Kiku and Oikawa's personality were similar: both hid feelings bottled up deep inside them, and both wore a mask to fit everyone's expectations of them. Hajime had a pretty good idea of what kind of mask Kiku was wearing – but he was lost at what it was hiding.

"Ah! It's Oikawa-senpai and Iwaizumi-senpai!" Some girl on the cheerleading club exclaimed suddenly.

At once, all focus from the cheer leaders disappeared and squeals of girls resonated all around – Hajime growled, it was exactly to avoid that reaction that he hadn't wanted Oikawa to come at all. Tooru put on his mask and waved with a charming smile at the girls who approached, but kept their distance as their team Captain neared the volleyball Captain:

"Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san, is there anything you need?" She asked curiously.

"Mm, no, we were just curious about the cheer leaders of our school so we came to watch your practice. I hope it's no bother?" Oikawa asked.

"Not at all! It was just a surprise!" She answered with a smile, "Everyone, break!"

While the cheer leading club spread around to drink water and wipe off the sweat, glancing at the Captain and Vice-Captain of the volleyball club, Hajime looked around. He noticed Kiku drinking water. On her own, while everyone else was in groups of two or three or more. Frowning lightly, Hajime turned back towards the two Captains who were discussing quietly:

"Oi, Ki– I mean, Akiyama-san… why is she all alone over there?" He asked.

The cheer leading Captain blinked then glanced over her shoulder, as if finally noticing that Akiyama Kiku was, indeed, alone.

"Ah, yeah, Akiyama is always on her own."

"Why is that?" Oikawa asked with a smile.

"Tch…"

Curious by her reaction, both young men glanced at her as she explained, looking a little annoyed:

"She's just here, y'know. We don't really want of her, but she doesn't seem to get the message and stays on the team."

Iwaizumi's eyes widened and he took a step forward, about to throw a few well-earned insults to the third-year who didn't seem to notice his reaction – but Oikawa stopped his friend with his arm and spoke up instead:

"That's a really mean thing to say… If she's on the club, there must be something she likes about cheer leading, right?"

"I suppose, yeah, but she's just so weird. Firstly, she's not fit, she ruins the image of the team but because she's kinda good, coach insists she needs to participate – and I'm sure it's just some pulled strings from Irihata – he's her uncle, y'know?"

"So I've heard…" Iwaizumi grumbled, the girl not noticing his growing annoyance.

"Akiyama isn't _that_ good that we absolutely need her, but well. And then, there's what happened in our first-year…"

"What happened?" Oikawa asked, tilting his head on a side.

The Captain pouted and looked once again at Kiku who was trying hard not to be noticed by anyone, looking down at her feet and keeping a neutral expression on her face. But some loneliness slipped through.

"She was just so clingy and annoying, things didn't go well for the first Golden Week training. She was _constantly_ around us, trying to force a conversation and be friendly but she would _always_ skip away from time to time – and one day, we saw why: she is _covered_ in scars!"

Hajime's eyes widened, his heart missing a beat as Oikawa threw him a worried look. The cheerleading Captain didn't seem to notice and continued with a shiver running down her spine:

"The poor girl is _hideous!_ Nature wasn't kind to her, but to the point of scarring oneself… it's just creepy! Akiyama freaked out and tried to explain to us, but, we were scared, y'know. If she was willing to hurt herself _that_ much – what would she do to _us?_ She called her parents who came to get her in the middle of the Golden Week practice – can you believe that? We thought she'd leave the team but she _stayed_ and remained all this time! After that, she never tried to be friendly to any of us so… she's just kinda here now." She explained quickly, wanting to talk with Oikawa alone more than talk about this girl.

Oikawa seemed thoughtful but before he could add anything, Hajime intervened:

"Did any of you try to befriend _her?"_ He asked, sounding dangerous.

The cheerleading Captain startled and paled a little at the tone of his voice but she swallowed because she couldn't find any answer to that without admitting that she had never tried to go towards Kiku.

The sudden raise of voice had attracted a few people's attention and everyone stared at their Captain apparently arguing with Iwaizumi Hajime – especially Kiku who hadn't heard anything but could see from afar the burning anger in Hajime's eyes.

Then, Hajime whipped around and walked away, Oikawa glancing between the cheer leading Captain, Kiku and his friend.

"I-Iwa-chan! Wait!" He exclaimed, running after him after a very quick goodbye to the cheerleading club.

"It pisses me off!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, fists clenched tightly as they exited the gymnasium.

Oikawa pouted, understanding what he meant but the Ace continued, a dangerous and fiery aura emanating from him:

"Everyone judges Kiku without trying to get to know her! She's spent _three years_ with these selfish snobs who think they're better than anyone! She's been all alone all this time and doesn't even know what a team is like! It's so unfair! And…! And!" He hissed.

Iwaizumi slowed down, his angry frown turning into a hurt one. He gritted his teeth and Tooru blinked at his reaction.

"…And what did she mean… _covered in scars…?_ What happened to Kiku?" He muttered in a low voice, "Why isn't she telling me anything?"

Tooru wasn't sure what to answer to that… he could comfort his friend, but they both knew that his anger was justified and that the one needing comfort was Kiku… but she wasn't in the same gymnasium as them… Unless…

"Perhaps we could convince her to join the volleyball club as a manager?" Oikawa suggested as they reached their gymnasium.

Iwaizumi froze, a foot on a step, before turning around quickly. He seemed to think about it for a moment before frowning and pouting:

"If Kiku stayed for three years on the cheerleading club despite these idiots rejecting her, there must be a reason…"

"She must really like cheerleading… which doesn't make sense considering she's very shy." Oikawa continued, "But it couldn't hurt asking her anyway? She's making our meals already."

"Helping out Mizoguchi to make us dinner isn't the same thing as being a full-time manager!" Iwaizumi answered.

Oikawa rubbed the back of his neck but before he could add anything else, Hanamaki called for them from one of the many halls in the volleyball club's gymnasium:

"Ah, there you are, you two! We were looking for you!"

Iwaizumi glanced quickly at his friend before shaking his head without adding anything else and retreating, still pissed off, in the gymnasium's restrooms before break was over. Hanamaki glanced at him then back at a sighing Oikawa:

"Did something happen?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"An unfortunate and confusing insight _is_ what happened…" Oikawa answered with a shrug.

"With this answer _I_ need an insight because I don't get it," he answered without even blinking.

"I'll tell you about it tonight, let's go back before Mizoguchi goes on a wild hunt!" Oikawa decided.

* * *

 _I had mentioned the song "Rockbell" from Chico and the Honeyworks fitting Kiku and Kijime; but I found two other songs: "Stand by You" by Rachel Platten and "Strong" by Sonna Rele (I prefer the piano version)~! :3_

 _We now know moe about Kiku, and from now on, the mystery will be increased at every answer we obtain~!_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : FROM RUCKUS TO MAYHEM_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	18. From Ruckus to Mayhem

_Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Your scar seems to have been painful! Not the scar itself, but the injury! " The truth bout Kiku's scars will be revealed later!_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Hajime with animals, and especialy baby animals, is a blessed sight. Kiku can make Hajime turn so quickly from one behavior to another! XD I think it's safe to say that everyone wants to protect Kiku - especially Hajime._

 _ **AmericanNidiot** : Kiku's loneliness, and how she dealt with it and will move on from it, will be mentioned in the following chapters. :)_

 _ **Houshikun001** : We'll learn little by little about Kiku's secrets, but I want Hajime to be really, really attached and in love with her before that! :) He IS a knight inshining armor, after all! ;D He's King Oikawa's General! :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Che è successo a Kiku era spiegato dopo! L'accidento che hai detto, per Kiku è un po simile. Come reagirà Hanamaki ai cicatrici, hai un po in quello capitolo, e un po più dopo quando la verità sarà sapeta._

 _ **.** : The problem with the world is that they assume and think wrongly instead of asking questions and geting to know people - that's one of the thing I want to talk about in this fanfic. I hope I'm handlinlg it well enough... AN hint on where Kiku's tattoo is... not anywhere that can be seen on her arms or legs. ;)_

 _ **Florence** : All of my stories have happy endings! Theoritically... ;)_

 _ **Reader fan** : I want Hajime, and everyone, to know the truth abut Kiku but... I want him to be head over heels for her, truly and deeply in love at this moment... I can't tell WHEN exactly I'll write about it, but let's just say... the moment there'll be Kiku and Hajime and a lizard, the moment of truth will be near. ;)_

 _ **onigiriri** : I'm so glad you like it! I hope that Sowlmate is still satisfying and that what will happen in Quiet Voice won't disappoint you! :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XVIII : From Ruckus to Mayhem

" _Real loneliness is not necessarily limited to when you are alone."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _People don't always need advice. Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen and a heart to understand them."_

— **Anonymous**

" _... You don't have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future."_

― **Jane Green, Bookends**

" _There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares."_

― **Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, & Grumblings for Every Day of the Year**

" _Plan. Yes. Good idea. I should come up with a plan."_

― **Steven Brust, Dzur**

The third-years were gathered in a circle while the second and first-years were playing cards in another corner of the classroom they were sleeping in. Oikawa was telling Hanamaki and Matsukawa about everything he and Iwaizumi had learned about Kiku after their little visit to the cheerleading team. Iwaizumi wasn't piping up, leaning against a wall and looking grumpy.

"That's why I think we should ask Kiku-chan to join as a manager~" Oikawa concluded with a firm nod of his head.

"Even if you say that, why would she? We're on our third-year already, the year has started, and even if she's had all that stuff, she must be happy to be with the cheering team. Otherwise, she would have left." Mattsun said.

"I thought you wanted a manager?"

"A pretty one I could bang, but she's taken already by our Ace," He corrected with a serious expression.

Oikawa rolled his eyes but then, Iwaizumi finally spoke up:

"More importantly – Kiku apparently has scars on her body and I want to know what happened to her to push her to such acts." He said.

"Ah, that's bullshit, she _doesn't_ have any scar!" Makki exclaimed.

All three turned to him curiously and he shrugged:

"The Captain must have invented this, because Kiku doesn't have scars. And come on, she's too innocent and happy-go-lucky to even consider it an option – she probably freaks out if she sees a drop of blood. _Why_ would she do that?"

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't freak out when she sees blood," Matsukawa intervened, "Considering that girls see more blood than boys."

"Yeah, but Kiku wouldn't cut herself! It's the most ridiculous thing I've heard! Also – you checked, didn't you, Iwaizumi? You didn't see anything, right?" Hanamaki continued, leaning towards Ace.

Iwaizumi flushed in embarrassment, thinking back on what had happened not long ago when they had entered the cafeteria, the others snickering when they thought back on it as well.

 _Flashback, just before dinner…_

 _The moment Hajime saw Kiku, talking with Watari and Kindaichi, the Ace walked straight towards the tiny group, leaving his friends behind._

" _Ah! Iwaizumi-san! Good eve–"_

 _Kiku's voice trailed off when Hajime leaned over the counter and grabbed her wrists. Everyone present in the cafeteria gasped – Kiku most of all, blushing terribly – and Kindaichi started elbowing the libero who was shock frozen._

 _Hajime frowned lightly, pushing off her sleeves and turning around her forearms… There were some scratches, probably from an animal – did she have a pet…? But there was no scar. Not the scars he had expected…_

 _A part of him was relieved for that… but another_ _was_ _worried because he had no idea what the cheerleading team's Captain had meant by "_ covered in scars" _and it freaked him out. What sort of scars? Where?_

" _U-um… I-Iwaizumi… san?"_

 _Kiku's tiny voice seemed to resonate in the cafeteria, everyone holding their breaths as Hajime froze and realized that he had acted purely on instincts and that he had acted strangely, probably a little creepily. Blushing, he let go of her arms and stepped away, looking at the ceiling, the floor – anything BUT Kiku's confused (and so darn_ adorable! _) expression:_

" _S-sorry! I-I was j-just! U-umm!"_

 _Mouth dry and not knowing how he could explain that he had just checked if she had scars on her forearms because of what her team Captain had said previously… Hajime glanced around until his gaze landed on Oikawa. Noticing the 'HELP' flag waving in total panic, Oikawa jumped in and with a charming smile, took a hold of Kiku's hands as well._

" _My~! Iwa-chan~! You were right~! I had never noticed that you had such pretty nails, Kiku-chan~!" Oikawa exclaimed._

 _The others seemed curious as well – Kindaichi, Watari and Makki leaned forward and noticed Kiku's nails, painted a beautiful shade of light blue. Iwaizumi sighed in relief because if he had never noticed Kiku's nails, Oikawa's intervention made it seem as if he had just wanted to check her hands and nails. A little out of character for him, but at least he was saved from any embarrassing explanations…_

" _Oh! It's true! It's the same color as our jersey!" Kindaichi exclaimed._

" _Not really, our jersey is greener than that, isn't it?" Watari added._

 _Kiku, and basically everyone, ignored their discussion on whether their jersey was blue, or green, or in the middle. The girl stared at a smiling Oikawa then pulled her hands away from him suddenly. Tooru blinked, surprised by the sharp reaction. She threw him an uncomfortable and suspicious gaze, he swallowed hard but then, she glanced at Iwaizumi. Panic flashed in her eyes then she turned away and went back to cooking. No one else but Tooru seemed to notice this reaction but he remained silent, not wanting to add more fuel to the fire. Iwa-chan and Kiku-chan were both panicked enough as it was._

Oikawa turned his attention back on Hanamaki:

"What makes you think Kiku-chan doesn't have any scar, Makki?"

"I'd know it otherwise," he said with a shrug.

"At this point, I'd say that you've been _discovering_ new things about your neighbor instead of being a _reliable_ source of information. What makes you think you know her that well?" Mattsun asked, "Unlike the cheerleaders girls, it's not like you've seen her whole body or anything so, you can't know for sure…"

Hanamaki closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Oikawa and Mattsun both blinked, silly grins appearing on their faces while Iwaizumi was suddenly very much attentive of the conversation.

"Don't tell me…" Matsukawa started.

"You haven't seen Kiku-chan's body, have you, Makki?" Oikawa asked, faking a shocked voice.

Iwaizumi glanced between Oikawa and Hanamaki, slightly panicked. He straightened up, eyes wide and staring at Hanamaki with a confused, slightly threatening gaze:

" _Well_ …" Hanamaki started with a nonchalant expression on his face.

"What? What do you mean? What is that supposed to mean?" Iwaizumi asked, leaning towards his friend with his hands ready to strangle him depending on the level of perversion of the next words escaping his lips.

"I wanted to keep it for later use, damn it," Makki muttered while pulling out his phone from his pocket.

"Use _what_ exactly?!" Hajime hissed.

Takahiro explored his phone a short moment before showing the three others a video, it had been taken from his bedroom which had a window facing directly… Kiku's bedroom's window. The girl's curtains weren't pulled, probably thinking her nosy neighbor wasn't here.

Oikawa, Matsukawa and mostly, a wide-eyed, panicked Iwaizumi, saw Kiku taking off her tshirt, then her pants and–

"O-OI! OI! STOP IT!" Iwaizumi shouted, jumping on Makki's phone.

Hanamaki pulled the phone out of his reach but Hajime was too determined to get the phone – not to see the video, _obviously_ , simply to make sure his _other friends_ wouldn't see it. He got the device, cheeks a deep red, the entire room turned to stare at the third-years.

"Oh my…" Oikawa started.

"I want to keep watching, give me the phone, Iwaizumi," Mattsun requested, holding out his hand.

"LIKE HELL I'LL GIVE IT TO ANY OF YOU!" Iwaizumi shouted with a demon look, "And _you!"_ He continued, whipping towards a very calm Hanamaki, "What were you THINKING?! Recording Kiku while she's taking off her clothes! Have you no shame?! She was innocent and didn't know you were! You _were!"_

"Calm down, she should have pulled her curtains close. I didn't get off from seeing her naked anyway…" Makki answered.

"That's not the problem here! AND DON'T SAY SUCH STUFF! I know what sort of pervert you are so don't give me that crap! DON'T do that again! Respect her privacy!" Iwaizumi shouted.

"And I wanted to send you all the videos so you could enjoy them, Iwaizumi~" Hanamaki continued with a sly grin.

Iwaizumi gasped, taking a step backwards and covering his mouth with the back of his hand. It ended up with the phone being dropped, thankfully on a futon, but the Ace was too busy trying to keep down his crazy heartbeat to notice that _firstly_ , the phone wasn't in his hand anymore, and _secondly_ , Mattsun and Oikawa had already taken it away from him.

"W-wha- whu! D-don! Y-you! Y… you have more?! How many _exactly?!"_ Iwaizumi screamed, voice going a little high-pitched from shock (and embarrassment).

"On my phone or computer?" Hanamaki asked calmly, raising an eyebrow.

Hajime made a strangling sound, wanting to keep Kiku's virtue safe and sound and away from this pervert of Hanamaki.

"Look at the size of these boobs! Iwaizumi, you're one lucky bastard!" Mattsun exclaimed.

Iwaizumi startled and looked over his shoulder – not only Oikawa and Matsukawa were watching more videos (apparently with even less clothes than what _he_ had seen) but most of the team had gathered curiously as well. Yahaba only blinked, Watari and Kindaichi blushed and quickly looked away, Kunimi only raised an eyebrow…

"O-OI!" Iwaizumi shouted, running to his friends.

Matsukawa kept the phone out of his reach and threw it to Hanamaki who caught it with ease. Iwaizumi spun around and tried to get the phone but they passed it back and forth in between the different players while Iwaizumi was a blushing mess, screaming insults and trying desperately to get the phone.

"A-ah!" Kindaichi screamed when he was the one receiving it (by accident).

Unlike the third-years who had been laughing and teasing Iwaizumi, Kindaichi blushed and looked up, keeping the images on the phone away from his gaze – but he had still caught a little bit of it.

"KINDAICHI!" Iwaizumi shouted.

"I-I didn't look!" He exclaimed, giving the phone to the Ace.

"Aaaw! You're no fun, Kindaichi!" Hanamaki whined, "Oi, give my phone back," he asked, trying to get back the phone from Iwaizumi's hands.

"Not until I've erased all of the videos and pictures you've taken of Kiku!"

"Don't take my blackmail and fun away!"

They battled for the phone, screaming insults, Hanamaki climbing over Iwaizumi's back and trying to reach his phone while Mattsun was recording the whole thing at another side of the room.

"OI! ENOUGH! WE HEAR YOU IN THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD!"

Everyone startled and froze, the laughs dying out when Mizoguchi suddenly appeared, slamming open the door and shouting louder than all of them combined.

"I'M TAKING ALL PHONES! GO TO BED NOW!" He shouted, grabbing a plastic bag and taking the phones he saw while everyone whined.

"We won't be able to wake up without our phones tomorrow morning!" Someone said.

" _I'll_ be the one to wake you up!" Mizoguchi shouted, earning more whining, "If I hear of a SINGLE phone hidden during the night, you won't get the phones back until the end of the Golden Week! Understood?!"

Reluctantly, everyone gave their phones to Mizoguchi, some even dared glaring at Hanamaki for starting it all from the beginning – Kunimi was particularly pissed off to not have his phone anymore. But the third-year ignored them and made sure that Mizoguchi's eyes would catch his phone screen before giving him. The coach seemed even more annoyed to know that this ruckus had been caused because of naked girls (he hadn't recognized Kiku.).

"So, all that to prove my point: she doesn't have any scar." Hanamaki concluded while they were all putting some order in their futons for the night (they had three minutes given to them by Mizoguchi but then, all lights out).

"We didn't exactly see in details, considering someone panicked and started screaming," Matsukawa answered, giving a long look at Iwaizumi who blushed once again.

"OI! I think you saw more than enough details!"

"Not enough."

"All right, all right~!" Oikawa exclaimed to calm down everyone (it failed), "Let's not continue, okay~? We shouldn't have looked at Kiku-chan's videos, and Makki shouldn't have recorded these videos at all, and Iwa-chan shouldn't have overreacted to the point where Mizoguchi came in here~!"

Before anyone could answer – Iwaizumi had a few more things to say – Mizoguchi came in one last time and everyone jumped into their futons frantically. Two seconds later, the coach turned off all lights, warned them one last time, then his footsteps echoed as he walked away. Some snickered under their covers but quickly, some snores started resonating and everyone fell asleep, exhausted by practice and emotions.

 _The next day, at the cheerleading club practice…_

"Aw~! It's Oikawa-senpai!" A second-year exclaimed with a happy squeak.

At once every girls, and some boys, turned around to see the Captain of the volleyball team waving at them from the entrance.

"Yoohoo~! How is everyone?" He asked, glancing over at a thunderstruck Kiku.

She was more than confused to have received the visit of both Oikawa and Iwaizumi the previous day – but it was even more confusing to see him again here, and without his best friend.

Oikawa approached the cheerleading club's Captain, apparently discussing about some papers to fill, both being Captains. Miyano-san (the cheerleading Captain) called for a break and everyone went away.

"Oi, Akiyama!" A third-year boy called, "Go get us some drinks!"

Oikawa over-heard this and glanced over his shoulder curiously.

Akiyama half-stared and half-glared at the third-year who raised an eyebrow. She sighed then walked away to get her teammates drinks.

"Is this all you came here for?" Miyano asked Oikawa, raising a curious eyebrow when she noticed the stare after Kiku.

"Are you aware that Kiku-chan isn't a manager or your servant? Why don't you treat her correctly? Forget treating her like a teammate – treating her like a human being would be a good start, don't you think?" He answered with an overly sweet smile.

Miyano startled and pouted. She glanced at Kiku who was sitting in a corner and staring at her feet then at her other teammates and shrugged, but she looked uncomfortable.

"It's how it's always been."

"Why Kiku-chan lets herself be treated in such a way?" He asked, tilting his head on a side.

Frowning and now annoyed that the volleyball Captain – as charming as he was – was bothering her team, and also she had to admit that she was a little jealous that Kiku of all people was receiving such a treatment from the King of Aoba Jousai… Miyano couldn't help but glare lightly at Oikawa who didn't even react at her gaze:

"I don't know! Go ask her if you're so interested, Oikawa-san! Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to take my break!" She exclaimed, walking away from him.

He stared at her going away then approached the team, some girls fawned over him and after some niceties, he managed to reach Kiku.

She glanced up at him without a word, her eyes showing that she was deeply thinking about all the possible reasons why he'd come here – for the second day in a row.

"Iwaizumi-san isn't here to keep you in check?" She asked with a tiny voice.

Surprised by her question, Oikawa chuckled, putting his hands on his hips. Both ignored the way everyone on the cheerleading team (and the basket ball team on the other side, sending curious glances as well) was staring at them, a little bitterly to see their favorite man, giving attention to a girl like _Akiyama Kiku_.

"Iwa-chan doesn't know I'm here! Sorry you can't see your Iwa-chan for the moment!"

Kiku startled and glanced away, blushing at his words.

"H-he's n-not…" She mumbled but her voice trailed off.

"May I?" Oikawa asked, pointing at the seat next to her.

She nodded and he sat, ignoring the way she scouted away to keep her space safe.

"Kiku-chan, may I ask you a question?" He asked with his constant smile.

She only stared at him and he took that as a 'yes':

"Are you aware that the cheerleading club doesn't consider you one of their teammates?"

His voice was nice, his intentions were good, but his words were harsh. Kiku didn't react, but her heart clenched painfully. She swallowed discreetly before answering his question:

"You're wrong. I'm on the club, since my first-year… it's just… it's how we work. We help each other out with the drinks, the towels… everything. I'm sure they wouldn't… they'd be bothered if I weren't here… I'm having a lot of fun…"

Oikawa's smile didn't waver, but when he looked at her, she held her breath. He looked… not saddened, but he was pitying her. And she hated this gaze.

"Are you sure they would help you out if you needed? Would they care if you'd be gone from the team? Are you sure you're having fun when they treat you like that? You _do_ know that they're treating you badly?"

"…T-they treat me as best as they can…" She answered, glancing down at her hands on her thighs.

Tooru pouted, understanding that Kiku was very well aware of the way she was being treated. She just ignored it, because as terrible as it sounded, she was used to it. She had always been treated like that, she didn't seem to be pained by it anymore. But if Tooru couldn't see through her masks the way Iwa-chan did, he could catch a glimpse of her loneliness. He knew what it was like, wearing masks, and he knew how hard it was to fake cheerfulness.

"Why don't you leave this club? Why don't you join us as a manager?" He asked suddenly.

Shocked by this sudden proposition, Kiku turned wide eyes towards him, lips falling open.

"You're having more fun with us than with them, don't you, Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked with his enthusiastic smile.

Hesitation appeared in her eyes but then, she shook her head no.

"I-I can't… I…"

"We're going back to it!" Miyano exclaimed, cutting Kiku's stammer.

Everyone got up and approached the center of their part of the gymnasium. Oikawa pouted because he had wanted to convince Kiku to join the team. But as surprising as it was, Kiku didn't move right away. She remained sitting by his side. No one even glanced at her – it was as if they were shutting her out, along with Oikawa (for once). They preferred ignoring the King of Aoba Jousai than acknowledging his friendship with Akiyama.

"You have to go back to it, but just think about it, will you? Mizoguchi and your uncle would probably be relieved to have someone helping out, everyone would be overjoyed and Iwa-chan…"

His voice didn't finish his sentence but when Kiku glanced at him, he smiled before standing up.

"Go tell your teammates you hurt your ankle, and see how they'll react. Even though, I'm pretty sure you already know how they'll react…" He said, sounding a little sad.

Kiku stared up at him, lip trembling but then, he showed her hand. For a moment, she was frozen shocked, wondering when was the last time someone had showed her a hand to help her up… _if_ someone had ever done such a thing…

She swallowed the lump in her throat, taking shyly his hand as he helped her up with a smile. If Oikawa had caught sight of the tears in her eyes, he didn't mention it. He left soon after, getting scolded by Iwaizumi for being late as they had already started practice. Of course, Oikawa laughed it off, not mentioning where he had been.

When the end of practice was off, most of the volleyball club's players remained behind for more free practice. Mizoguchi left but Irihata remained as well to keep an eye on his players, correcting them on a few mistakes here and there. Unlike during official practice where he focused on the regular players, during free practice he focused on the first and second years.

No one was really surprised when they started noticing Kiku sitting on the coach's bench, wearing her sports jersey from the cheerleading club. She waved shyly from afar at the few who greeted her with smiles before they went back to their practice. Then, she focused at staring at the regulars who were playing a three-on-three – Iwaizumi barking at Oikawa before giving gentle advices to Kindaichi. Makki and Mattsun were being complete fools, as per usual, while Oikawa was laughing.

She stared at them and felt a strange sensation in her heart. It warmed up from the light-hearted and welcoming atmosphere of these dorks, but her heart also clenched because… it was so different from her team. She was always here without being noticed, like a ghost haunting their steps. She knew that most of the time they were whispering in her back, thinking she was too foolish to understand what they were talking about. They ordered her around and if they could get rid of her, they would. She was a pain. It had been even worse today, after Oikawa's visit. Not only his words haunted her, but everyone glared at her bitterly or ignored her totally – they hated that _Oikawa Tooru_ , King of Aoba Jousai and Prince Charming of every girl in the high-school, had paid her, pitiful, shy, awkward _Akiyama Kiku_ , the slightest bit of attention.

"Akiyama-senpai!"

She looked up and saw Kindaichi and Kunimi, walking away with their knee-pads in their hands.

"I hadn't noticed you! You had a good practice?" Kindaichi asked with a kind, enthusiastic smile.

Kunimi greeted her with a quiet nod and she stared at them with wide eyes. There was this warmth in her heart again.

"Akiyama-senpai?"

Kiku startled and blushed in embarrassment, realizing she had been awkwardly silent. She chuckled then smiled – she couldn't tell if it was convincing or just weird, because she, herself, couldn't tell if she was happy or sad at the moment:

"I-it was! Thank you! You?"

Kindaichi perked up instantly:

"Iwaizumi-san gave me advices! It worked out so well during the three-on-three! I can't wait to try it tomorrow at the official practice!"

"I… I'm glad then…" She answered, blinking at the awe everyone felt towards her Iwaizumi.

"Let's go, I'm tired and I want my phone back." Kunimi said before glancing at Kiku, "Thank you in advance for taking the time to prepare our dinner, Akiyama-senpai." He added.

Kindaichi waved at her as they walked away and she smiled to herself. The kouhais were cute and attaching. They were enjoying themselves so much. They were thanking her for something as normal and simply as preparing dinner…

"Ki– Akiyama-san!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, running to her.

She glanced up and her heart immediately went frantic, she couldn't keep down her huge grin, cheeks turning a bright, joyful red. He smiled at her and she swore she had never felt more blessed in her life than in this moment.

"I-Iwaizumi-san…"

"You're okay? You've been here for a while? I hadn't noticed you, sorry…"

"I-it's okay, y-you were focused on your match…" She answered.

 _Hush, hush, little heart. I can't hear what he says if you're beating so hard!_ She thought to herself, standing up and leaning forward just enough to pretend it helped her hear him better. The truth was, she caught his scent – sweat covering something close to… was it pine? Forest? A musky scent that reminded her of something incredibly peaceful.

"I was mostly focused on keeping Oikawa's stupidity at bay…" He grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

It made Kiku chuckle, and he couldn't help but smile at the sound – he didn't even realize he was smiling until she glanced at him and he held his breathe.

"What is it I have heard about Kunimi-kun's phone being taken away?" She asked curiously, tilting her head on a side.

"Ah, uh…" He continued, flushing and scratching his cheek awkwardly, avoiding her gaze, "We all had our phones taken, we… uh, sort of made a ruckus last night so Mizoguchi confiscated them…" He explained sheepishly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Ah ah! It must have been quite something!" She exclaimed.

 _You have no idea_ … He thought to himself, trying not to think on the fact that Hanamaki had videos and pictures of her naked – how could he do that when she was so innocent and adorable, seriously?

"Iwaizumi! Can you help us gather the carts inside the storage room instead of flirt– ah, I mean, _chitchatting_ with Akiyama?" Hanamaki called (loudly) from the other side of the gymnasium.

Iwaizumi ignored the way his ears warmed up as he trotted to volley balls and started putting them in a nearby cart. He didn't have to look in Hanamaki's direction to see his smirk – and the snickering of Matsukawa and Oikawa were explicit enough to understand that Hanamaki's _slip of tongue_ had been all BUT accidental.

He sighed annoyingly, throwing a ball inside the cart with a little bit too much strength. It rolled away but it was stopped by Kiku with a foot on it and smiled up at Hajime, as she put two balls into it as well.

"Y-you don't have to help… we can handle it…" Iwaizumi mumbled, but a grin was appearing on his face once again just to have Kiku at his side a little longer.

"It's fine, I like helping out. Plus…"

She blushed and glanced down. Hajime thought she wouldn't add anything when she bent down to retrieve another ball.

"I get to spend a little more time with you…" She breathed.

He turned to her, eyes slightly widened, not sure he had heard her well. But just as quickly as Kiku had bent down, she was advancing towards another ball, as if nothing had happened. Feeling like he was just hearing his wishes, Hajime decided to ignore it and continue retrieving the balls, continuing their conversation easily. On their way to the storage room, Kiku grabbed another cart and both pushed the balls-filled carts through the gymnasium, conversing quietly with more smiles than the volleyball team had ever seen on both of their faces:

"And that's why this reboot is the best compared to the American one! It gave a new breathe to the movie and Godzilla, but while keeping the Japanese, original meaning and atmosphere, y'know?" Hajime said enthusiastically, eyes gleaming excitedly to talk about his favorite movie franchise – and be _listened_ nonetheless.

"I see…" Kiku answered, blinking as she listened carefully to his passionate explanations.

"And here he goes…" Oikawa sighed as the two walked by, his hands on his hips, "He's going to make her run away if he keeps talking about Godzilla…"

"You're no better when you start on the aliens," Mattsun commented with a raised eyebrow.

"HEY! They _exist_ – they're _here!"_ He hissed with wide eyes – Iwa-chan could _not_ tell the same thing about his _dear Godzilla!_

Iwaizumi and Akiyama pushed the volleyball carts in the storage room, followed discreetly by Oikawa just as Hanamaki exited said-room. The two disappeared in the mid-darkness to organize the carts, Hanamaki and Matsukawa staring curiously at Oikawa as he made them a sign to remain silent. Too busy talking about the Godzilla franchise, neither Hajime nor Kiku noticed Tooru sticking his tongue out as he carefully pushed away the box filled with knee pads that was holding the door open. Then, he pulled it close.

Kiku and Hajime both startled when the door slammed behind them.

"Tch, this door never stays open…" He muttered to himself as they walked back to it.

"And it locks itself on its own when it closes, uncle Nobuhiko always complains about it because the school doesn't fix it," Kiku answered, just behind him.

Iwaizumi started pulling at the door but as expected, the stupid door had closed and locked. He tried to force before hitting the metal door.

"Oikawa! Guys! It closed again! Open up!" He exclaimed.

He waited a moment but no one opened it.

"M-maybe they went ahead and didn't hear…?" Kiku hesitated, glancing up at him.

Hajime slowly clenched his fists and jaw, he breathed out to calm himself and closed his eyes. They had not gone ahead. These bastards had closed the door _on purpose_ , knowing it could only be opened from the outside.

"OI!" He shouted, suddenly punching the door.

Kiku almost jumped out of her skin as Iwaizumi started shouting through the door, punching and hitting it until his hands turned red. He was furious that they'd lock him _alone with Kiku in the storage room_ – but he wasn't even surprised!

"It's not funny anymore! Open this damn door, Trashykawa! OPEN IT!" He shouted.

On the other side, Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa were covering their mouths with their hands, biting hard on their tongues to not start laughing.

"I-it's so childish to do that, Oikawa!" Hanamaki exclaimed.

"Y-you're saying that, b-but you're laughing as well!" The setter answered, smothering a chuckle.

Iwaizumi's screams and hits finally quieted down.

"Well, let's come back in a few minutes – once we'll have found a good excuse to explain the sudden closed door." Oikawa decided.

"Let's hope this silly plan of yours will work…" Mattsun sighed.

The three third-years calmly exited the gymnasium, deciding to go take their showers while they kept prisoner Iwaizumi and Akiyama together.

* * *

 _I KNOW. It's cliché. But totally an Oikawa-ish action._

 _MESSAGES: I'm drawing again (a bit) and I might post some fanarts of my OCs (Like Ayaka, Kiku etc.) on my tumblr someday. If you guys are interested, I might even do some drawings of scenes of the OC with their boys. Also, I don't remember if I have said it 'officially' in Sowlmate for hte ones who read Sowlmate you know Akaashi, and Ami, and I was asked for a special for them. I've had the idea of a one-shot but it depends if you want it._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : CONVERSATIONS IN THE DARK_

 _Preview: " "_ _I don't blame you, Oikawa." He murmured. " (OoOooOOOoooh! What happened?! What did Oikawa do?!)_

 _Thank youf or your support! :D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	19. Conversations in the Dark

_So many follows, favorites and reviews I cannot believe this! Thank you so much, everyone! :D_

 _Ahah, funny thing: the other day, there was Godzilla on TV, when I heard it I turned around and screamed "IWAAA CHAAAN!" I should probably worry about my obssession with Haikyuu boys at this point._

 _ **LuxKlara** : si saprà per le cicatrici quando la storia di Kiku sarà revelata! :) Hanamaki ha foto e video di Kiku mezza nuda/nuda ma ci sono 4metri, due finestre, qualche volta il sipario di Kiku... E cerca a non si fare prendere filmando Kiku quando è nuda! Non ci sono video diuna bellissima qualità. Non viista le video per trovare le cicatrici/il tatoo (no sa che Kiku ha dun tattoo) e anche Makki non vista le video ogni giorno, non è interessante in Kiku. No vedi quale che non vuoi vedere. Per l'accidente del gruppo che vede le video di Kiku, c'era un po di curiosità ma sopratutto, vogliano annoiare Hajime! :) Già sai ceh Kiku accetta la proposizione di Oikawa grazie a Sowlmate e il InterHigh. Per sapere si il piano di Oikawa finita in tragedia... leggi questo capitolo? XD_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Oikawa is a manipulative little shit but that's why I love him - he pretends to be an idiot or an happy-go-lucky guy doubled with a flirt, but he's actually one fo theh most clever, deeper and motivational character of Haikyuu. He twists people's beliefs about him so that they underestimate him and treat him the way HE wants - but that's his manipulative and raw side that I love about him._

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Still a few more chapters before finding out the truth about Kiku! ;) To know what happens ~~ read! :D I really want to draw some art for my OCs and their boys, but drawing isn't my priority so if there is any art, I need to be reminded of it - here or via tumblr which are the best two ways to contact me. :)_

 _ **Houshikun001** : Iwaizumi is going to need a HUGE push to confess to Kiku. If the poorr boy was trying he'd end up biting off his tongue and collapsing from a heart stroke and sudden fever... I'm glad you like the quotes and I hope it'll remain the same for more chapters! :D_

 _ **Tamani** : Aaaw~ Why think negatively? Ah ah~ But I have a tendency of turning everything into angst and drama so...~_

 _ **LilyDaph** : Hey! :D Merci pour ton soutien et ta review! Ca me touche de savoir que tu lis mes fanfics! :D Tout ce que tu as dit sur mes histoires m'a donné les larmes aux yeux, merci mille fois pour tes mots! Je ne saurai comment exprimer ma joie! :D Kiku est plus "normale" que Ayaka, dans le sens où son histoire est une histoire que l'on connait toutes - aimer un garçon en secret, être timide, manquer de confiance en soi, se faire intimidé par les autres... C'est, malheureusement, commun dans notre société et l'une des choses que je veux montrer dans cette histoire - la positivité et la confiance en soi donnent des ailes! :) C'est vrai que Makki qui filme Kiku se déshabiller est un peu extrême mais il ne peut pas voir les détails (distance, les fenêtres, parfois les rideaux, etc.) et il fait ça surtout pour faire du chantage à Kiku, possiblement Hajime! XD Uuuuuh... je dois avouer que je ne connaissais pas les règles de double, triple, mahcin crossover... Pour moi un crossover c'est juste plusieurs hisoires qui se rencontrent! XD Mais uh, du coup, dans Sowlmate, dans les chapitres concernant l'IH (à Miyagi ET à Tokyo) un crossover entre les 3 fanfics existantes et les 2 futures... donc 5 histoires/personnages qui se croisent... Quadruple crossover? *confuse* Bref, oui, on va rencontrer très rapidement la dulcinée d'Oikawa + on reverra Akane. ;D AHAH Oui! J'habite en France, seuelment, le temps que je rentre de cours, me détende un peu, écris un peu, RELIS le chapitre que je dois poster, réponde à toutes les reviews... il se passe pas mal de temps! XD Désolée de publier à des heures impossibles, du coup! " (là, encore, en écrivant ce message il est minuit... je suis désolée...)_

 _ **Krisia** (considering that you insist on calling you that~) : Hanamaki can't see the details of Kiku's body because it's a video from a phone, not the best quality, there is some distance despite all, several factors...; and he never bothered to really look at Kiku taking off ehr clothes thinnking "ahah i'm gonna discover her secret tattoo" and it totally escaped Hajime's mind (and he wouldn't watch a video of Kiku taking off her clothes no matter what - he'd prefer the real deal *sbaf* anyway) Kiku WILL find out about te pictures and video collection - thanks to her knight in shining armor. What you said at the end of your review about Kiku convincing herself the way she's treated is "normal" will be mentioned as smoe of the reasons why she stayed, in next chapter! So I'm glad you said that because it means I wrote things fine! Ahah! XD_

 _ **Reader fan** : Never said it was his blackmail against Kiku - perhaps it is, perhaps not. There is a fanart I saw on tumblr of Kenma, Akaahsi and Kunimi, all htree being silent and stoic and on their phones and that's what inspired me to have Kunimi being very attached to his phone (I can imagine secretely being a star of the internet, like having blogs or stuff that LOTS of people follow but keeping his identtity from his friends - except maybe Kindaichi but then again, I imagine that Kindaichi knows the basic functions of his phone and doesn't need anything else) YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE LIZARD AHAH! :D (I knew it'd be confusing~)_

 _ **yAmericanNidiot** : I don't listen to KPop but I chekced the video... my~ are they sexy boys~ I had a bit of a hard time seeing Iwaizumi and Kuroo, and the others, but I kinda see them yeah! But my real-life Kuroo will always be Kondou Shouri. And Asuma Kousuke for Oikawa. And Allen Kohatsu for Iwaizumi. And KIMURA TATSUNARI FOR KAGEAMA (funny thing: I realized that Kageyama was a hottie when I first saw Kimura as him, I was like, hit by the light of gods and the truth was revealed to him and after watcihng the stage play AND KIMURA TATSUNARI I couldn't not unsee Kageyama's handsome features.) AND BASICALLY THE WHOLE CREW! Like, someone must have sold their soul to the devil t find TALENTED actors who LOOK like the character, have the same freaking HEIGHT as the character, a similar PERSONALITY to the character (I'm looking at you Asuma Kousuke. Stop being a real life Oikawa, it hurts me in the best way) AND HAVE A VOICE THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE SEIYUU LIKE DID YOU HEAR HOW MUCH KIMURA TATSUNARI SOUNDS LIKE ISHIKAWA KAITO OR HOW MUCH ASUMA KOUSUKE SOUNDS LIKE NAMIKAWA DAISUKE OR EVEN THAT SUGA KETNA SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE HINAT AND- I'm going to stop now or I am going to literally quote the entire cast... Also, I couldn't helo but imagine the sexy beasts (Iwaizumi, Kuroo, Oikawa, Bokuto...) dancing like the kpop boys. Also when you said "Iwa-chan is gonna slap you silly..." I culdn't help but see Oikawabent over Iwaizumi's knees while he's smacking his butt and I can't tell if I'm grossing myself out or if I really want to be Oikawa in this case? I'm so sorry I've gone a bit over the top there! XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XIX : Conversations in the Dark

" _Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."_

― **Mark Twain**

" _Somehow the silence seemed to connect us in a way like words never could."_

— **Flipped (2010), Dir. Rob Reiner**

" _I was starting to fall for him,_

 _He didn't say it but the way_

 _He looked at me,_

 _Told me he felt the same."_

― **Nikki Rowe**

" _The Glance of Love is Crystal Clear."_

― **Jalaluddin Rumi**

" _When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."_

― **Henri J.M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life**

" _I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light."_

― **Helen Keller**

In the storage room, after realizing not only no one was around, or at least _helping_ , Hajime and Kiku tried to find their phones… but they didn't have it on them – Hajime's was still with Mizoguchi, and Kiku's was in her bag.

"Let's just wait, someone will come looking for us eventually…" Kiku murmured shyly, glad the lack of light was hiding her blushed cheeks.

"Y-yeah… hoping Shittykawa doesn't give stupid excuses to coach…" Iwaizumi muttered to himself, feeling like punching something.

If Kiku heard his last comment, she didn't react to it. She didn't seem to have realized it was a trap from Oikawa and the others to get the two alone in a dark room. She went to sit on the pile of supplementary nets folded neatly. This way, she wasn't totally sitting on the hard floor and had a few dozens of centimeters of seating.

Hajime swallowed hard and felt his cheeks burn. He crossed his arms over his chest and remained near the door, trying not to think about the fact that the girl he liked was a few meters away. That they were all alone. In the dark. Without anyone around.

"D-damn it…" He muttered, glancing away.

"A-are you okay?" Kiku asked, just two meters behind him.

He startled, hoping the darkness helped his startle go unnoticed. With the total silence, she had heard his voice anyway.

"Y-yeah…" He answered, voice breaking a little, "Just don't like this situation…" He added.

Kiku didn't answer and he hoped she didn't think he didn't like being here with her. He was too angry against his friends to think of the golden opportunity that it was to spend alone-time with Kiku. But slowly, his anxiousness was getting to him and after tapping his foot on the floor for a while, he finally decided to go sit with Kiku who moved away to give him some room. Perhaps he'd calm down in her presence.

He was wrong. He wasn't fidgeting anymore, but it was mostly because he was frozen from nerves.

They could feel each other's body warmth even though, they were keeping some distance. Just a few centimeters, but enough to remind them that they were just friends trapped in a storage room.

Hajime moved around nervously, glancing quickly at Kiku. His hand brushed hers by accident and he immediately pulled away.

"S-sorry…" He murmured, making her look up at him.

"I-isn't there a light around?" Kiku asked shyly.

"No… the light button is outside…" He sighed.

Silence fell on them once again and he tried to control his breathing.

"Are you… um, scared of the dark?" She asked hesitantly.

Hajime startled at this sudden question, he glanced around nervously.

"U-um, n-no… I…"

But Kiku's hand suddenly took his and he gasped, air kicked out of his lungs in the most delicious way. His hand immediately started sweating like crazy – but nowhere near as crazy as his heartbeat.

"It's okay, Iwaizumi-san, I won't tell anyone that you're scared of the dark. We can hold hands if it reassures you?" She said softly, with a kind smile.

Hajime blushed terribly but he blessed the darkness. For hiding his red cheeks. And for giving him an opportunity of holding Kiku's hand.

"T-thanks…" He murmured.

Hajime silently cursed himself, not believing he was so desperate to hold Kiku's hand that he was willing to lie to her and pretend that he was scared of the dark. He wasn't scared of the dark in the slightest, but his fidgeting must have made Kiku believe so – he was just too nervous to be so close to her.

 _Urgh… Now she thinks I'm a baby scared of the dark… how stupid of me!_ He thought to himself.

Without realizing it, his nervous fidgeting stopped and he relaxed. He even squeezed Kiku's hand. She squeezed back, making his heart go into a good imitation of a drum once again. Her hand was small in his, barely covering his palm. But it fitted perfectly.

Kiku was trying her hardest to keep her heartbeat calm – it was beating steadily, but strongly. She wasn't sure if she was breathing anymore. She was _so_ aware of Hajime so close to her, she was going _mad_. The way his rough hand was holding hers, so gently, as if he was scared to hurt her. The way his thumb brushed the back of her hand tenderly – probably without realizing it, or he wouldn't be so calm about it. She could smell his sweat, the slightest bit of scent of forest behind it. She could hear his every move from the way his clothes brushed. She could hear his (slightly unsteady) breathing, the way his strong chest rose and fell, the way she could envision his lips opening and closing every once in a while.

Hajime turned his head towards her and she startled, blushing when she realized she had been caught staring. Even if they couldn't see much, a little bit of light was coming from under the door. And they could see a little, just a little, of the other. Enough to catch a glimpse every once in a while. They were trying to be discreet, but realized that the other was glancing as well, once. Twice. Three times in a row. They started glancing with the intention of catching the other's gaze and holding it. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Sometimes four wild seconds until their hearts reminded them that they were losing their minds.

The silence was comfortable, they didn't need a conversation to feel at ease with each other. But Kiku glanced at Hajime and couldn't help but speak up:

"Nee… Iwaizumi-san… Oikawa-san visited the cheerleading club today, during break."

"EH?! He did?! That's why he was late this–"

Hajime started grumbling words Kiku couldn't understand – probably insults and curses against his best friend. She wouldn't be surprised if wherever Oikawa was at the moment, he was suddenly hit by a sudden shiver.

"H-he asked me something and… and I wanted to know what you think of it…" She continued hesitantly.

Iwaizumi was about to bark _"Ignore him!"_ but thought twice about it when he noticed the forlorn look on Kiku's face. He sighed deeply and waited for her to continue speaking.

She took a deep breath to give herself some courage to continue and finish this conversation, and finally she spoke up:

"H-he proposed for me to join the v-volleyball club… as a manager… a-and… and I…"

" _What would you think if I were becoming the volleyball club's manager?"_ Was what she wanted to ask but she couldn't face Iwaizumi and ask him _that_. It felt too personal, he would understand that _his_ opinion was the one that mattered the most to her.

Hajime sighed deeply, barely surprised by the fact that his friend had decided to ask Kiku to join as a manager. What _he_ thought didn't seem to matter, Vice-Captain or not. He wondered how much of it Oikawa was doing for his sake and this obsession in making them a couple, Kiku and him. And how much was for the sake of the club. And how much for his _own_ sake. Oikawa wasn't selfish per say, but he _always_ had ulterior motives, whether it was for him or someone else.

"Why have you remained on the cheerleading club all these years when they don't even treat you like a teammate?" He asked, breaking the silence.

Kiku looked up at him, lips opened in surprise that he'd ask her such a question. She wasn't even surprised to hear these words from him – it seemed to be a silent agreement from everyone, despite her words, that Akiyama Kiku had _never been_ and _never will_ be part of the cheerleading club.

For once, she didn't have to ponder the question to give an answer:

"Because I like it." She simply answered.

Hajime turned to her, raising an eyebrow and silently asking her to elaborate:

"I like… cheerleading, I like cheering on people. You know this feeling when people are feeling down for a reason or another, but with a smile from a stranger, or their favorite movie, or a happy song… or a nice word from someone… it makes them feel better? And you feel better as well?" She started shyly.

Hajime thought of it a moment, before nodding. Most of the time, when he was helping out people, it was encouraging his teammates when they felt down during a tough match. Giving them encouragement was strengthening _him_.

"Yeah, I kinda know that feeling…" He answered.

"This is why I like cheerleading. This is why… I had joined the cheerleading club but…"

He glanced at her as her smile dropped and she looked down.

"But no matter how much I'd try… they didn't want of me because… because…"

"Because of what had happened in your first-year?" He finished.

Kiku's head snapped up, eyes widening, fear and panic flashing in them. Hajime quickly spoke up again:

"Your… uh, Captain, told us a few things but… I don't think she was in her right mind. She's just being selfish." He said, trying to convince himself.

Miyano _was_ selfish, along with her team. But Kiku's panic just now, everyone thinking she had a problem… once again, he wondered if some of it wasn't _true_ , after all. And why wasn't she opening up to him because even if he _knew_ a lot of things about her… some things that _no one_ else knew… she was still a mystery for him.

Kiku looked down, hiding her expression and her eyes filled with many emotions clashing together. Fear, panic, sadness, disappointment, bitterness… the feeling that what she had with Hajime might slip from her fingers, and just the idea of losing the best friend she ever had was enough to make her chest tighten painfully.

Realizing that Kiku was suddenly silent, looking away from him and holding her breath, Hajime swallowed hard before deciding to change the topic. He wanted to know the truth about Kiku. But he couldn't bear to see her so shaken up.

"About you joining as manager…" He hesitated.

She took a sharp intake of breath, glancing at him curiously, remembering that it had been the initial topic.

Hajime rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, glanced away quickly as his cheeks blushed before speaking up:

"It's not Oikawa, or the team, your uncle, or me… or anyone who should influence your choice. If you come… I want it to be _your_ choice… only if you're a hundred percent sure you'll be happy… cheering only for _us_ from the bench rather than… in a fucked up club that doesn't know what a team is supposed to be… _Your_ choice." He mumbled.

Kiku stared at him in awe, wondering when was the last time someone had given her a choice such as this. When did she decide something for herself? It seemed like so long ago… and it had been a mistake – joining the cheerleading club and stubbornly staying on it. Would she be good enough as a manager for the volleyball club? She couldn't deny that everyone was kind on the team, and she had had a lot of fun for the little moments she had spent with them. And… she would spend more time with Hajime as well…

She opened her lips to say something when the metal door suddenly opened, light pouring in the storage room so suddenly that both third-years were blinded temporarily. Iwaizumi immediately let go of Kiku's hand and rose threateningly, ready to strangle Oikawa and his idiot friends for locking him with Kiku in the storage room and–

"Iwaizumi-san!"

He froze, hands still held up in a threatening, ready to strangle, action. He blinked and realized that the one who had opened the storage room was Watari.

"Watari?" He asked, looking around the gymnasium.

"I saw the light in the gymnasium, and the knee pads' box wasn't in the storage room so I came to put it in! I had no idea I would find you there…" The libero explained sheepishly, and a little confused as to why his Vice-Captain would be in here.

Realizing that Oikawa hadn't even come to free them – this idiot had probably forgotten about it already! – it took a moment for Iwaizumi, glaring at the image of his friend he was currently imagining, to react.

Kiku appeared at his side and Watari's eyes widened when he took notice of her.

"Oh… I-I see…" He said, blushing and stepping away, "S-sorry for interrupting you…" He mumbled.

Kiku's eyes blinked in confusion, Iwaizumi tilted his head on a side and glanced between the girl and the libero. And gasped.

"Wait! NO! I-it's not! I wasn't! W-we weren't!" He stammered.

"I'm sorry!" Watari exclaimed, running away.

Iwaizumi's hand reached for the libero, to explain that he hadn't been busy doing _stuff_ with Kiku in the storage room but he was already at the other side of the gymnasium. Kiku and Hajime stared at his retreating figure, eyes and mouth wide open in shock and frozen at the entrance of the storage room. In less than three minutes, the _whole_ team – _including coach Irihata, Kiku's UNCLE!_ – would know that Watari had found them in the dark storage room…

The loud sound of the metal door sliding close once again brought back Iwaizumi on earth as he suddenly grabbed it to keep it open. Damn door that just kept sliding close on its own.

"I am _so_ going to kill Trashykawa…!" He hissed to himself.

Once sure everything was _in_ the storage room, and that both Kiku and Iwaizumi were _out_ of it – they let the door close. Iwaizumi didn't have the key to lock it – but there was no way he'd come back to do that, Oikawa would!

"I-I should go help Mizoguchi-san preparing dinner!" Kiku exclaimed.

"Ah! Wait!" He called.

She grabbed her bag and ran off.

Iwaizumi sighed deeply and followed, turning off the last lights and decided to go take his shower – he'd beat up his friends after he had tried relaxing a little. The good part was that at this time, no one would be in the showers and he'd have it for himself.

Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa, after showering and changing, were discussing lightly, as they were advancing towards the cafeteria, seeing Kiku quickly run into it to help Mizoguchi.

"Wait, aren't we forgetting something?" Mattsun asked, frowning lightly in confusion.

There was a moment of silence as they fell into a stop, thinking deeply about it before they all gasped.

"IWAIZUMI!"

"IWA-CHAN!"

"FUCK!"

If Kiku was out of the storage room, it meant that _so was Iwaizumi_ , and he was probably thirsting for blood! _Their_ blood!

Panicked for a short moment, and expecting a sudden death coming from anywhere around them, the three third-years tense up.

"If you're looking for Iwaizumi-san," Yahaba intervened, after hearing their screams, "He just went into the showers."

The second-year setter walked away calmly while Makki turned towards Mattsun and Oikawa:

"Wait – the showers? Why isn't he trying to kill us right away?" Makki asked.

"Perhaps something good _actually_ happened while they were locked up?" Oikawa mused, blinking in astonishment.

"Wasn't it your _plan_ – it was the whole goal to make something happen between the two!" Matsukawa exclaimed.

"Yes, yes, but I didn't expect Iwa-chan to _actually_ have the courage to do that!" He exclaimed.

"Do you think he asked her out? That they _made out?"_ Makki asked with wide eyes.

Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki stared at each other with wide eyes, in silence. Before turning around and running to the showers as fast as possible – forgetting the Damocles' sword hanging above their heads the moment they'd see Iwaizumi, they _needed_ answers!

Iwaizumi was just exiting the shower, towel around his waist, still angry about the whole mess his friends had caused, but mostly thinking about how adorable Kiku was, when screams and running steps echoed. He just had time to look up when Hanamaki, Matsukawa and Oikawa arrived running and screaming:

"WE NEED TO KNOW!"

"WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"IWA-CHAAN!"

"O-OI!" Iwaizumi screamed.

But Oikawa slid on a puddle of water and fell forward – right towards Iwaizumi. Out of reflex, Iwaizumi caught his arm before he could meet the ground – but slid as well (he was still wet from the shower after all). His feet slid around and he fell backwards, losing balance. He screamed and met the ground harshly on his behind.

"Iwa-chan! I'm so sorry! Are you all right?!" Oikawa shouted.

All three immediately fussed around their friend who was keeping his eyes closed after the violence of the fall, worry and guilt on all of their faces because they had never seen Iwaizumi fall so suddenly, and especially on a floor as hard as the shower one. It had been a violent fall and their lower backs throbbed just thinking about how terrible it must have felt for their Ace.

"I-I'm fine…" Iwaizumi mumbled, before wincing.

His left hand covered his right wrist, a pout on his face.

"You hurt your wrist?" Hanamaki asked while Oikawa was starting trembling because it had been _his_ fault his friend had slid on the shower floor.

"It'll be fine, it's nothing," Iwaizumi answered stubbornly.

The three stared at his wrist, lightly swollen from the impact. Iwaizumi moved it around and tried to hide his wince but it didn't escape Oikawa's gaze:

"We need to get you to Mizoguchi, I'm so sorry, Iwa-chan! If I hadn't slid, you wouldn't have lost your balance!"

"It was stupid of us to run into the showers like crazy," Makki added as they helped the Ace up.

"I'm fine," He grumbled, grabbing his clothes to get dressed, trying to ignore the throb in his hand, "Why the hell did you come like that anyway?" He asked grumpily.

He tried not to use too much his hand, and it didn't escape his friends. They all pouted, not in the mood to be excited about what might have possibly happened between him and Kiku. Not if he was injured because of their own stupidity. If they hadn't been running like fools, Oikawa wouldn't have slid, Iwaizumi wouldn't have saved him and fallen. And get injured.

Once dressed, all three of the third-years fussed around Iwaizumi to force him to go show his wrist to Mizoguchi.

"I'm telling you I'm fine!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, more pissed off by the minute, as they arrived in the cafeteria.

Most of the team was here already, waiting for dinner to be ready and at once, everyone glanced over at the third-years. At first, it was because everyone had heard from Watari about Iwaizumi and Kiku spending time together in the storage room – but when they noticed the dark expressions on all four of the third-years, they only stared at them.

"Mizoguchi! Coach!" Oikawa called, sounding panicked.

"What is it?" Mizoguchi asked, Kiku glancing curiously from where she was cooking.

"Iwa-chan got hurt! It's my fault!" Oikawa whined, pulling forward the Ace.

"And I'm telling you I'm _fine!"_ Iwaizumi grumbled.

The entire team tense up, Mizoguchi and Irihata immediately dropping everything they were doing to surround the young man. Once Iwaizumi was sitting, the entire team watching from afar nervously, Mizoguchi examined his wrist for a moment, Irihata just behind, lips thin.

"What happened?" Irihata asked.

"I made him fall in the showers, it's my fault, coach…" Oikawa said, and as surprising as it was, his eyes were glassy – probably from tears he refused to let fill his eyes.

"No, I'm the one who slid down, I shouldn't have put my hand down to catch myself, it was stupid," Iwaizumi quickly added when Irihata threw a dark gaze towards the setter – no need to make Oikawa feel any more guilty than he already felt.

"It's _all_ of our faults," Hanamaki said, hands in his pockets.

"Congratulation, all of you, our Ace might be broken before the Inter-High. I hope you're proud of what you've done!" Irihata snapped, glaring at the three third-years.

All looked down and away but Iwaizumi leaned forward, heart suddenly beating in panic, frowning to keep his eyes from showing how shaken up he felt since he had fallen on his wrist – he couldn't afford to abandon his team _now_ , he couldn't afford to get hurt _now!_

"Coach! It was my fault! And I'm _fine!_ I'll be able to play for the Inter-High, I swear!"

"That, only a doctor will decide!" Irihata answered, glaring at the Ace who bit on his lower lip hard.

Iwaizumi looked down, his entire body trembling of rage. Not against his coach, or his friends but because his own clumsiness had led to this… but he hated the idea to be hurt just before the Inter-High. He hated the idea to miss it – he couldn't let Oikawa lead the team on his own, not against Shiratorizawa, they wouldn't beat Ushiwaka this way!

"It doesn't seem broken, but you should have it checked," Mizoguchi said, "Does it hurt?"

"It doesn't hurt, there's no need to–"

Iwaizumi pulled away his hand suddenly when Mizoguchi lightly turned it around, making it throb in pain.

"Doesn't hurt, _uh_. Where's the first-aid kit I asked for?" Mizoguchi asked, Watari bringing it to him after going to get it in the coaches' room.

Iwaizumi pouted while Mizoguchi was putting some cream and bandages around his wrist, shoulders down and everyone glancing nervously at the idea that their Ace and Vice-Captain might be seriously hurt.

"You'll go to the hospital tomorrow morning, Mizoguchi will take you there." Irihata said.

"B-but! There's the Golden Week! I can't miss practice! I can't afford to _not_ practice when the Inter-High is getting closer!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, trying to stand up.

Mizoguchi pulled him back down on the chair while Irihata shook his head:

"No. You'll go to the doctor tomorrow morning and won't discuss it. Once we know for sure you're not badly hurt, you'll be allowed to come back. Not before that. Understood?" He said with a hard voice.

Iwaizumi swallowed, glanced at Oikawa for help but for once, the setter was staring at him with a strong gaze. Silently, Oikawa shook lightly his head, telling his best friend to do as the coach was saying. Sighing, Hajime nodded angrily.

Once he had bandages around his wrist, dinner was ready and everyone went to their seats. They ate half-heartedly and when Oikawa brought a trail of food to Iwaizumi he only glared at it.

"Not eating won't do you any good," Mizoguchi said as he walked behind the Ace.

He huffed and Matsukawa turned towards him, still feeling guilty but trying to light up the mood:

"You're sulking and being childish. You look like Oikawa, it's creepy." He commented.

"Oi! What is that supposed to mean, Mattsun?!" Oikawa exclaimed, looking offended.

It managed to bring half-smiles on everyone on the table and Hanamaki piped up:

"If you have trouble eating with your hand bandaged like that, perhaps we should ask Kiku to feed you?"

Hajime flushed and tried to force his lips to remain into a stubborn pout. He failed and despite how terrible he felt at the moment, the corner of his lips quirked up a little and he grabbed his chopsticks. He couldn't be angry at his friends when they were trying so hard to make him feel better…

"Shut up…" He mumbled while starting to eat.

They smiled a little, glad that their Ace was feeling a little less down.

Later that night, while everyone was sleeping deeply, Iwaizumi couldn't stop moving around, eyes wide open. He couldn't stop worrying about his hand, praying it wasn't a big injury and that he would be fixed on time for the Inter-High. When he wasn't worrying about his hand, he was worrying about Kiku. There were so many things kept untold about her, he wanted to know so much more but she seemed so frightened to open up. Was it because she had opened up in the past and it hadn't worked out? Or because she had never opened up to anyone before? What was he supposed to do about it?

Sighing annoyingly because he couldn't sleep, he turned on his stomach, making sure his hand was safely put on top of his pillow and wouldn't get into a possibly painful position.

"Iwa-chan."

He turned his gaze to his left, noticing Oikawa staring at him in the mid-darkness of the classroom. Just like him, he was laying on his stomach, both hands buried under his pillow.

"I'm sorry for your hand…" He whispered, finally letting sadness and guilt seep through his masks now that no one else would witness it.

"…It's okay, it wasn't really your fault. I should have been able to catch myself, or not stupidly put my hand down… I don't blame you, Oikawa." He murmured.

Even if he knew it already, hearing these words made Oikawa sigh in relief. There was a moment of silence – except for the few snores here and there.

"When we arrived in the showers, we wanted to know what had happened between you and Kiku-chan."

"So you _did_ lock us in on purpose," Iwaizumi concluded, narrowing his eyes threateningly.

Oikawa startled slightly, afraid to fall asleep now, with his friend still looking so angry about it, but then, he just smirked and shrugged his shoulders:

"So… _did_ something happen with Kiku-chan~?" He asked, and even though he kept his voice down, he couldn't smother the teasing in it.

Hajime flushed, hoping the darkness hid it and put his mouth against his pillow.

"We only talked… why didn't you tell me you had asked her to join the team as manager?" He asked, voice smothered but it was quiet enough for Oikawa to hear.

"Because I knew that you wouldn't like it. You'd want it to be Kiku-chan's choice – no one else influencing her." Oikawa answered calmly.

Hajime only stared at the darkness, vaguely frightened at how well Oikawa knew him. Of course, they knew each other, they were best friends, childhood friends, they had grown up together, they were as close as brothers. But it was still as impressive as it was frightening to know that Oikawa could read him like an open book. He wondered if he knew him quite as well… he wasn't sure, and it saddened him a little.

"She thinks I'm scared of the dark because I wanted to hold her hand…" Hajime admitted, blushing a little in shame.

Oikawa turned wide eyes to him, his chocolate orbs shining in the dark. He looked shocked – Hajime was glad that, after all, he could still surprise Oikawa.

Then, Tooru shook his head and chuckled to himself, smothering the sound with his pillow.

" _How lame…"_ Makki whispered from the other side, after listening to the whole conversation.

"Shut up," Hajime said, trying to sound grumpy, but he was smiling.

* * *

 _Don't kill me, Iwa-chan will be fine and he'llplayforhteIH- ohmy gods they're coming at me with swords and torches..._

 _YOU'LL LOVE CHAPTER 21 IT'S MY FAVORITE CHAPTER SO FAR WILLL YOU LET ME LIVE IF I SAY THAT?! I'M NOT EVEN LYING IT'S THE TRUTH IT'S JUST KYYAAAAA!_

 _Also I've been thinking recently how it's so sad we don't have any idea of how the Shiraotrizawa VS Aoba Jousai matches went so I'm thinking about writing a one-shot that'd be an imaginary match between them with lots of epicness (the hell I'm talking about I don't even like writing volleyball matches I prefer angst and love and fluff but I want my baby leaves to have their moment of glory as well) Anyway, just... don't know yet... "_

 _I love you guys? ;D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	20. Rejection, and Acceptance

_Hey, hye! :D_

 _20 chapters already, it's incredible and it's all thanks to you! Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed this fanfic but also to all the ones who supported me for Sowlmate! :)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : They're taking baby steps but at least, they're not rushing things - unlike a couple of owls I know of... He'll be fine! I'm trying to keep as much of the canon as possible, even if there little changes bound to happen! ;)_

 _ **bookdragonslayer** : Ahah~ I'm happy you liked the scene in the room~_

 _ **AmericanNidiot** : If you type "watch haikyuu stage play" there are apparently dailymotion video but I had downloaded the stage play from tumblr, there is a post xplaining where and how to download it! :) Honestly... reading your review, I had very dirty thoughts when it comes to "Hajime spanking Kiku" but they're too pure (for now) for me to say antyhing that might eb detailed here! XD_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : He's not really scared of the dark tho, he just said that to hold her hand, ahah! XD If you read Sowlmate's last chapters, you know about Kiku's possible manager role! ;) Oikawaisn't a bad guy, not at all, he's probably kinder than he even thinks himself because he's helped out Tobio and Ushijima by given them advices even though he hates them._

 _ **LuxKlara** : Grazie, sono felice di sapere che ti piaciono i miei capitoli! :D Seguo il canon quanto piu possibile, prometto! Capitolo 21, e il 22... arrivano, arrivano!;) Prossimo capitolo è Sowlmate ma dopo, erà il 21! ;)_

 _ **.** : Yes, yes, exactly! Making people feel better makes ME feel better as well! I've read somewhere than one of the best way to handle depression is by helping out in charity and stuff. Seeing other people's joy is good and also, it gives you a feeling of doing somethign that matters and it's very good! Kiku is TRYING very hard to believe in herself but it's almost imposisble for her - which is why the fact that Hajime will believe so much in her, will support her for everything is VERY important because that's going to determine how much MORE Kiku can become. Love can do so much, and in the best way~_

 _ **LilyDaph** : Tu es sans doute endormie à l'heure qu'il est également... désolée... (j'ai pas vu le temps passé en écrivant et voilà qu'il est presque 2h alors que je devais aller me coucher à minuit max XD) La "bien aimée" d'Oikawa apparait dans Sowlmate (seul moment où elle apparait autre que la fanfic d'Oikawa) mais sinon, il la mentionnera dans Quiet Voice! ;) J'ai préparé un personnage assez particulier, j'ai eu beacoup de mal à me décider pour la fille d'Oikawa et j'espère qu'elle ne décevra personne. En tout cas, elle sera différent des OC géénralement créées pour Oikawa. J'espère, j'essaie; tout en essayant de la garder intéressante et 'correspondante" à Tooru... Ne t'en fais pas! Kiku aura d'autres occasions de s'occuper d'Hajime! ;)_

 ** _Houshikun001_** _: Fluffiness in the dark, in the light, by day or by night, it's all the time with Kijime~ There willd efinitely be some nursing back to health moments! ;)_

 _ **Reader fan** : Well... I also squealed loudly when Iwa-chan appeared in the season 3 WHILE KNOWING HE WOULD APPEAR AND WITH MY MOTHER WATCHING WITH ME (I forced her, she loves Hinata) and it was veryveryembarrassing... Kiku would be an amazing manager because hse loves taking care of people as well as cheering for them... There is a particular ~something~ she will do during the Inter-High to encourage Hajime and I cannot wait to write it~~ :3_

 _ **King Cook** : Mmmm... Karasuno will come later, and I'd rather keep their presence as a minimum partly because unlike in my toher fanfics, the only role Karausno has for Aoba Jousai is that of "opponents" there is no friendly rivalry like with Nekoma, Fukurodani, etc. so I have to keep the relationship between the Seijou boys and Karasuno as close to canon as posisble. But there will be more time between Kiku and the rest of the team, and I hope that despite Karasuno's presence kept low, you'll still enjoy the rest of the story! :)_

 _ **sxs1000** : Your review made me cry in joy, it's so sweet, thankk you so much! :D I'm so happy you like the story and that everything, especially the characters, are to your tastes! :D I get what yo'ure saying about the differences of atmosphere between manga and fanfic and if you find mine refreshing and enjoy it...~ It makes me very happy~_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XX : Rejection, and Acceptance

" _There are no safe choices. Only other choices."_

― **Libba Bray, A Great and Terrible Beauty**

" _People often ask me questions that I cannot very well answer in words, and it makes me sad to think they are unable to hear the voice of my silence."_

— **Hazrat Inayat Khan**

" _Life always begins with one step outside of your comfort zone."_

― **Shannon L. Alder**

" _I am good at walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject."_

― **Jeanette Winterson, Weight: The Myth of Atlas and Heracles**

" _Placing my head on my knees, I let the irrational tears fall unrestrained. I am crying over the loss of something I never had. How ridiculous. Mourning something that never was - my dashed hopes, my dashed dreams, and my soured expectations."_

― **E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey**

" _She smiled at me_

 _and slowly, I realized_

 _my frown had disappeared._

 _I was smiling._

 _How was I smiling?"_

— **Babbar Sher**

" _Nothing brings down walls as surely as acceptance."_

― **Deepak Chopra, The Third Jesus: The Christ We Cannot Ignore**

The entire volleyball team turned around as Mizoguchi and Iwaizumi came back from the hospital.

"So?" Irihata asked, looking up at them from his bench while the regulars all surrounded their Ace worriedly and everyone stayed close-by.

"I'm fine," Iwaizumi said with a tight smile.

" _So?"_ Irihata repeated, turning towards Mizoguchi to get the truth.

"A light sprained wrist. One week of complete immobilization and two weeks going easy but then, he should be fine."

"Good, better than expected," Irihata sighed in relief, everyone echoing him.

"Glad to know that you'll be in top shape for the Inter-High, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, tapping his friend's shoulder.

"Just because _I_ won't be practicing, don't think I'll go easy on any of you," Iwaizumi answered, throwing a dangerous look towards the team, and especially the three third-years who had involuntarily caused his sprain.

All the regulars shivered and Oikawa was shock frozen for a moment, before he carefully stepped away from his friend.

Iwaizumi – who was now supposed to stay sit and at least, not move his hand much – glanced around but didn't see the person he was looking for. As the others were taking a break to drink some water, he approached his friends and put a hand on Oikawa, making him jump:

"Oi, did you see Kiku today?" He asked, still looking around.

"Mm? Not yet, I didn't go to the cheerleaders' gymnasium either. I had to stay here for some papers to fill." He answered.

"Mm."

"You could go check yourself, considering you have more than enough time on your hands!" Hanamaki exclaimed with a grin.

"No, the priority is the team." He mumbled with a sigh, "I can't leave you – I'm sure you all slacked off all morning."

"What would make you think so, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked, putting on an innocent face.

"Because _you_ were the one leading them and we all know that if I'm not here to push your butt forward, you just slack off!" Iwaizumi hissed, scowling, even if he knew that the one who was always overpracticing also was Oikawa – it just felt good bickering with him.

"How mean, Iwa-chan!"

Somehow, seeing them arguing managed to get rid of the last bits of tension around the team. Despite their Ace's little injury, if their Captain and Vice-Captain were acting normally, then everything was all right.

In another gymnasium, shared by the basketball club and the cheerleading club, just like for the volleyball club, everything was as usual.

Kiku was staring at her feet, leaning against a wall and looking at the rest of the cheerleading team. Except the moment she had worried for Iwaizumi after learning he had slipped in the showers and hurt himself, she had spent the entirety of her time thinking over Oikawa and Iwaizumi's words. Both had explicitly said that the cheerleading club hadn't accepted Kiku, that she wasn't, and had never been, part of the team. At first, Kiku didn't want to believe it, but the truth was that she had _always_ known that. It wasn't a surprise to know she wasn't accepted, she had always been rejected so it was the same as usual.

She was used to it.

She wasn't used to people reaching out to her and saying out loud what she's always known.

" _Are you aware that the cheerleading club doesn't consider you one of their teammates? Would they care if you'd be gone from the team? Are you sure you're having fun when they treat you like that? You_ _ **do**_ _know that they're treating you badly?"_

In her first-year, the other first-years from the cheerleading club had spent most of their time making fun of her and despising her. Simply because she wasn't fit and _"shouldn't"_ practice sports such as gymnastics and dance where only thin, fit bodies were considered _"good"._ Kiku didn't mind, she was used to being treated this way. She was used to being told what to do and that she was _"wrong"_. And she knew that _at some point_ , they'd be a team and that it would matter more. _Right?_

She was trying so hard to be good enough to her teammates, she was trying to have the same interests as them, to participate in conversation. This way, they'd realize that she wasn't _wrong_. Just _different_. But then, came the Golden Week and unlike the rest of the time where Kiku would have the time to take care of herself, to relax, she spent all the time desperately reaching out to others. They looked down at her, probably not even realizing the way they were treating her, and then…

" _That's why she's always taking showers on her own?!"_

" _Look at that! It's hideous!"_

" _She's_ _ **that**_ _desperate for attention?!"_

" _How lame!"_

" _She's so stupid and_ _ **ugly**_ _!"_

" _She's a_ _ **monster**_ _!"_

Kiku couldn't hold on any longer and a few minutes after this accident, her parents came to get her. Kiku hadn't even warned her coach and Captain, she had been just too desperate to get away. To breathe, to stop crying.

Her uncle had warned the other coach who punished the group of girls who had insulted Kiku, but it only worsened it all. Kiku hadn't known that the coach had known the details, she didn't know the girls had been punished because of her.

But it didn't matter because after that, they rejected her. Instead of despising and looking at her mockingly, they just shut her out. They wanted her gone. They didn't want of Kiku on their team, they didn't want of a monster unfit for cheerleading. She was ruining everything, like always. She couldn't fit in with people, like always. She was just being rejected, like always…

" _Why have you remained on the cheerleading club all these years when they don't even treat you like a teammate?"_ Hajime had asked her the previous day.

" _Because I like it. I like… cheerleading."_ She had answered so easily.

And it was _so true_.

Ever since she had assisted to a little show of cheerleaders in front of the hospital she had been in, the way these pretty ladies seemed to fly and make impossible stunts. The way they were smiling, cheeks rosy and grins wide. The way they kept shouting encouraging words. Encouraging words coming out of their _hearts_ and _souls_ , and not out of pity or because it was their job… the encouraging words Kiku _had needed_ back then. She couldn't stop thinking about this joy these ladies had felt, the joy _she_ wanted to feel as well.

She started taking dance and gymnastics classes and once she was able to do some stunts, she joined the neighborhood cheerleading club with her friend from dance. She was too closed-off and shy to suddenly join any club, and even less the cheerleading club, from her Middle-school, especially considering she was already in her third year. But when she joined high-school, she took her courage in her hands and decided to join the cheerleading club and get on a _real_ team, to _really_ cheer for other teams from her school. She wanted to integrate, to be with people. She wanted her shyness and trauma to stop controlling her life… but it didn't work out.

No matter how much she tried, she would always be awkward, shy, fat, ugly, messed-up Kiku. She'd always be the monster people rejected.

But she couldn't give up the cheerleading club, no matter how hard it was to keep herself from crying whenever she'd hear an insult, or felt rejected, or kept away. She had tried too hard to get there to let these selfish girls have their way. That was when Kiku realized that she was actually a very stubborn person, not that it did much for her on the team. She had never been part of the team and never would, but she had nowhere else to go, so she stayed…

Without quite realizing it, Kiku stopped enjoying cheering. Going to cheering competitions, going to encourage the various teams of her school to competitions… it became a chore. Going to practice… a torture. She would go with her feet feeling as if they were glued on the floor, something chaining her down – _loneliness_. Shoulders slumping, head kept down, sighing more often than not… she had never wanted of that. It wasn't what cheerleading was supposed to be. It was supposed to be full of joy and cheerfulness! Not… _that_.

" _Why don't you leave this club? Why don't you join us as a manager? Go tell your teammates you hurt your ankle, and see how they'll react. Even though, I'm pretty sure you already know how they'll react…"_

Kiku couldn't figure out what Oikawa wanted out of it. There might be something he was doing for his own good, for the team, rather than her… but even if she was a tool for some unknown goal from the volleyball Captain, Kiku wanted to _believe_ that a part of him was doing it for _her_ sake. That someone had _actually_ reached out and taken her hand to guide her. That someone _cared_ enough to break her chains of loneliness.

Kiku couldn't help but think about Hajime and how, despite everything, he still valued _her choice_ above all.

" _If you come… I want it to be_ _ **your**_ _choice… only if you can be sure that you're a hundred percent sure you'll be happy… cheering only for_ _ **us**_ _from the bench rather than… in a fucked up club that doesn't know what a team is supposed to be…_ _ **Your**_ _choice."_

As if _her_ choice, _her_ heart, _her_ happiness mattered more than anything else. Perhaps he was _that_ kind to think of her before anyone else. More than anyone else, Hajime had reached out to her, had been kind to her. It was the reason why she had fallen in love with the grumpy Ace, after all…

When Miyano-san called for the end of break, everyone went forward, not realizing that Kiku stared at them from afar without moving right away. She pushed herself off the wall and advanced as well.

"Captain…" She called hesitantly.

But Miyano didn't hear her, or didn't care, and continued talking with her Vice-Captain about what they would practice next.

"Captain," Kiku called once again, swallowing hard when a few people glanced at her curiously.

Their coach glanced up from her notes as well. Kiku hesitated, lips opening and closing until she forced her mouth to open once again:

"Miyano-san!" She screamed.

Everyone startled at her sudden raise of voice and Kiku blushed terribly in embarrassment, hating to attract attention to herself. Slowly, Miyano turned around with wide eyes, looking down at Kiku in complete bewilderment:

"Yes?" She asked, blinking.

"I… I…" Kiku stammered, glancing around hesitantly.

"Well, what is it?" Miyano continued, impatiently.

" _Go tell your teammates you hurt your ankle, and see how they'll react."_

"I… m-my ankle… h-hurts a little… I-I'm not sure I'll uh… I'll be able to perform… my part…" Kiku said awkwardly, not used to lie.

Not like that, at least.

To add more truth to the words, she lifted up a little her right ankle, as if in pain to stand on it. Before her coach could say a thing, Miyano reacted. She turned with a bright smile towards a second-year:

"That's great! Acchan! You wanted to participate, didn't you? You could take Akiyama's part!" She exclaimed excitedly.

Kiku's blood ran cold as she stared, without quite seeing, Miyano, and the rest of her teammates… Only coach didn't seem quite as enthusiastic and frowned at Miyano's words.

So easily.

It was so natural for all of them to forget about Kiku. To get rid of the monster, to erase her as if she had never existed. _No_. She _had_ never existed for them, she had _never_ been part of the team.

Kiku lowered her head, the only one unmoving and silent in the flow of enthusiast cheerleaders…

"Miyano-san…" She called with a broken voice.

But the Captain didn't hear her. Kiku swallowed hard and clenched her fists before looking up, ignoring the way her cheeks had heated up from the tears she was bravely holding back:

"MIYANO-SAN!" She shouted loudly.

Once again, everyone startled but this time, Miyano turned around faster. And froze when she saw the expression on Kiku's face – not the tears but… the determination and anger shining in her eyes. Never before, Kiku had let her mask of shyness and kindness slip to let out her true emotions and at the moment, it was _frightening_.

"I'm quitting the cheerleading club!" Kiku exclaimed.

"Eh? B-but! Akiyama!" The coach exclaimed.

"Thank you for these three years," Kiku added with a bow towards the team and coach.

Too stunned to say anything, everyone just stared at her. They were too surprised to even think that it was about time she quit the team. Kiku had been so stubborn in remaining on the team for three years that, even if she wasn't one of them, she was still always here in the background. Why did she change so suddenly in her last year? What had happened?

Then, without another glance towards them or another word uttered, Kiku spun around and walked out of the gymnasium, standing tall and proud, firm determination ablaze in her eyes.

Awkward Akiyama Kiku was too stubborn to leave the cheerleading club because she had nowhere else to go. But Akiyama Kiku who allowed herself to make a different choice would find her own path, in her own time. It might just start with a first step towards the volleyball club's gymnasium.

After retrieving her bag, Kiku walked away from the gymnasium. Without much surprise, no one came after her, no one tried to hold her back…

Her steps slowed down until she came to a stop, in the middle of the many gymnasiums of Aoba Jousai. Her bag slipped from her shoulder and fell at her feet but Kiku left it on the ground. It was quiet. All the sports club were in the gymnasium or practicing in the training field and she was all alone here. There was a little wind that shook her hair, her fingers trembled and she let herself curl up into a ball, covering her face with her hands, tears streaming down. Her shoulders shook as she held back sobs and cried as silently as she could to not attract anyone's attention but despite all fo her efforts, whining sounds escaped her throat as she cried for the three years she had spent being treated like a monster. For the three years of illusion of happiness she had lived.

It hurt _so much_ , being rejected for not being good enough…

Kiku cried for a long time, tears never stopping. She remained in the toilets of the first gymnasium she had entered and waited for her tears to cease, for her heart to not break anymore whenever she thought of having quit the cheerleading club, for feeling indecisive about whether or not she had made the right choice…

Once she didn't have any more tears to shed, and her heart didn't hurt quite as much, she made sure her eyes showed no sign of tears then she quietly made her way towards the volleyball club's gymnasium, feeling a little groggy, drunken by her sadness. She remained at the door, watching the boys from afar for a long moment, just listening to the squeaks of the shoes, the balls hitting the court, and the encouraging shouts from everyone.

Kiku wanted to stay on the side and watch them for a while, until the end of their practice, but Iwaizumi turned around in between two advices given to his juniors and noticed her. He froze in his steps, eyes widening lightly before a goofy smile appeared on his face. He ran to the other side of the gymnasium, to her, everyone turning around to glance at their Ace and noticing Kiku as well.

"Akiyama-san!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, a few more boys coming closer while Irihata and Mizoguchi called for a break – the team wouldn't focus for a while now, "How are you?" He asked.

Kiku blinked and quickly hid her emotions by glancing down at his hand surrounded by a splint:

"How is your hand? You went to the hospital this morning?" She asked, avoiding answering him.

Iwaizumi pouted just as the others arrived and surrounded Kiku:

"He's off practice for a week, then has to train lightly until the Inter-High," Mattsun answered.

"Thank goodness it's not as bad as it might have been…" She sighed, a hand over her heart.

Hajime blushed at her attention but then, Oikawa leaned towards Kiku with a smile:

"What are you doing here at such an early hour, Kiku-chan?" He asked, tilting his head on a side.

Flushing in embarrassment, she looked away but answered quickly – too quickly but no one except a few seemed to notice her trouble:

"Ah! Uh! I-um, I-I was t-taking… a break… a-and wanted to come see… you…" She murmured, glancing quickly at Hajime who blushed at her gaze before she quickly turned to the others, "A-all of you, o-of course…"

"Of course," Makki snorted, arms crossed his chest while Mattsun leaned against him and snickered as well.

"Taking a break with your bag?" Oikawa continued, glancing at the bag at her feet.

Kiku glanced at him quickly, something close to panic flashing in her eyes. But when he smiled good-heartedly and no one said anything else – they were too busy teasing Iwaizumi who ended up shouting at them, making them go away – Kiku sighed in relief and her shoulders dropped. She watched from the entrance as Iwaizumi screamed at his teammates as they all went away from his wrath, but they seemed to enjoy themselves. They drank water, used towels, glad to just have a break now that they had saluted their favorite alien-mermaid.

Only Oikawa remained at Kiku's side, watching over the rest of the team, like the proud Captain he was. He had so much faith in them, it was incredible.

"You seem much more relaxed, Kiku-chan. As if a burden has been taken off your shoulders…" Oikawa remarked with a smile.

She glanced up at him, knowing that he knew that she had quit the cheerleading club. He was frightening and at the moment, she couldn't figure out if his smile was a mask or not.

Finally, Kiku smiled as well and looked back towards Hajime:

"Mm… I _do_ feel lighter. Thank you, Oikawa-san…" She said and for once, she didn't stammer, she didn't stay quiet, she didn't hide herself.

She kept her head held up high, her smile bright, her gaze determined and her voice unwavering.

Oikawa was surprised to see her becoming more like herself with someone else than Iwa-chan… but he was glad she could smile and feel at ease. He smiled once again and turned towards his team.

A few minutes later, practice started again for the volleyball club. Iwaizumi glanced at the entrance but Kiku was gone already. He thought she had gone back to her own practice, but Kiku was actually in front of the high-school's entrance, her phone on her ear as the phonecall rang regularly.

" _Yes?"_

"Dad, could you come at school? And bring them all?" Kiku asked at once.

There was a short pause, and she could guess her father's smile.

" _I'm coming,"_ he answered, making her smile.

Kiku waited for a long time outside the high-school, but didn't mind waiting. She kept herself busy by listening to music and playing an improvised hopscotch with the pavement and fallen leaves. A little truck arrived with _"Akiyama Bakery"_ written on its side and her tall father exited it.

"Just in time! They're about to finish!" Kiku exclaimed, already running to the back of the truck and opening it.

"Calm down, they won't run away!" Shouta exclaimed with a laugh.

Kiku grabbed two trays piled up on one another, making sure not to ruin the boys' surprise, and was already turning towards the volleyball club's gymnasiums. Shouta grabbed the four last trays without trouble, closed the doors of the truck and followed his daughter, more calmly.

Kiku was practically running, or bouncing excitedly, a mix of the two, to advance towards the gymnasium. As she entered the hall leading to the courts, she heard Oikawa's voice:

"Good job everyone! We did very well for the Golden Week! The first-years, you all survived Iwa-chan's torture–"

To this, Iwaizumi who was standing at his side with crossed arms, coughed loudly, glaring at his friend. Without flinching, Oikawa continued:

"I mean, you all went through Iwa-chan's _intense training_ without dying and–"

"Oikawa…" Iwaizumi grumbled with closed eyes.

"And for that, you can go through _anything!_ You have definitely gone stronger and have polished your skills – all of you!"

"Y'mean, all of _us_ , Captain!" Makki corrected.

" _Makki!"_ Oikawa squealed happily, "And I thought none of you respected me~! You just called me Captain~! I am so happy and–"

While Oikawa rambled and went on and on on the importance of teamwork, and their progress, Iwaizumi turned his head away… and noticed Kiku standing at the entrance, smiling and glancing at them shyly. Her gaze met his and her smile got brighter. Without realizing it, Hajime smiled as well.

It was what made the others react – they were used to their Captain's rambling, but their Ace wasn't usually _smiling softly_ to it! Everyone glanced behind them and noticed Kiku, and understood why Iwaizumi had been so suddenly happy.

"Akiyama!"

"Akiyama-senpai!"

Oikawa blinked when everyone forgot him and started walking towards the gymnasium's entrance to join the girl.

"I-I have something for you!" Kiku exclaimed.

She hopped a little in excitement and despite her cheeks red in embarrassment, a bright smile was on her face as she lifted up the trays. Making sure to hold the trays safely with one hand, she lifted up the baking paper covering them. At once, everyone's eyes filled with stars and many gasps and squeals exploded:

"Cookies!"

"You baked all of that for _us?!"_

"I'm so happy!"

"I could die of happiness at the moment!"

Everyone surrounded Kiku, everyone taking turns grabbing a cookie. When a sudden shadow hovered protectively behind Kiku, several looked up, gasped and jumped in fright upon seeing her father but he was smiling cheerfully, proudly, and more importantly: he had even more cookies. So instead of running away, the high-schoolers only took a few steps away and glanced up at the man warily, still munching on the cookies made for them. Some were very simple, others represented a volley ball and had tastes of vanilla, or chocolate, or a mix of the two…

At some point, Irihata and Mizoguchi managed to make their way through the crowd of hungry teenagers to salute Shouta _and_ thank Kiku. The only ones who had remained behind to watch over their team fussing over Kiku's cookies were the four third-years regulars.

"She baked cookies for us." Matsukawa remarked, as if the others weren't aware of it yet.

"I ain't eating that thing, it might be poisoned," Makki added with a suspicious frown.

"Don't be ridiculous, Makki~! Everyone is eating her cookies and no one is getting poisoned!" Oikawa laughed, patting his shoulder.

"It's _Kiku's!_ I'm not suicidal!"

"Someone probably wants to go all the way here and eat it _all_ – cookies and Kiku included, absolutely _everything~!_ Uh?" Mattsun teased, glancing at Iwaizumi.

But he was smiling as he watched Kiku from afar. He either didn't understand Mattsun's teasing or he ignored it totally. Surprised by his lack of reaction, the others glanced at him curiously.

"She seems happy, right?" Iwaizumi said, not tearing his gaze away from Kiku.

The others glanced back at Kiku and after noticing the girl laughing at something Kindaichi had said – which made the first-year flush awkwardly – they all smiled and nodded.

"She'd be happier if you were with her at the moment, though," Matsukawa added smugly.

"Eh? EH?! B-but!" Iwaizumi stammered, glancing back and forth between Kiku (with her father hovering dangerously close to her and glaring at any boy who would approach her too closely) and his friends who were smirking teasingly.

"Just go and pretend you want a cookie!" Makki exclaimed, rolling his eyes and pushing Iwaizumi forward.

Still, the Ace, glanced back at them, flushing in embarrassment because even if he was dying to stay with Kiku and get one of her cookie, he also knew that everyone would see him go there and talk with Kiku and that embarrassment and teasing would ensue…

"Just go conquer the girl, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, pushing him once again.

Iwaizumi grumbled about how it wasn't fair he was going on his own when everyone else had gone in groups… Kiku and Shouta had put down the six trays of cookies on benches brought for the boys to get access to the cookies freely so he didn't really have an excuse to go talk to Kiku at the moment. But he was the Vice-Captain and the least he could do was go thank her for all of her efforts for the team. Right? It wouldn't seem strange this way, right?

Knowing damn well that his three betraying friends were snickering in his back, and that basically the whole team was glancing at him in a mix of awe and encouragement, he walked towards Kiku who didn't seem to notice his approach. Irihata noticed him as well and raised an eyebrow – which seemed to be enough for Shouta to notice the boy approaching. The baker narrowed his eyes at the Ace who startled and shivered, suddenly fearing for his life.

Finally standing just a meter behind Kiku, Hajime felt his cheeks heat up as he opened his lips:

"Akiya–" He started awkwardly.

"I'll go get some drinks!" Mizoguchi exclaimed, covering his voice.

"I'll help you, Mizoguchi-san!" Kiku exclaimed, happily bouncing after him as they went away and to the cafeteria.

Hajime's shoulders dropped and he heard his friends' loud laughs from afar. Even Shouta chuckled – a low sound from the back of his throat, similar to the rumble of thunder.

"Better luck next time, boy!" He exclaimed, patting him on the shoulder – Iwaizumi almost flew off.

"U-uh… y-yeah…" He hesitated, glancing curiously at the man.

Shouta raised an eyebrow at his inquisitive gaze:

"You're not… telling me to back off?" Hajime hesitated.

Shouta stared at him, understanding very well where this was going. Making sure no one could hear their conversation, the baker put a large hand on Iwaizumi's shoulder and lean forward slightly, just enough so it could be private:

"Since the beginning of this school-year, Kiku has been going to school happy, and going back happy as well. This Golden Week, she was always smiling when I picked her up and I believe all of these smiles are thanks to you. If you're making her happy, then I have no reason to tell you to 'back off'." He said, patting the boy's shoulder softly.

A little stunned that he didn't get his skull wrecked, Hajime could only blink and nod sheepishly, half-tempted to pretend that there was nothing going on between Kiku and him.

"She got up at three thirty in the morning to prepare these cookies, she was very enthusiast. She kept saying _'They all deserve a treat for working so hard and being so nice to me! They've welcomed me on the team and it's all thanks to Iwaizumi-san! Iwaizumi-san got hurt and he's probably feeling down! I want to cheer them up!'_ and she had never baked so happily before." Shouta explained with a soft smile.

He crossed his arms over his broad chest and sighed, almost wistful.

"Thank you for taking care of Kiku and making her smile so much."

Iwaizumi glanced down at his injured hand. Kiku had baked these cookies for everyone, but she had a particular thought for _him_ , she wanted to cheer for _him_ …

"Iwa-chan!"

Brought back on earth by his friend's call, Iwaizumi joined Oikawa and Irihata. The coach was holding something in his right hand and he seemed mildly annoyed, mixed with something close to relief and… joy?

"Kiku asked me to join the volleyball team as a manager. I suppose I don't need to ask you what _you_ think of it, Iwaizumi." Irihata started, a tiny smile appearing on his lips.

The boy flushed and glanced away while Oikawa chuckled.

"Oikawa explained to me that you two saw her practicing and proposed to her to join. I don't mind, as long as you're not using her as a tool or for fun – and not just because she's my niece, okay? You need to consider her a proper teammate." Irihata continued, staring at the Captain and Vice-Captain.

It sobered them both and they nodded seriously, gazes determined to prove to their coach that they would treat Kiku right. They knew they would – just like the entire team.

"Well, then, when she'll be back. Welcome her properly. Will you?" Irihata said, handing whatever he was holding towards Iwaizumi.

He took the package curiously and glanced down at it. It was a jersey. The volleyball club manager's jersey, all new in its plastic paper. Kiku's jersey. She was joining the team.

The excitement that shot through him made him grin happily as Oikawa announced to everyone the good news.

Not long later, Mizoguchi and Kiku, holding plastic cups and fresh bottles of tea, arrived in the gymnasium.

"WELCOME TO THE AOBA JOUSAI'S VOLLEYBALL CLUB!"

Mizoguchi only smiled as Kiku gasped and startled, staring with wide eyes at the volleyball club. Bottles and cups fell down at her feet and rolled away as she lifted her fingers to her mouth, eyes filling with tears. Everyone had made a circle and was grinning at her.

"Welcome to our new manager!" Oikawa exclaimed, opening his arms wide, "We're counting on you, Kiku-chan~!" He added, bowing down to her.

"WE'RE COUNTING ON YOU!" They all echoed, bowing as well.

Shouta chuckled, leaning against a wall as Kiku grinned happily and went forward, everyone surrounding her. Mizoguchi tapped her shoulder with an encouraging smile and Oikawa started a speech that no one listened to about how refreshing it would be to have a manager.

"Hey… welcome to your new team…" Iwaizumi said in a low voice to Kiku after they ended up in front of each other (everyone had made sure it would happen this way).

She grinned to him as he handed her her new jersey. She took it and held it close to her chest, her smile never wavering as she looked up at him. Hajime hesitated a short moment before reaching to her and wiping away the tear of joy that had escaped her eye.

"Thank you for everything…" She whispered to him.

"No, thank _you_ …" He answered, his hand hovering near her cheek before going back to his side.

They stared at each other with red cheeks and silly grins, everyone watching them with teasing smiles but the couple didn't seem to notice anyone. It was as if they were the only ones in the world at this moment.

* * *

 _Not much happening, but Iwa-chan is fine, he'll play the Inter-High and you already knew (most of you) about Kiku becoming the manager~ I still hope you liked this chapter, though~_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : CONNECTION_

 _Thank you for your support~_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	21. Connection

_I had forgotten to say it last chapter but this fanfic has reached over 200 reviews, 225 favorites and OVER 300 FOLLOWS! Thank you SO MUCH for everyone's support! :D_

 _I said it also on Sowlmate's last chapter but for the ones who don't read it: Redonix made lovely fanarts of Ayakou and Kijime that you can see if you find on google her deviantart "red-rowan"! Check it out! :D_

 _As usual, thank you for your favorites, follows and reviews! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I'm so happy for KIku too~ She will be so supportive of them all, and one most of all, ahah~ I can't wait for the InterHigh so she can do her special ecouraging treatment to Hajime~ You know what? I think that if Ayaka had chosen ANYONE other than Bokuto, Akio would be okay wiht it - Ushijima, Akaashi, Oikawa,even Iwaizumi... he'd be down for any of them (except Tendou) but it HAD to be the only boy he can't see in picture (Bokuto). And who wouldn't approve of Hajime? :D_

 _ **Krisia** : Ahah, I hope I'll ruin your make-up even more in the future! :D For happy and sad tears! :D Sorry, I just keep forgetting to call you Krisia! We'll have a quick reaction of the cheerleaders and some classmates at Kiku's change of club, btuthe big reaciton will be when they'll start dating._

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : The difference will be more obvious with everyday Kiku will spend with the boys. Don't worry, Iwaizumi will start a slow progress. :)_

 _ **LuxKlara** : I prossimi capitolo eranno felici! ;) Honestamente, di tutti i miei OC, Kiku è la più forta e la più incredibile. I suoi cicatrici eranno menzionate nel questo capitolo, ma il mistero resta intero! :)_

 _ **Reader fan** : Shouta is such a great character and they're not even dating but he already gave his blessing to Hajiem for dating, marrying and being the father to his future grandchildrren. Ahah, out of context te whole "tattoo? Lizard? Godzilla?" sounds very werid but you'll see in time! XD_

 _ **sxs1000** : I like how you passionetely said that anyone should be able to do what they like, regardless of how they look before adding "but no murder, it's bad" XD It's very true, but it was funny the way you said it! x) Fluff and Kiku taking care of Iwa-chan are definitely coming! ;) Everything is going to accelerate now, and every chapter will have something new. :) I'm so glad you like Kiku's name! I find it so adorable! I don't remember if I had put it in the early chapters, but it means chrysanthem... chrysanthema... dh, I never remmeber the name in English of that flower, but it's the name of a flower! XD _

_**Houshikun001** : If you're tearing up for Kiku's treatment of her teamamtes and how she was accepted among the volleyboys, you might cry a river by the end of the fanfic. ;D_

 _ **Shy Guest** : Thank you for all of your reviews! It made me SO HAPPY! :D Thanks to Hajiem noticing her, Kiku will have so many friends - the team, Shinobu, ... it's a big change for KIku, but the best she could have hoped for. :) I have to add more "creampuff" references to Makki, it's so adorable that people call him that! XD And his relationship with Kiku is so great! :) I think Iwaizumi killed Oikawa many times over the years, but he's his best friend so he brought him back to life, or soemthing. He probablys just has to say "oh, an UFO" "WHERE?!" . It'd be funny if Oikawa wasn't a good singer but I can't imagine not knowing how to sing because ... Namikawa Daisuke. Ooooh! A mattsun-Kiku teaming to tease the hell out of Makki would be hilarious! xd I hadn't noticed that Mattsun was the one with the constant sex jokes, but it's true - him and Makki, both. XD Poor Hajime... You dream of Hajime taking off his clothes? Girl, can I have the same dream? Seriosuly, that's so lucky! XD The kouhai-senpai kink will definitely come back later on. I'm so glad you like my writing style and my attempts at humor! XD Native language? May I ask you your native language and where yo'ure from? :D I love knowing where my readers are from because it's amazing that people from all aroud the world can connect through Haikyuu (and my fafics)! :D I'll have to check the mecha thing about Iwa-chan! ;) Baby animals are coming (next chapter I think) The Aoba Jousai's 3rd years are also my favorite group of friends in Haikyuu - with the 3rd gymnasium! ;) I didn't like hurting Iw-chan either but... it means Kiku caring for him and I couldn't let this oppotunity go away... / Leaing the toxic people behind is hard but Kiku made the best choice, and now she has lots of friends who care for her and who she can care for in return! ;) I hope you'll like this chapter as well! :D_

 _ **AmericanNidiot** : I'm so sorry I hadn't noticed your name hadn't appeaed correclty - I usually copy-paste the surname but it might have gone wrong lst time! " Don't worry, when they'll be foficial, papa bear Shouta will give a long and intense speech to Hajime who will have no choice but to nod to everything he says._

 _ **LilyDaph** : Oh lala, je me sens coupable pour ton manque de sommeil! " J'espère que le chapitre est arrivé assez vite à ton goût? ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXI : Connection

" _She is proud, she is struggling with herself; but kind, charming, generous."_

— **Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov**

" _To be kind is more important than to be right. Many times what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a special heart that listens."_

— **Anonymous**

" _Your hand touching mine. This is how galaxies collide."_

― **Sanober Khan**

" _Finding someone you can really connect with is like winning the lottery — It happens basically never, but if it does, you really shouldn't blow it."_

— **Jessica Verdi, What You Left Behind**

" _Sometimes silence is a really good answer."_

— **Unknown**

" _We didn't talk about anything heavy or light. We were just there together. And that was enough."_

— **Stephen Chbosky**

" _Big things are often just little things that people notice."_

— **Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger**

" _The curves of your lips rewrite history."_

— **Oscar Wilde**

Before going to get their showers and bags and clean everything, the team ate the last of Kiku's cookies and drank the tea brought by their new manager. They all sat in groups of two or three, or more, chatting with smiles and laughs. And this time, Kiku wasn't alone on her side, she was surrounded by the four third-years regulars, who were half-teasing her and Hajime, and half-discussing light-heartedly.

"After we've cleaned up everything, we bring our bags back to our places, take a shower, change clothes and the team gathers for a karaoke! You'll join us, Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked excitedly, munching on one of her cookie.

"I-I d-don't know…"

"You're part of the team now!" Mattsun exclaimed.

"We won't take no for an answer!" Oikawa declared determinedly.

"T-then, I-I guess…" She agreed hesitantly.

"Makki will wait for you so you don't get lost, then!"

Iwaizumi frowned lightly while Makki sighed deeply.

"Greaaat… now that you're on the team, I'll have to avoid eating anything you prepare for us. And make sure I won't get killed in my sleep." He answered jokingly, pretending to be annoyed.

"You won't have to worry about that, Makki!" Kiku answered.

"Don't call me that." He said with a frown because only _Oikawa_ dared call him that – and the fact that Kiku just called him 'Makki' was making Oikawa bounce around excitedly like a radioactive rabbit.

She totally ignored his remark and continued with a smile:

"After all, the poison I've been feeding you all week should end you by Sunday. No need to worry about the future, you don't have any." She said with her usual kind voice.

Makki stared at her with wide eyes as she stood up to go fill her glass again. Mattsun was staring, impressed by her smugness, joke and the fact that she had managed to get Makki to shut up. Oikawa had stopped jumping and was keeping a smile on his face, blinking and trying to figure out whether or not he had heard right. Iwaizumi was staring at Kiku, lips open in shock, but then, he chuckled to himself, covering his amused snicker with a hand.

"OI! Don't laugh! What if it's true?! What if I'm dying?!" Makki exclaimed dramatically, totally believing Kiku would poison him.

"Well, then, I guess we'll need to find another wing-spiker," Iwaizumi answered with a shrug.

"Don't get rid of me so easily!"

Once everything was cleaned up and that Iwaizumi and Oikawa (mostly Iwaizumi) checked that everything was cleaned up in the gymnasium, cafeteria, restrooms, bathrooms and the classroom they had slept in, they left, being the last ones. They got home, took their showers and got dressed for the usual karaoke post team practice.

Most of the team was already waiting at the meeting point, Kindaichi looking shy to be with his senpai while Kunimi was as stoic as ever. Makki and Kiku arrived, surprisingly, without arguing. It took everything he had in himself for Iwaizumi to not collapse from fever when he saw how adorable she was. She was wearing a dress with high-thighs and Godzilla be his guide to remain functional for the whole evening when she was so pretty. Of course, Oikawa openly complimented their new manager – which made her blush and Hajime wished he had been the one getting her to blush like that. She glanced up at him, half-waiting for his reaction but as soon as their eyes met, he glanced away, flushing. Kiku looked away awkwardly and these two who were _mysteriously_ left on the side by the rest of the team (Captain's orders) remained in a heavy silence until everyone arrived. Then they started walking towards the karaoke, everyone falling into easy conversation which, for once, had nothing to do with volleyball. Perhaps meeting outside of school or practice and wearing casual clothes helped everyone relax.

Iwaizumi and Kiku were following the group, Oikawa glanced at them often and smiling encouragingly at his friend who kept glaring at him for no reason other than the fact that he had _no idea what to do or talk about_.

"You look nice," Kiku said, breaking the silence.

It surprised Hajime who blinked at her, not knowing what to do or say, so he just gaped at her. Until he blushed, startled and forced his voice to come out of his mouth:

"Y-you too! Y-you look very pretty…" He exclaimed awkwardly because _he_ should have been the one complimenting her first.

Kiku glanced up at him then looked him up and down slowly. Hajime swallowed hard because she was looking at him and it didn't feel like an innocent gaze _at all_ …

"You look more like yourself than last time," she added with a smile.

The last time they had seen each other in casual clothes had been when they had been studying for their paper – the time Hajime ended up in the bakery didn't count considering she had had an apron and he had had been covered in sweat.

"Y-yeah, last time Oikawa had been the one dressing me, saying that I needed to be dressed 'properly' for a study-date and… a-and… NOT THAT IT HAD BEEN A DATE!" He exclaimed suddenly with wide eyes, realizing his mistake.

Kiku looked up at him, blinked then smiled, awkward and shy again. Hajime looked away and flushed in embarrassment. They didn't add anything else for the rest of the way but now he knew not to let Oikawa dress him because Kiku could tell he wasn't being _himself_. It pleased him more than it should have.

The group entered the karaoke, the first-years and Kiku remaining behind and following the ones who were used to this tradition. After ordering drinks, they all started discussing on who would sing first. When it became close to an argument, Iwaizumi decided that everyone would draw lots to decide of the order. Oikawa whined when he was in the last ones while Hanamaki was the first one to go.

"You don't have a number, Iwaizumi-san. Don't you want to sing?" Kiku asked, leaning towards him to glance at his nonexistent number.

"Eeeh… no… I'm fine," he answered, glancing away.

"Let's start!" Makki exclaimed, standing up.

"No! Let's wait for the drinks to arrive!" Oikawa exclaimed.

Kiku glanced at Iwaizumi who remained focused on staying as silent as possible, then, she glanced at the others, watching their banter like an amusing show. Hajime glanced at the girl but then, she glanced at him from the corner of her eye and both looked away.

The drinks arrived, Makki passionately sang off-key, followed by a shy Watari. Kiku and Hajime didn't say a thing to each other, barely glancing at each other and when they did, they would immediately look away and blush.

"Oi, we've gotta do something…" Mattsun said, leaning towards Oikawa and nodding towards the couple.

"They're not even talking. Why are they so awkward now that she's on the team?" Makki asked.

"Maybe because they know they'll spend plenty of times together now?" Oikawa started, "AH! I know! Let's get them to sing together!"

"Iwaizumi never sang, not _once_. He doesn't like singing, especially in front of people. He'll never accept."

"Unless Kiku-chan is the one asking him?"

"I don't think this is gonna work…"

"Hold on, where is Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked suddenly.

Everyone turned to him, the few who hadn't noticed the girl's disappearance glanced at the empty seat next to Iwaizumi who shrugged:

"Just went to the restrooms. She said she passed her turn singing and whoever's next should sing. So Kindaichi, your turn," he said.

"Ah! Uh! Y-yes!"

"We won't get to listen to the alien-mermaid's sweet singing!" Yahaba whined.

Instead, they listened to Kindaichi who was so nervous and blushy, he could barely utter a word without messing it up. It was one of these rare times when they saw Kunimi smile in amusement. In the middle of the song, Kiku came back and swiftly went back next to Iwaizumi while smiling encouragingly at Kindaichi – who blushed even more in embarrassment:

"What did I miss?" She asked Hajime, leaning towards him as discreetly as possible.

"Kunimi's smile," he answered so calmly he surprised himself.

"He can _smile?"_ She continued, blinking in disbelief.

Iwaizumi chuckled, hiding his smile behind his hand. Kiku couldn't help but smile hearing the sound and the two visibly relaxed.

"Seems like the ice is broken…" Mattsun remarked.

"Yeah…" Oikawa said with a smile.

"Oikawa, your turn," Makki said, bringing the boy's attention back on the karaoke.

Oikawa sang enthusiastically, better than expected even if no one was particularly surprised – he was the closest being to perfection anyway. The team was used to listen to him humming and sometimes singing in the shower so they knew he could sing. They hadn't expected the wide gestures and passion put in the song – but once again it was _Oikawa_ _Tooru_ so they weren't _that_ surprised. Just praying he wouldn't break something in his wild gestures.

Once everyone had sung once (except the stubborn ones who just wanted to laugh at the others, like Iwaizumi and Kunimi), they took turns for whoever wanted to sing, sometimes arguing but a glare from Iwaizumi would quickly settle things. Of course, Oikawa and Makki sung most of all, sometimes joined in duets by Matsukawa and Yahaba. It quickly turned into a competition and Kindaichi couldn't stay away from trying to win and it was who would do the most passionate singing. At some point, Oikawa had taken off his jacket and had started stripping off his clothes which made Kiku turn away with blushed cheeks. When she glanced back, a few seconds later, Makki _and_ Mattsun had taken off their shirts as well for a reason she couldn't understand?

"Oi, put your clothes back on…" Iwaizumi said once the song was over, sounding annoyed.

"You're boring, why don't _you_ come singing here? Where is your competitive spirit?" Makki asked, but put back on his shirt anyway.

"I know I'm going to lose so I'm staying here." He answered, used to their teasing.

"A wise warrior knows when to fight and when to quit, something you might need to learn, Makki," Kiku intervened with a chuckle.

Hajime nodded firmly to that while the young man rolled his eyes at the new nickname she was giving him.

"Why don't you join us, Kiku-chan~?" Oikawa asked, pointing a micro to her in an inviting way, "You haven't sung yet, and we know you love singing!"

"O-oh… I-I… I-I don't know… I-I n-never…" She stammered, glancing down at her laps.

"Don't tell me you've never been to a karaoke before?" Mattsun asked with wide eyes.

"You HAVE to sing – Captain's orders!" Oikawa exclaimed with an exaggeratedly shocked expression.

Kiku hesitated and glanced quickly at Hajime who was watching her closely. He gave her a tiny, encouraging smile and nodded.

"Go, you'll love it…" He murmured, pushing her lightly.

Kiku grinned and hurried, almost bouncing to Oikawa's side, while he gave her a micro, the other third-years going to take a break and enjoy the show.

"Why don't you sing a duet? It might be less stressful for you!" He exclaimed suddenly.

"I-I don't mind…" She answered shyly.

"But I want to rest and everyone is tired after singing so much…" He continued, glancing at everyone thoughtfully as if he was looking for some victim.

Understanding that he wanted Kiku and Hajime to sing together, everyone pretended to be exhausted, even the ones who hadn't sung that much. Iwaizumi brought up his glass to his lips and blinked when he noticed Oikawa's gaze stopping on him.

"What?" He said, staring at his friend.

"Iwa-chan~! Why don't–"

"No."

"I didn't say anything yet!"

"You're about to tell me to sing with Kiku, and it's no. You know damn well that I can't sing to save my life. I'm not going to… to…"

His determined voice trailed off when Kiku turned to him. The moment their eyes met, Hajime's conviction shook and everyone held their breathe, praying they would _finally_ hear their Vice-Captain's singing voice. Hajime glanced away, pouting and feeling his cheeks heat up…

"Iwa-chan, do it for Kiku-chan! She needs reassurance… we're all tired… you're the _only one_ who can do it…" Oikawa murmured, his voice still reaching the other side of the room.

Hajime stubbornly kept his face turned away. But then, he made the mistake of glancing back at Kiku. She was smiling lightly, timidly at him, as if silently asking him to join her, her eyes shining in excitement. He growled, put his face in his hands then got up with bright red cheeks:

"Ok! But _one_ song, that's it!" He mumbled.

"YEEAAAAH!" They all shouted, standing up and lifting up their arms.

Kiku hopped happily until he reached her and Oikawa gave Iwaizumi the second micro with a big, bright smile.

"Enjoy~!" He whispered to the Ace with a tap on the shoulder.

"I'm going to punch you. Actually – if _any_ of you laughs at my singing, I'll turn you into a bloody watermelon! Got it?!" Iwaizumi threatened, looking at each and every one of his teammates, mostly the three impossible ones who had miraculously passed in their third-years without dying by his hands.

Everyone put on innocent looks while Makki chose the song, along with Oikawa and Matsukawa, all three leaning over the remoter and staring intensely at the screen.

Kiku smiled up at Hajime, glad to have this moment with him even if for once, he was the one looking shy and uncomfortable.

"Don't worry, your singing can't be worse than Makki's," she said with an earnest smile.

"EH!" Makki exclaimed, frowning at her.

But it made Hajime chuckle and he nodded, thankful that she was trying to reassure him. Just then, music started. Kiku and Hajime blushed when they recognized the song. Iwaizumi turned around and glared at Oikawa who simply lifted up his fingers in his usual peace sign. But before Iwaizumi could bark an insult, Kiku started singing, focusing on the lyrics at the screen even though she knew the song already.

Hajime felt like his heart was about to burst into flames when it was his turn and he started singing, looking away from everyone and ignoring the blush on his cheeks when he heard some snickers, knowing damn well that everyone was making fun of him and possibly recording this miracle of _Iwaizumi Hajime singing_. His voice was low and closer to a grumble than the singing of a romantic song but it was the best he could do. At least, he wasn't squeaking in embarrassment.

Hajime jumped out of his skin and the singing stopped abruptly when he tried to hold back a scream. He glanced down and saw Kiku's hand delicately touching his, as if for reassurance. Too stunned to continue singing, he stopped just as she raised the micro to continue her part, for the chorus. And it sounded so beautiful, so angelic when it was Kiku singing…

Glancing once again at her fingers touching the back of his hand delicately, he turned around his hand to take her hand in his. But Kiku pulled away and he only grasped the air. Hajime looked back at her face and wondered if she had pulled away on purpose, but her expression was so joyful, enjoying the song, that he couldn't figure out whether or not she had noticed his gesture to try to grasp her hand.

Hajime stared at Kiku for the rest of the song, feeling at peace just by listening to her angelic voice. He was supposed to sing another part, but when Kiku realized he was too busy staring at her, she took care of singing everything.

Once the song was over, Kiku and Hajime stared at each other, lost in their gazing… until the volleyball team started clapping.

"That was amazing, Akiyama-senpai!" Yahaba exclaimed cheerfully.

"Iwaizumi, that was so lame, man! You were ridiculous!" Makki exclaimed, laughing with tears in his eyes.

"O-OI! D-don't laugh!" He exclaimed, blushing in embarrassment.

"Iwa-chan has grown up so much~!" Oikawa said, tears in his eyes.

"YOU! Stop crying! Stop laughing, Hanamaki, damn it!"

It quickly turned into an enthusiastic argument and after a while, when Hanamaki took hold of the micro once again, Iwaizumi decided to get out of the room to take some fresh air. He was still too shaken up by the duet with Kiku and the way her fingers had touched his skin.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath of fresh air, the night had already fallen and he sat on a nearby bench, closing his eyes and lifting up his face to the sky.

"What am I supposed to do next…?" He muttered to himself.

"I'm sorry, I don't know…"

Hajime jumped out of his skin another time and almost climbed over the bench, blushing when he noticed Kiku standing behind him with a little smile, hands in her back.

"I-I saw you leave the room a-and I was wondering if you were… all right… I-I know you don't like singing, s-so I hope it didn't bother you… singing with me…?" She hesitated, glancing down at her feet shyly.

Hajime felt his heart go wild but he swallowed back the lump in his throat:

"N-no…"

There was a short moment where only the chirping of birds in a nearby tree was heard. A breeze shook Kiku's dress and hair while Hajime sat back on the bench so he wouldn't look like he was about to kill himself with it.

"M-may I…?" She hesitated, taking a shy step forward towards the bench.

"Y-yes, p-please," he said, showing her the place next to him.

He made sure to stare at his feet and realized that his feet were shaking nervously and his hands were fumbling anxiously while Kiku sat next to him. Close enough to feel each other's warmth, but not close enough to touch. She was sitting quietly, calmly and he glanced quickly at her, forcing his limbs to stop moving so much.

Hajime's breath got caught in his throat as he stared with a light blush on his cheeks Kiku who was smiling kindly to a couple of birds who were hoping in front of them. Wind brushed her hair away from her face and her hand quickly came up to keep her hair from hitting her face or going too wild. Hajime was pretty sure he had seen something on her neck – a long, white mark. A scar… but it had been so fast he couldn't be sure and Kiku hadn't realized he had seen anything.

"I…" She started, making him jump out of his staring, "I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me all this time…"

Kiku glanced up at Hajime and his heart sped up.

"I-it's… n-nothing, I didn't… it was Oikawa…" He answered, his voice sounding unsure, _weird_.

Kiku didn't answer right away but then, her smile grew a little bigger and she turned to him, shaking her head lightly.

"He's the one who gave me another option… but… y-you're the one who gave me a choice…" She murmured, looking right into his eyes.

Hajime stared back, stunned by her words and the way her eyes shone while looking at him… There was a moment of complete silent and Hajime realized that despite her words, he still couldn't understand what she had meant by it. He couldn't understand most of her despite their connection. Because there _was_ a connection between them, there was no denying it. They both knew it, they were both aware of each other's feelings but they kept what they had as it was to not break it. It was too precious, too important to do anything that might shatter it.

 _Open up to me. Tell me something no one else knows. Tell me what I_ _ **need**_ _to know. Let me kiss you. Let me hold you hand._ _ **Trust**_ _me_ … Were as many things that Hajime wanted to say at this moment but for once, he thought that the best answer would be silence.

He only nodded, acknowledging her words and her feelings and she smiled, going back into their quiet moment.

Hajime was lost in thoughts, mostly thinking about what he should do next concerning Kiku – should he ask her out? Should he tell her his feelings? Then _what?_ Would she return them? Wouldn't she? Hanamaki had mentioned that she didn't want to date him despite her feelings. What was stopping her? What had happened to her? What was he supposed to do for Kiku to trust him completely?

Hajime blinked when he felt some weight on his shoulder, he glanced down and after a missed heartbeat, his heart suddenly sped up at the realization that Kiku had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He stared at the girl's face, his fingers brushing hers hesitantly – partly because of the splint around his wrist, and partly because he didn't to risk waking her by moving too much… His cheeks burnt when with his other hand, he delicately pulled away a strand of hair from falling over her face. Her hair was soft and he wanted to keep sliding his fingers through it but he couldn't do that. He kept staring at her, noticing that her eyelashes were long, and just like her hair, had copper reflections. He didn't even know that eyelashes could do that but it just added to her beauty. Her lips moved softly as she breathed in and out calmly… She seemed peaceful but he couldn't tell if it was how she always looked when asleep, if the exhaustion was too much, or perhaps… perhaps it was because he was with her…

"I'm in love with you…" Hajime whispered.

His voice trembled a little, and it was higher than he intended because of his nerves and the fact that it had escaped his lips before he could control his heart or reason… he half expected Kiku to look up at him, shocked and blushing, before smiling lovingly… but she remained sleeping. Hajime let out a shaky breathe, cheek blushing, not quite sure whether or not he felt relief to know she hadn't heard his confession. He wasn't ready to confess yet – he hadn't even expected to say the little words before it had already escaped his lips to convey the voice of his heart. But he realized he didn't mind… Saying _"I'm in love with you"_ while staring at a sleeping Kiku felt good, it felt _right_ and he couldn't wait to say it again and next time… she'd be awake and he'd look right into her eyes to make sure she knew the strength of his feelings for her.

Slowly, he smiled softly and he leaned down, making sure not to move and wake her, and his lips brushed her forehead. It was the touch of a feather, a caress of comforting love, the soothing warmth of being cared for…

Kiku didn't wake up but she seemed to feel something because she smiled in her sleep and nuzzled a little closer to Hajime, falling into a deep but reassuring sleep.

 _Some time later…_

"Where have Iwaizumi and Akiyama gone to?" Matsukawa asked, glancing around as the team exited the karaoke.

"No idea, they disappeared after their song and they haven't come back since…" Yahaba answered, pulling his jacket on him.

"I'll try finding them, you guys go home safely~!" Oikawa exclaimed with a wave.

"Who are you? Their doting mother?" Mattsun asked as the first and second years saluted their senpais and left in the opposite direction.

"Nah, the team's mother is Iwaizumi," Makki remarked.

"We might have two moms now that Kiku is here," Matsukawa continued while Oikawa sent messages to his friend.

But when the sound of a phone vibrating resonated in Iwaizumi's jacket he was carrying, he realized that a phone would not be the solution to their missing teammates.

"I don't want her as my mom, she wants my death." Makki said, sounding frightened.

"Your _actual_ mother probably wants your death too, as annoying as you can be…"

Takahiro glared at Issei half-heartedly before turning towards Tooru who was sighing as he put away his phone and gave up.

"No idea where they might have gone? If I don't bring Kiku back, her _father_ will be the one killing me…" He mumbled, lifting up grumpily the girl's bag he was carrying in one hand.

"You have an awful long list of people wanting to kill you… don't you think something's wrong with you?" Matsukawa asked calmly.

"What about you– oh."

Hanamaki's probably insult was stopped when his eyes caught sight of two silhouettes he recognized instantly. Oikawa and Matsukawa turned around, the first gasping and squealing when he saw that Hajime and Kiku were sitting on a bench, her head resting on his shoulder and his head on top of hers…

"They've fallen asleep… seriously?" Hanamaki mumbled.

"They're cute, let's take pictures for blackmail," Mattsun said, already taking pictures and sending them to the entire volleyball team.

"Who is going to wake them up?" Oikawa asked, tilting his head on a side.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki glanced at him and before the setter had time to do anything, Takahiro threw him Kiku's bag in the arms and the two third-years turned around while Oikawa struggled with _his_ jacket, _Iwaizumi's_ jacket _and_ Kiku's bag in his arms.

"W-wait! Y-you're not going to let me do it on my own!"

"Make sure Iwaizumi is the one bringing her home safely!" Hanamaki exclaimed without bothering the turn around.

"O-oi! Don't leave me on my own!" Oikawa exclaimed before glancing nervously at the couple, afraid he might have waken them up, but they didn't even budge.

Matsukawa glanced at Hanamaki as they walked away, ignoring Oikawa's whining because not only he didn't want to wake them when they were so cute, but also… Hajime wasn't in the best of mood when waking up, probably even less if he was being woken up from a slumber with his one and only. It was the main reason why the two had decided to save their lives.

"You're saying you hate her but you're actually protective of her and you want them together," Issei remarked.

Takahiro huffed and turned his head away stubbornly, he'd die before admitting such a thing.

"I don't see what you're talking about. I don't care about what they'll do, these two lovestruck idiots!" He mumbled.

"Liar."

"Tch."

For once, though, Iwaizumi had been too sleepy to actually get angry for being waking up – he didn't mind waking up (slowly) when it was his clock, but when someone bothered him in his sleep, he hated that. The first thing he saw was Oikawa waving at him sheepishly while carrying all of their stuff… but then, he saw Kiku's still sleeping face and his expression softened. The fact that he was still numb from sleep and exhaustion helped a lot as well…

Hajime gently woke Kiku up and despite her cute yawning and the adorable little rubbing of her eyes, she stood up and followed the two, still too sleepy to really know what was happening. Hajime almost tripped over his feet and lost his mind completely when she held onto his sleeve and followed him around, still drowsy.

"You know, you could just take her to your home, I'm sure you mom won't mind it if you finally bring a girl back – also you'll both enjoy the night and–"

"Shut up, Trashykawa! _Pervykawa!"_ Iwaizumi hissed but his friend only chuckled at his embarrassment.

Oikawa went his own way while Iwaizumi walked Kiku back to her home, finally waking up after the sky has darkened and stars started twinkling, the two walked quietly. Hajime's jacket was around Kiku's shoulders and they were walking slowly, as if to keep the moment of goodbye as far away as possible… but eventually… they passed by Hanamaki's house and they stopped in front of Kiku's front yard.

"Thank you… for bringing me home…" She murmured with a sweet smile and sparkly eyes.

"I-it was nothing… considering your chaperone has abandoned you…" He answered, glancing at the window lit up from Takahiro's bedroom.

Kiku chuckled to his grumbling voice that hid the tenderness and kindness of the young man.

"I'm glad he did…" She whispered to herself.

Hajime looked back at the girl, eyes slightly widened, not sure he had heard very well… was he imagining things…?

But she smiled at him then moved a little, taking a deep breathe that made her rise a little on her tiptoes.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep on your shoulder… it's… very embarrassing…" She admitted with a flustered chuckle.

"I-it was fine… I… uh, I fell asleep too so, uh…" He answered awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and flushing.

"I guess we're both exhausted after this week of practice and everything that happened, uh…?" She concluded softly.

"Y-yeah… I guess…" He nodded, scratching his cheek and glancing at her with a smile.

"I-I should go…" She said sadly, glancing over her shoulder.

"Y-yeah… uh… goodnight, I suppose…?"

"Y-yes… g-goodnight a-and… I'll see you on Monday…?" She hesitated, twisting a strand of hair.

"Y-yeah, Monday… class…" He mumbled with the biggest, goofiest smile to exist.

She smiled just as brightly but remained in front of him… then, she jumped towards Hajime and touched the back of his non-injured hand, softly, tenderly, just like when she had tried to reassure him during the karaoke. She stood on her tiptoes while pulling him down a little and kissed his cheek quickly, both blushing terribly as Kiku walked away with a huge smile.

Hajime stared at her, shocked, heart so loud he couldn't hear her last "goodnight". She glanced at him from over her shoulder and he smiled even more. He started to turn away, as slowly as possible, until Kiku came back running to him, giving him his jacket before walking away once again, chuckling at her own forgetfulness…

Hajime saw her silhouette disappear in the darkness and he brought up the jacket to his face, partly to hide his red cheeks and bright smile… but mostly to breathe Kiku's lingering scent. She smelled of pastry and bread – from living in a bakery – with a hint of lemon – from her shampoo or body soap?

He took a deep breathe in, eyes closed and walking a few steps. He wobbled then fell against the Hanamaki house's wood fence. He sighed and let himself drop on the ground, jerking his head backwards and chuckling. He breathed Kiku's smell again then laughed delightfully, looking up at the stars and thanking them for giving him the chance to meet Kiku.

* * *

 _Did I mention I had loved writing this chapter? It made me feel all ~fuwa fuwa~ inside and pretty much most of the next chapters will be like that! We'll learn more and more about Kiku! ;D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : KINDNESS_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	22. Kindness

_Hello! Another chapter!_

 _ **Message** : I'm going to move out from where I live so I don't know whenI'll have internet and thus, when I'll be able to post the next chapter._

 _ **Chapter Warning** : mention of animal abuse_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Sono felice che hai piaciuto il capitolo, spero che piacerai questo capitolo! ;) É une grande passo per Kijime! :D_

 _ **Krisia** : Good weird or bad weird that you felt inside? XD I'm not sure about stopping, I mean, on mys ide, it' feels pretty good when everyone is squealing about Kijime! ;D I personnaly listened to "You raise me up" (the Celtic Woman and Lena Park versions especially) but I let everyone imagine their fvaorite romantic song! ;)_

 _ **TamashinoSuzume** : The adorableness is on overflow and will NOT stop flowing! ;) I hope this chapter was up to your expectations! ;D_

 _ **Houshikun001** : Ahah, fluff and heartwarming are the main words to describe Kijime's relationship - with "cute" as well! ;) I really loved writing last chapter, but also this one as well! ;) We have a good insight on Kiku's life! :)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : AHAH! I'm so happy you loved the chapter! There is more cute and pure moments ahead! ;) _

_**AmericanNidiot** : Well, sign me up if it means seeing Hajime in kimono. :3_

 _ **Reader fan** : I'm so happy you loved last chapter! :D Don't worry, when I'm ovewhelmed I describe things the hinata-way too! ;D_

 _ **Shy Guest** : You dream of Hajime taking off his clothes and I dreamt that I was yelling at Ushijima while instead of a volleyball competition, there was a war going on... it was weird. Your Enlgish is very well! It's the first time I can talk with someone from Poland! :D It's so great! Eeeh... I had to actually check but no, they never found out what happened exactly when Kijime went off after the bullies - they only know that they went to the cinema but that nothing in particular happened (also, Oikawa found out afte investigating that they had eaten ramen - he had asked the ramen-lady someday and she told him that Hajime and his girlfriend had dropped by so he could connect the dots)Well the ONE time we saw Kunimi smile was during the first match Seijou VS Karasuno -even Kageyama had a freak-out is part of the scar, yes. :) I'm glad you felt fuwa-fuwa reading last chapter, and I hope you'll feel like that for this one as well! ;D_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Well, Iwaizumi not shy is a lot to hope for because he loseshis mind whenever he's around Kiku! ;)_

 _ **Aquafin** : I'm updating as soon as I can, I hope you didn't have to wait too long! ;)_

 _ **sxs1000** : Ahah~ I'm glad~ I think the most confusing sentence I've ever read in English was something along the lines of "Englihs is complicated but you can get through thorough thinking though" or something XD I love the comparison of Oikawa to a radioactive rabbit! XD I always made me laugh when I read that! ;D_

 _ **Digidestined10** : Well, Iwaizumi DID confess - evenn though, Kiku was asleep and didn't hear, it's still half-way through it... Also, she kissed his cheek. ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXII : Kindness

" _Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her."_

― **Lao Tzu**

" _Sometimes people are beautiful._

 _Not in looks._

 _Not in what they say._

 _Just in what they are."_

— **Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger**

" _Beautiful is the woman who knows people, places and things don't define her. She is defined by her acts of loving kindness and a generous heart."_

— **Michael Chatman**

" _I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."_

― **Stephenie Meyer, Twilight**

" _The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."_

— **Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie**

" _How strong you are, to go through Hell on Earth, and still smile and carry yourself like you're in Heaven."_

— **Maxwell Diawuoh**

" _It's not fair. People claim to know you through the things you've done, and not by sitting down and listening to you speak for yourself."_

— **Hannah Kent**

" _Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything._

 _They make you feel so alive that you'd follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix."_

— **Karen Marie Moning, Shadowfever**

" _If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself."_

— **Nikita Gill**

 _Two years ago, during their first year at Aoba Jousai…_

 _Iwaizumi entered and quickly looked around the first-years' class three of Aoba Jousai._

" _Iwa-chan~! Wait for me~!"_

 _He ignored his friend's call from somewhere in the hall and found who he was looking for when Hanamaki Takahiro stood up, his height standing out in the middle of relatively short first-years. Hanamaki wasn't a giant but he was taller than average – just like Oikawa or another of their recent friend, Matsukawa Issei. All four were on the volleyball club and had hit it off almost immediately._

 _Oikawa came running in, several girls whipping around and gasping in awe as the setter caught up._

" _Makki!" He called happily._

 _The first-year turned around and noticed his teammates, keeping his hands in his pockets:_

" _Oi, I told you to stop calling me that…" He muttered, but he was starting to get used to it – it was almost fun how Oikawa kept giving nicknames to everyone he got close to._

" _Hanamaki, you wanna have lunch with us? Matsukawa is coming too," Iwaizumi said, pointing at the door._

" _Sure, just let me go to the restrooms first." He said, grabbing his bento and following the two._

 _As they walked past the racks for books, bags and other material at the very back of the classroom, Iwaizumi noticed a vase with a bouquet of flowers in it. Colorful tulips, adding some_ _light_ _and life to the boring classroom._

 _He stopped, most students walking by him and the tulips without glancing at it twice. Oikawa and Hanamaki stopped and turned towards him curiously._

 _Iwaizumi had noticed that in every classrooms, at every beginning of week, someone was adding some flowers. Every classroom had only one flower in a vase – except for this classroom, class three, that had an entire bouquet. He knew it was the duty of the class responsible to sometimes, if they felt like it, add some flowers or something… but someone among the first-years was putting flowers around. It was a bit of a mystery and several had tried finding out the truth behind it, but in the end the accepted rumors was that it was the "Ghost of Flowers" depositing flowers._

" _Why do you have an entire bouquet instead of one flower? Did someone add more flowers?" Iwaizumi asked, pointing at the bouquet._

 _Hanamaki seemed confused at his question then shrugged while Oikawa's eyes started sparkling:_

" _Ah! The Ghost of Flowers!"_

 _Oikawa had been particularly excited about this story and all the rumors (which was why Iwaizumi knew about it), but he was starting to calm down and the hype was getting quiet. It was now normal for everyone to find new flowers every week in the classroom._

" _No? Our class always has an entire bouquet rather_ _than_ _only one flower. Some say it's because the Ghost is from our class, but we never found out who it was. He also leaves some quotes about happiness and life and boring stuff…" Hanamaki answered, sounding bored._

 _He pointed at a piece of paper left in front of the bouquet and Iwaizumi took it to read._

" _ **Always keep your eyes open. Keep watching. Because whatever you see can inspire you."**_

— _**Grace Coddington**_

" _Oooh! I had only heard about the quotes but I never saw one! Maybe with the writing we can find out the Ghost's identity!" Oikawa exclaimed, taking the paper from Iwaizumi's hands._

" _No, it's printed." He remarked, his friend pouting in disappointment – but he still tried to find some hidden clues, "You really don't know who it might be? This ghost?" He asked, turning towards Hanamaki._

 _After all, it seemed unlikely someone would be so unnoticed by his classmates that he could leave bouquet of flowers and quotes without anyone finding out the truth…_

" _Mmm, who cares anyway?" He answered with a shrug, rolling his eyes._

 _Iwaizumi was used to_ _Hanamaki's_ _laid-back and bored personality, so he didn't push the questions. Hanamaki had probably been as curious as Oikawa but had given up the investigation – like most of the school…_

" _Let's go, I need to pee!" Hanamaki exclaimed, stepping away._

" _Do you have to say that so loudly?" Iwaizumi asked with a side glance._

" _Ah! Makki! Iwa-chan! Wait for me!" Oikawa whined, running after them after leaving the quote near the bouquet._

 _They stepped out of the classroom but Iwaizumi stopped once again, his eyes catching the sight of long brown hair that shone like copper under the sunlight. He turned around to see who it belonged to but… there wasn't anyone. He blinked then shook his head, deciding to forget it. This story of Ghost of Flowers was getting to him – and not in a healthy way._

" _Aaah~! What I wouldn't give to know the truth about the Ghost of Flowers~!" Oikawa exclaimed with a huge smile._

 _Actual time line, during their third-year…_

Iwaizumi was staring, from his seat, his cheek on his palm, at the racks at the very back of the classroom. And a bouquet of lilac flowers with a little paper with an inspirational quote printed on it.

Over the years, the rumors of a Ghost of Flowers quieted down and no one noticed the flowers and quotes left in the classrooms. It was normal and it wasn't exciting enough. Whoever was doing this little act of kindness that no one had asked for, probably wanted it to go this way. _Unnoticed_. Like a ghost.

Kind and unnoticed… Like…

Hajime turned his gaze over to Kiku as she came back in the classroom during lunch time, followed closely by a very chatty Oikawa, and Hanamaki and Matsukawa close behind. They all gathered around a few tables pushed together to eat lunch.

Hanamaki was eating enthusiastically when he noticed Iwaizumi's lost gaze towards the bouquet of flowers. He put down his chopsticks and followed his gaze, staring at it for a moment, until Iwaizumi noticed it as well and turned towards his friend:

"You knew it? In our first-year? That it was Kiku's doing?" He asked in a low voice.

"Mm… I had my doubts…" Hanamaki shrugged with the exact same nonchalant roll of eyes from two years ago.

"So you _do_ care…"

"Shut up…"

Hajime shook his head, a grin appearing on his face while Takahiro smiled as well, both knowing the truth but keeping the Ghost's identity a secret. Just like the Ghost of Flowers wished.

"By the way! Let's go to town after school!" Oikawa exclaimed – or rather, decided.

"Why?" Iwaizumi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Why not?" Hanamaki shrugged.

"Aaah… I have to meet Mari-chan after school, but she'll be busy so I'll be alone for an entire hour!" Oikawa answered sheepishly.

Mariko, or Mari-chan as Tooru kept calling her, was the poor girl who had had the bad luck of crushing on the setter and being pretty enough to catch his interest when she had confessed to him at the beginning of the school year. Iwaizumi had only met her very quickly and thought that she wasn't as dull and boring as the previous ones (Oikawa was starting to get a little bit more picky with his girlfriends and Iwaizumi wasn't sure yet if it was a good thing) and she was actually some sort of math genius (Iwaizumi thought that part of the reason why Oikawa was dating her was to get her help). But the two had busy schedules and if Mariko often proposed to her boyfriend to go out, Oikawa was focusing a little bit too much on volleyball. They had _already_ bickered about it and they had been dating for _only_ three weeks – Oikawa had whined about it for three hours at Iwaizumi's place until he invited himself for a movie and a sleepover. Iwaizumi was used to it, _unfortunately_ , as it _always_ happened with Oikawa's girlfriends. He never cut out the time for them, they got tired of his pretty looks, realized his only love was volleyball, and broke up with him – unless Oikawa had gotten tired first and was the one to end their "relationship".

Basically… Oikawa's love life was _everything_ Iwaizumi didn't want for his own. Which was why he had been so reluctant about dating until now even if he had some girls after him… Hajime didn't want to date without knowing the girl first, he didn't want to date a girl on a whim simply because she was to his tastes, he wanted to crush on her (but all of his crushes until now had had a crush on _Oikawa_ ), and he wanted to fall in love and build a real relationship.

He glanced at Kiku, flushed then focused on his bento, deciding not to think too much about the words _dating_ and _Kiku_ in the same sentence… It was too embarrassing… How could Oikawa and Hanamaki have so many girlfriends – the whole process was _so embarrassing…?_

"Also! Coach asked me to accompany Kiku-chan to buy some sports gear!" Oikawa added quickly, glancing at Hajime who instantly looked up.

"H-he didn't ask you to accompany me… s-simply to indicate to me what I should get…" Kiku corrected, embarrassed.

"Weird, he asked Oikawa and not Iwaizumi? He's more trustworthy." Matsukawa remarked.

"Mean, Mattsun!"

"Not with his niece, _no_ , he's not trustworthy with _her_." Hanamaki snorted, making both Kiku and Hajime flush terribly.

"W-what sort of sports gear do you need?" Iwaizumi asked the girl to change the topic.

"J-just some pants because in the cheering-club I had a different outfit and uncle Nobuteru would prefer that I wear the volleyball team's colors rather than the school pants…" She explained, "I have the manager jacket but the coaches don't have the pants. I told them I could go buy it on my own to not order so late something so trivial but then… _'Oikawa will give you the details'_ he had said," she continued, frowning and making her voice rougher to try to imitate Irihata.

The others chuckled at the lame imitation.

"That's how it is~ We have to accompany Kiku-chan in town!" Oikawa concluded.

"How did a couple of advices turned into all of us going in town to help her choose sports gear?" Hanamaki sighed while his chopsticks reached for Kiku's bento.

Hajime frowned at this but Kiku didn't react to it – probably used to the spiker invading her space and she was done eating her bento so she put it in the middle for the boys to eat what was left. If Makki, Mattsun and Oikawa jumped on it hungrily, Iwaizumi stubbornly ignored it because it was too embarrassing to eat something made by Kiku. The others understood and grinned at him teasingly, making him flush, making sure to give loooots of compliments about how tasty it was to make him cringe.

"Y-you don't have to… I can do it on my own… I just need the reference… I'll go in town alone, really…" She continued with a sheepish smile.

"Why do you want us away from you, Kiku-chan? Do you have a secret boyfriend to meet?" Oikawa asked teasingly.

Hajime frowned but when Kiku blushed and glanced down at the hands on her laps, he whipped to her with wide, panicked eyes. The others blinked as well, not believing what was happening…

"N-not a b-boyfriend… b-but I-I have… to meet… a friend and go somewhere…" She mumbled in embarrassment.

"Because you have _friends?"_ Hanamaki asked with wide eyes.

She kicked him from under the table and he held back a scream, falling over on top of the table while she glared at him.

"Yes, I _do_."

"With this behavior! I can't believe it!" He hissed, holding his painful knee, "How did you even reach me when I'm so far away and you have such short legs?!"

"It's not my fault _your_ legs have the length of a broom!" She replied, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing away.

"Fuck you!"

"I'd rather–…"

The boys all glanced at her as Kiku slowly blushed and bit on her lower lip, avoiding all of their gazes while she prayed for a hole to suddenly take her away from them and _mostly Iwaizumi…_

" _Not_ …" She added in a whisper.

"Pffrr…"

They glanced at Oikawa who was trying to smother his sudden laugh by covering his mouth with his hand. Not only the situation was funny but Hajime's face was _hilarious!_ Slowly, Mattsun and Makki joined in the laugh, then Hajime and Kiku chuckled as well.

From another side of the classroom, several people glanced curiously at the laughs they heard and started staring – mostly because _Oikawa Tooru_ was laughing and he was so handsome and adorable and perfect and all the girls (and a few boys) sighed at the sight…

A guy, a classmate of Hajime and Kiku, blinked then elbowed his friend before nodding in the direction of the group.

"Look… Akiyama… she's smiling and laughing…" He said, totally bewildered.

"Yeah… _it's_ …" His friend answered, taken aback by the sight.

"Refreshing…" He finished with a light flush on his cheeks, ignoring the stunned look his friend gave him.

 _Some hours later…_

The five students of Aoba Jousai exited the school grounds, unaware – or ignoring – the way a few people (mostly girls) whispered and chatted among themselves about who was the girl in the middle of the four gods of Seijou. Kiku noticed it but tried her best to ignore it, looking away and pulling at her hair to hide her face. They took the train and arrived in town quickly, finishing the few minutes of walk that would take them to the sports center of Sendai.

"We should take the opportunity of buying this month's material for the club," Oikawa remarked, "This way we won't have to come back next week-end like we usually do, right, Iwa-chan?"

"I'm on it," the Vice-Captain answered, already holding the list of material they need to buy this month.

Oikawa and Makki glanced at the list curiously, commenting on it while Kiku turned her head around and walked off to the women sports gear. When the boys looked up once again, she was already several dozens of meters away.

"How can she be so fast? I didn't notice her walking away?" Matsukawa asked because he hadn't even been distracted (just sleepy).

"We shouldn't leave her alone, she's just a girl alone in a shop," Iwaizumi said with a frown.

"She's a year older than us, remember?" Makki said, rolling his eyes at the Ace's over-protectiveness.

"Well then! I just remembered I need some strapping for my knee, I'm taking care of _that!"_ Oikawa exclaimed, taking the list from Iwaizumi's hands.

"Oi! You're the one supposed to help Kiku to begin with!" Iwaizumi barked but he was ignored.

"Mattsun! With me! Makki – do whatever you want!"

The two were already walking away, Iwaizumi rolling his eyes at Oikawa's foolishness.

"It's probably the first time he's so enthusiastic about shopping for the club – he never takes it seriously…" He mumbled while Makki started following the two, "You! _Don't!_ Leave me alone with Kiku…" He grumbled, grabbing his collar.

Hanamaki sighed but follow the Ace anyway, trying to find Kiku into the foreign and unknown world of women aisles… The two young men knew almost by heart this sports shop – but they had never put a foot in the women side and they felt out of place…

"Where has she gone you think?" Hanamaki asked while turning around to look at a girl walking by.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"I thought you were in love with her? Can't you like, sniff where she is? Follow her pheromones or whatever?" He asked.

Iwaizumi decided to not react at the stupidity of his friend, but he couldn't hold back a roll of his eyes. Just then, he caught sight of Kiku standing in the middle of an aisle full with sports pants of all sizes and shapes and sorts. Mostly flashy shades like pink or green – why did girls always wear such brightly colored sports gear? Hanamaki pretended to be blinded by it but Iwaizumi ignored him as they reached Kiku who was taking out her manager jacket to check the color.

Unlike the boys who had white pants and jackets with light turquoise lines, the manager wore turquoise pants a shade darker than the boys' and a white jacket with dark turquoise details – among them a leaf on the chest.

"It seems to be the right color," Iwaizumi remarked when she compared the jacket and pants' colors.

"I'll try it on, then!" She exclaimed, grabbing several sizes to find the best fit.

They followed her from afar as she ran excitedly towards the changing stalls. Iwaizumi and Hanamaki stood there, a little awkward because there were only a few girls around glancing at them curiously.

"…Let's go open Kiku's curtain while she's changing to embarrass her," Hanamaki suddenly said, stepping towards the stall.

"Wha– NO! You don't!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, grabbing him by the shoulder.

"You're not fun!"

"You're a pervert!"

A few girls heard that, gasped and hurried away from the two boys who glanced around with a mix of worry and anxiousness because _what if_ one of the girls went to say that two perverts were lurking around the girls' changing-stalls?

Iwaizumi immediately glared at Hanamaki and started scolding him even if he didn't listen.

Some time later, Kiku walked out of the changing stall, wearing her school uniform and blinked when she saw Iwaizumi, furious, shaking Hanamaki like a tree, who was grinning like an idiot.

"U-um…" She hesitated.

Iwaizumi froze, still holding Hanamaki by the collar, both turning their heads to the girl who was holding up the pants of her choice.

"Y-you're done already?" Iwaizumi asked.

"Y-yeah… I'm quick to take off my clothes," she answered with an innocent smile.

She stiffened as Hajime opened wide eyes and turned a bright shade of red. Takahiro turned a sly smirk to him.

"I-I mean, to p-put them back on too… I'm quick… I-I mean…" Kiku stammered awkwardly, blushing as well.

"O-of c-course!" Iwaizumi exclaimed very loudly, letting go of Hanamaki who snickered, "I-if y-you're done! Let's go find the others!" He continued, turning around.

Kiku stumbled after him, hurrying to keep up with his fast pace. They had only walked less than ten meters than Iwaizumi's phone rang. He stopped, Kiku walking into his back. They both flushed as she stepped away from him and massaged her nose, looking up at him sheepishly while he focused on his phone.

"Makki has disappeared…" She noticed, turning around but not seeing him anywhere.

 **You guys were taking too long so Mattsun and I finished already with the shopping for the club! I'm off to see Mari-chan and Mattsun is gone too~! See you tomorrow!**

Hajime clenched his teeth and the hand around his phone, knowing very well that some part of this message was a total lie and that Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki had ditched them so that Iwaizumi would end up alone with Kiku.

"TCH."

Kiku glanced up at him, a little worriedly as he threw his phone in the depth of his bag and decided to punch his friends later for leaving him _alone_ with her.

"Something wrong?" She asked hesitantly, tilting her head on a side.

" _Nothing_. We're on our own. If you're done, let's move." He mumbled because he knew that _somewhere_ his friends were spying on them and he wanted to put as much distance between them and Kiku and him as possible.

Kiku nodded and after paying for the sports pants, the two exited the sports shop. Even if Hajime glanced around suspiciously, and angrily, he didn't notice Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki hidden behind boxing bags, people glancing at them curiously.

"All right~! That's one thing that went well~! Now that they're alone let's pray Iwa-chan will make a move!" Oikawa exclaimed, clenching his fist in victory.

"Your plans are so stupid, it was so obvious you set it all up. You don't even have to see your girlfriend, I'm sure." Mattsun mumbled.

"Actually! I _do_ have to see Mari-chan~! So I'm letting you guys handle it from here~!" He exclaimed with a wave of his hand as he walked away proudly.

Hanamaki narrowed his eyes at their Captain walking away just as Matsukawa lowered his gaze on the paper in his hands – the list of material to buy for the club…

"The bastard got us…" He mumbled.

Hanamaki sighed because of their scheming Captain – without Iwaizumi, the Vice-Captain, it was on them that the shopping duty fell…

"Rock-paper-scissors?" He proposed to Mattsun to decide who would go through the whole ordeal.

"Rock-paper-scissors."

They played it but when Makki lost he sighed once again and glared at where Oikawa had been standing a moment ago.

"How about we just ignore it and give the list to these two tomorrow? They'll have to take care of it eventually and it'll serve them right, trying to use us for their jobs."

"I like how you think. Fast-food?" Mattsun proposed with a grin.

"Fast-food." He nodded.

Iwaizumi and Kiku walked for a while and when he started to feel in a less murdering mood, he slowed down and waited for Kiku who was staring at her phone with a pout on her face.

"…My friend can't make it in time today…" She told him.

"Oh…"

Knowing that they had no more reason to stay together now that all the shopping was done and that both had nothing better to do but go home, they stood there sheepishly, neither saying a thing… Hajime rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think of something to say. Kiku might feel down if her friend wasn't coming but he had no idea how to comfort her… and let's be honest… he didn't want to leave her side yet, and if he wasn't seeing what he hoped for, she didn't feel like leaving yet either…

Kiku glanced up at him shyly then seemed to have a sudden idea, blinking and hesitating. He raised an eyebrow and it was the sign for her to speak up:

"Y-you like animals, right?" She asked with a smile.

Hajime startled and flushed before glancing around nervously, praying that no one had heard. But thankfully, no one paid any attention to them… For a moment, he wondered how she knew that before remembering that he had given her a secret about going to see baby animals…

"Y-yeah…" He mumbled with a nod.

"Then! I know somewhere we can go! I-if you want… o-of course… Iwaizumi-san…" She hesitated, playing with her fingers and flushing.

He would follow her to the end of the world but he was worried his friends might follow _them_ and not only find out his embarrassing secret but _spread_ it. The teasing would have no end…

"I-it's um… it's sort of… it's like a job, I suppose…" Kiku added hesitantly.

Hajime stared at her, eyes widening a little. He had had no idea she had a job… or that it involved animals… but he wasn't really surprised. If he was going with her to her job, he had a good excuse, right? He'd just accompany her, have a look at what she does then leave her… This way, he'd learn more about Kiku, spend more time with her but he wouldn't have to worry about his secret hobby revealed…

"I'd uh… I'd love to," he said with an eager smile.

Kiku bounced happily then turned around, guiding him as they went to her part-time job. Or so Hajime thought because they went into a part of town that wasn't what he had imagined. There were less people, less shops, mostly houses or buildings and the more they went away from downtown, the more confused he was…

"Uuh… what sort of job is it, exactly?" He asked, tilting his head on a side.

He saw a group of guys that didn't seem very friendly and he was suddenly worried about Kiku going to such a place on her own.

Instead of answering, Kiku smiled to him and just then, she stopped and pushed open a door. It rang and Hajime followed, blinking when he saw the name of the place: Nippon SPCA. He didn't say a thing and followed Kiku, the familiar smell of animals of various species invading his nose.

"Kiku! How are you doing, today?"

Hajime turned upon hearing a masculine voice and saw a young man, in his twenties, leaning over a counter and smiling at Kiku. Immediately, he felt sparkles of annoyance and worry in his heart, his protectiveness towards the young girl making him frown lightly – or, as Oikawa would say 'jealousy'.

"I'm doing good, Hayato! And you?" She asked with her usual bright smile.

"Good, good! We have a newcomer since this morning, I'll introduce him to you later – but I didn't expect you to come so early…"

"I had nothing better to do so I came early, I hope you don't mind…"

"Not at all, it's always a pleasure to have you here!"

Hajime frowned a little more and he had to hold back a frown while _Hayato_ and Kiku continued talking as if he wasn't here:

"And the little buddies love you so much… I could be jealous, you know, I spend more time with them than you but they only think of you."

 _Little buddies…?_ Hajime thought, his lips pursed together in an involuntary pout.

But Kiku chuckled adorably, a little flush appearing on her cheeks. For a moment, Hajime wondered if this Hayato was this friend of hers that had made her blush during lunch… no, this friend had canceled… right? But what if he had canceled seeing her in town in order for them to meet at this job? Earlier? No, Hayato had said he hadn't expected Kiku. Then why is she smiling so much around this guy? Who is this other friend of hers? Why the hell did Iwaizumi feel so irritated?!

While Hajime was rummaging in his corner, imagining crazy things, Hayato took notice of him, glancing curiously at the high-schooler.

"Friend of yours?" He asked curiously to Kiku who blushed.

Hayato smiled in a knowing way, immediately understanding _who_ it was. But instead of teasing (for the moment at least), he waited for Kiku to answer, while she was glancing at her feet shyly.

"H-he's m-my… classmate… I-Iwaizumi Hajime…" She said in a low voice.

Hearing his name, he looked up and realized he was now stared at by Hayato with sparkling, amused eyes, while Kiku glanced at him every once in a while, too embarrassed to maintain her gaze.

 _Why… do I feel like this guy is similar to Oikawa? I don't want to deal with a number two_ … He thought to himself under the curious and burning gaze of Hayato.

"U-um… hi…" Iwaizumi greeted hesitantly, giving a sharp nod while the young man seemed to be about to burst in laughs.

"Hi! I heard a lot about you, Hajime!" He exclaimed with a huge grin.

" _Hayato!"_ Kiku squealed quickly, blushing even more.

"Ah, sorry, Iwaizumi – everyone call each other by their first name here! I hope I didn't embarrass you?" Hayato continued, totally ignoring Kiku.

"That's not the problem here!" Kiku continued, trying to look angry but her tiny fists and adorable frown wasn't enough to make either of the men feel threatened.

"It's not?" Hayato questioned, blinking innocent eyes even though it was obvious he knew what he was doing.

 _Yep… Oikawa all right… That's why Kiku can handle him so well… she's used to this type of guys…_ Iwaizumi thought, holding back a sigh before stiffening. _Wait – how even does she know this Hayato? How close they are? How long have they known each other? What if he's her boyfriend? What if she likes him? What if–_

"So! What brings you here, Hajime?" Hayato continued.

The young man startled, his line of thoughts cut while Kiku huffed and walked around the counter to put down her bag. She pretended to read a notebook all the while glancing at Hajime and listening to the boys' conversation.

"Uh, I just, I came because Akiyama… san, proposed it to me. We were in town together when our friends ditched us so…" He explained, approaching the counter.

"Do you like animals?" Hayato asked, while Kiku sent him a harsh look that Iwaizumi didn't quite understand.

"Yeah… I do…"

"You heard of us?" He continued, nodding around the room.

It was a sort of welcoming hall for people, or rather a tiny room with the doorway, the little counter that could barely contain two people behind, and another door leading somewhere else. There were a few signs with written 'Nippon SPCA' and of course, Iwaizumi had heard about it.

"I know it's an organization to protect animals… I don't know the details, though… I didn't know Akiyama-san was working at a part-time job until today and… I didn't know what it was."

"It's not really a job, I'm more of a volunteer helping out when I have some free time," Kiku answered with a sheepish smile, "I said a job earlier but… well…"

She flushed and looked down at the notebook. Hayato glanced between the two with a huge smile before speaking once again:

"Well! You're right – we protect animals. We take care of animals who had been abandoned or injured, we take care of them and try to find them a home. Even to this day, abuse of animals is way too common and unfortunately, Japanese people aren't aware of how cruel they are to the animals. Our country has poor animal welfare and rights – Japan ranks second in the world in the number of animals used in experiments…" Hayato explained with a dark expression.

He gave some more information to Iwaizumi who couldn't help but feel concerned – he had always had a soft spot for animals and even insects, he couldn't understand free cruelty to innocent beings. He had never actively tried to get information about the animal welfare and rights in Japan, or in the world (he vaguely knew about Greenpeace and some endangered species that he saw on tv but that was it) but the numbers and information Hayato was giving him were sickening.

"Nippon SPCA is a rescue system mostly acting for abused animals and for the protection of the environment. We promote social education to make sure people are aware of the right treatment of animals and what is done against them." Hayato continued, listened carefully by both high-schoolers even if Kiku knew all of it.

"This… it's great… doing all that… I wasn't aware of how messed up it was in Japan, the way animals are treated… I thought… we were more evolved than that…" Iwaizumi said, sighing a little, his heart clenching as what he had just heard.

Hayato smiled, a little sadly to him, then glanced down at Kiku:

"I'm going to introduce to you to our new buddy; Hajime, you can come as well and have a look. Most of our animals have been abused, abandoned and some are still on their way back to health. Don't be scared if they feel threatened by you, or if they don't let you approach. Of course, if you prefer staying here…"

Iwaizumi shook his head and left his bag next to Kiku's before following the two behind the door. There were bars showing animals – mostly cats and dogs – sleeping or sitting. They had cushions, little toys, space, food and water… but it was obvious they weren't happy. Some glanced at him warily, some cats hissed and some dogs walked away.

Iwaizumi wasn't violent with animals (only with Oikawa at times but he was an entirely different species) and he usually got along well with them, they loved him, he loved them and he disliked seeing traumatized animals who had done nothing wrong. They had only suffered meaninglessly because of the cruelty of humans…

While Hayato and Kiku moved to the end of the hall, Hajime stopped near some bars and crouched down to see a down who was laying on his tummy, his muzzle just going past the bars. He approached his hand hesitantly and the dog immediately rose, sniffing his hand from in between two bars then starting to lick his skin. Hajime smiled and scratched the dog behind his ears, the animal obviously loving the attention as his tail started wiggling happily.

He didn't realize when Kiku came to him and crouched just next to Hajime and the dog. She glanced at the animal then started staring at the high-schooler with a soft smile. Her heart felt warmer at the sight of Hajime's smile and his green eyes sparkling… He glanced quickly at her then some red dusted his cheeks, his smile faltering before it came back, brighter than before just to see Kiku's beautiful expression.

"He likes you…" She remarked quietly.

 _He is right to do so…_ She added to herself.

"He's a good little fellow… what's gonna happen to all of these animals?" He asked, glancing around.

Kiku approached her hand to the dog who licked her joyfully as the two gave him all the cuddles he wanted.

"Some will be adopted, like this dog. He likes people and children so he'll find a home easily. Others… are too injured, or too old and people don't want of them. Especially if they are traumatized. They'll stay here and perhaps they'll find a refuge to go to… otherwise, they'll spend their lives behind these bars. Some others are so injured and in bad shape when they arrive to us than veterinarians don't even try to save them and they end their suffering." She explained with a voice darkening little by little, "I… can't do much for any of them, unlike Hayato, I don't have the right to take care of the animals directly. He's their caretaker but I'm just here to help. So… I do what I can to help Hayato, or our little buddies, by giving them all the love they deserve and need." She explained with a soft smile.

Hajime stared at her, his heart beating a little stronger, in awe of her infinite kindness… She wasn't paid, nothing was asked of her, but Kiku was still willing to offer her free time to take care of animals in need…

"I think… that's a lot already…" He murmured, his voice trembling a little.

She glanced up at him curiously and he continued with a little, but honest smile, his gaze softening as it rested on Kiku:

"You say you can't do much for these animals but… giving them love is… it's _everything_ for them after what they've been through… It's a lot to do, and you're… incredible… amazing, so… kind and brave to do this…" He said, cheeks burning when he admitted how much he admired the young woman.

Kiku kept staring at him, cheeks blushing lightly, but then, she smiled and glanced down out of embarrassment. She sighed lightly, and her shoulders dropped a little, relieved to hear these words. Relieved to know that what she was doing was worth something, _everything_ he had said, for these animals…

After a comfortable moment of silence, Kiku glanced back up at Hajime who hadn't stopped staring at her softly… For once, he didn't have to worry about anyone teasing him for that, the only one who would know how much he liked her would be Kiku but he didn't mind it if she knew. He _hoped_ she knew how much he liked her. He prayed she realized how _remarkable_ she was…

"What is your favorite animal?" She asked in a low voice.

"I don't… have a favorite animal…" He shrugged, blinking.

She smiled then touched hesitantly his right hand – it was still covered with his splint but Kiku intentionally, delicately brushed the skin. Totally forgetting the dog who barked happily, Hajime stood up after her and followed Kiku as if she was an angel ascended on Earth – she probably was, he was certain of that. She wasn't holding his hand, but he didn't pull away his hand from her touch, it was magnetic, driving him closer, keeping them connected. Her fingers were a little cold, but so soft, he was sure he could feel the strong pulse of her heart through their skins – or perhaps it was his own heart resonating in his entire body, as if reminding him that he couldn't have enough of Kiku.

 _You like her, you're in love with her, just hold her hand and kiss her~ You like her, you're in love with her~ She's everything you've ever wanted~ You like her~ You like her~_ Was the melody sung by his heart. Who was he to deny these words? It was the absolute truth. He was head-over-heels for Kiku. He was too far gone into his blinding love and admiration for her to ever stop or think about going back…

Kiku guided Hajime to the back of the hall where there were cages for animals other than dogs and cats – he saw a few birds, rabbits, lizards and even two snakes, these ones were in special cages made of plexiglass (best not to have snakes sneaking out even if these two seemed very well where they were – he wasn't an expert on snakes but he was pretty sure they were napping).

"Look at the one who arrived today…" Kiku said.

She let go of his hand but he didn't have time to regret it because she showed him what animal she was referring to. Hajime's eyes widened slightly and, as embarrassing as it was, he squeaked as he leaned forward.

"He's so cute!" He exclaimed, flushing in embarrassment.

But Kiku chuckled and nodded eagerly, leaning down so they would be on the same level, staring at the lizard in the cage. He had sandy and brown colors and Hajime immediately noticed the little bandage around the tip of his tail.

"He was found by a woman in her garden, we don't really know what happened to him, he probably escaped from some place. The tip of his tail was injured but the veterinarian said he would be fine. Isn't he pretty?" She explained, glancing at Hajime who nodded.

"What sort of lizard is he? How old is he?" He asked eagerly.

"He's a bearded dragon, less than two months… It's probably best to let him rest for today but… you could come back to see him, if you want? That is… if he's not adopted before that but he'll have to stay with us for some time, until his tail heals…" She mused to herself.

"If he finds a good home, that's what best for him… He's so tiny…" He whispered, thinking that the tiny little thing, not bigger than fifteen centimeters could fit in his hands…

Kiku smiled and she showed a few more of her favorite animals to pet. They had gone back to the dog who loved them both, Kiku letting him go out and after a few jumps and runs around, he came back to them. Hajime and Kiku were sitting on the floor, and the dog came to put his head on top of Kiku's laps while his tail wiggled as she petted him, she was smiling softly at the animal and the dog was overjoyed.

Hajime stared for a long moment at the girl he liked so much, realizing that he had never seen her so peaceful with anyone before. She had never looked as happy as in this moment, giving love to this dog who could only love her back…

"Can I ask you something?" He broke the silence, curious despite himself.

"Mmm?"

"Why do you do this?" He asked, shaking lightly his head despite the awed smile appearing on his face, "Taking care of animals despite having a busy schedule already… that's not something high-schoolers do, erh, that's not something _people_ in general do… Is there a reason why you're doing this?"

Kiku glanced at Hajime then pondered for a long moment the question, thinking carefully about her answer. He waited patiently and just for the expression on her face when she found the answer, it was worth it. A beautiful smile appeared on her face despite a sad light lingering in her dark blue eyes.

"I love animals, and I hate seeing people mistreating them when they are innocent and so full of pure love and…"

She glanced down at the dog sprawled over her thighs, her expression turning even more tender than before as she let her fingers massage softly the dog's head…

"And animals… they never abandoned me, they only love me and I am so grateful to them for that…" She murmured.

Hajime stared at Kiku, his heart suddenly heavy at the girl's words. She said it with a smile, but her gaze held so much sadness and hurt… what had she gone through to look so sad and _yet_ , have such a bright smile?

People didn't see her, ignored her gestures of kindness. They left her alone, mistreated her, bullied her… She was so alone, so sad, so hurt by people and yet she still tried to brighten their days by putting flowers and quotes all around. She offered her help and attention to everyone without any prejudice. She had hold his hand for reassurance when she thought he was scared of the dark. The reason why she went through years of lonely mistreatment in the cheering club was because it made her _happy_ to see people's smiles and to encourage them… She had tears in her eyes when the abuse of animals was mentioned but she still took the time to come to this refuge and help these animals by giving them love…

Everyone judged her and mistreated her, but she was so pure and full of love, Hajime felt like crying…

"It's so unfair…" He breathed, his heart feeling hollow.

It was beating hard, as if trying to reach out for Kiku who glanced up at him hesitantly… Fear and hesitation flashed in her eyes before she looked down at the dog once again, seeing in Hajime's eyes all of his thoughts…

"It's not _fair_ that people don't see how kind and beautiful you are, you are _so_ …" He started, but his voice broke and he was unable to find anything else to say.

How could he express with _mere words_ the depth of his admiration and love for her?

"That's… all I have… so… If I can make people smile, or these animals happy… it makes me happy as well…" She said with a trembling voice.

For a moment, Hajime felt just as shaky as her voice because her heart was so big and she gave love and kindness so freely to everyone he was overwhelmed by the brightness of her soul… but then he realized that the reason why her voice had trembled was _fear_ … She was _scared_ of getting attached to people, to be left alone once again, to reach out only for her generosity to be used against her…

 _It's not fair… It's not fair!_

Realizing his eyes were tingling with tears, Hajime suddenly moved, partly to hide his reddening eyes, and partly to offer Kiku comfort. The comfort and love that she deserved as well, the reassurance that she wasn't alone… That he was _here_ now…

Hajime leaned forward, surprising Kiku who didn't have time to move as he wrapped his arms around her. It was a very awkward hug, with space and a dog between them, his head next to her but not daring to touch her hair or skin. He didn't dare hold her too tightly but he hoped his warmth would reassure her because she just _kept_ giving warmth from her heart but she needed love too.

 _You're not alone… you're not alone… you're not alone… you're not alone_ … Was what his heart was singing desperately, so hard he was sure she could feel the heartbeat through their light contact.

Kiku stared at emptiness for a long moment, too shocked to react, totally frozen. Hajime's hair tickled her cheek, he was breathing a little hard and she could perceive the rise and fall of his chest, his arms weren't crushing her but they were _here_ and she felt _warm and…_

Her heart missed a beat and tears filled her eyes. A sharp intake of breath shook her completely as her trembling hands rose and held onto his shirt lightly, shyly… Silent tears rolled down her cheeks, totally overwhelmed by Hajime, his _scent_ , his _warmth_ , his _kindness_ , the _attention_ he was giving her, the _love_ he was giving her…

 _Don't let go… don't let go… don't let go, please… don't let go_ … She thought to herself, not wanting this moment to end.

She wanted time to freeze so they could remain like this forever, in a cocoon of warmth and love and peace…

"I'm… not letting go of you until you say so…" He breathed, his voice so low she wasn't sure she had heard right.

But she had heard what she needed to hear and it took everything she had not to crumble under the weight of her emotions and feelings. He made her feel _so much._ So much _good_. So much. So much… _life_ … She felt _so alive_ when Hajime was here.

" _Thank you…"_ She whispered in a broken voice.

And perhaps she imagined it, but Hajime held her a little closer to him, a little closer to his warmth and heart. A little closer was all she needed to close her eyes and enjoy the moment that felt like a glimpse into eternity.

* * *

 _Concerning Kiku's outfit: we don't know Seijou's manager outfit but the "darker shade of turquoise" I'm talking about is the shade of the "RUle the court" banner Aoba Juosai has which is darker than the turquoise the boys wear. Also, I intiially imagined it totally turquoise but I saw some official products for the cosplay and among them, the Seijou outfits and there was a jacket I had never seen: white with turquoi details and a leaf where the heart is and I thought "oh, it'd be perfect for the manager! Plus, it'd sort of fit the 'canon' if ti's an official product!" You can see the jacket I'm talking about if you type on google "aoba johsai jacket" it's among the jacket we know._

 _Concerning the animal abuse I talked about in this chapter: Nippon SPCA actually exists and all the numbers and information I used, concerning Nippon SPCA and/or the treatment of animals in Japan are true (source wikipedia or the site of Nippon SPCA). I could have changed Nippon SPCA's name considering it's a real agency for a non-real fanfic but I thought it was a matter important enough to use the real name to make people aware of this sad reality. (contrary to most of the sports companies/brands I created for Sowlmate)_

 _As I said up-there, I don't know when I'll be able to post the next chapter, it might take a few days for me to have internet back, or a few weeks... The situation is a little complicated and I can't know for now. As soon as I can, I'll post though. I'll have to post another chapter on Sowlmate to share the information for the ones who don't read Quiet Voice though. I'm sorry to make you wait for a while until next chapter..._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : THE AKIYAMA FAMILY! (chapter title might change) (cute moments ahead)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	23. The Akiyama Family!

_Hey, still nto settled down but I can post a chapter for the moment. I'll try posting one for Sowlmate as well but it takes me more time to write, so it'll depend on how much I can write in time._

 _Thank you to everyone for your support, your reviews, favorites and follows! :D_

 _ **Houshikun001** : Good~ I hope the fluffiness will keep making you feel this way~ I AM OBSSESSED WITH BEAUTY AND THE BEAST SINCE I SAW IT AND I JUST LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH THE DISNEY WAS ALREADY MYFAVORITE ONE BUT THE LIVE ACTION IS SUCH A PERFECTION!_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Kiku IS pure and precious~ Aaaah~ How I wish more people could be liek her~ We need more kindness like that in this world... Thanks for your support and encouragement! :D_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Things will start accelerating between Kijime from now on, they'll be daitng ~soon~ - as in time-line soon, not chapter-line soon because theer will be lots of chapters and lots of things happening in what, in the story, is a few weeks. I konw everyone expects Hajime to have a sudden rival but... as interesting it'd be... it wouldn't be very interesting - he'd trust Kiku, and she only has eyes for Hajime and turning it into a love triangle... so cliché. They WILL have to go through some hardhips, like every couple, but it'll always be just the two of them~ (and their friends but it's a different rrelationship so)_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Spero che posso ti sorprendere, ah ah! Hajime sa che Kiku è il "ghost of flowers" è il più importante. Non perchè Hajiame SA, ma perchè lo capita da solo. Mostra che posso capire Kiku come nessuno. Hanamaki è un po differente perhè l'ha conosciuto per anni. Ci sono ancora una volta animali in questo capitolo! ;)_

 _ **.To.L** augh : You have no idea how much your review shook me in the best way. Trying to make people be aware of prolems of the world is one of the reasons why I'm writing - of course, I mostly want you all to have a good time. But the fact that you mentioned in your review the awareness about animals' cruelty is... it made me very happy that it reached you. And I hope it reached other people. :)_

 _ **Reader fan** : No love triangle with another classmate, ah ah ^^" Like I said earlier to pinkdoughtnuts, it'd be cliché and uninteresting. A love triangle (even square) WILL be in Oikawa's future story, though. Even if a classmate or anyone was interested in Kiku, no need for Iwaizumi to give a long talk - a long glare will be enough to scare him off... XD Hayato knows Hajime from what Kiku tells him and he knows she's in love with him. ;) _

_**GeminiRose** : Thank you so much for your review! :D It made me very happy, I have a smile so big my cheeks hurt! :D Thank you for your support for both stories and I hope it won't disappoint you in the future! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXIII : The Akiyama Family!

" _Do not think I am forgetful of you. You would not believe me if you knew how often you are in my heart & mind. I love thinking of you."_

— **Katherine Mansfield, "Letter to Virginia Woolf," August 13, 1919**

" _There's a beautiful thing that happens inside you when you care about someone."_

— **Unknown**

" _The funny thing about introverts is once they feel comfortable with you, they can be the funniest, most enjoyable people to be around. It's like a secret they feel comfortable sharing with you. Except the secret is their personality."_

— **Unknown**

" _And if I seem a little strange_

 _Well, that's because I am."_

— **The Smiths**

" _Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day._

 _It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them."_

― **John Grogan, Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World's Worst Dog**

" _It may be a cat, a bird, a ferret, or a guinea pig, but the chances are high that when someone close to you dies, a pet will be there to pick up the slack. Pets devour the loneliness. They give us purpose, responsibility, a reason for getting up in the morning, and a reason to look to the future. They ground us, help us escape the grief, make us laugh, and take full advantage of our weakness by exploiting our furniture, our beds, and our refrigerator. We wouldn't have it any other way. Pets are our seat belts on the emotional roller coaster of life – they can be trusted, they keep us safe, and they sure do smooth out the ride."_

― **Nick Trout, Tell Me Where It Hurts: A Day of Humor, Healing, and Hope in My Life as an Animal Surgeon**

"Oikawa! Enough! You're going to hurt yourself!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, leaning on the side of the gymnasium.

Almost everyone was already gone but Oikawa was still jumping and serving, stubbornly ignoring the glare Iwaizumi was sending him, slowly growing more intense and threatening.

"Just a few more, Iwa-chan!" He said while Kiku walked back from the material room after a quick check-up.

The moment Hajime noticed the young girl glancing curiously at the restless Captain, his entire focus was on her and Oikawa forgotten.

Realizing that Iwaizumi wasn't glaring at him anymore, Tooru turned around, confused because he was expecting the Ace to have left – but instead, he was staring with hearts in his eyes at Kiku. Tooru glanced between the two then smirked, deciding to thank Kiku later for distracting Iwaizumi from scolding him any further.

"What are you still doing here?" Kiku asked as she neared Iwaizumi, "Everything is done and everyone gone…"

Instead of answering, Hajime pouted and nodded towards Oikawa serving once again. She smiled to the Ace and patted his arm for good luck before exiting the gymnasium.

"Make sure to turn off the lights after you've left." She said with a smile.

"S-sure…"

He watched her leave before seeing from afar in the hall Hanamaki starting an argument with the girl – as per usual…

"Have you forgotten we're supposed to go to Hanamaki's tonight? You're the one who said you wanted to watch this movie all together…" Iwaizumi spoke up, turning once again towards Oikawa.

"Makki is still in the shower!"

"No, he's not, he's done, and _you_ should be in the shower as well."

"I finish this cart of balls! Until it's empty and I'll stop!" Oikawa exclaimed.

Iwaizumi sighed then rolled his eyes. He pushed himself off the wall and while the setter was serving, Iwaizumi grabbed the light, and half full cart. With one hand, he lifted it up and made sure all the balls would roll out of it. Hearing the sound of rolling balls, Oikawa turned around with wide eyes as Iwaizumi put down the cart with a stern look.

"There. _Empty_. Now go get your shower."

"Iwa-chaaan!"

After some convincing that involved balls slammed at the back of his head, Oikawa went to take his shower while Iwaizumi was putting all the balls in the cart to lock everything. Because of his hand he couldn't use, it took him longer than expected and by the time he found Hanamaki and Matsukawa, Oikawa had joined them and they all started moving towards the bus that would take them to the neighborhood where Hanamaki lived.

"Where is Kiku?" Iwaizumi asked, turning around with the hope to see her.

"Gone already, for a long while now, she left on her bike," Makki answered with a shrug.

Hajime didn't say a thing but the others smirked at him teasingly:

"Disappointed? You won't see your girl until tomorrow…" Mattsun started.

"I'm fine," he mumbled with a frown, annoyed by their constant tormenting.

"Oh! We could ask Kiku-chan to join us tonight!" Oikawa exclaimed, jumping in front of them with his arms wide open.

"EH?! Oi! It's _my_ home! Don't invite her for me!" Hanamaki hissed, "Also! One girl with four boys?! Her father will never let this happen – heck, my _parents_ would never let this happen!"

"If your parents knew the number of girls you bring in your room, they'd be terribly disappointed, Makki," Oikawa said with a smile.

"Want me to share with _your_ parents the number of girlfriends _you_ had?!"

Oikawa startled guiltily because if his parents knew he was dating (often), he never talked about the girls to them, and heavens forbid even introducing her to them. They didn't like that, they thought he was fooling around – which Iwaizumi agreed to, but Tooru tried to keep his adventures unknown to his parents.

"It's too bad, though, we'll be right next to Kiku-chan, it'd be a missed opportunity…" Oikawa sighed, bringing the topic back on the main problem.

They all glanced at Hajime who startled and blinked.

"Oi… why are you staring at me like that?" He asked in a low voice.

"Sorry, buddy… you won't get laid tonight," Makki smirked, making the others snicker.

"O-OI! D-don't! YOU!" Iwaizumi started, blushing a bright red.

"You still haven't shared with us what happened when you were left together the other day?" Matsukawa continued, leaning towards Iwaizumi who blushed even more.

"N-nothing in particular, I told you…" He mumbled, glancing away.

They stared at him with teasing smirks and he knew that he wasn't fooling them but he was too stubborn to share anything. They would never stop teasing him. Also, it felt too intimate… Hajime had had a view into Kiku's life and personality like no one else had, she had opened up to him enough to show him how she was helping animals at the refuge… She had let her walls down just enough to let her sadness and loneliness show, and for him to comfort her – it proved she was trusting him a little more. It felt like an incredible accomplishment. A huge step forward in their relationship – whatever it was at this point. More than friendship, more than a crush, but they weren't dating… Hajime wasn't quite sure what they were and what they could become, but he was too embarrassed to ask Kiku anything. It'd mean acknowledging _outloud_ his feelings for her, confessing to her in some way and he wasn't ready yet… Plus… he still didn't know if Kiku was willing to date _him_. She had told Makki she didn't want to date anyone and especially not Hajime, but it wasn't because she didn't like him… So _why?_

They arrived at the bus stop and noticed Kiku's bike, so she was already home. The boys walked into the Hanamaki house, greeted by Takahiro's mother before they all went up into his bedroom. It was a little tiny with four people, but they were used to spending time all together outside of high-school and practice.

Hajime eyed the window, knowing that Hanamaki was spying on Kiku from here. He must have stared for a long moment because Takahiro smirked and opened the window, leaning forward.

"Oi! What are you doing?" Iwaizumi asked, standing up at once to stop him from spying.

"Too bad, she pulled her curtains – you're really out of luck! Just the day you come and she closed it all!"

"It's enough with this already!"

"Is this music we hear?" Oikawa asked, leaning against the window as well – it was starting to feel cramped up with four big boys aligned there.

"Kiku's, she always listen to music very loudly. If we don't hear music, then we can hear her singing." Hanamaki explained.

"Y'know… I'm thinking but with the two windows open, it's close enough to put a ladder in between and send Iwaizumi in," Matsukawa said.

"OI!"

But they ignored his scream, eying the distance – about three meters. It _really_ was close and Hanamaki and Akiyama's bedrooms were right in front of each other.

"Takahiro! Boys!"

They turned around towards his mother who smiled. If Takahiro didn't show anything, the others had the decency of looking a little sheepish at being caught possibly spying on the neighbor – or rather, Oikawa looked sheepish, Matsukawa looked too bored to care and Iwaizumi blushed terribly, already trying to find someway to explain it.

"Go buy some desert at Akiyama Bakery for tonight's dinner," she said, giving her son some money.

"Great," he smirked.

She left the boys and while Iwaizumi was breathing in relief, the three others glanced at each other with a familiar, mischievous light in their eyes. They looked back with teasing smirks at Hajime who startled under their gaze.

 _A few minutes later…_

Akiyama Nanami looked up when the bell of the bakery rang happily and four voices greeted her.

"Takahiro-chan!" She exclaimed the others snickering with side glances at the tall boy who flushed in embarrassment.

"…Akiyama-san…" He started, approaching the counter.

Nanami looked over at the other boys, recognizing all of them. Issei-chan was coming often along with Takahiro-chan, and she recognized Tooru-chan and Hajime-chan from that time they had run here.

"Your mother already came to get the bread," Nanami told Takahiro.

He rubbed the back of his neck with a polite smile before continuing:

"I know, I'm coming for desert. We're having a movie and sleepover tonight," he explained, pointing at the group of boys behind him.

Tooru gave a peace sign with a big smile but Hajime slapped the back of his hand, the two starting a low-voice banter behind while Takahiro continued talking to Nanami-san:

"And so, we're here for desert and also, eeh… y'know since Kiku is our manager now, we saw she was here and we thought that perhaps, we could visit her? If you don't mind?" He asked.

Hajime – who was _not_ aware of this part of the visit – stopped glaring and scolding Oikawa and turned wide eyes towards Hanamaki who had to bite the inside of his cheek to not laugh at the face he was currently making.

Nanami blinked, glanced at every boy and especially Hajime who startled and flushed under her gaze before looking back at Takahiro with a sweet smile.

"Of course! I'm so happy that Kiku finally has some friends she can trust and bring home!" She exclaimed, starting to walk around the counter.

"I wouldn't trust _some_ of us, arhem," Issei added, coughing to cover his whisper while Hajime threw him a scandalized look.

Because even if Issei had meant _Iwaizumi Hajime,_ the latter felt like answering that the _real_ dangerous one here was the one that Nanami was trusting the most: _Hanamaki Takahiro_.

Nanami guided them towards a back door leading to stairs and while Makki and Mattsun discreetly high-fived, the second one slapping the first one's hand in his back, Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa's collar and pulled him down.

"Ageeh!" The Captain screamed, almost falling off, the uncomfortable feeling of being strangled making him look up at Iwaizumi.

"What's the meaning of this?! We were supposed to just get the desert and go back to Hanamaki's house! _Why_ are we going to see Kiku?! We didn't warn her!" He hissed, making sure not to be heard by Nanami who was discussing light-heartedly with Issei.

"That's the funny part, Iwa-chan!" He whined, getting away from his friend's grip, "Someday, you'll thank us for that!"

Iwaizumi glared at him hard enough to make Oikawa fear for his life the moment Nanami wouldn't be here anymore.

They arrived in the family living-room/dinner room space, with what seemed to be the kitchen at the other side. Hajime couldn't help but slow down when he noticed pictures on a table but he didn't have time to see closely that the others were continuing to the other side for a hall leading to the bedrooms.

"It's been so long since you visited Kiku in her room, Takahiro-chan!" Nanami continued as they got closer to the faint sound of music, "I was afraid the two of you didn't get along as well as when you were children…"

"Naah, we get along _so_ great," he said through gritted teeth, the others smirking at his _obvious_ lie.

But Nanami didn't catch on it or ignored his words as she stopped in front of Kiku's bedroom. There wasn't anything to distinct her bedroom's door to the other rooms except the sound of music that was obviously loud. Nanami knocked and called for Kiku a few times before sighing with an amused smile and entering. The four boys tried to have a look, a little taken aback when they saw Kiku dancing crazily in the middle of her bedroom. She hadn't heard a thing and when she turned around and saw her mother, the door open and the _four boys_ grinning at her, she freaked out.

Kiku jumped out of her skin and screamed (loud enough to cover the music _and_ make everyone flinch) and she grabbed the nearest thing she could get a hold of: a big book. Then she threw it across the room, simply out of reflex of defense of her territory. Thankfully, it avoided Nanami who had entered but hit Issei right in the face, making Kiku herself startle and cover her mouth to stifle her scream of shock and panic.

"Kiku! How many times have I told you to _not_ have such loud music? You can never hear when we're coming in!" Nanami scolded loudly, turning off the stereo that was letting the music out.

"Waah… she's a screamer…" Takahiro complained, rubbing his ear.

Then, he blinked and threw a teasing smirk towards Hajime who only glared at him, silently threatening him to _not_ utter another word. Issei massaged his nose and Oikawa took the book in his hands after it had landed on the floor.

"They've come to visit you! Welcome your friends properly! Have fun everyone!" Nanami exclaimed as she pushed in the boys in to close the door.

The four turned to the girl who was still frozen in the middle of her bedroom, hands over her mouth, her expression distorted in shock and panic because the _four boys – and among them the one she liked – had entered her room while she was dancing like an idiot!_

"Waah, it hasn't changed since we were kids…" Takahiro hummed, walking closer and looking around.

Except Hajime, they immediately felt at ease and started exploring the girl's bedroom curiously, even though they were keeping their hands off her stuff – for _now_ …

They all looked around closely: a bed pushed against the wall under the window, a desk, shelves with books and dvds and the stereo and on the other side of the room… Hajime didn't have time to look twice or rejoice about that fact that he was in Kiku's bedroom that the others' mayhem started.

Kiku startled out of her shock and finally started screaming:

"W-wh-what are you doing HERE?!" She exclaimed, turning towards Hanamaki who was probably behind it.

"Visiting you, be grateful we're gracing you with our holy presence," he answered without blinking, "You're back to eating more chocolate than you can handle? You're gonna gain weight again." He continued when he saw a tablet of chocolate laying on her desk.

He took a square to bite but Kiku jumped to pry the chocolate away from his hands, dying in embarrassment. She threw it into her desk drawer then pushed it close violently.

"That's _not_ what I was asking! What are you doing _all_ here?!" She continued, whipping around to stare at the others.

"It's Wednesday," Issei answered as if it explained anything.

She gave him a confused look all the while angrily ripping from his hands the car toy he had picked up.

"You're still playing with children toys? I thought you were older than us?" He mocked.

"Shut UP!"

"Wednesday is movie night!" Oikawa explained.

"Not in _my_ room! I don't know how you all ended up here but go back to where you come from!" She shrieked as she put down the car toy back on the ground.

"So _mean_ , Kiku-chan~! You really want us _all_ away…?" He continued, wiggling his eyebrows and glancing over to Hajime.

She blushed but the Ace didn't notice any of this as he had been looking anywhere _but_ in Kiku's direction.

"Never thought you'd wear that under your uniform!"

They all turned towards Hanamaki and Matsukawa who had opened her wardrobe and shamelessly opened the drawers in it. They were playing with her underwear – especially the lacy or naughty ones.

"W-wh-what!" She hissed.

Hajime blushed but was unable to tear his gaze away from the pink lacy panties and the (big) black bra the two idiots were playing with. The impossible duo snickered as Kiku ran to them, Oikawa laughing happily in their back. She tried to get her panties and bra but they lifted up their arms and she was too short to reach. She kicked Hanamaki's shin and with a yell of pain, he fell forward. She snatched her underwear (Mattsun surrendered before she'd kick him too) and quickly put everything back in her drawers before slamming the doors of her wardrobe close. She whipped around, cheeks a bright red while she leaned against the doors. A murderous aura was surrounding her as she glared furiously at the two boys who weren't even blinking at this – they were used to _Iwaizumi's_ anger, they weren't _that_ impressed. Though, they had to admit they didn't think she'd have it in her – or that she'd have such a powerful kick.

"Y-you! YOU!" She started, unable to find an insult strong enough for these two.

" _Assholes!"_

Blinking, the four boys all turned towards the other side of the room… And saw a big cage with two birds, and another smaller and empty cage. The cages were partly covered with sheets – which was why they hadn't caught onto it right away.

One bird was white with some yellow feathers on top of its head, he was balancing on a bird swing. The second was smaller with green feathers, its tummy and front greyish and the tip of his wings blue. Both birds were looking at the four boys with a mix of curiosity and mockery.

"I'm sorry?" Oikawa hesitated, blinking in disbelief.

The white bird balanced himself from one side to another and opened its beak once again:

" _Assholes! Assholes!"_ He repeated cheerfully.

Kiku blinked as well, totally stunned before speaking up, forgetting for a moment that her teammates were here and watching the whole scene with wide, stunned eyes:

" _Barnaby!_ I never taught you this word! Where does this come from?! Is it dad again?! He keeps teaching you bad words!"

The bird – apparently called Barnaby – made a squeaking noise that sounded a lot like a laugh. Kiku then turned towards the others with a pout:

"I'm so sorry, he's always so rude to strangers! And I don't know where he learned this word…" She continued, muttering to herself with a frown.

No one dared say a thing to this but then, Matsukawa jumped on top of Hanamaki, screaming in a not-so-manly way before adding:

"WHAT THE FUCK! It _moved!"_

Both Mattsun and Makki went to hide behind Iwaizumi while Kiku walked over to a little pile of clothes at the bottom of her wardrobe. It was moving but then, a little snot escaped from under the tshirt and Kiku was quick to join her little friend:

She lifted up the tshirt and delicately took in her hands a… hedgehog. The brown little animal quickly settled in her hands and made a tiny sound that she _apparently_ managed to interpret:

" _Congratulations!_ Not only you woke up Kyuu, but you scared him too!" She scolded, but keeping her voice down to not scare her pet.

She walked towards the small and empty cage and put 'Kyuu' in it, making sure he was well settled before turning back towards the four boys.

"…Are there other living things in this room we should be aware of?" Makki asked hesitantly.

"I wanna go home… That thing scared the fuck out of me…" Mattsun added, slightly trembling.

"We heard that," Iwaizumi mocked, glancing behind him at the young man.

"You'd be scared too if clothes started moving suddenly after a bird insulted you!"

" _Assholes, assholes~!"_ Continued to happily sing Barnaby.

"So, you have pets?" Iwaizumi asked instead with a smile, approaching Kiku, "I had seen marks on your forearms but I didn't know what type of animal had caused them."

"Aah… that's my birdies, they used to have some trouble controlling the strength in their claws when they were on my arms… Pip is still a little scared to fall off – these two can't fly because of an injury on their wings… which is why I took them in." She explained.

Hajime glanced quickly at Kiku, guessing that these three pets had been taken in by the girl from the refuge… She smiled to him, confirming he had guessed right – for this short moment, with this knowing smile, they felt like sharing a secret no one else would ever have access to.

Then she continued speaking to the four young men. Matsukawa and Hanamaki had approached Kyuu, watching up-close a hedgehog for the first time while Oikawa was grinning at the two birds who were showing off to him.

"Let me do the introductions," she started giving every boy's names who didn't really react to it because they didn't see the point of being introduced to birds (but Oikawa waved at the cage anyway, earning a suspicious and unimpressed look from the green bird), "The white and yellow bird who acts like Oikawa-san–"

"Eh!" The setter exclaimed, frowning.

" _Eh! Eh!"_ The bird imitated him, actually sounding offended as he hopped from one side to another.

"The resemblance is troubling," Iwaizumi commented.

"Is a sulfur-crested cockatoo! His name is Akiyama Barnaby, or 'Birb'! Both can't fly because of an injury when they were younger. But Birb manages to get around, he got used to it and he has the personality of a show-off but he's a nice bird."

" _Barnaby Birb! I am Barnaby!"_ The bird introduced himself, bowing his head several times to the boys.

"The green one who is sulking in a corner is Akiyama Peppermint 'Pip' – his species is a Quaker parrot. He doesn't like strangers, especially men. He's got a bit of a bad personality but if he likes you, he's the most adorable bird to be – but I'm the only one who can touch him…"

She opened the cage and Oikawa and Mattsun instinctively walked away. Kiku calmly put her hand in the cage and Birb happily hopped on her hand before she took her arm out of the cage, the bird walking over her forearm to reach her shoulder.

"I'm not asking you if you want to come, Pip?" She asked the bird, leaning forward.

The bird, unhappy that his mommy's attention was shared with _four_ _men_ , looked away before turning around completely.

"You could at least say 'hello'…" She sighed.

Pip turned his head and looked straight at the boys before opening its beak:

" _Hello_ _,_ _idiots_ _,"_ he greeted before going back to his initial, sulking position.

"That's one nasty personality you've got there, Pip," Oikawa commented but the bird ignored him.

"Do you not know where he learned _'idiot'_ as well?" Makki mocked, raising an eyebrow.

"No… this one is my father's doing. Dad taught him to greet every boy who would approach me by saying _'idiot'_ … I'm sorry…" She sighed, shoulders dropping a little.

"Why am I not surprised?" Matsukawa asked, rolling his eyes.

Birb went on Kiku's shoulder as she moved to the last cage:

"The hedgehog is the last one arrived in the family! Akiyama Kyuupid, 'Kyuu'! He's a little lazy during day-time but he's cute and affectionate."

As if on cue, the hedgehog turned around and opened his mouth a little, as if yawning before going back to his sleeping position.

"I knew you had birds, but I had no idea you had a hedgehog as well…" Hanamaki commented, tapping lightly on Kyuu's cage, the girl slapping his hand much the way Iwaizumi usually did with Oikawa.

"He arrived recently, and I don't like taking him outside… He was found injured after being hit by a moto… I think that it stresses him when he hears cars honking or sounds of the street…" She explained, Birb perfectly at ease on her shoulder.

"Wait – you _knew?"_ Iwaizumi asked, turning away from Pip to stare at Hanamaki.

"Well, yes, these birds are her pride and joy. In spring and summer, she takes them outside and let them play in the garden. Also, she sings for them and–"

"For someone who pretends he doesn't care, you know an awful lot about Kiku and her birdies." Mattsun remarked, Makki sending him a sour look.

"Of course I'm proud of them! I _raised_ them! They're like my babies!" Kiku explained as she walked towards the car toy.

She put her hand next to her shoulder for Birb to climb on her hand then she put him into the toy car. Almost immediately the bird settled and with his beak, he pressed on the steering wheel which made the toy advance forward. Oikawa lifted up one leg before the bird could drive on his foot, Kiku watching her bird tenderly.

"He can drive… your bird can also drive?" Tooru hesitated, amused and in awe at the capacity of the little animals.

"He's a _very_ intelligent bird," Kiku said, looking almost offended Tooru had _ever_ doubted her bird's capacities.

"If they're your babies, it explains your bird-brain," Makki mocked, grinning at Kiku.

A pissed off look appeared on her face and she glared up at him.

"You can be such an asshole, seriously!" She hissed before turning away from him.

" _Asshole, asshole!"_ Birb sung happily as he was driving around.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa stared at the bird driving around – he could only do straight lines but as soon as he'd hit an obstacle, he'd get off the car, push it around (it was apparently light enough) and going back on to continue his driving.

"…I have a feeling I know already but do you and Kiku ever argue from your windows?" Matsukawa asked his friend.

"Yeah."

"Does she call you an asshole?"

"Yeah."

"…I think I know where he learned this word…" Mattsun whispered to him, making Makki roll his eyes.

A few minutes later, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were both sitting on Kiku's bed while she was giving some fruit to Birb. Noticing their gazes, she turned to them and handed the cut apple to Oikawa.

"Do you want to feed him? He'll love you if you do that," she explained.

"Uuuh…"

Before the duo could say anything, Kiku made Birb go onto her hand and she leaned down towards Iwaizumi's, her hand close to his shoulder.

"Don't move to let him be stable," she said in a hushed voice while he froze.

Birb didn't seem to mind being on another shoulder. He turned around, Hajime leaning his head away when the bird's tail feathers almost hit him in the face. He lifted up his arm awkwardly and didn't dare move too much while Kiku settled between him and Oikawa. The setter was too happy to feed a bird to notice the way Hajime kept glancing at Kiku, a flush on his cheeks.

Kiku's leg was touching Hajime's and she leaned closer to him to make sure Barnaby would be fine, she put her hand on Hajime's shoulder blade to reassure him but it made him startle. Birb opened his wings to get stable and threw what was the bird-version of a glare before turning his attention back to Oikawa who was feeding him. Hajime glanced over his shoulder and behind the bird's body, seeing Kiku close to him… so close he was suddenly very aware of her perfume of lemon covering the smell of Barnaby on his shoulder.

"By the way, are you the one who chose their names?" Makki asked Kiku while Mattsun was filming Hajime's staring and embarrassment.

"Yes, why?" She asked, glancing up at them.

Somehow it made her inch even closer to Hajime and he stopped breathing, staring at her and totally forgetting he had a bird on his shoulder – Birb was still busy eating everything Oikawa was giving him and because Kiku wasn't paying attention, he was getting more than his usual treat (he was happy going unnoticed by his mommy in this situation).

Takahiro snorted then smirked teasingly at the couple with a bird in between:

"Please, don't choose the name of your future children… Let Iwaizumi do that!"

Both Kiku and Hajime blushed terribly at that, frozen in shock at his words and embarrassment filling them.

Not getting his fruit portions anymore because Oikawa had emptied the stock by now, Birb turned around and seemed to notice whatever was going on between Iwaizumi and his mommy because the bird flopped down on Iwaizumi's legs. The young man startled, his attention back on the bird because he was scared he had fallen – but Birb had done it on purpose.

" _Dada, dada!"_ He piped, walking around on the boy's thighs.

"B-Birb!" Kiku exclaimed, turning even redder than before..

Hajime was lost, not knowing what to do with his hands and the bird on his legs calling him 'dad' while his friends were laughing so much they were holding their stomachs.

"Barnaby! What– are you!"

Kiku reached for the bird but by doing so, her body and especially her breasts pressed against Hajime's side and arm. He startled, almost screaming but Birb jumped away and out of Kiku's hands, flapping his wings to stabilize his landing. It had the unfortunate consequence of Kiku's hands landing, instead of around Birb, on Hajime's thighs close to his crotch – TOO close because he reacted at once. Hajime screamed and jumped up but he hit Kiku who rolled off her bed and on the floor.

"A-AAAGH!" He shouted, cheeks red.

"IYAA!" She screamed when she hit the floor.

She moaned after the harsh fall, Birb running behind Hanamaki's legs while Hajime was staring down at the girl at his feet.

"K-KI! Kik…. _Kyama!_ Akiyama! Are you all right?! I am SO sorry I didn't mean to make you fall!" He exclaimed, leaning down to help her up.

"Fall in love with you~" Oikawa hummed form behind, making them startle once again.

"Too late…" Kiku muttered after a stunned and embarrassed pause, rubbing the back of her head.

Hajime froze, not sure if she had answered to him or Oikawa… he decided it was to _his_ sentence and not Oikawa's teasing – his mind would blow up if she had said that after the _'fall in love with you'._

Hajime helped her up and Kiku – after running after a particularly playful Barnaby who was _more_ of an attention-seeker than usual with a public – put him back in his cage with a still sulking Pip.

After the crazy events of the end of the afternoon, the group of boys decided to leave the Akiyama Bakery – mostly because Hanamaki and Matsukawa were hungry and wanted dinner. Kiku accompanied them downstairs to give them the desert of their choice (she discreetly added some individual cakes after she noticed Hajime eying some) then they left.

Hajime hesitated before glancing over his shoulder at the girl watching them leave.

"Eh… I'm sorry that we arrived unannounced and out of blue… it might have ruined whatever you had planned to do tonight…" He apologized, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I-it's fine… I was shocked at first but… I had lots of fun…" She said with a soft smile, "Ah, and sorry for the um… _touching_ earlier… it was unintentional…" She mumbled hesitantly with a blush on her cheeks.

"I-it's fine, I didn't mind…" He answered with a blush of his own.

She glanced up at him, blinking as he froze realizing how _twisted_ his words sounded.

"I-I mean!" He started, moving his hands around in a panic.

But Kiku chuckled and he calmed down – but his heart didn't… They stared at each other for a moment before he continued rubbing the back of his neck and glanced down at his feet almost shyly.

"A-also… next time we have a Wednesday movie… it'll be at my place… you could join us… if you want…" He mumbled, "O-of course! We'll leave you in my bedroom so you can sleep in peace a-and we'll go in the living-room, o-or Oikawa's bedroom considering he's my neighbor o-or…!"

Stumbling with his words and explanations and praying he didn't sound like a total pervert because he had just invited the girl he likes in his _bedroom_ (but his intentions were pure), Hajime went silent, holding back the urge to bite down on his lower lip in embarrassment.

Kiku stared at him before smiling – her beautiful, earnest smile she only showed to him…

"I'd love to! T-though… it'd be even better if we don't have to be separated…" She added to herself.

Hajime blinked not sure he had heard well. A deep blush crept on his cheeks and he tried to cover up his joy at her answer but an awkward, way too enthusiastic and unmanly chuckle escaped his throat:

"G-great!" He exclaimed.

They both hesitated until finally, he turned around to follow the others. Before he could disappear, he glanced over his shoulder and waved a little at Kiku who waved back with a soft smile and tender gaze… He smiled and walked towards the Hanamaki house, staring at the girl until she was out of sight… Then he sighed and his shoulder dropped, all tension disappearing to leave the euphoria…

"You guys are so _sweet_ it's disgusting me…" Makki mumbled with a roll of his eyes, leaning against his fence.

"Y-you heard…?" Hajime hesitated, mortified that his friends had heard not only his unintentional innuendo but also the proposition he had given Kiku – especially considering he had half-hoped she would come when the others _wouldn't_ … but now that they knew…

" _Everything_ ," Oikawa said with a huge smile, "Is it finally a date~?" He continued teasingly, winking at his friend.

Hajime froze and opened his lips to deny but… he frowned to himself in slight confusion… he _had_ invited Kiku to watch a movie with him, at his apartment, with the intention of being just the two of them… was it a date? But she thought that, not only the others would be here, but that it'd be as friends? Did it count? If they ended up alone, would it _become_ a date?

He glanced up at his friends who sighed with little smiles when they understood his confusion.

"Ah, well, I guess it's a start, _whatever_ it is…" Mattsun sighed.

"Can we go eat now? I'm hungry!" Makki whined as the four made their way to the Hanamaki dining-room, already smelling the delicious dinner.

* * *

 _I don't know much about birds so I apologize to bird-owners if I miswrote anything when it comes to behavior and personality. I tried watching videos to have an idea of what it's like, but it's never the same as a real-life experience... As for Kyuu the hedgehog, they are more active at night which is why he was sleepy there! ;) I just wanted some fluff with mommy Kiku and her birdies. :)_

 _I don't know when I'll be able to post the next chapter - both concerning Quiet Voice AND Sowlmate... Unfortunately, as you know, I'm moving out... plus there will be finals soon... and I have to find lots fo stuff for this summer and next year... T.T_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : SECRETS AND DENIAL (I lovedwriting this chapter and I'mimpatient for you to read about it mostly because we learn more about Kiku and her best friend from chapter ...2? we had quickly seen and it'll make things accelerate and MOSTLY IT INTRODUCES OIKAWA'S STORY. sort of.)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	24. Secrets & Denial

_I'll post Sowlmate's chapter tomorrow and here is the one for Quiet Voice! :)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **Houshikun001** : There is some tiny bit of fluff in this chapter, but mostly... a view into the characters, perhaps? You know what I just came back from watching once again Beauty and the Beast and I loved it even more! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Ahah, there are some more animals very quickly in this chapter! ;) I hope you'll love this chapter as well! :)_

 _ **Krisia** : When I was looking for inforomation about birds, I had the urge to adopt one but well, not for now! XD No one iwll ever manage to get Makki to admit he cares for Kiku, he'll die before that, ahah... x) (I'm so sorry I keep forgetting to call you Krisia! ")_

 _ **Redninjalass19** : I'm glad I wrote the birds well! :D I'll keep in mind that fun fact you hsared with me! ;) I hope I won't disappoint you with the Oikawa and Kuro stories, so many people wait for these, it's making me nevous! /_

 _ **LuxKlara** : (sorry if I answer to you in English but it's almost 2am and I'm dead tired) I'm so glad you liked last chapter! I love writing abotu the birds, and I'm so proud of their names! XD Yeeees, definitely lots of animals in their future house... so many, Oikawa will go there and spend moer time with the tiny farmhouse/zoo/Jurassic Parc that Iwaizumi an Kiku will be left alone to watch him being an idiot... XD Both - veterinarian and taking back the bakery - are options Kiku considers. But she dislikes the sight of blood, organs, injury or hurt animals... if she were to cry everytime an injured animal came to her, she woudl'nt be a very effective veterinarian (the gods forbid ever having to tell that the animal is dying and having to give it the needle to let himr est in peace... she'd break...) The matter of orientation post high-school will start being mentioned in the next two chapters (moslty centered around Hajime)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : I'm glad you found them cute, btu when are they not? :) I hope you have a good time on holiday! :D_

 _ **Reader fan** : Someday Kiku might just show up at his place (address given by Oikawa or a helpful Makki) and Iwaizumi will lose it because "holy fuck Kiku is in my bedroom, what do Ido? What do Isay?Is there anything weird in my room at the moment or anything? Holy fuck, I'm not breathing, I can't think, what's happening?!" Oikawa would probably spy on the whole thing but another room of the Iwaizumi apartment. She DOES know about Kiku's feelings for hajime - she'll mention it in this chapter! ;) _

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXIV : Secrets & Denial

" _You're getting older, and you'll see that life isn't like your fairytales. The world is a cruel place. And you'll learn that, even if it hurts."_

— **Pan's Labyrinth. Dir. Guillermo del Torro**

" _You never have to say "I love you" in order to love someone."_

— **Unknown**

" _How beautiful to find a heart that loves you, without asking you for anything, but to be okay."_

— **Khalil Gibran**

" _Because what's worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?"_

― **James Patterson, The Angel Experiment**

" _Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow."_

― **J.M. Barrie, The Little Minister**

" _There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."_

— **Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss**

" _I thought about how there are two types of secrets: the kind you want to keep in, and the kind you don't dare to let out."_

― **Ally Carter, Don't Judge a Girl by Her Cover**

" _The best way of keeping a secret is to pretend there isn't one."_

― **Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin**

" _Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love."_

― **Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov**

" _Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it."_

― **George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones**

" _You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another."_

― **Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises**

" _There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened."_

― **Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency**

"Damn you, Trashykawa!" Iwaizumi grumbled as he checked that he had everything on the list for the club.

The two had been supposed to go buying the material for the month but the moment they arrived in town, some acquaintance of Oikawa interrupted them and after a few minutes, he told Iwaizumi to go ahead. Hajime had thought that a few minutes later, Oikawa would catch up with him but it had been over forty minutes ago – the setter had probably taken the opportunity to ditch him.

He was in a particular bad mood because he had been forced to go shopping but it had meant interrupting the music he had been listening to – music Kiku had sent him so he could listen to it but he couldn't enjoy it fully while in town and constantly putting on and off his headphones for the sake of being polite. He couldn't think as much about Kiku as he wished.

Once done with the shopping list, Hajime decided to walk around town. Perhaps he'd walk into Oikawa. Or into something interesting… it wasn't long until he received a message from Oikawa.

 **Iwa-chan! I'm looking for you everywhere! Where are you?!**

Iwaizumi sighed, tempted to tell him he was home already but he wasn't mean enough to do that and gave him his location. While Hajime walked to the meeting place, he went into a bookshop for some notebooks he needed for school. He was walking towards the checkout when he stopped and stared at a table covered with fancy school materials – notebooks, pencils, pencil cases… All colorful and with meaningful sentences written with pretty drawings. It was the sort of things that Oikawa fancied. But what had attracted Iwaizumi's gaze was the very simple, totally black notebook with a single sentence written in white and in English:

" _For all the things… I can't say outloud_ …" He murmured to himself in his native language, hoping he got the translation right.

He stared with narrowed eyes at the notebook. He grabbed one and took one step to the checkout before stopping and grabbing a second one. Once he exited the bookshop, he glanced down at the two copies of the same notebook he had bought.

"Iwa-chaaaan!"

He startled and quickly let the notebooks drop in the bottom of his bag just as Oikawa arrived next to him, unfortunately, he had seen the notebooks.

"What did you buy?" He asked curiously, leaning to take a hold of the notebook but Iwaizumi slapped his hand away.

"Nothing for you, I needed notebooks for school. I'm running out of pages." He answered frowning.

Oikawa stared at his friend curiously while massaging his hand, pretending it hurt more than it actually did. Something told him that there was something else than regular notebooks in this bag. Not only Tooru had seen that it was with a black, glassy cover – too fancy for his friend – but his reaction was particularly strange.

"Mmm…" He murmured thoughtfully.

"How did you find me, anyway?" Iwaizumi asked, giving one of the bag he was holding to his friend – he was the Captain of the volleyball team and if he didn't take his responsibilities he could _at least_ help carry the bags.

"I was at the other side of the street when I saw you enter the bookshop, by the time I arrived you were exiting already." Oikawa explained, pointing at the direction he had come from.

"Let's go home," Iwaizumi said, already advancing forward.

Oikawa followed, talking about this classmate from Kitagawa Daichi he had talked with for far longer than he had intended. Iwaizumi glanced around absentmindedly and froze completely. He suddenly whipped around and grabbed Oikawa by the shoulders, dragging him in the closest back street until they were both hidden behind trash cans.

"I-Iwa-chan! What the!" He exclaimed, offended to be treated so roughly so suddenly – for _once_ he didn't even deserve it!

But before he could ask anything to Iwaizumi, the Ace covered his mouth and glanced at the street all the while remaining hidden. Oikawa stopped struggling when he saw Kiku walking by with some girl… The two girls hadn't noticed them and as soon as they were away, Hajime sighed in relief and let go of Oikawa before approaching the street and observing from afar Kiku walking away.

"It's Kiku-chan, why don't we–"

"No."

"I didn't say anything yet!" Tooru whined, earning a light glare from his friend.

"I know what you're going to say and it's _no_ , we're not going to bother her today. She's with someone already, let's not make ourselves known."

Tooru rolled his eyes with his hands on his hips before speaking up again:

"You're just being a coward! You can't even face the girl you like without being prepared for it! It's _ridiculous!_ You'll never get anywhere with her if every time you have an opportunity to spend time together, you run away!" Oikawa exclaimed, sounding scolding which didn't fit him at all.

Iwaizumi huffed and ignored him, turning to look at the retreating figure of Kiku once again.

"Yeah, I won't take any lesson from a guy who's never even fallen in love…" He murmured.

He hadn't meant to sound mean, and he didn't even realize it but it made Tooru almost wince, feeling a little hurt by Hajime's words and his lack of trust. It took him a second too late to actually come up with a reply:

"Because pining from afar and hiding in the middle of garbage is _so much_ more effective!" He mocked, earning a glance from Iwaizumi, _"At least_ take a lesson from the guy who _has_ dating experience!"

Before Iwaizumi could reply, Oikawa went out in the street and called loudly:

"Kiku-chan!"

The one who first turned around actually was Kiku's companion, glancing over her shoulder suspiciously and blinking in surprise to see Oikawa, followed by a sheepish and embarrassed Iwaizumi. Then, Kiku turned around, blinked and flushed upon seeing the Ace:

"Iwaizumi-san!" She exclaimed when they arrived to their level.

"H-hey… how are you?" He asked with a shy smile.

"I'm the one who greeted you first, Kiku-chan," Oikawa remarked with a slightly forced smile because he wasn't used to feel invisible.

"Ah, sorry! Oikawa-san! It's nice to see you too! What are you doing here?" Kiku asked eagerly, quickly turning to the setter before looking back at the Ace.

"Just some club shopping," he explained, raising his bags, "We were just about to–"

"Go have a drink!" Oikawa piped up excitedly, attracting everyone's attention on him, "Right, Iwa-chan? We were about to go have a drink when we saw you and… your lovely companion here."

He turned a charming smile towards the girl, taller than Kiku, rather pretty and of athletic built, who stared back at him, unimpressed.

"Oikawa-san, it's been a while," she said with a polite smile.

"Way too long to my tastes, Yuu-chan~!" He continued.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at the blatant flirting while Kiku glanced between the two, confused.

"You two… know each other?" She hesitated, tilting her head on a side.

Oikawa turned to her to answer:

"Sato Yuuna, yes! She is the Captain of the volleyball team from one of the girls' top four teams of Miyagi!"

"Oikawa-san and I spent a lot of time whining about the fact that we _never_ seem to win against the big teams we're up against – Niiyama High for me and Shiratorizawa Academy for him." Sato added with a sigh.

"Oh…"

"Why don't you both join us to have a drink?" Oikawa asked cheerfully the two girls with a wink.

"I don't think…" Sato started before glancing at Kiku.

Her voice trailed off when she saw the blue-eyed girl glancing very quickly at Hajime from the corner of her eye, a flush appearing on her cheeks. Yuuna smiled to herself before turning back towards the two boys.

"Why not? If you're up for that, Kiku…" She said, glancing once again at her friend.

Kiku flushed and glanced down at the ground, playing with the trap of her bag before nodding, trying to not appear too enthusiastic but her lips turned into a joyful grin at the idea of spending time with Hajime.

"It's settled then! Let's go!" Oikawa exclaimed happily, taking the lead.

After a few steps, Oikawa and Sato pulled ahead so they could leave Hajime and Kiku together to talk.

He glanced at her quickly, noticing a little braid in her hair. She glanced up and he looked away, but they were both smiling.

"They… seem to get along well…" Kiku remarked, glancing at her two friends.

Yuuna was chuckling at something Oikawa had just said, the latter smiling proudly of the result.

"Mm, I've never met Sato before, I had only watched one of her match when we were in our first-year. From what I understood, Oikawa and her talked this day and since then, he's had a bit of an obsession with her."

Kiku looked up worriedly at Hajime, suddenly afraid for her friend. Understanding her worry, Iwaizumi quickly spoke up again to clear up the confusion:

"Ah! Not like that! Not _that_ sort of obsession! Oikawa is a lot of things, mostly annoying, but he's not a creep! He's very respectful of women! It's just that Sato and Oikawa have a lot of common points – both setters, they've both played for years against the same team they want to beat but they always get crushed by the power of the Ace…"

"Niiyama's Ace… seems more… _approachable_ than Ushijima-san…" Kiku said thoughtfully but Ushiwaka was too scary and tall for her to even _think_ getting within a thirty meters radius.

At the mention of his rival for years, Hajime frowned lightly.

"Yeah, well, doesn't change the fact these two are so damn strong. And _tall_ …"

"Ah, it's true that many players of Niiyama are taller than you, right?" Kiku continued.

A low growl escaped Hajime's throat and he looked away, making Kiku startle, suddenly afraid she might have hurt his feelings…

"…Yeah, they are." He mumbled, unable to deny this fact.

Knowing that girls were taller than him was so annoying – _especially_ when everyone around, on _his_ team, kept growing _taller_ and he was stuck seven millimeters from 180cm. _Seven millimeters…!_

"Y-you're still… v-very tall… a-and, y-you're much more muscular…" Kiku said hesitantly.

Hajime glanced at her then flushed, looking away when he noticed the flush on her cheeks.

"Mm… um, y-yeah… Also… Sato is the only girl who ever rejected Oikawa – he asked her on a date several times but she always refused. He keeps saying she's playing 'hard to get' but I just think he's just not her type."

"It's strange… Yuuna never told me anything about that… I didn't even know she knew Oikawa-san…" Kiku continued thoughtfully, glancing at her friend curiously.

"A-and… you and Sato, how… do you know each other? You seem pretty close?" Iwaizumi hesitated.

"Ah… Yuuna is my best friend!" Kiku exclaimed with a smile, "We've met at a volleyball training camp years ago – I was only accompanying uncle Nobuteru at the time, but Yuuna and I became friends very quickly and we spend almost all of our time outside school together!"

Hajime glanced back at Kiku then smiled upon seeing her joy just talking about her friend. When he had first met her, he had assumed she didn't have any friend – and it was the case at _school_. Classmates, the cheering club… everyone treated Kiku so cruelly at worst, as if she didn't exist at best… But knowing that despite all of these terrible persons, she had had someone to rely on all of these years was comforting.

"Are you coming or not?" Yuuna exclaimed with a smile, waving at the two from afar.

The four took some drinks and spent a good time together, everyone enjoying the moment. Then, they all went to a nearby park because Kiku had to feed the ducks there like she did every week. Of course, Tooru had to join and the both of them were near a pond where ducks had gathered. Either because they had recognized Kiku or because they knew food was coming. Kiku was explaining to Tooru what food to give ducks – not bread, it was bad for them and explaining how to give it to them while Hajime decided to go sit on a nearby bench. He was keeping a watchful eye on Kiku and his friend to make sure the latter wouldn't do anything crazy when Yuuna suddenly arrived at his sides, sitting down and staring at him so intensely he couldn't ignore it.

Feeling uncomfortable, he glanced at her curiously:

"What is it?" He asked, trying not to sound rough.

"…You look grumpier than what Kiku told me. She talks about you all the time, you know. Hajime-this, Hajime-that… she never shuts up…" Yuuna stated.

Hajime flushed but then, an idiotic smile appeared on his face:

"She talks about me? She uses my first-name?" He asked for confirmation.

Yuuna chuckled at this then sighed, glancing back at Kiku and Tooru laughing.

"I wanted to thank you for a while now, for taking care of Kiku and not leaving her alone. She told me everything you did for her since you've become classmates and I'm thankful you two ended up on the same path, _finally_ …" She said with a soft smile.

"I-it's… it's normal…" Hajime answered, glancing down at the grass at his feet in embarrassment.

There was a moment of comfortable silence with only the laugh of Kiku resonating – a lovely sound that warmed their hearts.

"Oikawa… is a nice guy…" Yuuna said suddenly, a smile still on her face but it seemed a little more distant than before.

Hajime raised an eyebrow at that before shrugging:

"Yeah, I suppose he is. As far as narcissistic idiots go."

"You're saying that but you admire him more than anyone – I know because Kiku told me so," she mocked with eyes twinkling mischievously.

He huffed and rolled his eyes, a playful smile appearing on his face:

"Don't let him know that or he'll never shut up about it…" He sighed.

"I'm sure you know but he kept asking me out on dates – he's very persistent, isn't he?"

"You have no idea…"

"Today, he hasn't yet, though." She continued, now staring curiously at the setter.

Hajime glanced at her and hesitated before speaking up again:

"If he were to… what would you say?"

"Still no, why would I change my answer?" She asked with a laugh.

"People change, their feelings change." He answered before blinking and glancing at Kiku, "Perhaps Oikawa hasn't asked you out today because he has a girlfriend and even if he charms everyone around… he doesn't want to hurt her and he respects her."

"If he's happy with her, then I'm glad he finally found someone he likes." Yuuna said with a smile.

But she dropped it when Hajime chuckled and shook his head.

"He doesn't _dislike_ her, but I wouldn't say he _likes_ her… it may sound stupid from someone like me who never had a girlfriend, but Oikawa knows _so much_ about people and yet, he had never fallen in love. He knows about flirting and dating but he has no clue when it comes to love…" He explained.

Yuuna stared at him, a little stunned by this revelation before glancing back at Oikawa from afar. He was smiling so much, he was always happy and joyful and he had a natural charm that drew people in but it also meant that he had so many people around him that he didn't have _a one and only…_

"It's… actually kinda sad…" She noticed, earning a strange look from Hajime, "Loved by everyone but not by _the_ one… it sounds… _lonely_."

Hajime blinked before glancing at Oikawa and back at Yuuna. If there was one word he wouldn't use to describe Oikawa it was 'lonely'. He always had so many people around, he always had a girlfriend no matter how fickle he was in his relationships. It wasn't like he had never had a crush or liked anyone before, Oikawa had always… he had always…

Hajime glanced down, realizing that no matter how much he tried to remember, his friend had never admitted _once_ that he had fallen in love, or had liked anyone. It had never been more than a crush. He knew that Tooru had never loved but… there must have been some point in his life when he felt love, right? There was no way someone like him could live seventeen – almost eighteen – years and never feel the slightest bit of love for someone? Or… could it be that Tooru had kept it a secret from him?

 _No. No way, he wouldn't keep such a secret from me. If anything, he'd brag about it day and night… or… would he…?_

He knew better than anyone than whenever Tooru was serious or scared about something, he kept it to himself – it was what had happened years ago when Kageyama had appeared and threatened to overshadow Oikawa with his natural talent. It was what happened every year when they had to face Shiratorizawa and Ushiwaka. If Oikawa had ever been serious about a girl… about anyone, he'd… probably keep it silent. Silent from everyone and silent from his best friend.

Yuuna observed closely Hajime then, realizing he hadn't been aware of all this about his best friend until now, her lips fell open in shock.

"…I thought you two knew each other? That you were best friend?" She asked, sounding doubtful.

"…So did I…" Hajime murmured to himself, blinking because he felt as if the man standing a few meters away, the one he had grown up with, suddenly was a stranger.

"How can you think you understand him at all if you don't even know about his love life? How can you _not_ talk about that with your best friend?"

"Do _you_ talk about who you like to Kiku?" He replied, sounding irritated.

Yuuna stiffened and didn't reply right away. She glanced at Kiku then back at Hajime, frowning lightly:

"I don't get to receive lessons from someone who can't even understand his best friend. If you're not aware of your closest friend's feelings, I'm not going to let Kiku be with you. In the long run, you'll hurt her and I don't want that for her." She declared firmly.

There was a moment of hesitation in Hajime's eyes before he frowned lightly and straightened up, an annoyed, challenging light appearing in his eyes:

"Are you saying you won't let us be _together?"_ He asked, sounding almost threatening, "What right do you have to decide of _our_ relationship?!" He exclaimed before realizing he had raised his voice when he shouldn't have.

He glanced quickly at Kiku and Tooru but they were still too absorbed with feeding the ducks to realize the tension slowly rising between Hajime and Yuuna.

"No, I won't! How can I trust Kiku's heart to you when you don't even know what you're going to do? For her, for your best friend, for _yourself?"_

Before he could reply anything, she stood up abruptly and stared down at him:

"You're saying that Oikawa doesn't have a clue about what love is – but so do you!" She exclaimed before turning around and joining Kiku.

Hajime stared at Yuuna, mouth hanging happen and even if he was angry at her words and the fact that she believed she had any word to share in his and Kiku's relationship… Doubts seeped in. Not only he wasn't sure what to think about Oikawa, _his best friend's_ feelings, but… what if Yuuna was right? He had never fallen in love before, he had never dated, he had no idea what he was doing or what he should do when it came to Kiku. How was he supposed to know what love was?

When Kiku and Yuuna said they would go home, Oikawa insisted on walking them home. Kiku was too happy to spend more time with Hajime, even if he seemed a little lost at the moment. Just like when they were walking earlier, both Oikawa and Sato made sure that Hajime and Kiku would walk together to have the opportunity to talk.

"…I heard you have a girlfriend… at long last." Yuuna started, sounding a little mocking even if she knew that Oikawa had had girlfriends before.

"Aaah~ Are you disappointed because you missed your chance with me, Yuu-chan~? I'm so sorry~" He said with an easy-going smile.

She shook her head at his stupidity but then, Tooru slowed down to a stop, turning to her with a surprisingly serious expression on his face:

"I truly mean it. I know that all these times I've asked you out, I've been very persistent and it probably made you very uncomfortable, so I'm sorry for not listening to you the first time you said 'no'." He said, his voice not ringing of the usual light-heartedness Yuuna usually heard.

Surprised, she turned to him completely and raised a curious eyebrow:

"I forgive you but… what a change. I hadn't expected this from you, Oikawa… what made you realize you were just fooling yourself and that you and I would ever work?" She asked, honestly curious about what answer he'd give her.

He seemed to think about it for a while, glancing around until his gaze landed on Iwaizumi and Kiku who were discussing with happy smiles.

"I realized that there was something missing," he started, looking back at Yuuna, "Something in the eye or the heart, a sparkle, an excitement, _something_ … that makes a relationship worth it. It has just never existed between us, no matter how much I tried to convince myself it was the case."

Slowly, Yuuna smiled and put her hands in her jacket's pockets.

"I'm glad you realized that but… you're wrong. There is no excitement in love, there is only peace. And it's not _something_ you should look for – but _someone_ … and I think you… might have already found this person… am I right?" She continued softly.

Tooru stared at her with wide eyes, looking totally thunderstruck by her words. But when she mentioned 'someone' his mind immediately flickered to the _one person_ he was trying _not_ to think about. Too frightened by what it meant, he chuckled but it sounded forced and unnatural:

"I… don't see what you mean, I have a lovely girlfriend waiting for me! I have this… one person with her!" He exclaimed with a forced smile.

Yuuna smiled in a knowing way before glancing back at Hajime.

"You should tell your best friend how you feel because he's starting to doubt himself as a friend. You don't want your best partner out of shape just before the Inter-High, do you?"

Oikawa blinked and glanced at Iwaizumi before sighing.

"He may be our resilient Ace but Iwa-chan is more fragile and tender than he appears to be… no one notices, not even himself but he's not as confident as he should be."

"Someone noticed, though," Yuuna said with a shrug, "That's why she likes him, after all. Because he's more than he appears to be."

Both glanced at Kiku who was watching Hajime with eyes filled with admiration and love, her eyes sparkling with the _something_ Oikawa was looking for.

"It was nice catching up with you today, Oikawa," Yuuna said with a smile.

"Can I ask you why you've told me 'no' all this time? I wasn't your type? Or is it because you already like someone?" He asked curiously, tilting his head on a side.

Yuuna flushed and smiled, glancing down before nodding softly. Oikawa couldn't really blame her for rejecting him so many times if her heart was already taken…

"I wonder who is the lucky one…" He mused to himself.

"I think you know." Yuuna answered with a sad smile.

Then, she turned to stare at Kiku and the realization hit Tooru so suddenly there was a short moment when he couldn't breathe. The sparkly eyes, the flush on her cheeks, the softness in her gaze as Yuuna stared at Kiku… he had been _so_ blind, it had been _so_ obvious. It was the exact same way Iwa-chan looked at Kiku and the way Kiku looked at Iwa-chan…

But Tooru smiled tenderly, watching from afar the couple-to-be. Kiku was _obviously_ not aware of her friend's feelings for her… it must have hurt Yuuna _so much_ – hearing for as long as she's been in love with Kiku that Kiku was in love with someone else. And yet, she never left Kiku's side, she never stopped supporting her when she was going through something difficult and now, even if Kiku and Hajime's love was _finally blooming,_ Yuuna was still supporting them. Because she loved Kiku so much that she only wanted her happiness.

Tooru frowned lightly, opening his lips to speak up once again:

"Earlier, you and Iwa-chan… you argued… didn't you? Did you fight for Kiku-chan?" He asked, sounding almost teasing.

Yuuna's lips turned into a thin line and she frowned lightly.

"Not really. I think he misunderstood _why_ I am so protective of Kiku… it's just… I've known him from what she's told me for years and it was such a wild contrast from what I… what _everyone_ knew of Seijou's Ace and I'm worried for Kiku, you know… He's not… he doesn't appear to be a kind or soft person and I don't want Kiku hurt. But… I don't know what I was expecting, that he'd show his true self – the parts of himself that Kiku loves even to a stranger like me? That he really wasn't the tough Ace everyone takes him to be?"

"But you know he isn't like that, right?"

"I know, but today I just found out that… he barely grasps the concept of love – even less wrap his mind around the fact that he's in love with Kiku and what he should do about that…"

Yuuna paused, frowning lightly and swallowing hard as if it hurt her to say these words – it probably hurt like hell:

"If they're happy together, then I'm fine but… if he doesn't know how to treat her well after what happened to her… how could I possibly trust him with Kiku's heart?" She continued, shaking lightly her head.

Tooru hesitated before frowning as well:

"Wait… _what_ happened to Kiku-chan exactly?"

Even if he knew something must have happened to her, he didn't know _what_ exactly and as far as he knew, Iwaizumi was just as lost as him.

Yuuna seemed just as thunderstruck by that because she blinked at Oikawa.

"You mean… you don't _know…?_ I thought… I had assumed that she had opened to you… _both_ of you…" She asked with a little voice.

Oikawa shook his head no but Yuuna looked away, lips thin and a worried frown upon her face.

"Now that explains why she hasn't confessed yet…" She mumbled to herself.

"Yuu-chan, I know I shouldn't ask you this of you but, what happened to Kiku-chan? Is it something… _grave?_ Something she wouldn't talk about even to Iwa-chan? He's the person she trusts most on the team, she loves him so why…"

His voice trailed off when Yuuna shook her head to interrupt him:

"You don't get it, do you… It _is_ because she loves him that she _can't_ … listen, Oikawa, you want these two together, right?"

"…Yes?"

She turned to him sharply, a serious expression on her face that made him understand that she _wasn't_ joking.

"No matter what, make sure Iwaizumi _doesn't_ confess. Not yet. I'll make sure Kiku tells him the truth before it's too late but if he confesses before that then _she'll_ … they might never have a chance together. You _have_ to tell him to not confess until… he'll _know_ when but, make sure to tell him that? Got it?"

She wasn't saying any of that because she was in love with Kiku and _definitely_ didn't want to encourage her rival but for the sake of Kiku's happiness… for _both_ of their happiness, she was asking this of Oikawa. Whatever had happened to Kiku… it might be worse than Oikawa had initially thought.

 _Have I been right to push Iwa-chan to fall in love with her at the beginning of the school-year, after all…?_

"Got it?" She repeated, impatiently.

"Y-yeah… I'll tell him that…" Oikawa nodded, a little taken aback by the events that kept taking him by surprise.

Yuuna seemed reassured just a little, but enough to worry even more Oikawa. He swallowed hard but then, Kiku turned around and smiled.

"Yuuna! Le's go! We still have to go rent the dvd to watch tonight!" She exclaimed.

"I'm coming!" Yuuna exclaimed with a smile so bright it was hard to believe she was heartbroken and smiling to the girl she liked but didn't like her back.

Oikawa followed and even if there was just a few minutes during which the boys accompanied the two girls to the neighborhood where they were safe and sound, his silence was enough to make Iwaizumi glance at him curiously. They waved goodbye, Yuuna sending one last hard glance at Oikawa to remind him of his duty before she followed Kiku. Before disappearing, Kiku glanced at Hajime one last time then turned with a bright smile towards Yuuna.

"Hey… you're okay there?" Iwaizumi asked when they went down their bus some time later, "You've been awfully quiet since you talked with Sato. Something happened? She rejected you again?"

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa called suddenly, stopping just a few dozens of meters from the apartment complex where they lived, "You have no intention of confessing to Kiku anytime soon, right? As in… by tonight or tomorrow soon?" He asked.

Hajime was so taken aback by the sudden question that he barely felt flustered by the question itself.

"Uuuh… no? I don't think so?" He answered hesitantly, glancing around awkwardly.

"Good, keep it that way! I'll explain to you tonight when I get home!" Oikawa exclaimed suddenly, turning around and running off.

"Wait! Where are you going?! Oikawa! OI!" Iwaizumi called, not understanding what just happened.

Oikawa turned around just before the corner to scream his answer:

"I just remembered! I have to go see Mari-chan! I'll see you tonight!"

"What…?" Iwaizumi muttered as his friend disappeared.

He had wanted to talk to him about what had happened with Yuuna… what the hell did she tell Oikawa to turn him into such a weirdo? Not that he was usually sane, but this behavior just took the cake… Also… Hajime didn't have anyone else to turn to and ask questions about _his_ trouble caused by Yuuna… He was confused about Oikawa's feelings and _mostly_ , he was confused about what he was supposed to do next…

" _Confessing_ … uuh…" He whispered to himself, cheeks suddenly burning.

Oikawa had sent a message to his girlfriend, Marika, to tell her he would visit soon. The moment she opened the door, his arms surrounded her body and made her waver backwards.

"T-Tooru!" She exclaimed, blinking in disbelief.

"Your parents aren't home?" He asked in a hushed voice, a little out of breath after his running.

"N-no, but why did you suddenly send me a message saying you needed to see me?" She asked.

"I…"

Tooru closed his eyes and swallowed hard, glad that she couldn't see the expression on his face.

"A friend of mine told me to think of… _someone_ … and…"

 _I should have thought of_ _ **you**_ _… why didn't I think of_ _ **you**_ _…?_

"And I thought of you…" He breathed, hoping the tremble of his voice would pass for emotion and not the shame of lie.

 _I miss her… Why do I miss_ _ **her**_ _?_

"I miss you." He finished, putting his lips against her ear and feeling a shiver run up her body as she clutched to him, probably just as shocked to hear these words from him as he was to lie so openly to his girlfriend.

He had never lied to his past girlfriends, they knew he was with them for their bodies just like they were with him for his looks. But… he _didn't_ want of this fear, this possibility that _his_ _someone_ might be the _last_ person he wanted to… to l-like… He couldn't, it was just… _impossible_ , even for _him_ , it was so… so… SO RIDICULOUSLY STUPID.

 _ **Why?!**_ Was all he kept thinking while his girlfriend kissed his lies away, believing these words had been for her even though, for the entirety of the time they spent together this evening, the face of another haunted Tooru.

* * *

 _So we learn about Yuuna, we know that Kiku is keeping secret what happened to her, and as I had said, this chapter was a bit Oikaaw-centric with the whole "he never had a one and only" and the ~her~ he thought of is his future lady in his future story - it was a way to introduce her through him even if we won't, theoritically, meet her until the actual Oikawa story (but there is a chapter in Sowlmate where she appears very quickly)_

 _I hope you enjoyed it! ;)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : MUTUAL INSPIRATION_

 _Don't hesitate tot tell what you thought! ;)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	25. Mutual Inspiration

_Like I've said on Sowlmate's last chapter, I apologize for not posting earlier this chapter but I didn't have internet and couldn't work onn the chapters about the Inter-High. I'm in a finals moment so I don't know when I'll be able to post again + I might go on an archeologicla site soon which means, no internet. I'm sorryfor not posting regularly... :/_

 _Thank youf ro everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D Over 300 followers and 250 favorites and reviews? It's a blessing! :D THANK YOU!_

 _ **AmericanNidiot** : You posted the review right as I posted last chapter! I'm glad you liked the scene with the birds! :D I loved writing them, and I'll write more of their little adventures! :3_

 _ **Krisia** : Once the InterHigh is done, the mystey will be lifted, don't worry ;) Just a few more chapters :) Ahah, I'm glad you liked Yuuna being gay! :D Diversity is important! ;) And as for the mystery lady Oikakwa ~has a crush on~(he doesn't want to admit it might be more than that) she won't appear in this fanfic (probably) but has appeared very quickly in Sowlmates in the chapter of the Miyagi InterHigh AND she willl be, obviously, the main OC of the future Oikawa story. Last chapter was a bit to introduce Tooru's trouble about his love life for his own story... ;) _

_**pinkdoughtnuts** : I'm so happy you liked last chapter! :D Yuuna's beauty is in her love for Kiku, like you said, it's unconditional and she'll definitely reappear and this part of the story will definitly be borught up at some point. Also, Hajime's reaction will be funny to write when he realizes she was just pissed off because she was jealous. Oikawa's lady won't be revealed until his story, not even her name. Even for HIM her name is a mystery! ;) But how he feels and the existence of this girl will eb brought up at some point in this story later on :) I hope it was a good revelation, and I wish you lots of love~! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Ahah, I like your reaction to last chapter! XD Don't worry, Kiku's story will be revealed soon, and until then, lots of epic and cute moments to come! :)_

 _: Thank you so much for your review, it made me very happy! I hope you'll love the rest of this story as much as you liked it so far! :) Unfortunately, Oikawa's lady isn't Shimizu, even if it's be interesting, but she'll be revealed in a future story that will involve Oikawa's own love story. ;)_

 _ **Houshikun001** : I'm very, very excited about Oikawa's story because I plan on exploring his character SO MUCH that I'll know him like the back of my hand. He's such an intresting and deep character, he's a dream character to write about for writers! :D I wouldn't really call it a "love triangle" because Kiku doesn't feel anything romantic for Yuuna and Yuuna doesn't expect aything from Kiku either... Yuuna will defiitely reappear though! :D_

 _ **Musk360** : Thankk youf ro your review! :D I'm so happy to know that you like it! :D Kijime isdefinitely a fluffy couple that makes me go "Kyaaa~" when I write about them~! Oikawa's lady won't appear in this story but she very quickly appears in another (Sowlmate) and of course, she'll be the main OC in Oikawa's story. This story will end until the end of their third-year, give or take... at least until all the canon manga/anime moments are done and all of the mini-arcs of the story done as well. Then, there'll be a long epilogue from a fw years in the future (+ if you'll read Oikawa's story, which aren't published yet because that'd be too many stories, there'll be lots of Kijime as well) I get the quotes from goodreads but there are a lot that I just find, and if it reminds me of a couple or a moment in my fanfics, I keep it in a file to put later in the chapters. :) _

_**LuxKlara** : Kiku no sa che Yuuna è innamorata di lei, o non avrebbe parlato tanto di Hajime... Non vuole fare male a la sua amica... La storia di Kiku sarà rivelata presto. La sua storia è tristezza ma... anche ha moltissima gioia! :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXV : Mutual Inspiration

" _Why do they always teach us that it's easy and evil to do what we want and that we need discipline to restrain ourselves? It's the hardest thing in the world – to do what we want. And it takes the greatest kind of courage. I mean, what we really want."_

― **Ayn Rand**

" _I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'."_

― **Maya Angelou**

" _Failure is an option, fear is not."_

― **James Cameron**

" _It's time to care; it's time to take responsibility; it's time to lead; it's time for a change; it's time to be true to our greatest self; it's time to stop blaming others."_

― **Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience**

" _An acquaintance merely enjoys your company, a fair-weather companion flatters when all is well, a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear."_

― **E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly**

" _We are our choices."_

― **Jean-Paul Sartre**

" _The most special relationships, in my experience, are based on a combination of trust and mutual respect."_

― **Charles Kennedy**

" _That was what a best friend did: hold up a mirror and show you your heart."_

― **Kristin Hannah, Firefly Lane**

" _That's the problem with best friends. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself."_

― **Cecily von Ziegesar, Nobody Does it Better**

"I need these papers filled and brought back to me by next week. If some of you are confused, if you need help to figure out your orientation, the guidance counselor receives you everyday." Their teacher announced.

Students of the class five only half-listened, impatient to go have lunch and thinking that even if they were in their third-years, they still had plenty of time ahead of them to decide of their future. Among the chaotic atmosphere of lunch, Iwaizumi and Akiyama remained sitting, staring down at the papers distributed earlier by their teacher.

There were several lines for all of the possible orientations the students were considering for studying next year. Choosing a university, a field to study, your future job, your future life… It felt so far away it was hard to imagine any of this but in the same time, it was so close that it was making them feel dizzy. How could they be asked to choose their future with just a few words written down on a paper when so many doubts and questions were in their minds?

Glancing around, Iwaizumi noticed that several people had left to get lunch, leaving the papers either untouched or with their wishes already written down. He glanced down once again, his pen jumping nervously over his fingers but in the end, he decided not to write anything yet… Whenever he thought about his future… he didn't see anything in particular, he didn't wish anything in particular and it worried him more than he'd care to admit.

Turning on his left, he noticed Kiku who had written down several options already. Surprised that she had barely hesitated, he straightened up:

"You know what you'll do next year?" He asked.

Startling, Kiku glanced between the paper and him before nodding with a flush on her cheeks.

"I have several ideas but… I'll need to talk with the guidance counselor and my parents to be sure of my choice… And you? Will you continue volleyball professionally?" She asked with a smile.

She was so sure he'd continue that when Hajime hesitated and glanced down at the paper, she felt her world shattering.

"Don't tell me… you'll do something else…?" She hesitated but as he glanced up at her, opening his lips, she caught herself and shook her head, "I'm sorry, it's not my place to judge, I shouldn't have said that. It's… it's _your_ choice in the end…"

"My choice, yeah…" He mumbled, folding the paper in half and throwing it in his notebook with the hope that he wouldn't have to think about it for a while – even though he knew that time was ticking.

"Kiku-chan!"

Yukimura Shinobu arrived with her bento and a smile:

"Do we eat lunch together today?" She asked eagerly.

Kiku flushed but nodded, bending down to retrieve her bento after she made sure her orientation paper was hidden in her notebook.

"Have you written anything yet, Shinobu-san?" Kiku asked politely as she rose, Hajime watching the two girls walk around.

"Literature! I'll study at Tohoku University next year! And you?"

"Ah, um… I still hesitate…"

Before leaving the classroom, Kiku turned around towards Iwaizumi who startled when he was caught staring.

"Iwaizumi-san? Will you… do you want to join us for lunch?"

He hesitated before shaking his head with a smile. At some point without he realized any of it, these two had started talking and they were having lunch together almost everyday. Sometimes Iwaizumi joined, sometimes Oikawa and the other third-years of the volleyball club would be there as well.

"I have lunch with Oikawa, I'll see you later girls," he said, standing up to go find Oikawa.

Kiku hesitated, something close to disappointment appearing in her eyes before she nodded and followed her friend. They went their way while Iwaizumi advanced in the other way, towards the crowd of girls surrounding Oikawa and trapping him from going to buy his lunch.

 _Later, at practice…_

"Everyone, gather around!" Oikawa called loudly.

The entire team went around him, everyone turning to their coaches and manager.

"We received the brackets of the Inter-High," Irihata started, distributing a few papers around for the players to look at.

Whispers and conversations started to erupt as they looked at the other teams in their group and the possible outcomes for every matches. Kiku glanced up at the other third-years who were discussing the teams in their group – for once, the only one who was silent was Oikawa.

"You don't play on the first day?" She asked curiously, confused about the brackets.

Iwaizumi turned to her with a smile to explain:

"Only in the morning, our first match will be in the afternoon. We're in the top four of Miyagi – the top teams are heads of groups and thus, don't play the first match."

"Ooh… You're so strong, Iwaizumi-san!" She exclaimed proudly.

He flushed and tried to hide his embarrassment – especially when the others snickered at him.

"T-the whole team is… not just me and… it depends on whether or not I'll be able to play this time…" He mumbled, glaring down at his hand.

His wrist wasn't held in a splint anymore, but it was bandaged and he still wasn't allowed to play. It was torture watching the others practice more and more intensely with the Inter-High coming up but being unable to do anything except point out their (rare) mistakes. Oikawa has been mostly working with Kindaichi and Kunimi who were the two regular first-years so that they would be in synch in time for the competition.

Iwaizumi knew that he was strong and had skills and that three little weeks without playing won't damage his plays but… it was so _frustrating_. Now more than any other time he couldn't afford to slack off. They were in their _third-year_ , it was their _last_ _year_ , their last Inter-High, their last chance to win it and go to Nationals. For a moment, he thought back on the paper in his bag for his project next year. He shook his head then noticed his friend's unusual silence.

"What is it, Oikawa?" He asked, attracting the attention of the other third-years to their Captain who glanced up.

"We have Karasuno in our group," he simply said.

Iwaizumi glanced back down, realizing that, indeed, Karasuno High-school was in their group, which meant…

"Kageyama…" He whispered, knowing how much Oikawa wanted to destroy the first-year setter.

"And their crazy quick with the little guy – the one who kept jumping super high at the practice match," Hanamaki reminded them while Kiku glanced from one to another as she took some notes.

"It'd be good to see if they have made any progress, we might face them," Iwaizumi said.

"It's only if Karasuno beats both Tokonami and Datekou." Mattsun remarked.

"They will," Oikawa said with a strong gaze, "I'm sure of it. It's my chance to crush Tobio-chan and then – it'll be Ushiwaka's turn!" He exclaimed, clenching his fist around the bracket.

There was a short moment of silence, Iwaizumi closely observing his friend because he knew that _more than anyone_ , Oikawa wanted to beat his rivals and go to Nationals.

Kiku glanced at each and every one of the third-years, all of them with dark but determined expressions on their faces. She knew about how Aoba Jousai kept facing Shiratorizawa in finals – and losing against Ushiwaka's great power. She knew that both Oikawa and Iwaizumi had been going against Ushijima for _years_ but… seeing up-close the team preparing themselves, practicing in order to get stronger, determination flowing in their veins… it was totally different from watching from afar.

Her gaze landed on Iwaizumi who was staring at his hand and the brackets, something close to uncertainty shining in his eyes. It was so unusual to see the resilient Ace hesitant that she wasn't sure what to do or say.

The others advanced to go talk with Irihata but before Iwaizumi could follow, Kiku put her hand on his forearm, attracting his attention to her.

"It'll be fine, your hand will be healed," she told him with a smile.

He hesitated before nodding but his lips were still thin.

"Yeah but… I would have missed three weeks of practice – what if these weeks have determined our victory or defeat against Shiratorizawa? If I lack power and we lose because of that…"

His voice trailed off but Kiku frowned lightly and stepped forward, her hand still resting on his forearm, just above his wrist, so near his hand. She wanted to hold his hand and reassure him, he wanted to hold onto her for confidence and comfort… but neither moved.

"Isn't volleyball a teamwork? If you lose, it won't be because of that – it won't be _your_ fault but everyone's!"

Hajime glanced into Kiku's eyes but then, her confidence wavered and she quickly tried to correct her words:

"I-I d-don't mean that you'll _absolutely_ lose, o-of course… j-just… you'll win! I'm sure! Because you all have an amazing teamwork, you said it yourself just a moment ago – you're strong because you're a team!" She exclaimed enthusiastically.

Slowly, Hajime smiled then nodded.

"Yeah, you're right, we're strong and we're gonna win," he said with a confident smile.

He ruffled her hair then followed the others, leaving a thunderstruck Kiku behind. She took a strand of hair between her fingers, her heart speeding up as she watched the Ace walk away… Even after all these years, he could still surprise her, she could still discover new expressions on his face, he could still make her fall in love with him without realizing it…

For once, Oikawa didn't stay behind at practice for _unreasonable_ hours and after some more practice, the regulars all went to take their showers, Iwaizumi making sure to lock everything behind them before waiting for them in the locker room because, without practice, he didn't need to take a shower.

"And how was it?" Makki asked with a grin as the three third-years exited the shower to get dressed, Iwaizumi glancing up at them in confusion.

"You don't need the details, Makki! But it felt very very good – like always! It's just so fulfilling!" Oikawa exclaimed with a silly grin on his face while the two friends smirked teasingly.

"What is?" Iwaizumi asked, feeling at a loss.

"Oikawa got laid the other day," Makki answered before the setter had time to say anything.

"Don't say it like that, Makki!" He scolded.

"Eeeh… so you and Marika did it, then? It took you longer than usual, do you _actually_ care for your girlfriend this time?" Iwaizumi asked with a smile.

"I _always_ care for my girlfriend!" He whined, quickly putting on his uniform and drying his hair with a towel.

"Was she a virgin?" Makki asked to go back on the main topic (and the most interesting one to his tastes).

"No, she wasn't and don't expect any more details from me! I know how you are and I know that you'll share the information with _anyone!"_ Oikawa hissed, glaring half-heartedly at his friend, "I'm going to dry my hair," he mumbled, hurrying to the other side of the room to get a hold of the hair dryer before Yahaba could get it.

"You know what information _I_ want? What Kiku likes doing in bed. It'd be pretty useful for Iwaizumi when they'll be dating." Makki continued, turning a teasing grin towards the Ace.

He startled and blushed, his phone slipping from his hands from embarrassment.

"Wha– don't! D-don't say this sort of stuff!" He exclaimed while bending down to retrieve his phone.

"Why not? You probably thought of it a few times and… let's be honest here… It's Kiku. She's a good dancer and she's a gymnast which means…"

His voice trailed off when he let his head got through his shirt then continued with a nonchalant smile:

"She's _very_ flexible."

He turned his eyes towards Iwaizumi who blushed even more, trying not to think of any of this at the moment and even less about the possibility of the girl he liked being… _flexible_.

"Do you think she masturbates?" Mattsun asked, turning towards Makki who shrugged.

"No idea, I never asked. I probably should. Oh! Perhaps I could give her a few pictures and videos of Iwaizumi when he takes off his clothes, or comes out of the shower and perhaps she'll–"

Knowing that at this point they were just trying their hardest to embarrass and annoy him, Iwaizumi just shook his head and turned away from them as Makki and Mattsun continued sharing their theories concerning Kiku.

"Oikawa, you're done?" He asked, standing up and walking to him.

"Yes, yes! Almost!"

"Don't say 'yes' if it's 'almost'," he answered.

Oikawa whined and after making sure his hair looked as good as always, that everyone was gone, and everything locked, the setter and Ace started walking home, the night slowly falling.

"By the way," Iwaizumi spoke up, "You haven't told me yet about what you meant the other day about not confessing to Kiku."

Both remembered Tooru's strange behavior after seeing Kiku and Sato Yuuna in town. Yuuna, best friend of Kiku and similar to Oikawa in many ways, had managed to shake up both of their minds. Iwaizumi wasn't sure whether or not his best friend had ever fallen in love, and he wasn't sure whether or not _he_ knew what love was. If _either_ of them knew about love at all.

Oikawa wasn't sure how he felt anymore and he kept hidden in the deepest parts of his heart his torment, all the while worrying about what Yuu-chan had meant by _"Make sure Iwaizumi_ _ **doesn't**_ _confess. Not yet. I'll make sure Kiku tells him the truth before it's too late."_

Why wouldn't he be able to confess? What had Kiku gone through for things to be "too late"? What was Tooru supposed to tell his friend after such words from Yuuna?

"It's something Yuu-chan told me… about Kiku-chan…" He started hesitantly, his friend immediately turning his whole attention to what he'd say next, "…She said it was best for you not to confess yet."

Tooru didn't have the heart to give any more detail about what Yuuna had said: something about a truth that Kiku had kept for herself, something that had happened to her… if Iwaizumi learned that Kiku had not been totally honest with him, that she kept secrets and that it would be the reason why she didn't want to date him – he'd let her go.

Hajime's eyes widened and something flickered – anger, annoyance. He growled and frowned, looking in front of him.

" _Yeah_ , because she thinks I don't know what love is and will hurt Kiku. Tch… she doesn't have a thing to say. She said that, just like you, I don't have a clue when it comes to love."

"She said that about me?" Oikawa asked, eyes widening lightly.

"Actually… _I'm_ the one who said that about you…" He admitted, lowering his gaze to the ground, "It's just that… you never fell in love with anyone, didn't you?"

Tooru froze and Hajime stopped as well, turning around towards him.

More shaken up by this question and mostly, its answer… Tooru looked down then away, biting on his lower lip. He should answer, he should say something but his voice was stuck in his throat.

Hajime sighed, understanding without a word what was the answer.

"Look, Oikawa, if you never fell in love with anyone, it's… normal I suppose – we're still in high-school and everything we feel, everything we do is messed up because we know nothing of life and our actions are driven by our testosterone."

"That's… a pretty good summary of my love life, actually…" Oikawa admitted with a nervous chuckle.

Iwaizumi smiled as well, feeling just as confused when it came to his feelings – except when he thought about Kiku herself. Then, everything was clear and peaceful…

His gaze softened and his shoulders dropped as he continued:

"I don't get why, without knowing what love is, you pushed me to fall in love with Kiku… but… now, I'm not going back from it, I'm _serious_ about her so you'd better help me face the consequences of everything from now on because… I'm totally lost about what I'm supposed to do next."

Tooru opened his lips to say that the next step would be to ask Kiku out but Yuuna's words came back to haunt him…

" _Make sure Iwaizumi_ _ **doesn't**_ _confess. Not yet. I'll make sure Kiku tells him the truth before it's too late."_

Thankfully, Tooru never had to find another answer because Hajime took a deep breath and spoke up once again:

"Well, for the moment, I want to focus on the Inter-High – and so should you. We should all focus on the Inter-High… _Then_ , we'll settle our love problems."

Oikawa stared at his friend whose eyes were shining with determination. Slowly, he smiled, the same resolve appearing on his face.

"Have you _ever_ known me _not_ focused on a volleyball competition?" He asked with his usual happy-go-lucky voice.

Hajime smirked as they arrived to their homes, going to their respective apartments and families.

After dinner and his bath, Hajime settled down behind his desk to do his homework but when opening his notebook, the paper for the orientation made him stiffen and frown. He stared at it for a while before reaching for a file he had received in the mail a few days ago. A letter by the Kanemoto Group for being sponsored for a volleyball career, accompanied with many fliers and documents about the life of a pro-athlete doubled with that of a student. He stared at all the domains and fields that the University of Tokyo offered but he was at a loss… Did he want to continue his studies in a field in particular? He didn't dislike any subject, but he didn't have a particular liking in any either – except maybe sports but… Did he even want to continue volleyball as a _pro-athlete?_

"Iwa-chan!"

He jumped and turned around, quickly trying to hide the documents as Oikawa waltzed in his bedroom as if he owned it.

"Damn it, Oikawa! Learn to knock or warn before coming in!" He exclaimed.

"It's fine, it's fine~! It's not like you were jerking yourself off or anything~!" He exclaimed, sitting down on the bed.

Hajime's cheeks flushed, then he blushed even more when he noticed his mother in the doorway, sending him a strange look with a raised eyebrow. He got up and closed the door then turned towards his friend to scold him but Oikawa had managed to get to his desk and was already looking through the documents and papers.

"You received the orientation papers too? I already wrote 'volleyball' – why didn't you? I'll write it for you if you–"

"Oi, oi, OI! Stop! Stop it!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, grabbing paper and pens from Oikawa's hands and quickly putting everything away from the nosy setter.

Oikawa stared at his friend, not understanding his reaction as he frantically put away everything from his gaze, as if it'd keep it all safe and sound.

"Iwa-chan… don't tell me… you… won't continue volleyball?" He asked in a trembling voice.

" _Iwa-chan! When we'll be older, we'll both play on the National team and we'll be the best setter and Ace the Japanese team has ever known!"_

The memory of a sunny day from years ago, of laughter and volleyball made Hajime's heart miss a beat because he _hadn't_ expected such a memory to come back _now_. Why remember this _now?_

The vivid gestures of Hajime slowly calmed down as he checked once again that everything was out of reach from Oikawa… then, he turned his head to his friend and shrugged. Oikawa's eyes widened and his lips opened, a hurt and offended look on his face.

"Look, I haven't thought of it yet and I-I don't really… anything would be fine for me, so whether I continue volleyball or not shouldn't concern you and–"

"You're lying."

Hajime looked up, straight into Oikawa's burning gaze, his expression serious. He swallowed hard and sat down on his bed, harshly reminded that if there was one person he couldn't lie to… it was Oikawa Tooru.

"You _have_ thought of it – you received the documents from the Kanemoto Group which means you _know_ you'll be sponsored next year if you choose a volleyball career! Why not continue?! You're a powerful, skilled and brilliant player! Giving up now would be a loss, a waste of your talent! It's so stupid to give up!"

"I'm not giving up!" He exclaimed suddenly, making Oikawa startle, "I'm not… I just… I need to think of all the possibilities…"

"What other possibilities do you have? Do you want to do something else next year?" Oikawa asked, genuinely confused and curious because his friend had _never_ said anything about wanting to do anything in particular.

Iwaizumi glanced at him, hesitated then shrugged.

"I thought of _many_ possibilities – there isn't anything else that really stands out for me and everything would be a good possibility for me. I'm not… I'm not picky so…"

"You _should_ be – it's your future, Iwa-chan! You can't just shrug it off and think you'll be happy just like that!" Oikawa scolded.

A little annoyed that his friend would find so many things to say about _his_ future, Iwaizumi glanced up at Oikawa with a fed up expression on his face:

"Did _you_ even think of any other possibility _but_ volleyball?" He asked in a hard voice.

Tooru opened his mouth and closed it right away. A heavy silence fell on the room.

"I know you always wanted to become a volleyball player but you're forgetting an important factor: _life_. You've been heavily injured with your knee and you have to realize that perhaps you won't be able to have the career you wish for and–"

"I'll just have to practice and work for it!" Oikawa exclaimed, standing up.

"It's practicing and working, over and over again that got you injured, dumbass!" Iwaizumi shouted back, standing up as well to face him.

The two faced each other, tension sparkling between the two until Iwaizumi forced himself to breathe deeply, taking a step backwards to release the tension.

"…Because you've been injured, no matter how much practice you'll put… it might not work out. And… that's why you have to consider other options, Oikawa…" Iwaizumi said, trying to keep his voice calm even though he was so frustrated.

He turned away to breathe, Oikawa lowering his head and clenching his fists. His eyes were hidden by his hair but after a moment of silence, his voice rose once again, heavy and trembling from emotions.

"What other options do I have…?"

Hajime blinked and turned around just as Oikawa looked up, a frightening expression on his face and his eyes burning with determination. His voice started low and calm before trembling with rage – against his knee, his rivals, his obstacles, his weaknesses, his _fate_ …

"I've only ever had volleyball. If you think that I never thought that my knee would destroy my career before it has a chance to start… or Kageyama's blinding talent, or Ushiwaka's crushing power… you're _wrong!_ I think of it _every day_ because my _whole_ life depends on volleyball and my career!" He hissed.

Hajime was stunned because even though he knew the depth of his friend's determination and rage to vanquish everything that stood in his way, it was the first time he had to face it himself. His lips fell open as Oikawa continued, stepping towards the Ace and looking straight into his eyes:

"I _know_ that I'm betting on an illusory dream, that my hopes might be in vain and that I'm taking the risk of ruining my life – but if I don't take this chance, if I don't bet on this hope and give my all towards this goal… I'll spend the rest of my life regretting making a different choice!"

He paused, breathing shakily from everything he felt before continuing, his features still deformed by raw resoluteness:

"I won't regret the choice I'm making by betting on a volleyball career. But I know that if _you_ make a different choice, if you just shrug it off or decide to doubt of your capacities _now_ … you'll regret it."

There was a short pause during which both friends breathed heavily from how intense the conversation had turned out, from everything they felt at the moment.

Then Oikawa turned away, towards the door to leave. Before leaving, he clenched his teeth and fists before suddenly relaxing, his gaze unwavering.

"The Iwaizumi I know _doesn't_ make wrong choices, he _doesn't_ regret his choices. He _doesn't_ hesitate and he _doesn't_ doubt himself. That's why he's been my Ace for as long as I've played volleyball."

And without another word, Oikawa left the room, leaving a bewildered and shaken up Iwaizumi alone. He swallowed hard then glanced at the documents about the sponsoring…

For as long as he could remember, he's been friend with Oikawa and they've played volleyball… When at first it was just to play, just because spiking was fun… it quickly became one of his favorite thing to do: playing volleyball was always a good time. Then came Middle-school. Both entered Kitagawa Daiichi, a powerhouse of middle-school volleyball. At this point, Oikawa started pulling ahead, showing his skills and talent as a setter and Iwaizumi was always supporting him and by his side. The moment they became regulars on the team, they competed and went all the way to finals… they had felt so ecstatic… Until Ushiwaka's crushing victory. It was their first defeat, the first tears of bitterness and the first time they felt this rage to win the next time, to get their revenge.

Oikawa more than Iwaizumi. It wasn't that Hajime didn't want to win as much as he did, it wasn't that he didn't want his revenge because as KitaIchi's Ace, he was the one competing most against Ushijima but… Oikawa was putting his all, it was his ultimate goal – winning over Ushiwaka and go to Nationals. Even then, Iwaizumi had to choose to be the voice of reason whenever Oikawa would overpractice and risk an injury…

But everything turned even worse when a first-year genius arrived. The moment Kageyama arrived, all of the rage that Oikawa had felt, the will to win against Ushiwaka, it turned into the fear of being overshadowed by his kouhai, that all of his hard work would be erased by the inner talent of a genius, that it had all been for _nothing_. Fear, panic, doubt, anger… it made a terrible mix and drew Oikawa into a state of desperate rage that Iwaizumi had never seen before that. He went as far as raising his hand against Kageyama, as far as almost hitting an innocent child out of rage… Iwaizumi knew damn well that if he hadn't been here… things would have turned out very differently for all three of them, he knew that Oikawa wouldn't let his feelings overpower him anymore… but it changed their goals and determination. Iwaizumi kept his own wishes at arms' reach so he could keep an eye on his friend, make sure he wouldn't make a mistake he'd regret, making sure he wouldn't injure himself, make sure he wouldn't listen to his demons…

From this point on and until now, Oikawa and Iwaizumi, the setter and his Ace, the Great King and his General, they wanted one thing: to beat Ushiwaka and go to Nationals. It was their focus, their way to ignore the inevitable genius and all the fears and demons he was bringing with him but now that Kageyama was in high-school, there was no more denying that another threat stood between Oikawa and his goal.

Beat Kageyama. Beat Ushiwaka. Go to Nationals. It was all they both focused about, it was their common goal.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi had played volleyball together for as long as they could remember, they had always felt the same fulfillment of a well-played set-up and the absolute joy of breaking through the opponents' wall with a good toss and powerful spike. They always felt the same rage whenever they lost against Shiratorizawa, they always felt the same frustration for all of the months they had spent practicing to lose while they could reach for Nationals but never manage to grab it. Even when Oikawa was considered the best setter of the prefecture, even when Iwaizumi was the sixth best spiker of the country… _They couldn't win._

Now what?

They had to choose their futures, their careers, their _lives_ but… for the first time in years, Iwaizumi was hesitating. Because over the years he's seen Oikawa becoming even better than he thought, hoped and expected, polishing his skills, getting stronger, driving everyone with him and Iwaizumi the first one to follow the King… And mostly, he's seen Oikawa becoming the absolute setter everyone admired, someone who could pull out the best of his teammates, keeping in his heart an unwavering faith and confidence that his teammates were the best ones. He was like a light, attracting everyone and making sure that everyone was confident in their skills and power.

But Iwaizumi… as good as he could get, as skilled as he was, as powerful as he was… he was never as good as Oikawa, he was always a step behind, keeping an eye on him to watch his back, to push him forward or pull him backward depending on the situation. It was his own confidence and pride he had to keep in check to make sure that Oikawa was on the right path. And now that he had to choose _his_ path, whether to continue volleyball or not… he doubted himself. He doubted that he could reach the level that a top setter like Oikawa would want from his Ace. He doubted that his power as a sixth spiker, an Ace defeated every single year by Ushiwaka, would be able to stand on the same court as Ushijima and the rest of the top spikers, and mostly the court _Oikawa_ would stand on.

He spent so many years taking care of Oikawa and keeping the setter's fears in check that Iwaizumi forgot to take care of his own fears. The fear of not being _good enough_ , of not being the Ace his friend deserved, of being left behind…

 _Why_ did he have to doubt himself _now? Why_ did he have to let his fears catch up to him _now?_ _Why_ _now_ of all times? _WHY?_

" _The Iwaizumi I know_ _ **doesn't**_ _doubt himself. That's why he's been my Ace for as long as I've played volleyball."_

"Damn it…" Iwaizumi muttered, clenching his fists.

He hated it when Oikawa was right – but he was always right when it came to Iwaizumi. It was why they were best friends, they knew the other better than they knew themselves.

Hajime knew that despite what he had said, Oikawa was _right_ into choosing a volleyball career. _He was making the right choice_. He _knew_ it. He'd reach to his goal.

 _Iwaizumi watched with awed eyes the match he and his best friend were watching. Oikawa was bouncing in excitement while the match from the Olympics was s_ _h_ _owing on tv._

" _Iwa-chan! When we'll be older, we'll both play on the National team and we'll be the best setter and Ace the Japanese team has ever known!" He exclaimed enthusiastically._

 _Hajime kept watching the Ace jumping up and spiking the ball, his heart swelling with pride at the mere idea that someday, he would be the one standing on this court and being entrusted with the title of Ace. An excited smile illuminated his face as he nodded._

" _Yeah!" He answered his friend._

So many things had happened since this time when they were watching volleyball on tv and dreaming of becoming as strong and as talented as the National team…

" _I know that if_ _ **you**_ _make a different choice… you'll regret it."_ Oikawa had said just a few minutes ago.

Hajime took a deep breath then advanced towards the documents he had left alone earlier… he grabbed the orientation paper and a pencil…

"It's not like I listen to your advices, Oikawa… I'm making my own choice, in my own terms." He mumbled as he wrote down his first choice for a career.

 _Volleyball_ _player_

* * *

 _I hope I didn't make any mistake on Iwaizumi - or Oikawa's characters - I tried to explore them, mostly Hajime, and their relationship with each other and towards their rivals + volleyball as deeply as I could. I'm rather proud of how it turned out but well..._

 _Not much Kiku or Kijime in this chapter... but there's an adorable moment next chapter... and also, the Inter-High starts which means that for a chapter or two ( but knowing me it might turn into the double) There will be some cute moments but obviouslyt he focus will be on the competition and the relationships between all of these boys (Iwaizumi, Oiakwa, Kageyama... Ushijima... Ah, expect some Tendou mayhem too.)_

 _I don't know when I'll eb able to post nex chapter because of the finals. If you have some as well... work well and good luck! :D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : NO REGRET (Levi feels...)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	26. No Regret

_Hey, hey! I'M BACK! :D_

 _I'm sorry for not posting earlier, but as you know, I didn't have internet and then, I was absent on an archeological site. Here is the new chapter! :D_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Picking a career is so hard, and society puts so much stress on children's shoulders to figure it out and make it happen even when it won't decide of your WHOLE life._

 _ **Aquafin** : I'm glad you liked it, I hope what follows won't disappoint! :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : L'amicizia di Iwaizumi e Oikawa è una dei più bellisime cose di Haikyuu! Mi piace scrivere la loro amicizia!_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : You are totally right about "nothing is ever set in stone", especially whenn it comes to choosing your carreer! :)_

 _ **Aradhey** : I hope I wrote the compeititon right for the few next chapters. And the results will follow the manga/anime, indeed. The only thing changing is the addition of Kiku but that's it. :)_

 _ **Krisia** : Choosing your future career is hard, but when it's sports there are so many other aspects you have to consider - getting injured not being good enough etc. It must be even harder and takes even more bravery for these boys._

 _ **Minki** : I don't know if you read up to 25th chapter, but I'mg lad you liked what you read! :D_

 _ **Yurei-san** : I loved your review, it was so funny to read! x)_

 _ **forevertrash97** : Thank you for reading my fanfic and reviewing! I hope you'll like what follows! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXVI : No Regret

" _People forget they have options. And they forget that those things don't really matter. They should concentrate on what they have and not what they don't have. And by the way, wishing and dreaming doesn't mean concentrating on what you don't have, it's positive thinking that encourages hoping and believing, not whining and moaning."_

― **Cecelia Ahern, If You Could See Me Now**

" _There is a primal reassurance in being touched, in knowing that someone else, someone close to you, wants to be touching you. There is a bone-deep security that goes with the brush of a human hand, a silent, reflex-level affirmation that someone is near, that someone cares."_

― **Jim Butcher, White Night**

" _Maturity is when you stop complaining and making excuses, and start making changes."_

― **Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart**

" _You are not the victim of the world, but rather the master of your own destiny. It is your choices and decisions that determine your destiny."_

― **Roy T. Bennett**

" _There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it."_

― **Shannon L. Alder**

" _That was our friendship: equal parts irritation and cooperation."_

― **Ransom Riggs, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children**

" _There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will."_

― **Unknown**

 _The following day…_

Iwaizumi closed the door behind him and glanced at the Oikawa family doorway. Should he go in? Should he ring? Send a message to Oikawa? They always run together in the morning but since the previous night, Oikawa hadn't contacted Iwaizumi despite his usual midnight nonsense and Iwaizumi had been too proud to send a message and talk things through. He wasn't quite sure if they had _argued_ per say but… there _had_ been some tension.

"Ah, Hajime!"

He looked up and saw Oikawa's mother exiting the apartment, she smiled at the high-schooler.

"You missed Tooru, he left some time ago for his run – I thought you were with him?"

"Ah uh… overslept…" Iwaizumi answered awkwardly, looking away.

If Oikawa had left for his run without contacting Iwaizumi previously, he was probably still annoyed at him for the previous night – for everything Iwaizumi had said, for his doubts about both their careers…

After saluting Oikawa's mother, Iwaizumi started running, music resonating in his head without quite listening to it. It wasn't unusual for him to run on his own, but it never happened in the _morning_ on a _week day._ Hajime was so lost in thoughts, thinking about his friend and his future career that he didn't notice he was reaching the end of his run – the timer on his ipod stopped and he slowed down, panting. He checked the time and realized he had enough time to _not_ have to hurry to go back to his place, take a quick shower and go to morning practice.

Looking up, Hajime stiffened and blinked, realizing that, unconsciously, he had run in Hanamaki's neighborhood but mostly… Akiyama Bakery. He had been so lost in thoughts, he had run right to Kiku – if it wasn't a proof that even when he wasn't aware of it, he was thinking of her, he didn't know how to explain his arrival there… He should go straight home, he didn't have Oikawa to waste time with, he didn't have his friend to go bother Kiku at the moment… She was probably still sleeping – it was early, after all but… Hajime still walked to the bakery, glancing around a little nervously. He remained in the front of the bakery without daring to enter, mostly because he couldn't see who was in the bakery at the moment. It had opened only a few minutes ago and most of the shelves and displays behind glasses were still empty. But there was a sweet and warm scent coming out of the bakery, making his stomach rumble…

He didn't notice a little truck arriving just in front of the bakery and Shouta coming out of it and glancing from afar at the boy awkwardly standing by.

"I'll go help dad!"

Hajime froze when he heard the familiar voice of the girl he liked, a voice sweeter than any smell coming out of the bakery. He turned around just as Kiku arrived from the side of the bakery, probably a back-door. She froze, eyes widening upon seeing him here.

"I-Iwaizumi-san…?" She asked, blinking in disbelief.

"A-ah, g-good morning…" He hesitated, glancing around and finally noticing Shouta approaching.

The tall baker was already standing behind him and putting his hand on his shoulder, making the high-schooler startle.

"Isn't it Iwaizumi? What are you doing out here in the early morning?" He asked enthusiastically.

"Uuh… I went for a run…" Iwaizumi explained.

Father and daughter took in his gym clothes and sweaty appearance. Hajime didn't usually feel awkward when he was sweating – he was doing more sports than average, he was sweaty and stinky more often than not… but it did feel weird when he was being stared at by the girl he liked and her father.

"Y-you shouldn't run in the morning without a jacket, you'll catch a cold…!" Kiku started, shaking herself out of her shock, "A-and also, you should rest with your wrist…"

She stared worriedly at his hand and he quickly shook his head with a smile to reassure her:

"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt as long as I don't use my hand, and my wrist feeks much better, I'll be back to practice soon!"

"You're still not wearing any jacket," she scolded with a pout.

"Ah, well… we're almost in June?" He said with a little shrug.

She didn't seem satisfied with this excuse and Shouta smiled to himself when he saw the two interact:

"Why don't you take him inside before he catches a cold, then, Kiku?" He proposed, making both teens look up at him, "And feed him while you're at it – he's so frail-looking he's trembling after a little run! AHAH!"

"Ah, uh, no! I'm fine! I was about to head back to my place anyway a-and!" Iwaizumi exclaimed while trying not to feel insulted for being considered _"frail"_ – also he was trembling because he was so close to Kiku and didn't know what to do with his body.

"Your stomach made a growling noise earlier, you're hungry. Just go eat some food, boy – or you'll never grow up!" Shouta exclaimed, tapping his shoulder enthusiastically.

Hajime glanced away, bitterly reminded that he was so damn short compared to this giant of a man – and the entire volleyball team…

"I'm not hungry…" He mumbled.

Just then, his stomach decided to betray him – the smell of sweet and warm bread in the early morning was too tempting and it growled loudly.

He flushed while Shouta laughed and Kiku chuckled before taking his hand softly. Hajime blushed even more and glanced at her curiously as she guided him gently – not into the bakery but on a path on the side, guiding them at the back of the house. There was a door which was probably the access to the dwelling parts of the house rather than the business part. As expected, it wasn't any part of the bakery, instead, there was a small entry where they left their shoes and climbed stairs. Hajime recognized the part of the house he had been to the time he had visited with his friends. Kiku took him into the kitchen where a little table was still covered with the family breakfast. Hajime blinked when he saw Kiku's two birds – Birb and Pip if he recalled correctly – on a bird perch.

"Say hi, guys, don't be rude," Kiku told the birds when they stared for a long time at Hajime.

" _Hi! Hi!"_ Birb exclaimed enthusiastically, bowing his head excitedly while Pip turned around to ignore the high-schooler.

"…Hello," Hajime greeted which pleased Birb.

"My mother is baking at the moment so it's only us," Kiku told Hajime as she put away a few things from the table.

He blushed and looked down at his feet while she cleaned as fast as she could and prepared him a plate with patisserie and breads and a cup of tea.

"T-thanks but… I don't have money on me, I probably shouldn't–"

"Nonsense, just eat to your heart's content!" She exclaimed, pushing him to a chair and forcing him down, "You'll need energy for morning practice!"

"Y-yeah, but I don't play so…"

"Iwaizumi-san, you don't have to be so shy with me, you can eat considering both my father and I invited you in…" She said with a soft smile.

Hajime glanced up at Kiku then smiled back, gladly eating and enjoying the warmth of Kiku's smile as she gave some cut fruits to her birds and finished cleaning everything.

"It's surprising to see you without Oikawa-san, though – don't you always run together in the morning? Why are you on your own?" She asked curiously, turning to him.

Hajime's face darkened and he glanced down at what was left on his plate, not feeling hungry anymore… Realizing there was something wrong, Kiku turned completely to him.

Hajime wasn't used to argue or banter with his best friend, or with anyone, he was pretty easy to live with and when he _did_ argue with Oikawa, it never lasted and one or the other, whoever was at fault, would apologize pretty fast. But never before, there had been an argument that had ended up with Oikawa walking out and ignoring him for more than twelve hours. _He_ was the stubborn one who ignored Oikawa for days when he was being too much of a pain in the ass.

"We… kinda argued last night…" He admitted, not quite knowing why he was saying that to Kiku.

Kiku stared at Hajime before sitting down in front of him, she was only a meter away, so close and yet so far away. She wanted to comfort Hajime but she didn't know if she could stop if she touched him this time… not when he looked so hesitant and distraught.

"…I could never imagine the two of you _arguing_ …" She murmured, lips thin.

They were always throwing insults (mostly Iwaizumi), bantering and bickering but it was always playful. Imagining the setter and Ace on cold terms was just… so… unnatural. But if it felt so _strange_ for Kiku – it must felt awful for Hajime… and Oikawa, both of them were probably feeling lost at the moment.

She leaned forward, her hand reaching for Hajime but stopping before she could reach his skin. If he noticed her move, he didn't say a thing and continued to stare at the plate, his eyes stormy with thoughts.

"Do you want to talk about it…?" She asked with a kind voice.

Not quite surprised by her gentle tone, but still warmed up by her presence and the simple fact she was willing to listen to him, Hajime looked up to Kiku. He noticed her hand stretched out to him, her kind and saddened gaze, her lips tight in worry… He wanted to hold her hand but he didn't dare move even when his fingers trembled. He clenched his hands together and shook lightly his head.

"It's fine… I said things I shouldn't have and I didn't listen to his advice, I'll apologize and we'll settle things later. It was just…"

He shrugged and sighed.

"Strange, I guess. Perhaps Oikawa is finally becoming mature and a mature Oikawa is an Oikawa I don't know how to deal with…" He admitted, his heart feeling lighter after saying what was really making him feel so strange.

It wasn't the act that Oikawa was moving forward, that he didn't seem to need his help, but that for the first time in his life… he wasn't quite sure whether or not he could understand his best friend and it frightened him.

"You'll be fine, both of you. You've been friends for years it won't change now just because of a petty argument. You're both more mature than that and… you care too much for each other to give up on each other." She said, her words instantly cheering him up.

And even if he had argued with his best friend, Kiku was comforting him and he couldn't help but smile.

"A friendship that has lasted more than seven years will last forever, right?" He said, remembering what she had once told him.

Kiku seemed to recall this moment, back when they had been studying for their History paper at the library. It felt like so long ago, so many things had happened between them since then… She smiled and his heart sped up to a peaceful and comforting rhythm.

"Thanks, I feel better now I've talked about it with you…" Hajime murmured, flushing lightly as she smiled, "Perhaps… perhaps that's why I came here…"

His voice trailed off and he glanced at his hands resting on his thighs then back up at Kiku. She stared at him with a flush on her cheeks, probably wondering if she had heard right… Hajime had felt down and he didn't realize he was going to Kiku until he was in front of the bakery. Her presence and words had comforted him… perhaps it was why he had run here this morning. Perhaps his heart had guided him.

Hajime glanced quickly at Kiku's hand still resting on the table, as if reaching for him and he moved his hands. He approached his hand to hers, his green eyes diving into her dark blue ones, as if asking for permission. He knew she knew what he was about to do but she didn't pull away and it only encouraged him. His fingers brushed her skin and she turned her hand around so they'd hold han–

A ringing sound made them both startle and pull away hands, hiding them on their laps and looking down at the table with blushed cheeks. Then, Kiku stood up suddenly.

"S-sorry! I-it's m-my p-phone! I-it's time for me to start getting ready to go for school!"

Hajime glanced at the time and gasped, standing up quickly as well.

"Damn it! I didn't see the time! I have to go or I'll be late!"

Even if he wasn't practicing he was still the one with the changing-room's key – if he was late, the whole practice would be late. He'll have to run back to his place, grab his stuff then hurry to Aoba Jousai.

A panicked hurry made them both look around even if it made them waste time – Kiku had enough time to not panic but Hajime frantically hurried to help her clean even if she insisted he left turned them into a blushing mess. He looked around to find the exit in this place he didn't know, Kiku following him.

"Will you have enough time? Do you want me to ask my father to drive you back?" She asked as they both went down the stairs and he started to frantically put on his shoes, but his bandaged hand slowed him down and he winced at the pressure on his injury when he pulled a little too strongly.

"I'll be fine if I run, don't worry," he said, standing up and almost knocking her off.

Hajime turned to the door but turned around, Kiku stopping just before her body could collide with his.

"Thank you for everything!" He exclaimed with a quick bow, making her startle backwards.

He opened the door and stepped outside, Kiku following with the same frenzy but he gasped and turned around once again – this time, she bumped into him and he caught her by the shoulders before she could trip. She wasn't clumsy and hadn't been able to fall at all, but he had acted on instinct and he didn't dislike the fact that she looked up at him in awe at his fast reflexes. They were so close, so, so close it was driving him mad but his mind kept screaming _"you're going to be late! You're going to be late! You're going to be late!"_ so he didn't get to enjoy their proximity.

"One last thing! Can I ask something of you?" He asked quickly.

Kiku blinked but nodded instantly as he made his demand, hands joined together. She smiled and his smile was even bigger.

Hajime ran all the way to his place, grabbed his stuff for the day then ran all the way to Aoba Jousai. Some of his teammates were here, waiting at the changing-room as he ran up the stairs and looked for the keys in his bag – of course, they were in the deepest, hidden parts of his bag.

"Calm down, we're still in time," Mattsun commented.

"Oikawa isn't here?" Iwaizumi asked, still looking through his bag.

He threw his jersey at Mattsun and his volleyball shoes at Makki but it didn't help him find the keys.

"Nope, he sent a message saying he'd be late – he didn't tell you?" Mattsun continued, surprised while Iwaizumi kept emptying the contents of his volleyball bag while keeping under his other arm a brown paper bag.

"You're going to hurt your wrist if you keep moving around so much, Iwaizumi-san," Yahaba remarked just before receiving the paper bag so that the Ace could use both hands.

He lifted up the bag on one knee, not understanding why the keys had disappeared from his bag – he couldn't have _forgotten_ considering he always left them in his bag to _not_ lose them.

"Where the fuck did they go…?!" He grumbled to himself, pulling when he discovered a hole in the lining of his bag – thankfully it had slipped in the lining and not out of the bag.

He heard the familiar clicking of keys, starting to pull them out victoriously after this long battle just as Hanamaki spoke up:

"So, are you late because you spent too much time with Kiku?" He asked with a knowing, teasing smirk.

Iwaizumi made a strangled sound that was a mix between a gasp and squeal, his cheeks turning red just as he took out the keys from his bag – but from his sudden move and embarrassment, the keys escaped his fingers and flew off. The high-schoolers watched the keys fly off and down the building of changing-rooms then all bent over the railing to look at where they had landed.

Makki turned a devious smirk to his friend who glared at him.

"How do you even know that, damn it?!" Iwaizumi mumbled, still embarrassed by being caught and acting so strangely.

"I saw you run out of her house this morning – did you spend the night? You enjoyed it? How was it? Did you two do it? I want the details!" Hanamaki started, smirking as Iwaizumi turned redder at every word.

"Eeeeh?! You spent the n-night with our manager, Iwaizumi-san?!" Kindaichi exclaimed, flushing.

"N-no, I didn't!"

"I didn't know you were finally dating! Congratulations!" Yahaba exclaimed.

"We're not!"

"So lucky, and moving so fast!" Mattsun added.

"We– will you listen to me?!" Iwaizumi hissed, making his friends smile teasingly and chuckle at his embarrassed reaction.

To hide his embarrassment – but he failed – he got his stuff back and put it into his bag angrily.

"I just ran to the bakery and she invited me in – that's all! Don't go say weird stuff in front of her! Or the coach!" He exclaimed his explanations, everyone just smiling.

"Hey, guys!"

They all looked down to Oikawa who was holding the keys up:

"I think you dropped something," he continued, throwing them upwards.

Iwaizumi grabbed them with one hand, the two friends glancing at each other quickly. Oikawa was the first one to smile, acting the same as usual as he turned around to climb up the stairs – by the time he arrived, Iwaizumi had opened the door and everyone had filled in.

"Ooss~! Good morning everyone~!" Oikawa greeted before Iwaizumi could say a thing.

"Oosss!"

They changed and went to practice just in time when coach Irihata and Mizoguchi arrived. Oikawa was acting so normal that no one noticed any tension between the setter and Ace – and as for Iwaizumi, they took his grumpy looks for the embarrassment and annoyance from earlier.

While Oikawa was leading the warm-up, Iwaizumi went towards Irihata, Kiku entering the gymnasium and saluting everyone in the same time.

"Coach," Iwaizumi started, attracting Irihata's attention on him, "I wanted to know if I could talk to you… concerning next year…"

Irihata blinked, surprised by the sudden topic being thrown so suddenly… He knew that both Oikawa and Iwaizumi had been noticed by sponsors and would probably continue volleyball for a professional career but… he was still surprised when the Ace came to him for guidance. He was usually so confident.

"We can talk now in another room if you want."

Iwaizumi nodded and followed the coach outside the gymnasium, Kiku overheard this and followed the two leaving. While Mizoguchi was screaming at Kunimi and some other kouhai to be more active even if it was the morning, she had a quick look at the boys and realized they didn't need her help yet. She turned around and followed her uncle and Iwaizumi until she was just behind the door, listening to what they were saying.

Inside the room, after Iwaizumi told his coach about what he wanted to do, and whether or not it was a good idea, Irihata blinked, a little thunderstruck.

"I'm surprised you and Oikawa wouldn't follow the same path, you've always been together."

"That's… why I want to go somewhere else. I want to know if I can be anyone without Oikawa as my setter. He's such an amazing player and he always manages to bring out the best of his teammates but what if he's pulled out everything he could from me? If he did then I'll never make any progress. I want to try new things, a new team, a new setter…" He explained.

"Mmm…"

Irihata put his hand over his chin as he thought of it. He could understand why Iwaizumi would feel the need to grow as an individual player before going back with Oikawa. But he had seen these two work together, polish their skills and practice together for three years. He knew that they were best working together than apart. Still, change was the best way to evolve and get better – it would be a good thing for both of them to become independent and stop relying on each other so much.

"I understand… I'll give a few calls to some people I know if you want. But don't worry and think about it carefully – you still have some time before taking your decision and don't forget that even if you choose volleyball professionally… you need to study something else on a side. To ensure your future and make sure that you'd have a second option." He said with a smile.

"Thanks, coach…" He answered with a respectful bow.

"Right now, focus on the Inter-High. We'll discuss this more deeply once the competition is over."

Kiku walked away from the door before the two could come out, wondering if it was the reason why Oikawa and Iwaizumi had argued – their future careers.

Iwaizumi and Irihata came back, their absence barely noticed by the others as they practiced hard. It went as usual and they all moved to the showers – even Iwaizumi because he hadn't had time in the morning with his hurry. The third-years all started walking towards their classes, Makki and Mattsun making most of the conversation, Oikawa occasionally adding his remarks while Iwaizumi remained silent.

"I'm going to the toilets, see you later!" Hanamaki exclaimed, waving at the others.

"I'll try to nap before the first class starts," Mattsun added, walking away as well.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa ended up alone together, they glanced at each other and Oikawa opened his lips to say something but his friend suddenly pushed a brown paper bag against his chest, forcing the setter to grab it. He glanced down at the bag from the Akiyama Bakery, then glanced up at his friend. There was curiosity and surprise on his face by the sudden gesture but then, it turned suspicious as he checked the contents of the bag, a relieved and joyful expression appearing when he recognized milk bread.

"Milk bread! What for?" Oikawa asked, already grabbing one to munch happily.

"To say sorry for what I said yesterday… I don't regret what I said but I shouldn't have gotten angry when you're just trying to make sure I won't make a mistake in the future." Hajime started, hands in his pockets.

"Mmm… And I shouldn't have tried to force my opinions on you. If you don't want to continue volleyball – even if it's a terrible waste and I know you'll regret it – I can't force your choice. It's yours." Oikawa answered, lowering the paper bag of milk bread and smiling to his friend.

"I… think I'll do volleyball – I'm still considering my options, though but… that's what I've wanted to do for years. It's been my dream. Playing volleyball on the National team…" Iwaizumi said with a smile, remembering that moment, years ago, when they were still children and wanted to become pro-athlete.

Now, this dream was within reach. As Oikawa had said… it'd be a waste to let go of this opportunity. They just had to make the right choices and think of every possibility to not have any regret.

" _Iwa-chan! When we'll be older, we'll both play on the National team and we'll be the best setter and Ace the Japanese team has ever known!"_

"Whatever we decide to do next year, whatever choices we make in the future… we'll always be friends." Oikawa said, looking into his best friend's eyes with a smile.

Iwaizumi huffed then smirked.

"Of course we'll be. Even if you're a pain to deal with." He said, trying to sound annoyed but a relieved smile on his face.

"AH! Mean, so mean, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa whined but he was smiling.

Iwaizumi shook lightly his head while they shared the milk-breads and advanced towards their classes.

Kiku was pretending to read a book but the moment Hajime entered the classroom, saluting Oikawa who walked further away, she slammed the book down and turned around. She looked up expectantly with sparkly eyes at Hajime. He stared back before smiling, he reached in his pockets and handed the money he owed her.

"Thanks for trusting me and letting me have some milk-breads from your bakery. Here's the money for it."

"I-it's fine, I don't–"

"Stop it, you've done enough for me already, let me pay for the milk-breads. I told you I'd pay you later, right?" He said, forcing the money into her hands.

He took the opportunity of keeping both his hands around hers for a little longer than necessary… Her hands were small but fit perfectly in his, her skin was soft against his rough ones and if he leaned down just a little bit he could smell the scent of her cream for the hands – lavender. Sweet, soft but powerful – just like her.

But he couldn't keep her hands in his – not when they were _just_ teammates – and pulled away regretfully, Kiku's gaze still shining from his tender touch.

" _Thank you_ , for giving me warmth and comfort this morning, for listening to me and for giving me the opportunity to reconcile with Oikawa…" He said with a beautiful smile.

Kiku's lips opened and closed, as if she wanted to say something. She seemed to finally realize their proximity and suddenly, she looked away and stepped back towards her desk. The spell was broken, he didn't smell her lemon shampoo and lavender hand-cream… he didn't have her warmth anymore and Kiku sat at her desk, avoiding his gaze. She couldn't look at him in the eye at the moment – not when he looked so heartbroken and disappointed, almost guilty without knowing why. Not when her heart was so desperately beating for him, not when she had been about to lean towards his lips, not when she could still feel the touch of his hands around hers…

"You're welcome." She said with a trembling voice, looking as far away as she could.

Hajime forced his gaze to stop staring at her, he could see how uncomfortable she felt at the moment from his staring and his touch. He had done too much, too suddenly… He sat at his desk, worried things would go sour but fortunately… at break, Kiku smiled at him as if nothing had happened.

If she reacted like that from holding hands… how was he supposed to confess to her and ask her out?

 _Come on, Kiku… give me a clue…_ He thought to himself, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

She was doodling on her notebook, in a corner of it and he wondered what precious little drawing and words he'd find… But he was too far away from her.

Yet again, Hajime was reminded that no matter how close they felt, no matter their connection, there was still a terrible distance between Kiku and him. A distance he didn't know how to cross – a steady walk, a crazy run, a desperate jump? Where would he land? Would Kiku even stand on the other side waiting for him?

He opened one of his notebook, following whatever instruction their teacher had given the class, but he found the brackets for the Inter-High. Like a cold shower, he was reminded that he needed to focus on the Inter-High – as soon as he was cleared by the doctor to go back to practice, he'd have to practice and this time, for sure, they'd beat Ushiwaka.

It was Kiku's turn to glance at Hajime from the corner of her eye, trying not to think of the distance between them as he intensely stared down at the brackets. She could see in his gaze the burning determination to win every single game and go to Nationals. She had always wanted to see him win… but this time, she felt so much more involved with the volleyball team and their results. They _deserved_ to win after all the efforts they had put in it.

At the end of the week, after a visit at the doctor, Iwaizumi's sprain was cleared and he could go back to practice even if it was only one week before the Inter-High and that both Irihata and Mizoguchi kept reminding him to take it slow and be careful. He listened to them, of course, but the one person who seemed to be his voice of reason was Kiku who insisted on massaging his wrist at the end of every practice – he was too blushing and happy to say no despite the others' teasing.

Finally… The day of the Inter-High preliminaries arrived and Aoba Jousai's volleyball team lined up in front of their high-school in the morning.

Kiku checked yet again, for the fifth time since she woke up, that she had everything in her bag and she stood next to Oikawa, the rest of the boys to his left. They all faced Irihata and Mizoguchi in front of the school.

"We're counting on you!" Oikawa exclaimed, bowing down to their coaches.

"WE'RE COUNTING ON YOU!" They all echoed, following their Captain's lead.

The Inter-High preliminaries, Oikawa and Iwaizumi's last chance to defeat Ushiwaka and win the Inter-High, begun.

* * *

 _Considering the most important part of the stry (Hajime and KIku) didn't move much, I might post another chapter soon, like in a few hours, or tomorrow._

 _Tell me what you tohught and once again, I apologize for not posting earlier!_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : INTER-HIGH (I wonder what's going to happen...)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	27. Inter-High

_I had promised another chapter soon. Here it is! :D_

 _Thank you for the follows, favorites and reviews! :D_

 _**LuxKlara** : Grazie per dire che il capitolo era fantastico, ma questo, non c'è qualcosa che arriva... Scopriamo la verità su KIku nel capitolo 31. :)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I doubt OIkawa and Iwaizumi would ever NOT make up after an argument, they're too important for each other. And there's another tiny Kijime interaction in this chapter~_

 _ **TheLadyMuse** : Their relationship is going to evolve very quickly, very soon! ;)_

 _ **Krisia** : His heart did know that the only path he needed to take was to Kiku's~ I tried to make their loss to Shiratorizawa as epic, royal, and heartbreaking, as possible. ;)_

 _ **Cooliceprincess** : I agree that we don't have enough platonic stories about Iwaizumi and Oikawa, or even other characters. "Platonic friendship" doesn't seem to exist in this fandom! x) I'm trying to put as much of their relationship as possible, but considering it's an established friendship, that they know each other so well, for so long, I can't do much except showing how easy it is for htem to coexist. If you get what I'm trying to say... _

_**pinkdoughtnuts** : Confessinos... will come soon enough, don't worry. :)_

 _ **Aquafin** : This is what I like most about Iwaizumi, that he's all grumpy when really, he's so soft-hearted and kind~_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXVII : Inter-High

 _"If you're not gonna go all the way, why go at all?"_

― **Joe Namath**

 _"Play to win, not "not to lose"."_

 _―_ **Dondi Scumaci**

 _"The greatest joys in life are found not only in what we do and feel, but also in our quiet hopes and labors for others."_

― **Bryant McGill, Voice of Reason**

 _Sendai Gymnasium, first day of the Inter-high_

Many gazes turned to Aoba Jousai's team in awe as they walked through the hall. Being the best team of the prefecture after Shiratorizawa Academy, everyone's attention was on them. The team, used to it, didn't blink an eye, walking confidently towards the stairs that would lead them to the seats.

The only one who felt uncomfortable at the attention given was Kiku. She was blushing and kept her eyes fixated on the floor – several people were curious about the new manager of Seijou after three years without anyone to take care of the boys.

"Is she a first-year…? Aoba Jousai didn't have a manager last year, right?" Someone whispered, but it was loud enough to be heard by the girl.

"I'd have expected better for Aoba Jousai – they have Oikawa-san on their team, after all…"

Kiku glanced around quickly, hiding her face behind her hair, then she ran in between Matsukawa, Kindachi and Yahaba – all three were so tall that she was easily lost in the white and turquoise. Feeling reassured, she looked up a little, the last two smiling to her gently while Mattsun pretended he didn't care – but he might have sent his "especially intimidating middle-blocker look" in the direction of the whispering people to make them shut up. They startled and quickly walked away from the Aoba Jousai.

"We need to watch them one last time. Especially the powerful quick of that first-year duo." Irihata said, leading the teenagers.

He glanced over his shoulder then stopped, everyone following his example as he looked at the team in confusion.

"Where's Oikawa?" He asked, an exasperated expression appearing on his face.

Kiku finally noticed the absence of their Captain, looking up at the boys as they discussed.

"Ah, uh…" Yahaba hesitated, glancing around nervously.

"What is it? Fess up." Mizoguchi asked, frowning.

"Girls of other schools have him in their clutches," He explained sheepishly.

No one was surprised, especially not the two coaches who were, unfortunately, used to this sort of events. Unflinching, Irihata spoke up with a stern voice:

"Iwaizumi."

"Yes." The Ace said with a hard voice.

Everyone startled at the dark aura surrounding him as he went back to the outside of the gymnasium, angrily stomping his feet as he looked for his friend.

"I wouldn't want to be Oikawa right now…" Mattsun murmured.

"We're lucky we have Iwaizumi-san, he's the only one Oikawa-san listens to…"

"I feel sorry for the team Oikawa will go to if Iwaizumi doesn't follow," Matsukawa added, Kiku glancing at him curiously.

She knew that Iwaizumi wanted to go to a different university and team as Oikawa, so they could evolve as individuals and mostly, so he could know his true value without the setter.

Aoba Jousai went ahead, not waiting for their Captain and Vice-Captain even if they were back faster than they had thought – Iwaizumi was still scolding Oikawa who was whining about how mean and unfair he was… The usual mayhem.

The team went to the seats right above Karasuno's match to observe their quick combination – Kiku had vaguely seen it during the practice match but her focus had been on Hajime and not the other team. She recognized the orange-haired boy who had been panicking most of the practice match but he seemed much better now, not phased much by the stress of the competition.

Talking about the stress of the competition…

Kiku glanced around nervously and, instinctively, inched closer to Makki and Mattsun, both glancing at her curiously as she forced the middle-blocker to move away so she could sit in the middle, clenching her notebook tightly.

"Aaah… I'm so nervous…! How can you be so relaxed, all of you?" She whined, hiding her face behind her book – her hair wasn't effective enough anymore.

"It's just the beginning of the preliminaries and we're a top four team," Makki answered with a shrug.

"We're secured for the first match. Even the second I think." Mattsun added.

"No need to stress, we'll go to Nationals," Hanamaki declared.

He didn't have a particularly strong voice or determined expression, but there was an easy-going firmness that immediately reassured Kiku. For the last three years the team had reached the finals and faced Shiratorizawa – this time, once again, they'll get there and this year, they'll beat Ushiwaka.

The two absentmindedly looked at Karasuno warming-up while Oikawa and Iwaizumi finally reached the rest of their team and leaned over the railing to greet the team of crows.

"Yoohoo~ Tobio-chan, Chibi-chan~ How is the freak duo doing~?" He asked with his usual happy-go-lucky voice, waving at the first-years a few meters downwards – and hiding Iwaizumi from view in the same time.

Hajime quickly slapped his hand away, glaring at him while he moaned in pain.

"That hurt, Iwa-chan…" He mumbled before his gaze was attracted to a player of Karasuno in particular, "Huh? They have a libero. He wasn't there for the practice match."

"And that big guy wasn't there, either," Iwaizumi added, noticing the number three.

They noticed a new coach working for the team and watched for some more minutes the warm-up of Karasuno. Iwaizumi was about to join Kiku (and the others) when he remembered something he had forgotten to do before coming here. He put down his bag next to Mattsun and turned to the others:

"I forgot to go get the schedule for the teams with the hours we'll have to go warming-up," he mumbled to himself.

"I'll go get it for you!" Kiku exclaimed enthusiastically, standing up suddenly.

She smiled up at Hajime, impatient to be helpful to the boys and she knew Iwaizumi wanted to watch Karasuno for as long as possible. He seemed grateful and after giving her the indication, she went off running down the stairs.

"Y'know," Makki started, noticing Iwaizumi staring at the manager going off, "Doing something for you… it's the shy way of sucking off your dick. You should ask her, she'd probably say yes."

Hajime instantly whipped around and glared, disliking whenever his friends made such suggestions:

"She would _not_ say yes and I don't need to ask her and– and just stop that! She's just being kind and helpful!" He hissed.

"But she would still say yes," Mattsun remarked.

"You haven't noticed how she looks at you, Iwa-chan~" Oikawa said proudly.

Before Iwaizumi could answer, someone else arrived, attracting everyone's attention on the young woman who had arrived.

Kiku gathered all the papers Hajime had asked her, checked one last time she had everything, then went back to where Aoba Jousai was waiting. Not wanting to spend too much time _away_ from him, she hurried, running up the stairs.

"Iwaizumi-san!" She called.

Two well-dressed women stepped aside as she ran in the middle, barely noticed by Kiku, her whole attention taken by Iwaizumi.

"Here is what you asked for! The hours of your match and the list of teams for the Inter-High! I added the hour you'll have to start warming-up!" The girl exclaimed happily, handing him some papers.

The Ace immediately grinned and nodded:

"Thanks, Akiyama-san. You're as perfect as ever!"

He froze, a deep blush appearing on his face while Kiku's heart sped up happily and she glanced down, just as blushy.

"I-I meant… your… uh… the… what you do… great job…" Iwaizumi stammered.

He lifted up one hand to give her a manly punch on the shoulder but decided against it and ended up not knowing what to do with his hand and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, so he read the papers she had given him but both were blushing too much to focus on anything. Kiku noticed his awkward behavior and couldn't help but smile – not only he was adorable but… he was being so because of her and nothing could make her happier.

The others snickered behind but neither the manager nor the Ace cared much about it.

Suddenly, while Kiku was busy staring at Hajime, he caught sight of something going on behind them and whipped around.

"OI! You two! _Don't!"_ He screamed at Oikawa and… a young girl who was standing there and Kiku didn't know.

"We aren't doing anything, Iwa-chan!"

"Yeah, well, I know better! Have a look at this! You're the one who should have taken care of it considering you're the Captain!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, throwing the papers at his friend who caught them before it could hit his face.

"I was busy!"

"Busy flirting, yeah!"

"Oh my…" The girl murmured, stepping towards Akiyama, "Are they always like this?"

Kiku startled and blushed when this person she didn't know talked to her. It took her a moment to answer, and nodded to her question.

"T-they're… they're a l-little s-stressed… because of… the I-Inter-high… It's their last year to win against… Shiratorizawa after all…" She answered shyly, glancing quickly at the pretty girl.

"Oh… I'm Kanemoto Ayaka, by the way," she introduced herself with a smile.

"A-Aki… Akiyama Kiku… I-I'm… their manager… I suppose…" She continued, hesitating a little because she was still new to this job.

"I'm the manager of a flock of crazy volleyball players as well so I know how complicated it is…" Ayaka sighed, "There are two other managers, though. It must be really tough to handle it all on your own!"

"I-it's o-okay…" Kiku murmured, blushing and glancing down.

The two girls started glancing around – Ayaka at the team, and Kiku at the girl and her friends. Kanemoto Ayaka sounded familiar but… she didn't remember when and where she had heard this name.

Not realizing she had started staring, Ayaka turned to Kiku curiously – silently asking her why she seemed so lost. Blushing a little, like always with people she didn't know, Kiku spoke up hesitantly, glancing between Ayaka and Oikawa:

"A-are you… hmm… here to support someone…?" She asked hesitantly.

"Not really, not yet, at least," Ayaka answered calmly, "I'm here to have a look at the teams, perhaps find some promising athletes. I mostly want to see Shiratorizawa and Aoba Jousai playing – hoping they'll both reach the finals, but I'm not worried about that. After all, Shiratorizawa is the first of the prefecture and Aoba Jousai has Tooru-san and Iwaizumi-san, and the rest of the team is good as well."

Kiku glanced up at Ayaka curiously then tilted her head on a side:

"Tooru… san? Are you… his… his _girlfriend?"_ She asked in a hushed voice.

Ayaka looked back at her then jerked her head backwards, laughing loudly.

"What a stupid idea! Tooru-san! Your manager thinks we're dating!" She exclaimed, turning around.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow but Oikawa laughed as well while Kiku felt like going to bury herself in a hole out of embarrassment:

"Kiku-chan! You've met my girlfriend, why would you think Ayaka-chan is another one? I have eyes only for my one and only~!"

"Your one and only of two _weeks_ ," Iwaizumi added but he was ignored by the setter who continued.

" _Three_ _weeks_." Oikawa corrected calmly, "And Ayaka-chan is pretty but I wouldn't want my life to end – her boyfriend wouldn't like knowing people think us a couple!" He exclaimed good-heartedly.

Ayaka chuckled while Kiku blushed in embarrassment:

"I-I! I'm s-so sorry! I-I didn't mean! I meant! I-I didn't know…! Y-you had a b-boyfriend K-Kanemoto-san…" She stammered awkwardly, avoiding looking at anyone.

"It's all right, you couldn't know! It's just funny! Koutarou will laugh too – I hope. Otherwise he might come here to kill Tooru-san. I hope you don't need your setter too much?" She asked, turning towards the few players who were sitting nearby.

"H-hey!" Oikawa exclaimed at once.

"Not really, you can bring your boyfriend," Iwaizumi answered with a smirk.

" _IWA-CHAN!"_

"He's a top five Ace, right?" Seijou's Ace continued, ignoring his friend's whining.

Ayaka instantly perked up, stars appearing in her eyes as she spoke of her Bokuto Koutarou:

"Yeees~! He's so strong and talented! He's the number four! And I'm sure he could beat Ushijima-san because if he wasn't left-handed his power would be beaten by my Koutarou! Kou will be sponsored next year, you know? He's your future teammate, Tooru-san! But my Koutarou is so strong and handsome and powerful and skilled and–"

Ayaka's cheerful speech was cut by a whistle from a referee. She glanced down at the courts, undisturbed, while everyone blinked at her outburst of love – it had been as if talking about Koutarou had made flowers and stars appear all around her. Everyone's focus turned towards the court where the teams lined up, even if they had been quite stunned by Ayaka's sudden outburst of love.

"She could go on for hours, I'm sure," Iwaizumi whispered to Oikawa.

"Like you when you talk about Kiku-chan, then~?" He answered in the same tone.

Iwaizumi glared at him, but the flush on his cheeks made him less convincing.

"Miss Ayaka, you are expected soon," Hanae reminded her.

"I'll watch the beginning of the match of Karasuno then I'll go," she answered with a nod.

After the referee's whistle announcing the end of warm-up, all the teams about to play lined up for their first, and perhaps last, match of the Inter-High. A ceremonious atmosphere fell on the gymnasium, Aoba Jousai calmed down and both Ayaka and Kiku glanced at the courts.

Silence hung in the air, the usual excitement of matches resonating ceremoniously. Kiku remained standing next to Iwaizumi and her heart sped up – she had never seen first matches and it was so exciting, this atmosphere, how everyone was holding their breathes…

The referee breathed in his whistle once more and all players bowed at once:

"Let's play!" They all shouted.

After seeing the line-up of Karasuno, Kiku – as well as Ayaka – seemed confused. The black-haired girl asked outloud what Kiku was wondering in silence.

"Such a short boy plays Middle-blocker?" Ayaka asked, tilting her head on a side, staring at the orange-haired one.

"Don't underestimate him, he's got more speed and jump than most players, especially considering his height," Iwaizumi said, leaning against the railing he was close enough to Kiku for their arms to almost touch.

"Hmpf! He's nothing without Tobio-chan!" Oikawa commented, sitting in the seats.

Kiku knew she should have focused on the match going on down there but the only thing she could think of was Hajime's elbow touching hers. She regretted there were clothes in between but even through the layers, she could feel his warmth. It was comforting, soothing… She wanted to lean in closer and be wrapped into his arms and–

Kiku's thoughts were suddenly interrupted when she felt someone's foot pushing against her hip, towards Hajime. She bumped lightly into him – just enough for their arms to collide and if Kiku blushed, he didn't notice a thing, too absorbed into the match as he was…

"Wow, that's awesome power…" Iwaizumi commented after number three had marked a point.

Kiku looked down in a panic, realizing that Karasuno had marked the first two points without her noticing and couldn't help but intervene:

"Y-you're more powerful and reliable… Iwaizumi-san!" Kiku piped up, bouncing enthusiastically.

"R-really?" He said, blinking at her while flowers started appearing around them.

"You're in the top ten, it's obvious you're more powerful, Iwaizumi-san. Their play is rather ordinary." Ayaka continued, disappointed. "I don't see what's so incredible about–"

The number ten, Hinata, the short Middle-blocker, ran, jumped and BAM! The ball was slammed on the other side before any blocker had time to react or anyone had time to see anything.

Ayaka's mouth fell open and she blinked, not knowing what just happened. It had felt as if this tiny, black-clad player had flown in the air to mark the point, too fast to be seen.

Kiku blinked, she hadn't had time to see what had happened. The number ten had flown and then – the ball was slammed on the other side's floor.

"W-what… what just happened?!" Ayaka exclaimed, whipping towards Aoba Jousai's players for an explanation.

Iwaizumi chuckled, while Oikawa huffed, Kiku had already seen the freak combination from afar during the practice match – but it was so much more impressive up-close and during a competition… She hoped Aoba Jousai wouldn't have to face Karasuno…

"Kageyama tosses the ball directly into the shrimp's hand, he doesn't have to look where the ball goes, it'll land in his hand when he swings."

"I-is this even _possible?"_ Ayaka asked in confusion.

"It is when you're a genius setter," Iwaizumi answered with a shrug.

Oikawa huffed once again and rolled his eyes but didn't add anything.

Reminded by her assistant that she had to go, Ayaka wished good luck to Aoba Jousai and after saying something to Oikawa, she left. Kiku watched her go then focused once again on the match going on. She felt the same push on her hip and this time, she bumped into Hajime's side. He barely wavered but looked down at her curiously, she looked away and blushed and he shrugged it off. As soon as his attention was off her, Kiku stepped away and glared behind her, at Hanamaki whose long leg was pushing her towards Iwaizumi. He chuckled and tried once again to push her but she kicked his leg right in the shin and he ended up curling up in a ball and whining while punching off Mattsun who was now making fun of him.

The team watched Karasuno for a good part of their match, Kiku taking notes and Hajime glancing over her shoulder to add his remarks as well – Mattsun told him to stop staring from above at her breasts which made him glare at the middle-blocker but either Kiku hadn't heard or she didn't care. After that, though, it was hard for Hajime to look over her shoulder in her notebook and not notice the curve of her breasts, even covered by clothes. It was even worse when she opened the zipper of her jacket – and the snickering of the three idiots in his back didn't help _at all_. Finally, the match ended, Karasuno easily winning against Tokonami.

"Do they realize they have another match this afternoon?" Kindaichi asked, still watching some players of Karasuno.

Kiku overheard this and stopped from rummaging through her bag, looking up at her boys curiously. She knew that several players had bad blood with some of Karasuno's – which might explain why they felt so concerned about this team, other than just the preoccupation of a possible future opponent.

"I mean, it was impossible for the other team to make a comeback, they should've conserved their energy–" Kindaichi continued before being cut by Oikawa who stood up from his seat.

"I'm glad they didn't. We got to see them be serious. Although, we didn't get to see the freak quick…"

"The match on that court's done, too. Datekou won handedly." Makki intervened, coming back from the match he had watched instead of Karasuno's.

They all glanced at Datekougyou's players meeting after the match and drinking water.

"So it'll be Karasuno versus Datekou. Who will win?" Kindaichi asked.

Kiku glanced around as no one answered until Iwaizumi straightened up and squarred his shoulders.

"Let's go. It won't matter if we don't win." He said.

They all followed him and after gathering all the players spread around the seats to watch the matches of their own wishes, they went to warm-up on another court.

"Oikawa, Iwaizumi," Mizoguchi called the Captain and Vice-Captain as the team started stretching their muscles for warm-up, "We'll watch the beginning of the match between Karasuno and Datekou. We'll let you handle the warming-up and be sure to watch for the clock. Kiku-chan, we're counting on you to help them out!"

"Oooss!" They answered.

"Y-yes!" Kiku squeaked, startling and flushing to have expectations put on her.

At ease, because as much shenanigans their team might cause, they _at least_ had Iwaizumi and Akiyama watching over them, and they were used to be left on their own during competitions. As soon as Irihata and Mizoguchi were gone, Kiku whipped towards Oikawa and Iwaizumi and while they were stepping away, she grabbed their forearms, forcing them to an abrupt stop. The setter glanced at her curiously while the Ace blinked, flushing lightly at her touch.

"What did they mean by 'help out'? What should I do? Where do I go? What do you need? When do I have to do things? What–"

"Cam down, calm down, Kiku-chan~ We can handle the warm-up – just check one last time that we have enough water bottles and energy drinks for the match and keep an eye on what we do. If we do less good than usual, tell us, if we make mistakes, warn us…"

"Keep an eye on the time – we have to move in half an hour. If we spend too much time on an exercise in particular, remind us to go to the next one. You'll do good, and we're used to work on our own, don't worry about us." Iwaizumi added with a smile.

They moved towards the courts, giving orders to the team as they warmed-up. Kiku did as they asked of her and kept a close eye on the minutes ticking by but even if she wanted to be useful, they could handle it on their own. It was as if Iwaizumi had a clock in his head – every time Kiku's watch indicated that five minutes of practice of a certain exercise had gone by, he would announce they'd switch to the next exercise. At the moment, she felt useless and admirative. Useless because she wasn't doing much – all the balls were taken by players who weren't regulars, Oikawa and Iwaizumi could handle on their own and the team was so balanced that they didn't need her remarks. But for all of these reasons she was in awe – they all worked so smoothly, so effortlessly… They didn't need a coach to watch over them to know what to do, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were such a good duo that they didn't even need to talk to each other to know what to do next – they had years of experience working together to thank for.

Admiring from afar how well the team was doing, and mostly how Oikawa and Iwaizumi were moving and deciding as one mind, she felt jealous of their close relationship… She couldn't be like that with Hajime, only Oikawa knew him this way. Only these two could have such a fusional relationship.

When the time of the warm-up was ending, the two coaches came to take them on the court, they put their jackets on to not let their muscles cool and moved onto the court for the official warm-up.

Kiku noticed Oikawa, Iwaizumi and some other players, as well as her uncle and Mizoguchi, glancing at the court where Karasuno and Datekougyou were playing. They saw the freak-quick that stunned everyone for a moment before the whole gymnasium cheered for the incredibility of this quick.

"And there you have it, the monster quick!" Iwaizumi remarked, Kiku glancing up at them quickly.

"It sure is powerful…"

"It's scary, it's awful," Irihata added with an easy-going smile, not looking scared at all.

"That genius gets on my nerves…" Oikawa mumbled.

"Is it really that impressive? This quick and Karasuno's setter?" Kiku asked, finally expecting an answer about this question that had been on her mind for a while.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi seemed to ponder this question before answering:

"It hurts to admit it but it _is_ impressive – the setter is such a genius that he can send the toss directly into the spiker's hand. It requires a level of skills that would take _years_ of practice to reach, if it is even _reachable_ for people like us…" Oikawa started with a pout on his face.

"Other than the setter's high skills, what is stunning is how fast this spiker moves. This number ten… you don't know what's happening that the ball has landed – it's annoying to not see it coming." Iwaizumi added, frowning at the reminder of the practice match against Karasuno some time ago.

Kiku glanced at Karasuno once again and even though the speed and skills were incredible… she couldn't imagine such a tiny spiker and a good setter beat Aoba Jousai. She hoped at least that her team was more complete and stronger than this reborn team.

The crows won the first set and it seemed that the entire gymnasium's attention was onto the number ten. It was hard not to notice him whenever he was moving back to the front – even without looking directly, his presence could sparkle throughout the entire gymnasium, his loud voice resonating every time he called for a toss…

"He just keeps screaming…" Kiku remarked, earning a look from the other third-years, "His mere presence is incredible, does he really need to call for a toss _that much?"_ She asked, a little confused.

Sometimes there was no need to call for a toss – how many times did she see Oikawa tossing to a spiker who knew he'd be the one to spike without a single word uttered?

Oikawa stared at Kiku then back at Karasuno, observing closely Kageyama's perfect form and the shrimp's erratic moves.

"It can bring motivation to call for a toss," Makki remarked with a shrug, "Like, you're telling that you're ready to receive the toss and you feel ready to be trusted with the point. I suppose that for the setter too, it's not a bad thing. Right, Oikawa?"

"Mmm…" He hummed, his gaze still fixated on the breathtaking duo.

Kiku stared at him, stunned by his seriousness… It was so rare to see him _so_ … _himself_. She was observant enough to know that Oikawa Tooru was keeping a mask for everyone – the charming, handsome and popular student who played the role he had been given: the Prince of Aoba Jousai. But when he was on the court, he was a King and it was probably the closest to his true self that he showed – but who was he really? She couldn't tell, perhaps Iwaizumi knew his friend's true self but even that, she wasn't sure… Oikawa Tooru, as easy to read as he was, remained a beautiful mystery.

Aoba Jousai only had one match for the day but the next one, they'll play either Karasuno High-School or Datekougyou High-school. Kiku couldn't tell which team she wanted less for her team to face. While the boys were warming-up, the sound of their calls and the squeaking of their shoes reassuring her, Kiku checked that everything was here and packed.

"Waterbottles, check. Energy drinks, check… First-aid kit, check… Switching cards, check… Food for the famished, check…" She mumbled to herself, glancing one last time that everything was here and within reach if anything was needed during the match.

"You're forgetting the most important thing."

Kiku startled and jumped on her feet, whipping around and flushing when she faced Iwaizumi. He was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his jersey giving him this aura of Ace, the number four proudly standing on his muscular chest. She was a little stunned by his handsomeness for a moment but then, his words hit her and she shook her head – partly because she felt confused and mostly to clear her head from thoughts that had nothing to do with the match to come.

She glanced over her shoulder and all around to check yet again…

 _Waterbottles. Energy drinks. First-aid kit. Switching cards. Food_ … She thought, mentally counting every item.

"W-what…?" She hesitated, not understanding and turning back towards the Ace.

He smiled, amused by her frantic and adorable behavior, desperately trying to please and be useful. Hajime stepped towards her and she froze at the sudden proximity but he put a hand on her shoulder then leaned down behind her. Kiku caught the scent of his shampoo and sweat mixing together, his warmth within reach. Her hand trembled, about to reach for him but just as quickly as he had leaned behind her, he was straightening up again.

Kiku stared up at him, and felt something in her hands… She kept staring, lost in his beautiful gaze. Hajime smiled and almost chuckled at her gaze stuck on him but before he could make a sound, he felt a nice feeling filling him. Something warm in his entire body – his cheeks probably blushed and he prayed it could pass for the effort of the warm-up. They stared at each other for a moment until someone coughed loudly. They startled and Hajime quickly stepped away from Kiku, the girl glancing down at what she had in her hands without quite remarking what it was. Both blushed and glanced awkwardly at Mizoguchi who was pretending to be watching over the team.

"Uuuh…" Hajime hesitated.

He was about to turn around and run away for cover (with his teammates even though he could see them mock him from here) but Kiku spoke up shyly, still staring down at what he had put in her hands after taking it from the bench.

"U-um…?"

He glanced back at Kiku then smirked at her confused expression:

"You're our manager, right? Take notes of everything happening on court – that's the most important thing for our improvement." He said.

She glanced up at him, fingers clenching tightly around the notebook he had put in her hands. He smiled then calmly walked towards his teammates as they lined up to shake hands with their opponents.

"Smooth move, back there," Makki commented while they waited.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Iwaizumi answered seriously despite the flush on his cheeks.

" _As if_ you didn't do it on purpose to lean so close to Kiku earlier." Mattsun added.

"You could have at least try to grab something – her breasts, her ass, _something_. You're making me sad – such a wasted opportunity…" Makki sighed.

"You're a pervert."

"Yes, and proud of it." He smirked, glancing at his friend who, he knew, was getting embarrassed at the mere thought of touching Kiku.

The flush on his cheeks was enough proof despite his furrowed brows. The Ace huffed but then, Oikawa arrived at their sides and they fell silent.

The official warm-up reached an end and after Oikawa and the other team's Captain decided on who was to serve first – Aoba Jousai, Oikawa remarked that they were brave and should be treated worthily (Kiku shivered at his smile and was pretty sure that his serve would be explosive…) – they lined up. Kiku's heart was beating hard, it was the first time she was so close to the team and the match itself. She usually watched a match or two, usually the finals, back in the seats, as discreet as possible while everyone cheered loudly for their school. But now… being in the middle of the action, seeing up-close what was happening, she was taken in… She wanted her team to win. She had seen their training, their practices, their good and bad days, they had done so much they deserved to win. This first match, the next, every single one and go to Nationals and show to the whole of Japan that Aoba Jousai was _that_ strong. They were a complete, strong team that deserved to be noticed as more than _"the team that always lost to Shiratorizawa"._ Oikawa deserved this acknowledgment. Iwaizumi deserved it. They _all_ deserved to be shown to Japan as the team that they truly were: a King leading his Generals with the skills of a maestro.

The whistle resonated and the two lines of players separated by courts and a net bowed down.

"Let's play!" They shouted.

Kiku, and the coaches, bowed to the other team's coaches and the match started.

As Oikawa had said… they respectfully treated the opposite team's bravery. As usual, Aoba Jousai's plays went smoothly and effectively, the points quickly racking up. Despite three weeks without playing, Iwaizumi was as powerful as usual and Kiku could see that over the time of the match he got more and more lively and confident – he hadn't admitted it but she had noticed that he was twice more careful about his wrist but now, he knew he was healed and could play to his utmost. The Great Ace playing to its best after weeks was a heavy toil for the other team but when the King threw his killing serves… it destroyed them.

The first set was won just as Karasuno won their match against Datekougyou.

"Keep doing what you do, you're doing well," Irihata said calmly to his players in between sets.

"Here, Iwaizumi-san," Kiku said with a smile, handing him a towel and bottle, "You're doing particularly well and your wrist is fine. Right?"

"I'm fine, don't worry, I'm as good as usual. As if I had never been hurt," he answered with a smile, his heart fluttering happily to know her concerned about his well-being.

"Great, I'm glad, then…" She answered with a huge smile.

"Get married already," Makki muttered as he walked behind them.

They froze and blushed and a moment later, while Iwaizumi was throwing his bottle at his head and screaming threats of death, Kiku turned around and ignored her uncle's long stare.

"Let's wrap up this match, shall we~?" Oikawa said with his usual singing voice, taking the lead as he walked back onto the court.

His team followed him with determined steps, ready to take the second set.

As expected, Aoba Jousai quickly racked up points whether it was from their set-up, team spirit, power or… Oikawa's serves (she jumped off the seat at every single one of them when it landed on the other side with a horrendous sound). The only one nervous was Kiku. She was carefully writing down everything happening on both sides but mostly focusing on her team and their results. It was not a surprise when Seijou calmly took the first set and advanced to their second without any stress whatsover. At this point, Kiku almost felt bad for the other team who kept panicking whenever Oikawa was serving but he wasn't sparing them. The setter was so different when he was playing volleyball – not just because he was serious but he seemed much more… _more_.

"Just one more point and we win…" Mizoguchi said with a satisfied smile.

Kiku glanced at the score and before she had time to look closely, Oikawa was serving once again, sending the ball over the net with a frightening power and accuracy.

The whistle resonated.

End of match – Aoba Jousai won.

"Time to see who will be our next opponent," Irihata started, standing up with an easy-going smile.

After comments for both teams from their coaches, they started packing away their stuff. Kiku lifted up her bag over her shoulder then glanced up, noticing Karasuno in the seats. From the looks on their faces, they had observed the last bits of the match of Aoba Jousai.

"Akiyama-san?"

She turned back towards Iwaizumi who was the last one, waiting for her and they followed the rest of the team.

"Karasuno High-school won against Datekougyou, which means that we'll face them next. We'll go back to the school then, we'll discuss today's results and make a plan for tomorrow's match." Irihata announced to the team gathered around him.

"OOSS!" They shouted.

After a quick interview Oikawa gave to the tv crews while Iwaizumi took care of guiding everyone into the bus, they climbed into the bus and rode back to the high-school, Kiku running to keep up with everyone's long legs as they moved towards the gymnasiums. After long discussions when they mentioned the rare mistakes of their players and what could have been avoided during the match, and tomorrow's plan against Karasuno's freak-quick, they moved to the changing-room. Once everyone was gone and only Iwaizumi and Oikawa were left, the Ace glanced into his friend's bag and noticed – without surprise – the recording of Karasuno VS Datekou's match.

"Hey, make sure not to stay up all night." He told Oikawa who turned to him with an overly sweet smile.

"Iwa-chan, are you my mom?" He asked gently.

Iwaizumi's face immediately turned murderous, the setter suddenly afraid for his life:

"Sorry, sorry, sorry! I promise I won't! I promise I'll arrive in top condition!" He exclaimed.

Knowing that he would watch to impossible hours the match but would make sure to arrive in ~top condition~ Iwaizumi decided to trust him.

"Stop being stupid, Crappy Oikawa." He started, grabbing his bag, "I'm shutting the club room doors, so get out of here, Trashykawa!"

"Don't shorten the insults!" He exclaimed back, grabbing his bag and running after him.

"Trashy Oikawa!"

"No need to rephrase it!"

While Oikawa whined about it, they left the high-school grounds but Hajime's attention was drawn to a familiar silhouette walking away, dragging her bike to her side. He opened his lips to call Kiku but she was already climbing onto her bike and riding off into the darkness. In-between whines Oikawa noticed this and stared at the girl then back at his friend who now looked like a kicked puppy…

"For someone who acts so tough, you really are just a romantic in the heart~" He said with a huge smile.

Iwaizumi grabbed his friend's jaws in his fingers, a dark aura surrounding him while he screamed.

"Waish, waish waish! I'm SHORRY IYA-SHAN!" Oikawa shouted, his handsome face deformed by his friend's hold on him.

"Just get moving! I wanna go home!" He muttered, letting him go and starting to go.

* * *

 _Unfortunately, yet again, not much happens... Two more IH chapters then, the next arc will start - and believe me, you'll love it._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : SETTERS' SHOWDOWN_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	28. Setters' Showdown

_Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited!_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Non vedo l'ora quando Ayaka e Kou arrivano ancora una volta in questa storia. Anche, nel prossimo capitolo di Sowlmate, incontriamo Akane! ;) Hey, capitolo 31 è più vicino...! ;)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Awkward Iwaizumi is best Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi is best Iwaizumi. All evrsions of Iwaizumi. I love Iwaizumi, he's so amazing. :D Ayaka will show up again in this story, and it won't be passages we already know from Sowlmates! ;)_

 _ **Krisia** : Ayaka isn't Oikawa's love interest - his love interest is... not exactly "missing" but she doesn't appear in this story. We'll hear about her but that's it. AYAKA IS BOKUTO KOUTAROU'S ONE AND ONLY!_

 _ **Houshikun001** : My~ You are very welcome! ;) I hope the emotions from the showdow with crows were good enough - I'm mostly impatient for next chapter, with Shiratorizawa's match! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXVIII : Setters' Showdown

" _Winning isn't everything – but wanting to win is."_

― **Vince Lombardi Jr.**

" _Why would I want to win anything other than a beautiful game?"_

― **Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear**

" _Winning has nothing to do with racing. Most days don't have races anyway. Winning is about struggle and effort and optimism, and never, ever, ever giving up."_

― **Amby Burfoot, Runner's Guide to the Meaning of Life**

" _The greater the loyalty of a group toward the group, the greater is the motivation among the members to achieve the goals of the group, and the greater the probability that the group will achieve its goals."_

― **Rensis Likert**

" _Remember teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability."_

― **Patrick Lencioni, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable**

 _Sendai Gymnasium, second day of the Inter-High…_

When Aoba Jousai entered Sendai's gymnasium, Kiku noticed that the halls were less packed than the previous day from all the teams who had had their competition stopped. She glanced up at the board with all the groups and teams who had won up to this point. She observed it a moment then ran after the boys, catching up with Makki and Mattsun, Oikawa and Iwaizumi just before them – the Ace was making sure the setter wouldn't get caught by girls once again with a tight hand on his shoulder and a death glare.

"H-hey, i-if you win this match against Karasuno, and win this afternoon's match… you'll go to finals, right?" She asked.

"Not _'if',_ we _will_ win – we'll even win against Shiratorizawa." Mattsun answered, "If we don't… Oikawa will cry and it's too much of a pain to deal with…"

Kiku glanced up at the Ace before her, so close and yet, she didn't dare reach for him. He didn't seem to have heard anything they just said but–

With a gasp, she suddenly fell forward and hit Iwaizumi's back, the Ace immediately going to a stop and spinning around. He put a hand on her shoulder to keep her steady, glancing down worriedly at their manager.

"You're okay, there? What happened?" He asked.

"N-nothing… j-just… tripped…" She muttered, blushing in embarrassment.

"Be careful," he answered, continuing as if nothing had happened.

"You should try holding her hand to make sure she doesn't trip again~" Oikawa remarked.

Blushing, they ignored him – or rather, Iwaizumi grabbed his collar and dragged him away… and Kiku immediately whipped around and glared at Makki who had put his foot before hers to make her trip into Iwaizumi _intentionally_. Oikawa had noticed this and turned around, lifting up his thumbs up towards the wing-spiker after his little intervention – even if Iwaizumi hadn't reacted much to it.

After stretching their muscles, they moved to the court for the official warm-up, Karasuno doing the same just on the other side of the net. Aoba Jousai's cheering squad was shouting from the seats, giving more enthusiasm to the players. And there was also…

"Oikawa-kun~! Do you best!"

Kiku startled at the high-pitched voice then glanced up at the girls here for Oikawa and Oikawa only…

"What do they even find him? He's not that great compared to Iwaizumi-san…" She murmured to herself, glancing to her Ace.

Her uncle heard and stared at her but after realizing what she just said, she blushed and walked away from him, checking that everything was ready for the match.

It didn't take long for Karasuno, despite not having any cheering squad, to shout loud enough to cover Oikawa's fans's screams. They were definitely determined to win, but so was Seijou. After Karasuno was done with their warm-up, it was Seijou's turn, Oikawa giving remarks to every toss he sent to have an idea of how the spikers felt today.

"Nice, Makki! Super sharp!" He complimented the wing-spiker who answered with his raised fingers in a victory sign.

Next was Kindaichi, who was still not used to a setter keeping his well-being and preferences in mind.

"Sorry, Kindaichi… That one was a little high…" He apologized to the startling first-year.

"Uh, no… yes!"

Next was Iwaizumi who got his favorite, usual toss but of course, Oikawa couldn't just give an easy compliment.

"Iwa-chan, are you sure you're not trying too hard? You don't have to try and show off. None of the girls will be looking at you, anyway – well none except Kiku-chan~!"

Putting the stray balls back into the carts, Kiku looked up and saw from afar Iwaizumi trying to murder Oikawa, held back by Kindaichi and no one looking surprised. The setter only laughed good-heartedly but still ran away in case Kindaichi's hold were to falter.

"What did he say again?" Kiku asked Makki after pushing the cart.

He dropped a ball into it and smirked.

"Do you _really_ want to know~?" He teased.

She raised an eyebrow but before she could obtain any answer, the referee whistled for the end of warm-up. Iwaizumi calmed down – but still threw bad looks in the direction of the Captain – and they lined up. There was a tense, short moment until the whistle resonated.

"Let's play!" They all shouted, bowing down.

Kiku noticed Oikawa talking to the other team's setter – it was the number nine, the genius setter who seemed to have a history with everyone on the team…

"Is it going to be fine?" She asked Iwaizumi as soon as he was nearby.

He glanced in the same direction as her just as Oikawa walked back towards his team. Seeing his determined gaze, the fire burning within it, the Ace nodded.

"Yeah… he's been waiting for that for a long time…" He muttered, reminding himself to keep an eye on Oikawa during the match.

After a quick reunion of the team together, Oikawa was the first one to put a foot on the court, shaking his wrists to make sure it hadn't cooled from the little bit of time without tossing.

"All right, let's do this… Now then, as usual…" He started.

He stopped and glanced over his shoulder, looking straight at his teammates. His gaze was so intense it froze everyone and filled their spirits with the strength and determination they'll need to win this match.

"I believe in all of you." He said with a voice that for once, had no mockery nor threatening tone.

It was just Oikawa Tooru, Grand King, setter and Captain of Aoba Jousai, trusting his teammates to win this match.

The usual dorky atmosphere surrounding the team disappeared and when they stepped on the court, it was a totally different team. It was the second strongest team of Miyagi prefecture, it was the most balanced team of Miyagi with the best setter of the Prefecture and sixth best Ace spiker of the country.

Kiku shivered and held onto her notebook tightly.

There were a few seconds where the teams showed their rotation then the referee whistled the beginning of the match. Kiku's heart missed a beat as Karasuno served first. It was received smoothly and immediately Iwaizumi and Matsukawa started running to spike – but Oikawa did it instead.

"Eh?" Kiku murmured, blinking.

The whistle resonated and the cheering squad congratulated the Captain for the first of many points marked:

"Setter dump? Right from the start? He's _so_ … waah…" Kiku murmured, writing down the results as Irihata chuckled at her reaction – he was only half-surprised by Oikawa's action and he hoped he'd keep playing like that, but it wasn't something he had to worry about.

Oikawa told something (probably snarky) to Karasuno's players who gritted their teeth at this.

"Go, go, Tooru! Push it, push it, Tooru!"

It was Mattsun's turn to serve, it was received and Karasuno's number ten made his crazy quick – but it was received by Makki (who was, for once, reliable, according to Kiku's notes) and this time, Oikawa went all out for another setter dump. He jumped to spike it but at the last moment he switched into the position of a set, tossing to Iwaizumi.

"W-wow…" Kiku murmured, in awe.

The team might have taken easy the previous day's match but today they were going all out – especially Oikawa. He was determined to show he was the best setter.

Another serve received and Karasuno went to attack – this time, there were two more spikers added to number ten – one on the left and the Ace for the back-attack. They jumped and froze when the setter made a dump. The ball landed right behind Iwaizumi, no one having moved as the point went to Karasuno. Kageyama said something to Oikawa Kiku didn't hear… but she knew that whatever it was, it set Oikawa on fire from the look on his face.

She shivered once again, glad she was the manager and not a player on the opposite court.

Next, Kageyama served and sent a beautiful home-run that made the players on Aoba Jousai smile for the most polite – chuckle for the most daring ones. Oikawa was the one to serve next, sending a powerful one right towards the libero. Kiku hissed, thinking he'd die or lose his arms but as shocking as it was, he received it easily. The plays continued and, surprising everyone, Oikawa asked for a time-out. The team gathered around him as he gave his explanations:

"I'm pretty sure I'm right about this. It's _'bring it'_ and _'to me'._ At first, I noticed that the shrimp would always yell something when he'd move in on the ball, and I thought he seemed pretty stupid – but then, Kiku-chan said something that made me think twice about it!"

Kiku blinked and everyone turned to her, making her blush but Oikawa continued calmly:

" _'His presence is incredible, does he need to call for a toss that much?'_ – you said that yesterday and, you were right. The shrimp is small but has a huge presence, Tobio-chan can send the toss directly into his hand – so there is no need for him to scream that much. But when they use that god-like quick attack, it appears they're using _'bring it',_ like _'bring it here'_ or _'bring it to me'_. And with a normal one…"

"…They're using _'to me',"_ Iwaizumi finished his sentence.

Oikawa nodded enthusiastically, the others taking in the information.

"But that shrimp's role is to be the decoy. They want us to focus our attention on him. So let's just set up a simple rule: when we hear _'bring it'_ , let's just have one person mark the shrimp, when we hear _'to me'_ , let's see where the toss goes before we jump. Okay?"

"OSS!" They all shouted.

"Considering we took a time-out this early when nothing's really happened yet, don't you think they realized that we've realized what they're doing?" Iwaizumi remarked, glancing over his shoulder at the other team's setter who was clenching his teeth.

"That's completely fine~! It's actually better if they realize it. If they know that we've realized they're using those signals, it might be minimal, but Tobio will panic." He answered.

Not for the first time, Kiku thought that Oikawa was actually a very scary and scheming person but kept it to herself. She understood the will to win at all costs – but by breaking the other team's mental strength, was it really fair? She didn't like that…

"Why do you look so gloomy?"

Kiku didn't realize this question was destined to her, until Makki hit the top of her head with his water bottle. She rubbed her forehead and glanced up at him, the others glancing at her from over their shoulder.

"We have an attack plan and we'll stop this crazy quick – we can't lose this way." He continued.

"Yeah but…"

"And it's thanks to you Oikawa figured it out, we wouldn't have been able to have an attack plan so quickly without you," Iwaizumi added with a smile.

"H-he would have figured it out eventually…" She murmured with a blush.

"Cheer up, Kiku-chan~! We can't have our manager-chan looking so gloom – not with a team with so many handsome people and, well~ _me~_ as Captain and main attraction of the match, there is no way–"

"Stop showing off!" Iwaizumi and Hanamaki exclaimed, slamming their hands in their Captain's back.

"AAGH!"

Oikawa jumped forward, pushed by their strength as the time-out was ending. They went back on the court and despite the smiles Irihata and Mizoguchi had had upon seeing their Captain leading the team so effectively, they became serious once again. Noticing his niece's dark expression, Irihata glanced down at her:

"You don't like their way of doing?" He asked.

She startled, surprised he figured it out so easily but he continued, glancing at Karasuno as they went back on the court:

"You're too kind, Kiku. You don't want your team losing but you don't want the other team losing as well. Isn't it right?"

"…Yes but… if they win, it'll be by breaking the number nine, um, Kageyama-kun's mental strength… I find it unfair that a team would win with such ways instead of their skills and power." She explained sheepishly, not wanting her uncle to think she was encouraging the other team.

He stared at her, a little stunned because if he knew she was kind, it was still incredible how much compassion she had for others – even opponents who might take away her team's chance to go to the next step.

"You're not wrong, but don't forget that Oikawa is afraid of Kageyama – he wants to crush him to prove he's the best setter. I don't say it's the right way to do but it's the only way. After all, they are both setters…"

Kiku glanced up at him curiously as he explained, watching over the teams as they exchanged balls, slowly getting points from one side or another.

"A setter leads the plan of attack, he brings out the potential of his teammates, but more importantly… he has to remain calm and keep thinking carefully to take the best decision, throughout the whole match. The best setters are the ones who can keep calm, the ones who have the capacity of analyzing the other team, to make choices, to be bold… If Kageyama breaks so easily just because we figured out their signal – he doesn't have the guts to be a setter."

"This… is what Oikawa-san is trying to prove… that he's the best setter…" Kiku whispered, slowly understanding how he thought, "But if he doesn't break, isn't he going to be stronger? It's not a good thing for Oikawa-san, right?" She asked, tilting her head on a side.

"Aaah… I don't understand Oikawa, he doesn't make much sense even for me… Everytime I think I finally understand this boy he does something incredible yet again and I'm stunned by his skills. He never listens to me anyway – I think the only one who knows what he has in mind might be Iwaizumi." Irihata concluded with a shrug, "As long as he leads the team effectively and they keep playing to their best, I have nothing to say. As long as their tactics are good and effective, I don't need to intervene."

Kiku looked back towards her team – they all trusted each other, trusting Oikawa first of all. But it might be possible thanks to their two coaches who were the first ones to trust their team.

Aoba Jousai got more points, spreading panic and chaos among Karasuno – Kageyama wasn't the only one aimed by the tactic of breaking their mental strength but now Kiku could tell that even if she didn't agree with this tactic… as long as the opponents were mentally strong enough, Seijou's ways didn't get to them. She wasn't sure about Kageyama, but the other members seemed to be doing fine…

 **18 – 11**

"Kageyama-kun is panicking, isn't he…?" Kiku remarked when his tosses kept getting faster and faster.

The coaches at her side didn't answer but it was enough to know how the first-year setter was doing.

After Oikawa and Kageyama faced each other to push the ball on one or the other court, and Oikawa won easily, it was when Kageyama fell. Not just because he landed on his behind, but everyone could see that his shoulders went down as well, that as he looked up at Oikawa, it wasn't at an adversary he had failed to win against. It was the gaze of fear of a boy who was overwhelmed by the strength of the setter he looked up to.

Proof of this fall of might, Kageyama then missed his toss and Aoba Jousai ended up marking the point.

 **20 – 11**

Without much surprise, the whistle resonated and Karasuno then switched setter. Kageyama had to leave the court, the number two of Karasuno arriving on it. Kiku checked on the list of players she had of Karasuno and blinked.

"He's a third-year…" She murmured, wondering how he must feel about a genius first-year taking his place as regular.

At first, Aoba Jousai panicked a little because the number two was such a different setter from Kageyama's blinding genius. Karasuno got point after point, annoying more and more Seijou. But as good as he was, "Mr Refreshing" as Oikawa called him had classic tactics and after some adjusting, and thanks to Oikawa's serve, they came back and got the first set.

 **25 – 15** – first set won by Aoba Jousai

"So, Karasuno's attacks… since we were assuming their only attack was the quick with Kageyama and that number ten, it totally throws us off when they do normal attacks." Iwaizumi started, after Kiku distributed towels and water bottles.

"We end up looking towards number ten too much," Matsukawa agreed.

"Iwa-chan, if you think too hard when you don't have a brain, you're going to get a headache!" Oikawa piped in.

Kiku rolled her eyes while he was being hit by the Ace – he had it coming… No one was surprised by their shenanigan, used to their banter to the point that Makki caught Oikawa's bottle before it'd fall.

"Will you be all right?" Kiku asked the boys.

Still fuming by the previous remark from his friend, Iwaizumi couldn't stop frowning when he turned towards her:

"Yeah! Of course we'll be all right! We'll win next set too, and we'll move to the next match!" He exclaimed.

He grabbed Oikawa by his collar without any tenderness, lifted him up easily from the floor, making him gasp. Then, Iwaizumi slammed his hand on his back, Oikawa crying out in pain and jumping forward as the team looked at them:

"We're not going to lose this match! Time to get our asses back together!" He exclaimed.

"YEAH!" They all screamed.

"Well~ well~" Oikawa started, putting his hands on his hips as he faced his team, "As Iwa-chan said… let's win the second set!" He exclaimed.

"OOOSSS!"

The second set started and despite their determination, Karasuno was close behind Aoba Jousai, tailing them. Neither team could pull ahead and half-way through the set, when Seijou's confidence to win started showing, Kageyama came back as setter. Immediately, he got a service ace from Watari.

"Even after being out, he can make such serves… it's scary…!" Kiku murmured.

"It'll be an amazing weapon when he'll be able to control the ball," her uncle added.

With Kageyama back, and with him, the god-like quick, the team had to get used to the plays yet again. When Karasuno arrived to the 20s first, they called for a time out and soon after, it was Karasuno's turn. The beanpole, number 11 on Karasuno, totally played with them and got several points with his tactic. Finally…

 **24 – 22**

"I can't believe Karasuno has a set point… what are they doing? They need to get it back…" Kiku muttered, not believing that such a little team could possibly get a set from hers.

BABAM!

The sound of Iwaizumi's spike resonate din the whole gymnasium, Kiku immediately perking up and grinning proudly.

"We won't let you have it!" He shouted.

 **24 – 23**

His teammates grinned while Kiku trembled on the bench.

"H-he's so strong…!" She exclaimed with a flush, only heard by the two coaches who sighed and smiled at her admiration for the Ace.

And then, it was Oikawa's turn to serve. Kiku was confident they could easily get back to win this set and the match – there was no way Oikawa would fail after all… He dribbled the ball a few times then looked at the other side with a frighteningly focused gaze. She noticed Iwaizumi saying something to Oikawa, they seemed incredibly serious and whatever it was, it made the Captain's determination get even more incredible.

There was a moment where Kiku stopped breathing, praying for this serve to break Karasuno's confidence and help Seijou win. Unfortunately, as powerful and breathtaking as Oikawa's serve was, it was received by the other side's libero – but it was a chance ball. Oikawa tossed to his Ace but despite his power, Iwaizumi hadn't expected a two men wall to come up – the ball landed on Seijou's court.

 **25 – 23** – Set won by Karasuno

The screams of joy from the crows covered Aoba Jousai's cheering. Kiku felt her heart break when Iwaizumi came back with his brows furrowed and his teeth clenched tightly – guilt. It was shining so brightly in his eyes it physically hurt her to see him like this…

She immediately went to him with a towel and water bottle but he was growling against himself and his missed spike. Makki was about to tell her to let him on his own, or to not mind the Ace ignoring her at the moment but before he could say a thing, Kiku went on her tiptoes and put the towel around his neck.

Surprised by her small gesture of comfort, Iwaizumi glanced at her as she blushed and walked towards the others to give them what they needed. Hajime's heart missed a beat but then, remembering he had failed making a deuce against Karasuno, and worried he had disappointed Kiku… his hands went to his hair to shake it viciously as he screamed.

"Damn it! I'm sorry!" He grunted.

"Don't mind," Hanamaki said casually while Oikawa laughed good-heartedly.

"Why are you laughing?! I'll punch you!" Iwaizumi shouted, probably about to go for blood.

"Stop saying you'll hit me all the time, Iwa-chan~ It's not a very attractive trait, you know~?" He answered, sending a very quick glance in Kiku's direction but it only made the Ace pout and glare at him darkly.

"Don't worry, I only say that to you, and I won't hit you!" He answered.

But Oikawa was done laughing and he became serious once again, thinking back on the last plays:

"Right then, doing a quick attack from the center would have been a cliché move. But apparently, Tobio-chan was able to read that I'd send to the left. Do you understand what this means? It means it's come down to not only methodical thinking, but, in the end, our effort, as well. My perfect trust with you, Iwa-chan."

"Like I'd ever want that with you," he answered stubbornly but no one could deny these two _had_ a perfect trust in each other.

"That just means they were making rather comprehensive decisions. What did Mr Refreshing tell Tobio-chan? The dictator king is somehow trying to become a decent King. What is this…? I'm really pissed off, and yet…" He continued with a raging voice.

He turned around, Kiku startling at his frightening expression while the rest of the team just followed him – they were used to this excitation whenever they faced great opponents and he was their Grand King after all.

"Hurry! Let's hurry up and finish the final set!" He exclaimed with a gaze burning in determination.

The third and final set begun even more tense than the first two. No team could pull ahead, both were grasping onto victory as if it'd cost them their lives to lose, the rallys were longer and the ball wouldn't fall on the court. Karasuno's attacks were incredible and their libero was more skilled. But Aoba Jousai didn't waver and continued to use their great set-ups and powerful attacks calmly. Overall, they obviously were the best team – more skills, more power, more experience. But what caused a real problem for Seijou was the wild beast, the number ten and his broad cross. Kageyama and the little monster managed to get several points with it until a time-out was necessary and the players had to gather to think of a way to counter it…

"What are we going to do about number ten's broad cross?" Matsukawa asked, the most annoyed, along with Kindaichi, by this small player who managed to get past their height and block.

Silence resonated, everyone thinking deeply, the cogs of their brains spinning.

"That broad cross, we'll let it fall." Irihata said.

"Let it fall? How?" Kindaichi asked, confused.

"That shrimp's broad is god-like. It's really fast but his body will go with the momentum, so he won't be able to redirect the ball." Oikawa explained.

He turned towards the coach who nodded, satisfied that the Captain could keep up so easily with his new tactic. Now knowing what to do, Oikawa turned back to his team:

"Instead of blocking that broad cross, we'll use a dig." He decided.

"Right!" Watari exclaimed.

"A useless block just gets in the way of receiving the ball." Iwaizumi added.

"No matter how difficult things get, don't forget to think and communicate!" Irihata exclaimed.

Some time later, as soon as they had an opportunity of using this tactic when the number ten went for another broad cross, Aoba Jousai's blockers didn't move, letting the spiker go free… Until his spike was easily received by Watari and the team got a point.

" _Yes!_ It's working!" Kiku exclaimed happily, clapping her hands together to see her team back to their usual selves.

With their top-attack being stopped, Karasuno was panicking again and Aoba Jousai started taking the momentum. The team tensed a little when a pinch server arrived…

"Pinch server… is it risky? But they'll do good, right?" Kiku asked, turning to her uncle.

"As long as they keep the ball connected, it'll be fine. They'll know how to counterattack."

Kiku waited as the number twelve went for a float jump serve. Everyone tensed and she knew they didn't like this sort of serve but thankfully, it hit the net and fell back on Karasuno's court. She sighed in relief but felt sorry for the poor pinch server who had lost a point with this mistake.

Aoba Jousai continued racking up points but Karasuno's players were stubborn and didn't give up easily. They kept attacking and attacking, holding onto the points gap that didn't widen. Kiku, and everyone on Aoba Jousai, perhaps everyone watching the match, were totally stunned when Kageyama managed to do a one-hand toss – Oikawa most of all was shaken up. But it didn't break him, or the team, he still had one card to play: Kunimi. Because more than anyone else, Kunimi knew how to preserve his energy, now that the others were tired, Oikawa was using him more than any other player. Soon, though, the two teams arrived into the 25 points…

"Aaah! What a deuce! It's never-ending…!" Kiku whined, clenching her notebook tightly, having given up taking notes from how intense the match was.

"As long as they don't give up, it's not lost. They won't lose, they can't afford it." Irihata answered and even though he kept a calm voice and straight face, his eyes showed that he was more stressed than he showed.

Kiku nodded, knowing they wouldn't lose against Karasuno when they needed to go to finals… but when Oikawa served next… and _missed_ … She had never seen him miss a serve and she wasn't sure how to feel about any of this.

"Oikawa-san… missed a serve…? When it's his absolute specialty…? And it's Karasuno's match-point now…" She murmured.

Her uncle or Mizoguchi didn't have anything to say to that, everyone was shocked…

But then, for Seijou's next attack, Oikawa tossed to Iwaizumi who marked the point with brio.

"And that nullified it! We each have one point now!" He exclaimed, looking straight into his friend's eyes.

Kiku cheered up instantly, sparkling in joy to see her Hajime so bright and powerful. Everyone's hearts and spirits were lifted up by his words and confidence.

"Iwaizumi-san, you're so cool!" The first and second years exclaimed.

"I feel like I've lost to Iwa-chan…!" Oikawa said, but it was obvious he was glad his friend was here.

"When the hell did you ever beat me?" Iwaizumi answered, as awesome as ever with his replies.

While they went back to their usual selves, Kiku grinned happily.

"Your boyfriend just saved the team from crumbling," Irihata said with a thankful voice.

She startled and blushed then looked in the opposite direction of her uncle or Iwaizumi. Or anyone.

"H-he's… he's not… we're not… u-um…" She stammered but he wasn't listening.

The two teams went back to racking up points. More and more, constantly having set point but never letting the others get the second point of lead that would ensure the victory. Kiku couldn't believe they reached the 30s and had done a full rotation…

"How long will they keep this up…?" She murmured worriedly, seeing Oikawa go for a serve.

She thought back on his last serve – it had been out. There was no way he couldn't think of it now. He was known and feared for his serves, he couldn't miss it and _yet_ … But when she saw Iwaizumi tell him something – probably some sort of threat or encouraging words from the way Oikawa reacted? – the setter seemed… confident.

Kiku relaxed a little, and when Oikawa served she couldn't help but admire his beautiful form – she was left out of breath just from seeing him serve.

They got more points thanks to Kunimi's spikes but Kiku's smile wavered when she remarked, at the other side of the net, Kageyama staring over at Oikawa with wide, shaken up eyes… She couldn't tell what was going on in his head but he seemed totally broken at this moment, as if everything he had worked for meant nothing, as if he couldn't help but feel all of his fears and doubts seep in.

From the circle they had made to motivate each other and listen to Oikawa's advice on Tobio's next play, Iwaizumi noticed Kiku's gaze turned towards the other side. She seemed sad, as if she didn't want the other team to lose. He knew she was kind and probably disliked seeing the opponents' defeat and their tears… but, he couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous that, when they were so close to victory, she would look somewhere else, at someone else but him and be sad rather than happy.

"Let's get this point!"

Oikawa's voice shook Iwaizumi out of his staring and he frowned, going to his position. The match wasn't over, they hadn't won yet. He couldn't lose his focus.

He looked back at Karasuno as they received Oikawa's killer serve and despite their position dispersed, Kageyama ran for the ball as the quick little monster started a run-up – a run-up for a quick!

" _The next time Karasuno looks like they're going to use a quick, Tobio will use the god-like quick."_ Oikawa had said a few seconds ago.

"Kindaichi, Kunimi!" Iwaizumi shouted, connecting the dots before the two first-years.

"YES!" They exclaimed, ready for the quick, god-like or not.

They jumped right in time to block the ball. As if in slow-motion they saw the number ten's expression faltered as he realized he hadn't been able to avoid the block and that the ball was going back on their side. Several players dived, desperate to reach the ball and save it… But in the end, the ball landed on Karasuno's court and the whistle resonated.

 **33 – 31** – Match won by Aoba Jousai

Kiku sighed in relief as everyone cheered. Several times she had thought they might actually lose without quite believing it – a little team that had come out of nowhere, that wasn't even in the top eight last year, _couldn't_ win against Aoba Jousai. They were destined to go all the way to finals and this time, they'll win against Shiratorizawa.

Standing up, she followed the players so they could line up under their school's banner.

"It was a beautiful match, congratulations!" She told everyone, making the boys smile even more, "Kindaichi-kun, good work on the last block!" She added when the middle-blocker walked past her.

"AH! Yes! No!"

"Which is it?"

He blushed and walked away, making her chuckle. She followed them but Kiku slowed down to a stop when she noticed Iwaizumi staring at Kageyama as he walked past Oikawa.

"Iwaizumi-san? What is it?" She called, tilting her head on a side.

He looked back at Kiku then joined her, both calmly going back to the others to line up.

"Nothing, I was just thinking… he really is a monster." He said, sounding absent-minded but his gaze was burning.

She didn't understand what he was talking about, or who he was referring to, but before she could ask him, he ran and joined Oikawa.

After bowing down to the cheers, Aoba Jousai took a short break before their next match – the quart-finals. If they won this match, they'll face Shiratorizawa Academy the next day.

Distributing towels and bottles, making sure everyone was nourished and full of energy, Kiku then started distributing their other version of uniforms she had kept in a bag in case of they needed to change. Glancing in Iwaizumi's direction while he was changing totally was an accident – staring until he was totally covered by clothes _also_ was an accident. A very fortunate accident.

" _'Even if one person is good, you can't win. Don't mind.'_ Isn't that what you wanted to tell them?" Iwaizumi asked Oikawa, imitating (trying to, at least) his voice.

"But Karasuno had more than one strong player, didn't they?" Oikawa answered, admitting their strength.

"You're really annoying…" Iwaizumi sighed.

"How rude!" He whined before being back to his (rare) serious-self, "The end of that second set… when he was able to read my toss to you, I could tell Tobio was trying to go from being a dictator to a decent king. Even if Tobio had stayed a dictator, he might have still tossed to the shrimp in the end. I only thought it was a possibility, and there was no guarantee he was going to do it. He was reading my attacks, but this time, he ended up having his attack read by me." He concluded, hands on his hips.

"So Kageyama had finally started trusting other people…" Iwaizumi said with an unreadable expression.

But then, a little smile appeared and Kiku might have imagined it, but there was relief in his eyes.

"Really… nothing could be more troublesome…" Oikawa muttered.

Iwaizumi glanced at him, the same burning gaze as earlier that Kiku had noticed.

"Ah, I have to go see the coach for next match," Oikawa suddenly remembered, walking away.

Iwaizumi stared at him, taking a moment to breathe in-between the two matches. Kiku slowly walked to him, still observing his expression.

"You meant Oikawa-san… didn't you?" She asked.

"Uh?" He asked turning to her because he hadn't noticed her coming closer.

"When you talked about a 'monster' – you meant Oikawa-san… Right? Because… he managed to guess Kageyama's last attack?" She hesitated.

Surprised she had noticed this, and understood him, Iwaizumi nodded before scratching his cheek, flushing lightly.

"Y-yeah… He really is… a monster," he said again but with a smile this time.

"If you want to compliment him, just say he's a great setter. I'm sure it'll boost his confidence for tomorrow's match!" She said with an amused smile.

"No way! It'll make his ego get even bigger than it already is! And we haven't won yet." He mumbled, pretending to be annoyed that she would read him so easily but truly, he was just happy she knew him so well.

"You will."

He looked back at Kiku and her smile got brighter:

"You will win, I know that. It was a beautiful match, and more than once, you kept the team together so… good job, Ace." She continued.

She was about to turn around and join the others when Iwaizumi reached over and grabbed her hand. Kiku looked up to him, shocked but he immediately let go of her hand and looked away, blushing in embarrassment.

"Ah, um… earlier… just before the last play… You were staring at Kageyama – why?" He asked, finally saying out loud what has been in the back of his mind since he had noticed her staring.

"Ah… I just thought… Kageyama… seemed very frightened and shocked back then – it didn't make sense after seeing up-close Oikawa-san's set-ups, or his former teammates' evolution at this point in the match… I don't know why… it made me sad… Seeing him so shaken up. I wonder what happened to make him feel so inferior to Oikawa-san…" She continued, because when it came to skills and technique, they were almost on par.

Iwaizumi didn't answer right away, but Kiku once again surprised him when she turned to him with a sad smile, knowing exactly what was on his mind.

"You know what happened between them, right…? Is this why you seemed glad that Kageyama could trust his teammates? What happened between all of you for such… such vivid emotions binding you all?" She asked curiously.

"…It's a long story…" He answered, glancing quickly at a laughing Oikawa before putting his hand on Kiku's shoulder, "I'll tell you about it someday. But right now, we have to focus on our next opponent."

He tapped her shoulder then joined his teammates.

Soon, the match started and unlike the challenge that had been the match against Karasuno, the match against Senseki High-school was easy to win. Aoba Jousai won in two sets and the team started moving so they could go back to their school and discuss today's matches and prepare for the finals.

Kiku glanced up and saw Karasuno taking away their banner… They all looked so sad, she prayed she wouldn't have to see her own team with such expressions the next day…

"Kiku, don't get left behind!" Irihata called when he noticed her spacing out.

"Ah, yes!"

She finished gathering her stuff then ran after the team. They were so strong and confident, their set-ups were on par with National-level teams. There was no way they would lose. They _couldn't_ lose. Mere power couldn't do that, even if said-power was from Ushijima Wakatoshi. Aoba Jousai would be the representative for Miyagi Prefecture for the National Inter-High.

BONUS

 _[While the team was going onto the bus…]_

Hanamaki smirked when he noticed Kiku glancing in awe at Iwaizumi from afar and, because there wasn't anyone else close-by, he decided to tease a little – it was the best part of her feelings for his friend after all.

He let his long arm fall around her shoulders, making her squeak and startle just as he leaned towards her ear.

"Did you like it?" He asked.

She blinked, knowing he wasn't referring to the matches but to something else – she was confused.

"Staring at Iwaizumi while he changed earlier… You couldn't tear your eyes away from him – did you _really_ think we wouldn't notice~?" He cleared up.

She gasped and blushed, glancing around nervously, afraid he might have been heard.

"You had never seen him bare-chest, right? Was it up to your imagination? Everything you expected?" He teased with a wink.

She blushed even more and her gaze turned to Iwaizumi who was giving orders about finding where Oikawa had gone because he had disappeared. He was screaming about how much of a pain in the ass he was being. Kiku recalled the beautiful vision– arhem, _accident_. The fortunate accident from earlier when she had caught sight of Iwaizumi (read: stared shamelessly) as he was changing from the white with turquoise details uniform into the turquoise with white details one.

She blushed even more then nodded, to Makki's great pleasure – he would never let it go, he would spend the rest of his life teasing her about it.

"Everything I expected… and more…" She murmured with a thankful nod.

He laughed loudly, not having expected her to _actually_ answer but it was even better!

"Iwaizumi!" He immediately called, walking towards the rest of the team.

"WAH! STOP IT STOP IT, MAKKI!" Kiku shouted.

She jumped against him and grabbed him by the waist to stop him from walking _any closer_ to Iwaizumi who had, unfortunately, heard (like the rest of the team) and was now observing them from afar.

"D-don't tell him! Don't tell anyone! Keep it a secret! Please! I don't want him to think I'm a pervert!"

"You _are_ one, though."

"Eeek! I'm not! Have you _looked_ at Iwaizumi-san?! How can you _not_ stare when you catch sight of–"

" _Pervert."_

"GEH! Just don't tell him, please! Keep it a secret! Please!"

Hanamaki rolled his eyes just as she hid her red face against his back.

"It's too embarrassing…!" She mumbled, voice smothered.

He glanced over his shoulder at the girl who now looked truly frightened at the idea that Iwaizumi would learn she had been staring – the whole gymnasium had been staring at them changing anyway… But Kiku liked Iwaizumi, which gave this staring a different meaning. And _he_ – by some unknown twist of fate Hamanaki would never understand – liked her too. This staring meant a lot for the both of them.

"What are you two doing? Just climb in the bus or we'll be late!" Matsukawa called from afar.

"Oikawa! _Where_ were you?!" Iwaizumi shouted when he noticed the Captain coming back.

"GYAH! To the toilets! Why are– GEH! Stop hitting me, Iwa-chan!"

Hanamaki threw one last look at Kiku's frightened expression then sighed, tugging her arms away from his waist then pulling her towards the bus. She didn't fight his lead but still looked terribly stressed when she took her seat in the bus. No one seemed to notice her trouble – they were either too excited about winning, too tired by the matches or too taken in by their Captain and Vice-Captain's banter.

"What were you talking about with Kiku?" Mattsun asked Makki when he sat down next to him.

"…Secret," he answered with a shrug.

Kiku heard and whipped around towards him. He closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep but she grinned and relaxed instantly. Takahiro opened one eye to glance at her then smiled to himself. He hoped he'll have some free patisserie for this good deed.

* * *

 _Next chapter is the match against Shiratorizawa which I tried to make as epic and emotional as possible! I hope you liked the match against Karasuno and are as impatient as I am for chapter 29! :D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : LAST CHANCE FOR THE NATIONALS_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	29. Last Chance for the Nationals

_The long awaited match against Shiratorizawa is finally here... It's a very long chapter and I tried to make their last match (because we all know the results and that, despite their wills to try again at the Spring High, it IS their last match and chance against Shiratorizaawa) as epic as possible! :D If it's our boys' last chance, it'll have to be as epic as it could be! :)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Karasuno che perda è trista, ma sappiamo chi vincerà il Spring High... e chi perderà... Sono felice di sapere che hai piaciuto il bonus! ;) Siamo oneste, anche noi guarderemmo Hajime (o tutti i ragazzi~)! :D_

 _ **Krisia** : I'm glad you're excited, and I hope it's up to your expectations! :D_

 _ **Aquafin** : There'll need more than that to crush someone like Kiku! ;)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : They'll be very close again, very soon, things will accelerate~! ;) _

_**AnimeViolinist001** : In Kiku's defense, we would have ALL stared. The girls supporting Oikawa and Siejou probably passed out in the seats if the boys changed in the middle of the court - that's why we don't see them again after, these poor girls... It was too much at once. But seriously, I get the whole "we have matches to finish so wrap it up boys" but... didn't they get the opportunity to go change in somewhere more prvate rather than in the middle of the gymnasium? I'm embarrassed for them._

 _ **forevertrash97** : I'm glad you smiled a lot - but unfortunately, you might not smile as much in the following chapters considering what's coming._

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXIX : Last Chance for the Nationals

" _The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team."_

― **Phil Jackson**

" _Only by binding together as a single force will we remain strong and unconquerable."_

― **Chris Bradford, The Way of the Dragon**

" _We're a team. It's part of our job to help each other out, and to forgive each other quickly. Otherwise, we'd never get anything done."_

― **Jeramey Kraatz, Villains Rising**

" _Strong people don't put others down... They lift them up."_

― **Michael P. Watson**

" _I love you. I worry about you. I wonder whether I tell you enough how I love you and want you and need you and how I am diminished… when you are not with me and how I am multiplied when you are here."_

— **Pat Frank, Alas, Babylon**

" _Sometimes in life you don't always feel like a winner, but that doesn't mean you're not a winner."_

― **Lady Gaga, Lady Gaga: Born This Way**

" _There was a saying that a man's true character was revealed in defeat. I thought it was also revealed in victory."_

― **Alison Goodman, Eon: Dragoneye Reborn**

" _While one may encounter many defeats, one must not be defeated."_

― **Maya Angelou**

" _The greatest joys in life are found not only in what we do and feel, but also in our quiet hopes and labors for others."_

― **Bryant McGill, Voice of Reason**

 _Sendai Gymnasium, third day of the Inter-High – Finals_

The silence was resonating in the bus as Aoba Jousai was going to Sendai's gymnasium for the last match of the Inter-High. They were in finals and they would face, yet again, Shiratorizawa Academy.

When they arrived, they ignored the way the crowd glanced at them – Seijou's students, Shiratorizawa's students, tv crews… Aoba Jousai was in finals and had other things to think about but cameras and journalists who were waiting to see how this finals would turn out – it was the exact same teams facing each other every year, but every year something new and exciting happened despite the result always being the exact same. Everyone was impatient to see this match.

"We still have some time before going to warm-up," Mizoguchi said with a strong voice, "Don't get overwhelmed because of the hype of the finals, ok? You can do what you want but be back here in half an hour for warm-up!"

"OOSS!" They exclaimed.

Most decided to stay here, but some went to stretch their legs, hoping to relax and get rid of the stress of finals. The first-years were especially nervous because even though Kindaichi and Kunimi always went to finals in Kitagawa Daiichi, this time, these were _high-school finals_ – they were facing Shiratorizawa and Ushiwaka. It was a whole new different level.

Oikawa had decided to go have a walk, with a stop to the restrooms and because he didn't trust the Captain to be alone with so many of his fangirls around and ready to fly down on him, Iwaizumi accompanied him.

"Are you looking for someone?" Iwaizumi asked when he noticed his friend trying to break his neck looking around in the crowd.

"Ah? Uh… no, not really…" Oikawa answered absentmindedly, glancing around nervously, "Just… green eyes…" He added in a breath.

"Marika must already be in the seats," Hajime answered, surprised that his friend's thoughts would be turned towards hi girlfriend before the finals.

Oikawa turned to him, blinking as if he had totally forgotten about Marika. He seemed just as surprised.

"Oh. Right. You're right!" He exclaimed enthusiastically.

They continued moving and if Oikawa was being more discreet, it was obvious he was still looking for someone in particular from the way he was glancing around – the most curious for Iwaizumi was that he only glanced at Shiratorizawa Academy's students. He was about to ask another question when they noticed Kanemoto Ayaka nearby – the heiress of the Kanemoto Group that would sponsor them both the following year. But also…

"Ushiwaka…" Oikawa growled through gritted teeth.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa glanced at each other then, without a word shared, decided to go find their friend who was currently talking with Ushijima and Tendou.

"I'm here to encourage both Shiratorizawa and Aoba Jousai," Ayaka told them with a smile.

"Nah, encourage us only. Who cares about Seijou anyway? We're going to win! Right, Wakatoshi-kun?" Tendou continued with a wink.

Wakatoshi blinked then nodded:

"We will."

"Still overly confident, I can see!" Oikawa exclaimed as they arrived.

The little group of three turned towards a pissed-off Oikawa, followed closely by Iwaizumi, both glaring at the two boys from Shiratorizawa. Tension rose between the two duos of friends and if Ushijima and Tendou didn't show quite as much animosity – the first one because he couldn't understand the reason of Oikawa's anger and the second because nothing could shake his laid-back personality – there was definitely a showdown going on to who would stare and/or glare the longest and most ardently.

In the middle, Ayaka paled a little and swallowed hard, feeling as if she was standing between Bokuto and Sakusa. Probably worse.

"U-um…" She hesitated, glancing between the two teams that continued facing each other, "B-both of your teams… do your best…" She said with a tiny voice.

It broke the boys from their vicious staring and they glanced down at Ayaka. She startled at their determined expression even though they had _tried_ softening their expressions when they had turned to her. But she still felt in danger.

"The six who are strong are stronger!" Oikawa exclaimed suddenly, turning back towards Ushijima and pointing a challenging finger at him, Iwaizumi looking just as intense behind him, "We'll settle this once and for all! On court! We'll determine the stronger team!"

Unphased by the challenge, Ushijima stared at the two before nodding ceremoniously. Tendou made a loud _"Oh~!"_ with his hands on his cheeks _as if_ he was taken aback by the tense atmosphere.

"Indeed. We'll see which team is stronger, Oikawa-san." Ushijima answered before turning around, followed by Tendou, even though the red-head walked backwards, pointed his fingers to his eyes then back at Oikawa and Iwaizumi in some sort of challenge – and finally waving his fingers in the air.

If it confused anyone, they didn't show it, used despite themselves to the antics of Shiratorizawa's middle-blocker.

Ayaka turned back towards Oikawa and Iwaizumi who were still tense. She could tell they were nervous from the finals and at everything it meant: it was their last chance to win a ticket for the National of the Inter-High. They would face their fated enemy once again.

"My words may not mean much from the manager of a National top eight team…" She started, stepping towards the two, "And for someone who has a close friendship with Ushijima-san and his team… but if every player going to Nationals were half as determined as you two are to win… sports competition would be completely different. You are _strong_ – it's a different strength from Ushijima's, but it's still _strength_ … and you have the same tenacity of souls as players who have played in Nationals, and you have the nobility of heart of the greatest players in the world. You deserve to win as much as Shiratorizawa, so don't give up no matter what." She said with a firm gaze, believing every word she said.

Stunned by her encouragement – not just for the finals, but for themselves as volleyball players whether they continued professionally or not – they could only feel their heart beat with more vigor from her words. They could only nod to her speech, determination flowing in their veins.

Ayaka smiled then left them alone to handle her own duties for the final day of Miyagi Prefecture's Inter-High Preliminaries.

The two stared at her then Iwaizumi glanced at Oikawa whose eyes were so focused and intense that he felt as if it wasn't his best friend but a complete stranger… and yet, this intensity was the same he's seen for years. It was the same familiar strength that Oikawa could show on court.

"Oikawa…" He started.

Iwaizumi took a breath in to continue but, without glancing at him, Oikawa interrupted him:

"Don't."

"You don't know what I'm going to say!" The Ace exclaimed grumpily.

"Keep it for after we've won, Iwa-chan." He said with a dangerously determined voice.

Iwaizumi stared at him then nodded. They joined their team to start warming-up while on the court, the referees were checking the last details to prepare the match.

"All right… Everyone is ready?" Oikawa called.

"Oooss!"

"Gather up!" Iwaizumi added.

The regulars all surrounded their Captain and Vice-Captain, Kiku and the two coaches nearby.

"Yet again we're facing Shiratorizawa and this damn Ushiwaka…" Oikawa started, looking at every single one of his teammates, "But this year, despite everyone thinking otherwise, we're going to prove who is the stronger team!"

"YEAH!"

"We're going to show everyone that mere power and strength isn't enough to bring down a strong team! We're going to show that Aoba Jousai is the strongest team!"

"YEAAAH!"

"SEIJOU! FIGHT!" Iwaizumi shouted as they all put their hands on top of one anothers.

"OOOSS!"

Their hands shot to the ceiling, like their determination.

Kiku felt her heart accelerate as the boys put on their jackets to keep their muscles warm then moved with determined steps towards the court. The moment they stepped in, half of the gymnasium – Aoba Jousai's cheers and students – erupted into cheers with many squeals destined to Oikawa especially. Some Shiratorizawa students clapped into their hands politely but for the moment, it was obvious that the entire gymnasium belonged to the blue team.

"Listen to them, they know just who are the best-looking ones around~" Makki hummed as he glanced up at all the fangirls who were screaming with blushed cheeks.

"Don't take your dreams for reality – they're not here for you but for Oikawa-san," Kiku muttered, putting down her bags and checking she had everything.

"Then why do I hear so much my name?"

"Because the cheers are going to scream _everyone's_ names, idiot," she answered, unphased, "Speaking of… I've never seen him like that… not up-close at least…" She added, glancing up.

At first Hanamaki and the others who were around thought she was referring to Iwaizumi but then, they realized that Iwaizumi was the same as usual, perhaps a little more serious – it was Oikawa who was a thousand times more focused than usual.

"Oikawa-san is always serious and concentrated before a match, but when it's Shiratorizawa, he _is_ …" Yahaba started, not finding a proper word for his senpai.

"Kingly." Kiku finished.

The others glanced at her then smirked.

"Well, I hope the King will finally rule the court he deserves – it's about long last we'll get our damn revenge on Shiratorizawa. They've won enough times." Hanamaki answered, smirking in excitement at the idea of winning.

"With luck, they're tired of seeing the Skytree." Mattsun added.

" _As if_ you could get tired of going to Nationals!" Hanamaki exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi talked quickly with their coach and the referee and then, they watched over their team from afar, hearing them chuckle and seeing their grins while Makki and Kiku were bantering again.

"It's livelier than usual," Iwaizumi remarked.

"Mm…" Oikawa agreed with a nod, "We're always so focused that everyone gets swiped in by our rhythm."

"It might not a bad thing if Kiku can remind us that we should have fun!" He answered with a sweet smile appearing on his face.

Oikawa nodded then glanced at the door from which Shiratorizawa should arrive. They were taking their sweet time _these…!_

"It's our last Inter-High."

Oikawa froze, eyes widening then he whipped towards Iwaizumi who was smiling a little sadly, his gaze melancholic, as if remembering the past six years they had spent going to every Inter-High.

"We'll have the Spring-High too," Oikawa answered, not wanting to think of it yet.

"But the Spring-High _isn't_ the Inter-High – they're two different competitions. It's our last Inter-High, the last time we compete for this particular competition. Last year of high-school, last year on the same…"

His voice trailed off and he glanced at his friend who sighed and smiled lightly, hands on his hips.

"Last year on the same team – _until_ we're both on the National team…"

Iwaizumi hesitated, not sure he could get emotional now, just before Shiratorizawa entered and the finals started but… he turned towards Oikawa with a smile.

"Y'know… no matter what you say or what the results might say – you're the best setter. Not Kageyama, but _you_. You deserve your place on the National team more than anyone else, Oikawa…" He said, for once, sounding genuinely kind and honest towards his friend.

Tooru was stunned for a little while, not having expected such words to escape his friend's lips. Even if he knew that Hajime thought of him as the best setter and disliked whenever he thought himself as inferior to Kageyama… it was comforting to hear these words just before their last finals of the Inter-High.

"And you're the best Ace… Not Ushiwaka, but you." He answered.

"I'm glad I got to play so long with someone like you, even though, I'll have to deal with you even _more_ in the future…"

"Mean, Iwa-chan!" He whined.

He chuckled as answer before lifting up his fist.

"Let's win." He said simply but his determination was shining in his eyes.

Oikawa smiled back and put his fist against his.

"Let's win," he echoed with a nod.

Cheers erupted and they turned around just to see Shiratorizawa Academy's volleyball team entering the court with the absolute confidence of winners. Ushijima Wakatoshi was leading them, his eyes dark with determination to prove he was still the top three Ace of the country – the best Ace with the strongest team.

"There they are…" Oikawa started in a low voice, frowning and a dark smile creeping on his face, "They're so irritating…!" He hissed.

Aoba Jousai and Shiratorizawa faced each other and soon after, they started the official warm-up. No one on Shiratorizawa was impressed or surprised by the bits of skills and power Aoba Jousai showed – but so were the players of Seijou. Even the first-years knew about Ushiwaka, the rivalry between the two schools and had been long prepared by their senpais to face the showdown.

"Olaa?"

Tendou leaned forward with his body in a strange angle, observing Seijou from the other side of the court, attracting the attention of his teammates.

"Seijou has a manager~?" He asked, noticing Kiku running around to get balls back.

"Maybe she's a first-year?" Goshiki proposed with a shrug.

"I thought Aoba Jousai didn't have a manager because of Oikawa-san," Shirabu added, not much impressed by the sudden presence of a manager.

"She seems close to the third-years. Maybe she's Oikawa's girlfriend?" Yamagata asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I doubt a girlfriend would be allowed on a team, especially after three years without a manager," Leon answered with a smile despite his doubtful voice.

"It's not fair that Seijou gets a manager-chan and we _don't~!"_ Tendou whined.

"We can't help it, coach thinks a manager would be distracting," Leon answered, keeping his usual smile on his face.

"I wanna know what sort of girl she's like to be on Aoba Jousai!" Tendou suddenly exclaimed.

"Tendou, no, don't–" Semi started, but as usual, the middle-blocker didn't listen to him.

He sighed deeply but thankfully, Tendou didn't do anything – Semi was too hopeful, though. When they switched to spiking practice, once he had spiked the ball, Tendou made sure to take the long road – just as the manager was grabbing a stray ball.

"And who might you be~?" He asked, keeping a safe distance between them.

Kiku glanced up and startled when she realized he was talking to her. She knew about this crazy-looking middle blocker and his frightening skills – the "Guess Monster" he was called. She blushed like crazy and looked all around, trying to hide her face with her hair but he remained there, waiting for an answer.

"U-um… I… I…" She hesitated, back to her usual shy-self now that she had to talk with a stranger.

Hands on his hips, Tendou broke the distance separating them with one long step, leaning towards Kiku with his head tilted on the other side until she felt like she was face to face with a creepy, broken doll (with awfully long limbs). She froze in terror, clutching tightly the ball and not daring to move or call anyone.

"Aaah~ I'm curious~ Seijou's team has a manager – I wonder hoooo~w you convinced that coach over there to let you on the team with Oikawa still there~ After all, a girl and _this_ guy is a recipe for disaster~! Ahah~! You must be very special if–"

"Very special indeed, she's our _manager_. Now step off and go back to your warm-up."

Kiku startled and Tendou tilted his head on a side, his smile getting bigger when Iwaizumi was suddenly standing behind Kiku, sending a protective shadow over her – his silent way to tell Tendou to get away from his girl.

"Ola, ola? What's this, Iwaizumi~?" Tendou asked teasingly.

Unimpressed, Iwaizumi gave him a long look then looked down at Kiku, putting a hand on her shoulder and turning her towards the rest of the team – everyone was staring rather threateningly at Tendou for approaching their manager so shamelessly.

"Your uncle is calling for you," Iwaizumi told Kiku, pointing towards coach.

"O-oh, okay…" She answered, hurrying towards Irihata.

Iwaizumi sent another look in the direction of Tendou – his way of saying _'hands off the coach's niece'_ (and my girl) – but he was far from being impressed. He lifted up one hand in front of his mouth, amused by the situation.

"I hope you're ready to get your spikes knocked down again~" Tendou hummed as Iwaizumi was walking away.

Iwaizumi didn't acknowledge him and joined his teammates, but his only focus was on Kiku (she was hiding behind Matsukawa, Kindaichi and had forced Kunimi to go nearby to feel more secure with another tall boy).

"You're okay? What did he say? He didn't annoy you, did he?" He asked worriedly.

"Jealous~?" Hanamaki teased, earning a glare from the Ace but he only laughed.

"H-he's… he's overwhelmingly… _scary_ …" Kiku whispered, still pale from her encounter with the middle-blocker.

"He's not _that_ impressive, it's just his read-blocking that's freakishly accurate," Makki grumbled.

"And his blocking is good too, always the right timing and form. It's irritating." Mattsun added.

A long silence greeted these words. Oikawa was quick to pipe in with his usual singing voice:

"Come on~ come on~! We know that Shiratorizawa has good players and that this middle-blocker is particularly worrisome – but because we already know that and faced them, we have no reason to worry~! We trained and practiced with this goal in mind."

His smile disappeared, his face darkening, and if they weren't all already feeling the adrenaline of finals mixing with the determination to win, they might have shivered in fear – but they knew their Captain and more importantly, they shared his feelings and mirrored his expression.

"To break their wall and get more points to win this match." He said with a hard voice.

"OOSS!"

"Let's keep it up!" He exclaimed.

"OOOOSSS!"

The official warm-up continued until both teams had their time practicing the various moves and exercises they were used to.

"We serve first," Oikawa announced after the coin had been tossed by the referee.

"The line up will be announced soon," Irihata answered.

"OOSS!" They all shouted.

A moment later, Kiku was standing next to Mizoguchi, her heart beating strongly against her chest. It wasn't totally silent in the gymnasium with the crowd talking to each other and the referees preparing themselves, but the absence of the sounds of shoes or the balls hitting the floor made the atmosphere a little heavier, as if the absence of the activity for which the gymnasium existed made the place eery.

The teams lined up to be seen on the court and it finally started.

" _We will now begin the Japanese National High School Volleyball Tournament, Miyagi Prefecture Qualifiers, Boys' Finals. Miyagi Prefecture Aoba Jousai High-School versus Shiratorizawa Academy."_ The woman on the speaker announced.

The two Captains faced each other to shake hands, their gazes unwavering.

"I'm going to crush you today. You'd better be prepared, Ushiwaka-chan." Oikawa said with a hard, dangerous voice.

"Stop calling me that, Oikawa." Ushijima answered, unphased by the tone his opponent had used.

Oikawa was tempted to tease him more by saying that they had something he didn't – a cute manager – but not only Ushijima would be immune to this teasing, but right now, they were shaking each other's hands too hard. They were gripping on each other as if wanting to show that they were the stronger.

" _We will now introduce the Aoba Jousai starting lineup."_

Kiku swallowed hard, a proud smile on her face – it was the first time she could see up close the boys as their names were announced. Usually she was in the seats with her eyes solely focused on Iwaizumi – but now, she was close to all of them and she was proud of all of them, not just her Ace.

" _Number one, Oikawa Tooru."_

Oikawa ran to them and smiled, reassuringly to a frozen Kiku. Lifting up his two hands he waited for her – she startled and lifted up her hands and he clapped them lightly before doing the same with Irihata and Mizoguchi.

" _Number two, Matsukawa Issei."_

He ran casually, clapping the three's hands – it was strange having three persons waiting there instead of the usual two coaches.

" _Number three, Hanamaki Takahiro."_

Instead of clapping Kiku's hands, he ruffled her hair, making her cringe and pout but at least, he had managed to relax her – and he was more relaxed too, if his teasing smirk was any clue.

" _Number four, Iwaizumi Hajime."_

Kiku wasn't sure what to expect, what to do, but when he arrived near her, he showed his hand and looked straight into her eyes. She approached her own hand for a little clap but before she could close the distance, he grabbed her hand. He squeezed, looking right into her eyes as she looked up at him with wide, awed eyes. It was only one touch but Kiku's hand squeezing back his was enough to fill Iwaizumi with even more strength and determination than before.

It was only when Irihata shoved his hand forward and coughed, raising an eyebrow that Iwaizumi remembered that he had to clap the coaches' hands and run to lineup with the rest of his teammates. Flushing in embarrassment, he ignored the way Hanamaki and Matsukawa grinned at him.

" _Number twelve, Kindaichi Yuutarou."_

The way he furrowed his brows as he clapped Kiku and the coaches' hands showed the slight nerves taking over him but Kindaichi was overall relatively calm. But nowhere near as calm as Kunimi that nothing could disturb.

" _Number thirteen, Kunimi Akira."_

He clapped their hands and ran for the lineup as if he did that everyday, as easily as he tied his laces.

" _Number seven, Watari Shinji, libero."_

Watari, despite his quiet and shy nature, seemed very comfortable with this – it wasn't his first finals against Shiratorizawa, of course, but his little smile and nod were strangely comforting for Kiku.

" _Coach, Irihata Nobuteru."_

Kiku turned proudly to her uncle as he gave a little nod. Then, it was Shiratorizawa's turn to be announced one by one, the ceremonious atmosphere surrounding everyone.

" _Ladies and Gentlemen, please cheer on both teams and wish them the best."_

Everyone clapped, Kiku's nerves taking a hold of her so she decided to take her notebook and pencil to hold onto something, _anything_. Especially with Shiratorizawa's cheers that were resonating loudly in the whole gymnasium. Aoba Jousai was trying their best to be as loud as they possibly could but the drums were overwhelming. The players all showed their jersey numbers.

Silence.

The referee whistled the beginning of the match and Hanamaki went to serve, dribbling the ball a few times before, once again, the whistle resonated. He served – and the match begun. He had aimed for Ushiwaka but without surprise, Leon was the one to get the receive, sending it effectively to their second-year setter. Shirabu didn't have to move except to lift up his arms. Knowing damn well where it would go, Matsukawa, Oikawa and Iwaizumi all moved to stop Ushijima:

"Hold! …Now!" Matsukawa exclaimed, giving the timing for the block.

They jumped up with an almost perfect timing as he spiked. The ball hit Oikawa and Iwaizumi's hands. They almost got blown away by the power of the spike, barely landing on their feet. Kunimi tried to receive the ball but when it touched his arms, he fell on his behind from the strength of it and it rolled away…

 **0 – 1**

The whistle resonated and they all looked at the ball then back at Ushijima who had just marked the first point for Shiratorizawa Academy.

"D-don't mind!" Kindaichi exclaimed from the sidelines as Kunimi got up.

"Don't mind, Kunimi-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed with a cheerful smile even though he felt his heart and stomach tight.

Kunimi didn't answer, he didn't show that he was annoyed by the lack of reception but, he was tense. Even from a distance, everyone could notice it.

"Don't mind, Kunimi!" Iwaizumi exclaimed as well.

The first-year finally acknowledged someone's voice and he gave a short nod but his gaze was focused on Shiratorizawa.

"And the first point~ Just forty nine more and it's our win~" Tendou hummed from the other side of the net.

The front players of Aoba Jousai glared at him then they moved to be ready for the next play. It was Ushiwaka's turn to serve and everyone tensed because they knew how powerful his jump serve was. He had power but he didn't have the monster accuracy of Oikawa so they wouldn't be impressed by Ushiwaka's serve. They had all trained receiving Oikawa's serve, and Iwaizumi's, who were their two most powerful players and servers. They could receive Ushiwaka's serve.

Ushijima threw the ball upwards, ran then jumped. The moment his hand hit the ball it flew through the court at a frightening speed.

"Makki!" Oikawa shouted when he saw the direction the ball was taking.

The third-year wing-spiker positioned himself and braced for the impact. It hit his forearms and he gritted his teeth before falling backwards. He immediately looked up at the ball's trajectory but it was already rolling on the floor.

"S-sorry…" He said through gritted teeth.

"Don't mind! You almost had it!" Iwaizumi answered while Mattsun was helping him up.

"This damn left-handed rotation…" He muttered with a frown.

"We're not used to it, it'll take us a while to get it up," Mattsun answered.

"We don't have _'a while'!"_ He replied, shaking lightly his head.

"Best to take our time than rush through things," Iwaizumi said from the front, "Another one is coming, let's get ready! We'll definitely get this one up!"

"OOSSS!"

Ushijima served once again and even though it went right between Matsukawa and Hanamaki, the latter was the one to shout to receive it. He went into position and even though like previously he fell backwards, this time, when the ball went up, Mattsun ran after it.

"Center!" Iwaizumi shouted.

Matsukawa sent the ball his way and after observing it for a little while, Iwaizumi ran up and hit it strongly. He met eyes with Tendou the moment the middle-blocker moved his hands to get the ball down. A bad smile appeared on his face as he felt the familiar and satisfactory hit of a strong ball hitting his hands and immediately going down. Hajime saw the ball going straight to the floor and he clenched his teeth because he knew he couldn't touch it.

Suddenly, Oikawa's hand slid just under the ball and everyone held their breath as the ball was going up yet again. Hanamaki ran to it and sent it back towards their Ace.

"Regroup, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa ordered.

Iwaizumi jumped and hit the ball against the wall – but it was sent back to their side of their court.

"Rebound!" Kiku exclaimed, not remembering when they had learned this trick.

Kunimi sent the ball back to Oikawa who finally got to toss. He lifted up his hands, fingers spread out as he tossed.

"Kindaichi!"

The first-year barely managed to hide his surprise to hear his name but he jumped and hit the ball anyway. Leon almost stopped the ball but he had underestimated Kindaichi's height and jump. It flew away and a short moment later, the whistle resonated.

"YOSSHAA!" Seijou exclaimed.

 **1 – 2**

"Sorry!" Leon said, turning towards his teammates.

"Don't mind, it's Oikawa's toss, after all," Tendou answered, tapping his shoulder.

"Nice kill, Kindaichi!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, tapping his kouhai's shoulder.

"A-ah! Y-yes! T-thank you to trust me with this toss, Oikawa-san!" He exclaimed because he hadn't expected to be trusted with a toss so early in the game – and even less to earn Aoba Jousai's first point.

"They were focused on Iwa-chan~ It was the best choice~ But next time, don't be so surprised that I call your name, okay? You didn't jump to your highest point." Oikawa continued.

"Yes!"

" _Push it, push it Seijou! Nice kill, Yuutarou! Hit it, hit it, Seijou!"_ The cheers shouted wildly.

Finally, it was turn for Oikawa's serve. He received the ball and dribbled it a few times.

It was his first serve of the match and even though his teammates were encouraging him and the public was cheering, he heard nothing. He was surrounded by complete silence and the only thing he could see was Shiratorizawa's court.

Tooru took a deep breath and closed his eyes, putting his forehead against the ball. It was his first serve for his last Inter-High. They had won every single match to this point, they had crushed Tobio. The only one left was Ushiwaka. Once he had won against Shiratorizawa, they could go to the Nationals.

The referee whistled.

Tooru opened his eyes, focused so intensely that even in the public, people shivered. Shiratorizawa's players, knowing damn well how exploding and frighteningly accurate his serve was.

Calmly, he looked straight at the only person he should aim at: Ushijima, the Captain and Ace of Shiratorizawa. Feeling the silent challenge, the Grand Ace got ready to receive because even though he was protected by the others to make sure he was ready to spike – he also knew that if Oikawa wanted to aim at _him_ , the serve would reach _him_.

Tooru tossed the ball in the air, appreciating the beauty of the moment as he realized it was a perfect serve toss. He took a few steps forward then jumped, sending his arm forward. He hit the ball with a bad grin, knowing exactly where it was going and with how much strength.

It flew over the net with so much speed that Leon didn't even have time to move to receive the ball even though he knew where it would go. But Ushijima was ready, he bent down and received it with a grunt. The ball went back into the air but it was off.

"Push it in, Tendou!"

The middle-blocker jumped up to push the ball on the other side but Kindaichi was here and his hands touched the ball.

"GYEEH!" The red-head cried out, not having expected this first-year to stop him.

"One touch!"

Oikawa ran to it just as his Ace took a few steps backwards for momentum. Without a word, he tossed and Iwaizumi hit it for a quick. It had been so fast that it should have landed without trouble but Tendou had already moved and touched the ball.

"One touuuuuch!" He exclaimed excitedly.

Shirabu ran to the ball.

"Ushijima-san!"

The Super Ace ran and jumped to hit his favorite toss: high and away from the net.

"We're stopping it!" Iwaizumi shouted.

"OOSS!"

With Kindaichi and Kunimi, all three jumped up against the spike but it was too powerful. It broke through their wall. Hanamaki tried to get it but it brushed his hand before it hit the court and the whistle resonated.

 **1 – 3**

"We jumped a little too early, sorry about that," Iwaizumi said.

"Don't mind! We'll get the next one!"

Kiku stared at her team a little worriedly. The score didn't worry her much, she knew they could come back but… they were facing an opponent they had never managed to vanquish.

"I-it's only the beginning but the rallies are so long, they're already all out of breath when it ends…" She murmured.

"It proves they're doing their absolute best to save the ball and continue the game," Irihata answered calmly, "They can win. If…"

His voice trailed off and she glanced up:

"If?"

"If they realize it. It's one thing to be determined to win, but they've spent _years_ losing, they never got a chance to win against Shiratorizawa. If they don't realize they have the skills, power and possibility, they'll never be able to win." He explained darkly.

Kiku looked back at the team. It was true that they were determined to win, but there was something in their eyes that shone despite themselves every single time Shiratorizawa got a point – the lack of surprise, the bitterness of failing.

Her gaze rested on Iwaizumi, more worried for him than any other because even though he was the Ace, he still hadn't marked a single point, he had been stopped every single time…

"I-Iwaizumi-san! G-good luck!" Kiku exclaimed.

The Ace glanced over at her, the two coaches and a few more players surprised to hear her. She froze and blushed, realizing she had spoken so suddenly – _she_ hadn't expected it.

"A-all of y-you too!" She quickly added even though they all knew her encouragement were mostly for Iwaizumi.

Once the surprise was gone, Iwaizumi felt much more relaxed. His shoulders dropped and a little smile appeared on his face as he nodded.

"Yeah, thanks," he answered.

"You heard the lady, Iwa-chan~" Oikawa hummed teasingly, making sure only his friend would hear.

Flushing, he glared at the setter who put his hands on his hips.

"Next time, you'll know what to do." He said with a strong gaze.

Iwaizumi blinked before grinning and nodding, knowing very well what his friend wanted. Heck, he felt the same.

Reinvigorated, the atmosphere lighter, Aoba Jousai smiled lightly to see their Ace glancing a few times at their manager before focusing once again on the game. Shiratorizawa served again and after the ball went over the net a few times, Oikawa finally got the opportunity he had been waiting for. After Kiku's encouragement Iwaizumi was burning to get one point in – it was time Aoba Jousai's Ace showed his worth.

"Bring it!" Iwaizumi shouted, running for his jump.

"Three blockers!"

But there was no way it could frighten Iwaizumi Hajime. If Oikawa Tooru was the best setter in the prefecture and everyone admired his set-ups and incredible serve, the one person who had always been by his side, who had been his Ace for over six years, for every competition and every match…

Kiku's heart sped up when she saw Hajime jump up, arm backwards and in a perfect position that made him look like he was flying in the air.

His burning, determined gaze, his confident expression… _this_ was the true Iwaizumi Hajime.

He swung his arm and he put so much strength in his spike that the three blockers all felt swiped along with the ball. He landed back on the floor, sweat rolling down his face but he was standing tall and proud. No matter who they were facing, no matter the odds, he never ran away, he always faced the wall and he always broke through it when his teammates needed it most. This unwavering strength, his absolute confidence, the trust he put into his teammates and they put into him… _This_ was why he was the _Ace_. It was why he was the Ace Oikawa Tooru had trusted all these years.

Whistle.

 **2 – 3**

"YEEAAAAH!" They all shouted, Oikawa wrapping his arms around his friend who grinned proudly.

"Seijou too! We've got a Super Ace who can't be put down that easily!" Kiku exclaimed, standing up and clapping her hands together.

"It was just one point but it seems it gave everyone strength," Mizoguchi said.

"Mm," Irihata agreed with a smile, "That's why they trust Iwaizumi. Though… the one who gave him the confidence to break through the wall to begin with…"

He glanced at Kiku who was too busy sparkling and congratulating Iwaizumi to hear that. She didn't notice her uncle's smile getting a little bigger.

Iwaizumi glanced over at Kiku and just for her bright smile, for her shining eyes… it was worth it. She looked so happy and so proud… He'd break through walls any time if it meant giving her this expression on her face.

"Stop getting distracting, Iwaizumi!" Makki exclaimed from where he was, making the Ace startle guiltily.

"You're staring~!" Mattsun called.

"You're blushing, Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa added.

"I get it! It's enough! Shut it, all of you!" Iwaizumi hissed, glaring at them and now unable to glance in Kiku's direction – he was too embarrassed.

It was his turn to serve but his teammates kept glancing at him teasingly. He was so suddenly nervous that he almost messed up his jump serve. He gasped when it touched the net and fell forward after everyone got a heart attack. But Shiratorizawa's first-year player managed to get it up and a moment after, they immediately got another point…

 **2 – 4**

"Damn it… did they get too excited and lost their focus?" Mizoguchi mumbled.

"It's all right, it's a close tie but they're holding on." Irihata answered, "It'll be fine as long as they won't break."

"They won't," Kiku said, surprisingly confident, the two coaches glancing at her, "If they were _that_ weak they wouldn't have gone that far and they definitely wouldn't have faced Shiratorizawa times and times again. They won't break for two little points of lead."

The plays went on, both teams holding on and getting points but never getting a real lead. The tension was so high, everyone was on edge while the players were all giving it their all, not giving up and both determined to win.

Kiku startled when the alarm announcing the technical break resonated.

 **6 – 8**

"You're doing great!" She exclaimed, giving them all water bottles and towels.

They were panting, out of breath even though they hadn't even reached half of the first set. She prayed their stamina would hold up.

They were calmly discussing strategies under the vigilant eye of their coaches.

"We'll just keep doing that – we have to get a break somehow!" Oikawa concluded.

"Oooss!"

Kiku suddenly received a bottle on top of her head, she looked up and saw Makki looking down at her with a hand on his hip.

"Why you look so gloom? If we don't have our manager encouraging us, who will?" He said, the others turning to the two of them.

She blinked before smiling, surprising Hanamaki enough that he had to hold back a startle at this sudden, unexpected reaction.

"You're right! You're the best! There is no way you'll lose!"

She thought back on what her uncle had said before before her smile got even brighter, turning to look at everyone so that they could realize she was talking to each and every one of them:

"You'll win if you believe you can!" She exclaimed, her heart beating strongly.

Some blinked, a little stunned at that, and before anyone could answer… Oikawa suddenly started chuckling. They glanced at him, worried looks on their faces because their setter looked like he had lost his mind:

"Ahah~! Aaaah! Ahahah!"

"You're creepy, stop that," Iwaizumi said with a frown.

"Ahah~! Iwa-chan~! Why would you say that? Aren't you moved by your Kiku-chan's words?"

"S-she's not–"

"W-we're not–"

"W-we, uh–"

While the two blushing messes kept stammering, Oikawa calmly continued, raising his palms to the ceiling in a laid-back manner.

"When it comes to pure strength or power – Shiratorizawa is stronger because they've got Ushijima. But a winning team isn't determined by one strong player only – the team with six strong ones is stronger!"

Iwaizumi stopped stammering and looked straight at his friend, his green eyes shining suddenly as he remembered what he had told him years ago. He was using it again now, when they needed more than ever to be reminded that a strong team isn't about one Super Ace – but about six players on the court who play _together_.

"And I know that no matter what the results at the end of the day might be – the best, _most_ complete team, it's _us!"_ Oikawa exclaimed, spreading his arms to show his teammates.

They all felt their hearts beat a little stronger before he continued:

"We _all_ have to believe we'll win – and more importantly, we have to believe in _one another!_ And _I_ believe in _you_ , guys!" He said with a hard gaze and confident smirk.

"OOSSS!"

"We're going to take this set!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, putting his hand on Oikawa's shoulder.

They made a circle, their hands on everyone's backs. Since the beginning of the match, more than any other time, they were all feeling the same emotions, they were all connected and it was this trust and strength they needed to win against Shiratorizawa.

"SEIJOU!" Oikawa shouted strongly.

"FIGHT!" They all answered just as the whistle resonated and they had to go back on court.

But this time, even more than before if it were possible, they walked on the court with the knowledge that they were the best and would win. They were all smirking confidently, following their Grand King who was finally feeling like he could _rule the court._

The game continued, Seijou getting more points but so did Shiratorizawa. If Aoba Jousai used tactics and various plays, Shirabu just had to toss to Ushijima for the team to get the point no matter what.

"We'll stop the next one!" Matsukawa exclaimed.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi stood next to him, waiting for his signal to jump to block Ushijima.

"Wait… and… NOW!"

All three jumped, moving their hands forward to stop his spike. Noticing that he was spiking for a cross, Mattsun moved his hands and even though he was fast, it wasn't fast enough and with its power, he couldn't control the ball. It went up and they all stared at it as it made a big circle above everyone's heads and going straight towards the bench.

"Watch out!" Hanamaki shouted, trying to get to the ball but he couldn't get there in time.

Kiku just had time to raise her forearms in front of her face that the ball hit her and, with a startled squeal, she fell over and behind the bench.

"Kiku!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, already running to her.

Everyone gathered around the bench, Irihata and Hanamaki helping her up.

"Are you all right?" Her uncle asked worriedly.

"I'm fine…" She mumbled, massaging her red and already bruising forearms, "How can it have so much strength after it was touched by Mattsun? He's a monster…"

"Sorry, I couldn't control its trajectory…" Matsukawa said.

She shook her head and smiled to him but she blinked, feeling a little dizzy after such a violent hit she hadn't expected. She massaged the back of her head while the team, knowing she was fine, had to go back on court to continue the game.

Ushijima sent a gaze in Kiku's direction and when she looked up at him, he raised an eyebrow, giving a little nod. She was surprised he cared about whether or not she was injured but she nodded sheepishly and he seemed reassured – even though it was hard to know when he was emotionally constipated and never changed of facial expression.

Iwaizumi clenched tightly his fists and jaw, frowning and glaring at Ushiwaka. When they noticed the dark aura surrounding him, his teammates all shivered and stepped away.

"Now it got _personal_ …" He hissed through gritted teeth, ready to smash the ball in Ushijima's face for hurting his Kiku.

"B-because it wasn't until now…?" Hanamaki asked, a hesitant smile on his face.

"Oikawa, give me the next ball. I'll be sure to get the point." He said with a strong voice, still staring challengingly at the Super Ace who didn't seem to notice anything.

The setter squealed and was quick to nod, even adding a little salute.

"O-ooss…!" He answered, knowing there was no way he would survive if he didn't give his Ace the toss he wanted.

On the other side of the net, Tendou suddenly had his creepy smile when he saw that. More importantly, he had noticed the glances Iwaizumi had sent many times over to their manager, how manager-chan was mostly focused on him and just now… the thought that she might get injured had sent him berserk. The match was almost about to turn into an Ace showdown, all because Iwaizumi was protective and _so obviously_ in love of their manager-chan…

"How~ _adorable…~!"_ He hummed.

Shirabu glanced over at Tendou and had to hold back the reflex to step away from how creepy he looked with this huge grin and mad gaze – after two years, he should be used to it but, he just _couldn't_ …

"Oi, what do you have in mind?" He asked worriedly.

"Mm~ It'll be my pleasure to crush his heart so his manager-chan can see him at his weakest~!" He said with his singing voice, staring straight at Iwaizumi.

Shirabu noticed his gaze and pursed his lips together.

"I doubt you'll be able to crush _his_ heart. Iwaizumi isn't that easily crushable, after all… you already tried."

Tendou startled at that, clenching his teeth and sending an annoyed look in his kouhai's direction. If there was _one_ Ace and spiker he always dreamt of sending into depression just with his accurate Guess Reading, it was Iwaizumi Hajime. He might get annoyed, pissed off but his will and strength of heart never wavered. Iwaizumi always came back running towards the net with a burning gaze even though he _knew_ that Tendou had guessed he'd be the one to spike. He'd challenge him head-on. He was one of these rare players he could never break and if Oikawa had the intention of crushing Wakatoshi – Tendou wanted to crush _Iwaizumi_.

Slowly, his lips curled up into a smile and he raised his hands towards the ceiling, looking down at Iwaizumi from the other side of the net. Satori's gaze was lit with a fire that could be taken for madness if his teammates didn't know him better – but it actually was _excitement_. The adrenaline to jump where he guessed the toss would go, seeing the surprised look on the spiker's face, killing his spike and getting the point, the way the spiker's gaze always shattered along with his strength and heart… A shiver ran along Tendou's spine and he started chuckling.

"Aaah~! I'm getting into it~!" He murmured, voice trembling from how impatient he was.

He couldn't wait to see this expression of _absolute distraught_ on _Iwaizumi's_ face~! It would be the best expression he had ever seen – the most challenging spiker so far~! How enjoyable it would be to _finally_ break Seijou's Ace~!

" _Keep on breaking them~… Wha~t, you say?"_ He started humming in a low voice, getting ready for the next play.

Kawanishi served once again, easily received by Hanamaki.

"Nice receive, Makki!" Oikawa exclaimed, going where the ball would fall and lifting up his hands.

He glanced very quickly at Iwaizumi who got ready to spike, starting his run-up with a determined expression on his face.

Tendou grinned and ran towards the Ace, Leon and Ushijima following his lead. Satori hummed to himself his favorite song as he went full stop to make sure to jump properly.

" _Mm mmm~ Mm mmm~ Mmh mm mm~?"_

The toss went towards Iwaizumi and his arm swung just as Tendou jumped, followed by his teammates, hands out to stop the spike.

" _Their hearts...~!"_ Tendou whispered with a mad gaze.

"I have more heart than you, Guess Monster!" Iwaizumi exclaimed as he hit the ball.

He swung with strength, grunting and looking with fiery eyes right into Tendou's gaze. The ball hit the middle-blocker's hands strongly and his smile wavered when he was pushed backwards from the strength of the spike.

"Ola?" He murmured in confusion, looking up to follow the ball with his eyes.

Iwaizumi's spike went right through his arms despite the hands perfectly positioned and it flew up with a crazy spin. It went as high and as far as the opposite wall, hitting it with a detonating sound then falling back on the floor and rolling.

The gymnasium remained silent, everyone staring with wide eyes at the ball rolling silently. The moment Iwaizumi's feet touched the court, he straightened up with an unwavering expression on his face and all of Aoba Jousai erupted in cheers.

"Iwaizumi!" Hanamaki exclaimed, running to him.

" _Push it, push it, Seijou! Nice kill, Hajime! Hit it, hit it, Seijou!"_

"Iwa-chan! Your spike! It was so! SO!"

"Iwaizumi-san, so _cool!"_ The first and second years all exclaimed in awe.

But instead of acknowledging any of them, Iwaizumi looked straight in front of him, at the three blockers who had tried to stop him but _mostly_ at Tendou who seemed totally thunderstruck he couldn't stop the spike and _worse_ , that Iwaizumi had marked such a beautiful point.

"Go ahead and try to break my _heart_ , my _spirit_ – I'll keep hitting you with more strength than the previous spike!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

He planted his gaze in Tendou's as he smirked badly, gladly accepting the challenge.

"You're pissing me off…!" He hissed, frowning.

Iwaizumi huffed, unimpressed then turned away with absolute confidence.

His teammates continued congratulating him and tapping his shoulders while Tendou was childishly huffing and hissing about that last spike – and Iwaizumi in general.

"Seems that he still won't get broken by our Guess Monster, uh…" Leon told Ushijima thoughtfully.

The Super Ace who had been staring, a bit stunned and incredulous at Iwaizumi's last spike, nodded without a word, silently agreeing.

"Now…" Oikawa said with an excited grin, turning towards the score, "Just one more point and we can turn things around!"

 **18 – 19**

"We'll get into 20s first!" Iwaizumi agreed.

He then turned towards the bench, his gaze quickly going over the two coaches smiling proudly at him. His whole attention was on Kiku and even if she had constantly encouraged and congratulated the boys, this time, she hadn't said a word. She was still stunned, staring at him with wide eyes, lips falling open. At first, Hajime was disappointed, thinking she hadn't realized what a spike it had been, that it had been for _her_ but then… he observed her a little more. Her eyes were sparkling in awe and with something he couldn't quite understand – it was happy but soft, as if she was silently thanking him for getting this point after she had been hurt by Ushiwaka's spike. It was a gaze he couldn't stop getting lost in.

Realizing he was staring at her expectantly, Kiku blushed then slowly, she smiled. Hajime's heart missed a beat and his cheeks went aflame – she had never smiled like that to him, she had never looked at him this way and it made him burst. His mind went blank but he was filled with even more confidence and strength than before. She looked _so happy, so soft, so tender_ – and it was for _him_ and only _him_ , she had never looked at anyone else this way before, she had never offered this smile to anyone else before. It was as if they were the only ones in the room and that everyone else, everything else had disappeared. This short moment, for this beautiful smile and shared gaze, it was as if eternity had gone by and yet, it still wasn't enough and they could keep staring at each other for the end of their lives. Even separated by so many meters, they could feel their hearts beating to the same rhythm, following the same symphony of love…

Hajime could never get tired of staring at–

He gasped when he suddenly received a tap in his back that was so strong it made him choke. Bending over he started coughing and breathing hard, his back burning before he looked up with a frightening gaze at Oikawa who had just hit him. The setter startled in fear but he lifted up his hands in fear:

"S-sorry, I-Iwa-chan! But you weren't listening!"

"Oikawa-san! Iwaizumi-san!" Kindaichi exclaimed.

Realizing the ball had just been sent over and that it was in play, the two friends turned towards Tendou as he spiked but the moment he did, he ended up facing a frightening (but unexpected) wall. He gasped when he saw a worried and nervous Kindaichi, a frightening Iwaizumi glaring at him as if _he_ had been the one to hit his back and Oikawa clenching his teeth tightly to not let fear show (but he failed). Tendou turned his spike into a feint but it was saved by Hanamaki.

"Get your asses back in the game, you idiots!" He shouted after diving on the floor.

Oikawa didn't answer but run to get under the ball, sensing Iwaizumi's dark aura. But instead of jumping to toss the ball, at the last moment, Oikawa turned around in his jump and swung his arm. He hit the ball and even if Tendou jumped up and touched the ball, it was another point for Aoba Jousai.

"What were you doing, spacing out and bickering like children?!" Makki continued who hadn't missed a single bit of what had happened.

"Nice kill," Mattsun said calmly.

"Why did you hit me like that?! I almost fell into the net!" Iwaizumi hissed, turning to glare at the setter who startled and stepped away.

"B-but! You were daydreaming! You weren't answering to your name! At all!"

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to yell again but then realized that it had been his fault to begin with – he _had_ been daydreaming and staring at Kiku instead of focusing on the game.

"Still! Did you have to hit that hard?!"

"I tried to nudge your shoulder but you weren't respond–"

Hanamaki suddenly grabbed their heads in each hands then forced them to look over at the score. Both blinked then their mouths fell open.

 **19 – 19**

"Deuce…" Oikawa whispered.

"Then…"

"One more point and we can turn the score around…"

They glanced at each other then the realization that they had (miraculously) marked another point despite their bickering fell on them – and not _any_ point, the _one point_ that made them catch up to Shiratorizawa! One more point and they'd reach the 20s first and they'll turn it around!

They shouted, falling into each other's arms just before a cold aura made them freeze and shiver. They glanced over at their coach and despite the smile on Irihata's face, everyone stepped away, including Mizoguchi and Kiku.

"No more getting distracting like that, will you? We're not at any practice match, we're at the finals of the Inter-High," Irihata said and even though he sounded calm they all knew it was the calm hiding the storm.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi startled guiltily and everyone looked away.

"O-Oooss…"

Leon leaned towards Tendou with an amused smile:

"See? That's why coach doesn't want us to have a manager on our team."

Tendou couldn't help but snicker and snort at this, openly mocking the two third-years (and mostly Iwaizumi) for what had happened – they were both flushing in embarrassment at this point. Shirabu only rolled his eyes and shook lightly his head, calm and collected.

The next point would be determining but the light atmosphere that had surrounded the two teams disappeared at once. Everyone's gazes sharpened and they got ready to fight for this _one point_ , the one that might change the flow of the entire match.

"We're definitely getting this point!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"OOSSS!"

Matsukawa served, it was cleanly received and almost immediately Shirabu tossed to Leon, but the blockers were waiting for him. They got the ball and Oikawa jumped up, his form perfect and not revealing a single clue of where it might go. Several players started a run-up, looking over at the toss. Tendou glanced at Iwaizumi, taking a step towards him before changing his mind.

 _No… It'll be…!_

He jumped in the center, his hands touching Hanamaki's back attack. Yamagawa almost received it but he couldn't save the ball and it rolled away.

 **20 – 19**

Seijou erupted in cheers, everyone shouting joyfully to have turned the score around, to get into the 20s first and have a _chance_ against Shiratorizawa!

"Nice kill!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, clapping his hand on Hanamaki's back.

"Nice, Makki!" Kiku called from the bench before glancing down at her notes, "But I'm surprised… Oikawa-san always tosses to Iwaizumi-san when he feels pressured."

"Even though getting this point _was_ important, Oikawa wasn't pressured – at the moment, Seijou was in control of the game and perhaps it's _because_ Shiratorizawa knows our own team so well that Tendou expected the toss to go to Iwaizumi. Oikawa decided otherwise because it would have been an obvious choice – sending the toss to the Ace."

"Now, we're in the 20s – Shiratorizawa is definitely feeling our break on their spirits!" Mizoguchi said confidently – _too_ confidently.

When they glanced over at the other side of the court, the players were still as calm and confident as ever – it was almost annoying that they never showed any stress whatsoever…

"It's a top 8 team, they know how to deal with stressful situations and one little point ahead of them isn't enough to sober them up. If anything, it's our team that needs to calm do…"

Irihata's voice trailed off when he looked back at Seijou. But they were just as confident and calm as Shiratorizawa, without the smugness. The head-coach blinked then smiled proudly. They might not have ever gone to the Nationals, but they had the aura of _champions_.

"Shirabu."

The setter glanced at the Super Ace, Ushijima staring at him with a strong gaze.

"Send it to me. I'll get the point back." He said, everyone immediately feeling reassured.

Aoba Jousai could feel that the next spike would be by Ushijima's, they were getting the timing right for the block, they had solid receivers in the back row but… ultimately, Ushiwaka's canon easily got Shiratorizawa a point back.

 **20 – 20**

"Damn it…" Oikawa muttered, frowning.

The end of the first set got even more intense, every time a team got a point, the other would get it back. It was nerve wracking – and it was only the first set and yet it seemed they were playing for the match point. They were playing for the _flow_ of the match. Whoever would get the first set had one foot into victory, one hand already grasping the cup…

 **22 – 24**

"Aaagh, it's the set point for Shiratorizawa!" Kiku realized, nerves taking over.

Irihata had asked for a time-out just before Shiratorizawa got their match point but now, he didn't have any more time-outs for this set.

While Shiratorizawa's rotation had many choices in attack, Aoba Jousai didn't have as many options. Everyone tensed as Leon served, it was received easily by Watari and Oikawa was already ready to toss. He sent the toss to Hanamaki but Tendou almost shut down his spike if it hadn't been for Watari saving the ball, but it was off.

"Sorry, cover!"

Iwaizumi managed to get the ball, diving to save it at the last moment and quickly getting up but it was the last touch. Oikawa glanced quickly at the net – all three blockers were ready to stop him and he wouldn't be able to spike well enough to ensure a point. He might get blocked. He sent the ball over and Shirabu gasped when he was forced to receive it.

" _You…!_ Goshiki!"

The first-year went for cover, sending the ball towards the other side:

"Tendou-san!"

The blocker tried spiking it Hanamaki and Kunimi jumped and touched his ball. It flew behind them and once again, on Iwaizumi's side. He ran desperately, diving on the floor to get it up, his hand connecting at the last moment.

"Nice receive, Iwaizumi-san!" Watari exclaimed.

"Kindaichi! Last!" Oikawa ordered.

The first-year middle-blocker tried to spike it but the other first-year of Shiratorizawa, Goshiki, touched the ball.

"One touch!"

Shirabu ran to go under the ball while everyone, and especially on Aoba Jousai, struggled to gather up, knowing that another spike was coming.

"Ushijima-san!" The setter called as he sent the toss.

The Super Ace watched up the ball as he ran and jumped, doing a back attack. Kindaichi, Kunimi and Hanamaki jumped to get the spike, it was touched and flew upwards. Oikawa moved his legs, his arms spreading out to get the ball but it hit his forearms. It hit his arms, brushing the skin off and went off again in a weird angle – Iwaizumi desperately took out his hand but the ball was already hitting the floor in the same time as his body.

Whistle.

 **22 – 25 – First Set Won by Shiratorizawa Academy**

Iwaizumi got up, gritting his teeth. Oikawa felt the burning sensation on his forearms where his skin had been lightly damaged by the strong hit.

They lined up then bowed down for the end of the first set, brows furrowed bitterly.

"They won the first set but nothing is decided yet. You held on well against Shiratorizawa and you're doing better than at the beginning of the set – the timing for the block is pretty good, keep this up. As for the receive, even if it doesn't go back to the setter, bring it up no matter what!" Irihata said encouragingly.

"OOSS!"

Oikawa glanced at his arms, the burning sensation was slowly disappearing but he'd have marks – bruises, obviously, and his skin was slightly scratched where the ball had viciously spun against his skin. Seeing that, Kiku reached into the first-aid kit and took out aloe vera, hoping it'd make him feel better. She put some on cotton and put it on his arms. Tooru startled, having forgotten the rest of the world and even though it stung a little, the freshness instantly calmed his burning skin.

"T-thank you," He answered with a forced smile.

"Does it hurt? Will it be okay for the second set?" Iwaizumi asked, glancing down at his friend's arms.

"By the time we go back, I'll be fine."

"We'll cover up receive so you can ease the pressure on your arms. The last thing we need is our setter down."

"I wouldn't be put down for something so silly!" Oikawa exclaimed, feeling almost offended, "See? I'm good already!" He continued, taking of the cotton and slamming his palm on his forearm, "Agh, I've got cream on my hands now…" He mumbled.

While Kiku took care of helping him out, they discussed strategies, making sure everyone knew what to do and what was their role.

"Good luck…" Kiku said as they walked back on the court but they didn't seem to hear her, as focused as they were.

The beginning of the second set begun as intensely as the first, Oikawa getting the first point for Aoba Jousai with an unexpected second-hand attack. But Shiratorizawa was quick to get another point and equal the results. Just like the first set, for one point taken by Seijou, the white eagle's team would take it back. They were using Ushijima more than in the first set but Aoba Jousai was holding on and was just behind. It was only when Shiratorizawa marked three points in a row that Irihata suddenly called for a time-out, hoping to break their rhythm.

 **12 – 15**

They wanted to share their ideas and find a new strategy but they had already used most of their tactics, if not all. They were doing their best, trying to keep the ball in play and the rallies getting longer and longer until their lungs burnt.

"What do we do to get back?" Makki asked, still panting from the last play.

Oikawa pursed his lips together, gritting his teeth and his fist tightening around the bottle so tightly it could have crushed it.

 _Something… I have to find something, I have to think of something…! Anything…!_

"Don't get swiped in by their rhythm," Irihata spoke up, all of his players looking up, "Just because they got a break doesn't mean they'll keep it. Attack them calmly, think rationally and connect the ball. I know you'll do the right choice."

He turned towards Oikawa who squared his shoulders, perhaps a little nervously at first but as fast as he had felt weak, he remembered that _he_ was Aoba Jousai's Captain and that _he_ was the prefecture's best player. If he couldn't lead his team, who would?

Suddenly calm, Tooru turned towards his teammates with a gaze that was so focused it was scary.

"We will." He said just as the whistle resonated.

Kiku got a few bottles back in her hands, she looked up at them worriedly as they went back on the court.

Perhaps Irihata's words had reminded them of what sort of team they were, maybe Oikawa's calmness soothed them all but the next point was theirs.

 **13 – 15**

" _Nice kill, Yuutarou! Hit it, hit it Seijou!"_

"Nice kill!"

The serve was Kunimi and even if he managed to aim at a good spot that threw off the positions and forced the setter to receive, their libero sent the ball to Ushijima who marked the point.

 **13 – 16**

"Damn it…!" Kindaichi swore, staring bitterly at the ball on the floor.

"Don't mind! We'll stop the next one!" Iwaizumi exclaimed as the practical time-out resonated and they moved to the bench.

They drank and swiped away their sweat before going back to the court, Kiku staring at them with thin lips. She had been unable to find anything to tell them and they had been so busy talking strategies that she couldn't give them any encouragement…

They got into positions and waited for the next serve, all tense and observing closely Goshiki dribbling the ball. The whistle resonated and he sent a jump serve – fast and powerful, even though he was a first-year.

"Got it!" Watari and Hanamaki both shouted in the same time.

They glanced at each other in panic, realizing that Goshiki had aimed between them and they had both tried to get it. The second-year libero jumped but it was too late.

 **13 – 17**

" _Ni~ce kill, Tsutomu! Shi~ratorizawa!"_ The cheers erupted.

"A service Ace now… _seriously_ …" Mizoguchi mumbled, frowning.

Makki and Watacchi had their shoulders down and tense despite their teammates calls and encouragements as Goshiki jumped for another serve.

"Got it!" Watari shouted.

He fell on his knees but he sent the ball back to the setter. Oikawa ran, hands already in the air to attack. He tossed to ball to Iwaizumi but he had a wall of three blockers in front of him.

"Chance ball!" Yamagata exclaimed, receiving the ball and sending it to Shirabu.

"Ushijima-san!" He called.

" _Please!_ Stop it…!" Kiku murmured, clenching tightly her notebook because this point would be decisive at this point of the game.

He tossed to the Ace and despite the blockers, it didn't matter. Oikawa and Iwaizumi clenched their teeth when their arms were blown away with the ball's speed and power. Pure strength that destroyed all of their strategies and plays.

 **13 – 18**

Oikawa clenched his fists, jaw tight and glaring at a point on the floor. Iwaizumi was just as angry, frowning furiously at their own incapacity to meet head-on Ushiwakas spike – no matter how good their blockers were, it didn't matter because he was too powerful. Wall or not, it didn't matter, he'd spike through it anyway. Watari looked down, feeling guilty for the point he had given them previously – how could he be Seijou's libero when he couldn't even receive a simple serve?

Everyone was looking down, their shoulders tense and trying to keep their hearts beating vividly, with the hope that they could still turn this around but… but Ushijima's strength was _overwhelming_ … It was too much power, they couldn't stop him whether it was with their blockers or receivers…

With Seijou's mood darkening, even the cheers had gone quiet. It was been almost completely silent if it weren't for their hearts beating hollowly, frenetically against their chests – the proof they were giving their _all_ but their all still wasn't _enough_ …

Irihata realized that his team was breaking, he joined his hands to call for a time-out but before he could, Kiku suddenly stood up, fists tight.

"What do you think you're _doing_ _?!"_

Her voice resonated in the whole gymnasium, covering even Shiratorizawa's regular cheering. Stunned to hear someone scream so suddenly, everyone turned to her. Some noticed for the first time Aoba Jousai's usually quiet manager. Most just stared at her with wide eyes, not quite believing this voice had come out of _Akiyama Kiku's_ mouth.

Kiku took a deep breath and looked straight into her teammates' eyes, pointing her finger at them:

"Don't you dare give up NOW! You have _no right_ to think you're inferior to Shiratorizawa or Ushiwaka because you're NOT! Your strength simply is _different!"_

Their mouths fell open and they kept staring like idiots at Kiku, even Shiratorizawa's entire school had turned silent in astonishment as everyone listened to what she was saying.

"Your voices aren't loud enough, call for each other and keep repeating what reassures everyone! Oikawa-san!"

The Captain startled, a squealed "YES!" escaping his lips as she turned to him in particular.

"You're Aoba Jousai's _setter_ and _Captain_ , damn it! You're the _best_ player in the prefecture – you _know_ what you're doing and you've vanquished everyone so far! Same for Ushiwaka! You're the _Grand King_ so don't doubt you will win this match because if you can't win, no one else can! Go rule the court!"

She then whipped towards Iwaizumi, startling him.

"Iwaizumi-san! You're the Ace Oikawa-san has trusted all these _years!_ You are not weaker than Ushiwaka! You're a top ten Ace as well, aren't you?! Then _prove_ it so! Makki! You're the strongest player after Iwaizumi-san and _I_ , better than anyone, _know_ how much you evolved through the years! Mattsun, you _know_ the timing of the block to stop Ushiwaka so don't get overwhelmed by his power and make sure it's touched to get a chance ball!"

She took another deep breath and continued shouting her advices and orders to everyone on Seijou – it was stunning but their hearts definitely beat faster every time she gave them encouragements. Her dark blue eyes were on fire – they held the hope and determination they had been slowly losing when point after point got to Shiratorizawa. Right now, she was the heart and soul of Aoba Jousai.

"Watacchi! Don't feel down for a few missed receives because you received _so many more_ balls! And you're the only one who can safely ensure an attack if Oikawa-san can't! You're _essential_ to the team!"

Watari felt tears in his eyes and Makki tapped his shoulder with a grin, feeling strangely proud for Kiku's sudden but grateful intervention:

" _Kindaichi! Kunimi!"_ She suddenly called, making the two first-years startle and flush – Yuutarou even lowered his head.

But instead of screaming, her shoulders relaxed and she smiled encouragingly, surprising all of them yet again.

"You're the only regular first-years… Don't doubt what you're capable of – you're on par with all of your senpai or you wouldn't be here. Have more confidence, okay?" She said, almost softly to the most inexperienced ones on the team.

Their eyes widened, Kindaichi blushed terribly, lips trembling while even Kunimi seemed moved by Kiku's attention.

"Y-YES!" They exclaimed with nods.

Kiku then whipped towards the cheers of Aoba Jousai, the entire assembly startling as she glared at them fiercely, even from down on the court:

"And YOU! _Voices! Louder!_ We need YOU to give strength to the players – don't let Shiratorizawa's cheers put down our boys' spirits!"

"R-right…" The leader of the cheers murmured before shaking himself and turning to the others, "O-OI! VOICES! _LOUDER!_ WE NEED THEM TO HEAR US!"

"OOOSSS!"

They started chanting even louder than before and it took Shiratorizawa's cheers so much by surprise that they had a hard time answering to it, even getting out of tune and rhythm. Right now, Aoba Jousai was ruling the _entire gymnasium…_ Or rather… _Kiku_ was ruling it, the loudest voice, the clearest mind of all. The heart and soul Seijou needed at the moment – and perhaps it was the heart and soul they had needed to win for all these years.

But Kiku still wasn't done and she whipped with pouting lips towards the two coaches – they had been smiling, surprised by her speech, but they suddenly startled and lost their smiles.

"Uncle Nobuteru… where is your legendary calmness? And _you_ Mizoguchi-san! _Stop_ frowning and sending bad vibes to the boys! _Cheer up!_ Encourage them!"

"Y-yes…!" Mizoguchi answered, too stunned to deny her orders while Irihata smiled a little awkwardly but relief obvious on his face.

Kiku turned back towards Seijou's team, they were still staring at her with incredulous expressions but their hearts were beating faster, stronger. They felt as if all of their stress and anxiousness had been turned into strength and determination. Kiku's _unwavering faith_ in them was giving them the wings they needed to fly on equal footing against the giant white eagle that was Ushiwaka.

"I believe in you…" She said, her voice calmer but still sounded clear and loud despite the cheering battle happening above their heads, "You _can_ win, _believe_ you will. I _know_ you will win this match."

Her voice was so strong and for the first time, she wasn't hesitating or stammering, her voice wasn't trembling, she didn't look away. She stared straight at them and perhaps she was shy and awkward with people most of the time but right now, she was the strongest and most impressive woman they had ever faced. They were facing an Akiyama Kiku they didn't know, but they _needed_ her to encourage them and give them strength when they were doubting themselves.

Aoba Jousai might be lead by the _Grand King_ but right now, they had a _Queen_ believing in them and they would fight until the _end_ to prove their worth – to her, to themselves, to everyone who thought that only pure strength could win in volleyball. Whoever was their opponent – they'll be the _winners_.

Slowly, Oikawa smiled, feeling reinvigorated, almost too cheerful for his own good. He turned towards his teammates, his natural and usual easy-going good mood back and lifting their spirits even more.

"Kiku-chan's right! We're _Aoba Jousai!_ We don't let Ushiwaka or _anyone_ take us down – _we_ are the ones to rule the court!

"It's time to turn things around!" Iwaizumi exclaimed loudly, covering the cheers so that everyone, Seijou _and_ Shiratorizawa, would hear them being pumped up and ready to get their rightfully earned victory.

They gathered quickly, Oikawa's hand on the center of their circle and everyone putting their hands on top of one another.

"SEIJOU!" He shouted loudly.

" _Push it, push it, Seijou!"_

"FIGHT!" They all echoed.

" _Hit it, hit it, Seijou!"_

"OOOSSSS!"

When they turned towards Shiratorizawa, they all shivered at the intensity with which Seijou stared at them, as if surrounded by a hungry fire that would burn them if they didn't win – the only other option was for this fire to burn their opponents.

" _Waaah_ … that manager-chan knows how to talk…" Tendou said, an almost amused smile on his face.

"I'd think she was more of the quiet-type…" Shirabu said, blinking.

"She almost scared me when she started shouting," Yamagata admitted.

"But Seijou's in trouble…" Leon remarked because now that the players were listening to him, the referee glared at Kiku for interrupting the match and whistled, lifting up a yellow card.

She went back on the bench with red cheeks out of embarrassment, but no one else on Aoba Jousai seemed to care that she had caused them trouble.

"It doesn't matter, they're pumped up… It's almost scary how determined they suddenly are…" Goshiki muttered.

"No matter how determined they are…" Ushiwaka started, everyone turning to him, "We'll crush them."

His eyes were burning just as intensely as Seijou's players'. He had been just as invigorated as his opponents by their sudden wake-up call from their manager.

Hajime took a deep breath then breathed out, his entire body calmer now thanks to Kiku's words. She believed in them with such confidence that there was no way she was believing in the wrong outcome – they _had_ to win, no matter what. Who were they to lose when they had such a lovely manager giving them hope? But that was what _Seijou's Ace_ , the _player_ was thinking about their manager's intervention. _Hajime_ … Hajime felt his heart so big it was almost bursting from his chest and he had to hold back the urge to run to her and kiss her. He was _so proud_ … She might have spent years on the cheering club, but she had never cheered with as much heart as she just did and he was so, _so_ glad she was _happy_ and _confident_ and _strong_ – thanks to Aoba Jousai's volleyball club. He loved all of Kiku's sides but this side of hers was definitely one that made him feel pride for everything she's accomplished in just a few months. From being ignored by everyone, she had become the heart of soul of the team, even for a short moment, she had ruled over the entire gymnasium.

She might be silent more often than not, she might be awkward and shy with people but… but she had so many words to share with the world. She might stay silent but her mind was so loud. Her voice… _she didn't have a_ _ **Quiet Voice**_ _._

She was loud and beautiful in this way. He had fallen in love even more with her to see her so _bright_ and _strong_ and _confident_ , standing in the gymnasium during the Inter-High finals as if her words could wipe away Ushiwaka's power. Aoba Jousai might be the team facing Shiratorizawa's, but the one who had challenged them the most today was Kiku.

"Your girlfriend really is something, after all, Iwa-chan…" Oikawa murmured to him, a glad smile on his face.

Iwaizumi, reminded that he was still on the court and that the next point would determine the fate of this game, turned towards his friend. He blinked, as if realizing that he wasn't the only one in awe with Kiku's speech at the moment. _Everyone_ was. And _he_ might be the one who _cared_ for her and was _desperately_ in love with her… but at this moment, _everyone_ was a little bit in love with the strong Kiku who had given them back their confidence.

"She really is…" He answered with a soft smile, his gaze burning bright.

Oikawa stared at him, surprised he hadn't reacted to Kiku being called his girlfriend… but Hajime's eyes at the moment were indescribable: they were shining with strength, confident and rage to vanquish, but also so much love, pride and softness… Tooru had never seen him like that. He was happy for him. But he couldn't help and feel a little bit envious. He barely realized that he glanced up at Shiratorizawa's supporters but just as quickly, his attention was back on the game.

"Let's prove she's right," Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi nodded and their fists connected just before the whistle resonated. Goshiki served once again, the ball was received by Watari and Oikawa went to toss. There was a short moment, when Oikawa stood there, hands in the air and fingers spread out, waiting for gravity to bring the ball to him. _Everyone_ knew how important this point was, _everyone_ held their breath. He jumped up just as his fingertips connected for a short moment with the ball, he barely had time to feel it that he moved. His form was perfect but everyone knew who would get the spike in. Iwaizumi had already made his run-up, his legs bent down, arms spread in his back like wings then he jumped. His left hand went up to aim while the ball came to him at such speed it was almost impossible to see it cross the court. His right arm swung and almost in slow-motion, he could see the blockers already there to stop him.

 _Like hell I'll let you get another point! I have to show my Kiku what I'm worth,_ _ **who**_ _I am!_ He thought to himself, his gaze burning.

His palm hit the ball and it broke through the wall then landed on the floor with the sound of thunder, blockers and spikers all landing on the floor and watching the ball roll.

 _I'm Aoba Jousai's Ace! I'm_ _ **Oikawa's Ace!**_

The whistle resonated and with it, all of Aoba Jousai erupted in violent cheers. Iwaizumi and Oikawa turned to each other and slammed each other's hands with excited grins on their faces.

 **14 – 18**

"Nice kill!"

"IWAIZUMI!"

"Iwaizumi-san!"

He turned towards the bench, the coaches nodding at his spike, but the only person he saw was Kiku. She was hopping up and down, clapping her hands and screaming his name in pride and joy and encouragement. Hajime grinned just as happy and excited as she was and he held out his closed fist, towards her. She stared at him then she did the same, like an invisible fist-bump, a long-distance congratulation.

Makki surrounded his shoulders with one arm, using his other hand to ruffle his friend's spiky hair but for once, it made Iwaizumi laugh.

"Y'should have send her a kiss from your fingers! She'd have answer with a real one!" He murmured in his ear, making Iwaizumi flush.

Everyone's excitement was too great but this _one point_ meant so much: Aoba Jousai was back and kicking ass.

Swiped in by Aoba Jousai's enthusiasm and sudden comeback, Shiratorizawa couldn't stop them from getting another point. Unfortunately, as easily as any other point they earned, Ushiwaka stopped Aoba Jousai's sudden break. It wasn't enough to destroy their spirits, though – _not anymore_. And not only the following point was theirs, but the rotation also got Oikawa at the serve – it was the best opportunity for Seijou to make a comeback.

 **16 – 19**

"Let's stop them _now_ before they got into their 20s…" Oikawa murmured with wide, excited eyes.

Aoba Jousai had started to take control of the game, slowly but surely with these last plays, ever since Kiku had given them the words they had needed. Like vines and plants slowly grasping a bird feet – now it was time to clamp down the white eagle's wings.

"Nice serve!"

The whistle resonated and Oikawa threw the toss upwards. He made a few steps, an agreeable feeling of satisfaction filling him when he noticed that the curve of the toss was _perfect_. He jumped and swung his arm, his excitement and pleasure of _absolutely_ getting this point giving him even more power than usual.

It flew over the court before anyone had time to react. It hit the floor just before Ushiwaka and it went up again, rebounding and flying right past his ear. Eyes wide, Ushijima stared at Oikawa whose power over the court at the moment was overwhelming. He could still hear the banging sound of the ball, he could still feel the wind when it had flown past his head, he could still feel his ear burning from the way it had brushed so closely to him…

 **17 – 19**

But Ushijima wouldn't be the Super Ace if he were to back down from a challenge. He frowned, getting ready to get the next one.

More determined than ever, Oikawa got ready for another Service Ace – just as Shiratorizawa called for a time-out. The Captain frowned and clicked his tongue annoyingly but Aoba Jousai gathered on the bench. The only one who sat on the side, closing his eyes to keep his focus _absolute_ , was Oikawa. But the team could handle it without him – they were used to it.

"We're doing great! Just three more points and not only we would have caught up with Shiratorizawa, but we would have reached the 20s first!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, the others cheering at that.

"You are _incredible! All_ of you! Keep doing that!" Kiku exclaimed, bouncing up and down excitedly.

Iwaizumi glanced at her very quickly, wanting to thank her for her words from earlier but he didn't want to break the atmosphere – and if he started staring for too long, or if anyone _(read: Hanamaki and Matsukawa)_ had the bad idea of teasing him (as they surely would) it wouldn't be good. So he calmly looked back at the others as they grinned excitedly to feel like they _really_ could grasp victory.

Once the time-out was over, Oikawa went back behind the serving line, his focus unshakable as he dribbled the ball a few times. Once again, he served perfectly and it flew over with power and speed. Ushiwaka thought it was coming straight at him once again and he braced himself to receive but at the last moment, it curved. Yamagata tried to get it but he was too late and it was another service Ace for Seijou.

 **18 – 19**

The gymnasium seemed to be about to burst into flames from how excited it was – everyone could see that Oikawa was doing even better than usual.

"Sorry…" Yamagata said through gritted teeth.

"Don't mind! We'll get the next one!"

" _Come on…"_ Kiku whispered, hands joined together, " _One_ more point and we've caught up to them…"

"One more! Nice serve!"

Oikawa served but unlike all of his other serves until now, this one was short.

"Front! Front!"

All of Shiratorizawa's players who had retreated backwards ended up diving to save the ball but it was too late.

 **19 – 19**

"Damn it…!" Goshiki hissed.

"Don't worry, Goshiki, we'll get the next one," Ushijima said.

"Y-yes…!"

There was yet another serve for Oikawa. He took a deep breath then tossed the ball up.

"I won't let you get any more points…!" Yamagata exclaimed.

He jumped just in the direction of the ball and received it, almost falling backwards from the power behind it.

"Got it!" Shirabu called, running to it.

"Center!" Ushiwaka screamed.

The setter glanced at him very quickly then tossed, calling for him. The three blockers jumped but the power behind Ushijima's back-attack was too much and despite the one touch, no one could receive it behind.

In the end, the white eagle just had to spread his wings wide to break the vines' hold on himself. He just needed one strong flap of his wings – and he flew off and out of reach of the plants.

 **19 – 20**

"Damn it!" Oikawa hissed, glaring at the Super Ace who acted as if it was normal.

"Don't mind! We'll get the next one! We won't let them take a lead!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

"OOSSS!" His teammates answered.

After that, despite Aoba Jousai's incredible break, the two teams came back to the rhythm of most of the match: for one point taken, the other team would get it back. They were neck-to-neck, neither taking a significant lead while the pressure and tension kept rising and rising… The more points Shiratorizawa was taking, even if Seijou was just behind, the closer they were to victory.

" _Nice kill, Yuutarou! Nice kill!"_

 **23 – 24**

"One more point and we've caught up! We'll get this one!" Iwaizumi shouted.

"OOSSS!"

He threw a strong gaze at Oikawa who understood without a word, giving a sharp nod.

Leon's serve was received easily by Watari, sending the ball to Oikawa. He tossed to Iwaizumi but the blockers were waiting for him, Tendou's lips curling up into a vicious smile when he saw the Ace frowning.

"Chance ball!" Yamagata called, sending the ball to Shirabu.

"Ushijima-san!"

"We're stopping it!" Iwaizumi shouted.

"OOSS!" Kindaichi and Kunimi answered.

They got ready to jump to stop Ushijima's spike. They knew the timing by now. They bent down, waited, waited and then they jumped, holding their hands forward. The ball hit Iwaizumi and Kindaichi's arms and they almost fell backwards from the strength of the blow. Iwaizumi turned around at once, watching at the ball flew straight to the floor. Oikawa saw it coming, his fingers twitched but his body never reacted fast enough. The spike sounded like a canon. A final blow echoed by the whistle of victory…

 _No…!_ Oikawa thought, his eyes wide and staring at the floor where the ball had landed, just one meter from him.

 **23 – 25 – Match Won by Shiratorizawa Academy**

There was a short moment where no one on Aoba Jousai's side moved an inch, just staring at the ball rolling away, not quite realizing they had lost. Again. They had worked so hard, for so long, they had tried their best, they had put their everything into this match… Loss hadn't hit them yet. They weren't ready to bow down yet. They wanted to stay on the court. They wanted to keep playing.

But they couldn't. They had lost, they had to line-up and they had to leave. The competition was over for them.

"All of our practices, experience and strategies are being broken by force… Well, I guess the actual path to victory doesn't really matter. The one that lets the ball fall on the court loses. That's everything…" Oikawa murmured with wide, angry eyes.

Slowly, still not quite realizing the loss, they turned around and moved to line-up. The moment they faced Shiratorizawa at the other side of the court, some started to feel their eyes tear up. Some had their hands tremblings. Others had to bite on their lower lip.

"THANK YOU FOR THE MATCH!" Everyone shouted, bowing down.

Aoba Jousai's bow was forced, slow and their voices barely came out of their mouths. It was when the first strangled sob resonated. They moved towards the net and shook hands with their opponents… More than opponents who had won this match, the finals… Shiratorizawa was the absolute rivals of Aoba Jousai.

Oikawa showed his hand but didn't move it much until it was suddenly grasped tightly by Ushijima who shook it firmly.

"You lost."

Oikawa froze, his eyes wide and he looked up at Ushijima who was staring back at him with an unwavering confidence. _The confidence of victors._ Tears filled Oikawa's eyes but the rage in his gaze was burning so hotly that the tears went away at once. His expression deformed by the weight of loss, by the regrets and the cold anger that _everything_ he had practiced for had been _useless_ , that the competition was _over_ and that his time on the court was _finished_.

Before Ushijima could step away, just as his hand was slowly letting go, Oikawa's hand clenched tightly Ushijima's. So tightly that Ushijima frowned, tightening his jaw. Tooru's hand around Ushijima's was white from how tight he was clenching it.

"Next time…" He started in a breathy, harsh voice, "Next time… it'll be _you…!"_ He hissed with a vicious determination.

Ushijima stared back at him then Oikawa forced himself to let go of his hand, turning away from his greatest rival. Iwaizumi had been waiting for him and had heard it all. His eyes were a little shiny but the moment he saw Oikawa walk away with his fists clenched so hard his muscles and bones were hurting, Iwaizumi felt the air cut from his throat. He took a shaky breath in, blinking away the tears and following his setter.

They lined up with the rest of their teammates, everyone holding back their tears, everyone keeping their lips thin and their anger and bitterness crushing their hearts. There was a moment of silence, Oikawa glanced to make sure everyone was here, his heart clenching even more when he saw Iwaizumi biting hard on his lower lip, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. Then, the Captain of Aoba Jousai turned towards the cheers.

"Thank you for cheering on us!" He exclaimed with a strong voice.

"THANK YOU!" His team echoed, everyone bowing down.

Their lips trembled, their voices were tied with sadness and bitterness and tears finally rolled down. Aoba Jousai had fought a beautiful battle. It was their final bow.

They went back towards their coaches and manager, Kiku silently crying but trying to hide it from the boys even though they didn't realize it, all busy sniffing and wiping their uncontrollable tears.

They glanced up at Irihata who watched them for a little while before speaking up calmly:

"You fought your best match." He simply said.

They all lowered their heads, more tears blurring their visions. At the moment, even if they knew their coach was saying that to lift up their spirits, it crushed their hearts to know that even when they were doing their _absolute best,_ they still couldn't win…

"Don't forget to stretch, go breathe a little and be back for the award ceremony." Mizoguchi added, a little teary-eyed as well.

The two coaches nodded to their team, deciding to give them some time. Kiku hesitated, glancing between the boys and her uncle but they didn't seem to notice her. She started following the two coaches but a hand suddenly grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She glanced up at Hajime who, even if he hadn't moved other than his arm, had reached for her before she could be gone. He didn't look at her, too ashamed by the loss and the tears that didn't stop. He couldn't face her _now_ … Not after she believed in them so strongly – they had failed her, _he_ had failed _her_ and it hurt more than any loss…

Kiku stared at the rolling tears and the way he kept biting on his lower lip until it drew blood. His hand holding her was firm but he didn't tighten his grip. He was shaking, his entire arm, his entire body… He was holding back the sobs, like everyone – it was as if they still couldn't register the total weight of their loss and their bodies were instinctively trying to hold back the flow of emotions.

Slowly, Kiku moved her hand until her fingers entwined with Hajime's. He took a shaky breathe and more tears flowed. She squeezed his hand for reassurance and he closed his eyes but when she spoke up, despite her tight voice, even if she was holding his hand, _everyone_ heard and _everyone_ knew she was talking to _all_ of them.

"I'm proud of you."

They all started sobbing and crying even more than before, sniffing and hiding their faces in their shirts or the towels. Some sat down on the bench, others on the floor, most remained standing.

At some point, Kiku stepped away from Hajime and stopped holding his hand and started distributing handkerchiefs and water bottles, whispering comforting words to everyone, reminding them to stay hydrated, to wear their jackets to not catch a cold and to wipe the snot and tears – they had fought such a beautiful battle, they _had_ to stand tall and proud when they'll receive their medals.

When they stopped crying, feeling a little dizzy and drunk from their own sadness, they stretched and went to clean their faces, partly because of Kiku's insistence. The cold water was waking them from their numb sadness but it only reminded them more of reality. They had lost. They had to wipe more tears and splash more water on their faces.

They lined up for the ceremony, bitterly receiving another silver medal around their necks. It went in a flash, or rather, no one had the mind to focus on what was going on. They all scattered to get ready to leave Sendai gymnasium.

Oikawa was leaning against the wall behind the gymnasium, surrounded by green grass and a few scattered trees. The sky was blue and it made him even more bitter to know that the sky seemed so happy when he had lost _again_. His eyes were still red and puffy and he felt exhausted – from the intense match and the emotions he had faced…

"Oikawa!"

He turned towards Iwaizumi who approached him, hands in his pockets and eyes just as red.

"I'm coming…" Oikawa answered, pushing himself off the wall.

He glanced over his shoulder and around him one last time, but when the person he had been hoping for still _didn't_ appear, he gave up, his shoulders dropping a little more and his heart getting a little heavier…

Iwaizumi caught the signs but misinterpreted the reasons for it. He looked away, lips turned into an angry pout – at himself for not being an Ace good enough to be able to mark more points against Shiratorizawa, for not being better at blocking Ushijima, for being so… so _weak_ … SO–

"I'm sorry…" He muttered.

Oikawa froze and glanced at him, eyes widening in shock. He opened his lips but Iwaizumi continued, tears shining in his gray-green eyes once again:

"I'm sorry I couldn't get more spikes in and that I couldn't–"

"Stop. Stop it, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed suddenly.

It made the Ace startle a little and he glanced up at his friend who continued, looking absolutely _furious_ :

"Don't think like that, Iwa-chan! You are an amazing and talented player, you are skilled, reliable and powerful! You're a top ten spiker! We _lost! Again_ but… but it _was_ …"

Oikawa's voice trembled and broke, tears filling his eyes once again. Both glanced down at the grass under their feet.

"But it was the whole _team_ … Our team was weaker than Shiratorizawa's… that's why we couldn't win…" He whispered bitterly.

He put his hand on Iwaizumi's shoulder and what he meant to be a quick squeeze turned into a desperate grip.

"Don't burden this loss all on your own, Iwaizumi… we _all_ lost… And… and I don't want you to think less of you. You're a great Ace. So… don't leave me behind…" He murmured to his best friend.

Hajime closed his eyes and clenched his fists, biting hard on his lower lip until he drew blood. Then, he nodded. A quick, sharp nod.

Only Oikawa knew about his inner conflict concerning his future after graduation. Hajime had many options and he couldn't really decide. The one thing that inspired him more than anything else… it was volleyball. But he was too confused about his own strength to be absolutely sure of his choice for his future. He was good, he was powerful. But there were better and more powerful spikers out there. He didn't want to particularly stand out but he couldn't remain in anyone's shadow either. He couldn't babysit Oikawa anymore… and he couldn't follow him this time.

" _Don't leave me behind…"_

"Let's go find the others…" Oikawa murmured, both walking slowly, with heavy steps back to the gymnasium.

Once everyone had been gathered, they walked out of the gymnasium. They looked up, blinded by the bright sun and breathing fresh air. They were changed and carrying their bags, walking back towards the bus that would take them back to Aoba Jousai, they'd discuss there their match. They were all walking slowly, their spirits worn-out, their muscles and bones aching from the intense match, their bodies heavy from the loss…

"Aaah~! We won, again~!"

The entire team tried to ignore the happy voice that was so unnerving. They clenched their fists, suddenly wanting to make a run for their bus. Shiratorizawa _had_ to go out of the gymnasium in the same time, _didn't they…?!_

"Tendou, don't start–" Semi started, but the middle-blocker didn't listen to him.

Not having noticed Aoba Jousai yet, just a few meters away from them, Tendou ignored Semi to put on his headphone, his favorite song of victory starting. He chuckled, raising his hands to the sky as he happily hummed.

" _Mmmm mm~ We aaaare the chaaaampiiooons~!_ Come on, Wakatoshi-kun, sing with me~! _We aaaare the chaaaampiiooons~!"_

Aoba Jousai froze in their step and it seemed to be just around the time Shiratorizawa noticed them as well. For a moment, they all stared at each other, the losers furious to be mocked this way (even though Tendou was unaware of their presence and was just being his happy-self) and the victors a little embarrassed to be caught with their middle-blocker singing _"We are the Champions"_.

Semi reacted first, whipping around and hitting Tendou so hard he bent over, gasping in the middle of his singing.

" _We are the Chaaam_ – PAAH! _Semisemi!_ Why would y…"

His voice trailed off when he noticed Aoba Jousai glaring at him viciously. Tendou swallowed hard because even if he wasn't one to step away from his usual teasing… he knew what it felt like to lose and he knew how much it hurt. He knew how much Aoba Jousai was hurting at the moment and hearing him doing his usual post-victory singing must have been awful…

"Stop it! Come on! You're being rude!" Semi scolded, pulling at his teammate's headphones.

"Right, right… I'm stopping now!" Tendou answered stubbornly.

Iwaizumi gritted his teeth, wanting nothing more but to punch that ipod in his face. Oikawa was about to tell the others to ignore him and keep going when someone else spoke up.

"How…"

They all turned their attention to Kiku whose eyes were still red from crying. She was shaking from her spot, staring at Tendou – not with anger but enormous disappointment that he'd dare sing this song when they hadn't even left the gymnasium.

"How _dare_ you…?" She hissed.

Tendou pouted and opened his lips to apologize when Leon elbowed him but before he could say a word, Kiku's bag suddenly dropped on the ground.

"Kiku… chan?" Oikawa called, blinking and not knowing what she was doing.

Then, she started walking with determined steps towards Shiratorizawa, hands turned into tight fists. She looked so furious their middle-blocker had hurt even more her boys that no one dared to do or say a thing, too stunned by the turn of events.

Irihata's eyes widened when he saw her walking like that towards the Guess Monster – and as brilliant as he was to read a toss, he had _no idea_ what was coming his way…!

"I-Iwaizumi!" He called.

The Ace startled but understood that for some reason, Kiku needed to be stopped at all costs. He walked after her but she was already reaching Tendou, pointing a vicious finger at him but he only blinked in astonishment at the petite girl.

" _You…!_ You! You are…! _A!_ A _mo-mons…!"_

Not having the heart to actually call him a monster even though at the moment she hated him from the bottom of her heart, she snatched the ipod from his hands and lifted up her arm to throw it as far away as possible, not thinking of the consequences of her actions. Everyone on both sides screamed.

"O-OI! OI!" Iwaizumi screamed.

He grabbed her arm before she could throw away the ipod and grabbed the device, sending it back to Shiratorizawa – Yamagata caught it in time but Kiku was still furious.

"I can't believe you had the _nerves_ to do such a thing!" She screamed, pointing a vicious finger at Tendou who startled, "I hate you! HATE YOU! You're an absolute hateful being! An asshole! A dickhead! A–" She shouted, trying to punch and kick him.

"OI! _Kiku!_ C-calm down!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

But she didn't, throwing insults and hits at the middle-blocker that remained out of her reach. Before she could _actually_ hit him, Iwaizumi grabbed her waist and lifted her up on his shoulder and walked back towards Aoba Jousai's incredulous team while she kept on screaming insults to the middle-blocker.

"Kiku! What were you _thinking?!"_ Her uncle scolded, but she crossed her arms and pouted stubbornly.

"He DESERVED it! Why did you stop me?!"

" _Where do I start?!"_ Iwaizumi hissed, still keeping her on his shoulders because he was pretty sure that the moment her feet would touch the ground, she'd run after the red-head.

"Let's go before a murder occurs!" Makki exclaimed, pushing Iwaizumi carrying Kiku.

They hurried to their bus, Shiratorizawa remaining on their spot, staring from afar at the quiet but… _surprising_ manager of Aoba Jousai…

"…Still think she's the quiet type?" Yamagata asked Shirabu whose mouth was still hanging open.

"S-scary…" Tendou whispered while he was being given back his ipod but the poor middle-blocker was still shaking – if Iwaizumi hadn't reacted in time, he would have been hit by the crazy girl.

"It'll teach you a lesson for singing _'We Are the Champions'_ when we're just exiting the gymnasium! Do it in your room – not in public, damn it!" Semi exclaimed, thinking that even if the manager _had_ gone overboard, Tendou had somehow deserved it – _karma_.

"I don't want to face this girl ever again…!" Tendou whined, pale after the showdown.

"You faced the most powerful spikers of the country, how can you be scared of one girl?" Leon asked.

"Have you seen how _furious_ she was…?!" Tendou hissed shakily.

They all remembered how she had motivated Aoba Jousai enough for them to make an amazing comeback. And how she had walked straight to Tendou with a murderous aura just for hurting her teammates…

Most shivered in fear and hurried in the safety of their bus, their coach sighing and shaking his head.

After a very quick discussion between coach Irihata and Washijo and their teams' Captains (Ushijima was as calm as ever and Oikawa had to bite the inside of his cheeks to hold back his laughs) concerning the last accident, their teams remaining in the bus but watching from the windows, they agreed to never mention it again because even though Kiku had been reckless, on the edge of dangerous (to use a gentle word)… Tendou shouldn't have acted so childishly either and had been riling the team up from the beginning.

"Shiratorizawa doesn't want any excuse for your behavior." Irihata said when he came back into the bus.

Iwaizumi sighed in relief but Kiku, who had been sulking on the seat with crossed arms, just looked away.

"But if you _ever_ act like that again to the point of risking Aoba Jousai's volleyball team's reputation…"

The calm voice was so cold and threatening that everyone in the bus shivered and tried to hide in their seats. Kiku startled and paled a little, even started trembling but then, Irihata sighed and asked Mizoguchi to start the bus to _finally_ drive back to the school.

Oikawa sat down next to Kiku instead of Iwaizumi, just a seat behind. The Ace raised an eyebrow at that and also at the unusually bright smile on his friend's face while Kiku moved away from him, eying him suspiciously.

"In the name of Aoba Jousai's entire volleyball team's, _I_ , Oikawa Tooru, thank you Kiku-chan~!"

"For… what…?" She hesitated.

"For saving our honor! Of _all_ people on the team, you're the only one who faced the Guess Monster and managed to get him to quiver in his shoes! Even the _best_ players in the country can't accomplish that much! Even _Iwa-chan_ failed to threaten him!"

Iwaizumi coughed loudly, glaring at Oikawa who ignored him. A chuckle erupted and the team turned towards Hanamaki who had his forearms resting on the top of Iwaizumi's seat.

"When I think that you were about to throw away his ipod! I don't know if I should be glad or regretful that Iwaizumi intervened in time!"

"O-oi! It would have been bad for us if she had thrown and broken it!" Iwaizumi replied.

"But he had deserved it, this asshole, constantly blocking us and then mocking us," Matsukawa continued with a shrug.

"I don't think he even knew we were here when he started singing, though…" Yahaba intervened hesitantly.

"Still! Their faces were priceless! Not just Tendou – but have you seen Semi and Ushiwaka?! They couldn't believe it!" Hanamaki exclaimed.

Smiles broke on their faces and several chuckled, their chuckles quickly turning into hysterical fits of laugh, tears appearing at the corner of their eyes.

Iwaizumi was laughing as well and sat back on his seat, Oikawa smiling almost softly to see his teammates laughing even if, after their loss, it seemed like they had gone mad. Kiku stared at all of them, blinking, confused about which part of this accident had been so amusing.

Oikawa got up and quickly went to sit next to Iwaizumi but his moves had attracted everyone's attention back to him despite the snickers and laughs.

"And also… you saved our honor by giving us the strength to keep on fighting when we felt down. _Thank you_ … for reminding us that Aoba Jousai should rule the court and that we could have… that we _can_ win…"

Kiku's eyes filled with tears, lips trembling a little. Everyone thought back on this moment with sad smiles on their faces. There was silence for a short moment. Then Hanamaki's chuckle resonated once again.

"When I think back… of their stunned faces when you suddenly started shouting… These fools should have understood they shouldn't pick a fight with you…"

He chuckled a little more, a few others following but tears were burning their eyes once again. Makki hid his face against his forearms, his shoulders shaking. The chuckles slowly turned into soft whines and the laughs turned into strangled sobs. If everyone had laughed, everyone was now crying. If everyone had shared the same amusement of how unique and shocking the situation had been, now everyone shared the same sadness. But they were a _team_ and this was what team did: they fought together, they won together, they lost together, they laughed together, they cried together… And the shared the same burden, the same weight of loss.

Kiku wiped away some tears then turned around on her seat to face everyone sniffing and crying.

"Hey… you guys…" She started with a broken voice but a smile, "Thank you for giving me the chance of living so many incredible moments…! A-and… no matter what the results in the end say… for me, _you're_ the real champions!"

They smiled. Awkwardly because of their tears still streaming. Thankfully for having their cute manager who could also turn into a demon to defend and protect them. Gratefully for everything she had done to them. Just happy to have Akiyama Kiku as part of the team…

BONUS

 _[When they were going down the bus, everyone calmed down…]_

Oikawa watched Kiku walking away, teased by Makki, then he leaned towards Iwaizumi to talk to him in a low voice.

"You _do_ realize that even if she appears all cute and is all shy and quiet… Kiku-chan actually is a beast and that when angry, she's frightening enough to make all of _Shiratorizawa_ quiver in fear?"

Iwaizumi frowned lightly and sent him a confused look.

"You're still going to date her? I mean, the moment you'll make a mistake – which is sure to happen with you, Iwa-chan~ _Ouch!_ Don't hit me! – you'll have to _face_ her angry self…!"

Iwaizumi blinked then huffed, a little smile appearing on his face.

"And so? If she's angry at me, she'd probably have a good reason. And… everyone says she was scary but for me… she was just _amazing_ …" He added with a soft smile and a flush on his cheeks.

Oikawa stared at his friend then, unable to help it, a teasing smile appeared on his face:

"Oooh~ Does this mean you like dominant girls in bed, Iwa-chan~? Because Kiku-chan surely will be one hell of a woman to handle under the sheets!"

Hajime froze in his steps, blushing terribly at the suggestive tone his friend had used – the embarrassment was too much and he couldn't handle the thoughts invading his mind. Even if it meant Oikawa laughing at him, he _ran away from him._

BONUS 2

 _[That night, Shiratorizawa Academy…]_

Tendou suddenly woke up, gasping and staring around in the darkness… He had just had a nightmare about Aoba Jousai's furious manager, haunting him even in his sleep. Something made some noise in his room (his roommate's foot hitting the side of his bed) but it made him jump. He lifted up the covers to his nose. He would _never again_ sing _'We Are the Champions'_ he was now forever traumatized…!

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed the match despite their loss, and that it was up to everyone's expectations. Considering Lux already knows this, I'll make it fair and will share the information with everyone: Chapter 31 we learn the truth about Kiku. Just so you konw what to expect! ;)_

 _Don't hesitate to tell me what you thought! :D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	30. Broken Monotony

_I should probably wait a bit more but I'm too impatient to post Chapter 31 and see your reactions! XD_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : I wanted them to win too, but unfortunately, I had to follow the manga... I'm so happy you loved the way Hajime loves her - and talking about sun, moon and all... All of my main girls represent an astre of some sort: Ayaka is the moon, Kiku the sun, Akane the night (ok, not an actual spacy stuff but well), and Oikawa's girl the stars. And yes... Ushijima's cousin. Ah, by the way - she'll make an appearance in this story. And Ushijima and Tendou will reappaear as well - their interactions with Kiku and Oikawa or Iwaizumi are too funny. XD_

 _ **TamashinoSuzume** : Kiku really evolved a lot in so little tiem and just thanks to Iwaizumi and the volleyball team~_

 _ **TheLadyMuse** : Tendou's reaction when he sees her again is in THIS chapter! ;) But yes, he'll never fully recover, the poor boy... x)_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Al momento di questa storia Oikawa ha incontrata il suo ragazza ma non sa chi è esattamente. Tendou really had no idea Seijou was around when he started singing, otherwise he wouldn't have._

 _ **Krisia** : Believe me, after writing their interaction I'm going to add more of Ushiwaka and TENDOU and Kiku together! XD_

 _ **xxjaelee** : Kiku WAS the Queen of the mathc, after all! ;) Shiratorizawa will definitely reappear and Tendou will face his worst nigthmare once again. x) There won't be another guy falling for Kiku - the only one who 'could' is Tendou but he's too scared now and she's already taken; but there IS a rival with Yuuna being in love with Kiku as well. As for Oikaawa's love interest, she'll appear in this story btu he will have his own story later. :)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Writig the match was emotionally exhaustnig for me! x) Chapter 31 is soon, very very soon~_

 _ **Aquafin** : Kiku and Tendou were the best part of this chapter! XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXX : Broken Monotony

" _Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it."_

― **Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember**

" _A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers - the experience of knowing we always belong."_

― **Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions**

" _Even when you'd lost everything you thought there was to lose, somebody came along and gave you something for free."_

― **Jenny Valentine, Broken Soup**

" _Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude."_

― **Martin Luther King Jr.**

" _People have to forgive. We don't have to like them, we don't have to be friends with them, we don't have to send them hearts in text messages, but we have to forgive them, to overlook, to forget. Because if we don't we are tying rocks to our feet, too much for our wings to carry!"_

― **C. JoyBell C.**

" _Being gifted doesn't mean you've been given something. It means, you have something to give."_

― **Unknown**

Kiku looked around but there was no one in sight. Taking out the key she had asked her uncle, exceptionally, she unlocked the boys' changing-room and entered the room, leaning against the door. It smelled of sweat and boys. It made her smile. The place could use a little cleaning though. Normally, she wouldn't be allowed in this room, but because there wasn't any practice today, after their loss at the Inter-High, Kiku had asked her uncle to let her go there – so the boys could have a surprise when they'll be back. She glanced at the basket she was carrying but decided to clean the room – it'll be less work for the players, even though, it didn't seem to be their priority.

Opening all windows and the door, knowing that no one would come here, she put away all lost clothes, especially socks and put them in a bag to clean later. She threw away the wrappers of some food, the cans of drinks then she dusted the top of the lockers before cleaning the entire room. All dust and dirt was cleaned and at the end, it smelled the clean and fresh and not whatever deodorant they were using until it'd fill the room. She was organizing the boxes, putting everything right where it belonged instead of wandering in various boxes. Then, she took the basket she had brought, the initial gift for the boys, filled with little packets of cookies. She put it on top of a chair and looked around, glad of the final results.

She quickly closed the door, locking it then ran down the stairs and going towards the school building.

"Akiyama-senpai!"

She stopped in her tracks when she was called and she turned around, seeing Kindaichi and Kunimi arriving at school, as well as many other students. They smiled to her politely before glancing towards their gymnasium from where she had come from.

"What were you doing over here? I thought there was no practice today? There wasn't, right?"

"Don't worry, there wasn't any – I just needed to get something for my uncle." She answered, reassuring the boys at once.

Apologizing because she needed to go, she quickly went into the teachers' room, finding her uncle drinking tea while reading the local newspaper. Glancing over her shoulder, she realized he was reading with a frown the article about Shiratorizawa's victory… finally noticing her, he glanced up and quickly folded the newspaper.

"You're done?" He asked as she gave him back the key, "No one saw you, right?"

"No, no one came this morning. I'm almost surprised some of the crazy ones about volleyball didn't come anyway to practice."

"I was very clear with Iwaizumi that I don't want them practicing in the slightest today – they need to rest, physically and emotionally. You should go in your classroom before class starts."

Kiku nodded and turned around before remembering something and looking back at Irihata.

"B-by the way… I wanted to ask you something… but it's embarrassing…" She murmured, blushing.

He raised an eyebrow and couldn't hide his surprise by what she was asking him. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea but he sighed, giving her on a folded paper with what she was requesting.

"You know it won't please your parents. You're supposed to go home right away after school." He said, opening the newspaper once again.

"T-they don't have to know about that…" She answered sheepishly, now feeling tense and anxious.

And before he could add anything, she walked out of the teachers' room and towards her classroom. She was disappointed, a little worried, when she realized that Iwaizumi hadn't arrived yet…

 _Iwaizumi's apartment…_

The ringing of the clock startled awake Hajime and he quickly shut it off. He rubbed his eyes and heard a moan behind him and the covers were suddenly pulled away from his body.

"Oi…" He mumbled, pulling back.

For a few seconds, Oikawa and Iwaizumi fought for the covers until the Ace gave up, too tired and numb by the lasting feeling of loss. It seemed to get harder to deal with it at every competition…

"Boys, you're going to be late if you don't get up now!" His mother called, entering the bedroom.

She opened the curtains and both teenagers hissed and hid their faces against pillows, not wanting to be blinded by the sun so soon.

"Breakfast is ready, hurry up. Tooru, your mother brought your uniform and bag before she left for work. I'm putting it at your feet."

She left the door opened, the smell of breakfast making their stomachs growl and finally wake them up a little. Hajime sat up, and glanced at his friend whose hair was a mess.

"Get up…" He mumbled, kicking him awake.

Oikawa moaned even more but opened his eyes, still red from last night. They both got up but walked around the room and got ready with difficulty… everytime they had lost against Shiratorizawa, despite the initial tears, the two had always put up a face for everyone – even before they became Captain and Vice-Captain and it was only home that they allowed themselves to really cry and sob until their eyes burnt and their hearts would burst from bitterness and sadness. They usually ended up falling asleep wherever they were and one of their mother would cover them up and put the clock for the next day.

"Y'know… Kiku-chan might get jealous if she learns we slept in the same bed," Oikawa commented when he exited the bathroom, still trying to arrange his hair.

Iwaizumi sent him a non-impressed look before shrugging.

"She knows we're having sleepovers every week, and we've slept in the same bed since we were kids."

"Still, I want to see her reaction when she'll learn about it~ It'll be funny~!"

"No, it won't be."

They went into the kitchen where Hajime's parents were already here. Upon seeing Iwaizumi father and son, there was no denying they were related: both had the same dark, spiky hair and if his father had brown eyes, they definitely looked alike. The main difference was in their personalities, Iwaizumi Takashi was more joyful and loved the embarrassing dad jokes. Or simply being an embarrassing dad. Hajime didn't take much from his mother, Iwaizumi Umeko, considering she had short, curly brown hair and brown eyes – but his green eyes came from his grandmother, Umeko's mother.

Umeko was finishing to prepare the bentous while his father was sitting, reading the newspaper and eating breakfast.

"You're not working today, Iwaizumi-san?" Oikawa asked politely his friend's father when he noticed he was wearing civilian clothes and not his police officer's outfit.

He lowered the newspaper to answer while his son was looking around for the bottle of orange juice before narrowing his eyes at the (big) glass Oikawa was pouring himself.

"No, I have today and tomorrow off, then only day-shifts." He answered with a smile.

"Oi, give me that before you pour the whole bottle," Hajime ordered, reaching for the bottle.

"Iwa-chan, you know that Kiku-chan won't like you any more if you keep frowning so early in the morning?" Oikawa teased, giving him the bottle anyway.

"OI!" He cried out, blushing.

Both his parents turned around at once as he avoided looking their way. Umeko smiled, a knowing expression on her face while Takashi blinked in confusion. Then he turned towards his wife:

"When you told me you thought Hajime was in love, is that what you meant?" He asked, ignoring the way his son startled guiltily.

It was his turn to whip around with wide eyes towards his parents – he was sure they didn't know, especially not his _mother_ , that he had been _discreet!_ (Oikawa snorted at the unbelieving expression his friend was making – there was no one more _obvious_ when in love than Iwa-chan)

"Well, yes, he always goes on and on. Kiku this, Kiku that… Isn't she the classmate you had to work with on a History paper? Your new manager?"

Takashi laughed cheerfully at that and tapped his son's back proudly.

"The manager! Isn't that my boy?"

"S-she's n-not… w-we're not…"

"So, you _do_ talk about Kiku-chan to your parents~!" Oikawa hummed teasingly, chin on his joined hands.

"You stay safe, right?" Takashi continued, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not! I don't! _Dad! Mom!_ Stop!" He exclaimed, mortified by their teasing smiles.

"You finally talk about your girlfriend, we're happy for you, honey!"

"She's not my girlfriend!" He exclaimed, blushing.

"Not yet~" Oikawa added with a smirk, "Didn't you say you'd wait the end of the Inter-High to conquer her? The path is wide open, she's waiting for you to ask her out~!"

"So, she likes you back, that's a good thing!" Takashi exclaimed joyfully before looking confused, "That's a surprise, considering how gloomy you always look…"

"I don't look gloomy…!"

"Yes, you do~" Oikawa answered before screaming in pain when he received a kick in the shin, "I'm only telling the truth! But Kiku-chan doesn't care! She likes you anyway! S-stop hitting me, Iwa-chan!"

"So what is she like, this Kiku?" Takashi asked instead, curious about the girl who had perked his son's interest.

"Cute and kind, perfect for Iwa-chan~ They fit together perfectly like the two of you~!" Oikawa said, looking at the Iwaizumi couple.

They glanced at each other with happy smiles while Iwaizumi was silently begging them all to stop torturing him from embarrassment, but they all ignored him.

"They're not dating yet because a _certain someone_ is too embarrassed to even speak to her without losing his mind–"

" _Oikawa!"_

"–But it's only a matter of time~! She's the niece of the coach too!"

"They don't need to know any of that – you don't need to know any of that," he quickly added, turning towards his parents, "Stop now, we'll be late for school!"

"And she's the daughter of bakers! Akiyama Kiku! But Iwaizumi Kiku sounds great too and–"

"OK! ENOUGH NOW!" Hajime shouted, standing up with his cheeks so red he felt burning.

His mother chuckled, shaking lightly her head while Takashi blinked, a little astonished, his smile dropping.

"Akiyama, you said?"

"Yes, you know her?" Oikawa asked curiously.

Hajime threw a confused look at his father but he just waved it off, going back to his newspaper.

"No, but she sounds lovely. You'll have to introduce her to us when you'll be dating. _If_ you get over your embarrassment by the time you're done with your third-year."

"Dad!"

He pretended to be innocent, going back to his newspaper but he didn't read the words, thinking deeply about what he had just learned. Hajime decided to shrug it off, and more importantly, to _get away_ before Oikawa revealed any more embarrassing story to his parents. He grabbed his friend by the collar and started dragging him, ignoring his whines.

But even if his parents weren't here anymore, Oikawa seemed to be in a particularly teasing mood – or perhaps it was his way to cope with the defeat. Half-way to school, he started ignoring him and it finally made Oikawa change tactic. He was looking thoughtful and kept glancing curiously at Iwaizumi until he cracked and turned to him, frowning.

" _What?"_

"…Are you going to confess to Kiku-chan now?" He asked because despite the light-hearted teasing from earlier, Oikawa still remembered Yuuna's warning.

Iwaizumi shouldn't confess until what Kiku had been hiding was revealed.

Hajime blinked, blushing but looking away, thoughtful… He had meant to wait after the Inter-High but he also knew that _right now_ , was _not_ the right time. He was scared. That he'd be rejected if Kiku didn't feel comfortable with him – and whatever secret she's been hiding, it was holding them from advancing any further in their relationship. Whatever it was. More than friendship or a crush, probably being in love but could it be possible when you were not a couple? They had a _something_ going on all the time, shared smiles and gazes – but they weren't _officially_ dating.

"…I don't know…" He admitted, sadly.

Oikawa opened his lips to continue but his friend interrupted him, just as they were entering the high-school's gates:

"I don't want to think of it yet. We lost yesterday, I want to focus on the Spring High and–"

"And you'll waste even _more_ time! Stop running away, Iwa-chan! Just confront her!"

" _You're_ the one who told me not to confess yet." He replied, frowning.

" _Yuu-chan_ told me to tell you that but… but well, just go and try! What's the worst that could happen?" He exclaimed, raising his hands to the sky.

"Being _rejected?!"_ Iwaizumi hissed, thinking it was obvious but for someone like _Oikawa_ it wouldn't be – he had never been rejected (except by Yuuna but she was the only exception) he didn't know the fear of confessing and the worry about the outcome…

Tooru opened his lips but suddenly, several girls arrived near them.

"Oikawa-san! We're so sorry you lost against Shiratorizawa! Will you be all right?" One of his fangirl asked.

"I made you some cookies to comfort you!"

"You look so tired! But you were so cool yesterday!"

Oikawa quickly put on a polite smile and tried to end as quickly as possible the greeting, but when he glanced at Iwaizumi he was already dozens of meters away, going into the building. Hearing his name, Tooru turned back towards his fans, pretended to feel better after a good night even if he _definitely_ didn't feel any better.

When Iwaizumi entered his classroom, he was almost impatient to see Kiku because despite what Oikawa had asked him, despite his confusion, seeing her was his happiest moment of the day. He wondered how she felt after the defeat, he hadn't contacted her and now he regretted it. He had been too self-pitying to wonder about Kiku the previous day…

He saw her at her desk, reading and her cheek against the palm of her hand. She looked tired but she was surrounded by the morning light and his heart skipped a beat. He remembered how passionate she had been the previous day during their match, how she had protected them from Tendou's mocking at the end…

Someone suddenly bumped into him, waking him up from his staring.

"Kiku-chan! Ah, Iwaizumi-san…" Yukimura murmured, noticing him.

Kiku looked up and saw them both, blinking and trying not to glance too obviously at the Ace. Shinobu almost immediately joined her friend.

"Guess what? Oikawa-san took the cookies I made for him! Thanks to your advices, they were delicious! Thank you, Kiku-chan!" She exclaimed.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow without commenting, realizing she was one of Oikawa's fans. Well, girls who weren't were rare exceptions, after all.

"It's great for you, Shi-chan!" Kiku answered with a smile.

After some chit-chat, Shinobu went to her seat. Iwaizumi and Akiyama glanced at each other awkwardly, flushing, then focusing back on whatever they had been doing.

"How are you doing?" They both asked in the same time.

They stared at each other, a little stunned then smiling, the red on their cheeks deepening. Iwaizumi was about to speak up again to ask her but the teacher arrived and interrupted them. Kiku immediately focused on the classes. Hajime tried to focus but his body was still heavy from the finals he had fought the previous day, he still felt like he was being cheered on, like he was doing his absolute best. After all the effort and excitement, all the emotions of pride and determination, sadness and bitterness from the loss… the quietness and monotony of class was a torture. He didn't realize when he fell asleep, but he woke up when someone shook his shoulder, at lunch time from the sounds he was hearing all around.

"Where's Kiku?" Makki asked.

Iwaizumi blinked then glanced at the girl's seat, but she was gone. Her bentou was still here, meaning she'd come back.

"She always disappears at lunch to go to the restroom, she'll be back," he answered, stretching his numb limbs.

"Oikawa and Matsukawa went to buy some bread, we're having lunch here."

"Mmm…"

A few minutes later, the two boys came back, along with Kiku who put a little make-up case back in her bag. Even without saying it outloud, they had wanted to share lunch on their own, only among the volleyball club's third-years but Shinobu tagged along, sitting next to Kiku and stealing her attention for the rest of lunch break.

Hajime didn't realize that he was staring bitterly at the girl for keeping his Kiku for herself, until he was kicked under the table by Mattsun.

"You're staring too much, it's getting embarrassing for us." He said, pointing his chopsticks at the Ace.

"Oh… uh…"

He realized that many of his classmates were staring at him and whispering about _"Iwaizumi-san"_ and _"Akiyama-san"_ and _"staring"_ and _"weird"._ He stared at them, frowning and they all looked away and went back to their own business. Suddenly, Kiku and Shinobu stood up and went off, leaving a disappointed and sulking Iwaizumi whose shoulders dropped.

"Why do girls go to the restrooms so much? Kiku came back just before lunch," Hanamaki muttered.

"She forgot her make-up case, though. Perhaps she's just accompanying Shi-chan?" Oikawa suggested.

"Why do they feel the need to go to the toilets in group? They're scared to be attacked if they're on their own or something?"

"With perverts like you lurking around, probably," Iwaizumi answered, closing his bentou box, "Also, since when do you call Yukimura _'Shi-chan'?"_ He asked suspiciously Oikawa who smiled sheepishly.

"I heard Kiku-chan call her that, and it's cuter than Yukimura or Shinobu."

Hanamaki suddenly grabbed Kiku's light pink make-up case out of boredom.

"Should we have a look at what she's hiding in there?" He asked with a smirk, already opening it.

"Wait – no, it's not right! Leave it! It's Kiku's!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, trying to grab it.

"I hope you like strawberries because that's the savor of her lips~" He teased, holding up her lips balm.

"Put it back in and stop that!"

Makki gave Oikawa and Mattsun everything he was pulling out – some make-up, various pads and female things, handkerchiefs… He suddenly froze, staring at the inside of the make-up case. Iwaizumi – who had been trying to gather all of Kiku's belongings from his friends' hands – glanced at him curiously when he noticed the strange behavior.

"What is there next?" Oikawa asked curiously, leaning forward.

His smile wavered but before anyone could say anything, they heard the girls' voices. Iwaizumi quickly put everything he had been holding back in the case, Hanamaki closed it and threw it in Kiku's bag just as she was entering the classroom, following Shinobu. Iwaizumi was too embarrassed to look at Kiku after what his nosy friends had done, so he didn't realize the way Oikawa and Hanamaki glanced at each other worriedly. He also didn't realize that they left soon after even if there was still some time before the end of lunch break and that they had been unusually quiet.

At the end of the day, Iwaizumi stood up and sighed, not quite knowing what to do or where to go – without practice, he was a little lost. Kiku noticed this reaction and paused in putting her books back in her bag.

"What is it?"

"I want to go practice, I don't have anything better to do…"

She smiled, a little amused before replying:

"You should rest for today. Go home and do… whatever you do to relax. Do you play video games or… watch movies? Or something?"

He suddenly had the urge to ask her to stay with him – go eat some food, take a walk in a park, going in town… but he didn't want to sound too selfish or clingy.

"Do you… uh, have anything to do?" He asked curiously, cheeks lightly flushed.

"I-I do… but I can spare a few more minutes." She answered.

He was wondering what they could do, panicking a little because he didn't want to waste any second but he also didn't want to rush through whatever they would do next and–

"How are your arms and shoulders?" She suddenly asked.

"Uh?"

"You've been rubbing your neck and shoulders all day… did you get hurt yesterday?" she wondered, touching shyly his forearm.

"U-um, j-just a little sore…" He answered, flushing a little more.

She stared at him for a little while before blushing and speaking up again:

"Meet me in the infirmary in a few minutes, a-and you'll have to t-take off your shirt too…" She murmured, lowering her gaze while her cheeks burnt.

He blushed terribly but she was already walking away from him. Hajime remained standing there for a long moment, frozen in shock and not quite believing what was happening, what Kiku had asked of him… His heart sped up excitedly and he suddenly turned around, almost forgetting his bag and hurrying out of the classroom and to the infirmary.

"Iwaizumi!" Matsukawa called when he saw him.

"Sorry! Infirmary!" He answered without glancing at him, almost running from how excited and impatient he was.

He walked past Oikawa and Hanamaki without noticing them, the excited grin on his face making them raise eyebrows. He couldn't quite believe that _Kiku_ , the girl he was _in love with_ , had asked him to join her in the infirmary and to _take off his clothes!_ He didn't want to be disappointed but it was more beautiful than his wildest dreams!

"Where is he going?" Hanamaki asked.

"Infirmary?" Mattsun answered with a shrug.

As soon as there wasn't anyone in the hallway, Hajime hurried until he was almost running but stopped in front of the infirmary. His heart was beating hard but he couldn't tell if it was because of his run or because he was _meeting Kiku_ here… He entered shyly, slowly, calling for someone but there was no one. He heard footsteps behind him and he turned around just as Kiku arrived with a kind smile.

"Didn't I tell you to take off your clothes?"

He blushed and realizing what she had just said, she blushed as well, quickly trying to correct the misunderstanding:

"I-I mean! S-shirt! T-take off your ts-shirt!" She exclaimed.

He was almost about to ask why _just_ his shirt when he noticed something in her hands – massage oil for sore muscles.

 _Oh. That's what she had meant then_ … He realized, blushing even more when he understood that he had jumped to conclusions _way_ too fast. _Calm the fuck down, we're not even dating! Why would she…?!_

"You didn't stretch properly yesterday, and you had a very intense match. Coach… um, Uncle Nobuteru's wife is kinesitherapist. She taught me how to massage muscles to ensure a faster healing. You shouldn't force yourself for a while…" She explained sheepishly while he was slowly taking off his tie and shirt.

"Y-yeah…" He answered in a low voice, trying to keep his heart rate down to a _normal_ one.

Once his shirt was off, he started pulling at the sleeveless top he was wearing under his uniform but she stopped him there by stepping closer.

 _Not even fully bare-chest, then_ … He realized when she made him sit down.

He didn't even have the opportunity to rejoice that she was seeing his arms for the first time because he had changed a few times in front of her for practice. He glanced up at her as she walked around but she didn't seem disturbed by the sight of his arms. Instead of starting to massage his shoulders though, she knelt in front of him and gave light pressures on his forearms. She made little circles, slowly going upwards, focused on massaging him as best as she could. At first, the touch was light but almost painful because of how sore he was but with the oil and her massaging hands, his muscles warmed up, feeling better little by little. It was completely silent except for their breathings and Kiku's touch. Her nails were white with turquoise leaves. He started observing her, how her hair caught the sunlight and turned into copper. How focused she was and how her cheeks were a little pink – from touching him perhaps?

"How… how did it go yesterday…?" She asked after she had massaging his entire right arm, switching to the left, "Y-you met Kanemoto-san, didn't you?"

He quickly recalled the meeting with Kanemoto Ayaka, heiress of the Kanemoto Group that would sponsor him and Oikawa next year. And Ushiwaka. The previous day, before she'd go back to Tokyo and her boyfriend – Bokuto Koutarou, fourth spiker of the country – she had asked all three of them to meet her to discuss the next year and their plans. It had almost gone sour at first, putting the three rivals in the same room but… Iwaizumi had had the opportunity to talk about his future plans with Kanemoto and his ideas were now clearer.

"It's almost confirmed, that we'll be sponsored…" He answered.

"Then… you'll continue volleyball?" She asked joyfully, smiling to him as she massaged his bicep.

"Y-yeah… but I'm considering other options as well…"

She nodded then went back to his right arm because it the most sore one… She brushed her hands, massaging his skin carefully, just enough to make him feel warm and good. He swallowed hard when his heart started speeding up. Kiku glanced up at him very quickly and their eyes met… For a moment, just like the previous day, just like every time they looked into each other's eyes, time seemed to stop. He glanced very quickly at her lips, his heart beating even faster if it were possible. Her hands slowly brushed the length of his arm and he shivered at the light, meaningful touch. He opened his palm, her hand lingering over his, almost holding but the moment his fingers started closing around her hand, Kiku stood up. She walked behind his shoulders and the moment was broken but the atmosphere was still full of intense emotions. The warmth he felt wasn't just caused by her massage, and he was pretty sure she was feeling the same.

She started massaging his shoulders and perhaps it was because he was less tense than before (she wasn't kneeling in front of his legs anymore, after all) or perhaps he was more sore and her fingers knew just where to press but he sighed, closing his eyes. Her hands continued massaging his shoulders and neck, slipping under the few centimeters of fabric of his sleeves, warming him even more while he enjoyed the quietness and the sparkling feeling that was surrounding them. It was hot, intense and they didn't need to share words to know how they felt. She massaged for a long moment, Hajime not realizing the little moans and sighs escaping his lips from how good it felt and finally, her hands stopped moving, still resting against his hot skin. She gave a few more massaging moves against his shoulders then, slowly, she moved her hands forward, over his collarbone and almost reaching his pectorals. Perhaps she felt under her fingertips the mad beating of his heart, maybe she realized she was going too far but she suddenly froze.

Hajime opened his eyes when Kiku started pulling away, but his hands grabbed hers before she could. His fingers held around her wrists, he wasn't thinking anymore, lost into the cocoon of warmth her massage had given him. He felt a little sleepy and the only thing he could think of was her hands on him and how her kind gesture had made him feel… He closed his eyes again and lifted her right wrist against his lips. His nose brushed the tender skin of the inside of her wrists and she startled.

"I-Iwaizumi-san…" She started in a breathy voice, blushing terribly.

He didn't seem to hear her and he sighed, his lips brushing against her skin before he started kissing her delicately.

" _I-Iwaizumi-san…!"_

He would have continued kissing her wrist if the door hadn't suddenly opened, making them startle. They looked and paled before blushing terribly. Hanamaki's mouth fell open, eyes wide in shock to see Iwaizumi standing in just a top, Kiku's hands all over his body while he was kissing her wrist… Then, a teasing grin appeared on his face.

"Oh~ Sorry for interrupting~" He hummed, starting to close the door.

Kiku suddenly pulled away her hands, making Hajime almost fall over. She opened and closed her lips as Hajime realized what he had been doing – and dread and panic filled him. He turned around to apologize, blushing terribly but Kiku was already grabbing her bag and running past Hanamaki.

"W-wait! K-Kiku!" Hajime exclaimed, standing up suddenly.

"First-name basis now? Well, it's only natural when you start making-out in the infirmary. If I had known I wouldn't have cock-blocked you, _sorry_ , bro." Hanamaki said, still grinning and definitely not feeling sorry.

Iwaizumi didn't even feel embarrassed by his friend's teasing and ran after Kiku.

"O-oi! You're! Not… fully dressed…" Hanamaki muttered, "And he's not listening to me. Well, at least, the rest of the school will enjoy the view…"

Iwaizumi almost ran over Oikawa and Matsukawa who were waiting outside when he ran out. The setter grabbed his arm before he could fall but Hajime's gaze was wandering all around – no sign of Kiku anywhere.

"What are you– why are you covered in… what is it exactly?" He asked, letting go and moving his fingers suspiciously.

"Where's Kiku?!" He shouted, whipping around.

"Gone already, she said she had to go somewhere when we asked her," Mattsun answered before realizing that the two had been _alone_ in the _infirmary,_ "What were you doing with Kiku?"

"Making out, and it was hot and intense from what I saw," Makki answered with a grin.

Oikawa and Matsukawa turned towards Iwaizumi, huge, excited grins on their faces but he blushed and immediately spoke up:

"NO! We weren't! I was just sore, she was massaging my arms! Because the muscles are sore!"

"That's what we all say, ahah~" Makki said, "Also, I doubt that you give a massage with your _lips_. Or that _she_ had a sore _wrist_."

Iwaizumi glared at him while Oikawa squealed, hands going on his cheeks – but he regretted instantly when he ended up with his cheek covered in massage oil.

"I'm so proud of you, Iwa-chan~!"

"You were still on the awkward _staring-from-a-distance_ stage at lunch, how did you move so fast?" Matsukawa asked.

"W-we _weren't!_ More importantly! I need to! Talk! To her! OH! What an _idiot_ I was! What was I thinking?! Why would I start kissing her wrist?! _What was I THINKING?!"_

"With your second brain, don't worry, happens all the time to _all_ of us." Hanamaki answered calmly.

"Not HELPING!"

Iwaizumi was already turning to the hall to follow her but Oikawa and Matsukawa put hands on his chest to stop him.

"Stop there. You freaked her out. Give her time." Oikawa started.

"Also you're _glistening_ – you're one of the most popular guy in school, do you _really_ think you can get out with your _muscular arms shining from oil_ without getting chased? All of _your_ fans, and _Oikawa's_ and pretty much the _entire_ female population will try to get a piece of you."

" _M-my_ fans too…?!" Oikawa asked with wide eyes, not liking this idea.

Hanamaki threw Iwaizumi's shirt over his head, forcing him to think about _seriously_ getting dressed before going out.

"Do you even know where she went?" Mattsun asked, handing him his tie while he was frenetically getting dressed.

"I-I have an idea! I'll try and I'll see how it turns out!"

"What will you tell her?" Oikawa asked.

"U-uh…! Uh! Second brain!"

"Bad idea." Mattsun commented, shaking his head.

"Even _I_ know that." Makki added.

"I'll improvise!" He exclaimed, grabbing his jacket and bag and leaving.

They couldn't stop him, he was already running down the stairs. The moment he was out of view, Oikawa and Hanamaki darkened, the wing-spiker turning towards the setter.

"Should we tell him? I mean, I'm not _that_ surprised but… I don't think Iwaizumi realizes what he got himself into."

"…I-I don't know… we probably should but… he's so in love with her, he'll never… I feel like it's way bigger than we thought…" Oikawa answered in a low voice, pouting in worry.

"What are you talking about?" Matsukawa asked.

They didn't answer, not quite knowing what they should do – they had pushed Iwaizumi to fall for Kiku but now, it felt like their ending could only be sad. They didn't want that for their friends…

Iwaizumi went to the only place he knew Kiku often go to: Nippon SPCA. He almost busted through the door, looking around but there only was a stunned Hayato there.

"Hajime…? What a pleasure to see you here!" He exclaimed.

"U-um, hi! I-is Kiku here? I mean, Akiyama-san…?" He asked hesitantly.

"No, she said she might come by later though. You can wait for her here… but it's not certain she'll actually come. Do you want me to call her for you?"

Iwaizumi hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. His arms and shoulders still felt warm. He wanted to see her as soon as possible but she might not want to see him after what he had done…

Sensing that there was something going on, Hayato hesitated before pointing at the door leading to the sheltered animals.

"Do you have a pet?" He asked.

"Uh? Uuuh, no…" He answered, shaking lightly his head.

"Your parents don't allow it?"

"N-no, b-but… I never really thought of having one…" He answered.

 _And I have Oikawa to deal with, it's more than enough_ … He added to himself.

"I see… I know you met Kiku's pets – aren't they incredible birds? She taught them how to talk and lots of tricks. It really made her feel better when she took them in." He explained, opening the door and leading Hajime through the hall.

"T-they're pretty incredible birds," he admitted.

He realized the dog he and Kiku had taken care of the one time he had been here was gone – probably adopted by now… Then, he blinked, stopping in front of the plexiglass cage in which there was an animal he recognized.

"It's the bearded dragon from last time!" He exclaimed, approaching the animal who looked up at him, "You're healed now…" He continued, noticing the way his tail wasn't bandaged anymore and even if he had a scar, he was better.

"He's a good fellow, but he's not very good with people so we can't find a house for him. Reptiles really aren't my thing and Kiku doesn't think she could take care of him when she already has two birds and a hedgehog…" Hayato explained sadly, "If we can't find him a house soon, he'll be too old and no one will want of him. I suppose… you know what happens to animals who don't find any home?"

Hajime nodded sadly then leaned closer to the plexiglass, watching the big lizard. He had grown since he had last seen him. The bearded dragon looked him straight in the eyes, his tongue sliding out of his mouth for a short while.

Hayato glanced between Hajime and the bearded dragon before smiling:

"Do you want to hold him? He doesn't bite, I promise." He said.

"U-uh? I-I never hold a lizard, I wouldn't know…"

"It's fine, it's fine!"

Hayato opened the cage and carefully took the bearded-dragon out of its cage, making sure not to hurt any of his limb before giving him to Hajime. He struggled a little to hold him, the animal moving until he was comfortable and looking around lazily. Once he got a little more used to the weight and animal in his arms, Hajime looked at him more closely. It was strange touching the scales on his body and he was surprisingly warm. The bearded-dragon didn't seem to mind being held and even let his tongue out, giving a quick lick on Hajime's hand.

"Well, isn't that a surprise…" Hayato started, hands on his hips as he observed the two interact, "He only acts like that with Kiku. You must have her scent on you…"

It made Iwaizumi blush and it took a lot of Hayato not to laugh – so _that_ was what had happened between the two teenagers…

He took the lizard and put him back in his cage just as the front door's bell indicated that someone had come.

"It's me, Hayato!"

Hajime startled when he recognized Kiku's voice. Hayato gave a quick pat on the boy's shoulder just as Kiku opened the door and froze, seeing them and mostly, the man she liked and who had kissed her hand some time ago… She blushed and looked away.

"I have to go check some papers~" Hayato hummed, walking past Kiku and leaving the two teenagers alone – with a few dozens of stray animals watching them curiously, like some interesting show.

"Y-you came here…" Kiku said hesitantly, breaking the awkward silent.

"I-I know you come here often so I… thought… perhaps it was where you had to go… I-I'm not stalking you or anything! A-and I apologize! For what happened earlier! I-I acted like a creep and I'm sorry…!"

His heart was beating frenetically – out of fear she had gotten too scared and he might have ruined his chances with her. There was a short moment of silence, Kiku staring, stunned, at Hajime before she smiled shyly, her gaze lowering and redness invading her cheeks.

"I-it's fine… I'm the one who… started… touching you in a way I shouldn't have. I-I won't do it again, I promise…"

 _Please do it again_ … he thought but the relief that hit him made his shoulders instantly drop.

"T-then, you're not… angry at me?"He asked in voice no higher than a whisper.

"N-no, I was just… v-very embarrassed because Makki caught us like that… a-and… I would have been late if I hadn't left."

She seemed hesitant, not knowing how to stand then she grabbed the hem of her skirt with her hands and crossed the distance separating the two of them, her steps resonating. She was suddenly standing in front of him and she looked up, planting her gaze in his, making his heart go wild once again.

"Thank you… for apologizing to me… I really appreciate the gesture…" She said with a smile.

He chucked nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I-it's only natural…"

She smiled a little more – he didn't realize how much of a gentleman he was to her and how soft he could be with others. She was the one who saw it most, who saw it best and it was her greatest pride.

They stared at each other with silly smiles for a moment before Hajime started frowning.

"Hold on… I arrived here before you – where were you?" He asked, suddenly worried she had met someone.

"I-I went to Shiratorizawa Academy…" She answered sheepishly.

He gasped, stepping away, watching her with wide, shocked eyes. He felt betrayed even though in the back of his mind he knew she must have had a good reason to go to the enemy!

"Y-you… what?!"

"I wanted to properly apologize to Tendou-san and the rest of the volleyball club… Oikawa-san sent me a message telling me you had gone after me and I thought you might have come here…"

"Great minds think alike… uh…" He commented awkwardly because he had a hard time imagining Kiku at Shiratorizawa – but… apologizing to Tendou despite everything that he had done and even though she had initially been scared of him sounded very much like something she would do…

They stared at each other for a little while, until the animals became jealous that Hajime was stealing all of Kiku's attention from them. Just like the last time he had been there, Iwaizumi helped out Kiku taking care of the animals then he walked her back to her home. He didn't notice Hanamaki staring at them from his window then flopping down on his bed to share the information with Oikawa.

BONUS

 _[At Shiratorizawa Academy…]_

"It's nice having a day off~!" Tendou exclaimed, hands behind his neck, "Should we go do something in town? I'm _bored~!"_ He asked his teammates, turning around to face the third-years of the volleyball club gathered here.

"Didn't you complain about not getting enough sleep last night and wanting a nap?" Semi muttered, raising an eyebrow.

"Nah, that was when I was bored in class!"

Some whispers from other students made them all glance around. Many students of Shiratorizawa were staring at the entrance of the Academy.

"What is she doing here…?"

"That's Aoba Jousai's uniform, right…?"

"Aoba Jousai?" Leon repeated curiously.

The volleyball club finally noticed who everyone was staring at: Seijou's manager-chan who was staring at the panels, totally lost… Tendou gasped then hid behind Semi while they all approached her – curiously because they hadn't expected anyone on Seijou's team to come, and _especially_ _not_ _her_ , and _especially_ _not_ right after the defeat…

"What are you doing here?" Ushijima asked her.

Kiku startled and turned around, noticing them, then relief washed over her – she wouldn't have to get lost on the Academy grounds, after all…!

"I-I'm sorry for coming!" She exclaimed, bowing down, "I-I wanted to apologize for my behavior of yesterday… I acted recklessly… harshly… and… I went _way_ overboard…" She muttered, glancing shyly at the red-head.

They all glanced at Tendou who hadn't expected such a behavior from the girl… he stared at her with wide eyes, mouth hanging open – until Semi forced him to face her.

"…Apologies accepted…" He mumbled, glancing away.

"And?" Leon asked, leaning towards him.

"…And I have to apologize too… I shouldn't have sang the song even if I had no idea your team was nearby…" He continued, making his teammates smile.

"Y-you're not as creepy as I thought you were, after all…" Kiku admitted, a sigh of relief escaping her lips.

"You're not as scary as I thought you were," he answered with a smirk.

There was a short, awkward moment, where no one said a thing. Kiku glanced away then picked something from her bag and handed a little packet of cookies.

"I-it's for your team, as apologize and as… _congratulation_ for winning…" She said, even if it sounded like the words were ripping her throat.

Tendou actually grabbed the packet, the others glancing at him and Kiku curiously. Then his lips curled up and he raised his hands to the sky:

"If you wanted to come all the way here to confess to me, you should have just said so~!"

Kiku made a disgusted face, unable to hold back the _"Eeww…!"_ that escaped her lips. Tendou froze, a little annoyed at the _oh-so-honest_ reaction he had obtained while the others all snickered, even Ushijima had the tiniest of smile at the reaction.

"No need to look so disgusted." Tendou said.

"How can I _not?_ You're far from being as brave and kind as Iwaizumi-san." She said, still looking like she was about to throw up.

Tendou kept a smile on his face but it was obvious he was feeling a little bitter about the reaction and words she had just uttered.

"The only person she seems to see is Iwaizumi," Semi added, his hand in front of his mocking smirk, eying teasingly Tendou for getting his hopes high.

"It doesn't matter, you're still too scary! Though, don't come crying here if he ends up not being as satisfying as you imagine him to be~!" Tendou continued, hands on his hips.

Kiku glanced away, unimpressed by his looks or the _charm_ he imagined he had. There was a moment of awkward silence before she bowed down.

"I-I'll be leaving then… g-good luck for the Nationals…" She murmured through gritted teeth.

Yamagata took the packet of cookies from Tendou's hands, opening it and tasting one, a smile on his face.

"It's good!"

"It's actually very nice of her to come all the way here to apologize and offer us cookies even though we beat her team…" Semi remarked, Ushijima nodding while munching on a cookie.

"She's even Tendou's type, right? You like the cute ones. Who would have guessed you had the same tastes as Iwaizumi?" Leon said, a little teasingly.

The others chuckled when Tendou turned to them, frowning and annoyed, his mouth turned into a bitter smile. Sure, his type _was_ cute girls _but_ …

"This girl isn't _cute_ – she's the devil hiding in a cute girl's body! Don't forget how she had behaved and what she almost did to me! Perhaps these cookies are poisoned so we'd die before the Nationals and Seijou will have their revenge!" He exclaimed with wide eyes.

"…Nah, she's just a naturally good-hearted girl who felt bad for almost destroying your ipod, even though you shouldn't have pissed her off to begin with." Semi replied, taking another cookie from the packet Ushijima was holding.

"For the last time! I had no idea Seijou was around!"

"Ushijima, Semi, keep some for the second and first-years, and the coaches, we'll give them tomorrow." Yamagata remarked, the Captain nodding without a word.

Tendou gave them a long look while they enjoyed the cookies, earning strange looks from other students – some girls were already thinking of what sort of cookies they'd make for their crush on the volleyball team…

"Ah, that reminds me…" Tendou murmured.

He ran off, making the others glance at him curiously.

"Ah! Wait! Tendou!" Semi called, "Damn it, I feel like he's going to make a mess once again…"

"Should we go after him?" Leon asked.

They followed, slower than the running middle-blocker. Tendou caught up with Kiku just before she could reach the bus stop, calling her from afar:

"Manager-chan! Wait!"

She startled and glanced over her shoulder, surprised to see him coming. He didn't waste time and immediately spoke up when he reached her:

"Yesterday, you insulted me, you almost called me a _'monster'_ – why did you stop at the last moment?" He asked because it had been haunting since the previous day.

Kiku blinked, remembering when she had almost called him a monster. She flushed and glanced away before smiling to him, though, a little sadly:

"Everyone seems to call you a monster and even if it's to express how impressive your blocking skills are… I know what it's like to be called and feel like a monster… I didn't want to burden you even more by calling you this way." She explained, sounding a little sheepish and awkward.

Satori's mouth fell open and he stared at her for a long moment. He had underestimated her – she wasn't just a supportive manager, a scary demon hiding in a cute girl's body or even Iwaizumi's girlfriend-to-be… She was very observant and had guessed the torment plaguing him about being called a monster. Even though now he found pride in being the feared "Guess Monster", he always had a bittersweet taste for all the times he had been called a 'monster' just because he was different… In this way, she was very similar to him…

Suddenly, his teammates arrived and after apologizing for whatever poor action he might have done, they said goodbye to Kiku and dragged Tendou away. He glanced over his shoulder at the girl standing at the bus stop. She was keeping her hands folded together, she seemed shy but her gaze was very sad.

"Just a kind-hearted girl…" He repeated to himself, thinking back on Semisemi's words from earlier… "Iwaizumi is one lucky guy…" He added with a satisfied smile.

BONUS 2

 _[The following day, Aoba Jousai's volleyball club…]_

Iwaizumi unlocked the changing-room's for morning practice – the first since they had lost against Shiratorizawa. The team was following him, most still yawning and being a little sleep-deprived. He was the first to enter but froze in his steps, blinking in astonishment. Slowly, everyone filled in and stared, as surprised as he was.

"…It smells good, it smells _clean_ …" Yahaba remarked.

"Everything is put in the boxes," Makki noticed.

"We had decided to wait after the Inter-High to clean it all? Who cleaned up?" Mattsun asked, turning towards the second and first-years because he was sure no third-year had done it.

They all shrugged while Iwaizumi approached a chair, with a basket filled with packets of cookies. Every packet had a little ribbon and someone's name written. He grabbed the one with 'Hajime' on it and smiled softly…

"Kiku…" He whispered, realizing she must have come at some point to clean it all and leave these cookies.

Oikawa took a little paper on top of the cookies' packets and read it outloud for everyone:

" _To give you strength so you can conquer the Spring-High~ I'm proud of you, boys~"_

They all teared up hearing that, except Makki who just grinned, a little proud of how far she had gone, and Iwaizumi who was still staring at his packet of cookies.

"A-Akiyama-shaaaan…!"

"I-it's so nice having a manager…!"

"She's the best manager in the whole world…!"

While they were all crying in joy and getting their packets of cookies, Hajime had quietly slipped away from the group and had already opened his. What he found first though wasn't a cookie, it was a little piece a paper with a message that was destined for _him_ and _only him…_

 _Thank you._

He took a cookie, munching on it slowly to enjoy every savor from it. Then a soft smile lit up his face…

 _No, thank_ _ **you**_ _, Kiku…_ He thought to himself.

* * *

 _Of course, the Iwaizumi parents come from my own imagination. :3 We got to see Tendou and Shiratorizawa very quickly, and things between Hajime and Kiku accelerate~_

 _Tell me what you think~!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	31. Truth

_Hey, hey! The truth will finally arrive! :)_

 _Thank you all for favoriting, following and reviewing! :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Hajime non puo si riposare - Oikawa E i suoi genitori adorano imbarazzare Hajime. Avrai le risposte di tuoi questioni nel questo capitolo! ;) E il 32 anche! :) Ah, per il pogona... probabilmente! ;) Kiku ha un cuoro d'oro~ ;)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I love writing about the boys' parents because even if it's how I imagine them and nt canon... where are their parents?! Except Hinata's mother who appears briefly in the manga, Ushiwaka's parents, and Tsukki's mom... there are NO parent ever! Only siblings... Do these boys' parents not care about what their sons are doing? Hniata literally has 30mn of bike and goes back home at like, 8pm - does his mother never worry about him coming home too late?! I'll try to add more of Shiratorizawa! ;)_

 _ **TheLadyMuse** : Poor Tendou? He got apologizes and cookies. Granted, he's still scared of Kiku, but a little less than before... ;)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : I wouldn't call Iwa-chan a "pervert" but he IS a teenager desperately in love with lots of homrmones and testosterones. And he never had a girlfriend so... he's got lots of frustration that would make think wrongly. XD _

_**Aquafin** : They ARE adorable, and I hope they will continue to be later on~ ;) I have lots of chapters written in advance for Quiet Voice, which is why I update so much! :)_

 _ **xxjaelee** : AHah, I thinkeveryone wants more Shiratorizawa scenes, right? ;) Iwa-chan can dream, right? ;D_

 _ **Cooliceprincess** : Your guess is as good as mine... Except the Shiratorizawa VS Karasuno finals of the Spring High, there is no other match, even finals, with a match won in 3 winning sets. The InterHigh match is won with 2sets, same for the Spring High Tokyo preliminaries and finals. I think it was just the exception to make the match more intense but well... I followed the manga/anime events. :/_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXXI : Truth

" _Those who really love you don't mean to hurt you and if they do, you can't see it in their eyes, but it hurts them too."_

— **Holly Black**

" _What I have with you I don't want with anyone else."_

— **Unknown**

" _Sometimes when we get so much pain in life, we go quiet. And everyone thinks you are just an introvert but really, you are just so damaged."_

— **Unknown**

" _I mean, sometimes remembering can really destroy you."_

— **Benjamin Alire Sáenz, He Forgot to Say Goodbye**

" _Sometimes quiet people really do have a lot to say. They're just being careful about who they open up to."_

— **Susan Gale**

" _I've spent most of my life and most of my friendships holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough they won't leave, and fearing that it's a matter of time before they figure me out and go."_

— **Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet.**

" _The most intimate thing we can do is to allow people we love most see us at our worst. At our lowest. At our weakest. True intimacy happens when nothing is perfect."_

— **Amy Harmon, The Song of David**

" _I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can't feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _What a terrible feeling to love someone and not be able to help them."_

— **Jennifer Niven, All The Bright Places**

" _Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."_

― **Lao Tzu**

" _Trusting is hard. Knowing who to trust, even harder."_

— **Maria V. Snyder, Poison Study**

"Iwaizumi-san, I'm going to change," Kiku announced with a smile.

Several players turned around to glance curiously at their manager and Ace.

"Y-yeah, I'm coming soon too," he answered.

They all stared at the girl who walked out of the gymnasium while Iwaizumi, almost giddily, got the last balls into the cart and pushed it, almost running, to finish as soon as possible.

"…You have something planned with Kiku?" Makki asked him when he came back and checked that everything was done.

Oikawa glanced quickly at Hanamaki but Iwaizumi was too happy at what the rest of his afternoon would be like to notice their expressions.

"W-we're going to study for a Biology test." He answered with a smile.

"…Is that _it?_ Stop sparkling, it's just some boring studying…" Matsukawa sighed.

"Buut~" Oikawa piped up with a teasing smile, "It'll be _just_ the two of you in your bedroom and~ biology is one of your best subject – what better way to impress Kiku-chan with not just your muscles and volleyball skills but also your brain~?"

"N-not in my bedroom… we're going to her place…" He replied sheepishly.

"Good, I'll get to watch the show then," Makki teased.

"D-don't you dare!"

"Makki, this is so rude~!"

" _As if_ you're surprised."

Iwaizumi decided to leave as soon as possible – to not be teased any more and avoid any flush on his cheeks. He took a quick shower, even borrowed some of Oikawa's deodorant and cream for the hands to smell good and not have a rough touch (who knew what might happen?) then he hurried to find Kiku, waiting for him at the entrance. They walked in silence, but it wasn't awkward, it was just peaceful. They glanced at each other several times, when the other wasn't looking and their fingers even brushed. When she didn't pull away and even stepped a few centimeters closer to him so their hands could touch by _accident_ , Hajime's fingers were about to curl around hers to _actually_ hold hands… but unfortunately, they were arriving into Kiku's neighborhood.

She looked up but her smile wavered and her steps slowed down. He followed her gaze and they stared, a little stunned, at a police car in front of Akiyama's Bakery…

"… _No_ …" She breathed, eyes wide in sudden fear.

Kiku's stomach dropped and a cold feeling invaded her as her steps started taking her closer, without realizing it. She felt dizzy, her head spinning and Hajime followed her closely, a worried expression on his face. But his worry turned into surprise when, as they got closer, he recognized the police man leaning casually against the car.

"…Yamaha-san…?" He called hesitantly, not believing he was actually meeting his father's colleague _here_.

Hearing his name, the police man turned and smiled, surprised, to see the high-schooler there.

"Oh! Iwaizumi-kun!" He exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Uuh… I've come here to study with a classmate…" He answered, glancing at Kiku.

He blinked when he noticed her pale face, her body shaking in fear, lips trembling, even though there didn't seem to be a problem – or Yamaha-san wouldn't be so relaxed.

Yamaha snorted, raising a teasing eyebrow:

" _Studying?_ Yeah, that's what we all say…"

"I-it's true!" He exclaimed, but his sudden blush betrayed him.

Yamaha smiled knowingly. He looked up towards the entrance of the bakery and everyone's attention turned to it. Hajime should have seen it coming but it was still shocking when he saw his father walking out of the bakery – he hadn't expected to see him _anywhere_ near Kiku's house. Takashi seemed just as surprised to see his son, slowing down then he turned towards Kiku. They stared at each other for a short moment, something Hajime didn't quite understand passing on their faces. Kiku paled even more – he was worried she might pass out and just as quickly as she had looked at Takashi, she lowered her gaze.

Forcing himself to act natural, Takashi smiled to his son and his colleague:

"Hajime! What a surprise – I didn't expect you here, aren't you supposed to be at practice?"

"They're going to _study_ ," Yamaha answered, the tone of his voice _obviously_ suggesting _something else._

"I suppose you're Kiku-chan, then?" Takashi continued, stepping towards her and observing her reactions closely, "I'm Iwaizumi Takashi, Hajime's father."

She kept her head down, unable to meet his gaze. Her head was spinning, she felt like throwing up. Light flashed behind her eyes – a blinding white light, yellow and red blinking lights…

" _I'm a police officer, my name is Iwaizumi Takashi."_

" _ **I'm Iwaizumi Takashi, Hajime's father."**_

" _Tell Hajime I'm sorry, I won't be here after all…"_

" _ **I'm Iwaizumi Takashi, Hajime's father."**_

 _Hajime's father. Iwaizumi Takashi._ How could she _forget_ THIS name? How could she _not_ connect the dots before…?! She had spent the last three years crushing over the _son of_ …

When the silence got longer and longer, Hajime started worrying. He frowned, stepping towards Kiku and putting his hand on her shoulder, forcing his father to step away.

"Hey, you're okay?" He asked.

She flinched at his touch, to his great shock. She didn't answer but she finally reacted, glancing at him, without actually meeting his gaze then looking away, her hands curling and uncurling nervously.

Hajime understood that something had happened and that for whatever reason his father's presence here and Kiku's reaction were linked – they seemed to know each other. The other day his father had reacted to her full-name even if Hajime hadn't thought much of it, and now he was in front of her house in full police officer outfit? Hajime turned towards his father, sending a hard look, silently asking him what was going on – he wanted answers because he was at a loss.

His son didn't understand why he was here and Takashi had honestly didn't expect him to show up at the Akiyama Bakery. He smiled and lifted up a brown paper bag with written _'Akiyama Bakery'_ on it.

"I remember you saying that your girlfriend's family had a bakery and I wanted to taste," he explained with a smile.

Hajime didn't seem convinced and satisfied by this story but before he could say a thing, Takashi turned towards his younger colleague.

"Let's go, Yamaha," he said.

"See you around, Iwaizumi-kun!" Yamaha told the young boy before adding, "Good studying~!"

He winked at the teenager but he didn't have the heart to be embarrassed when so much mystery was around him. A moment later the two police officers had entered the car and were driving away, probably munching on the patisseries. Hajime sighed annoyingly, embarrassed by his father's presence but mostly worried about Kiku's reaction. What the hell had just happened?

"I-I'm sorry my father showed up out of nowhere, he probably thought it'd be fun to… Ki– uh, Akiyama? San?" He called when she didn't react.

She started walking straight towards the house, taking the path on the side of the house.

"W-wait…!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, walking after her.

He noticed her parents watching from the bakery's window bay, but their expressions were tense.

Kiku suddenly stopped and turned around, remembering that Hajime was here. But when she spoke up, her voice was tight and she avoided looking at him, her gaze was fixated on the ground.

"S-sorry… I-I'm not feeling w-well… could we… study another day…?" She asked in a little voice.

Not knowing what to do, or say, or even _think_ , Hajime blinked then nodded sheepishly.

"Y-yeah… sure…" He answered, more worried than he let show.

Kiku immediately hurried to the house, as if he didn't exist anymore. He stared at her leaving, glanced at her parents and noticed that her mother was gone – probably climbed up the stairs to her daughter. Then, he turned around his feet and dragged himself towards the nearest bus stop to go home. His heart was beating hollowly, every beat seemed to squeeze and hurt more – the worry he felt was so overwhelming he felt sick. He clenched his fists, frowning and suddenly feeling like the only person who didn't know what the hell was happening was _him_ and that… that no matter how Kiku felt, she didn't _trust_ him and… he had no way to help her… He only wanted to see her _smile_.

 _At the Iwaizumi's apartment…_

The moment the door opened and he heard his father's voice, Hajime stood up and hurried to the entrance. The moment he appeared, Takashi looked at him, knowing exactly what was coming.

"What happened?" Hajime asked.

"What do you mean by that? Did you study well with your–"

"You know _damn well_ what I mean by that! How do you know her?! What happened?!" He shouted, his voice immediately rising.

His mother arrived, glancing between the two in confusion because even if her son had been absentminded ever since he had come back from school, there was definitely something weird. Takashi sighed then shook his head:

"I was just passing at the bakery to get some patisserie, I told you. Don't–"

The Iwaizumi family usually was a pretty good family with no argument, there was no voice rising, no violence – they were all in peace with each other and cared for each other and their son was mature enough (always had been) to understand that calmness and peace was the best solution, no matter what. But for the first time in seventeen years, Hajime had risen his voice at his father – and both Takashi and Umeko were shocked when he suddenly grabbed his father and _shoved_ him against the wall.

"Stop taking me for a fool! You _know_ Kiku! Something happened to her and you're involved! Tell me what it is!" He ordered with a voice so raging, it became almost impossible to understand his words.

Umeko gasped, hands covering her mouth to see her son's sudden wild behavior. Takashi stared at him with his mouth hanging open, not quite believing that for the _first time_ , there was tension between his son and him – because of a _girl_.

 _Not any girl, though…_

Once the shock had passed, he grabbed Hajime's wrists and clenched until he could push him off him. He didn't like being rough with his son but at this moment, Hajime was too angry and blinded by worry to think clearly.

"Calm down, will you? If you think that yelling like a madman and getting violent will get you any answer, you're wrong!"

Hajime clenched his teeth but swallowed hard, realizing that he might have _hurt_ his father if he hadn't been a police officer used to some rough handling from delinquents. The tension was sparkling, Umeko glancing between her husband and son with tears in her eyes. But still, despite the shame he felt for acting like that, Hajime didn't look away and kept his gaze straight into her father's eyes – to make him understand he would _not_ give up and he wanted _answers_.

"Tell me _how_ you know Kiku… you went to the bakery with a purpose – _what_ was it?" He asked in a low, angry voice.

"Hajime! It's enough!" Umeko exclaimed even if she didn't understand what was going on.

Takashi stared in slight confusion at Hajime then shook lightly his head:

"She didn't tell you?" He asked in a low voice.

"Tell me what?"

Hajime's heart seemed to remind him at every beat that he didn't know the truth about Kiku, that there was _something_ he didn't know – and it hurt him _so much_ to know that she didn't trust him.

His father hesitated then swallowed and finally spoke up:

"It's not my story to tell. If you want answer, ask her directly. But… I doubt this is the right thing to do at the moment. Perhaps… you should forget about her – date another girl, I'm sure there are plenty of other girls who would love to be with you. Kiku isn't someone for you."

Too shocked by these words to find an immediate reply, Hajime let his father push him away and Takashi let go, taking off his shoes and jacket and finally entering the apartment. Umeko stared at her son, not quite understanding what they had meant but knowing that her son was terribly hurt…

Hajime felt like he had many things to tell his father – that he was in love with her anyway, that he wanted to be with _Kiku_ and no one else… but there was something he didn't know about Kiku that pushed his father to tell him that she wasn't _"someone for him"._ Kiku was shy and awkward and she was cute and kind… but she was also strong and determined and she always put others before herself… She didn't have a _quiet voice_. That was who she was, right? That was the Kiku he knew but… but suddenly Hajime felt like he didn't know her at all…

Instead of screaming, crying or punch the wall like he wanted, Hajime just turned around and left the apartment.

"H-Hajime!" Umeko called, trying to go after him but her husband held her back.

She stared at him, bewildered but she prayed Hajime would go to the only place where he might find some support and comfort…

Tooru was texting with Mari-chan on his phone, laying on his futon, when someone suddenly knocked at the door.

"Yeah, mom?"

"Hajime is here, can he come in?" She said, voice smothered through the door.

He was surprised – Iwa-chan rarely came to _his_ place, it usually was the other way around and he _definitely_ never came past 8pm. Right now, it was well past _10pm_. Even his mother's voice sounded worried. He sat up just as the door opened and Hajime entered, dragging his feet into his friend's bedroom.

"S-sorry to come in suddenly…" He muttered.

"What happened, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked, eyes wide when he noticed his friend's shaken look.

Hajime wanted to talk but he also knew that if he said anything to Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa, possibly the whole team might learn it – and he didn't want anyone learning about any of it. He _trusted_ them, but he was scared of what it'd mean for _Kiku and him_ , for their relationship, if the others learned of any of this. Whatever had happened.

He shook his head and Tooru understood that _right now,_ he wouldn't get any word out of his friend's mouth.

"Which Godzilla movie do you want to watch?" He asked, knowing that he needed a distraction.

They _did_ watch a movie or two – even if they had school the next day and shouldn't have stayed awake so late. But for the first time in his life, Tooru saw Iwa-chan _not_ enjoying a Godzilla movie. If anything, he barely acknowledged the movie… it was like he wasn't here at all…

 _The following day for morning practice…_

Oikawa still didn't know what had happened to Iwa-chan the previous night. Everyone could tell he was feeling down, everyone was glancing at their Ace then sending worried, questioning looks at Oikawa but he could only shrug and keep his lips thin.

"Oi, what's wrong with him?" Matsukawa asked when Iwaizumi left ahead, leaving the others thunderstruck by his undecipherable expression – a mix of worry, sadness and anger.

"I don't know, he just showed up last night like that… I think something happened with Kiku-chan but… Makki, do you know anything?"

"No, nothing. When I came back yesterday I tried to look by the window to see how these two were doing but the curtains were closed…" He answered before he frowned, "And… this morning it was the same, which is weird because Kiku always gets up early…"

Oikawa and him shared a look, Matsukawa glancing between the two in confusion.

"Okay, you two have been hiding something – what is it?" He asked impatiently.

They hesitated before finally telling him what they had found in Kiku's bag two days ago – but making sure that no one else might heard. Mattsun stared back at them with wide eyes, almost as if he didn't believe them but their serious expression were enough to prove they weren't lying…

"Practice is about to start!" Yahaba called from the door.

The third-years joined the others, but just before the team started warming up, Irihata called Oikawa. He ran to the coach, a dark look on his face.

"Kiku won't come today, she's sick. You'll have to take notes on papers so she could join it later in her notebook."

Oikawa immediately glanced at Iwaizumi who had finally reacted upon hearing that Kiku was sick. But his expression was only more worry, his body tense. The Captain nodded to the coach, not quite knowing what to do or say to comfort his friend.

Practice went as usual, even if a little dark without their manager and for the first time, Iwaizumi seemed out of it. He almost received a ball in the face because he wasn't paying attention – which was the main reason why Irihata decided to call it over before the usual time – he reminded them there would be no practice the afternoon because the school staff had to check the gymnasiums and the material.

After their showers, they got dressed, an unusual heavy silence hanging in the changing-room. Until Makki slammed close his locker and turned towards Iwaizumi:

"Okay! _What_ happened yesterday?! You look like Kiku's dead, no one knows what the fuck happened! You studied with her, didn't you? What happened? What did you do that she'd disappear from the surface of the Earth? You raped her or something?"

He added a bitter chuckle to what he had hoped would be understood as a joke – unfortunately, the atmosphere was too dark for that and his bad-timed humor only made things worse. Everyone held their breaths when Iwaizumi's lips fell open and his eyes widened, not believing his _friend_ had _dared_ to say such a thing…

Hanamaki swallowed hard, immediately regretting his words and feeling his lifespan shorten suddenly…

"… _What_ did you say…?" Iwaizumi started in a low, threatening voice.

"T-that was just a joke… no need to–"

"You _think_ it's a fucking _joke?!"_ He shouted, suddenly stepping towards him with his fist raised.

Hanamaki stepped away and at once, Matsukawa and Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi before he could actually _hit_ their friend. Yahaba stepped forward if they needed help to hold him back while the first-years all cowered in fear, ready to go get Mizoguchi if things turned bad.

"Iwaizumi, what the fuck?!" Mattsun exclaimed, pushing him away.

" _Iwaizumi_ , calm down!" Oikawa added, for once calling him by his full name.

Even two of them couldn't hold him back completely but thankfully, Iwaizumi seemed to hear the voice of reason – perhaps it was _Oikawa_ calling him _Iwaizumi_. He glared at Hanamaki before grabbing his bag and pushing away his friends from their hold on him.

"You really are an asshole!" He hissed when he walked past Hanamaki.

Kunimi pulled Kindaichi away from the Ace's path as he walked out of the changing-room, slamming the door. Everyone stared at the door in silence. A box suddenly fell off the top of the lockers, making Watari jump out of his skin.

Oikawa and Matsukawa threw a hard look at Hanamaki who, a little pale, raised his hands.

"I-I know! I shouldn't have said that!" He exclaimed, trembling a little.

"You'd better apologize, and as soon as possible… He's got enough to deal with, whatever it is, without his teammates acting like assholes to him…" Mattsun scolded, shaking his head gravely.

Hanamaki swallowed hard and lowered his head in shame. At lunch, he tried to talk to Iwaizumi but he stubbornly ignored him and barely acknowledged the others either – they _knew_ it was mostly because he was hurt but they were at a loss at what they should do… They had never fought – arguments, bickering, little fights over petty things… It was almost _normal_ for them, but a fight that lasted more than two hours, and _worse_ : that their _Ace_ , who was the _mature_ one of the group, didn't want to talk to them… It was new.

After school, because there was no practice, Iwaizumi didn't wait for Oikawa or anyone and went straight into Kiku's neighborhood. He glanced at her window but he couldn't see anyone or anything. He sighed and entered the bakery, Nanami surprised to see him before smiling politely.

"Hajime-chan…"

"I, uh… I was wondering if I could see Kiku…" He started awkwardly.

"Oh, she's sick and she went to the doctor. But I could leave her a message for you?" She proposed.

Hajime observed her closely before he pulled his bag towards himself, taking out a few notebooks.

"Then, I'll leave you today's notes…" He mumbled.

"Thank you so much," Nanami answered.

One of his notebook slipped from his fingers and fell on the floor, several papers spreading around. He quickly leaned down to gather it all and Nanami let him put some order about the notes and papers on a table of the bakery – he glanced over his shoulder and once sure she was distracted he discreetly tore a piece of paper from one random blank page then wrote something on it. He left it in the top notebook as he brought it all to Nanami.

"She's… she's all right? Isn't she?" He asked worriedly.

Nanami stared at him, a little surprised because she could tell he had his doubts that something had happened with Kiku… then, she smiled softly.

"Don't worry, by Monday, she'll be back at school."

Hajime wasn't sure if it was reassuring or frustrating to wait two more days before seeing her. Before learning the truth… _if_ Kiku was willing to talk to him.

When he walked out of the bakery and back on his steps, he crossed paths with Hanamaki who was going home as well. They stared at each other a little awkwardly then Iwaizumi continued his way. Before he could leave though, Hanamaki turned around and put his hand on his shoulder to stop him:

"I-I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said that this morning it was… I know you're not the type of guy who would do that and… and I _really_ am an asshole… It's just… I-I'm _worried_ , y'know and when I'm worried I just say stupid things I don't think…"

Iwaizumi glanced at him then sighed, unable to hold a grudge against him… not when he had been just as much of an asshole – to his father, to Oikawa by remaining silent, to the team and mostly Hanamaki this morning…

"I'm worried about Kiku too …" He admitted with a little nod.

"Not just Kiku, you too…"

Iwaizumi seemed surprised and Hanamaki continued, lips thin:

"You've been acting weird and you keep silence… I get that you're tormented by something, and you don't know much more than us about what's happening to Kiku but… we're _here_ … The _whole team_ , we're here for you – _and_ for Kiku, so…"

He glanced around awkwardly – he wasn't one for emotional speeches. Or long apologizes. But it seemed to be enough. Iwaizumi smiled, a _little_ smile but it was still a smile, and he put his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Thanks… and… could you…?"

He nodded towards Kiku's window, silently asking him to keep an eye on her.

"Sure," Hanamaki answered with a tight smile.

"Thanks…"

"She's my manager too, y'know. Even if… she'll always be _your_ girl…"

Iwaizumi seemed a little surprised, he hesitated before nodding and leaving, hoping his parents wouldn't kill him for running away last night – even if they knew where he had gone and that he had run away three meters away from home.

 _Some time later, Akiyama house…_

" _I'm a police officer, my name is Iwaizumi Takashi."_

Kiku stared at the cinema ticket she had kept from the one time Hajime had saved her from bullies and taken her in town to relax. The edges of the ticket were starting to be damaged, and the ink was slowly erasing from the all times she had held the ticket. Her covers above her head gave a pinkish color to everything – her skin, the ticket, even her nails…

Someone knocked at her door but she didn't react, too numb and sleepy to acknowledge it. The door opened and someone sat on the edge of her bed.

"Kiku… I came as soon as I could… what happened?"

Yuuna's voice was tight with worry, probably tears in her eyes. Kiku didn't want to worry her but she couldn't feel the strength to push away the covers, or sit up. Her eyes just filled with tears and she suddenly felt feverish from all the tears she's cried.

Yuuna touched her shoulder through the covers then slowly pulled at it, waiting to see how Kiku was reacting to take it off completely. When she didn't freak out or cry out, she took it away completely. Her heart shattered when she saw Kiku laying there, red eyes and trembling lips, staring at the cinema ticket in her fingers. Worse, her blue eyes, usually so vivid, sparkling in joy and filled with life… they were… they were _empty_. It wasn't even sad or regretful – just empty. Nothing to feel anymore, nothing to be sad about, nothing to regret.

Without a word, the young girl leaned towards her friend, wrapping her in a comfortable hug – she hoped she could give her comfort, if she couldn't give her her love. Kiku didn't show any emotion or any reaction, she just laid there until Yuuna sat up.

"What happened? Your mother told me that Iwaizumi's father had come to talk to them and that you had seen him – why would he come _here?_ What is he? Some stalker who wants to protect his son?"

Kiku's lips trembled. For a long moment there was only silence except for her raspy breathing. Even Birb, Pip and Kyuu had been taken out of her bedroom – without the pets, the room seemed even lonelier…

Slowly, Kiku forced herself to sit up then fell against the wall, without ever meeting Yuuna's gaze. It wasn't the first time Yuuna was seeing Kiku so _broken_ , but it hurt so much she almost cried. And it was because of _Iwaizumi_ – she _knew_ he would only hurt her! She _knew_ she shouldn't have let him around Kiku!

"His father…" She started in a low, trembling voice, "Is a police officer…" She breathed.

"And?"

"…He was _there_ that night, he was the one… he… he recognized me when we met yesterday…" She breathed, starting to hyperventilate.

Yuuna wrapped her arms around Kiku's shoulders, brushing her hand up and down her arms to reassure her. It took some time but it worked. Kiku's eyes were filled with tears and one rolled over her eyelid and fell on the cinema ticket still resting between her fingers. But her shoulders, her entire figure was down, like a broken doll. Someone who had cried too much to hold herself together any longer – not just this time but times and times again, over and over again… Kiku was lifeless, as if all hope and joy had been swiped away from her soul… Yuuna hated seeing her like that, even though she knew it was the _real Kiku._

"Seeing him must have reminded you of that night, that's why you had a break down… Did you see Fujimoto-san? You took your medicine, right?"

Kiku nodded but she seemed to be absent from the conversation.

"I saw him in the afternoon… a-and with the Inter-High… I had forgotten to take it… I t-thought, I-it'd be _fine_ … I-if he hadn't been here…"

Yuuna pursed her lips together. If she hadn't taken her medicine recently because of the Inter-High, it explained why she had reacted so terribly. But she cursed all the Iwaizumi to cause so much hurt to her Kiku!

She wanted to comfort her but she couldn't find any word to say – she was too worried for her and angry at Iwaizumi (all of them!) to think clearly. But before she could say a word, Kiku spoke up in a shaky, broken voice.

"H-he looks so much like his father… W-whenever I think… of Hajime… I have flashes of that night… If I think of his father back then, I see Hajime… I-I _can't_ …"

More tears rolled down, her gaze fixated at nothing in particular but filled with panic and terror. Yuuna couldn't quite understand how she felt but now, in Kiku's mind, Hajime – because of his resemblance with his father – would be associated with her worst memories. Even if she had fallen in love with him – love couldn't survive hurt and terror.

"Kiku…" Yuuna started sadly, not knowing what to do because if a part of her was glad her story with Hajime was over before it could start… she hated even more seeing her so broken.

Kiku looked over at her desk, a pile of notebooks there. She lifted up her arm, reaching out for it but Yuuna leaned over and took it, giving it to Kiku. She only had time to see "Iwaizumi Hajime" written on top of it – probably his notes about the classes she had missed. Kiku opened it then took out a little paper, handing it to Yuuna. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open, her heart missing a beat – out of fear because she could guess how much hope it must have given Kiku…

 _Do you trust me?_

It took a moment for Yuuna to gather her thoughts but before she could say anything, Kiku spoke up:

"I-I _hurt_ him… h-he thinks… I don't… trust him and I've acted like… I was _so_ … he didn't understand and…"

"But… you don't."

Kiku glanced up at Yuuna, finally reacting a little as her friend put the paper from Hajime down on top of the notebook.

"You don't trust him, or you would have told him the truth. You didn't, you never did – your parents know because they're… well… your _parents_. But the only person you've ever trusted is me – not Hajime, not _anyone_ but _me_. If you can't trust him, what do you expect would happen?"

It was the only thing Yuuna knew she had and Hajime didn't. She knew Kiku better than anyone, she knew her story, she knew her fears, her secrets and her past.

"Not only from now on Iwaizumi will remind you of all your bad memories, but you never opened up to him. Maybe… he's not the right one for you…" She said in a low voice, trying to smother the light of hope in her heart.

Kiku lowered her head, lips trembling, Yuuna's words sinking in. Her heart broke and more tears filled her eyes. Some time ago, Makki had asked her what she would say if Iwaizumi asked her out – and she had answered she'd say no because she _"had remained silent too long"._ Even back then she _knew_ it was just an _illusion_. Iwaizumi Hajime wouldn't fall in love with someone like _her_ , he deserved _better_ , she was just fooling herself. She didn't have any chance back then, she certainly didn't have any now. And after everything she had _hidden_ from him, after everything she had _caused_ , Iwaizumi would react like _everyone else_ … he'd leave her. In the end, everyone leaves.

"I-I'm fine… just being friend…" She said even if her heart hurt so much she could barely breath, her fingers trembling and tightening around the cinema ticket, "T-that's all I ever wanted… a _friend_ …" She whispered.

Yuuna moved away, watching her with big eyes, not believing the words she had just _said_. But Kiku didn't notice her shock, too heart-broken to realize she had unknowingly hurt Yuuna as well.

"G-good… good then…" Yuuna uttered, not sure how to feel at the moment.

A few minutes later, without realizing when, Kiku glanced up at the door, Yuuna gone. Some minutes after, her mother entered. Nanami sighed in relief, glad to see Kiku sitting up and not hiding under her covers – her safety place. Without a word, she went to sit next to her daughter and surrounded her shoulders with her arm.

"…I'm sorry this man came and made you feel… reminded you of all that."

"…I thought I was feeling _better_ … that I didn't _need_ … that I was over it… b-but it'll never leave me… right…?" Kiku whispered darkly.

"Fujimoto-san always told you so, didn't he? You have to learn to live with it, not fight it. I know it's hard but… it's a weight we _all_ have to carry. You're not _alone_ , Kiku… we're _here_ – your _family_ , and your friends and team they're here too…"

"They'll never… they don't know the truth and now, it's too late… they'll never accept it… it's too scary to tell them a-and Ha… Hajime would leave me…"

Nanami was about to say something when she noticed a torn piece of paper with written _"Do you trust me?"._

 _The sneaky boy, that's why he dropped his notebook_ … She realized with a heavy heart.

"He's really worried about you… He really likes you…"

"But he doesn't know the truth. He thinks he knows me but… but when he'll realize it's not the case, he'll hate me…" Kiku said, her voice shaky.

Nanami held her closer towards her, wanting to protect her but knowing that she'll have to face Hajime and her fears at some point – not just for Kiku herself, but because the boy was too stubborn to give up on answers _and_ Kiku. He'll get the answers and… she could only pray he wouldn't leave her.

"No, he _won't_ … because he's _in love_ with you, Kiku… He would never leave you…"

Kiku shook lightly her head, obviously not believing it. Nanami pursed her lips before speaking up again, sounding almost angry – not at Kiku, or anyone in particular, but just the world for breaking Kiku's trust in _everyone_.

"You like him, right? If Hajime were to admit to you something he did, or _happened_ to him – something _terrible_ that would change how you see him… would it change your feelings for him? Or would you accept all of him, as he is?" Nanami asked softly.

Kiku's eyes shone – from unshed tears and _slowly_ … slowly _understanding_ , and _hope_ … Nanami almost sobbed to see the tiny, fragile flicker of hope in her eyes – the most important feeling in the universe. The _one_ thing that allowed to go on, no matter what.

"N-no, it… it _wouldn't_ …" She breathed, lowering her head and seeing, once again, under a different light – _with hope_ – the paper asking if she trusted him.

The question almost seemed like an offended request _"Why don't you trust me?"_ – especially with his slightly rough and hurried handwriting. But Kiku knew Hajime enough to know that his question held hurt, not offense. _"Why don't you trust me…? Open_ _up_ _to me, tell me what hurt you, I want to be here for you…"_ – if only she gave him a chance. _If only_ … if only she _trusted_ him…

Nanami pulled some hair away from her face, behind her ear then kissed her forehead. She took her daughter's abandoned phone on the night table and handed it to her, putting it in her hands then keeping a hold around Kiku's cold, trembling hands in hers. Warm and comforting – a mother's hands.

"When you'll be ready… send him a message…" She told Kiku before leaving her.

It took a long time for Kiku to have the courage to turn on her phone – she spent most of the night staring at it, glancing at the little paper… Then, the light, almost blinding, kept her awake as she read the messages she had received. She was _stunned_. She had received _so many_ messages – from _everyone_ , not just Hajime. Everyone on the team had sent her messages of worry after not seeing her at practice, they had all sent her recovery texts when they heard from Irihata that she was sick… The third-years had sent her even more messages, asking her what had happened, why she didn't come and wasn't answering – even Shi-chan had asked her how she was doing… She kept Hajime's messages for last. It took her a while to read them all – he had started with the casual, normal texts. He had worried, he had asked her several times the previous evening how she was, why she had reacted this way when meeting his father… He had apologized for what had happened even though he didn't understand any of it. He sent her a goodnight message. Then, the morning he had sent her lots of messages about how worried he was, more apologizes, then telling her he'd come visit her and bring her notes… He had spent more time texting her than taking notes considering the amount of messages and the time at which he had sent them. But ever since he had come to the bakery and left his notes, and the paper… he hadn't sent anything.

 _Do you trust me?_

It was his last message.

Kiku glanced over at the sun slowly rising, coloring the sky and surroundings with pale, sad colors… She glanced back at the phone, exhaustion taking over her but she had the strength to type her answer.

 **Yes, I do.**

When she fell asleep, she held onto her phone and Hajime's message, but she didn't have to hide under the covers and the colors of the sky were more colorful and happier than she had initially thought.

 _Iwaizumi's apartment…_

Hajime was woken up by a sudden, loud, buzzing sound. He startled, sleepy but then the light of his phone reminded him that he had fallen asleep with the device in his hand. He blinked at it, already cursing Oikawa for waking him up so early a Saturday morning to go run when…

He stared at the message he had received. _From Kiku._

 **Yes, I do.**

Even if it had nothing to do with his last text, even if it seemed like it had come out of nowhere – he _knew_ what answer this was. And _he_ needed _more_ answers.

He suddenly got up, hurrying to put on the first clothes he'd find before almost running out of the apartment.

"Hey, calm down there, where are you going like that?" His father asked as he was getting ready to get out as well.

Hajime was tempted to lie – but he had never lied to his parents and he couldn't find anything to say that his father wouldn't understand right away to be a lie.

"…If you keep secrets from _me_ I don't see why I shouldn't keep some from _you_ …" He grumbled as answer.

Takashi stared at him as he put on his shoes and hurriedly got out of the apartment. They still hadn't talked about what had happened but Hajime was too shaken up with everything going on with Kiku to even _think_ about sitting down with his parents and _talking_.

Too restless to wait for the bus or train, even if it took longer, Hajime decided to walk to the Akiyama Bakery – and it gave him time to put some order in his thoughts. But by the time he had arrived, despite all the calmness he had gathered… it slipped away from him when he faced the bakery…

He stood there, like an idiot, for a while, not knowing what to do, what he should say the moment he'd see Kiku… He had so many questions but his mind was suddenly blank.

How did he face the woman he liked for the truth?

"Iwaizumi… san…"

He looked up and his heart missed a beat. He swallowed hard when he saw Kiku standing there, looking a little stunned but… but she looked so… so _unlike_ her usual self. She looked tired, her eyes were still puffy from tears, she was a little pale. She was keeping some cover around her shoulders – she had obviously not expected anyone, and especially not _Hajime_ , to catch sight of her…

…She was so quiet.

He hesitated, not knowing what to do or say, Kiku just as awkward and confused – it had been unexpected, she didn't know… she had no idea what to do or say.

How did she face the man she liked with the truth?

"Do… do you want… to come in…?" She asked in a low, hesitant voice.

He nodded and followed her as she started to go back into the house, climbing the stairs slowly, quietly, as if each step was adding more and more fear onto her heart… Hajime glanced at her, feeling sad because he knew that he would get answers – but he was suddenly scared of what it meant. What truth would she reveal to him? What had happened to her?

"I'll… hold on a moment…" She said when they arrived in the living-room.

She went into the another part of the apartment, doing something he didn't know. Hajime glanced around, a little nervously and instinctively got closer to the furniture he could see first – the table with lots of little objects and pictures. There were mostly family pictures and he couldn't help but lean forward to observe closer, seeing a younger Kiku. Her hair had been longer, all curly and pretty… then his little smile wavered when he saw her parents, a little younger and standing proudly next to another child. A young girl who had the same brown eyes as Nanami, the same brown hair – she was smiling, full of life. She was around the same age as Kiku, perhaps a little younger… He had no idea Kiku had a sister. He glanced around at every picture but…

"You can come…" Kiku said, suddenly reappearing.

He stood up abruptly and she either didn't notice he had stared at the pictures, or she didn't care. He followed her and because the silence was so heavy, he couldn't help but speak up hesitantly.

"I… didn't know you had a sister…" He remarked.

Kiku's steps slowed down until she stopped, just a meter ahead of him but she seemed so far away.

"…She's not." She answered in a shaky voice.

He blinked, he was sure the girl had been Nanami and Shouta's daughter from how close they all seemed to be – there were even baby pictures… He had glanced around at every picture but… there wasn't any with _both_ Kiku and this girl together…

Hajime stopped breathing, his lips falling open as Kiku turned slightly her head to him, but didn't dare face him, eyes cast to the floor.

"…I'm adopted…"

* * *

 _So lots of things happened, a little bit is revealed and the whol story will be explained in next chapter. ;)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER: THE BURDEN OF LIFE_

 _Don't hesitate to tell me what you thought! ;)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	32. The Burden of Life

_The whole story might be revealed now._

 _Thank you to all who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **WARNING** : This chapter contains mentions and moments about adoption; abuse, neglect and violence against children as well as ptsd and psychological follow-up._

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll enjoy this chapter then! :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Sono tantissimo felice che hai piaciuto quesot capitolo e spero che il prossimo erà la misma cosa. Scoprirai tutta la storia di Kiku in questo capitolo, spero che è cosi intenso che il precedente! ;) Perché Takashi la conosca sarà anche rivelata. Sono d'accordo con tu, Takashi fa che pensa è il miglio per il suo figlio e... non ha torto, ha paura che Hajime soffrire e più tardo, non erà facile per Hajime or Kiku, o la loro relazione. Hajime è "in shock" e non sa come pensare di questa revelazione. Mi piace scrivere sull'amizia tra Iwaizumi e Oikawa, penso che è la più profonda di Haikyuu. La tua citazione è perfetta per i due. ;D Mi sento colpevole per Yuuna perchè il suo amore per Kiku è moltissimo puro e profondo ma... no puo avere Kiku all' fine perchè è inammorata con Hajime. Penso che Yuuna e Nanami hanno molti differenti punti di vista ma i due sono... come dire? "Legitimate" e i due consideranno i sentimenti di Kiku. Ma alla fine, il semplice fatto che Kiku puo capicere la vera questione di Hajime con il suo messagio "Do you trust me?" É che determina la decisione di Kiku di dire a Hajime la verità. Spero che ti piacerai questo capitolo e la storia di Kiku! :)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I know I houldn't but I was so happy you were so moved by the previous chapter's rveelation! XD_

 _ **TheLadyMuse** : You totally focused on Tendou instead of the secret revealed so I have no idea what you think of it but I agree with you - Tendou and Semi are precious beings and must be protected, like the rest of Shiratorizawa, heck, like all of Haikyuu's characters! x)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : It's the secret she was keeping, but her story is yet to come! ;)_

 _ **Krisia** : Wait for this chapter, then! ;) You ARE going to learn the whole story in this chapter ,don't worry! :)_

 _ **mikohoshina** : You'll know her story in this chapter :)_

 _ **Angelgirl236** : Like for ANimeViolinist I enjoyed way too much your screams~_

 _ **deadlywhisper21** : That's the whole point of a cliffhanger - cutitng at the best part! ;) _

_**Cooliceprincess** : Last chapter was intense and I hope this one is as well! :)_

 _ **Aquafin** : I'm not sure KIku and Hajime are having "fun" right now, but yeah, it's pretty fun to see the readers' reactions! XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXXII : The Burden of Life

" _You're the only one I trust enough to see inside my soul."_

— **William Chapman**

" _We all have a story to tell. We just don't know where to begin."_

— **Unknown**

" _If I speak, I am condemned. If I stay silent, I am damned!"_

— **Victor Hugo, Les Misérables**

" _It's when you hide things that you choke on them."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt."_

— **Tom Gates**

" _You, of all people, deserve a happy ending. Despite everything that happened to you, you aren't bitter. You aren't cold. You've just retreated a little and been shy, and that's okay."_

— **Sylvain Reynard, Gabriel's Inferno**

" _Life would be so much easier if sad people weren't considered to be a burden."_

— **Unknown**

" _Sometimes we have to soak ourselves in the tears and fears of the past to water our future gardens."_

― **Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem**

" _Your sadness speaks to me and it doesn't feel right. This world shouldn't be allowed to be so harsh to someone so soft."_

— **Kriti. G**

" _Stop apologizing and censoring yourself, you have every right to feel the way you do. Your feelings, your struggles, your emotions are all valid."_

— **Jasmine Sandozz**

" _The best therapists do not merely heal damage; they help people identify and build their strengths and their virtues."_

— **Martin Seligman**

" _The pain is deep but the scars don't show. The sadness is real but laughter flows. The heart is cut deep but no body knows."_

— **Unknown**

" _Anyone who ever wondered how much they could love a child who did not spring from their own loins, know this: it is the same. The feeling of love is so profound, it's incredible and surprising."_

― **Nia Vardalos, Instant Mom**

" _What makes a family is neither the absence of tragedy nor the ability to hide from misfortune, but the courage to overcome it and, from that broken past, write a new beginning."_

― **Steve Pemberton, A Chance in the World: An Orphan Boy, a Mysterious Past, and How He Found a Place Called Home**

Hajime glanced around the room, so empty, so quiet, so _lifeless_. Kiku was keeping her back turned to him, unable to meet his gaze. He blinked in surprise when he saw the space with her pets' cages empty – no bird, no hedgehog.

"Where… where are your pets?" He asked, trying to make a conversation but his voice was too tight for it to sound natural.

"My moth… _Nanami-san_ … is taking care of them for me… for the moment…" She answered, lowering her head, as if ashamed she had to ask someone else to take care of _her_ pets because she wasn't feeling well enough for that.

He stared back at her and swallowed hard. His hands were in his pockets but he was sweating nervously, maybe he was trembling a little too.

"… _I'm adopted…"_

It didn't sound real, it seemed like a cruel joke but he just had to glance at Kiku – the way she kept her shoulders down, how she avoided looking at him in shame for keeping this secret for so long… to know that it was the truth. Worse, now it seemed that all the evidences had been _obvious_ : several times she or Irihata had acted almost like strangers, as if they felt forced to be bonded as uncle and niece; now that he thought on it she didn't look at all like Shouta or Nanami… All these pictures he had seen – none of Kiku when she was a child or a baby, this other girl who looked so much like Nanami – _who was she?_

He knew a part of the truth – Kiku was adopted. She was not the biological daughter of Shouta and Nanami. But it was just the tip of the iceberg and now that he had been hit by it, he feared what it hid.

"…What happened?" He asked in a hushed voice, wanting to know the whole story even if it'd hurt – Kiku, _and_ him…

Kiku remained silent for a moment then moved a little anxiously. She started to turn around to face him – but her gaze remained cast on the floor as she fumbled with her fingers or the hem of her cover around her shoulders.

"I was abandoned by my biological parents at birth, there is no record of them or even my birth in any hospital. I was found in a dumpster by a group of middle-schoolers, half-dead already."

Hajime tightened his jaw, trying not to let any emotion show on his face but he felt sick. His throat was tight, his heart seemed to be about to escape his mouth.

"I was saved then put into the adoption system. My first memory is… of letting go of someone's hand to take another's. I-I don't remember these people's faces but… I remember not understanding why I had to go into another family and why I wasn't wanted anymore… I went into six different houses until I was five years old…"

She took a shaky breathe in and straightened her back, as if to give herself some courage to continue the story – but almost instantly, she quivered in fear as the memories flooded back. Tears filled her eyes but she bravely kept them from rolling down as she explained:

"Then… I was adopted by another family – parents, and an older son… I remained there for over six years but…"

She blinked and instinctively, her hand went to her shoulder, lightly scratching the skin there. Hajime suddenly realized that this was where he had seen a scar – the top of her shoulder, the side of her neck… And what the cheerleading team had seen – that she was covered in scars. He swallowed hard once again, a bad feeling of what had happened to her nagging at the back of his mind…

"The father's name was… Himura Souma, his wife Riko and their son Ryouichi."

A tear rolled down her cheek that she quickly wiped away before continuing her tale, forgetting that Hajime was here, that she was telling him the story – she got lost in her own memories…

 _Kiku watched by the window as the car suddenly stopped and her new family helped her get down and enter the house. It was big and nice, it was clean but suddenly Riko's hand let go of her tiny hand as Souma knelt in front of Kiku, a big smile on his face:_

" _Kiku, you're a big girl, you understand what adoption is now, right?" He asked her with the condescending voice of adults towards young children._

 _It was why she always changed of family and houses – because unlike other children, she didn't have parents of her own. So people had to take her in – it was adoption._

 _Too shy to answer, she nodded slightly and his smile got bigger:_

" _Then you understand we're not your real parents and we only took you in for charity, right?"_

 _She nodded again._

" _Then, you won't have to call us like you called your other families – from now on, I'll be Souma-oji-san, and Riko will be your oba-san. You can call Ryouichi oni-san, though."_

 _Kiku seemed a little confused – it was different from what was asked of her usually… but she nodded nevertheless, not wanting this family to dislike her and send her away again._

" _Good girl." He said, patting her head, "I'll take you to your new bedroom, then."_

 _He guided her to the first floor, they walked past two big rooms – Souma and Riko's bedroom, Ryouichi's… then he opened a little door and she arrived in a small room – but she was so petite that she didn't notice how little it really was. There was a futon, a little desk and a little drawer._

" _You stay in here, you have papers and pencils to draw if you want." He said, turning around to leave._

" _Souma oji-san…" She called shyly, looking up until her neck hurt from how tall he was._

" _Mmm?"_

" _Why I don't have parents like every other children?"_

 _She always asked the same question to every family she entered or the kind ladies she met. They always answered something different – Kiku was too young to truly grasp the concept of "truth" but she could recognize "lies" when it was so obvious._

 _Souma smiled – but it wasn't a gentle or pitying smile like usual. Kiku startled, suddenly wanting to hide. This smile was scary…_

" _Because they didn't want of you." He answered sharply._

 _Kiku understood the concept of "truth". And it hurt._

 _Souma left the room, leaving her all alone._

 _Being part of the family, Kiku was expected to help out with the easy chores like putting the_ _plates and cutlery on the table_ _and helping out with the dishes or washing the clothes. Riko started to teach her how to clean even if it was hard – even for a five-years old she was smaller than most. She was a little late in learning because she had moved around a lot, but thanks to Riko and Ryouichi, she learned everything she needed to know: the hiragana, the katakana and even how to count – she could count up to one hundred, which most children of her new class couldn't do. She was very proud and she was helpful, always trying her best to be accepted. Even if she was "family", she didn't feel like she was accepted by them. They only gave her the minimum required for Kiku to live – food, bath, helping out with the homework… For Kiku, it was normal to not be taken care of – they weren't her real parents, they were just Souma-oji-san, Riko-oba-san and Ryouichi-nii-san. They weren't her real parents because her real parents didn't want of her._

 _Several times, the kind ladies came to visit in the house and Kiku always put on the prettiest clothes and Riko-oba-san always made her repeat everything she should say to the kind ladies. Yes, she was treated well. Yes, she loved it here. Yes, mommy and daddy and onii-san were kind and taking good care of her. The ladies always left with a smile. At school too, her teachers and the nurse would often talk to her about her house but she repeated what Riko-oba-san had taught her to say. They always smiled, glad the abandoned little girl had finally found a house and family who loved her. They only worried because she was shy and couldn't make friends – but it was normal with what she had gone through, she would get out of her shell over time… When she wasn't needed for chores or to repeat the same mantra about how happy she was, Kiku had to remain in her bedroom._

 _The weeks turned into months, then into over a year… and Kiku started to feel like she had found a house and family that wouldn't send her away. Even if times after times her "parents" had not wanted of her… now she had Souma-oji-san, and Riko-oba-san and Ryouichi-nii-san… She couldn't be selfish and ask for more._

 _SHCLAK!_

 _Riko ran into the kitchen and found Kiku on the floor, the jaw of cookies broken. She looked up with tears filling her eyes, starting to stammer apologies._

" _I-I'm s-sorry! I-I w-was h-hungry…!"_

" _What were you thinking?! We told you times and times again not to come in here! You're supposed to be in your room! Get out!"_

 _Kiku was crying when she ran upstairs and in her room, under her covers. That night, as punishment, she didn't get to have dinner. Riko-oba-san made her promise to never share this accident with anyone at school or any of the ladies who came to visit to see how Kiku was doing. She never talked about it_ _to_ _anyone for years._

 _Someday, around a year and a half after she had started living with the Himura family, Kiku was woken up in the night by breaking sounds and shouting downstairs. She was supposed to stay in her bedroom, but she was curious. She opened the bedroom door and quietly went all the way to the stairs, the voices clearer – it was Souma-oji-san screaming and Riko-oba-san was crying too…Kiku leaned forward, watching from the top of the stairs the silhouettes moving quickly, the shadows cast on the wall near her. Suddenly, Souma appeared and noticed her – he seemed to be crazy and his gaze was dark and threatening. Kiku gasped and quickly ran back into her room, under her covers, praying he wouldn't come in here. He didn't. Not this time._

 _Some weeks later, it happened again – the shouting, the fighting… Kiku didn't want to get out of her bedroom, she didn't want to face them again but… she needed to go to the toilets. When she couldn't hold it back anymore, she escaped her room, quiet as a mouse, her heart beating so fast against her chest it hurt. She went to the toilets then started to go back to her room, thinking she would make it safely…_

" _What are you doing here?! Out of your room?!"_

 _She jumped and turned around, seeing Souma-oji-san. He suddenly walked to her so quickly she didn't have time to turn around or run. His arm rose and he hit her so hard she fell against the nearest wall._

" _Stop crying! Can't you obey orders, damn it?! You stay IN your room and don't bother us!" He shouted, grabbing her by the hair._

 _She cried and screamed and whined but suddenly, she was thrown into the room and it was only under the safety of her covers that she continued crying as he slammed the door. She jumped and hit her face in her pillow, trying not to make any sound._

 _After that, everytime Souma was angry, he would take it on Kiku – she had become the best way to express his fury. Often, he smelled weird – Kiku later found out it was the smell of some sort of strong alcohol. He'd scream at her even if she hadn't done anything wrong, he'd be violent and make her cry and scream, he'd hit her. She always screamed for help – to Riko-oba-san or Ryouichi-nii-san but they never moved, they just watched and remained quiet._

" _You have only what you deserve! Nobody wants you, you should have died as a baby! But we took you in when no one else wants of you! Be_ _ **grateful**_ _to have a house and food!" He'd always shout._

 _Kiku tried her best to be as good as they wanted her to be, she always made her chores_ _ **and**_ _Ryouichi-nii's, she always brought back good grades and said exactly what Rik_ _o_ _-oba-san asked her to say. She was a good girl, she was doing her best but Souma-oji-san always found something wrong in Kiku – her very_ _ **existence**_ _in their house. So he'd keep beating her up everytime he'd get drunk. He always made sure no one could see – it'd be her ribs, her legs, her arms… Never the face. They made sure Kiku would look as clean and well-cared for as possible._

 _From once in a while, it became a ritual – every month, then every week, then every two or three days… It started with the hand, then the belt… then the whip. At this point, Kiku knew how to take care of the burning, stinging injuries across her back – some had turned into scars, some were pink from fresh skin, some were still bleeding… She knew that if she didn't take care of it well, it'd be noticed by the family and more terrible:_ _ **outsiders**_ _and then… she'd receive more._

 _For over six years and a half, Kiku lived with the Himura, receiving the constant psychological and physical violence that broke a child, that ruined a life. She was constantly hit as she was repeated she was_ _ **worthless**_ _. She was thrown across rooms as she was repeated she was loved and accepted by_ _ **no one**_ _, not even her own_ _ **parents**_ _… She was whipped as she was repeated she should be_ _ **grateful**_ _to the Himura's generosity._

 _Overtime, seeing that nothing was wrong with the family or how Kiku was treated… the visits from psychologists or social workers decreased even if they kept checking every few months – they never noticed anything. Kiku was fed enough to not show any sign of ill-nourishment, all of her bruises and scars were only seen if she took off her clothes and more importantly, she always did what the Himura_ _ **wanted**_ _of her – she had no choice, if she didn't say what they wanted her to say, she'd be hit even more. So she kept lying, months after months to everyone, that she was happy even if her back had bled the previous day and it hurt to keep sitting straight. She swallowed back the pain and she faced the world with the mask of a shy, but happy adopted girl. The result everyone expected without noticing the cracks in a flawed system._

 _Hidden under the covers, Kiku was crying as silently as possible – if she made any sound, Souma-oji-san might hear and might come to hurt her. He had already whipped her the previous day but he was drunk once again. He had shouted after Ryouichi-nii and she had heard his screams until Riko-oba-san stopped him from hitting any more her son. He found refuge in his room and locked himself in – Kiku_ _'s room_ _didn't have any lock. She heard Riko's shouts, Souma's furious screams. She knew she was next. She knew he would grab her again and hit her but her back… it hurt so much she could barely walk anymore…!_

 _The door slammed open and she jumped as he pulled away her covers then grabbed her hair, shouting while she was already crying. He pulled her across the hall so violently she fell on her knees._

" _Get up! GET UP!" He ordered, struggling to pull her any more when she tried to be as heavy as possible._

" _N-NO! P-please! No more! I'll do anything you say! Please!" She shouted, sobbing, unable to take any more hits._

" _Stop begging! You're_ _ **pitiful!**_ _You heard?! PITIFUL! That's why your parents abandoned you at birth! That's why_ _ **no one**_ _loves you and why everyone will_ _ **always**_ _leave you!"_

" _Please…!"_

" _You think we CARE for you?! You're only a pain ever since you've arrived! Always crying and provoking troubles for us! I hate you! You should die, damn it! Why didn't you die when you were abandoned?!"_

 _He pulled at her even stronger and she screamed in pain, trying to hold onto his wrist to lessen the hurt. She couldn't keep up with his steps and suddenly, she was thrown forward. She fell into the stairs and rolled down. Her head hurt, her whole body throbbed in pain but Souma was already walking down to get her – he was even more furious than he had ever been, he had drunk even more than he ever did…!_

 _Kiku desperately reached for the doorknob, her fingers brushed the cold metal but Souma kicked her in the rib so hard she heard it crack and fell backwards, hitting her temple against the furniture at the entrance._

" _Where do you think you're going, little_ _minx_ _?! You're in our house, you STAY here! I'm not done with you yet!"_

 _She sobbed even more as he kicked her again – she felt the familiar taste of blood in her mouth, but it was more than usual and she couldn't help but cough out the blood. He punched her and for a moment, she was almost unconscious, her vision blurry – but was it from the tears, from the pain in her whole body, from how hard breathing was…?_

 _Looking up, she saw the doorknob – the door wasn't locked, if only she could reach for it and run away… but her body was so heavy… it hurt so much… and the more he hit her, the more she slipped into unconsciousness – it felt good, she didn't feel any pain any more…_

" _Stop it! You'll kill her!" Riko finally shouted, trying to grab her husband's arm._

" _KNOW YOUR PLACE WOMAN!"_

 _He hit her so violently she was whipped around and fell on the floor, hitting her head against the lowest step._

 _Kiku's eyes suddenly widened when she realized that there was no one to help her – not that they had ever been of any help but tonight… Souma was just too mad. He would hit them all, he would kill her. Ryouichi was locked in his bedroom. Riko was unconscious… She had to get away, she had to run away when she still could…_

 _Distracted by Riko, Souma had turned his attention away from Kiku for a short instant. She got up, as painful as it was and reached for the door, grabbing the doorknob, it almost felt like freedom…!_

" _YOU!"_

 _He grabbed the nearest object he could find: a vase on the entrance furniture then smashed it on Kiku – she shouted and fell on her knees, still holding onto the doorknob. Her back and her neck, even the side of her face were covered in a warm liquid – blood._

 _Realizing what he had done and more importantly that it would be nearly impossible to cover up what had happened, there was a moment when Souma came back from his madness… Hand bleeding from the pieces of ceramic that had torn his hand apart when he had smashed it against Kiku… he stared at the eleven years-old or so girl, then at his wife… Alcohol and adrenaline barely kept his blood hot._

 _The door opened._

 _He turned around and his eyes widened, panic making his heart speed up terribly as Kiku ran, or rather wobbled, away from the house._

 _She tried to run, struggling to remain on her legs while Souma shouted behind her._

" _STOP! COME BACK! KIKU! DON'T GO OUT!"_

 _She ran forward, her vision blurred by tears and blood. She looked up and was blinded by a white light. The car tried to stop in time but it still bumped into her. She fell on the hard ground like a limp doll just as the two car passengers exited it._

" _Little girl! I didn't see you! You came so…"_

 _The man's voice trailed as he took in the state of the girl which was in no way caused by the light hit of his car… he looked up, as stunned as his colleague and they finally noticed Souma, out of the house after he had started running after Kiku. Realizing he was caught, he fell down on his knees and started crying furiously, putting his hands behind his head. The_ _ **one**_ _time this little bitch tried to run away, it_ _ **had**_ _to be when a car passed by in the middle of the night. It_ _ **had**_ _to be a police car…_

 _The two policemen quickly arrested and put away Souma while they called for the hospital to come to take care of Kiku. By the time the ambulance had come to give her the first cares, and because she was in no immediate danger, they surrounded her shoulders with a blanket while she waited, sitting quietly in the ambulance to be taken to the hospital._

 _The police-officer from earlier approached quietly and sat in front of her, remaining silent for a short moment until he spoke up softly, trying not to be scary to the little girl despite all the sounds and voices and the blinding lights – white kept flashing from the moment she had been hit by the stopping car, but now there were also the yellow and red from the ambulance. It made her eyes tired and she just wanted to sleep…_

" _I'm a police officer, my name is Iwaizumi Takashi." He introduced himself with a smile._

 _She didn't look at him, she didn't seem to even hear him._

" _Could you tell me… what happened exactly?" He asked hesitantly._

 _The only answer he obtained was tears filling her eyes and the trembling of her body. He pursed his lips together but understood he wouldn't be able to have any answer in her state._

" _I'll go with you at the hospital if you don't mind," he said but she didn't seem to acknowledge it, "You're not alone anymore, okay…?"_

 _Kiku stopped breathing just as he stood up and went down the ambulance. She stared at him – he was so big and tall, it was scary, especially with his dark blue outfit. He had spiky hair and was calling someone._

" _I know… I know… Tell Hajime I'm sorry, I won't be here after all even if I had promise to be here for his birthday… It seems like, we landed on a pretty big deal – I don't know when I'll be done with it. It's a tough topic too – a girl who ended up abused by her adoption family. Yeah… yeah, I know… I love you too…"_

 _He ended the call and when he turned to her, she quickly looked away and a minute later, they were taken to the hospital. The police-officer… Iwai-something… did remain all night and most of the following day with her even if they didn't speak. He kept asking her questions but she was too scared to speak. When they'll be done with her, she'll go back to the Himura and Souma would be furious – he'd kill he for sure…!_

" _Y'know…" The rather-kind police-officer suddenly spoke up while he sat on a chair in the hospital room after the doctors and nurses were done with her, "The man who was your_ _adoption_ _father… Himura Souma – he won't hurt you again. So you can talk to me."_

 _ **How can you be so sure…? He's hurt me for years, why do you protect me now when it's too late?**_ _She thought, glancing up at him._

 _For a short moment, he blinked, surprised to see such eyes. She was exhausted but mostly, what struck him were the emotions in it: fear, so much fear it made his heart hurt. Despair. Mistrust. Sadness… She didn't believe him – she didn't_ _ **want**_ _to believe he could help her, that anyone would be here to help her at all._

" _I have a son around your age… it'd break me to even think of anything that happened to you, happening to him… but I can promise you, Kiku… that I won't let anyone hurt you again._ _ **No one**_ _will allow it. You won't go back with the Himura who hurt you so much. You're safe, okay?" He continued softly._

 _Kiku's eyes filled with tears then she started crying, silently, relief washing over her body until she couldn't hold back her sobs. It was only long after she had fallen asleep, while the sun was setting, that Iwaizumi could write the report then go back to his home – but his son was already sleeping and this year, he didn't get to wish him a happy birthday in time. He could only tell him while he was sleeping, clutching his new godzilla plushy._

 _For the following days, Kiku had to heal – the doctors and nurses made sure all of her injuries had been taken care of and even though she would keep scars – in her back, neck and the left side of her face, she would be all right. Physically._

" _I'm Fujimoto Jirou. I'm a psychologist – I'm a doctor, but unlike my colleagues I won't take care of_ _the_ _wounds_ _on your body_ _. I just want you to talk, Kiku." He started, sitting in front of the little girl._

 _She stared at him then turned her head away, not wanting to listen to him or talk. There was a long moment of silence until Fujimoto spoke up again:_

" _My job is to listen to you, anything you have to say, you can say it. We could start… with how you feel about what happened with the Himura for all these years. Or how you feel about being adopted."_

 _He proposed a few more topics of conversation but for days, no matter how much time he spent by her side, she wouldn't speak. If asked a question by the nurses about her injuries, she would only nod. Her voice hadn't been heard ever since the night of the accident._

" _She keeps quiet," A doctor noticed as Fujimoto exited the room with a sigh._

 _Iwaizumi – as the police officer responsible of the investigation, had often visited Kiku but she hadn't said a thing to him, or anyone._

" _She's under shock, she won't talk for a long while. When will she be able to go out and breathe some fresh air? It'll do her good."_

" _In a few days – even if her back seems to still hurt, she can walk… When I think about years of such mistreatment… how could it go unnoticed?" The doctor murmured, shaking his head as he looked at Kiku who was staring down at her hands, as quiet as ever._

" _This bastard made sure to be discreet and cover up his tracks – if Kiku hadn't happened to run straight to my car, it might have still gone on for a long time… Everyone I interrogated was surprised. Other than being shy and not having much friends, no one at her school had noticed anything about Kiku being mistreated. Turns out, the Himura had taken her in because they wanted the money given by the adoption system – instead of using it to provide for the adopted child, they used it for their own sake."_

" _It's disgusting…"_

" _Unfortunately, it happens more often than not… and it always goes unnoticed until it's too late." Iwaizumi murmured sadly._

" _It won't be too late for Kiku, she was saved in time," Fujimoto said._

 _Iwaizumi sent him a doubtful glance then looked back at the girl. She was quiet, lifeless, empty. He didn't see how such a broken doll could be brought back to life._

" _She is in no state to be taken in by another family anytime soon, but by then, I'll make sure to make her feel better. To forgive herself…" Fujimoto said with a nod._

" _Forgive herself?" Iwaizumi asked in confusion._

 _Lips thin, Fujimoto turned to look at Kiku then spoke up:_

" _She was left to die as a baby, went from house to house and was emotionally and physically abused by her adoptive family for six years. She is shy and quiet and doesn't talk – these are the typical traits that lonely children have when they feel abandoned and like their life don't matter. I'm sure the Himura must have repeated to her that no one wanted of her and they were the only ones who cared for her. For better or for worse… for six years they_ _ **were**_ _her family and they took care of her. It's the only family she remained in for a long time. She doesn't know anything else. She probably thinks it's her fault that her parents left her and then that the Himura acted this way towards her."_

 _No one answered to that. As soon as Kiku had the green light to take a walk, Fujimoto took her into the garden behind the hospital – the bright sun, the people, it was a little too much and it overwhelmed her. She didn't speak but she_ _ **did**_ _grab his hand to hold onto someone. He felt like it might be the first step towards recovery for Kiku._

 _A few days later, it was in his office, with warm and welcoming colors rather than the blank and lifeless white of hospital halls, that he talked with her. She sat in front of him but remained quiet for most of the time. Then, he decided to propose to her a chocolate. He pushed the little plastic jar filled with chocolates across the coffee table between them. She stared at it for a moment, then she looked up at him – her gaze was filled with anger and bitterness. She grabbed the jar and threw it across the room, glaring at him._

" _You're angry. It's normal," he said, not impressed even if she tightened her fists, "You have the right to feel angry, Kiku. After years holding up sadness and fear, now that you feel safer, you're angry at us, adults, for ignoring your silent pleas. And you're right – we should have noticed what was being done to you and we should have helped you years ago. You have the right to feel angry._ _ **Everything**_ _you feel is_ _ **valid**_ _. You have the right to feel every bit of emotion you_ _ **should**_ _feel – just like you have the right to speak up. No one will judge you, no one will hurt you no matter what you feel or say."_

 _Shocked that he had figured her out even if she hadn't said a word… she stared at him with wide eyes… then his words hit her and she felt tears fill her eyes. She tried to hold it back, to keep quiet – if she made any sound,_ _ **he'd**_ _hear and_ _ **he'd**_ _beat her again…!_

" _You can cry… You're safe." He said softly, handing her a handkerchief._

 _Slowly, her silent cries_ _grew_ _in intensity. Her shoulders shook and even if it hurt her back, she couldn't stop it. Her chest hurt as little whines escaped her lips then, it turned into sobs. She spent the rest of the time with Fujimoto crying and after, instead of asking her to talk, he helped her clean up her red face and eyes because he knew, and she liked that he could tell, that she didn't want to show to anyone that she had broken and cried. Even if it was valid, she wanted to be strong, even if she might not understand it yet._

 _It still took her a few days to speak – she mostly cried and screamed and got violent against pillow_ _s_ _. She ignored or glared at anyone who would visit her except Fujimoto and a few rare doctors or nurses… It was the main reason why Iwaizumi Takashi stopped visiting her: he hated seeing such a child turned so hateful and bitter against the world. And the investigation was closed – even without Kiku's testimony, there were enough evidences to send Himura Souma in prison. He visited less and less but still followed what was happening to her as her remaining in the hospital turned into weeks then months with little to no advancement._

 _Fujimoto kept talking to her, repeating her that what she felt was valid and she could express herself no matter what. Slowly, she calmed down from her break-downs and tantrums and finally, she shyly…_ _ **quietly**_ _let her voice speak up:_

" _I… I'm sorry…" She whispered with a voice broken from weeks without speaking other than shouting._

" _You don't have to be sorry, Kiku. I told you you weren't responsible for anything. You–"_

" _I'm… sorry… for not… talking before…" She added, voice trembling and tears in her eyes, "I… think I can trust you…"_

 _It took Fujimoto by surprise but he smiled anyway and nodded._

" _Thank you… I trust you too."_

 _Little by little, she opened up and talked to him. Then she talked a little to other people. She told him everything that had happened – everything she felt. It was only more evidences added to the investigation file. But it was mostly Kiku's only way to heal her heart and soul. To understand she had a reason to live, that her life was not worthless – even if her biological parents had abandoned her and all the families she had been in had left her or hurt her… she could still find a reason to live, a family to love her… It was never too late to start again._

 _Her body was better as well – most of her injuries had turned into scars by now and it barely hurt any more, but she was still checked often by a kinesitherapist._ _She_ _was a kind woman and Kiku liked her enough to speak a little. Kato Tsubasa. Kato-san was massaging her back and making sure she could walk without trouble despite the years of receiving a whip in her back and against her column, all the while sharing stories about her husband who was a volleyball club's coach._

" _Tsubasa…! Ah, sorry, you have someone…"_

 _Tsubasa and Kiku turned around, a brown-haired woman looking a lot like Tsubasa, but with short hair, at the doorway. She looked exhausted, her eyes were dark and red from not sleeping and crying. Kiku knew it because she had had the same look for a long time._

" _I'm almost done, Nana. Can you wait for me in my office?"_

 _Once she was gone, Kiku looked up at Tsubasa:_

" _Who is she? Why does she look so sad?"_

 _Tsubasa's lips turned thin as she put a comforting hand on Kiku's shoulder._

" _She's my older sister… and… and she just lost her daughter in a car accident. A few months ago but… it's hard for her to get over it."_

 _Kiku didn't dare say anything else and tried to hide her compassionate tears, even though Tsubasa knew that despite the fits of anger and violence she could still have from time to time, Kiku was kind-hearted. It was surprising, so much kindness, after everything that had happened to her…_

" _Who was this girl?" Nanami asked later, head turned to the road as her sister drove for a family dinner – even if it didn't feel the same without…_

" _Ah, it's a long story…"_

 _Tsubasa told everything she could about what had happened to Kiku, but Nanami only looked lost and confused._

"… _Why hurting your child even if he's not your own? Children… children are the joy of this world, once they're gone… all joy is gone too…" She whispered, tears in her eyes as her heart squeezed painfully._

 _Tsubasa didn't find anything to answer to that._

 _Several times after that, Kiku met again Nanami and they even talked. Nanami was the only person she had opened up to so quickly – perhaps because she reminded her of Tsubasa. Or perhaps it was Nanami's motherly warmth that reassured Kiku. After a few weeks, Nanami shared it with her husband._

" _She has no family!" She exclaimed._

 _Shouta shook his head, not sure this idea of hers was a good one…_

" _But adopting… Nanami, after…"_

 _His voice broke and it took a lot for both of them to continue the conversation:_

" _I'm not against adoption, especially if this girl needs a family but… after what happened to Yumiko… I'm scared it'll only hurt us more to take another child in. I-I don't want to feel like we're replacing her…"_

" _Do you think I could_ _ **ever**_ _replace Yumiko in my heart?" She answered, tears in her eyes._

" _No, of course not, but–"_

" _We've tried for years after Yumiko's birth to have another child – it never worked. M-maybe… maybe Kiku could be our child! It wouldn't hurt to try–"_

" _ **Try?**_ _Nanami, didn't you say that this girl was abandoned by every one of her families that adopted her? That the last one even almost killed her? If we take this girl in, we can't mess up – we need to love her and give her a family… We can't just 'try'. It would only hurt her more… And it's not just about us – your sister and her husband, our parents… how will they react to it? Could they accept it?"_

" _I…"_

 _Nanami swallowed hard then wiped away the tears that had started to spill._

" _I want to be a_ _ **mother**_ _… I-I need a daughter, and Kiku… needs a mother… I will_ _ **never**_ _forget or cease to leave Yumiko,_ _ **never**_ _but… but I can't watch Kiku when she has_ _ **no one**_ _… Where will she go next? Another messed up family?"_

 _Shouta sighed not knowing what to think of this possibility. They had never thought of adopting until Nanami learned that Kiku didn't have anywhere to go next. He opened his arms and his wife immediately buried her face against his chest, his arms hugging her tightly._

 _After more discussion, they went to see Kiku. Together. And even though Shouta scared her at first, he was smiling so softly it was hard not to see him as a big teddy bear… They told her they wanted to adopt her. She didn't say anything. She didn't say yes, she didn't say no. But the fear was obvious in her eyes – fear of being in another bad family, fear of being abandoned again, fear of being hurt again… But after talking about it with Fujimoto, Kiku agreed to it. Nanami and Shouta started_ _filling_ _the papers for the adoption – they were checked by the system… and by Iwaizumi Takashi who had taken it as a personal duty to make sure Kiku wouldn't be hurt ever again. Even if the Akiyama family had all been checked, he checked again. He made sure she would be in a good family. But he kept the name in a corner of his head – Akiyama Kiku. He'll have to check every once in a while on her, and this family, and make sure that what had happened to Kiku, never happened again… When Kiku left the hospital with her new adopting parents, she slowed down upon noticing a crowd. There was a little show for the people in the hospital and their family – cheerleaders. They were flying, jumping, making impossible stunts, shouting encouraging words. Encouraging words coming out of their hearts and souls, and not out of pity or because it was their job like all the doctors and policemen Kiku had met… the encouraging words Kiku_ _ **needed**_ _to start her new life._

 _Going into a new house, with a new family was hard for everyone. Kiku had spent so many years afraid of the people living under the same roof as her that at every mistake or misstep, she was on the verge of breaking completely. She'd apologize endlessly but Shouta and Nanami always forgave and understood her. They gave her the time and space she needed to get used to everything. In return, Kiku gave them the time and space to finish mourning their lost daughter and get used to the idea of another one. They found a rhythm, they weren't unhappy but they weren't happy either – they weren't a family…_

" _Kiku."_

 _The tone of Nanami's voice was serious and like so many times, Kiku's heart started beating in fear and panic, afraid she might have done something wrong and they'd leave her._

" _I want to talk to you…" Nanami started._

 _They sat on Kiku's bed and after a little bit of silence so she could gather her thoughts, Nanami spoke up again:_

" _When I started thinking about adopting you… I… I admit that it was mostly to get over my loss. Of course, I wanted to help you but I wanted to help myself first. I'm realizing it was selfish and you probably knew it when you accepted to be adopted by us_ _so_ _…_ _i_ _f you knew… why did you accept?"_

 _It took Kiku by surprise, not quite knowing at which point of this conversation Nanami_ _will say_ _she'd rather send Kiku somewhere else, after all. B-but… Kiku didn't want to leave… The Akiyama were so sweet, so warm, so… they felt like real parents. They weren't her parents, they had had their own daughter and all three were still stumbling but… It was the closest to a family she's ever had. She… didn't want to leave them. She wanted to remain with them…_

" _I… I thought… If you could… feel better after your daughter's death… thanks to me… even if you could never become my parents, if you were to feel better… I'd be glad… that's why… I accepted…" Kiku answered in a soft voice._

 _Nanami stared at her, stunned by these words. She had thought Kiku had thought about it carefully but jumped on the chance of having a family – but she had put her and Shouta's happiness first._

" _Kiku… this is… it's so… kind… How can you be so kind when the world has been so cruel to you…?" She whispered._

 _ **She**_ _couldn't be that kind – her sweet daughter had been stolen from her when she was just a teenager. Fifteen years are not enough years. It was too soon to die, she had so many more things to live. Nanami couldn't forgive life, and the world, for being so cruel and taking away her daughter before her time…_

" _I… want people happy… if I can make them happy… perhaps… they'll love me… and they'll accept me…" Kiku murmured shyly,, fumbling her fingers with the hem of her shirt._

 _Nanami's silent tears rolled down her cheeks, mouth hanging open. Life had been cruel to Kiku – more than to most people. But she had chosen kindness over bitterness. She had decided to spread goodness and happiness to be accepted… because no one had ever accepted her as she was. If only she could understand she didn't have to try so hard to be loved…_

" _Kiku… would you…"_

 _She hesitated then showed her open hands to Kiku who glanced up at her curiously._

" _Could you give me another chance…? At being a mother? A_ _ **good**_ _mother, the mother you deserve…?" She asked softly._

 _Kiku's eyes filled with tears. It wasn't the "I'll never leave you, you're now my daughter" she had always dreamt of… but it was better. Nanami was trying. Like Shouta. Like the entire Akiyama family to accept her. Not to take the place of Yumiko – but as Kiku. They wanted her to be part of their family…_

 _Hand trembling, she hesitantly reached for Nanami's hand and nodded vividly, eyes sparkling happily when Nanami smiled with the warmth only a mother could give._

" _M… mom…" She whispered, voice breaking as a sob shook her._

 _For the first time in her life, "mom" sounded right. She had found her family._

Kiku was sitting on the edge of her bed, just like all these years ago when she had been accepted by Nanami as her daughter, and she had accepted her as her mother. She turned silent and as if slowly coming back for air after drowning excruciatingly slowly… she came back into her room, the present and…

She glanced up at Hajime who was leaning against her desk, his arms crossed and a dark, indescribable expression on his face. His eyes were closed, his brows furrowed. She wanted to say something but she had no idea what she should add to her story. She had no idea how to make it sound better. She didn't want to see him so… so _shaken_ …

"… _Why?"_

His voice was low, it sounded rough and harsh. Then, he opened his eyes and slowly turned towards Kiku, his gaze intense. It was burning from… compassion and sadness but, there was also anger, bitterness, confusion…

Kiku's eyes filled with tears – it was exactly what she _didn't_ want Hajime to feel…

"Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" He asked, sounding more bitter than he wanted.

When he noticed how hurtful his words had sounded, he swallowed hard then spoke up again:

"We've been friends for _months_ now, you're part of the team… why… _why_ did you keep quiet for _so long?_ Why didn't you _trust_ me…?!" He exclaimed, voice rising.

Kiku startled and lowered her head, a hand coming up to her mouth to stifle her cries.

Guilty to make her feel like that, Hajime instantly softened a little and stepped forward… but he froze. What was he supposed to say and do? He wanted to comfort her… but he wanted, he _needed_ to know _why_ she hadn't trusted him when she had had so many opportunities to open up to him – not necessarily the whole story, but… didn't she know by now he wouldn't judge her, or reject her simply because she was adopted? Because she had been hurt? How could she think him so _low_ and _shallow_ and keep it a secret for so long?

"Just tell me why you didn't trust me!" He exclaimed again, stepping forward but this time pressuring her for an answer.

He was _desperate_ to have one – his heart was beating madly from how panicked he was. If Kiku had never trusted him – did she ever _like_ him at all? _Everything_ they had, all the time they spent together – did it even _matter_ to her if she never trusted him?!

"TELL ME!" He shouted suddenly.

"I was _scared!"_ She exclaimed, standing up suddenly, the cover around her shoulders dropping on the floor.

"Scared of _me?!_ I would _never_ hurt you!" He hissed, deeply hurt that she'd even think him capable of raising his hand against her.

" _Everyone_ hurts me! Everyone just keeps on hurting me, then they leave me! I never had anyone – how could I _think…?!_ _How_ could I _hope_ you… you'd be _different!_ You're not any better than the others, you're not special! You're kind but even _you_ , as kind and open-minded as you claim to be…! You're watching me with _these eyes!"_

He took a step backwards, mouth hanging open, feeling offended and hurt by everything she said but she continued, tears streaming down her face as she screamed:

"You're looking at me like everyone _always_ does! With pity! And you're so kind you'd probably stay with me just to not hurt me, not because you _want_ to be with me! I don't _want_ that! I never wanted to tell you any of that because someday, you'll get tired of me and you'll _leave_ me and I'll have NO ONE!"

Breathing heavily, she stared at him for a long time, her gaze burning in so much pain and… the _absolute belief_ that it was inevitable that he wouldn't stay with her, that he'd eventually leave…

His green eyes shone – from tears he refused to let roll, and from all the pain and sadness he felt after everything she just told him…

"Not any better than the others, not special… Is that what you really think of me?" He murmured, his shaking voice revealing how much his heart clenched painfully.

Realizing she had hurt him in ways she had never wanted, Kiku calmed down and tried to open her lips, but he cut her:

"I get it now, you… you think I'm just some asshole who would discard you as soon as I got tired of you – if that's what you think of me, you don't _know_ me. I-I thought that you'd… that you'd be _different_ … but I was wrong…"

He turned around and she took a step forward to stop him:

"Haji–"

"Thanks… for telling me." He said without looking at her, "Y'know… if you don't trust people… it's no wonder they'd eventually leave…" He added in a hushed voice.

Kiku's heart broke and she felt like the ground was shattering under her feet and would swallow her whole…

Hajime started to glance over his shoulder, but he couldn't bring himself to actually look at her – or he'd break. Jaw and fists clenched tightly, he walked out of the door and closed it quietly. The moment he was out of view from Kiku his expression broke and he bit hard on his lower lip. He started trembling as he held back tears, furious against himself and Kiku and the world and _everything_ …

Refusing to cry before he was hidden in his bedroom, he walked away from Kiku's bedroom. Every step seemed to deepen the rift that had appeared between them and even though he didn't want to hear any more of what she _truly_ thought of him… he also prayed that she'd go out of her room and go after him. Hold onto him, onto what they had even if it wasn't much… His heartbeat resonated with his steps and it took all of his mental strength to not break down right here and now, feeling like everything he had had with Kiku – the good times, the innocent love, the promises for a future together – had just broken into sharp pieces that pierced his heart.

He didn't realize what stairs he had taken and he ended up in the back of the bakery. Before he could turn around, Shouta – who was behind the counter – noticed him. He stared at the high-schooler with a long, firm gaze. He knew what Kiku had talked about with Hajime up there. And Hajime _knew_ that he _knew_ …

Hajime thought he was about to be threatened, kicked out of the bakery or something by the giant man… but he didn't say anything, he didn't judge. He didn't judge any of the boy's words, or his decision to get out. Realizing he could make it out safely, ashamed to face him after learning Shouta had lost his daughter and he was now breaking his second daughter's heart… he hurried towards the door, face turned down.

"It's okay, you know."

Hajime froze as Shouta spoke up once again:

"Everything you feel is valid. It's something I was told a lot after Yumiko's death, and Kiku heard it a lot too. You have the right to feel what you feel and put your own emotions first." He said with a calm, understanding voice, "But _please_ … no matter what you decide in the future, no matter what happens and what you do… don't be angry at Kiku. She's used to being rejected, as sad as it sounds, but she's not used to have people being angry at her. It would hurt her much more than anything else… especially from you."

Shouta wanted to add more but he wasn't sure the boy could handle it at the moment. Hajime didn't understand just how much Kiku liked and admired him, how much she looked up to him. For the last three years he was her greatest inspiration and he was the reason why she found a reason to live for.

Before he could say anything else, though… Hajime, fists clenched and gaze shattered by all of the conflicting emotions he felt, spoke up:

"She… she never told me she was adopted, she didn't trust me…!"

Shouta paused, observing him closely before drying his hands and speaking up, eyes looking down thoughtfully.

"It's not _you_ she didn't trust, it's _life_. You know, people don't like hearing about this sort of things so there's always this sort of discomfort whenever such a topic is brought up."

He paused with a sigh before slowly walking out of behind the counter, looking out at the children playing in the neighborhood through the bakery's windows.

"Adoption… it's a tough topic. People don't like talking about that. Knowing that some children don't have parents, that they are rejected from birth or later. Never having parents with you, losing your parents… losing your children…"

He looked down sadly. Hajime swallowed hard, now knowing he had lost his child many years ago.

"Most people fall in love, get married, have children… They see their children grow up and become their own persons. But sometimes… sometimes life is crueler and doesn't allow you to live that. So, when people are reminded of the harshness of life, they feel awkward and uncomfortable. This is why abused children, abandoned children, losing your parents or your children… it's a difficult topic to bring up and when we go through it, we don't like talking about it. Kiku didn't want to feel the pitying and uncomfortable gazes from others, that's why she doesn't say she was abandoned as a baby. Just like… I don't say I lost my child."

Shouta took a shaky breathe then put a hand on Hajime's shoulder, squeezing it for comfort, looking straight into his eyes.

"When life has been cruel to you, you have to carry it in your heart and continue life but this burden drags you down, it slows you down… Kiku probably wants to protect you, she doesn't you to feel this burden, but she also cares for you the way she had never cared for _anyone_ before…"

He hesitated before giving a tight smile and another squeeze.

"Go clear your head… And figure out if you're willing to share this burden with her."

Hajime looked down, shaken up by everything he had learned, everything he felt… He was still angry at Kiku for keeping such a secret for so long, he was also angry at what she had told him, but Shouta's words had struck him deep.

He exited, feet dragged as he tried to figure out what to do, what to feel, what to think… He could barely understand the weight of the revelation as it was…

"Iwaizumi!"

He stopped suddenly and looked up, stunned to see Hanamaki running down to him from his house, so casually, a lazy smile on his face… It felt so _unreal_ to see his teammate after everything he had learned in so little time – it was like a slap back in reality. But reality also meant that _Hanamaki_ , who was Kiku's neighbor and childhood friend, had known _all along_ about Kiku being adopted… but he never said _anything_ to _anyone!_ It wasn't his story to tell but Iwaizumi had had the _right_ to know…!

"I saw you in Kiku's bedroom from the window – what did you talk about? You–"

"How could you not tell me?" Iwaizumi said in a low voice, frowning and glaring at Hanamaki.

He hesitated, not understanding why the Ace was so angry at him, for no reason…

"Tell you what?"

"Don't play the fool! You knew _all along!_ But you didn't _tell_ me! How _could_ you?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

Before he knew it he advanced towards Hanamaki and grabbed his shirt, shaking him violently and shouting in his face:

"You could have told me or _anyone_ but you kept it to yourself, bastard! Knowing this! You should have warned me how much mess I was getting into but you _encouraged_ me to _fall_ for her!"

Too shocked by the sudden violence, Hanamaki stepped back until he tripped and fell on his behind, on the grass. Iwaizumi followed him and continued shaking him, though with less anger and more distress, his eyes shining with tears.

"You could have talked to her! You could have told me she was adopted! Why did you keep it a secret?!"

Hanamaki's eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat.

Finally breaking, Iwaizumi fell on his knees, letting go of his friend and letting angry tears escape his eyes. He quickly wiped them away, furiously, with his forearm.

"…What?"

Hajime immediately glared back at the wing-spiker to shout at him… only to freeze when he realized Hanamaki seemed just as shaken and shocked as him…

"What did you say? She's what? A-adopted?" He repeated, panic in his voice, "T-that's impossible…!"

"D-don't give me that crap! You're her _neighbor_ , you've been friends since you were children! There's no way you wouldn't know!"

"No… no, I… we moved in here just before I started middle-school. She had always been… I had assumed the Akiyama had always lived here but…"

Suddenly understanding that Hanamaki never knew Kiku when she had arrived, but only always when she was already an Akiyama… Iwaizumi remained silent. Even if they weren't best friends – she had kept it a secret from someone who had known her for longer than anyone else… And that alone, even if he wasn't nearly as attached to her as Hajime was… seemed to be enough to shock Takahiro who couldn't believe it.

"You said… _she's_ … _how_ … _why_ wouldn't she tell me? _You? Anyone?!"_

Unable to answer, Iwaizumi clenched his fists against his thighs then slowly stood up, almost painfully. As if the weight of his heart kept him stuck to the ground and refused to let him move. Stunned, Hanamaki kept staring at him, mouth hanging open.

"Sorry… I thought you knew and you had kept it from me…" Iwaizumi muttered before turning around.

"W-wait! Where are you going?! Iwaizumi!" Hanamaki called.

But he didn't seem to hear him, or care about it and walked away, shoulders down and gaze devastated by betrayal…

In all three years, he had never seen the resilient Ace so _broken_ … but then again… even after years, secrets could be revealed. New faces of people he thought he knew could be discovered, was what he thought as he glanced up at Kiku's window.

* * *

 _I need to give a little explanation on the topic I decided to use in this fanfic: not just Kiku being adopted but also abused by her foster family. I always knew that adopted children didn't' have happy-go-lucky lives but I had always assumed they were well-cared for by their families, that if parents were willing to adopt, they'd love the child no matter what. But I started realizing it wasn't this easy with Once Upon a Time and the main character, Emma Swan, going from foster house to foster house. Then, I read a book that opened my eyes: "The Problem with Forever" from Jennifer L. Armentrout where the story is about two children finding each other years after quitting the foster house they had been in, and abused in. I had never imagined such a thing but it is real and no one talks about the reality of the adoption system and the nightmares it can hide._

 _Moreover, when working for this fanfiction, I looked for statistics about abuse and neglect of adopted children, or how adopted children were taken care of, I didn't find any satistics specifically giving a number or percentage. Perhaps I didn't look well enough but after an entire page of google with no clear information I realized that, the reason why finding statistics wasn't easy was because it's not a topic people like to share. It motivated me even more to share it with people, even though it's hard to admit that some children end up abandoned and then, abused in their foster homes, it's the truth and we have to be aware of it. I still found a few number and I copy paste a few quotes from internet articles I found (I'm not putting the links because it doesn't work well on but if you need more information, don't hesitate to ask me in private message):_

 _"Many [adopted children] have suffered abuse or neglect, all have been separated from their birth families and all have spent time in the care system. Many will have grown up feeling unsafe, uncared for and alone – their 'walls' will be incomplete and fragile."_

 _"Many kids in the adoption system both domestically and internationally have experienced some degree of physical, sexual, emotional or neglectful abuse-and at the very least have been impacted by relational trauma and separation. The ones that are noted in writing on the preadoption referral, oftentimes have had more moderate to severe abuse as it left signs or scars that alerted the caregivers or authorities to their past history or the child has actually conveyed the abuse history to a trusted adult. A child that has documented one type of abuse, has often experienced or been exposed to multiple forms of abuse. Major early trauma puts children at risk for behavioral, cognitive, psychological, and emotional problems long after placement including issues with self-esteem, internalizing (keeping things in) or externalizing (acting out) behaviors, developmental and social delays, and mental health issues later in life."_

 _"Current statistics show that as many as 75% of children in foster care have been sexually abused. Many times sexual abuse is not indicated in a child's file; they have not trusted anyone enough to share this secret with them."_

 _"Like the first report, sexual abuse was the overwhelmingly (74%) prevalent form of maltreatment. This was true for family foster care (74%), relative foster care (76%), specialized foster care (62%), and institutions (89%). Birth parents were the most frequent perpetrators of the abuse (45% of cases) followed by unrelated parent substitutes (20%)"_

 _"Substantial risk of harm accounted for the highest percentage of reports in foster family homes (34%) and relative foster homes (35%). In non-related foster homes, sexual abuse (24%), physical abuse (22%), and lack of supervision (20%) comprised the remaining types of maltreatment that occurred. In relative foster care, lack of supervision (25%), physical abuse (22%), and sexual abuse (13%) were the other substantially reported incidents. In specialized foster homes, physical abuse was the most frequent type of abuse (32%), followed by sexual abuse (29%). In institutions, sexual abuse and lack of supervision each accounted for 28% of incidents. Physical abuse followed with 22%. "_

 _I also found statistics of abuse on children, not the ones adopted but it's still frightening high numbers: 61% for neglect, 13% for physical abuse. If there are such high numbers for your own children, imagine the numbers for a child you have adopted._

 _I need to precise two things in all of these quotes, facts and numbers: firstly, it's very hard to have a good idea of the real number of abused children, whether from their biological parents or in foster houses simply because most of te time, abuse/neglect/violence/sexual abuse are not noticed until it's too late, IF it's noticed at all and the child is saved. Secondly, neglect and abuse in foster houses remains a minority of cases and in most cases, everything goes well between foster parents and adopted child BUT there will always be some trauma for the child about being adopted and the fcat that his parents/guardians are not his biological parents._

 _Finally, I'm going to quote the acknowledgments words of Jennifer L. Armentrout which, I believe, are exactly what needs to be said: "Writing a novel that dealth with childhood neglect and abuse and their long-term effects meant I would be delving into a world a lot of people may find it hard to look closely upon. A world where some want to believe that what Mallory and Rider suffered are complete works of fiction. It wasn't easy to equally represent all the good in the services designed to protect our children while recognizing that some have and still do slip through the cracks of an underfunded, overworked and understaffed system."_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : WORDS ON A PAGE_

 _Don't hesitate to ask questions and tell me what you thought! :)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	33. Words on a Page

_Thank you for everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed! I totally forgot to thank you for over 300 reviews but THANK YOU SO MUCH! :D_

 _ **starrat** : Things will get better, don't worry, the sadness won't stay! :)_

 _ **Houshikun001** : I'm the one who should thank YOU for sticking up with me, and saying such sweet words! :) Writings is the best way to share some truths that are hard to talk about otherwise, so, I hope I'm doing a good enough job. Every one of my Hiakyuu fanfictions have a lesson to teach and some truths about the cruelty and beauty of our world revealed._

 _ **LuxKlara** : Sai perché Makki non sa la verità su Kiku, ti l'ho detto perché su skype. Makki anche erà molto toccato dalla storia di Kiku perché conosceva la ragazza per anni ma non aveva idea che era adottata o soffra moltissimo. Kiku racontando la sua storia a Hajime è la prova che l'ama moltissimo. Scusa, non è une lungha risponsta rispetto alla tua review ma abbiamo parlato di tutto. :) Spero che ti piacerai questo capitolo! ;)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Thank you so much. I tried my best talking about this heavy subject as best as I could and I hope that more people will be more aware of what cihldren often have to go through. :)_

 _ **PorcelainPuppetLady** : Hajime's reaction wasn't well taken or understood by readers. Yes, his reaction was harsh and he shouldn't have gotten angry but not everyone reacts the same way to big rveelation or such heavy stories. He was angry: by what happened to KIku, at himself for not noticing anything ebfore, and because she hadn't told him before when he had thought that they were friends and that she knew she could trust him. Trusting someone is hard, when you have ptsd, such a past and big trust issues, it's even harder. Hajime didn't understand because he never had to deal with someone with such a story - the worst he had to deal with was an overworking Oikawa who snapped once and tried slapping Kageyama. Hajime didn't know how to react,he didn't know how to feel and his anger, ebcause it couldn't be expressed against Kiku's past, took the form of a feeling of betrayal. That's why he got angry, but it doens't mean he's not sad, or hurt, or feeling guilty for that. he's just very confused and doesn't know how to react or behave which is a normal reaction for someone who never had to deal with such things before._

 _ **DeadlyWhisper21** : Thankfully, from now on, chapters will only get joyer and joyer! ;) And my fanficcs always have a happy ending! :)_

 _ **Krisia** : I hope you're speechless because it ws good enough, ahah! x)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : I did research, but not as much as I wished. I had expected it'd be easier to find information, but it wasn't. If someone indifferent such as you was touched by Kiku and my writing, then I'm happy! :D_

 _ **Millaby** : Oh dear, I am so sorry I ruined your breakfast! XD Comme je l'ai expliqué plus haut à PorcelainPuppeteLady, la réaction d'Hajime a été violente mais tout le monde ne réagit pas de la même façon à de telles révélations. Il est en colère et il est blessé: par ce qui arrivé à Kiku, contre lui-même pour n'avoir rien remarqué et parce qu'elle ne lui avait rien dit auparavant alors qu'il pensait qu'elle savait qu'ils étaient amis et qu'elle pouvait lui faire confiance. Il n'a jamais eu affaire à une telle histoire et il ne sait pas comment réagir alors il a laissé sa colère et sa douleur s'exprimer. Je ne dis pas que sa réaction était correcte vis à vis de KIku, mais c'était uner éaction normale pour une personne qui n'a jamais eu affaire à des personnes adoptées ou qui ont été abusés par leurs famille et souffrent de ptsd._

 _ **Aquafin** : Oh my goodness, consdering you're adopted I hope everything was fine in the chapter and it didn't hurt you. I hope you'll like the following chapters!_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXXIII : Words on a Page

" _I was always holding onto people, and they were always leaving."_

— **Lili St. Crow, Jealousy**

" _Even the strongest and bravest must sometimes weep. It shows they have a great heart, one that can feel compassion for others."_

— **Brian Jacques, Redwall**

" _Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."_

— **Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper**

" _You make me feel good inside, as if nothing really matters, not the future, not the past, just now and right now it all feels too lovely. Like two people that are meant to be; meeting for the very first time."_

— **R.M. Drake, Beautiful Chaos**

" _Look to your heart and soul first, rather than looking to your head first, when choosing. Rather than what you think, consider instead how you feel. Look to the nature of things. Feel your choices and decisions. It just might change everything."_

― **Jeffrey R. Anderson, The Nature of Things - Navigating Everyday Life with Grace**

" _It's not about making the right choice. It's about making a choice and making it right."_

― **J.R. Rim, Better to be able to love than to be loveable**

" _Never mistake someone's kindness for weakness."_

― **Unknown**

" _The world is so beautiful, but alas! There are so many assholes."_

― **M.F. Moonzajer**

" _Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go 'Uh, I'm kind of an as*hole.'"_

— **Louis C.K.**

Nanami and Shouta had discussed very quickly about the situation just as the bakery's doorbell rang. They turned with smiles to the customer but their smiles wavered when they saw Hanamaki here. He looked shocked and unlike himself, much more nervous and uncomfortable than he usually showed.

"Hey… uh, how is Kiku?" He asked, approaching the counter.

They didn't know whether or not Hajime had told him anything – it seemed so but they couldn't take the risk to reveal anything if it weren't the case.

"She's resting so she can go back to school on Monday." Nanami said with a smile.

Takahiro stared at her, recognizing the exact same smile she's always showed everyone. But he knew she was hiding why Kiku didn't feel good and it had nothing to do with Kiku's bad health.

"Can I see her?" He asked casually.

"I'm sorry, but… you shouldn't go near her."

"Ah, very quickly, Oikawa asked me to give her the notes about our last results. Y'know, being the manager and everything…" He continued.

"No. Taka-chan you can't see Kiku today." Nanami said, dropping her smile.

"Let me see her," he insisted, not smiling anymore as well.

Shouta was about to speak up and intervene when another voice spoke up:

"It's okay…"

They all turned towards Kiku. Her eyes were red from crying and it shook Hanamaki more than he cared to admit. His heart sped up as he glanced between Kiku and her parents… how could he never notice she didn't look like them _at all?_

Kiku glanced around, then by the window, her gaze saddening even more.

"Is… is he gone already…?" She asked in a low voice.

"I'm sorry, Kiku. He needs some time to figure things out," Shouta said with thin lips.

"If you want to talk with Iwaizumi… I'm sure he'd come back, I could run after him if you want, or something…" Hanamaki proposed, pointing over his shoulder hesitantly.

Kiku lowered her head then shook it no. As her father had said – he needed time. She turned around and went behind the shop to climb upstairs. Makki hesitated, then followed her, ignoring the way Nanami stared at him. Once in her bedroom, they didn't say anything for a long time.

"…Did he tell you the truth?" Kiku finally broke the silence.

"…Just that… you're adopted."

She turned around, something close to relief in her eyes – relief that Iwaizumi hadn't shared the whole story yet. But just as quickly, she seemed saddened by how things had turned out – Iwaizumi walking out on her, angry at her… her worst fears had become reality. What she had wanted to avoid had happened.

"I get that I haven't always been a good friend to you…" Hanamaki started, head kept low, "But why would you hide from me for _so long_ that you were adopted?"

Kiku could have said the same thing she had told Hajime earlier – she had been scared. Part of it was true, she was _always_ scared. She lived in constant fear to be left behind by the people she cared about. But the truth was that she never trusted Takahiro enough to reveal him anything. He was the first one to leave her as soon as it made things better for him – if she and Iwaizumi hadn't started to have something going on, she would have never talked with Hanamaki in high-school…

"You never asked…" She answered, a little more bitter than she intended.

He startled, almost guiltily, and frowned:

"How… was I supposed to guess and ask about something like that?! You could have trusted me and–"

" _Trust?"_ She repeated, eyes narrowing at him.

He startled once again but this time, out of fear. Many times they had argued and she had been angry at him – but this time, she was _furious_. Her eyes shone with raw anger and hurt – because of _him_.

"How could I possibly _trust_ you when you always pushed me away? When you left me alone for _years?!_ When you knew I was being bullied but you did _nothing_ to help me! Don't pretend you're my friend – you never were! You only used me to your own advantage and as soon as I was a bother or of no use to you, you turned your back from me and acted as if I never existed!" She shouted.

Before he could say a thing, she closed the space between them. He tried to step away from her but his legs hit her desk chair and he almost fell over, barely keeping his balance as she pointed an accusing finger at him, pocking harshly into his chest.

"That Hajime might be hurt because I didn't trust him when I _should_ have – I _can_ understand! But _you!_ You have _no right_ to be hurt because you never cared for me to begin with! The only thing that's hurt here is you pride because you assumed you knew me when you didn't even try to learn a thing about me to begin with! So _get out_ of here!"

She stopped poking in his chest and pointed at the door, glaring at him.

Takahiro stared at her, mouth hanging open and eyes wide… She had often expressed how annoyed she was by him – but he never thought she'd actually think he didn't care at all… It wasn't just his pride hurt. It was the feeling that he had never been here for her when he should have – this is what friends are for… but she was right. He had never been her friend except when he needed her.

"If… you knew I wasn't your friend and that I was using you for my own sake… then why did you never stop helping me out?" He asked in a low voice.

Stunned he'd actually talk back to her, Kiku stared at him before trying to find an answer.

"Because… as annoying as you are, and as much as you hurt me… you and I are the same – we want to be loved and we don't want to be left behind… Everything you did, you did so you could be loved – when I want the same thing, I can't blame you for that, right…?"

Takahiro stared at her – he knew she was stupidly kind and always helped out others to the point of being gullible… but he had never thought she actually knew him well enough to know _why_ he would discard her to begin with. To be loved.

"I… could you leave now…?" She asked in a broken voice, turning around to hide her tears.

Not having anything else to say because he had had his answers, he turned around and walked towards the door. He grabbed the doorknob but froze there, staring at his own hand and at the gesture of leaving her alone once again. He had always done that anyway… he always left her to cry on her own…

He glanced over his shoulders, realizing that as quiet as she was, her entire body was shaking from her sobs and the tears she desperately tried to hold back. She didn't cry because of her memories or the story she had told, she didn't cry because her secret had been revealed and she definitely didn't cry because of Hanamaki… She cried because she felt like the _one person_ she had cared for and had _cared for her_ like no one before had walked out of her life for good.

"Y'know… he's not our Ace because he's the most powerful spiker…"

Kiku stopped crying and turned around to stare at him in bewilderment that _Hanamaki Takahiro_ would say something to her that was close to comfort… almost as if he wanted to give her _hope_ …

"He's our Ace because he _never_ gives up – whether it's getting a point or on people… He's just like that."

Without adding anything else, he left, quiet tears rolling down her cheeks.

 _Oikawa apartment…_

With his parents gone for the rest of the day, Tooru had invited his girlfriend to come over and they were definitely enjoying their moments together. Hands brushing her sides and breasts covered solely by her bra, never ending sweet kisses, he and Marika were too ~ _busy~_ to hear the sound of doors opening and closing. Suddenly, the bedroom door opened and they both startled, looking up with blushed cheeks.

" _Mom!_ I can expl– Iwa-chan…?" He called, stunned to see his friend here and looking so distraught…

"Could you… get out, Iwaizumi-san?" Marika asked, trying to cover her chest even if Tooru was still mostly hiding her with his own body.

"Um, Iwa-chan, as refreshing as your presence might be… we're kinda busy and…"

His voice trailed off when the Ace's lips trembled and he quickly lifted up one arm over his eyes, wiping away tears. Immediately understanding that something must have happened, Tooru sat up, Marika following his lead.

"Sorry, Mari-chan, could you give us some time? I'll be back soon, promise," Tooru told her apologetically.

She stared at him, stunned he'd choose Iwaizumi over her but one glance in the Ace's direction and she understood that the only reason why he wasn't sobbing yet was her presence in the room. She put on her shirt then left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Iwa-chan, what happened?" Oikawa immediately asked, opening the window for some fresh air.

"K-Kiku…!"

And just before his eyes, for the first time in his life, _Iwaizumi Hajime,_ his childhood friend, the stubborn guy who had always held back his tears and sobs no matter how much he hurt, the resilient Ace… broke into sobs. Tooru swallowed hard, not knowing what to do – an Iwa-chan crying who tried to hold it back and was angry at himself, he knew. But an Hajime who was sobbing and crying his heart out, face in his hands and sitting down… he was _lost_ … He had never seen him like that and it was more shocking to see him in such a state than whatever reason he could have to cry.

"I-Iwa-chan…" He started, shaking himself out of his shock.

He went to his side and rubbed his back in comfort, but he knew he sucked at comforting his friend. He cried for a while then almost as suddenly as he had started, Hajime straightened his back and stopped crying, stubbornly sniffing and frowning at himself for breaking down so suddenly. Being handed a handkerchief, it took him a moment to be able to calm down completely and talk.

"What… happened…?" Oikawa asked hesitantly, scared of what had happened to Kiku.

"…I went to see Kiku, and… she told me the truth."

Tooru swallowed, lips pursed together. Hajime wasn't sure if he could share it with anyone when Kiku had had such a hard time trusting _him_ but… but he couldn't keep it to himself and the only person who could listen to him was Oikawa. He might be a goofy idiot at times, but he was trustful and he wouldn't share it with anyone else unless he had the authorization from Kiku herself. So he started telling him everything Kiku had told _him_. He didn't keep anything left – he even talked about their argument and what Shouta had told him at the end…

Now sitting against the wall, the two friends remained silent for a long moment, Oikawa taking in the weight of all these revelations…

"I-I had imagined lots of things but definitely not that… Kiku-chan seems so close to her parents, I had always thought they were a happy family. And what happened to her in this other family… it's _horrible…!"_

Only silence answered to his statement, Iwaizumi's way of agreeing a thousand times over with it. Finally, Oikawa turned towards him with thin lips:

"What are you going to do now?"

Hajime glanced up at him with wide eyes, not _knowing_ what to do or how to even _understand_ this question.

"I… I don't know… what _should_ I do?" Iwaizumi asked him, looking almost scared.

"Don't ask _me_ – it's _your_ Kiku-chan! You're the one she trusted with this! I can't take the decision for you!"

"S-she _didn't_ – she didn't _trust_ me! She had had many opportunities to share it with me but she never did! I had to confront her for the truth! If she never trusted me – and everything she said, what she really thinks of me and–"

"Iwaizumi."

The serious tone Oikawa had used, added to his full name, made Iwaizumi almost shiver in fear of what he would tell him next:

"You and I _both_ know that Kiku-chan _doesn't_ think that you're like everyone else or not special. If anything, you're the most special being in her life – what she said might have hurt you but, it wasn't what she really thinks of you, it's what she _fears_ you might be. We always knew Kiku-chan was shy and afraid of getting close to others but you broke through her walls softly, gently, with time. You became her friend, probably her _best friend_ and you… you are in love with each other… But with everything she went through… Kiku-chan has no other choice but to be cautious with others, after all, she's always been hurt… she opened up to you, little by little until she _trusted_ you. You might think it was too late, but it took time for her to trust you and… in the end, she _did_ trust you with her past – and you are the _only one_ she trusted about that…"

He paused then put his hand on his friend's shoulder:

"Instead of being angry because she didn't trust you before you fell head over heels for her and that the two of you became this… this sort of _unofficial couple_ … Be _glad_ she _trusted_ you at all. That of _all_ people in the _whole_ world, she chose _you_ to trust, not just with her story but with her _fears_ and _hopes_. She told you all of that hoping you _wouldn't_ leave her anyway and that you'd show her you are different from others and that you would hold onto her…"

"But… I left her…" Iwaizumi realized, looking down.

"And if you felt like it, it's fine. You don't have to force yourself to anything, Iwa-chan. Kiku doesn't want that for you."

Oikawa took a deep breath then continued:

"If you decide to stay by her sides, tell her so. But if you think you _can't_ handle it and would rather tell her she needs someone else than you… tell her too. In all cases, you should take your time thinking of what you'll do and as soon as you've taken your decision, share it with her. Even if it might be hard, do it as soon as you can."

"…Do you think I could protect her and take care of her well enough…?" Iwaizumi asked hesitantly, glancing up at his friend.

Tooru blinked, stunned by this question then laughed loudly. Hajime immediately frowned, crunching up his nose and pouting – if he weren't so down at the moment, he would have already punched him for laughing at him.

"Iwa-chan! You might act a bit rough around the edges, but your heart is softer than rabbit's fur! Softer than _my hair_ , even!"

"I'm going to punch you for that."

"Now, now… Kiku-chan too, she knew what she was getting herself into. And it might have started with a big crush on the strong Ace, but who she _fell_ for was the kind and soft-hearted guy behind the grumpy look…"

Oikawa put his arm around his shoulders with a smile, even if Iwaizumi continued pouting.

"She definitely likes you, and you definitely like her. And there's no way you would leave her when you feel so strongly for her, right? You're not the type of people to drop on people just because they had a bad story."

"…I still don't know what to do… I'm not… what if in the end it doesn't work out and she just can't… support me because I'm too… I'm not…?"

"Iwa-chan, you don't even know anymore what you're saying."

His shoulders dropped and he pouted even more, looking away but it was true. Amused, but a little saddened to see his friend so shaken up, Oikawa sighed and leaned against the wall, looking up at his ceiling covered in glow-in-the-dark stars.

"I'm not an expert on love, and once again, I can't decide for you, Iwa-chan… But just think about this burden Shouta-san mentioned. And think about how you feel when you're with Kiku-chan. Which is heavier? Your love for her or the burden that comes with her?"

Hajime slowly tuned towards him, eyes slightly widened. The green eyes shone, understanding and thankfulness for his friend's advice slowly filling them. The way it sparkled with this _little something_ that only people who felt True Love was enough for Tooru to smile reassuringly, knowing as well as Hajime what he would choose. Over and over again… it was in his eyes, it reflected the way his heart beat faster, stronger and the happiness he felt in Kiku's presence, overshadowing any sadness.

Hajime looked down at his hands, fingers fumbling a little nervously. Then he nodded, voice quiet. But he smiled, a little smile, but a smile anyway.

By the time Iwaizumi felt good enough to go home, Marika was long gone and the sun was setting down – though, Oikawa _might_ have forgotten about her until Iwaizumi mentioned it. Hajime's parents weren't here – which was reassuring because he didn't want to face anyone else at the moment. His mind was still foggy and confused about everything he had learned in so little time. He had always thought he understood Kiku better than anyone, that he _saw_ her but… he realized he had been wrong all along. He had considered several options – maybe an accident for her scars? Maybe this sort of traumatic event which explained why it was told she had spent a year in the hospital being followed by a psychologist? But… he hadn't expected that she was _adopted_ , that her family had just taken her in, partly out of pity. He didn't doubt Shouta and Nanami now loved her as their daughter, but it didn't change the fact that Kiku _never_ knew her _real parents_ – that they abandoned her at _birth_ to _die_. He wondered how she must really feel about it – knowing that from the moment she was born, people _rejected_ her. That family after family, over the years, she was _constantly rejected._ That even in Middle-school and high-school she was bullied… and yet… _and yet,_ she still found the heart to care for people, for abandoned animals, to smile and laugh and be happy even if _everyday_ , she is dragged down by sadness and hurt and constant pain…

Tears in his eyes once again, he rolled over on his side. His gaze rested on his night table and for a moment, he didn't notice anything. Then, he saw the little packet of cookies she had made for him (and the rest of the team) with a ribbon and his name written with her beautiful writing. More importantly, she had added something no one else had: _"Thank you"._ Joining Seijou's team might have been Kiku's choice but… she probably thought that if it weren't for Iwaizumi and Oikawa, she wouldn't be their manager. Part of it was true… after all, if he hadn't hit her with his bag on the first day, if he hadn't noticed her, if they hadn't had all these occasions and chances to spend time together… Kiku would still be alone. And he'd still be wondering when he'll fall in love once and for all. Everything they had gone through, all the smiles and the laughs and the easy conversations. Falling in love with Kiku was easy – she was so beautifully good and happy, she only waited to be loved… but for Kiku to feel the same for him… after everything she had gone through… every time they had spent time together, she must have felt her heart squeeze in fear and panic that she would fall in love with him and he'd never like her back – that he'd leave her at the end of the school year or even before. She fell in love with him even though she was scared. How brave she was.

Hajime's heart sped up a little and he sat up, going to his desk. He pushed away the various notebooks under which he had hidden his secret one. No one knew about it, not his parents and not even Oikawa. At the very least, Oikawa didn't know the _contents_ of it.

 _For all the words I can't say out loud…_

Back when he had found this black notebook with this sentence on it he had bought two of it. One for him and one for Kiku… He still remembered the day he had given it to her – what a mess it had been…

 _A few weeks ago, before practice…_

 _Kiku had just joined the team and she was getting used to their (constant) shenanigans. She was a good manager and because she knew volleyball and had always kept a close-eye on the team, she already knew all of their habits and some of their personalities._

 _At the end of the day of class, Kiku was already standing up, putting her books in her bag while Hajime glanced at her nervously. He grabbed his own bag and opened it, seeing the two notebooks he had bought a few days ago. He still hadn't had time to give the one for Kiku. Or rather… every time he had had an occasion, he had run away. He was too embarrassed. How did he even start the conversation with the intention of giving her a_ _ **gift**_ _when it wasn't her birthday? Perhaps he should wait and try to find out when–_ _ **no, no, no**_ _. He was running away_ _ **again**_ _, and it wasn't like him. He was the Ace, damn it!_

" _Akiya–"_

 _His voice trailed off when he noticed that she was gone already. Groaning, he let his head fall on top of his desk, cursing his embarrassment and hesitation that had ruined another one of his chance._

" _Iwaizumi-san!"_

 _He jumped up, turning around and noticing Kiku walking back to him, and taking her bag – he hadn't even noticed she had left it there._

" _If we don't go now, we'll be late at practice… Are you tired?" She asked curiously considering he had been resting his head on his desk._

" _AH, uhh, no! I'm fine! Let's go!" He exclaimed, stepping towards the door as she took her bag._

 _He glanced quickly at his bag then stopped in his steps, realizing that… there was no one left in their classroom. Everyone was gone – it was a golden opportunity to give her the notebook! He turned around so quickly, she bumped into his chest before taking a step back, both flushing at the proximity._

" _S-sorry…"_

" _Akiyama-san… I, uh… I… have… something to… to…"_

 _She looked up at him with sparkling, mesmerizing eyes – they looked like sapphires, she was so beautiful he was losing his mind. He swallowed hard, blushing terribly as he shot his hand through his bag and rummaged through it, feeling the smooth cover of the notebook under his fingertips, he pulled it out quickly and pushed it into her chest, forcing her to grab it._

" _For you! I… I saw it the other day and I thought… I-it's not for practice, b-but… maybe, if you need a notebook to… write… stuff…"_

 _He stopped stammering when he bit his tongue by accident, holding back a whine of pain as she looked down at the notebook. She took_ _in_ _the pretty appearance of the cover and the English words then a smile slowly appeared on her face. It made his heart miss a beat as she looked up at him, her eyes shining even more beautifully than before._

" _T-thank you! So much! I love it!" She exclaimed happily, almost bouncing up and down from how overjoyed she was to receive a gift from_ _ **Hajime!**_

 _He smiled giddily, glad that he had gone through this hardship_ _ **and**_ _made it out without getting a heart attack – and more importantly, that she was happy. Her happiness was so pure, it had to be protected._

 _Snickers resonated, breaking the two from staring at each other and they looked at the entrance, seeing the other third-years of the volleyball club, grinning teasingly._

" _Aaaw… and I was expecting a confession~! It's just a gift – what did he offer to you, Kiku-chan~?" Oikawa asked._

" _C-confe–!" Iwaizumi gasped, suddenly afraid that Kiku understood his feelings for her because of this_ _ **idiot of Tras**_ _ **h**_ _ **ykawa**_ _ruining it all…!_

 _Kiku startled and looked down, but she held the notebook close to her chest._

" _J-just a notebook… exactly the kind I like most…" She answered._

" _Is that_ _ **it?**_ _Why are you sparkling so much for just a_ _ **notebook?"**_ _Hanamaki asked, raising an eyebrow._

" _L-let's just go!" Kiku exclaimed, avoiding the topic because she knew teasing was coming._

 _She ran past them, leaving Iwaizumi to face the teasing alone. By the time they reached the changing-room, he had already screamed and almost punched them all – which had calmed them down, a little. Annoyed by them, Iwaizumi changed clothes, not noticing that he had left his bag open – and that Oikawa glanced at it. The nosy setter blinked then leaned down, pulling out a pretty black notebook –_ _ **not at all**_ _Iwa-chan's style_ _ **and**_ _the exact same he had offered Kiku-chan._

" _How cute~! You have matching notebooks~!" He couldn't help but tease._

 _Confused, Iwaizumi looked up then his face broke into the most offended expression – he couldn't believe his friend had_ _ **actually**_ _taken something from his bag without asking and_ _ **worst of all**_ _, was_ _ **opening**_ _it!_

" _Oi, oi, OI!" He shouted, trying to reach the notebook before he could read what he had written inside._

 _Oikawa swiftly avoided him, raising the notebook out of his reach._

" _Don't be so frightened, Iwa-chan! There isn't even anything written! What will you use it for?" He asked._

" _Don't– wait, what?"_

 _Iwaizumi grabbed the notebook and opened it, seeing nothing but blank pages. His friends stared at him as he paled a little. He closed and opened the notebook several times – as if it would make the words appear once again… then he hissed and dropped the notebook on the floor._

" _N-no…!" He gasped._

" _What is it?" Makki asked curiously._

" _I gave her the wrong one!" He exclaimed, shaking his hair furiously._

 _His friends and teammates glanced at each other in confusion._

" _It's the exact same, isn't it – what's the problem?" Makki asked._

" _N-no, no, no! I wrote stuff in the other one! It's mine!"_

" _What sort of stuff?" Mattsun asked._

 _Iwaizumi blushed and covered his face with his hands, shaking his head. He couldn't tell his friends he had used this notebook to write everything he had noticed about Kiku. The entire list he had started writing in his head, plus everything he had noticed in-between… and some moments they had spent together… and sweet words that would probably make Hanamaki sick. Basically, his_ _ **feelings**_ _for Kiku!_

" _I'm never seeing her again, that's it." He whispered, ignoring his friend's question, though they had a pretty good idea of what was in this notebook._

" _Calm down, Iwa-chan~! It can't be that terrible – she hasn't read it yet, right? You can still get it back!"_

" _How?" He asked, looking up._

" _We still have about fifteen minutes before practice starts, Kiku-chan always arrives before us – which means she already left the changing-room. With luck, she hasn't read it yet considering she thinks it's blank. We just need to sneak into the changing-room, get to her bag then get it back and you replace it with the one at your feet. Easy~!"_

" _We can't_ _ **enter**_ _the girls' changing-room!" Iwaizumi exclaimed with wide eyes._

" _Why not?" Makki asked._

" _It's the GIRLS' changing-room!"_

"… _And?" He continued, raising an eyebrow._

 _Iwaizumi was about to give him an entire speech about how_ _ **males**_ _were not allowed in_ _ **females**_ _' changing-rooms (not that his friends cared much) but Matsukawa spoke up:_

" _More importantly,_ _ **how**_ _do you want to get in? We don't have the key and only a few rare girls or coaches have it." He remarked._

" _Kiku-chan changes in the changing-room reserved for physical education, the windows are big and easy to open even from outside. We help you slip in, you find her bag and no one has noticed a thing~ Your naughty little secrets are safe from her pure and innocent soul~!" Oikawa answered proudly, hands on his hips._

" _Take away the 'naughty' – and how do you know if it's easy to open from the outside?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, staring accusingly at his friends._

" _You mean… you've never entered the girls' changing-room before?" Hanamaki asked with big eyes, "We all did, I have a few videos of these hot girls in class two–"_

" _It's_ _ **forbidden!**_ _If you're caught, you'll get in trouble! If_ _ **I**_ _get caught,_ _ **I'll**_ _get in trouble!"_

" _Considering the amount of times girls_ _ **were**_ _the ones to bring their boyfriends in, I doubt anyone cares anymore about how many boys might get in," Yahaba commented from behind._

 _The look of utter shock on Iwaizumi's face was priceless._

"… _In some way, it's admirable that you're so pure-minded, Iwa-chan."_

" _You've totally wasted your high-school years, I feel bad for you…" Hanamaki commented, shaking slightly his head._

" _Are you going to help me out or not?!" Iwaizumi shouted, flushing in embarrassment._

" _Of course, we will~!"_

" _Why do you look so happy? I don't trust that plan of yours."_

 _Nevertheless, a few minutes later, Iwaizumi was still standing behind the girls' changing-room, glancing around nervously to make sure no one would catch them._

" _Stop looking like a frightened rabbit – it's fine!" Hanamaki exclaimed._

" _I-I don't think we should…"_

" _Just get on with it, or we'll be late for practice." Matsukawa said, leaning down with his hands joined together._

 _Iwaizumi hesitated before putting his foot on it and was raised high enough to reach the window up the wall. Following Oikawa's instruction, he pushed it open and glanced inside._

" _Even with my help you're too short to see clearly?" Mattsun asked, jaw tight because the Ace, as short as he was, was heavy – a real pack of muscles._

" _I don't want to be seen if there's anyone inside…!" He muttered, glaring down at the middle-blocker._

 _Mattsun rolled his eyes and lifted him up by force to get rid of his weight on his arms. Iwaizumi gasped and almost hit his head on top of the window if he hadn't had the sense to sneak his bust in time – there was no girl or anyone around, so he started pulling himself inside. But even with the window being big enough, he had to push his feet against the wall, trying to get in but the window was hitting his ribs._

 _The three others watched him struggling, his feet hitting the wall while he couldn't actually get in past his hips._

" _Why didn't we use the old chair hidden in the bushes?" Hanamaki asked Oikawa in a low voice._

" _Because it's funnier like that," he answered, snorting at the view of Iwaizumi's struggling butt and his legs moving around._

 _He snorted back and, desperate to get him in, Matsukawa grabbed Iwaizumi's ankles and pushed him in. They heard a shout, cut by a scream then the_ _heavy_ _sound_ _of_ _his body hit_ _ting_ _the floor._

" _You're okay, Iwaizumi?" Mattsun asked loudly as they heard a low moan._

"… _No! I'm not! As soon as I'm back, I'll punch you for pushing me in without warning!"_

" _I assumed that grabbing your ankles was enough of a warning."_

 _Iwaizumi grumbled something – probably some insults – but they couldn't hear him._

" _Just go get her bag and switch the notebook before someone comes in!" Hanamaki exclaimed._

 _In-between Oikawa had gotten the chair and climbed it up until he could see inside. Hanamaki and Matsukawa joined him, all three struggling to keep their balance on the chair but managing to look at the show. Iwaizumi hadn't noticed them, massaging his hip as he walked around carefully – he kept glancing to make sure he wouldn't be caught. But then, he realized something: there were lockers. Which meant he'd have to look through_ _ **every single one of them**_ _until he'd find Kiku's bag. Knowing that there weren't that many girls coming to this changing-room at such an hour, he quickly moved towards the closest lockers, opening them one by one. As soon as he was sure it wasn't Kiku's or that it was empty, he'd close it. He swore under his breath when some girl's notebook fell at his feet – with lots of pictures. Of Oikawa. He wouldn't have cared if some weren't photoshopped – a fully naked body with Oikawa's head added. He growled, closing his eyes from how disgusting it was to see his friend turned into some girl's phantasm. He quickly pushed the pictures back in the notebook and put it in the locker, deciding to forget this awful memory from his head. He continued exploring the lockers. Finally, there was a bag that made him stop – more importantly there was a little charm hanging from the bag: a pink bird. Kiku's!_

" _Yes…!" He hissed to himself with a victorious grin, opening her bag._

 _He immediately saw the notebook, he put the right one in that had miraculously not get damaged with his struggle through the window. He quickly opened_ _ **his**_ _notebook and thanked the gods what he had written was in. He just prayed that Kiku hadn't opened and seen it._

" _It's done?" Oikawa called from the window._

" _Yea– what the fuck are you doing up here? How did you–"_

 _Before he could finish, the door started opening. Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa immediately dived behind the wall, unseen, while Iwaizumi ran behind the lockers. He fell forward and rolled around, sitting against the lockers and praying he hadn't been seen but considering there was no scream from the girls, he hadn't been. He looked up and froze, realizing there was a mirror in front of him, a little on the right – giving him a full view of what was happening in the changing-room._

 _ **Oh no, fuck**_ _… He thought, closing his eyes and covering them with the notebook._ _ **Why are there girls suddenly changing in here? Granted, it IS a girl's changing-room – but WHY?**_

 _From the window, Hanamaki couldn't help but chuckle and take in the view as well._

" _Looks like he's catching up all three years he wasted staying out of the girls' changing-room. What a lucky bastard – why does it never happen to me?"_

" _You're watching them, aren't you?"_

" _Not as closely as Iwaizumi, though."_

 _While the girls chatted, and chatted, and kept taking their sweet time changing, Iwaizumi had to fight to not glance quickly (he was a teenager, after all). When, finally, they all moved out of the room, he sighed in relief. He glanced in the mirror to make sure there wasn't anyone. He was about to stand up and get away when the door opened yet again. He fell back in his previous position, his back hitting the locker. He glanced in the mirror in panic, the girl who had just entered glancing suspiciously in his direction even if she couldn't see him. Worse, he almost had a heart attack when he recognized the girl: Kiku. She was still wearing her uniform – why hadn't she changed yet?_

 _He had to hold back from hitting himself with the notebook – she had mentioned having to go see the teacher today, she might have forgotten and remembered just before changing._

 _ **Damn it. Why. Why. WHY?**_

 _He suddenly looked up when he heard the sound of clothes being pulled off and falling on the floor. For a short moment he imagined_ _ **he**_ _was the one taking off her clothes and he couldn't help but glance in the mirror. As soon as he saw she was in just her underwear, he covered his face once again. Hearing suspicious sounds, he looked up and saw his three idiots tapping at the window and giving him thumbs up with the silliest smiles he had ever seen on their faces. He gave them big signs, waving at them to get away before Kiku might notice them but they only seemed to enjoy it even more. If only he had a ball to throw at their faces. Finally, he heard the sound of the locker door being closed and a minute later, Kiku was leaving. He sighed in relief, almost dying where he was before remembering that he needed to hurry to get to practice. He went back towards the window and lifted up his hands, realizing he was too short to reach it._

" _You're a volleyball player or not? Jump!" Hanamaki exclaimed._

" _Hold on a minute!" He exclaimed back, bending down to jump._

 _He jumped up just as the door opened again, ruining his momentum._

" _Fuck…!" He swore, realizing he was hanging from the window and that he might fall any moment if he let go – and be noticed by whoever had entered._

 _His friends grabbed his forearms, pulling him through the window even though they all struggled._

" _It's Kiku again, she forgot something!" Mattsun remarked, watching from the window._

" _Let's drop him back in, it'll make them interact," Makki proposed._

" _Don't let go, don't let go, don't let go you asshole!" Iwaizumi threatened in a low voice._

 _Kiku was already leaving, not having noticed anything. Iwaizumi pushed on his feet while the others pulled – but they all fell backwards and onto the grass with screams._

"… _You had a fucking chair… and you didn't tell me… that was fun for you, wasn't it…?" Iwaizumi grumbled, starting to stand up._

" _Yeah, but you wasted golden opportunities. Again." Hanamaki answered._

 _Iwaizumi frowned and punched him in the ribs, making him fall back on the grass, the two other idiots received punches too._

" _You have it, right?" Oikawa asked._

 _Iwaizumi lifted up his notebook, a sigh of relief escaping his lips._

" _Practice! We're gonna be late!" Mattsun suddenly exclaimed._

 _They all got up and ran back to the gymnasium – and with a stop at their changing-room so that Iwaizumi could put his notebook in his bag._

" _Where were you?" Kiku asked when they arrived._

" _Uuuuh…"_

" _Admiring your–"_

 _Iwaizumi elbowed Hanamaki before he could finish his sentence, sending him into a violent fit of coughs._

" _W-we were admiring your… your… good deeds." He answered awkwardly._

 _She seemed a little confused and he quickly added:_

" _Birds. Your good deeds… concerning birds… taking them in and… being good. To them."_

" _Being good to us for the show y'mean…" Hanamaki mumbled, Mattsun and Oikawa pushing him behind them._

 _Kiku stared at them, concluded it was another one of their shenanigans. She smiled with a nod then walked away. Iwaizumi sighed in relief before glancing over his shoulders, glaring at his friends who had left him to take care of it all on his own. Mostly at Hanamaki for making it worse._

" _Good deeds? Her good deeds? That's all you could come up with after watching her strip off her clothes, seriously?" Oikawa asked with a shake of his head._

" _I didn't! I didn't actually look!" He exclaimed before walking away with a frown, "Because I was too busy trying to get you to look away, damn it…" He added in a low voice._

" _What was thaaaat~? Kiku-chan, wanna hear something interesting~?"_

" _OI! DUMBASS!"_

Hajime couldn't help but smile, opening his notebook and reading one by one every single sentence. Everything was something he had noticed about Kiku, something he had lived with Kiku, something _about_ Kiku. It was all about his feelings for her. By the time he reached the last page he had written on, he had laughed at the memories and his smile was so big it hurt his cheeks…

How could he even hesitate? Kiku… ever since she had entered his life, everyday was brighter. Every moment by her side was happier. She might have had a terrible life, and would struggle for the rest of her days with the burden that her past brought upon her… but he was willing to take her hand and move forward. As long as they were _together_. He wouldn't leave her. _Ever_. No matter what their relationship turned out to be in the end.

This notebook held everything that had made him fall in love with Kiku – but there was _one thing_ that hadn't been written yet.

" _Which is heavier? Your love for her or the burden that comes with her?"_

Hajime took a pen and added something he wrote down. He didn't need to say much, but everything he needed to say was in three little words on a page in a notebook he had bought thinking of her.

 _I love her._

BONUS

 _[Hanamaki's thoughts on his way back to his house after he had talked with Kiku…]_

 _I don't get her kindness._ He thought to himself, hands in his pockets and looking down.

They had met just before they entered Middle-school when his family moved in here. Because Kiku was the only child around his age in the neighborhood and for some reason he never quite understood, she stuck to him – she might have taken pity because he had left all of his friends and didn't know anyone. Or perhaps she was just being kind. He spent an awful lot of time with her, in the Akiyama garden – she taught him how to receive and spike in volleyball and after some time, her uncle taught them both. He liked the sports and decided to continue in middle-school.

He wasn't _shy_ back then, but he didn't feel as confident as he was now – he was still a child who didn't know the neighborhood except for one awkward and shy girl. Everyone already knew each other at Middle-school and they both ended up being the awkward ones left on a side. It was only after he joined the volleyball team and he got better and better that he spent more time with his new friends than Kiku. They barely spent time together anymore and rumors started to spread about Kiku.

"Why are you hanging out with Akiyama? She's so weird and I've heard she's mad, something wrong in he brain and she went to the hospital." One of his best friends from back then told him.

Takahiro blinked, he had never heard of that – but she _had_ been in the hospital which was why, being a year older than him, they had entered Middle-school in the same time.

"I don't know, she never said anything. She's…"

 _She's kind and she's not mad or anything_ … Was what he wanted to say.

"She's just my neighbor." He said instead, his hear squeezing a little.

"Ah? Is that so? I'm reassured, I was scared you might be as crazy as her!"

Takahiro laughed in the same time, even if it didn't sound natural and after that, as bad as he felt, he tried to avoid being seen with Kiku. He didn't want his new friends to think he was crazy or weird for hanging out with her. He had been alone before he met Kiku, he didn't want to be left behind by his new friends from the volleyball team – and they all thought it was weird for a boy and a girl to be friends. They'd start imagining things.

"Taka-chan!"

He glanced over his shoulder but when he saw Kiku trying to talk to him, and when he felt the way his friends stared at him accusingly, he couldn't bear to stop and get teased after… If they thought he was actually friend with her… they'd stop hanging out with him. He'd be all alone and it'd be Kiku's fault for being so weird to begin with… Or so he liked to pretend as he turned away from her and followed his friends, ignoring her calls.

After his second-year, he started growing up and his height and his skills on the volleyball club gave him the title of Ace – the Ace of the volleyball club had a reputation to hold. He had more and more friends. Girls seemed to like him. He couldn't be seen with the black sheep Akiyama Kiku. He kept trying to find excuses to explain _why_ he had no reason to be seen with her – they didn't have the same tastes in stuff, anyway. She was plain and boring. He never really enjoyed her company anyway. She was just his neighbor. He wanted to be loved and it wouldn't be possible if she was around. He had a reputation to hold up.

Kiku seemed to understand without a word and she kept her distance until they didn't glance at each other when walking through the same halls. It almost felt like they were ignoring each other. But as soon as Takahiro needed some help with his homework, he just needed to go ask the Akiyama to ask their daughter – they were always glad when Kiku's friend came over. He even got free patisserie this way. Kiku never told him no, she always helped him out. She never mentioned the way he was avoiding and ignoring her the rest of the time. When she wasn't of any use for him.

"By the way, Takahiro," his mother spoke up a few days before high-school during dinner, "I told Akiyama-san you'd accompany Kiku-chan for high-school – in the morning and afternoon."

" _What?!"_ He exclaimed, putting down his bowl of rice, offended his mother had taken such a decision without asking him first.

She blinked at him, stunned by his reaction.

"What's the problem? You're friends, aren't you? She's a pretty young girl now, she might get in danger."

"Pretty, sure…" He snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Taka-nii doesn't want to be seen with her, because she's weird," his little sister piped up.

"OI! Shut it!"

"Takahiro, what's this story? I hope you're not letting stupid rumors uselessly hurt Kiku." His mother scolded, narrowing her eyes.

"N-no, of course not… b-but I'll have practice and–"

"Kiku-chan will start a club too in high-school so you'll start and finish at the same hour."

Not having any excuse to avoid being seen with her, he finally agreed to it – but mostly because he had no choice and he couldn't let his mother discover he had been avoiding Kiku for almost three years. Their parents still believed they were good friends. He didn't want them to find out he basically was an asshole.

On the first day to high-school, both their parents watched them go together, Kiku remaining quiet during the entirety of the way to the bus stop. They climbed in and Kiku sat down, watching as Takahiro went to another seat. She was about to follow him when he stopped her:

"Oi, I agreed to accompany you to school, not to babysit you. You don't need to sit with me." He mumbled.

She was hurt – he could see it in her eyes, but he looked away from her, from her hurt and from his guilt. She sat back at the seat, glancing in his direction often to make sure he wouldn't go down without her. Unfortunately, she had figured him out because he stepped off the bus one stop before the one for Aoba Jousai. Kiku ran after him, jumping down the bus and following him as he growled, hands in his pockets.

"W-wait! It wasn't the right bus stop!" She exclaimed, catching up with him and showing the paper her uncle had given her with the indications.

"Then why did you follow me?"

"I… o-our parents said we should go together – I can't leave you alone and–"

"I don't need you to babysit me. I can go to high-school on my own." He replied.

She was hurt again but he kept his eyes stubbornly turned to the road. She followed him, almost running to keep up with his long legs. She remained silent, except her light panting – he would have almost felt guilty but they needed to hurry to be on time (even if it was his fault for going down the bus before the right stop). Kiku suddenly grabbed his sleeve, forcing him to a stop.

"OI! Don't grab me like that!" He shouted, snatching up his arm away from her.

She startled and stepped away just as a car came by full speed – if she hadn't stopped him, he would have been hit… He swallowed hard and lowered his arm, but he was too proud to thank her…

When had they become so distant? He knew it was his own fault but… he almost wanted to blame Kiku – just to sleep easier and not have to deal with the guilt. He was an asshole, after all. Assholes didn't bother themselves with guilt.

Just as they started noticing students wearing their uniforms, it was Takahiro's turn to stop her.

"Listen, we don't know each other. You don't know me, I don't know you, if asked, we're neighbors but we never talk. Don't talk to me or even look at me, okay? I don't want your weird rumors falling on _me_ in high-school." He said, glaring at her to keep her from doing anything against his will.

She stared up at him sadly, lips trembling before she lowered her head and nodded silently.

"Stay here and wait for me to enter the gates before continuing your way. I don't want to be seen with you at all." He muttered, already leaving her.

He glanced over his shoulder a few times, but she remained leaning against the wall, looking at her feet and waiting for him to enter the high-school gates. He sighed in relief when he didn't have her in sight anymore – less guilt to deal with. He might have waited under a tree, pretending to read some indications to see her come in, sighing in relief to know she had come despite it all. She walked shyly, awkwardly, clutching her own arm and bag. He walked with his head held high, confident steps taking him forward. They were totally different. They couldn't be seen together.

Kiku followed his instruction and even if he was aware of her being the Ghost of Flowers, she remained a total ghost. No one took notice of her, no one seemed to even know about her. There were some nasty rumors that had managed to follow her though: being mad because of her time in the hospital. But Hanamaki never had to deal with it. He knew she was being bullied but she never told him or anyone anything, and he never found out who was bullying her. Not that he was looking for this person. Not at all.

"Akiyama!"

She turned around, not believing that _Hanamaki Takahiro_ had called her name. Even if they were in front of their houses and not in school, he barely acknowledged her anymore and he was already on the line-up of the volleyball team – he had his reputation to save and wouldn't risk it for the likes of her… so what did he want?

"I already gave your mother the notes for the other day's classes. And I didn't tell her you skipped, I just said you had fallen asleep because of practice…" She immediately said when he arrived to her level, thinking she had done something wrong.

"Ah, yeah, I know, thanks for that! I just wanted to ask you something." He continued.

She narrowed her eyes but he continued with the smile he reserved for convincing people – and especially teachers – that he was an innocent lad.

"Could you cover for me tomorrow? My girlfriend comes over, she and I might… _y'know_. And I don't want my mother to find out."

But Kiku knew him better than teachers. For a moment he thought he had seen anger in her eyes but as quickly as it had appeared there was… was it _pity?_ He swallowed hard, feeling judged and guilty. He thought she would refuse to help him out this time but she looked away sadly and shrugged.

"What do you want me to do?"

He grinned and gave her the instructions. The following day, she did as he had asked her. Like always. And she covered for him, whether it was missed classes or his girlfriends coming over, still helping him with his homework. He never did anything in exchange, not really, but she never really asked for anything so, he didn't have to do anything. Right? She was so stupidly kind, it was so easy to take advantage of her – she wanted so badly to get along with people and to please them that she didn't know how to say no to anything or anyone! She was so gullible, it only served others and never her!

For all three years of high-school, it was the same thing. Pretending she was a ghost he didn't see at school, ignoring each other, but Kiku always helping him out when he needed without ever asking for anything in return.

 _I don't get her kindness_. Takahiro thought again as he climbed up the stairs to his bedroom, trying not to connect the dots with what he had learned. She was _adopted_. _Even adopted, why did you never ask for anything in return? Why did you always help me out, damn it?_

" _You and I are the same – we want to be loved and we don't want to be left behind… Everything you did, you did so you could be loved – when I want the same thing, I can't blame you for that."_ She had told him just a few minutes ago.

 _We're not the same. I want to be loved because it makes me feel good and powerful. You want to be loved… because you never had anyone to love you._ He thought to himself, pushing open the door.

He looked up and saw his girlfriend, or rather, the last girl with whom he had sex more than three times. They weren't exactly dating – more like sex buddies but it was the second time she was in his bedroom. Which was more than average. They had been about to get going when he had noticed Iwaizumi in Kiku's room – and he had seen the Ace go away, following him to figure out what had happened.

"So, what happened?" She asked without looking up from her phone.

"…Just stuff… I'm not feeling very good, we should cancel what we had planned." He said, letting himself fall on his bed.

She looked up at him and seemed to understand that something must have happened because he looked down. And Hanamaki _never_ said no to sex.

"Y'know… I don't come over with you just to have sex with you." She said, putting down her phone.

He glanced up at her, surprised that she actually seemed to care about how he felt – usually his girls were with him just to say they had had sex with one of the stars of the school. If they couldn't get Oikawa or Iwaizumi, he was the third most valuable option and he definitely embraced the opportunity.

"You want to talk about it?" She asked softly, a little awkwardly, raising an eyebrow.

"…No. I'm just an asshole." He muttered against his pillow, blinking, stunned because she had asked him if he wanted to open up.

She almost smiled, she almost looked amused by his misplaced humor to cover up his hurt.

"I saw you have some videos games, wanna play?" She asked instead.

He sat up, raising an eyebrow:

"You play video games? But… you're a _girl_." He said, blinking in disbelief.

"You think girls _can't_ play video games? So _cliché_. Get your butt here, Mister Asshole, and let me beat your highest score." She said, pulling at his arm to force him towards the edge of the bed.

He stared at her as she prepared everything, looking at his video games and even letting him pick his best game with his best score. He never understood Kiku's kindness but he supposed kindness came in different forms. He was an asshole, and at the moment, he felt like shit… but he _might_ have smiled, a little thankful, to another gesture of kindness from another girl.

 _I don't get these girls' kindness, seriously…_ He thought to himself.

 _[PS: she beat his higher score. Three times over.]_

* * *

 _I'm not very satisfied with this chapter, the flashback took so much longer than I initially thought and it ended up ebing a big chapter. But I'm glad of what I've done with Makki._

 _I've stated writing the next arc and I think you'll like, considering what you've been expeceting to happen since starting to read this fanfiction will happen~! ;)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : WHEN THE LONELINESS IS GONE..._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	34. When the Loneliness is Gone…

_Here is the new chpter! :D_

 _ **deadlywhisper21** : Most people found the part with Makki annoying, or sad, but you found it fun. As long as everyone is pleased! XD Don't worry, things will accelerate soon! ;)_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Makki avrà un bello character development. Era un dick, ma ha sempre guardato KIku con la distanza: l'ha aiutato quando prepotenti facere troppo, ma Kiku mai ha notato. Sento un po colpevola per Marika, perché ovviamente Tooru non l'ama e i suoi amici, specialmente Iwa-chan, eranno primo da lei._

 _ **starrat** : At this point of the story, Oikawa doesn't like anyone. He has a gilrfriend, but doesn't like her the way Hajime likes Kiku. He does have a girl in sight, though! ;)_

 _ **Krisia** : You said everything there was to say, with perfect words. I couldn't have said it any better. Especially for Hajime: being trusted his whole life by classmates, as an Ace etc. isn't trusted by the girl he loves... I hadn't even noticed he might feel like betrayed because of the trust everyone has always put in him but your interpretation is PERFECT! :D_

 _ **forevertrash97** : Thank you, I hope you'll love what happens next! ;)_

 _ **Aquafin** : It's my job as writer to make you feel emotional and make you laugh, so I'm happy! :3_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Makki IS a dick but he's going to have a great character development after that! ;) I hope ti won't darken his character from the canon, though..._

 _ **laseralligator** : AHha, don't worry, I'll try not to update both in the same tiem anymre! ;) Don't worry,a hug is coming! :D I'll try for Yuuna to find love too, but it'll depend on how it'll turn out later on. Kiku WILL have her badass moments with the volleyball club, of course! ;) As for the update schedule of QV, it's every 3 days at the condition I wrote another chapter to keep my advance. In case no new chapter wirtten, it's updated as soon as possible! :) _

_**Oikawa's knee :** Kyouken-chan will appear soon! :D I think I'll make him go back to the team during the summer training camp! :) And as for the relationship wth Kiku and Iwaizumi, I'll let you discover it in time! ;) _

_**Fairytaildoll** : I hope the story I wrote would expand people's awareness on the situation of foster families and children, unless you've lived through sucha thing, or knows someone who did, it's not usually something people talk about._

 _ **Houshikun001** : Makki will evovle, he won't be like that aymore with Kiku! :) And even if he did take advantage of her kindness and wasn't her friend, it wasn't like he abandoned her completely: he watched over her from afar, making sure the bullies would eventually stop when they went too far, or helping her out when she didn't notice. Confession! Confession! :D Me too, I'm looking forward to it! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXXIV : When the Loneliness is Gone…

" _She wears it so beautifully doesn't she, her pain… Always smiling, always positive… Always happy to help… It's like a garment perfectly tailored to fit the way she carries it… with a touch of grace… and the quietness of that sad smile… All so you'd never know how heavy it really was."_

― **Ranata Suzuki**

" _Survivors of trauma may have difficulty initiating relationships…"_

― **Asa Don Brown, The effects of childhood trauma on adult perception and worldview**

" _When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable."_

― **Jess C. Scott, The Intern**

" _Love says: I've seen the ugly parts of you, and I'm staying."_

— **Matt Chandler**

" _You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept."_

— **Junot Díaz, This is How You Lose Her**

" _Meanwhile she waits, heart heavy in her hands, wondering if he'll shatter it in to a million pieces or place it gently back inside her frail chest…"_

— **Unknown**

" _There is nothing sweeter in this sad world than the sound of someone you love calling your name."_

— **Kate DiCamillo, The Tale of Despereaux**

" _I need someone who knows how to stay."_

— **Warsan Shire**

" _It was probably nothing but it felt like the world."_

— **Morrissey, Autobiography.**

" _I hope you find the kind of love where a single touch can calm your tormented soul."_

— **Nikita Gill**

" _You don't give up on someone you love."_

— **Unknown**

" _Happiness is holding someone in your arms and knowing you hold the whole world."_

— **Orhan Pamuk, Snow**

Hajime stared at the police station, waiting outside. Last night, he had fallen asleep before his parents came home and they let him sleep for some unknown reason. Perhaps they could tell he needed his sleep. He actually dreamt of Kiku – not for the first time, but it was still embarrassing considering that officially they were still just friends. Needing a run to clear his mind, half-way through it, he changed his course and arrived in front of his father's job.

Before he could go and tell Kiku he wouldn't leave her despite everything he had learned, there was one thing he needed to make clear.

He entered the office, seeing a policeman at the entrance who recognized him and gave him the authorization to go into his father's office.

"I think your father is in the archives but I'll tell him you're here to see him," he said as he left the high-schooler.

Hajime nodded with a polite smile but dropped it as soon as he was alone, turning towards the little office. It wasn't the first time he was coming to visit his father at his job, but it was always a little embarrassing – lately he was mostly dropping his lunch or dinner at the entrance when he stayed longer than planned without actually talking to his father.

He walked closer to the office and, getting a little bored, he dropped in his father's seat, staring at the pictures put on his desk. There was a picture of his parents young, some pictures of him when he was younger. There was even a picture with Oikawa when they were children. They really did spend most of their lives together…

But this time, instead of looking at the pictures with the feeling of melancholy tugging at his heart and leaving a smile on his face, Hajime couldn't help but think of Kiku. She didn't have a family, parents, or pictures like that… She didn't have any good memory to look back on from her childhood. Did she miss it? The feeling of a family, the happiness that comes with it no matter what. Could you miss something you never had to begin with? Or was it just sad envy?

"Hajime! I didn't expect you today!"

He looked up, his father coming in with brown files under his arm. They exchanged their places, the police officer taking his place behind a desk and Hajime sitting in front of him. Even though he had nothing to be guilty of, he almost felt like a criminal – sitting here in front of a serious, impressive man wearing the suit of justice.

Well, as far as justice went at least. Kiku didn't get justice in time and she ended up broken because of that. Hajime knew his father wasn't to blame, or anyone who didn't notice in time what was being done to her but… ever since he was little he had always admired his father for working so hard, fighting crime. Even if most of the time he only took care of little criminals and little nothings, sometimes even just helping out old people crossing the street or watching a road with nothing happening while eating donuts… he had always been his hero. When he was little, Hajime always said he wanted to become like his father when he'll be older – a superhero stopping criminals. Takashi never stopped his dreams, but he never encouraged it either. Now that Hajime thought back on it, Takashi might have been relieved when his son decided the path of a pro volleyball career. He probably didn't want his son to see the terrible things _he_ had seen – seeing the sort of things that had happened to Kiku, probably things way worse… Hajime wondered for a moment just what exactly his father had seen, how many broken people he had had to face. Now that he knew about what had happened to Kiku, it seemed to have opened his eyes. The system of nowadays' society – especially when it comes to fairness and justice – was cracked. It was rotten so deep it was making the fight useless… How did his father find the strength to keep working so hard to fight against a system that was broken?

"Is there anything you wanted to talk to me about?" Takashi asked, staring at his son with an intense gaze.

Father and son stared at each other for a while. The last time they had been in the same room they had argued– _fought_ and Hajime had pushed him against a wall, screaming at him. Because of Kiku. Because back then, Hajime didn't know _how_ his father could know Kiku and why she had reacted in such a way to meeting him. They both knew what Hajime was doing here, what he wanted to talk about but Takashi gave him the time to start the topic himself.

Suddenly, he wasn't quite sure what to say… Should he apologize first for his behavior last time? Should he ask his questions or talk about Kiku?

"I wanted to apologize for what I did the other day. I shouldn't have screamed at you, and I shouldn't have pushed you like that." He started, lowering his gaze to get rid of this particular topic as soon as possible.

He _did_ feel guilty about it all, but he didn't regret his gestures, he felt like his actions were justified ( _overreacted_ , on the edge of _dangerous_ , but justified) – his father shouldn't have kept such mystery even if Hajime understood _why_ he'd keep the secret.

Takashi sighed, lowering his gaze before shaking his head.

"It's fine, you were confused because of your girlfriend, it's normal."

"S-she's not… my g-girlf…"

His voice and stammer trailed off, a blush creeping up his cheeks as Takashi continued calmly:

"I was surprised – you had never acted like that with me but I suppose that love makes fools out of all of us. And you probably had a good reason to act this way – I hadn't expected you to show up at the Akiyama, and especially not Kiku to react the way she did."

Hajime looked down, not quite knowing what to do or say but his father knew better, smiling a little sadly:

"But you're not here to apologize, right? You have something else to tell me, and it concerns Kiku."

Hajime could have been embarrassed to be read so easily, but his father had always been like that.

"…She told me… _everything_." He said, Takashi not showing anything but feeling a little better that there was no more secret between his son and his not-girlfriend, "I get why you didn't tell me the truth… but I still don't get why… she'd react the way she did when she saw you, or why… you said such stuff." Hajime finished, voice a little hurt as he thought back on what his father had said.

" _You should forget about her. Kiku isn't someone for you."_

"Look, Hajime…" Takashi started, "I get that you fell in love without knowing the truth, but… Kiku isn't someone… it's not going to be easy, dating her. If she told you everything, you know her fears and what she went through – it's not something you come back from unscathed and she'll have to carry these fears and trauma her _whole_ life. It's a terrible thing to go through, but it can be even worse for the people around."

Hajime looked up, something wild passing in his eyes, almost close to anger, but he didn't say a thing and remained calm as Takashi continued:

"When I heard the name 'Akiyama Kiku', I didn't want to believe it was the same little girl I had found years ago – so I checked. And turns out, it was exactly the same girl. I don't want you to have any illusion that with Kiku you'll have a good and happy relationship, however long it might last. It's going to hurt you both in the end and even if she's used to being left, _you_ are not – you'll be the one who'll hurt most and I don't want that for you."

"But… but… you're talking about it as if we're doomed to not work out!" Hajime exclaimed, "We aren't even dating yet, why do you already condemn us to… to hurt and breaking up or whatever?"

"Because you're still in high-school, you'll fall in love times and times again but if you get attached to this girl too much, you won't get back from it unhurt. I just want to protect you, Hajime."

"And who protects Kiku?" He replied with a hard voice.

Takashi remained silent, staring at his son as he moved forward, frowning lightly:

"You? The adoption system? Her adoptive parents who took her in because they had lost their child and had nothing better to do? All of these people are the _reasons_ why she's been so hurt! I refuse to leave her like everyone else to face the world alone!"

His father sighed before answering:

"You're saying that because you have a crush on her but you'll eventually fall out of love. You think it's some epic love story because of what she's been through and you're her knight in shining armor but reality is different–"

"I don't care how different it is! I want to be with her!" He exclaimed, voice rising a little.

"And you're blinded by your feelings, Hajime!"

His son rolled his eyes, falling against the seat while Takashi continued:

"You saw how she reacted when she recognized me – the moment the memories flew back in, she closed off and was silent, and she didn't care about you! The slightest thing could trigger her memory and a break-down anytime! I've had to deal with hurt people all my life and I know what I'm talking about! She's _not_ someone for you – she's suicidal, depressed, dark, she's angry and violent with people and a healthy relationship _can't_ grow from this!"

Hajime stared at him, lips falling open in shock to hear such words. Now he knew Kiku was depressed, and _why_ … as much as it hurt his heart, it wouldn't be surprising to know she was suicidal… But the rest of this description – _it wasn't his Kiku._

"The Kiku I know is _bright_ , and _kind_ and _sweet_ – I don't know who you're talking about it's _not_ the girl I know!" Hajime exclaimed.

It was Takashi's turn to roll his eyes.

"Because you _like_ her but–"

"No! No _you_ don't get it, you don't understand! She changed! I don't know how hurt she was when you first met her, but she's… she's not that anymore! She loves the world and people so much – I never heard her badmouth anyone, she's open-minded and smiling and her laugh is beautiful, she sings and dances and used to do cheerleading – she's a great manager! She encouraged us _so much_ for the Inter-High! A-and she helps to take care of abandoned and injured animals! She's charming and funny and clever a-and… and she's so _happy_. She's so happy she can't help but spread happiness around her…"

Takashi stared at him, a little stunned to hear such a description… they often said that the most hurt people were the kindest – but in reality, it was so rare. So many people hung onto bitterness and anger and spread it around, they spread their hurt around because they didn't know how to deal with it. After what he had seen, a few years ago… how Kiku reacted to people, how she kept silence… it wouldn't have been surprising that she'd turn out just as bitter and angry as everyone else _but_ … but… as hard as it sounded to him… Hajime _truly_ thought she was kind and happy. When he talked about her, he didn't realize it, but he started smiling and blushing, his eyes were sparkling so much…

 _He really is in love with her…_ Takashi realized, eyes slightly widened.

"Look, you _think_ you know her and _obviously_ , you're _wrong_ … But you're judging Kiku from what you saw of her, _years ago,_ when she had just escaped her abusing family and was still dealing with her trauma – years have gone by and _now_ … now she's not the Kiku you used to know. The Kiku from now you only met her for less than two minutes and… _yeah_ , she was silent and dark and not feeling good – but like you said, seeing you had triggered her trauma. You… you can't judge her for this short time you saw her…" Hajime continued, his voice a little tight because he didn't want his father to think badly of Kiku.

He paused before continuing, not realizing just how closely his father was staring at him, a little shocked by the absolute devotion in his son's voice and the unwavering love in his eyes.

"Mom and you… you always taught me not to judge by the appearances and to get to know people before judging them – I'm asking you to do the same for Kiku… Forget what you know of her because… because you'll realize that she's the _kindest, brightest, most beautiful_ person to ever walk the Earth!"

"Boy… that place is already taken by your mother…" Takashi said with an amused smile when he saw his tough, muscular son blushing like an embarrassed five-years-old, "But… if Kiku is willing to meet me again, despite what I remind her of, I promise to try my best to ignore my past impression." He said, nodding lightly his head.

Hajime grinned happily, relief washing over his body.

"I can't really say anything else when you're talking about her like she's the love of your life, right?" He continued, teasing him a little.

He blushed even more, glancing down in embarrassment but didn't even try to deny it.

 _Oooh, he has it BAD!_ Takashi realized, biting the inside of his cheek to not laugh.

Once the hype was down, Hajime realized with dread that he had talked about Kiku like he usually thought of her – like she was his angel, a goddess, a creature of absolute kindness… It was more embarrassing than admitting outloud that he was in love with her… and his father kept smirking at him teasingly. The moment he'll step out of this room, his father will call his mom and tell her _everything_ and then _both_ his parents would tease him _endlessly…!_

"Another thing…" He recalled, "And uh, the main reason why I wanted to see you…"

Takashi raised an eyebrow while Hajime continued, fingers fumbling awkwardly.

"That guy… the family Kiku was in before you uh… found her… what happened to him?" He asked hesitantly.

His father sighed once again before reaching for one of the brown file he had come back with – he hadn't known his son would come, but he had been checking the state of the file.

"I was checking about it just before you showed up… He's in prison for abuse on minor, his wife had to go through some time in prison as well for helping him and their son had, _ironically_ , ended up in the system. They're all unable to reach Kiku – if they even try, they're in big trouble. The system and justice might have failed Kiku for years… but now she's protected from these people." He explained, showing the file to his son.

Hajime's hands immediately reached for it but Takashi pulled it out of his reach before he could grab it.

"Before I let you read this file – be _prepared_ for what you'll read. There are not just the investigation documents, but also the medical reports after that night and for the following months. I might not know today's Kiku, but… I don't think you're ready to know about the Kiku from that time." He said.

Hajime hesitated a short moment. He didn't want to know anymore about Kiku's pain and trauma but… if he wanted to be with her, he had to understand what she had gone through. He swallowed before nodding seriously. His father gave him the file.

"You can take it home – just make sure it's not seen when you go out. You're not supposed to bring back a confidential file."

"You always bring files home to finish them."

"Because I'm a police officer who never got caught – you're just a high-schooler and you're not the most discreet creature to be."

Hajime frowned, not quite knowing if there was an insult in that. He _could_ be discreet if he wanted to. But he nodded then got up, hiding the file under his jersey jacket. Once his father gave him the thumbs-up, he exited the building, as nervous as a thief. As soon as he was away, he sighed in relief.

When he got home, he ran into his bedroom, ignoring the way his mother glanced at him suspiciously. He started reading the file – it didn't have the emotions Kiku had when she told the story but… but it hurt all the more. Reading what had happened, what the policemen had discovered and worse… the medical reports. Hajime always threw up when he saw the injuries Kiku had been found with – so many bruises, so much blood, even clean… He could barely see any unscathed skin on her back.

He was wiping away tears when the door suddenly opened and he closed the file quickly.

"Iwa-chan! I received a message from Makki – didn't you check your phone lately? He's worried about you because… what is it?" Oikawa asked when he noticed his friend hiding his reddish eyes.

He glanced down and saw the police file – it wasn't hard for the setter to put two and two together. Wanting to support his friend, he approached his hand to the file but Iwaizumi put his hand on top of it to keep him from opening it.

"Don't. I…"

Oikawa stared at him, stunned he'd refuse him to have a glance at what was written. But Iwaizumi looked so distraught it was hard to see him like that…

"I don't want you to see Kiku this way… She might refuse to talk to me after she finds out I told you everything… I… I just want you to keep being her friend, so don't look at these pictures…"

"You know I don't judge people from their appearances…" Oikawa said with a sad shrug.

Iwaizumi turned to him, trying to find a sharp reply to that because he was _Oikawa Tooru_ but… he was _right_ and he didn't judge people from their appearances. Except himself.

"Still… it's a bit tough to look at. Especially when… it's someone we know…"

"…You mean, especially when it's the person you like…?" Oikawa concluded with pursed lips.

Hajime didn't even try to hide it, and nodded, lowering his head to look back at the brown cover of the file.

"It's one thing imagining what had happened to her when she told me everything… it's another _actually_ seeing what happened to her. How could someone be so cruel to do that to an innocent girl…?"

"…Cruelty is the way of the world, it's how people do most of the time…" Oikawa said in a low, hard voice.

Hajime glanced at him, not quite knowing what to think of this – especially coming from his best friend…

"So, I suppose you saw your father. What did you talk about?"

It took a little while but Hajime told him everything – from his father going to the bakery and their fight (which he had kept secret until now) to the conversation they had had earlier.

"…I should probably tell you but… the other day, when were looking through her stuff, Makki and I… we found some medicine. Anti-depressant… I… we didn't know if we could tell you but…"

Oikawa lowered his head in shame for not telling this earlier. Iwaizumi wasn't even surprised.

"It's fine… I prefer to find out about it now and know _why_ , than worry about it if you had told me right away… Hanamaki too, he didn't know. About Kiku being adopted or… any of that. I initially thought he knew and had kept it a secret from us but, he just didn't know. I don't know if I should be glad she told me the truth or not… I'm scared that it might have changed things between Kiku and I."

"It probably did," Oikawa said with a sad smile, earning a panicked look from his friend, "She's trusting someone, and the man she likes, for the first time in her life. She told you everything about her past and her fears. You're shaken up and it's normal. It'd be strange if it doesn't change things between you two but… don't worry too much about it. In the worst case scenario, there won't be any more secret or awkwardness and you'll just be your usual silly-selves who keep pining without taking action. In the best case scenario… it got you closer. It bonded you more than months, or even _years_ of dating could have done."

Suddenly, Tooru opened his arms wide, grinning happily. His unexpected outburst of joy had almost made Hajime jump.

"Think like Kiku-chan! Think positive! It can only get better for you two!" He exclaimed enthusiastically.

Hajime hesitated, thinking carefully on what he had said before smiling a little.

"Thanks… for being here for me…" He said with a little nod.

"That's what best friends are for, right~?" Oikawa answered with a bright smile, "Ah, speaking of best friends… Kiku-chan's made an appearance."

Hajime stared at him, confused until Oikawa pulled out his phone and showed him a message from Yuuna.

 **Tell that best friend of yours for me: "congratulation for doing exactly what you shouldn't have. Thank you for breaking Kiku's heart, dickhead."**

"I think I can feel some animosity and bitterness in this message," Oikawa commented with a smile.

But Hajime took the phone and his hands and reread the message times and times again before looking up. The phone slipped from his hands, almost falling on the floor if Oikawa didn't have the reflex to catch it in time before it'd get crushed.

"I-Iwa-chan! Be careful!" he exclaimed.

"I… I broke her heart…? I… made… I fucked up…" Hajime murmured, eyes wide in panic.

"You always do that anyway, Kiku-chan never held it back against you – it can't be that terrible!" Oikawa said, trying to stay positive.

"N-no! You don't get it! I…"

Hajime let his face fall into his hands, thinking back on what he had done and said. They had _argued_. What an _idiot_ – he had argued with Kiku just because his pride had been hurt she hadn't trusted him earlier without considering how hard it had been for her to _actually_ open up! He had _hurt_ her! He had _broken_ her heart! The one thing he _didn't_ want to do and he had done it _beautifully well!_

"I have to talk to her, to see her, to apologize, to–"

"Waah! Hold on, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, grabbing his arm before he'd run out of the apartment, "Give her some time! Yuu-chan… is just pissed by how things turned out but you know Kiku-chan, she won't hold it against you, she'll forgive you! What you said, just like what _she_ said, was because you were hurt and angry!"

"B-but…! Kiku… she needs someone, she's all alone and I hurt her and– and she's _fragile_ , she needs my help and–"

"Iwa-chan. Kiku has her _family_ , she has _Yuu-chan_. They're here for her and _right now_ … I don't think seeing you is the best option. You're both still shaken up, so you both need time to breathe and relax before facing each other. And just because Kiku-chan is fragile… doesn't mean she needs someone's help, or specifically yours. I'm not saying you should leave her all alone when she'll feel down but… she's faced such break-downs for _years_. And right now she's feeling down because of _you_ , so… give her time. Give yourself time too… okay?"

Oikawa didn't let go of his arm until, despite the trembling of his body, Iwaizumi lowered his head and nodded.

"…Okay…"

"Makki is keeping an eye on what's going on anyway. If anything happens, he'll warn us."

Hajime couldn't help but think back on what his father had told him – Kiku was depressed, suffered ptsd and was suicidal… If the one person she had trusted had turned his back no her – how was she feeling? He had been _atrocious_ , he… he hurt her most when he claimed he wanted to protect her. How lame. How _stupid_ , how…

"…zumi! _Iwaizumi!"_

Receiving a slap behind the head, he was brought back on earth by Oikawa who stared at him, a little worried to see his friend so unlike himself…

"Worrying will do you nothing. Tomorrow, you'll see Kiku again and you'll apologize for what you did and said, _then_ , you'll talk things through. Okay?"

Iwaizumi nodded once again. This day, Oikawa didn't leave his side to make sure he wouldn't overreact or make another mistake. They ended up falling asleep with their phones in their hands, in case of they received anything from Hanamaki…

 _The following day, Aoba Jousai High-school…_

He hated Monday. Monday meant no practice. No practice meant waiting until the beginning of class to see Kiku. He hated this Monday especially because the teacher had entered the classroom and Kiku hadn't showed up yet.

Hajime's leg was tapping nervously, his hands didn't stop moving and he didn't even try to hide when he pulled out his phone to text his friends. He asked everyone on the volleyball team and people he knew if they had seen Kiku but everyone had the same answer.

 _No. She wasn't here._

Nanami had said Kiku would be back on Monday – but in-between, he had _messed up_ by leaving her alone when she needed him! Hanamaki assured him that everything had seemed fine and that he had gone twice to ask Kiku's parents how she was and that they had said she'd be back to school but… but he had no more clue. What if she had gone to school but ended up refusing to see him? What if she had a break-down before reaching the school? He should have gone to accompany her and make sure she'd be fine…

Holding his head in his hands desperately, Hajime breathed heavily, finally understanding what Shouta and his father had meant.

" _Figure out if you're willing to share this burden with her."_

" _It's not going to be easy, dating her. It's a terrible thing to go through, but it can be even worse for the people around. I don't want you to have any illusion that with Kiku you'll have a good and happy relationship, however long it might last."_

They weren't even dating, they were just friends. But he was crushed in worry and fear and guilt… If Kiku and him had anything, _ever_ … he'd spend the entire time of their relationship worrying for her – he'd spend the rest of his life like that.

" _Kiku probably wants to protect you, she doesn't you to feel this burden."_

And yet… Hajime had been selfish to the point of being angry at her for not trusting him before when… _once again_ , she had put others, _him_ , first…

 _I'm sorry, Kiku… Please come and let me apologize… Please, please, please…!_

The long minutes, turning into hours until the break were agonizingly slow. The second it rang, Hajime stood up and hurried, almost running to the teachers' room. He entered and quickly found the person he was looking for.

"Coach!" He called, hurrying to him.

Irihata looked up and didn't even seem surprise to see the Ace here.

"Kiku… Akiyama-san… she… where is she?" He asked, voice tight in worry.

The coach sighed, closing his eyes before he answered the young man:

"Don't worry. She's _fine_. She's just taking another day off. She needs it after… look, I know she told you the truth so, give her time, okay?"

"B-but… if she were fine, she would _be_ here!" He exclaimed, not realizing he was being rude to his coach but he didn't seem to mind.

"Iwaizumi… she's _not_ fine but that's what I was told to tell you so you don't worry, but her ptsd and trauma were triggered just by meeting your father – telling you everything right after… it didn't do any good. She needs time to get over all the bad memories, okay? She'll be back in no time and you'll go back to endless pining yet again…" He sighed, rolling his eyes.

Hajime stared at him, stunned by the truth. He was glad his coach had been honest to tell him what was happening to Kiku – but he hated knowing her going through dark times on her own.

"What can I do?" He asked.

Shocked by this question, Irihata stared at him with wide eyes. It was so unexpected, he didn't actually have an answer…

"I… I'm not sure you _can_ do anything as it is. Wait for her return. It's the best thing to do." he answered.

Iwaizumi clenched his jaw – he knew his coach was probably right but… he hated feeling so useless after everything that had happened. If Kiku had opened up to him – it wasn't so she'd deal with it alone, right? If he knew, he needed to be by her side and help her out.

"Get lunch and try to relax, will you?" Irihata said, patting his shoulder.

Understanding the conversation was over, Iwaizumi turned around and walked back to his classroom. His friends were waiting for him here, they immediately noticed him looking down and probably feeling even worse.

"I just saw coach… he said she needed time…" He mumbled, knowing that they were worried too – but nowhere nearly as much as _he_ was.

They glanced at each other, not quite knowing how to comfort him.

The afternoon went by even slower than the morning. It was actual torture but unlike the morning, Hajime didn't have anything to look forward for – once the clock would ring… what would he do? Go to the bakery and see Kiku? Go home directly? Summon his inner Oikawa to whine about his life?

By the end of the afternoon, he had decided he'd to the bakery to bring his notes for Kiku and if he could see her… to apologize and talk… it'd be even better.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Oikawa asked as they walked out of the building.

"No… you have a date with Marika, right?"

"But you're more important than her. You need support and comfort and… and I know I suck at being a supporting friend but… I'm here, you know?" He continued.

"…Don't let Marika hear you say that. She's your girlfriend, you should cherish her more." Iwaizumi said even though he knew that the reason why Oikawa had said that was because he wasn't _in love_ with her.

"At least go with Makki! He said he had to drop a paper to the teachers' room! He'll be here soon and–"

"Iwaizumi! Oikawa!"

Just as his name was mentioned, Hanamaki arrived running like crazy, followed closely by Mattsun. Oikawa and Iwaizumi turned around, stunned to see them running and screaming their names like that but the moment Hanamaki arrived, he grabbed Iwaizumi's shoulders, breathing hard after his running.

"H-hospital!" He exclaimed in between panting, "Kiku! She's at the hospital!"

Hajime's blood ran cold, his eyes widening as he stared at his two friends breathing hard.

"We just heard coach on the phone! That's what he said!" Hanamaki continued, "You should go! NOW!"

Not quite knowing what to do but knowing that Kiku needed him now, Hajime only nodded sheepishly. Realizing he was too shocked to react, Oikawa took the matters in hands. He grabbed his shoulders and spun him around, pushing him forward.

"Go! Now! Iwa-chan! We'll join you as soon as these two can breathe again!" He ordered.

"R-right… Right!" He exclaimed, starting to run.

The moment Iwaizumi arrived at the bus stop, he thanked the heavens that there was a bus and he didn't have to wait for one. He jumped in and cursed the time it took with the circulation of cars – why was it _today_ that there was so much traffic?!

Kiku needed him _now_ … What had happened that she'd go to the _hospital?!_ Did she have another break-down, worse than the others? Did she… could she have hurt herself…? What if it was something really big? What if she had made a terrible mistake she couldn't come back from? What if it was already too late?!

He glanced up anxiously, realizing that the bus was practically not moving at this point. As soon as it stopped at a bus stop, he jumped down and started running – he wasn't that far away from the hospital anymore, he'd go faster this way. He ran faster than he ever did, his legs hurting and his lungs burning. Seeing the big, gray building of the hospital, despite the way his heart squeezed in fear, he accelerated.

 _Please, please…! Don't take her from me…! Don't take her from me! I didn't get the chance to tell her anything! I still have so many things to tell her!_

He arrived at the entrance and stopped just long enough to read the panels – but he had no idea where to go. Emergency? Perhaps he–

Glancing up, he froze upon seeing Kiku walking out of the building. She was looking down, she hadn't noticed him but… but she was walking, she was physically fine, she wasn't dead!

"Kiku…" He breathed, taking a hesitant step towards her – perhaps he was hallucinating, but _no_ , she were _here_ , she was _real_ and… "Kiku!"

She looked up, stunned to hear her name and… _this voice_. She looked up just as Hajime ran to her and before she had time to realize what was happening, he hugged her. They almost fell over from how strongly he caught her. Both of their hearts beat fast and strong – even if they had spent the last few days sad and worrying for the other, the moment they were together, everything seemed fine. It wasn't as if nothing had happened – they knew what had happened, what had been revealed, but it simply didn't matter. They were together, it was all that mattered.

Then, Kiku stopped breathing, eyes wide as she took in the power of the hug. It wasn't the comforting hugs from Yuuna, it wasn't a motherly hug from Nanami, or even the awkward hug from Shouta… It wasn't the half-hug he had given her back at the SPCA, this time there was no softness or awkwardness in his hug. It was strong and confident, as if he needed her against him as much as she needed him right now. Her body fit perfectly against Hajime's. His strong arms surrounded her and kept her close and he had hidden his face in her neck. They were close, _so close_ , his warmth was all she was aware of, she could feel his frenetic heartbeat against her chest – or maybe it was hers? Their hearts seemed to beat to their rhythm, to the same melody… he hugged her even closer, his nose brushing her neck as he breathed hard. He was shaking, his entire body was trembling as if he had been scared to lose her. She wanted to say his name, but… but her voice was missing. She was too shocked to move or say a thing, barely realizing what was going on. The only thing she could sense was Hajime, and the strength of his feelings as he hugged her as if it was their last day on Earth.

"I'm not leaving!" He exclaimed against her neck, "I'm not leaving you! _Ever!"_

Kiku's eyes widened. Tears made her eyes shine as her lips trembled.

"I-I've acted like an idiot for getting angry. I was hurt and talked in anger but I should have thought of _you_ instead of my own person! I-I'm so sorry b-but now I get it! I _understand_ you… _Kiku_ …" He whispered, closing his eyes and keeping her even closer to him, "I might not understand how you feel all the time, and I'll need you to tell me what to do at times… but… _but_ … I'm not leaving you alone. Ever again, you'll _always_ have me by your side! Do you hear? I'm _not_ leaving you alone! Ever, ever, ever! You'll _never_ be alone again! I'll _always be here,_ I'm not _leaving you!"_

He sounded desperate, as if he was the one who needed _her_ to never leave his side – but perhaps that _now_ … it might be the case. He wouldn't bear to not have her smile, her laugh, her brightness in his life.

Not hearing anything from Kiku, he was about to move to look into her eyes, at her face and repeat _again and again and again_ until she understood he wouldn't leave her that he was in her life, and she was in _his_ , and he would _stay_. But then, Kiku's tremblings hands reached up. She grabbed his shirt. She made a little whining sound and he felt her fall against him, hiding her face in his chest, crying silently and a relieved smile on her face… His heart sped up to know that she was accepting him as much as he accepted her – burden, pain, ptsd and everything coming along… He smiled, relieved and happy, as he hugged her even closer.

"I'm here… I'm not leaving… _never_ …" He whispered tenderly.

He kissed her temple and they closed their eyes as she cried silently, holding onto him as much as he held onto her. He kept repeating soft words in a quiet voice, words only _she_ could hear, words destined to her and only her… It wasn't a wild and passionate declaration, but the murmurs filled with love were just as comforting for both of them.

Whatever people might say, whatever obstacle they'd have to face… they weren't alone anymore. They were together.

 _The following day, for morning practice…_

Most of the team arrived in the same time, some more excited than others but not at the perspective of practice, and found the changing-room's door already opened.

"Iwa-chan!"

"Iwaizumi!"

"What happened yesterday?!"

In the middle of changing, Iwaizumi startled and turned towards his friends, flushing a little in embarrassment.

After the long and intense hug and soft whispers of comfort he had given Kiku… he had finally taken notice of Shouta standing just two meters away from them. He had been waiting for Kiku to drive her back home when the high-schooler had suddenly showed up out of nowhere and hugged his daughter, screaming what sounded an awful lot like a proposal (in his point of view of protective, doting father). Turning into a blushing, confused mess, Hajime didn't quite realize what was going on until Shouta drove him home and Kiku waved at him from the car window. He didn't even remember telling him where he lived. The moment he had arrived, he had collapsed on his bed and fallen asleep, overwhelmed by emotions – which was why Oikawa was as clueless as everyone else (meanwhile, Hajime's mother started to really worry because he kept falling asleep without eating dinner – Takashi assured her he was just being the usual love-struck teenager but it didn't keep her from worrying).

"U-um…"

"WELL! Say it!"

"We want to know! EVERYTHING!"

"Is Akiyama-senpai coming back or… does no one care about that?" Yahaba asked hesitantly, not quite understanding why his senpai were so excited about their manager being sick and their Ace being here?

"Kiku should be here today," Iwaizumi answered with a joyful smile.

Everyone smiled back, relief obvious – until Oikawa grabbed his friend and shook his shoulders to get answers, by force if necessary!

"SO! What happened?! What did you do? What did you say? What did _she_ say?!" He shouted.

"O-oi! C-calm down!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, pushing him off to answer without biting his tongue off with how strongly he was shaking him, "I-I found Kiku at the entrance of the hospital… and we… _well_ …"

He blushed, everyone waiting impatiently to know what had happened. They held their breaths as Iwaizumi finally said what they wanted to hear:

"…I told her everything I needed to say… a-and we hugged… for a very, very long time… and she even smiled when I left her…" He said with a love-struck (read: stupid – according to Makki) expression on his face.

"…But what did you say exactly?" Matsukawa asked, everyone getting confused because it didn't seem like much.

"That I would never leave her and I would always be by her side…" He answered, blushing even more.

There was a stunned silent. They had expected a big confession with tears of joy and the strong Ace carrying their manager bridal style. They had expected something worthy of the most cheesy of romantic movies.

"…Is that _it?_ But, reassure me, you also _confessed_ – you're _dating_ now, _right?"_ Hanamaki asked, eyes widening – and he had tried so hard the previous day to give them the right push!

They all felt their hopes being crushed when Hajime's eyes widened and his cheeks turned redder than ever.

" _C-confes…!_ N-no! I-I couldn't! I didn't! _I wouldn't!_ N-not NOW! I-it's just so… _so!"_ He stammered pathetically at the mere idea of confessing his feelings to Kiku.

Hanamaki actually tried to step towards him, but was held back by Mattsun before he'd do something he'd regret. Or something that might send him to jail.

"…It was the _golden_ opportunity! You just had to say " _I'm in love with you, be my girlfriend!"_ Damn it! How can it be so hard?! Now you'll waste _even more_ time pining like cursed lovers or something! Just get on with it, damn it!" Hanamaki hissed.

"B-but! I couldn't ruin the moment!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

" _Ruin the– he…_ he was afraid to ruin the moment. I'm going to kill him. After trying so hard to get you together, the moment you have the _perfect_ timing, the _perfect_ opportunity to confess… _you…! YOU!_ ARRGGH!" Hanamaki shouted, grabbing his hair to not actually try a murder.

Hajime just looked confused before he frowned, still clueless…

" _Wait_ … I was supposed to _confess…?"_ He whispered.

"YES!" They all shouted, groaning in despair.

"Let me resume the situation." Oikawa suddenly spoke up, raising his hands and attracting everyone's attention on him, "You basically gave Kiku-chan a _vow of eternal love_ … without _actually confessing_ or taking the chance to ask her to be your girlfriend?"

"…I-I wouldn't call it a _vow of etern_ – but, y-yeah… that's… that sums it up pretty well…" He admitted, a little embarrassed to be so clueless.

"…Iwa-chan. You are the biggest idiot in the universe."

"OI! SAY THAT AGAIN!" He shouted angrily, being the one to try to kill someone this time.

BONUS

 _[As Hanamaki is catching up his breath, the news that Kiku is at the hospital has made Iwaizumi run off as fast as possible…]_

"R-right… Right!" He exclaimed, starting to run to get to the bus.

Hanamaki held onto Oikawa, slowly breathing again while the setter leaned down with a knowing look on his face, Iwaizumi already out of view.

"…Why did you send him to the hospital exactly?" He asked suspiciously.

"Kiku really _is_ at the hospital!" He exclaimed, frowning, before adding, "…For a quick check-up with her psychologist…"

Oikawa sighed, hands on his hips.

"Iwa-chan is going to think of so many possibilities, the more time he'll spend thinking about it, the darker he'll think… He might go directly to the morgue."

"At least, he's going to _her_ , it was the push he needed to go to her instead of wondering what he should do," Matsukawa answered with a shrug.

"Right… who knows what he might do, though?"

"He'll thank me later."

"He'll thank you with a punch in the face when he'll understand you lied to him."

"I didn't lie! I just omitted the details!"

They stared at him accusingly, knowing that it wasn't something Iwaizumi would appreciate. He's had enough fear and worry to last him a lifetime – he'll start getting white hair at this rhythm.

"In all cases, by tomorrow! They'll _finally_ be dating! Let's get ready for an overwhelming amount of sweet nothings…" Hanamaki exclaimed, not that enthusiast about the overly sweet behavior.

" _Finally_ …" Oikawa and Mattsun sighed in relief.

…If only they knew how long they'll have to wait to finally say "finally".

* * *

 _I hope you liked this chapter which concludes the arc about Kiku's story, the following arc is, well, what you've been expecting since starting reading this fanfic! ;)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : MAGICAL MOMENT_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	35. Magical Moment

_Hellow! NEW CHAPTER, YAY! :D I shouldn't post this chapter becasue I'm late in my writing, after I ersed by accident chapter 36 I had to rewrite it entirely and thus, I am late in my schedule... but well! I'll hurry to finish writing this arc then I'll switch to Sowlmates' next arc! ;)_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Non preoccuparti, la confessione arriva presto nonostante qualchi dubbi e paure! ;)_

 _ **Krisia** : Makki might be one of the decisive people to act for these two to get together! ;) I must admit that I'm a little impatient to zwrite about Kiku meeting once again Iwaizumi's dad, and for both of them to discuss so he'd realize she's not who he thinks she is._

 _ **starrat** : I hope this chapter is up to your expectations! :D_

 _ **cuddlebunny0330** : It's going to keep being a rollercosater of emotions, but not for the same reasons as the past fuor chapters! ;) I'm sure you'll love this chapter then! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : There will be some doubts and fears, but their relationship will only get ebtter from now on! ;) Lots of love and adorable moments, a few doubts, but love always wins. I hope your heart will be able to handle this chapter, and the few following ones! ;)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : I wouldn't say that he's oblivious per say, he just gets swiped into the moment anf forgets a few essential steps. Following chapter again very adorable! :D_

 _ **YummoYaku** : There is definitely something ahppening that you're going to like~! ;) And yes, when they'll be together there will be some nsfw moments, if you read Sowlmates you have an idea of what it'll be like! ;) ALll my fanfictions aren't just about falling in love but also keeping a relationship working and building a life together so obviously, being intimate is an important step for couples. :) You'll see how Kyouken-chan and Kiku's relationship will be! x) I promise it'll be great, he's like Iwa-chan's adopted son (like all the second an first years after all) and she'll definitely act motherly with him, like everyone else. Whether or not he's okay with htat... is another story. XD Thank you for tleling me that, I hope you'll love the rest of the story then! :)_

 _ **mysteryalligator** : It's even better than Kijime getting together~! ;) You'll wait as long as it needs,but I promise it won't be THAT long for them to get together. It's just a matter of a few chapters now! ;) As for the Kuroo and OIkawa's stories, I'll start posting them when I'll be a few chapters before the end of Sowlmates and Quiet Voice, respectively. I don't post them now to not be overwhelmed but I'll post it before the very end to make sure people know about it! :) I don't know if you've read Sowlmates but there's the introcution of Kuroo's story in it, and there's also a two-shots story centered on Akaashi that I started publishing called "Sowlmates the Owl and the Dove"! ;) Don't hesitate to check it out! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXXV : Magical Moment

" _Sometimes love isn't fireworks, sometimes love just comes softly."_

— **Janette Oke, Love Comes Softly**

" _The thought of you consumes me like an uncommitted sin."_

— **VàZaki Nada**

" _I notice you, I want to say. Even when no one else does, I do. I will."_

— **David Levithan**

" _She scares the hell out of me and calms my soul at the same time. Maybe that's what love is—a total contradiction that somehow balances out."_

— **Tammara Webber, Where You Are**

" _And for some reason, I always felt a little more when I would hear you laugh."_

— **R.M. Drake**

" _Her laughter tickled my soul."_

— **Katie McGarry**

" _It all adds up to one thing: peace, silence, solitude. The world and its noise are out of sight and far away. Forest and field, sun and wind and sky, earth and water, all speak the same language."_

— **Thomas Merton**

" _Accepting help is its own kind of strength."_

— **Kiera Cass, The Guard**

" _Silence–awkward or comfortable–is a language too. Awkward silence screams, 'We have nothing in common.' Comfortable silence proves just how much we do."_

— **Erin McCahan, Love and Other Foreign Words**

" _Yes. Yes. Yes. I hear. Your silence is loud."_

— **Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait In Letters**

" _I'm thinking the reason I've been so quiet all those years is only because he wasn't around yet for me to tell everything to."_

— **Jandy Nelson, I'll Give You The Sun**

" _Fall in love with someone who's comfortable with your silence. Find someone who doesn't need your words to know it's time to kiss you."_

— **Clairabelle Ann**

"Hurry up!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, glaring at Oikawa for being so slow in the morning.

"Calm down, Iwa-chan! We're not late!" He answered, putting on his shoes calmly.

"Just hurry!"

"You know, I'm aware that you want us to hurry so you could cross path with Kiku-chan by _accident_ ," he mocked, following his friend who seemed unable to stay calm.

Iwaizumi huffed and rolled his eyes, but his blush betrayed him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"So cute, Iwa-chan~"

"SHUT UP! HURRY UP!" He shouted, grabbing Oikawa's sleeve and dragging him faster despite the setter's laugh.

When they arrived near Aoba Jousai, Iwaizumi calmed down, even slowed down and even if he appeared as relaxed as usual, his eyes were vividly looking around, looking for _someone_. Just around the time they reached the gates, Kiku appeared at the other side for the street, riding her bicycle.

"Oh, look, here's Kiku. Let's wait for her." Iwaizumi said, pretending not to have seen it coming even though he had definitely been waiting for her.

Oikawa glanced at him, unimpressed by his pretended casualness. He held back the reflex of rolling his eyes at how ridiculous Iwa-chan was being, it was actually impressive he thought he was being discreet in his pining. The entire volleyball team was now sighing and rolling their eyes pretty much every time the Ace and manager were in the same room together.

Listening to music, Kiku didn't notice right away the two young men even though Iwaizumi gave a tiny wave at her before putting his hands in his pockets. Grinning, she joined them, stopping and climbing down the bicycle.

"How are you today?" Iwaizumi asked her with a smile.

"Great, and you, Iwaizumi-san?" She continued.

"Great," he answered.

They stared at each other, grinning like fools while Oikawa felt a little awkward. Was it how Iwa-chan always felt? Being the third-wheel when his fangirls surrounded him?

"I'm fine too! In case you're wondering…" He intervened with his usual cheerfulness.

Akiyama finally noticed him, glancing at him then smiling with a little nod.

"I listened to the songs you advised me, Oikawa-san. I really liked them!" She started, all three walking to leave her bicycle with the few of the others left there by student.

"What music?" Iwaizumi asked, frowning.

While Kiku explained quietly about how and why she and Oikawa had ended up talking about music, and the one he had advised her, in her back, Oikawa stuck his tongue out at Iwaizumi, knowing he was jealous of the girl's attention being on someone else than him. Before Kiku could notice the silent and petty argument going on in her back between the two friends, Iwaizumi slapped down Oikawa's hand for the gesture he was doing, showing his teeth angrily. As soon as she turned around, they pretended nothing had happened and followed the girl, both trying to elbow the other until Oikawa went down, coughing terribly.

"Are you all right?" Kiku asked him, turning around to help him up.

"F-fine, just… didn't swallow well…" he mumbled, standing up.

"Oh, I have a water bottle if you want," she said, suddenly pulling out something from her bag.

She handed him a half-drunk water bottle. Oikawa took it with a thankful smile but before he could even open it, Iwaizumi suddenly reached for it, pulling it away from him.

"You can't," he said with a hard voice.

"Why not?" Oikawa asked, knowing _very well_ why Iwaizumi didn't want him drinking in this water bottle.

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes, silently telling him to _not_ drink in this water bottle. It was a water bottle Kiku had drunk in. Which meant indirect kiss, as silly as it was, Hajime couldn't bear the thought of his flirty friend's lips going to the same place as Kiku's.

"You said you were a little sick yesterday, didn't you? You'd give her your microbes, so you _can't_ drink in this water bottle. Understood?" Iwaizumi said in a threatening voice, glaring at him.

"I'm feeling much better, thank you for your concern, Iwa-chan!" He answered, reaching out to grasp the bottle.

Iwaizumi kept it out of his reach while Kiku glanced between the two doing some sort of battle for the water bottle. Hajime seemed annoyed by something, whereas Oikawa was gleeful from teasing.

"It's all right, you can drink in it even sick, I'll just give it to you," She decided to interrupt their petty argument.

Both stopped and glanced at her, a little surprised by her intervention. She smiled then turned around to enter the school building and get changed. Hajime stared at her leaving then glanced down at the water bottle in his hands.

"I'll leave it for you, consider it a gift, Iwa-chan~" Oikawa hummed, walking towards the boys' changing-room.

Hajime narrowed his eyes at him but then looked back at the water bottle. It was still fresh and… well, perhaps he was still a little thirsty from his morning run. Yes, running so much had made him thirsty. He opened it and noticed that the cup of the bottle had traces of her lipstick. Not lipstick – lip balm. Pink, the kind that left lips soft, dangerously attractive with a hint of pink lingering even after hours. He felt that if he was drinking from this same bottle, he'd commit a sin.

He felt blessed by heavens when he drank and tasted a little bit of her lips, even if it was through an indirect kiss.

One sin or a thousands – he'd end up in Hell anyway so why not make the most of it?

Later this day, at lunch, he went with Oikawa and Hanamaki get some lunch, half-listening to what the wing-spiker was talking about – some story about how one of his classmates _definitely_ had a thing for him, but who didn't, after all? On their way to the cafeteria, they walked past Kiku and Shinobu, the two girls talking vividly. If Shinobu flushed looking up at Oikawa, Kiku had eyes only for Iwaizumi. They smiled at each other before they continued their own way. He looked over his shoulder, grinning when Kiku had been looking at him as well. She smiled a little more and then Shinobu, noticing the shared gaze between the two, elbowed the girl and started teasing her, making her chuckle and blush. Iwaizumi looked back in front of him, his heart and stomach doing some happy roller coaster. He didn't stop smiling, holding back the reflex of hoping joyfully.

Hanamaki sighed, shaking his head, attracting the other two's attentions.

" _Why_ aren't you asking her out on a date?" He asked, sounding desperate.

"B-because we're not dating!" He replied, frowning lightly.

"Then _date_ her, it can't be so complicated. It's been almost two weeks already and all you've done is exchange smiles and pining. Just move your ass to get the girl, or the year will go by and you'll both end up crying at night, possibly to me or Oikawa, about how much regrets you've accumulated."

Two weeks already… It didn't feel like almost two weeks had passed since the whole mess of Kiku's revelation to Hajime. She was an adopted child and one of her foster family had abused her, leaving her covered in scars and dealing with ptsd. Hajime had reacted angrily when he had heard the story – partly because it had revolted him to hear what had happened to his Kiku, but mostly because he had felt like she hadn't trusted him before. He hadn't realized how much of a big step forward it was for Kiku to trust someone at all and tell him what had happened to her. And after some trick from his friends, he ended up running to the hospital and telling her he'd never leave her. But they still weren't dating, to their friends' great despair.

But knowing the whole truth had changed things between Hajime and Kiku: there was no more wondering what was her story, her secrets, what had happened to her… They both felt lighter – Kiku because she had talked about her past to someone other than her psychologists or her parents, and Hajime because she had trusted _him_ out of all people. They both smiled more, brighter, they seemed happier, but there was one thing missing: the tiny and last step of confession before they'd finally be the adorable couple they should be.

Hajime had told Oikawa everything, and because he had involuntarily told Hanamaki some part of the truth, he too had ended up knowing most of the story. And because Matsukawa was left behind, they had told him as well. Facing Kiku to tell her he had told all four of them the truth (technically, only Oikawa, then Hanamaki had insisted and Oikawa had told him, then Mattsun had insisted and Oikawa _and_ Hanamaki had told _him_ ) but for some reason, she hadn't been angry or sad as he would have expected. She had been a little awkward with the three others at first, nervous to know they knew the truth but they didn't change their behavior towards her (except maybe Hanamaki who was calmer and less teasing with her) and it was a huge relief for her. She was acting with them the same way she used to, perhaps even a little more open. She was laughing more as well, Hajime had happily noticed.

In the end, Kiku was the one who felt better and lighter – sharing the burden had only been positive for her.

It was obvious for everyone who knew the two that Hajime liked Kiku, and that she liked him back. It wasn't even "liking" or "fallen in love" at this point – it was being _head over heels_ for one another. Hajime really shouldn't be scared anymore of confessing because Kiku had accepted him the way _he_ had accepted her – the good and the bad and everything in-between. But it still took a huge leap of faith forward and he hadn't been ready. Not until now.

"I'm going to confess," Hajime suddenly said.

"Yeah, that's what we've been…"

Hanamaki's voice trailed off and both he and Oikawa stopped before whipping with wide eyes towards Iwaizumi who remained calm.

" _WHAT?!"_ They both yelled.

"Why are you so surprised? You keep insisting I should confess." He mumbled, raising an eyebrow.

"Y-yes, but it's so… unexpected, Iwa-chan…"

"You were all _'no, I can't, I'm too scared'_ not long ago and you suddenly drop the bomb like that…"

"I do _not_ speak like that." Iwaizumi growled at the high-pitched voice he had used to imitate him.

" _Oh!_ Then! We need to prepare _everything!_ It has to be perfect!" Oikawa suddenly exclaimed, "The best would be after practice, but make sure to take a shower and not stink, with the sunset and under a tree so that the leaves could fall around you while you confess – Kindaichi could climb in the tree to shake the branches! It'll be _so_ romantic! And you'll have to–"

"Oi, wait, wait, wait!" Iwaizumi interrupted, "I'm going to do it _my_ way! Don't intervene, and don't drag Kindaichi or _anyone_ in this, okay?!"

" _Your_ way?" Hanamaki repeated, raising an eyebrow, "Don't take it the bad way, Iwaizumi but… _how_ do you plan to confess exactly?"

Hajime felt offended he'd have so little faith in him. He opened his lips but was suddenly out of words. He glanced away, confused and frowning to himself. It was one thing deciding to confess, it was another thinking of how he'd do it.

"Oh." He said, realizing he had no clue, "How… do you, should… I… what?" He asked, turning towards his friends.

"Just as I was thinking, let me handle everything or you'll mess up something once again!" Oikawa decided.

Before Iwaizumi could protest, he and Hanamaki were already discussing excitedly how they'd set up the confession. He let them talk, but swore to himself he'd never follow their instructions if he wanted to confess to Kiku. It'd only turn into a big mess.

Unfortunately, the hype was too strong and Oikawa had prepared an _actual plan_ in several steps that he excitedly shared with Iwaizumi when the two classes moved for their last class of the day: physical education. Most of the time, two classes would participate in the same time, and thankfully – or unfortunately – Oikawa and Iwaizumi's classes practiced together. It meant the students mixed up together – the only separation was between boys and girls who usually practiced different sports.

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa called.

Iwaizumi turned around just as Oikawa joined him and they continued their way towards the boys' changing-room of the high-school building along with their classmates.

"I prepared something!" He said, giving him a paper titled _'how to confess for Iwa-chan~!'_

"What the fuck?" He mumbled, starting to read the whole thing that had _nine_ steps.

 _His_ way of confessing, he has imagined it in a much simpler way: step 1) get Kiku alone with him; step 2) confess. He was considering a step 3) pray very, very hard that no idiot (read: anyone on the volleyball team) would come interrupt, or tease, or bother, or turn it into a mess.

"I'm not doing any of the… how do you expect a flock of birds to go off at this exact timing, seriously?" He asked, giving the paper back to his friend.

Oikawa's lips trembled, hurt by his words:

"But I worked very hard to find a plan that would fit you and make both you and Kiku-chan happy!"

"We'll be happy when I'll confess, and not through nine freaking steps coming out of a romantic movie! We are happy at the moment, anyway. Just a good old and simple confession, without any weird stuff, or stupid stuff, or cheesy stuff, and it'll be _perfect_." He decided, shaking his head.

Oikawa sighed, disappointed, but didn't reply anything. Yet. He was too stubborn to give up. At least on the sunset. The sunset _had_ to be here.

They changed clothes before going for a basketball class.

"Ugh… _why_ aren't we doing volleyball? I don't like basketball…" Oikawa whined as they warmed up.

"We did volleyball last week, and we crushed the basketball Captain. I think he wants his revenge on us." Iwaizumi said with an amused smile, glancing over at said-Captain glaring at them.

"Shall we crush him once again, Iwa-chan~?" Oikawa hummed, never refusing a challenge.

"Sure we will," he answered with a grin.

"Oh, looks like the girls will do gymnastics this week. Kiku-chan will do great, then!"

Iwaizumi glanced over his shoulder, watching the girls doing their own warm-up and preparing their side of the gymnasium. The class started, things quickly heating up for the boys with their mini-competition lead by the team of the basketball club's Captain, and the team of Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

"Go! Kiku-chan! Show them what you've got!"

The distant voice of Shinobu encouraging Kiku distracted Hajime. He glanced over and despite the little crowd and the net in between to separate the girls and the boys, he saw Kiku go for a run then make stunts and jumps. An amazing sequence of beauty and grace no one expected from her. But she was simply so beautiful and incredible, doing such breathtaking–

"IWA-CHAN!"

"Iwaizumi, watch out!"

He didn't have time to react that he received the basketball full force, right into his face and fell backwards. And ridiculously at that. At once, all the boys ran to him, Oikawa first of all. Moaning, Iwaizumi remained on the floor for a little while, lifting up his hand to his face.

"Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan! Answer me! Are you all right?!"

"What happened, Iwaizumi-san?!"

"Uuugh… Kiku…"

There was a long silence, everyone glancing around, stunned to hear such a thing.

"Kiku? Akiyama Kiku?"

"Who?"

"Why is he talking about her?"

"He was distracted by her, wasn't he?"

"Is this a joke?"

"Iwa-chan! Are you all right?!" Oikawa exclaimed, a little panicked and silencing everyone.

"I'm fine…" He mumbled, sitting up.

"You should rest for today, you received a pretty hard hit on the head, Iwaizumi," their teacher said.

"If I can receive _his_ serves in the face, I can handle anything," he said, pointing at Oikawa.

"Not _Akiyama_ , apparently," someone joked behind.

Several laughed but when Iwaizumi glared, they shut up.

"I'm fine, really," Iwaizumi told their teacher.

He planned to sit up to prove it, but the moment he put his hand on the floor to push himself up, he felt a familiar pain in the wrist. He winced and immediately looked down, cursing himself.

"The wrist you had sprained…" Oikawa mumbled, lips thin.

"I'm fine, it's not hurt, just…"

"You're going to the nurse," the teacher decided with a sigh, "Someone go with him!"

Several glanced at each other while Oikawa helped him up even if Iwaizumi kept repeating he was fine and didn't need help.

"Akiyama will! If he can handle anything, he can handle her too!" The basketball Captain joked.

The girls, who had stopped everything when they had heard the commotion, all opened wide eyes and turned towards Kiku who blushed fifty shades of red. Iwaizumi flushed as well, biting down on his lower lip. Several started whispering and laughing, mostly at the poor girl who looked as far away as possible from Iwaizumi. He was about to bark some insult when the teacher intervened:

"If you've got so much nonsense to say, you can say it while accompanying Iwaizumi to the nurse, Izumi!" He exclaimed, sending an annoyed look at the basketball Captain.

He lost all colors, people laughing at _him_ now, while he stammered pathetically:

"B-but… basketball… I'm the Captain…" He said, as if it gave him enough reason to stay.

"We're in a PE class, not in a basketball practice for your club. You're not a Captain right now, just a student. And as such, you'll accompany one of your classmate who's hurt. Hurry." The teacher said impatiently.

Iwaizumi smirked, glad Izumi now had burning ears as he accompanied him. Served him right for making fun of his Kiku. As soon as Iwaizumi was at the nurse, Izumi went off and back to PE class. Iwaizumi didn't have a commotion or anything sprained but he should still go see a kinesitherapist to make sure his wrist wouldn't suffer with his intense training as volleyball Ace.

The following day being Saturday, he decided to go to his usual kinesitherapist. It was a kind woman who had taken great care of his wrist when he had gotten injured, the same who was helping out Oikawa with his knee. She had been advised to them by coach Irihata and she probably knew the whole volleyball team over the years with the amount of injuries they all got. When he arrived, the usual dinging sound resonated.

"I'm coming!"

A few minutes later, Kato-san arrived with a smile, surprised to see Iwaizumi here and after he explained his fall at PE class, she smiled.

"I can have a look at it, go in the usual room, Iwaizumi-kun," she said before disappearing.

She joined him a few minutes later then was massaging his wrist to check for injury and make sure he wouldn't force on it, she had already started a conversation, asking about how he was doing at school, how was Oikawa, their families…

"I've heard about your loss at the Inter-High, it's such a disappointment… You've worked so hard…"

She said, lips pouting.

"Yeah… we fought until the end though… Probably… partly thanks to our manager."

Kato glanced up at him and he continued, not realizing that a smile had started appearing on his face:

"She encouraged us a lot when we were a little desperate. I'm so grateful she is part of my life…"

"Girlfriend?" She asked teasingly.

He blushed and shook his head no, but didn't stop smiling. He opened his lips to answer _"not yet"_ when someone knocked at the door:

"Auntie Tsubasa, I'm going to…"

Hearing a familiar voice, Hajime looked up with wide eyes, and Kiku's voice trailed off when she saw him here. They stared at each other for a short moment, Tsubasa's lips trembling as she held back a laugh.

"Kiku, how do you feel?" She asked, but by the tone of her voice her question was professional and not personal.

It seemed to shake Kiku back to reality and she turned towards her aunt, Hajime glancing between the two with wide, shocked eyes:

"Already better, thank you," Kiku answered.

Her eyes darted back towards Hajime and Tsubasa quickly stood up, cleaning her hands covered in massaging cream on a towel.

"You'll be fine, Iwaizumi-kun and I'm done with today's massage. Now, should I leave you two alone? I believe you are… acquainted, are you not?"

Kiku blushed, looking away as Iwaizumi finally reacted:

"W-wait! You! You two know each other?! _Auntie?!"_ He exclaimed, still glancing between the two.

Aunt and niece glanced at each other then back at the Ace, looking at him almost sadly.

"Iwaizumi-san, this is Kato Tsubasa… My mother's sister and… coach Irihata's wife." Kiku introduced with a smile.

"I heard a lot about your team from my husband, _obviously_ , and I know a lot about what's going between you two from my sister, and–"

" _Auntie!_ Tsubasa… _please?"_ Kiku exclaimed, half pleading to not be teased while Hajime flushed in embarrassment.

"B-but, your family name… Irihata…? Kato? I-I don't get it…" He stammered.

"Ah, I already had my office with my name before I met and married my husband. I decided to keep my birth name as a professional name," Kato explained calmly before raising an eyebrow, "Don't tell me that because I don't share the same family name as Nobuteru, you hadn't figured out I was Kiku's aunt until _now?"_

Hajime glanced at Kiku, then back at Kato-san, realizing how much of a fool he had been. Of course coach Irihata would tell his students to go to this _"good kinesitherapist, not too far from here"_ AKA his wife. Of course, Oikawa (and pretty much everyone else but him) already knew because he knew that coach had a wife who was also a kinesitherapist. Of course it never occurred to Hajime that the kinesitherapist who had looked after Kiku, thanks to whom she had met Nanami (Kiku hadn't given the detail that the two were sisters, but it should have been obvious enough) also was the kinesitherapist/wife of his coach.

"I… I hadn't connected the dots until now…" He murmured, red in embarrassment and wanting to cover his face in shame.

Tsubasa whistled, then laughed loudly, hands on her hips as she remarked with a grin:

"Nobuteru had told me you were the only one with some brain cells on his team! I don't want to imagine the others!"

She laughed again and turned to leave the two teenagers who were too embarrassed to react at her teasing, but then, Kiku whipped to her and opened her lips:

"Um! U-uh… auntie Tsubasa… could we… could I borrow the car keys… please?" She asked hesitantly.

Hajime glanced between the two, Tsubasa looking at him then back at Kiku with a smile.

"Sure, just make sure to be back in time. You'll eat dinner with us tonight?"

"Y-yes," Kiku answered with a nod.

"Then, you know where the keys are!" Tsubasa exclaimed, leaving the two teenagers.

Kiku and Hajime glanced at each other, flushing before she started walking away. He followed her, not quite knowing whether or not he was supposed to but if she didn't want of him, she'd say so. She grabbed keys in her aunt's desk – her _aunt_ , how could he _not_ realize earlier that the kinesitherapist following him and Oikawa was _coach's wife?!_ It was so obvious now that he knew it!

 _Just like it had seemed obvious after learning that Kiku was adopted that the Akiyama weren't her parents – coach or Kato-san, it's the same, they're not related to Kiku in the slightest…_ He thought to himself, a little lost in thoughts.

"You really didn't know uncle Nobuteru was giving auntie's office address to whoever would need a kinesitherapist?" Kiku asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Oh, uh… I never thought about it," he admitted, still flushing in embarrassment.

She smiled a little, amused by his obliviousness. She found it endearing that such obvious things for some, would go over his head.

Kiku went straight for a car and opened it without hesitation, climbing in. Iwaizumi remained standing there, a little awkwardly until she looked up at him and pointed at the seat next to her:

"Well? What are you waiting for? Get in!" She exclaimed.

He was too stunned to not execute her order but the moment he was sitting, seat-belt on and Kiku starting to drive, he frowned to himself.

"Wait, do you have a driving license?" He asked her.

"…Not _yet_ , but I know how to drive. Uncle Nobuteru taught me." She explained with a shrug.

"You can't drive without a driving license!" He exclaimed suddenly, straightening up in his seat.

"I can still drive!"

"But! What if you get caught by cops?!"

"I never got caught by cops, it's fine!"

"My _dad_ is a cop!" He hissed, raising his hands to the sky, "If we're caught and I'm in the same car as you, I'm going to get killed! _Worse!_ He'll throw me in jail!" He exclaimed while Kiku chuckled at his over-reaction.

"Ending up in jail is wore than death?" She questioned, sounding thoughtful.

He remained silent for a moment, watching a little nervously the sides of the road where he knew cops were hiding.

"It _can_ be worse than death, when I hear what my father says about what people do when they get out. Even if they're not such bad persons… they always end up with a shitty life because of their time in prison…" He explained.

"…Some people deserve it. Some would deserve death more than jail." She said harshly.

Surprised by her words and tone of voice – it was something he had never heard from Kiku… He turned to her with wide eyes, lips falling open. She glanced at him very quickly and despite the coldness he saw in her eyes, it quickly disappeared, leaving guilt and disappointment. Disappointment to have disappointed him, to have said such a thing…

"Sorry…" She whispered, lips thin, "It's… still not a good thing to say, or even wish…"

"Do you wish for his death?" He asked, trying not to let any emotion filter through his voice.

"Whose?" She asked innocently.

"You know whose," he replied, staring at her.

Her face didn't show anything, but her eyes were stormy from emotions. Then… she calmed down. Her shoulders relaxed, her lips tilted up in a soft expression and her eyes were just sad.

"I won't deny that I hate him for what he's done to me, but justice is done. Wishing for his death or for things to have been different won't change what actually happened. I just wish… for Himura-san to realize the mistakes he's done and pays for it. That he prays to be a better person and do better for his family… Not that I really care anyway, I haven't heard from any of them ever since your… ever since your father told me they were far away from me and wouldn't hurt me anymore. I don't even know the details of what happened to them."

Hajime hesitated, not quite knowing what to answer to that, a little stunned by her wisdom when she was only eighteen years old.

"He's in prison, so is his wife. And the son was in the system, he's probably on his own now. If… they behaved during their time in jail, they might be out already." He said in a low voice, glancing from the window.

He watched the faces of the people they drove by. Perhaps one of them was a Himura. Perhaps one of them was a victim of people as terrible. Or the culprits. There was no way to know.

"…I see." Kiku said in a low voice.

She glanced very quickly at Hajime then spoke up again, gaze back on the road:

"I'm sorry I didn't ask you if you wanted to come with me today. I should have. It's as if I'm a dragon kidnapping a prince from his kingdom! Oh, well, you'd be able to beat the bad guy, anyway."

Hajime was tempted to say that _she_ was the princess hurt by a vicious dragon… and he liked the idea that he'd be her knight in shining armor, came to save her by slaying the beast. But Kiku was strong enough to slay the dragon on her own. She was good-hearted enough to kill it with kindness.

His line of thoughts left a smile on his face, and he looked around before speaking up:

"Where are we going exactly?" He asked because they were leaving the center of Sendai and were going straight towards the forest and hills surrounding the city.

"There's someplace I want to show you." She said with a smile, "You'll see, it's very pretty and… and we didn't get to talk, all alone, ever since… I mean, there's always been people around us or we were busy and…"

Her voice trailed off and she swallowed hard. Hajime couldn't help but smile softly, her eyes catching his expression and immediately reassuring her. They remained in a comfortable silence for a little while. Until they drove by a police car, Iwaizumi immediately trying to cover his face and hide behind the seat.

"It's acting so strangely that's going to get us caught!" She exclaimed with an amused smile.

"S-sorry… Is it really that easy to drive without a driving license in town? It's dangerous…!" He mumbled, checking over their shoulders to make sure the police car hadn't decided to follow them.

But knowing the police officers and cops quite well, he was pretty sure that whoever had been in this car would have been too busy eating donuts or dorayaki or something to actually look at the cars going by.

"My driving is that bad?" She asked with a chuckle.

He stopped and glanced at her. She had the calm gestures of someone who had driven for a long time. She was respecting the restrictions and her attention was focused on the road, the passerby, the other roads… everything.

"N-no… you drive very well…" He admitted.

 _Better than my father the police officer,_ he added to himself, half-tempted to tease his father about that.

"Do you drive?"

"Not as actively as you, _apparently_ … But my dad taught me. I'll get a driving license next year." He explained.

She smiled softly, imagining the two Iwaizumi in a car, father teaching son how to maneuver such a machine.

"He tried teaching Oikawa too, but he doesn't have the patience and almost ended up crashing the car three times until dad gave up on him." He added with an amused smile, remembering the times his father had spent teaching them (mostly him).

Kiku's smile grew larger just as they quit the main roads and turned for a little road, it was surrounded by trees and they were going up on a big slope.

"Where are you taking me, seriously? It reminds me of the times Oikawa drags me for some alien sighting in the forest," he mumbled.

"Not that different, actually. Are _all_ of your experiences in life associated to Oikawa?" She asked teasingly, glancing at him.

"We grew up together, so, most of it, yeah, unfortunately– keep your eyes on the road please." He said, pointing at the bumpy road.

"It's fine! I know what I'm AAAH!"

Kiku suddenly braked, screaming. Iwaizumi screamed as well, holding tightly onto whatever he could grasp. His scream continued, totally panicked, eyes closed, expecting a crash or to hurt or die or _something_ … then, he heard a laugh. He whipped towards Kiku who was leaning against the car wheel, laughing at her own (stupid) joke. Mostly at his reaction.

"What the fuck?! It's not funny!" He exclaimed.

"Yes, it _was!_ You didn't see your face! And your scream! It was priceless!" She exclaimed, still laughing.

He opened his lips to reply something but only huffed, still a little panicked after his fright. Kiku was still chuckling when she continued driving. Her eyes were sparkling happily and he couldn't help but smile, realizing he had missed her smile and laugh so much. Even if he had seen it just the previous day, even if he had heard this sound not long ago…

"For information, the only reason why I braked suddenly was because we are the only ones on this road and no one ever comes around. I wouldn't have done it otherwise." She explained, but her lips were still trembling in amusement.

"The main reason you did that was because you wanted to scare me," he mumbled.

" _That_ , too," she admitted, nodding cheerfully.

She chuckled, remembering the face he had made and the unmanly scream that had escaped his lips. This time, he couldn't help but laugh softly as well, imagining what he must have looked like. Probably ridiculous, but as long as it made Kiku happy, he was okay with it.

After the long bumpy road, they finally arrived on a little platform, covered in grass and flowers of all colors and a circle of trees making it look like a suspended meadow. Kiku drove the car in a corner then exited the car, Hajime following her. They walked forward and he smiled, his heart missing a tiny beat when he saw the view under his eyes.

From here, they could see the entire city of Sendai but despite the gray buildings and boring streets, the few parks and shrines made the city look much more beautiful than it should have been. The sun was going down, painting the landscape in shades of orange and gold. Perhaps it was what made the view so beautiful. Or perhaps it was the meadow they were standing in, giving it a magical glow. Or perhaps what made the landscape so beautiful was simply to watch it with Kiku…

Hajime glanced at her, she was smiling softly upon seeing this view, her eyes sparkling. Her hair had caught the sunset's rays, giving a copper, almost reddish hue to her hair. Her skin was as pretty as amber. She wore jeans and an oversized white shirt, but she had never looked more beautiful than in this moment.

"Isn't it beautiful?" She said in a low voice, as if afraid it might break the moment.

"…You are…"

Kiku looked up at him, a little stunned by his words, not sure she had heard him well. She looked away almost as quickly, and observed the beautiful, magical landscape once again:

"I never talked to anyone about this place before, or even… brought anyone. I-it's my secret place where I come when I need to be on my own and away from the world." She explained sheepishly, flushing to admit to Hajime was the first to know about this place, "I… I first discovered it after I was adopted by the Akiyama. I… I was still being followed by Tsubasa for my back, even now I still am, and I needed exercise so I'd often walk around town, and one day I found the little road we drove on and… and I fell in love with this place."

Hajime didn't doubt it must feel like heaven when her past was haunting her or when the world was too cruel to her… It was a beautiful, peaceful place, relaxing and away from the stress of the city.

"You still… are?" He asked hesitantly, frowning lightly.

Kiku seemed hesitant, her hand going up to her shoulder by reflex. Where there was a scar. A scar left by Himura from the years of abuse during which he mistreated her…

"The whip he used on me didn't just burn away the skin and flesh to leave scars… It'd hit my column and sometimes even my ribs. Even if I've been treated in time, even if I do sports to keep muscles in my back… it still hurts. Yesterday's stunts at PE class hurt me a lot because I hadn't done any in a while now that I'm manager and so… I asked my aunt to give me some massage. I suppose that between that and my heavy breasts, I'll always have back pain." She explained with a little shrug.

She said it so easily – explaining what happened to her, why she was injured and still had to deal with the pain _today_ , years after… But Hajime had seen her eyes letting rivers of tears roll down her cheeks, he had seen how hard it was for her to talk about any of this, how heavy her heart had been…

Suddenly, she let out a heavy breath and she chuckled, eyes a little teary despite the relief shining in them.

"Wow, I hadn't said it to anyone else… It's… it's such a relief, it feels so good talking about it without holding anything back…!" She realized, voice trembling a little.

He was about to tell her she could talk to him whenever she felt like it, whenever she needed it – he was here for her, forever, he had said so… but before he could say a thing, she spoke up, turning to him:

"Iwaizumi-san, I… I told you everything of my story but… I want you to know that you don't have to feel yourself forced to listen to my whines and cries, it's… it's not easy listening to these things and you are… innocent in all this. If it ever feels too much and you don't want to hear me complain, you can just tell me and I'll stop right away."

He opened his lips, closing and opening, looking stupid, until he found the right words to say:

"Do you want to talk to me? Do you _need_ to?" He asked softly.

Surprised by his question, that he'd care about her well-being, her lips trembled and her eyes filled with tears. Though she couldn't tell if these were tears of sadness or joy. Her heart tugged almost painfully, realizing that she had _needed_ someone to listen to her for all these years… but she shouldn't force the burden that was her past on his shoulders.

"I… I-I'm fine… I-I don't…"

"I'm here if you need to talk to me. I'm not going to break down just because of what you're telling me, I'm your friend and… I want you to trust me. I want you to have someone, a friend, to hold onto. Someone you'll never doubt of. A-and if it's me, then I'm glad… but you're not alone anymore… okay?" He said, looking at her with such vivid eyes.

With the sunset, his green eyes seemed to sparkle with bits of gold. She was breathless, thoughtless for a moment, entranced by his beautiful gaze so focused on her. Filled with softness and love – not pity, not anger, just… just everything she needed.

"You're the one I trust." She breathed out suddenly.

Hajime seemed relieved, a smile tugging at his lips. They remained silent, nothing else needed to be said. His hand reached for hers, hesitantly, his fingers brushing hers… Kiku startled and her first reflex was to move away… but he kept his soft, understand gaze on her and she finally approached her hand to his. His fingers entwined with hers, slowly, until he softly tugged at her hand and held it. It wasn't a desperate grip, but it was firm enough that she'd feel his rough, strong hand around hers. _He was here._ He was here _for her._

Taken in by the atmosphere of the magical meadow, Kiku's words of trust to him that meant so much for both of them, their hands holding… Hajime hesitated before doing an awkward, slow move to turn towards her. His move, his gaze, the way he squeezed her hand, the way he blushed, was enough to reveal his intentions and even if Kiku's lips trembled, her gaze didn't waver. She didn't move away. Knowing it was her way of saying she trusted him, that she wanted this as much as he did, Hajime moved slowly towards her, leaning down, his eyes on her lips. He kept glancing into her eyes, both of them blushing terribly, but ready to stop at the slightest sign of fear or refusal from Kiku. But she squeezed his hand back, as if encouraging him and he almost laughed – out of excitement and happiness, realizing that they didn't need a single word to understand each other. She lifted up her face to him, closing her eyes. Hajime smiled, starting to close his eyes as well, getting closer and closer to her lips, to paradise…

A phone suddenly started ringing and they both startled. They looked at each other and blushed even more when they realized how physically close they were, how emotionally connected they felt. They stared awkwardly, not knowing what to do now that their attempt at a kiss had been interrupted by a phone ringing… The atmosphere was gone, the magic of the moment vanished.

Kiku was the first to look away, but she didn't pull away, just awkwardly stammering and staring into emptiness.

"U-um… y-your phone… is… it's… it's saying hello…" She mumbled in a low voice, trembling a little.

"R-right, s-sorry…" He answered.

He was forced to let go of her hand to take his phone but he stopped and looked back at Kiku who was observing him from the corner of her eye curiously. He smiled, raising an eyebrow:

"Did you… just say my phone was _saying hello?_ It's an adorable way of saying it's ringing," he said with a soft, amused smile.

She blushed in embarrassment but he looked down at his phone, not surprised but already clenching his teeth to see it was a call from Oikawa. He usually sent him texts (which were on _silent_ and would have been _much better,_ not ruining his first kiss with Kiku) so a call was surprising, perhaps it was an emergency. But it was also _Oikawa_ who would call him at random hours just when he was too impatient to receive the answer to his text. He was unpredictable. It'd _better_ be an emergency.

"Yeah?" He asked, answering the call.

" _Iwa-chan! Did you know there's Godzilla on tv tonight?!"_ His friend asked excitedly.

Hajime glared at an innocent tree, cursing Oikawa while Kiku stared at him curiously. Without answering and without feeling the tiniest bit of guilt for this, Hajime ended the call and turned off his phone to not be interrupted _ever again_ by Trashykawa.

"E-everything all right…?" Kiku asked shyly.

"Yeah, just Trashykawa being a pain in the ass." He growled.

She glanced around and after awkwardness filled the silence, they glanced at each other, recalling very well what they had been doing before the phone call. What they had _attempted_ to, at least. Feeling a little embarrassed, Hajime showed his hand, not quite knowing how to say _"hey, let's try to have our romantic first kiss in the sunset once again!"_ without sounding… weird.

"Um… should we… shall we…? Continue… perhaps…?" He hesitated, blushing at his bad choice words – at least, it had the good point of being straightforward. A little too much, though.

Kiku blushed, hesitated, glancing around but before she could answer, _her_ phone vibrated loudly. She jumped and went to dig in her pocket, reading the text by her aunt while it was Hajime's turn to glance around awkwardly.

"My aunt is asking when we'll go back…" She said, realizing that much more time had gone by than expected, "W-we should…"

She vaguely pointed at the car, her way of saying _"we should go now, even if I don't want to"_ and he nodded, lips thin, his way of saying _"the mood is gone now anyway, so let's go"_ … And so, they climbed back in the car and went back to Kiku's aunt's office in total silence. But it wasn't awkward, nor did it bother them. Quiet was their way of communicating, they didn't need words. If anything, they messed up whenever they used words. Quiet was much better.

Hajime insisted he didn't need to be driven back and he used the opportunity of walking back home to clear his thoughts. Despite his annoyance at Oikawa's unwanted intervention… it had been a good afternoon. He smiled softly, thinking back on Kiku's words – she trusted him. And it was one thing trusting him by telling her story, it was making everything more real when she actually said the words _"You're the one I trust."_ They had almost _kissed_ , Kiku had let him get close enough for a kiss – if Trashykawa hadn't called him _then!_ He laughed to himself, quickly biting down on his lower lip when people glanced at him. He was grinning giddily when he got back and nothing could get him down from his cloud of happiness.

* * *

 _Ok. Maybe he is a little oblivious. A bit, to not realize who was Tsubasa before it was made explicit._

 _All right, one-two-three...! And everyone curse Oikawa! If Akaashi is Bokuto and AYaka's kissblocker, you can guess who is Iwaizumi and Kiku's kissblocker! ;D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : HAUNTING FEARS_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	36. Haunting Fears

_I am so sorry, you are so going to hate me at the end of this chapter._

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited me! :D_

 _ALSO IT WAS OIKAWA'S BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY! :D I AM SO TEMPTED TO START POSTING HIS FANFIC BUT I HAVE TO FIGHT IT OR IT'LL GET TOO MUCH! Oikawa's story s the final one, the very last one... So, I hope soon he'll have his fanfic here! ;)_

 _ **Krisia** : Poor Oikawa, I think that everyone took turns punching him for interrupting their kiss! XD *whispers for Iwaizumi* he's trying...!_

 _ **Cooliceprincess** : Oikawa didn't know, he's tyring his best supporting his friends and Iwa-chan is trying hisbest trying to get a fucking move on! XD_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** :If you find them so cute, I think you're going to love chapter 38! ;)_

 _ **Houshikun001** : I don't think Iwa-chanis procrastinating, he's actually trying very hard to get with Kiku and confess but you have to consider stress, and nerves, and the interuption from some people and;.. well, also, read this chapter! ;)_

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll like this chapter as well, even if it doesn't end on a note as light as the previous one! :)_

 _ **GeminiRose** : Kiku is so adorable, who can blame Iwaizumi for falling for her? ;)_

 _ **deadlywhisper21** : Well... I get what you're telling me but in the previous chapter, it wasn't Iwaizumi being oblivious, it was Oikawa and Tsubasa interrupting them from kissing and getting together. He actually tries very hard to confess and finally get his bloody kiss with Kiku. He'll have it soon._

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Believe me, Oikaw is the last one who would ruin Iwaizumi trying to kiss KIku. He's the reason why they "got" together mroe or less, it's because he pushed them together so, he's suffering just as much as all of us that they're being so SHY damn it! Aw, don't worry, Iwa-chan is not going to give up that eaisly and he'll keep trying to get his kiss and confession until it's done. Then, he'll sleep mroe easily._

 _ **DreamingInAnime24-7** : You're new, aren't you? (sorry sometimes I get confused with all the people...) I'm glad you liked my fanfic and Kiku's story. I'm trying my best to write a good story that keeps people interested, and a story that's as realistic as possible, with important messages to share. I KNOW! The setting for a kiss and confession was perfect! If only Oikawa hadn't called!_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXXVI : Haunting Fears

" _An awakened man who is driven by his heart and soul, can touch the heart of a woman he loves, without touching her"_

― **Angie** **k** **aran**

"… _And she loved a…boy very, very much– even more than she loved herself."_

— **Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree**

" _How can you love me,_

 _when all that is terrible_

 _exists within me?"_

— **Ranata Suzuki, Haiku Poem**

" _I'm only afraid of what I want."_

— **Veronica Roth, Divergent**

" _She was afraid to want things for herself. She didn't think she deserved them."_

— **Susan Choi, American Woman**

" _There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance."_

― **John Lennon**

" _Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I'm afraid that they're going to leave."_

— **Marilyn Manson**

" _He really really really shouldn't have done that. Amazing how much more obvious that became one second after it was too late."_

― **Eliezer Yudkowsky, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality**

When Hajime arrived home, he didn't realize his father was calling him, too busy daydreaming in his memories of what happened not long ago. In his room, he fell face first into his pillow, his huge grin never leaving his face as he turned around and stared at his ceiling.

"I almost kissed her…" He murmured, almost stunned to think back on the magical moment, "I almost kissed her…!"

He started laughing, thinking back on every time Oikawa, Makki and the others made fun of his incompetence – not only he had almost kissed Kiku, but he had been _that_ close to a confession with a sunset in the background! If only Oikawa hadn't called and interrupted him but as annoying as his friend was, Hajime was just too happy to hold onto his grudge.

"I almost kissed her! I almost _kissed_ her!" He exclaimed, rolling around happily, still not quite believing this blessed moment, "I almost–"

"You almost kissed her."

Hajime screamed, jumping up and turning to his father who was leaning casually against the doorway, arms crossed and an amused smile on his face.

"D-dad! You… you heard…?" He started, blushing terribly at being caught.

"That you almost kissed her? Yes, pretty sure I heard," he answered.

Hajime looked around nervously before thinking back on everything he and his father had talked about when it came to Kiku.

"And… you're not telling me to stay away from Kiku?" He asked curiously, half-expecting his father to tell him to back off.

Takashi took a deep breath in, his shoulder lifting up before falling down again.

"I can't force you to stay away from your not-girlfriend, I warned you of the risks and if you want to date her and kiss her, then go ahead. I can't control your life, I can only guide you – that's my job as father." He said with a reassuring smile.

Hajime smiled, sighing in relief to know that even if he wasn't totally happy about him dating Kiku with her story, his father was still here for him.

"Talking about my job as father – your mother says dinner's ready and I have to come and get you at the table. So, get moving, Ace." He said, pointing over his shoulder in the general direction of the dining-room/kitchen.

Hajime got up, following his father who couldn't help but tease:

"So, _almost_ kisser – what happened?" He asked with a grin.

"L-leave it!" Hajime exclaimed, blushing as he laughed at his embarrassment.

The following day, Hajime went for his run but ran for far longer and far further than he usually did to work on his stamina. Arriving at his goal, he took a moment to breathe, satisfied by his timing, and the simple fact he had run such a long distance by keeping the same pace. His legs were burning, though. Glad it was open, he pushed open the SPCA door, expecting to see Hayate – or better, Kiku at the entrance but there was no one. The doorbell had rung, announcing his arrival but despite waiting, no one came.

"Uh… Hello?" He called, knocking at the door for the animals.

He opened it but there was no one. The animals all looked up and became active when he showed up, they started hissing, meowing and barking, either out of happiness or fear of someone's sudden arrival. Hajime advanced forward, petting a few dogs and cats who seemed to be in need of love before going to the plexiglass cages.

"Hey, you," he greeted, leaning forward to see the bearded-dragon.

He was glad to see him, but also sad he hadn't been adopted yet and spending more and more time here. He had grown a little bit since he had last seen him. The bearded-dragon blinked up at Hajime and seemed to recognize him, moving his slow limbs forward, as if to say _"Hey back"._

"You grew up quite a bit since last time, didn't you? How you're doing, buddy? Not too lonely?" He asked, approaching his fingers to the cage.

"He'd definitely prefer to be in someone's home, but he's doing all right."

Startling, Hajime turned around, embarrassed to be caught cooing at the lizard by Hayate who smiled at him gently but raised an eyebrow:

"You know, you're not supposed to come in here alone. But I'll let you off the hook because you're Kiku's boyfriend."

"I-I'm not… we're not… a-and there was no one at the entrance and when I called… um… sorry…" He mumbled, glancing around nervously.

"Did you come to see Kiku or did you come to see the little buddy here?" Hayate asked, approaching the bearded-dragon's cage.

"I… was curious, about whether or not he had been adopted yet." Hajime answered before adding, "A little worried, I think, about how he was doing…"

"As you can see, he's still here. He's not doing well with people except a few exceptions. Actually, only with Kiku or I."

Hajime pouted, just as Hayate glanced at him then opened the cage to take the lizard out:

"Wanna hold him?" He asked.

But before Hajime could answer, he already had the bearded-dragon in his arms. The animal moved around a bit, before trying to climb on his shoulder. He looked around, straight at Hajime then settled in his arms carefully.

"U-um… I thought the only reason why he had appreciated me last time was because I had Kiku's scent on me…?" He asked hesitantly, a little scared of what the animal might do if he disliked people.

"Do _you_ have Kiku's scent on you right now?" Hayate asked, raising a teasing eyebrow.

"N-no…"

"Of course not, it's a day off. Unless you spent the night in her bed, there's no way you'd have her scent on you." Hayate continued with a wink, knowing he was embarrassing the high-schooler.

Hajime blushed at the thoughts invading his mind after this suggestion but then Hayate just shrugged, pointing at the dragon:

"I guess you're just one of the lucky ones he doesn't dislike, then," he said casually, "Are you considering adopting him?"

"I-I don't know… I came expecting him to be adopted already, to be honest but… I couldn't keep him out of my mind. A-and… I never had a pet before, I wouldn't know how to take care of him…"

 _He probably has different needs than Oikawa._ He thought to himself, pretty sure his friend was sneezing in his bedroom.

"Everyone has to start with a first pet. As long as you're well informed and doesn't neglect the animal, everything should be fine." Hayate said encouragingly.

"My parents…" Hajime added with a pout.

"Ah, parents are always troublesome… but it won't hurt to ask them, right?" Hayate continued.

"…You really want me to adopt him, don't you?" Hajime concluded, narrowing his eyes at him, absentmindedly caressing the bearded-dragon's side with his free hand.

"I want this little buddy to be happy in a good home. You seem like a good person who would take good care of him so, why not? A companion is always welcome and sometimes, it's not just the animal who ends up in good hands – the human taking him also ends up with a new and faithful friend."

Hajime looked down at the animal in his arms who was nestled against him, settled comfortably on his arm and enjoying his petting. Hayate smiled then spoke up again:

"I need to go fill some papers, put him back in his cage when you're done bonding." He said, already turning around.

Hajime spent some time with the bearded-dragon, thinking deeply about it. It was true he had imagined adopting him, but it was wishful thinking – his parents wouldn't agree with him suddenly having a pet lizard when his only experience taking care of an animal of some sort was capturing cicadas as a child to let them go, or Oikawa who was an alien in himself. And he was finishing his last year of high-school, he'd be busy, he hoped he'd start a new relationship with Kiku which meant spending more time with her, he had to prepare for the university and the National team…

" _The human taking him also ends up with a new and faithful friend."_

Thinking about university and friends, he suddenly realized that with Oikawa going to Tokyo, Hanamaki and Matsukawa doing their own things, he'd be alone for the first time. He didn't know what Kiku planned to do next year, but… there were chances she'd leave Miyagi Prefecture, depending on what she chose as a field of study.

He glanced down at the bearded-dragon who looked up at him, tilting his head on a side, almost hopefully.

"A faithful friend, uh…?" He murmured.

Lips thin, he put him back in his cage, the bearded-dragon looking at him with a sad hope, not quite understanding why he had been put back in the cage and why Hajime was walking away from him. Slowly, but away. It hurt his heart to have seen such a gaze from the poor animal… It was almost the same way Kiku had glanced at him sometimes: sad he'd leave or be less than she expected, but with the burning hope he would stay with her.

Hand on the door handle, he stopped, realizing that Kiku probably felt a lot like all of these animals. They had all been abandoned, some injured, by their previous owners or families and now… they were looking up at everyone coming in with the hope of a new home, of being cared for and loved. Just like Kiku. It was why she was helping out taking care of these animals – she had been through the same treatment and couldn't remain still at such misfortune.

For some time now, Hajime had wondered why, if their feelings for each other were so obvious, and if he kept forgetting about confessing, Kiku hadn't confessed herself. It usually was the girl confessing, anyway, so why didn't _she_ try confessing to him even once? But like these hurt animals, she was wary and shy and she didn't dare hold onto the hope he'd get attached to her. _Truly_ attached, that he'd care for her and he'd love her. Even if she seemed to be doing all right, even if she kept smiling, her ptsd couldn't be forgotten and she was… she was still haunted by her fears. The only way to make her realize how he really felt for her, was to confess. So that the unsaid feelings between them would finally be shared out in the open, so that their relationship would go to the next step and become official.

He glanced over his shoulder, in the direction of the bearded-dragon before looking down and lowering the door handle, leaving the animals behind but promising himself to come back.

"Uh, thank you…" He said awkwardly to Hayate.

He was at his desk and nodded, Hajime going straight for the door until Hayate coughed. He tapped on a little pile of booklets and fliers he had gathered for the high-schooler.

"Look it up a bit," he said, finally looking up.

Hajime took the fliers and booklets – it was all about first pets, lizard pets, etc.

"Thank you," he said.

"You know, it can help a lot to have a pet to look after. I know you have a pretty good and balanced life, from what Kiku told me… but it can really help someone feel better if they have a reason to get up in the morning – if a pet depends on them for their well-being, it gives a reason to live for their owner. Ever since Kiku has taken in Birb, then Pip and Kyuu, she's felt much better." Hayate explained with a little shrug, hoping Hajime would understand even more Kiku and her attachment to her companions.

Hajime paused, taking in the information then looking back at Hayate, a little stunned:

"You _know_. You know the truth about Kiku and… her story… don't you?" He asked hesitantly.

"I don't know as many details as her family, or you I suppose. But I know enough. It was a requirement to let her come help here, her parents insisted I knew enough to act according to the situation if she were to have a break-down or a panic attack here. Thankfully, she never had to face such a situation. I was always worried whenever she'd start crying when a new animal would arrive, injured or not, or when we had to send some to the needle… But she wasn't crying because of her own trauma reflected to these animals, she was crying because she's just _that_ kind. Her empathy… is her greatest strength, but also her greatest weakness."

He paused, glancing over at where the animals were before continuing with a sad smile:

"She loves helping people or animals, she finds strength in doing so, but when she can't…"

"She hurts," Hajime concluded, lowering his gaze.

He nodded before grinning:

"But you know that already! Don't you?" He continued before lifting up his finger, as if he had something particularly interesting to add, "Out of all the people she could have fallen in love with, I think she fell in love with the most suited person to her!" He exclaimed with a wink, making the Ace blush, "You're balanced, serious, kind, you understand her and you're aware of her strengths and weaknesses. No one could take care of her better than you! So…"

Hayate glanced down at his papers, a little sadly for all the hurt Kiku had faced, then smiled once again at Hajime:

"Take good care of her, okay?"

Hajime's heart beat faster, warming his entire body. It was strange having someone entrusting Kiku to him. Kiku's safety and her heart. But he would gladly accept the job if it meant seeing her eyes smiling everyday of his life.

"Thank you," he said, nodding to Hayate with a smile.

He saluted him, military style as the Ace went back home. After a quick shower, he sat down, starting to read all the pamphlets, fliers and other documents Hayate had given him then he researched everything he might need as other information on the internet, checking what people thought of a bearded-dragon as a pet, watching some videos… He was almost convinced it was the perfect pet for him, if it weren't for two details: his parents, and money.

"Hajime," His mother called, knocking at his door, "You'll have to tell me what you want to do on your birthday."

He turned around on his chair, staring at her, then glancing at his calendar. He hadn't forgotten his birthday per say, but it was still a few days away and…

"Will your friends come here, will you go out…? How many should I prepare food for?" She continued, knowing that if she didn't ask her son _now_ it'd go over his head eventually.

"U-um, I still… don't know, but I'll let you know in the week." He answered with a shrug.

She nodded, about to go out when he spoke up:

"Uh! Mom!" He called, making Umeko turn around curiously, "Out of curiosity did you and dad buy me a birthday gift yet or…?"

She was surprised he'd ask something like that – he hadn't openly ask for a present since he was a child and it was a battle every year for his birthday and for Christmas to find him a gift considering he _always_ shrugged it off or said _"whatever"_.

"Considering you didn't tell us what you want this year, no, we didn't yet. Is there anything you'd wish in particular?" She asked curiously.

Perhaps he wanted something special for his eighteenth birthday, he was almost an adult now, after all. _Almost_ , he'd always be her big baby, though.

Hajime hesitated, feeling awkward to ask for such a thing… he glanced at his notes then back at his mother, shrugging.

"I… I'm not sure, just… don't buy anything until I told you what I want this year, okay?" He requested.

"That's better than the usual _'I don't know'_ – but if you haven't decided by next Thursday, I'll consider it's another _'I don't know'_ and we'll go buy whatever we want whether you like it or not!" She said with a shrug.

She was about to leave the bedroom when she noticed his computer screen. She blinked then approached, an amused smile on her face:

"Why are you watching lizard videos? It's rare for you to watch something other than your series or the volleyball videos Tooru sends you."

"Ah, um, just… curious… Kiku… told me stuff about… lizards and, y'know…"

"Kiku again, uh?" She teased, glancing down at him with a smirk.

He flushed and closed the tab, looking up at his mother sheepishly. He almost felt as bad as the time she had caught him watching Game of Thrones during a particularly hot scene. She didn't like that he watched something as violent and um, _revealing_ as Game of Thrones but _everyone_ was watching – he had to keep up with the others, uh? And he loved this sort of historical, fantasy and epic series.

As if reading his thoughts, she chuckled, rummaging his hair and making it even messier than usual:

"Calm your nerves, Hajime, it's not like I caught you watching porn – though, I don't know if I'd be pissed you'd watch such things or glad you're a normally functioning teenager." She continued casually.

"Geh… thanks, mom…" He mumbled, flushing again.

"Thank goodness you _finally_ have a girlfriend, I was starting to worry, you know!" She continued, walking towards the door.

" _Mom!_ And I don't have a girlfriend! Yet…" He exclaimed, still embarrassed.

His parents were as terrible as Oikawa, he never got any rest from _anyone_ ever. She laughed, leaving him alone. A few minutes later, though, as worrying as it might for his mental sanity after dealing with his parents' teasing, he went to visit Oikawa. Umeko wasn't surprised to see him leave, these two would always spend their time together when they could.

"Hey, Oikawa," he greeted when he arrived in his friend's bedroom.

"Iwa-chan! I was about to call you to come over! I have something to show you!" Oikawa exclaimed as his friend sat next to him.

Without surprise, the Captain was watching volleyball videos, noting down everything he noticed about the video that might be interesting: new techniques, new tactics, moves from the players on both sides…

"Shouldn't you do your homework? Or spend some time with your girlfriend?" Iwaizumi asked.

"Homework done. And… I wanted a day for myself, focusing a bit on volleyball. Mari-chan understands." Oikawa answered.

Iwaizumi gave him a long stare. Oikawa spent _everyday_ focusing on himself and volleyball. There was no way Marika would bear with it for much longer, just like all the others before.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you something, about my birthday – did you buy any… birthday gift yet?" Iwaizumi asked curiously.

As surprised as Umeko had been previously, Oikawa blinked at his friend before shaking his head no.

"I had a few ideas, but… no? Not yet? Do you want something in particular? Ah! Let me guess!"

Before Hajime could protest, Tooru went away, looking for something hidden carefully in a few storage boxes then triumphantly throwing a little box to Iwaizumi. He caught it and frowned immediately, an annoyed vein popping at his forehead.

"Why?" He asked him, Oikawa sitting back at his side.

"Well! You're going to be with Kiku-chan soon~! It's important to stay safe! What better birthday gift than some lovey-dovey moment with your one and only~?" Oikawa hummed proudly, hands to the ceiling as if his choice of 'gift' was obvious.

"…No. I don't want condoms." He replied, pushing the box of condoms back in Oikawa's hands.

"Safety, Iwa-chan, _safety!_ You don't want to be a father at eighteen, right?" He teased, pushing the box back towards Iwaizumi's chest.

"I'm not! What the! I don't need condoms from you! I have enough already and I'm not planning on having sex with Kiku for my birthday! What are you thinking, you perverted Assikawa?!"

"You have _enough_ already? Then, you've been planning it anyway! You want to do it!"

"My father gave them to me some time ago! Just! Don't!"

"Just admit it, Iwa-chan~! You are lusting for Kiku-chan~!"

As they bickered, the box of condoms kept being pushed against one another until Iwaizumi got tired of this teasing and threw the box, full spike power, at Oikawa's head. It flew off, the condoms spilling all around his room as he dramatically fell on the floor.

"I am touched! I am dying!" Oikawa exclaimed, spread all over the floor as if wounded from a battle.

Iwaizumi just had time to roll his eyes that the door opened and Oikawa's mother looked suspiciously in the room.

"M-mom!" Tooru exclaimed, jumping and laying on the condoms but not only it was too late, but he couldn't hide them all.

"…I won't say a thing. Just… don't scream about condoms, it's… confusing." She muttered, closing the door after glancing at the two young men.

Tooru fell on the floor, feeling stupid and embarrassed. And he was trying _so hard_ to keep his sexual life a secret from his parents…! Hajime laughed until he received the empty box on his head.

"A-anyway, back to business. You wanted to ask for your birthday gift. What do you want then?" Tooru asked a minute later, slowly gathering all the condoms back in the box.

"Yeah, I uh… I had an idea, but it's really expensive and I thought that I'd ask everyone some money for my birthday to pay it, instead of asking my parents for a few months of pocket money in advance." He explained sheepishly.

" _That_ expensive, uh? You won't tell me what it is?"

"Not until I'm sure of it," he answered.

"Isn't it a little impersonal, though? Just money, nothing else?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hajime just shrugged it off and Tooru knew it wasn't the sort of things that mattered for him – as long as his friends had thought of his birthday, he was happy. He didn't need gift, but he was always smiling brightly when people offered him one.

"All right then, if it's birthday boy's wish," Oikawa concluded with a smile.

"Another thing, I contacted Kanemoto-san's boyfriend. Y'know, the fourth spiker?" Iwaizumi started, pulling out a paper from his pocket.

"Bokuto… something, right? I didn't know you were in touch…" Oikawa said, surprised.

"I had asked Kanemoto-san, and well, he seems like a good guy. I asked him about his team's practice and training, and his personal training regiment." He explained, giving the paper to Oikawa.

He read carefully the new training regiment he had thought of, a thoughtful pout appearing on his lips.

"Mmm… seems tough. I don't know if the rest of the team will keep up, though. The second-years, perhaps but the first-years… they still struggle to keep up with us when we have stamina and power-focused trainings."

"They don't have to do that much, but it'd be a good thing if as many of us as possible could follow such a training. I thought we could spice it up a little bit more for the summer training camp, though – all the while following everyone's level. I also made some personal training regiments for you and I – to prepare for the National team."

"Mmm… a training from a top five spiker, from a powerhouse of Tokyo…" Oikawa hummed, pensive.

"If that's the training from a powerhouse of Tokyo, then we need to get just as strong to win against Shiratorizawa and go to Nationals." Iwaizumi said with a determined voice.

Oikawa smirked, glancing over at his friend:

"The power to beat Ushiwaka and go to Nationals… preparing ourselves for the National team… Let's do this!" He exclaimed.

Iwaizumi nodded proudly, bumping their fists together before discussing for a while longer the details of the new training regiment for themselves, and the team.

"Are you going to confess to Kiku-chan tomorrow, considering there's no practice?" Oikawa asked suddenly.

Startled by the sudden change of topic, and to an embarrassing one at that…! Hajime startled and flushed, not quite knowing what to say.

"U-um, m-maybe… I don't know, I'll see how it goes…" He mumbled, looking away.

But it was true it was a perfect opportunity. No practice meant he had all the occasions to ask her to come with him somewhere peaceful where he could confess.

"Do you want me to ask Kindaichi to create a curtain of falling leaves – it'd be more romantic with flowers but the sakura season is over and there aren't that many trees with flowers at the moment around the high-school – ah, unless you want to confess somewhere else?! Somewhere more romantic than our boring school grounds?!"

"Leave Kindaichi, and _everyone_ else including _yourself_ , OUT of it, will you?" Iwaizumi mumbled, glaring at him, "Just… I'll go with the atmosphere of the moment… if you _hadn't_ interrupted me yesterday, I would have confessed all right, it would have been perfect but you _had_ to drag in your annoying-self at the worst time, seriously…" He hissed, glaring in front of him at some invisible point.

Oikawa stared at him with his fish face (as Iwaizumi liked to call his stupid, clueless expression), eyes wide and totally stunned. Understanding his mistake, Iwaizumi gasped, blushing and trying to cover his mouth.

"Ah…! Crap…" He mumbled, but it was too late.

"Y-you tried to confess to Kiku-chan?! And you didn't tell me?! You were with _her?!_ When?! What happened– how?! YOU TRIED TO _CONFESS_ TO KIKU-CHAN?!" Oikawa shouted, shaking his friend excitedly to know all the juicy details.

 _And that's why I didn't want to tell him yet_ … He thought to himself, but he ended up telling him everything he needed to know. At first, Hajime wanted to keep their almost-kiss to himself… but excitement took over him and he ended up telling his friend about it. Oikawa, obviously, was over the moon for him and he only encouraged him even more to confess the following day.

"She's ready for you to confess! She _wants_ you to confess! Don't waste another opportunity like that! Go for it, Iwa-chan!" He exclaimed enthusiastically.

Hajime rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks burning. It sure would be stupid to not confess after trying to kiss her… but gods was it nerve-wracking.

The next Monday, Hajime stared at himself in the mirror, trying yet again to tie his dark red tie but no matter how much he'd try today it didn't want to collaborate. Or he was too nervous. He decided the tie didn't want to collaborate. He gave up on the seventh try and left it half-tied and mostly loose, catching his bag and going to school with the hope that despite his struggle with the tie he wouldn't be late and miss Kiku – he usually left right on time to cross paths with her. _By_ _accident_ , not that he was waiting for her on purpose or anything. Total accident.

As planned – _accidentally_ planned, obviously – he arrived in the same time as her and he blessed Oikawa having overslept (accidentally planned as well, but Iwa-chan wasn't aware of it~) because now Hajime and Kiku were alone, calmly going to their classroom.

"T-there isn't any practice tonight," he started suddenly.

 _Oh fuck, here it goes, I'm asking her to go somewhere with me_ … He thought, the realization that this was happening hitting him more than the actual words.

"I know, like every Mondays, isn't it?" Kiku continued with an adorable smile, eyes sparkling beautifully.

Hajime was lost for a moment, staring at her then he shook his head to wake up and focus on his mission. He swallowed hard, blushing and praying it wouldn't be noticed.

"Do you… want… to spend time with me? Somewhere? After school? C-considering there's no practice I thought perhaps we could… hang out…" He continued, heart beating nervously as he waited for her answer.

"Oh…" She murmured, glancing down.

 _Oh no, please don't say you're busy, I won't have the courage to ask this again. Don't be busy, don't be busy, don't be busy…!_

"Will… will the others be here…?" She asked hesitantly, not daring to meet his gaze but blushing.

Realizing she thought he had proposed a team hang-out, he quickly shook his head – too quickly because it felt forced and awkward:

"NO!" He exclaimed way too quickly and way too loudly from the way people glanced their way.

He blushed even more, Kiku glancing up at him shyly not making things any easier for his poor heart.

"I-I mean… unless… you… want them here but I thought it could be just… just the two of us…?" he asked in a low, hopeful voice.

Kiku stared up at him, breathless a moment when she met his intense green eyes. She almost felt dizzy and quickly glanced away, too embarrassed to keep staring into his eyes, but her sweet smile and blushed cheeks were enough to reassure Hajime.

"I-I'd love to…" She answered, making him sigh in relief.

He almost melted in a puddle of nerves right here and then but thankfully, Shinobu suddenly showed up and for once, he was glad she took Kiku's focus away from him. One more glance his way and he was dead, stricken down by her adorableness.

"It looks like things are going all right for the moment…~" Oikawa murmured from afar, hiding with Hanamaki and Matsukawa behind the corner of the hall.

The three ignored the way people glanced their way, wondering what three of the most popular boys of the high-school could possibly be doing…

"He looked like he was about to collapse, are you sure it's going to be all right?" Hanamaki asked, glancing at the setter.

"Sure it will! Probably… I _hope_ …"

"Let's just trust our Ace. He can do it. I think." Mattsun said with a shrug.

They didn't realize that another group of people was staring from afar at the scene as well, but they didn't look quite as gleeful as the volleyball players.

At lunch, even if Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki mysteriously disappeared instead of joining Iwaizumi and Akiyama, they couldn't be left just the two of them alone when Shinobu suddenly tagged along, making the Ace grit his teeth. But one smile from his Kiku and he was all flowers and hearts once again. He was too happy at the perspective of spending the end of the afternoon with Kiku to be negative at the moment. But he'd also confess, and wait for her answer, making him anxious and his stomach all tight all over again before he'd remember that he didn't have to worry for anything. Things will go well. He hoped. Tight stomach again…

"Are you all right, Iwaizumi-san?" Kiku asked once they were back in their classroom, "You didn't eat much at lunch and you were quiet…"

"A-ah, uh, well just… don't feel like eating too much when I don't have practice," he answered sheepishly.

She didn't seem totally convinced by his lie but decided to trust him, nodding lightly. During their afternoon classes, he was unfocused, constantly glancing around, tapping with his foot or his pen against his notebook, his gaze wandering around. He glanced at her several times, enough for Kiku to notice – even if with the buzzing atmosphere around him, her attention was on him without his glances. Several times he ended up with a smile on his face for no reason, Kiku observing him curiously.

Then, she thought back on what he had asked her this morning: to see her after school, to spend time together… The last time they had been alone together, they had shared a magical moment. He had held her hand. Their eyes had said everything they needed to know. He had almost kissed her… All that was left was for both of them to say out loud what they already knew deep down in their hearts.

Suddenly nervous, but excited, but _oh-so-nervous,_ Kiku was just as impatient for the boring classes to end, for _their_ afternoon, to Hajime and her to start… To be alone with him and hopefully… _hopefully_ …

A smile tugged at her lips, an adorable, shy smile she tried to keep down while still being in class. But her eyes were sparkling excitedly and her heart was beating impatiently.

When the bell rang, at long last, Hajime stood up first, excitedly, his energy almost bursting from his body. He had already put everything in his bag, turning towards Kiku with a smile:

"Akiya–"

"Akiyama-san!"

They both looked up at Muraki, one of their classmates, approaching the girl's desk:

"Could you help me out with the papers we have to give back to the teachers? It's too heavy for me on my own…" She started, glancing sheepishly at the pile of papers on the desk.

Kiku wanted to tell her that there were plenty of other classmates she could ask to, but she didn't dare say it, pouting lightly. Iwaizumi didn't have that much heart and frowned at Muraki, annoyed people kept getting in the way:

"Can't you ask someone else? We have to go somewhere." He mumbled.

Muraki blinked at him, surprised by his tone. He rarely expressed his annoyance towards anyone else but Oikawa, or his friends in general. Tension sparkled and Kiku glanced between the two, before swallowing and standing up:

"I-it's fine, I'm going to help you out, Muraki-san. It won't take much time and I'll meet you at the gymnasium, Iwaizumi-san." She said with a smile.

He didn't seem very satisfied but nodded then left to wait for her. Always helpful, Kiku helped Muraki bring the papers to the teachers' room, both smiling and chatting very lightly even if Kiku stumbled over her words and was too shy – Muraki had never talked to her until now, it was unnerving…

"You seem pretty close with Iwaizumi-san, is this since you became the volleyball team's manager?" She asked with a smile as they returned to their classroom for their bags.

"U-um, I-I d-don't know…"

"How lucky you are~ So many of us wanted to be their manager, but it was impossible… It must be nice, spending all your time with them… you must be all very good friends, right~?"

"E-everyone is… v-very nice…" Kiku nodded.

They entered their classroom, Muraki stopping next to Kiku with a smile, hands in her back:

"But Iwaizumi-san seems to like you very much, in particular. You spend more time with him than with anyone else on the team, don't you?"

"I-I suppose… but w-we're classmates… that's why…" She answered shyly.

Muraki's smile dropped and her eyes narrowed dangerously at Kiku. She immediately tensed, recognizing this gaze. A threatening gaze.

"Cut the crap, Akiyama. You think we wouldn't notice? That you're all over Iwaizumi-san?"

"I-I d-don't see… what…"

"Just stop it! It's _obvious!_ Everyone can see that you're head over heels for him! Now, I don't care what sort of pretty illusions and fairytale you got stuck in your head but stop dreaming. He's not for you. He deserves better than a fucked up psycho who is so crazy she needed a year at the hospital! And let's be realistic, there's _no way_ Iwaizumi-san could like someone like _you!"_

Muraki stepped towards Kiku, forcing her to back away against her desk, holding onto it, as she pointed a finger at the blue-eyed girl:

"You're not _good enough_ for him! He deserves better, you'd only stain and shame him! So, do something for everyone's sake, even if you can't help being his classmate and his manager, stay _away_ from Iwaizumi-san, got it? Stop hanging out with him and let him be free, he doesn't need to put up with someone like you. He's just too nice to break your heart, but you'd only be a burden for him! Understood?"

Kiku lowered her gaze, Muraki took it as a "yes" and huffed, turning around, grabbing her bag then leaving the classroom.

Kiku remained motionless for a long moment, her expression hidden by her hair. Then, slowly, she let go of her desk and took her bag, leaving the classroom and slowly walking down to exit the building and join…

 _Should she_ join Iwaizumi-san? Muraki didn't want her to approach him, _but_ …

Kiku's steps slowed down until she came to a stop, at the side of the main building, in the park side of the high-school grounds. It was the way she usually took for the gymnasium. Where Iwaizumi waited for her. She could imagine him walking around impatiently, an excited smile on his face. Just like he had been this afternoon. _She_ had been so eager as well. Her stomach had been fluttering with butterflies at the idea of what he'd say, what he'd do… but now, her stomach was tight in fear and worry.

She glanced up and saw her own reflection in the windows of the first floor.

" _He deserves better."_

Kiku knew Hajime deserved better. She knew it better than anyone, that was why she had spent over two years praying for his happiness, no matter who he'd come to be with. He was so kind and good-hearted, so confident and strong, how could people not like him? But _her_ … she was his total opposite. People disliked her, ran away from her, mocked her… She didn't have her place at his side, or anywhere near him for that matter. Even just as friends, people disliked the relationship between her and Hajime.

 _I'm too ugly, too fat, too hideous for him to like me… Muraki is right, I blinded myself with illusions. He would never like me. I'm too messed up for that. He deserves better. Someone pretty and kind and who deserves to be by his side. Someone who wouldn't burden him…_

" _You'd only be a burden for him!"_

Even if deep down, in her heart, she knew that Muraki had said all that out of jealousy and pettiness, Kiku couldn't help the tiny voice in the back of her mind saying _what if_ … What if he was nice with her because it was in his nature, not because he liked her particularly? What if he was smiling at her because she was a good friend and nothing else? What if he put up with her because he pitied her? _What if…?_

No matter how hard she tried, people always rejected her, people never loved her. He wouldn't be the first one to walk away from her life and leave her alone. Why would she be surprised by it? It was kind enough from him to bear with her.

Kiku wanted to hold onto the good memories, the shared gazes, the silent conversations, the gleaming eyes… his hand holding hers… his lips approaching hers… but the stinging words kept haunting her, bringing back all the bad memories.

" _There's_ _ **no way**_ _Iwaizumi-san could like someone like_ _ **you!"**_

" _That's why_ _ **no one**_ _loves you and why everyone will_ _ **always**_ _leave you!"_

"Kik– erh, Akiyama! San!"

Suddenly hearing his voice, Kiku looked up, thunderstruck to see Iwaizumi running to her with a huge smile, her heart missing a beat. Arrived next to her, his smile didn't waver, and he rubbed the back of his neck, flushing adorably:

"I got too impatient, I couldn't wait anymore so I came to meet you! Are you done helping Muraki? Can we go?" He asked with an excited chuckle.

Kiku stared at him, stunned by his mere presence. He seemed so happy she couldn't help but let her lips tilt upwards… but it was so tiny, and her gaze was so doubtful and sad that Hajime noticed it. He blinked, suddenly worried:

"Is everything all right? Did something happen?" He asked, voice tight.

He leaned forward to see Kiku's expression but she forced a smile on her face, shaking her head lightly:

"N-no, I'm fine, everything is fine," she said, obviously hiding the truth.

He wasn't fooled, he could tell something had happened. Her smile didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes didn't find him.

"Every time you say _"I'm fine"_ it means that you're not. Is something the matter?" He asked softly.

To encourage her to open up to him, to _trust_ him, he took her hand gently. He barely brushed her fingers, startling her a little but she didn't pull away so he entwined his fingers with hers.

"You know you can talk to me if you need to…" He continued, brows furrowed.

Kiku took a shaky breath then shook her head, smiling but her eyes were down.

"I'm all right, I promise. It's… it's just… everything is just so overwhelming…!" She said with a chuckle.

It _was_ overwhelming – his warmth spreading to her through the touch of his hand. His body so close to hers. His soft gaze feeling like she was safe and sound. The way he managed to make her heart beat so much stronger, so much livelier than a moment ago. Kiku looked up at Hajime, eyes a little teary from how _overwhelmed_ she felt. Muraki and whoever else be forgotten – he made her _happy_ , he made her feel _alive_ and _loved_. All with just one gaze and a tender touch.

Hajime felt it as well, the moment Kiku stopped holding back from him and looked up at him, for the first time since he had left her in the classroom, with her heart wide open for him to take. Feeling the same magical atmosphere as the other day, he knew that their eyes said everything. He smiled giddily and moved towards her. She didn't pull away so he leaned down, their eyes never wavering, knowing what was coming and accepting it all. Kiku closed her eyes, tilting her head upwards and he smiled, letting his free hand brush her cheek. Her skin was soft and warm and he closed his eyes. Both were smiling, hearts impatient to feel one another through their kiss.

" _That's why_ _ **no one**_ _loves you and why everyone will_ _ **always**_ _leave you!"_

Kiku's smile disappeared. Her fingers in Hajime's trembled. His lips were about to brush against hers when she suddenly pulled away.

Shocked by her sudden move, Hajime stopped, watching her hesitantly, his hand dropping from her cheek, not quite knowing what to do. He stared at the girl, not understanding what just happened. Everything was going fine, they were having a moment, they were about to kiss…

"S-sorry… I-I'm sorry…" She whispered, avoiding his gaze.

"Did… did I do something wrong…?" He asked in a low voice, worried he might have gone too far, too fast.

Kiku looked back at him, tears in her eyes and lips trembling. Her eyes lit by love, softness and trust a moment ago, was now shattered with fears and sadness.

Hajime's heart missed a beat and he swallowed hard, hating to see such a look on her face. He just wanted her to smile and keep smiling and laugh and smile more… Why… what had happened…?

"I-I'm sorry… I… I'm not good enough for you… I'm sorry…!" Kiku breathed, heart shattering.

She pulled her hand away from his and turned around, running away. Her sudden move almost made him lose his balance and he felt dizzy by the sudden turn of events. What… what did she just say…? What did he _do…?_

"W-wait…! Ki-Kiku!" He called, trying to go after her to explain, to apologize, to try to understand…!

He ran after her, trying to find what might have gone wrong. Did he touch her in a way that she disliked? Did he remind her of something bad? He had tried to be gentle and to wait for her to trust him a-and she had been waiting for his kiss, he hadn't imagined it, right?!

 _What an idiot…! What an idiot…! Confess first, kiss after! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Of course you'd scare her away if you suddenly try kissing her!_ He thought, angry at himself.

But by the time he reached the entrance, Kiku was gone already, her bicycle taking her away faster than his legs.

He was about to run after her anyway, go all the way to the bakery to explain himself, to confess once and for all so she could understand he _wanted_ her but… he froze, unable to take a step forward.

" _I'm not good enough for you…"_ She had said.

 _What did you mean? What did I do to let you think that…?_ He thought, biting down on his lower lip.

Heart a mess, fists tight, he remained frozen on spot.

 _Damn it…! What should I do…?!_

* * *

 _*goes into hiding next to Oikawa who received such annoyed hatred because of last chapter* *guys like us have to stick togehter to survive after all*_

 _*whispers* There are kisses next chapter, if it can make it up to the end of this chapter...?_

 _*prays*_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : PROMISE OF HAPPINESS (not just for Kijime, but all of you, right? ;D)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	37. Promise of Happiness

_I know you hate the angst, but I promise it was the last of it - you'll have what you want Chapter 39! ;)_

 _Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited! :D_

 _ **Starrat** : I hope you'll like this one as well! ;)_

 _ **mikohoshina** : Soon, very soonn the angst will be over, I promise! :D_

 _ **geeksdarling** : I dare because I'm the writer and I know that you want so badly to see them together that you'll keep reading until it's the case, angst or not. :3 Thank you so much for what you said, I hope you'll keep getting carried away ont eh rollercoaster of emotions, then! ;) As for a box of tissues, I used a lot as well writing my fanfics! You're not the only one suffering, if it can be of any comfort? :D Waah, a new reader, I'm happy there are new people still starting to read my stories considering most of the people are the ones from my first big Haikyuu fanfic "Sowlmates" (Bokuto x OC) You signed with "xoxo", are you British? If it's not too initmate for an answer, just curious~!_

 _ **cuddlebunny0330** : It just happened that one of Iwa-chan's fangirl got jealous of hisattention to Kiku and got in the way of their love. So cliché, now that I think of it... I'm glad you feel lots of emotions reading my fanfics, it's my goal! :D And there's some fluff in this chapter too! ;)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Happy Birthday, a little late! And I'm sorry for the disappointment...! ^^" There is like 85% of cuteness and fluff starting from the end of this chapter to... well, the rest of the story~ After Chapter 39, it'll be a 100%! :D_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : I agree with you, but it's easier said than done. Bad words, even if you try ignorin them, always end up likke a vicious snake poisoning your mind. For people like Kiku who has anxiety and a difficult past, it's even worse. As for a confession... read thiis chapter~! ;)_

 _ **Krisia** : *helps you out cursing Muraki* *joins the Kiku-protection-team (it's too big for a squad, it's the whole volleyball team and her friends and family, and probably this fanfic's readers)*_

 _ **forevertrash97** : You can call me anything you want, sweetie~! ;) Oikawa did nothing, why would he be slapped the poor boy?! *goes comforting a confused and whining Oikawa* Once again, Hajime TRIED, he's trying his best the poor boy as well... *goes encourage a distraught Iwaizumi* Oh dear, indebted to me? This is too much, but thank you~! :D_

 _ **Aquafin** : I'm glad you liked the chapters, and I hope you'll like what will happen next! :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXXVII : Promise of Happiness

" _Some friends don't understand this. They don't understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you're wonderful just the way you are. They don't understand that I can't remember anyone ever saying that to me."_

― **Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation**

" _Our doubts are traitors,_

 _and make us lose the good we oft might win,_

 _by fearing to attempt."_

― **William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure**

" _Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find."_

― **William Shakespeare, The Passionate Pilgrim**

" _I'm not into convincing people I'm worthy. I'm into people who'll convince me on my worst days that I'm still worth the world."_

— **Unknown**

" _Love is the most difficult and dangerous form of courage. Courage is the most desperate, admirable and noble kind of love."_

— **Delmore Schwartz**

" _He's not the heart and flowers kind of guy, but he's the heart and soul kind, and fuck if every girl would rather that than flowers."_

― **Jay McLean, More Than This**

" _I dared to love you, even when you said you weren't worth it at all."_

— **Unknown**

" _I've had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy."_

— **Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood**

" _I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable. I just want you to know that you're very special… and the only reason I'm telling you is that I don't know if anyone else ever has."_

— **Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower**

" _Probably the Biggest Insight… is that Happiness is not just a place, but also a process…"_

— **Ed Diener**

Bicycle falling on the ground, Kiku ran up the stairs and straight into her bedroom, ignoring her mother calling her as she fell on her bed, hiding her face in her pillows. The scene kept coming back in her mind. More than the words of Himura Souma years ago, or Muraki's jealousy, what hurt her most was the distressed and sad look on Hajime's face when she had pulled away. He didn't understand what was happening but… but what should she do now?!

Muraki was right: she wasn't good enough for someone as breathtaking as Hajime, she'd only shame him. Himura was right: she couldn't be loved, no one ever did and no one ever will. And… more importantly than their words… she couldn't bring him such pain. Her past, her ptsd, her scars… all of it was too much for _her_ , what would it be for Hajime? She saw her family and Yuuna so often hurt by it, ever since Hajime had learned the truth he's been… careful around her, as if tiptoeing, not being himself. She knew they all cared for her enough to be hurt by her past but she couldn't inflict it to Hajime. She loved him too much to bring him such pain…

" _I'm not leaving! I'm not leaving you!_ _ **Ever!"**_

Kiku's heavy breathing calmed down and even if she kept her face hidden in her pillow, her hold on it wasn't quite as desperate as a moment ago…

" _I'm here if you need to talk to me. I'm not going to break down just because of what you're telling me, I'm your friend and… I want you to trust me. I want you to have someone, a friend, to hold onto. Someone you'll never doubt of. You're not alone anymore… okay?"_

" _You're the one I trust."_ She had said.

And yet, she had run away the moment someone reminded her of her worthless being compared to the amazing Ace. She doubted Hajime the moment he was leaning down to express his feelings for her. She doubted him at the worst moment. Was it doubt… or was it fear…?

"I trust you…" She whispered, voice smothered by her pillow, "I trust _you_ but… I'm not _good enough_ for you… you deserve _better_ …"

Slowly, she moved away from her pillow and sat up, taking out her phone. She tried calling the only person she could talk to but… Yuuna didn't answer. She was at practice and even if Kiku desperately tried to call her a second and third time… she couldn't answer.

 _Pam_.

Kiku didn't react at whatever had hit her window.

 _Pam_.

She was pretty sure she knew who was bothering her.

 _Pam_.

Makki was probably bored or something.

 _Pam_.

He'll give up soon his usual, annoying-self.

 _Pam. Pam. Pam._

…

 _Pam. Pam._

Sighing, Kiku finally looked over her shoulder, sending a harsh look at the window just in front of her. Without surprise, Hanamaki was here, window open and throwing a volley ball against her window, catching it again before sending it in a perfect arc to receive it back in his hands. He raised an eyebrow as he caught the volley ball in his hands, silently asking her to open the window.

She moved onto her bed, opening the window and he didn't wait long to speak up:

"What happened?" He asked.

"…What do you mean?"

He was no fool – he knew there were about 98% of chances that Iwaizumi would confess today. These two had agreed to spend their time together after school. He had been surprised to see Kiku come back in such a hurry, looking quite distraught. Knowing the two, it wasn't hard to guess that something had happened to cause such a look on her face.

"I know something happened with Iwaizumi, what makes you look so gloomy?" He asked again, crossing his arms over his windowsill.

Kiku cursed him for knowing her too well, well enough at least to guess something had happened. At least, he wasn't teasing her. He hadn't ever since learning that she had been adopted and abused. He was not as much of an asshole anymore.

"Come on, I won't tell anyone," he continued.

"We both know you're going to tell Oikawa and Mattsun and even possibly Iwaizumi-san as soon as possible…" She mumbled, sending him a hard look.

" _True_ , but that's because we're bros. Other than them, I won't tell anyone. Promise."

She glared at him, half-heartedly. Since when did he do _promises…?_ Not quite knowing how to behave with this new Makki, and because she desperately needed to talk to someone, _anyone_ , Kiku leaned against the wall, draping her arm over her windowsill and putting her head down on it.

"…I think I ruined all my chances with Iwaizumi-san… No, I never had any chance with him to begin with…" She started, looking down sadly.

"…Ok, but what happened?"

"Someone reminded me of my worth, I'm not good enough for him so… I… I ran away… I probably broke his heart again… he really deserves someone better, who doesn't have to deal with a story such as mine all the time…" She explained, eyes kept down.

Makki kept his lips thin, wondering who could have made her think this way, without being quite surprise by it. Iwaizumi was one of the most popular guy at school and he wasn't exactly hiding his feelings for Kiku – eventually, some people would get jealous. And _of course_ , Kiku would believe them. Her self-confidence was too fragile to hold on against bitter words. _Of course_ , she'd want the best for Iwaizumi because she loved him _that much,_ but she didn't think _she_ could be the best for him.

"Don't you think _he_ should be the judge of that?" Hanamaki said calmly.

Kiku looked up at him, stunned as he shrugged absentmindedly:

"Iwaizumi isn't stupid, he never had a girlfriend before because he wanted to wait for the _right one._ If he thinks it's you, then so be it. Who cares about what others think of your relationship, of what _you_ feel for him or what _he_ feels for you? As long as you guys are happy, it's all that matters. Right?"

Kiku's lips feel open, shocked by his words. She would have never imagined Hanamaki of _all_ people backing her up… after all these years, he was… finally acting like a friend…?

"You… you of all people saying _"who cares about what others think"_ …? What… happened to you and your popularity to preserve…?" Kiku asked with a stormy gaze and a sad smile.

Takahiro glanced away, chin on the palm of his hand, pretending not to care when really, he _did_ care.

"Someone made me realize that there is more in the world than my own self-centered interests. Some people get fucked up in life, they don't have to be fucked up over and over again until they can't hold on anymore. You… don't have to keep getting fucked up – by life, people… just choose happiness and ignore whatever the others would say. You're happy with Iwaizumi, aren't you? And he's happy with you so just… confess already… you guys are disgustingly sweet, it's annoying… I'm tired of seeing you pining after one another, seriously…" He mumbled, frowning to himself and trying to keep up the appearance.

She stared at him, realizing that for the first time in years, he was putting her and her happiness first. And his friend's. _Their_ happiness, _together_ , even if it meant being a shame to him or the volleyball club or…

"I told you, didn't I? That he doesn't give up. He didn't leave you when he learned what happened to you, he's not going to leave you _now_ because you freaked out and think you're not good enough for him." Makki concluded, looking back at Kiku.

Unable to say anything after such comforting words, from the most unexpected person in the universe… Kiku only stared at him. Until he grinned at her teasingly:

"You guys _really_ are idiots, though. It's impressive."

She startled in annoyance, but before she could reply something sharp, he sent the volley ball right against her forehead. It bounced back to him and he smirked at her glare as she rubbed the red spot on her forehead.

"And here I was starting to think that you had upgraded from an asshole to a regular dick…" She mumbled, "You didn't change at all…"

"All I hear are compliments~!"

"You're messed up."

"Maybe, but I'm also stunningly hot, which makes up for it."

She rolled her eyes and before she could close the window to keep herself safe from too much stupidity, Makki spoke up again:

"Oi, why do you like him?" He asked.

Kiku looked back at him with big eyes and he repeated his question:

"Why do you like Iwaizumi?" He asked, tilting his head on a side, "I know you've liked him for the past three years, but how did you end up falling for him?"

"B-because he's…"

 _Because he's sweet, and kind, and soft, and honest, and strong, and his smile is the most precious thing in the universe, and because he's confident and everyone looks up to him, because he's… he's…_

None of it felt right. It was so much more than that. What she felt for him…

"It's strange…" She whispered, but somehow her voice was still carried over to Takahiro a few meters away, "I never asked myself why…" She realized, shaken up.

He stared at her, tempted to call her a weirdo but it was obvious she didn't like him for Iwaizumi's looks or any other petty reasons… He was tempted to know why, but perhaps she needed this answer more than he did.

"Figure it out, then go face him. It's time you act following your heart instead of letting fear control you."

He was about to close the window, discussion over when Kiku spoke up, a little shyly:

"T-Takahiro…! T-thank you… for listening to me and… giving me these advices…" She whispered, glancing down in embarrassment.

He stared at her, a little surprised, then smirked:

"Thank me with some patisserie. Also, when you'll go confess, get him patisserie too – he'll definitely melt." He said, closing the window and disappearing from her view.

She smiled lightly before closing her window and letting herself fall on her bed, staring at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"Why… I like him…" She whispered, closing her eyes.

 _Oikawa family's apartment…_

"All right, what did you do this time?" Oikawa asked, without much surprised, when Iwaizumi showed up with a forlorn expression on his face.

"I didn't do anything! Except… maybe… I… I don't know what happened…" Iwaizumi mumbled guiltily.

"Just… tell me what you did…" Oikawa sighed, both sitting down.

Hajime flushed, not knowing whether or not he should start by saying he tried kissing her right away or if he should tell the whole thing…

"I scared her away… I-I don't get it, the mood was great, we were having a moment, I leaned down to kiss her but then… she just… ran away…" He said, shoulders dropping.

"…You confessed before trying to kiss her, didn't you?" Oikawa asked for confirmation, raising an eyebrow.

Hajime didn't answer, turning his head away. Understanding the problem, or he thought he did, Oikawa hit his forehead with the palm of his hand:

"Iwa-chan! You can't just kiss your not-yet-girlfriend _before_ confessing! Of course she'd get scared if you suddenly jumped on her without warning!"

"Oi! She _wanted_ the kiss! I didn't jump up on her like some pervert! I approached and I held her hand and she didn't run away, so I leaned down and waited! She closed her eyes and _waited_ for the kiss! Just before it'd happen, she ran off saying she was sorry and wasn't good enough for me! I didn't assault her!" He exclaimed annoyingly to be accused of such thing.

Tooru opened his lips to say something before stopping, frowning a little:

"Wait… she said what at the end?"

"…That she was sorry and wasn't good enough for me… What did I do to make her think such a thing…?" He mumbled sadly, looking at his hands.

"Maybe it wasn't you."

Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi looked up when someone entered the room, Hanamaki knocking quickly at the door even if he was already seen.

"I just talked with Kiku, she's a mess and she's feeling guilty for what she's done to you." He said, sitting down casually.

Hajime groaned, covering his face with his hands, letting himself fall on his side.

"What did you mean by that, Makki?" Oikawa asked, looking at the wing-spiker.

"Kiku didn't give me the details but she said that _someone_ had reminded her of her 'worth', and that Iwaizumi deserved someone better. Did you let her out of your sight, or did someone talk to her?" He asked Iwaizumi.

"Except Shinobu, we were together all the time and…"

Iwaizumi froze before suddenly sitting up. He clenched his fists and jaw, frowning darkly.

" _Muraki_ … she asked Kiku's help at the end of the day and they were alone for a while…" He hissed between his teeth.

"Muraki… isn't she one of your fangirls?" Makki asked Iwaizumi.

"Hell if I know!" He growled, already imagining a few words he'd have to tell his classmate.

Oikawa and Hanamaki glanced at each other, understanding the situation while Iwaizumi cursed to himself in a low voice.

"Why would she listen to her anyway?! She _knows_ how I feel! It's pretty obvious by now! Why isn't she trusting _me?!"_ He suddenly cried out, sounding desperate.

"It's not a lack of trust, Iwa-chan, at least not in you. She's just… she's been hurt most of her life, she's _scared_ … She doesn't want to know how you feel and for you to kiss her suddenly out of the blue, she wants you to _tell_ her how you feel, to look into her eyes and remind her she's _not_ alone." Oikawa said, as nicely as he could.

Makki nodded thoughtfully before adding:

"He's right, Iwaizumi… Which is… _weird_ considering it's Oikawa who just said these words of wisdom."

"M-Makki! What is _that_ supposed to mean?! I'm a very wise man when it comes to matters of the heart!" The setter exclaimed but the two wing-spikers ignored his whine.

"You know what Kiku went through, it's obvious she's going to doubt herself and have her fears coming back to haunt her, but you knew about it and accepted it'd be this way when you decided to be with her. Even though, it seems like fate has a twisted way of keeping you apart."

"I _know_ that but… doesn't she realize how incredible she is? How beautiful, how kind and how talented and good-hearted and strong and–"

"Then _tell_ her!" Makki exclaimed, raising his hands to the ceiling, "If you know why you like her, freaking tell her and confess and ask her out! She's troubled right now, but this is what the both of you _need!_ To actually say how you feel instead of just glancing at each other and remaining silent!"

"You don't have to keep quiet, you can say it, it won't break what you have, Iwa-chan. If anything, it'll make everything you feel, both you and Kiku-chan, much stronger." Oikawa added with a smile.

Hajime stared at his friends, still a little confused, but knowing he had messed up by not confessing before trying to express his feelings. He'll have to say the words _"I love you"_ before he could try kissing her. It was the best to do, say how much he loved her before he'd mess up again. He wouldn't be quiet anymore.

"Ah, and friendly advice, wait for Kiku to bring you patisserie, _then_ try confessing," Makki added.

"What do you mean?" He asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Just to be sure."

Hajime glanced at Oikawa who seemed as confused as he was about this strange request.

"Thanks… I'll… head home now…" Iwaizumi said, standing up.

"You don't want us to stay with you? Or to watch a movie? Or–" Oikawa started, not wanting to leave him alone when he was so shaken up.

"Nah, thanks, I'll be fine…" He said with a forced smile.

Oikawa stared at him firmly, knowing that he wasn't as fine a he pretended he was.

Out of the Oikawa apartment, Hajime walked towards his own apartment before stopping. He waited a moment to make sure Hanamaki wouldn't come out to get back to his own place right away, then Hajime turned away from the door and hurried down the building. He didn't run but walked to a steady, fast pace, steps determined to get words through. He quickly arrived near the Akiyama Bakery but at this hour, with the sky shades of a light blue after the sunset, a few stars already shining, it was closed. He made sure Shouta and Nanami were out of view so he could have some time with Kiku, then he tried calling her, but she didn't answer her phone. After a few tries, he gave up and walked under her window. He took a few pebbles in his hand and took a deep breath. He threw them one by one, without too much strength to avoid breaking anything, towards her window. The constant tic, tic, tic, tic finally made Kiku react. She opened her window, looking at Takahiro's room but for once, he wasn't the one searching to annoy her. She glanced around and her eyes widened when she recognized Hajime in the mid-darkness, a few meters down.

"I-Iwaizumi-san…!" She exclaimed, blinking and flushing.

"Can we… could we talk… please?" He asked her.

"Why didn't you just… I-I'm coming, all right?" She hesitated.

She didn't wait for his answer and closed the window before taking a shawl she threw around her shoulders. She made sure her parents wouldn't notice her then she quickly tiptoed downstairs, opening and closing the door of the back entry. She looked around and found Iwaizumi hidden in the mid-darkness, between the house wall and the wooden fence.

"I-Iwaizumi-san… what are you doing here at this hour?" She asked, hurrying to him.

He smiled, a little embarrassed to come to see her when it was getting late… She had changed into casual clothes, and there was a scent of lemon all around her, the tip of her hair was still wet… She must have taken her bath not long ago and he wanted so badly to dive his fingers through her slightly wavy hair… As much as he wanted to take her hand, to hold her against himself, to kiss her… he held back, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry to bother you now but… I couldn't wait tomorrow or send you a message…" He started, glancing around awkwardly, "I… I…"

Kiku looked down, at the path of pebbles where they stood. There was less than a meter separating them, and she wanted to walk over the distance and embrace him but… but something was holding her back. It wasn't even her fears anymore – Makki, and then finally getting Yuuna through a phone call, had surprisingly managed to reassure her that… it was Hajime's choice if she was good enough for him. She _didn't_ feel worthy of such a man, but _he_ would be the one to decide whether or not she could hold his hand without worry.

But Makki's question, about why she liked him, was plaguing her. She didn't doubt her feelings for him, she just… wanted to make sure she knew why she had fallen in love with the Ace. He had so many qualities and little flaws, all of it had made sure she'd fall for him, there was no question. But there was something else that made her feelings for him so much stronger. She wasn't quite sure why yet, and she wanted the time to answer this question.

"I apologize for the way I reacted earlier," she said suddenly, cutting him in his speech.

He glanced up at her, blinking in disbelief.

"I… I ran away without telling you why… it must have been awful… and I'm sorry…" She said, starting to lower her head to bow down in apology.

Before she could finish her move though, Hajime reached over, grabbing her shoulders:

"Don't! I'm… I'm the one who should apologize… I… I tried to kiss you… and it wasn't right…" He said, blushing a burning red.

She flushed as well. It was one thing living the moment when it happened, it was another when he admitted out loud he had wanted to kiss her, and that it hadn't been a dream but reality. They stared at each other, blushing. Then Hajime let go of her shoulders, glancing away and moving his hands around nervously from how sweaty they suddenly felt after touching her.

"I shouldn't have done that, it was… disrespectful… and… and… I understand why you got scared…" He continued, looking back at her.

Kiku's eyes widened, she opened her lips to answer but he didn't let her:

"S-so… I'm… not going to try that again… I promise… I won't act this way again…" He said, bowing down in apology to her.

Kiku was too shocked to say a thing, staring at him as he remained bowing down to her before he slowly rose, avoiding her gaze. But when she caught sight of his green eyes, she could see how troubled he really felt: sad but glad, but… but it was as if he had decided to protect her from her doubts and fears. Even if it meant he'd have to hold back his own feelings.

Once again, she tried speaking but he didn't realize it as he spoke up:

"So… I'll just… see you… tomorrow…" He said, already turning around.

Kiku clenched her fists, pouting a little before running the few meters separating them, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stop, as shocked as he was by her sudden gesture:

"Will you not let me talk?" She exclaimed, frowning lightly.

He looked down at her and flushed, not used to see her so… determined. His heart missed a beat. _Gods_ did he love that look on her face…

"S-sorry…" He mumbled awkwardly.

"I wasn't scared because y-you… because you tried to kiss me… I was scared because… I don't want you to be hurt and… and if you deal with me, you'll be hurt… You've already been hurt a-and… I don't want that for you…" She said, lowering her gaze but her eyes were burning from emotions.

"Kiku…" He murmured sadly.

"I just want you to be happy… but you won't be if you're with someone like me…" She whispered, voice breaking a little.

He stared at her. They were so close, she was holding his arm, almost leaning against him and they had never been so physically close except for the hug with his vow of eternal love (without actual confession).

He smiled, not his usual happy grin, or the bright smiled he showed her… it was a smile he had never smiled before: soft and tender and full of love.

Kiku looked up, blushing under his intense gaze and beautiful smile… Both of their hearts were beating strongly, spreading warmth in their bodies.

"Kiku… I've waited for you for a _long_ time…" He said in a voice as soft as a caress, "I _never_ doubted a minute that you were the right one for me, and that you make me happy. But more importantly… I can't bear the thought of seeing _you_ unhappy – _your_ happiness is worth more than mine…"

"No, _your_ happiness is more… is more important… than mine…" She murmured, her lips tilting up.

She lowered her head very quickly before looking up again, both chuckling softly when they realized their words and feelings mirrored each other.

"How about happiness… together…?" Hajime asked softly, with a tender smile and hopeful eyes.

She smiled back, a smile she had never smiled to anyone. Her eyes shone beautifully before she closed her eyes very quickly to take in a deep breath then looked up once again at the man she loved.

"Could you… give me a little more time…?" She asked softly, heart beating anxiously.

He looked into her eyes and behind the love and softness, he saw the fears and nerves that were pulling at her heart. He was overwhelmed by his feelings for her, he couldn't stop thinking of her – he couldn't imagine what it must feel like dealing with doubts and fears as well.

He moved slowly, letting his hand brush down her forearm, giving her goosebumps before his hand found hers. Like before their fingers intertwined, holding hands firmly. Their way of saying _"I'm not letting go, I'm not leaving you"._

"I will." He said in a low, soft voice.

He leaned down and kissed her cheek, right at the corner of her lips. It was a soft, long kiss, so warm it was hard for both when he pulled away, smiling down at her.

"See you tomorrow…" He murmured, kissing her temple then slowly, stepping away from her.

"See you… tomorrow…" She answered in a breath.

Their hands held for as long as possible, until he was too far away and his steps forced their hands to let go. He gave her a little wave before disappearing in the night. Kiku took a deep breath then turned around, a happy smile on her face. She bit down on her lower lip to hold back her scream of excitement then, unable to keep herself in check, she bent down, covering her face with her hands. Her little excited scream was smothered as she shook her face against her hands, too happy for her own sake. Her fingers rested where his lips had kissed her skin and her smile grew wider…

 _Thank you, Hajime_ … She thought, feeling much lighter and better than before.

* * *

 _All right, so the story isn't moving forward much, and ti will be the same for the next chapter because it's an entire chapter of flashbacks of basically what happened in their first two years of high-school - and how Kiku fell in love with Iwaizumi~ (the chapter literally ends at the prologue of THIS story so~)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : QUIET LOVE_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	38. Quiet Love

_Here is the new chapter! Thank you to everyone for your support! :D_

 ** _WARNING : this chapter contents mentions of depression and suicide attempts._**

 ** _loveLy :_** _The fluffy will only geet fluffier! ;)_

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll like this chapter as well! :D_

 _ **geeksdarling** : They ARE getting there, don't worry~! ;) Ahah, yes, I'm also the author of Sowlmates - you're reading it? Or you finished reading it? That's why Ayaka appeared in QV. And there'll be two more fanfictions crossing each other's stories! ;) (technically there's a 5th one but I kinda abandoned it)_

 _ **Krisia** : Hajime isn't smooth on purpose, only when he's honest. If he were tyring to actually flirt he'd end up biting on his own tongue. When the sexy times willcome, he'll try a few times to seduce and turn on Kiku, but it's so... not going to work... until she takes matters in her own hands, at least. x) _

_**bookdragonslayer** : If you love confessions you're going to love this chapter. And the next~! ;)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : On the cheek, but well, a kiss is a kiss~! You're going to love next chapter! :D_

 _ **Aquafin** : I hope this chapter is up to your expectations! :D_

 _ **forevertrash97** : You're going to get even more of what you want! ;) Goodness, thank you so much for you kind review! It warms up my heart! :D When I first watched Haikyuu I HATED Oikawa so badly - I don't usually appreciate the showy type of guys, and I find the popular characters SO boring and cliché but hen... we had his background story and... fuck, not only I fell in love with his character, but I also realized that, beside the whole popular part, I'm exactly like him. As a writer, I crave for interesting, deep characters and Oikawa is absolutley perfect - writing him is almost orgasmic, if I may use this word. XD I am so proud to have inspired you to write again, and of course, I'd love reading some of your works! Tell me when you'll publish a haikyuu fanfic, I'm always craving for more! ;)_

 _ **deadlywhisper21** : All right, so I listened tot he song you advised me and it immediately got downloaded and joined my Kijime playlist. It fits these two PERFECTLY and after this chapter, you'll realize it fits EVEN MORE! :D Kiku's character development is slow, but it's happening and I'm proud of my girl! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : There might be an overload of fluff at some point, I'm warning you! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXXVIII : Quiet Love

" _Have you ever had to get through a day, smiling at people, talking, as if everything were normal and okay, while all the time you felt like you were carrying a leaden weight of unhappiness inside you?"_

— **Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation**

" _Silence is always beautiful, and a silent person is always more beautiful than one who talks."_

— **Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Adolescent**

" _Being alone never felt right. Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _The strongest of men have the softest of hearts."_

— **Patrick Ryan McEveety**

" _I'm still a bit of a romantic and an idealist and hopelessly naive."_

— **Brit Marling**

" _You make me want to live…Not survive; not exist. Live."_

— **Sarah J. Maas, Queen of Shadows**

" _To die is nothing; but it is terrible not to live."_

— **Victor Hugo, Les Misérables**

" _Happiness is within you… so unlock the chains from your heart and let yourself grow— like the sweet flower you are. I know the answer— just spread your wings and set yourself free."_

— **Jimi Hendrix**

" _Working on myself, by myself, for myself."_

— **Anonymous**

" _It is a bad thing to have love and nowhere to put it."_

— **Kate DiCamillo, The Magician's Elephant**

" _Almost. It's a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite… Soon, maybe."_

— **Joan Bauer, Almost Home**

" _Life has a funny way of working out just when you start to believe it never will."_

— **Anonymous**

" _One day, I plan to love so loudly, my body abandons every demon harvesting me."_

— **Arati Warrier, "Alive"**

" _The most amazing was when she appeared in his dreams saying all the beautiful things to him that she refused to speak during the day."_

— **Anonymous**

" _The way people come into your life when you need them, it's wonderful and it happens in so many ways. It's like having an angel. Somebody comes along and helps you get right."_

— **Stevie Ray Vaughan**

" _One word, one move, one gesture is all it takes to change a life, a world and a mere existence!"_

— **Alizey Ibrahim**

 _Two years ago, at the entrance ceremony of Aoba Jousai high-school…_

" _Stay here and wait for me to enter the gates before continuing your way. I don't want to be seen with you at all."_ Hanamaki had ordered her.

 _I am SO going to put chilli pepper into your weekly creampuffs, stupid._ Kiku thought, staring at her feet as she waited for him to be far away enough so she could enter this stupid high-school.

She looked up and saw many students wearing the same uniform as her, lavender and dark-red and white. It was strangely good-looking – but it didn't suit her, despite what her parents had said. No one was glancing her way even if a high-school girl leaning against a wall instead of walking towards the gates was an unusual view. Perhaps they thought she was waiting for someone.

 _Who am I kidding? They just don't see me._

Hanamaki was out of view so she was free to enter the high-school but she didn't move an inch, looking down once again at her feet.

 _I don't want to go…_ She thought, not feeling her heart beat against her chest even though she knew that _technically_ it _was_ pulsing blood through her body and keeping her alive. Despite what she'd wish.

She would probably be rejected by people once again, they'll stay as far away as physically possible from the ugly, weird girl who spent so much time in the hospital she was a year older than the rest of them… The psychologically strange one, the retarded one. If they were to approach her, they'd be tainted.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid… I shouldn't have gone to a public high-school at all. I should have gone to Yuuna's like she proposed. Or even home-schooling._

She had looked it up but her foster family had been so pleased at the idea she'd enter a high-school where her uncle, Irihata Nobuteru, was part of the school faculty. The coach of the volleyball team. He had even proposed to her to be the team's manager – they didn't have one yet and he'd rather have a girl he could trust than one of these fangirls. _Or_ , the truth behind these kind words: he wanted to keep an eye on her _every single day_.

 _Thank you, but no thank you. I won't look after a bunch of stinky teenagers who will be the first ones to bully me. And Hanamaki will be there, it'll be awful._

"Come on, Iwa-chan! Smile a little more! We're in high-school now! _Rejoice~!"_

 _Who still gets called -chan upon entering high-school? He must be some ridiculous midget…_ She thought ironically, smirking at the thought.

She looked up just at the two young men walked by her, her eyes widening and lips falling open. Iwa-chan was _not_ a ridiculous midget… Both were taller than average, and very handsome and well built. One seemed grumpier than the other – probably the Iwa-chan who didn't smile enough.

"It's just the same as middle-school, overall…" He answered with a shrug.

"No, it's not! It's totally different! It's a new beginning!"

His friend continued in a long and passionate speech about what it meant to be high-schooler and enjoy his youth.

Kiku watched them walk away then thought back on what he had said. A new beginning. That was why she had decided to enter high-school, despite her hesitations. To try new things, try to get friends… Try to feel human. Perhaps someone will even get _attached_ to her – but that was a whole new other level she was not yet ready to consider even _believable_.

Wind brought down sakura petals from the surrounding trees, following the two young boys. And Kiku who pushed herself off the wall and started walking a few meters behind them, joining the waves of students entering Aoba Jousai high-school.

As they entered, senpais from various clubs started calling out, giving fliers and trying to scout as many new members as possible.

"Join the cheerleading club~! Encourage our teams for their competitions!" Some pretty girl exclaimed.

Kiku glanced at her, meeting her eyes. The girl smiled to her gently but turned away, probably thinking this shy-looking, slightly overweight girl wasn't able to do anything _close_ to cheerleading. Kiku didn't even have time to get a flier, and too awkward to go back to the girl or the stand for the cheerleading club, she continued her way. She stop listening to what people were screaming, most weren't even noticing her, their gazes going over. She went to the list of classes and frowned when she saw that she was in the same as Hanamaki – she was willing to bet that her parents had asked Irihata to put in a word, so she'd be with someone she already knew. Not that it mattered anyway considering she had to pretend she never met him before. She turned around with a sigh, wanting to go directly to her class even if there wouldn't be many people but she had nothing better to do at the moment. Perhaps there would be some shy, lost people there already and she could muster her courage to start a conversation and they wouldn't freak out about her yet.

Looking down, she bumped into someone who wasn't looking where he was going either and she immediately stopped, looking up:

"S-sorry!" She exclaimed.

"My bad!" He answered, lifting up one hand in apology.

She realized it was the grumpy guy from before. He looked down at her, blinking quickly. She blushed and looked down, trying to hurry away from him. She had not made three steps that he tapped her shoulder, making her startle. With her long and curly hair that reached her lower back, he couldn't see her expression but spoke up anyway:

"Oi, you've got sakura petals in your hair."

He sounded just as grumpy as he looked and, even if he was already looking away and continuing his way, Kiku looked up and over her shoulder. He had talked to her. He hadn't avoided her…

 _Right, most people don't know me here… they don't know about my past, they can't judge me for that…_ She realized.

"It looked weird…" He mumbled, frowning to himself as he continued his way to check his classroom.

Kiku continued her way, clutching her bag against her chest, hearing some happy-go-lucky voice covering everyone else's:

"Iwa-chan! We're in the same class this year!"

"And so what?" Grumpy Iwa-chan asked, making him whine in return.

She didn't look their way, her steps quickly taking her into the main building. She stopped at the top of the stairs, shaking her hair before entering the building, many petals falling down at her feet. She could only imagine how weird it had looked. She was checking the length of her hair, using it as an opportunity to hide her face as she made her way through the building.

She entered it shyly, but as expected… there wasn't anyone yet. She put her bag on a desk, near a window and looked down at the crowds. There _must_ be at least _one_ person down there who could bear with her for a little bit… _right?_

The entrance ceremony was as boring as expected, Kiku had to fight against _more_ sakura petals in her hair, then the first days of high-school started. Even if she wasn't totally lost, it was still a different rhythm than middle-school. She had miraculously talked with a few girls from her classroom and even if they weren't 'friends', it was reassuring to have someone to talk to in-between classes.

A few days after school activities had started, she finally found the courage to go in the gymnasium where the cheerleading team was practicing.

" _You?_ You want to do cheerleading?" The third-year Captain asked her, blinking in disbelief.

She looked Kiku up and down. She could feel the judgment in her eyes: she was not fit enough to join the cheerleading team. And she definitely didn't stand out enough to encourage anyone… Kiku's shoulders went down as she sheepishly tried to explain herself:

"I… I d-did gymnastics… and p-parti-participated in the neighborhood's cheerleading club…" She whispered.

"Eh? I can't _hear_ you, speak louder if you want to be a cheerleader! You did gymnastics, then?" The Captain asked, tilting her head on a side.

 _You heard perfectly well, then,_ Kiku thought bitterly. But she kept her lips thin, nodding with her eyes focused on the floor.

"Warm-up and show us what you can do…" She sighed, as if tired at the idea of bearing this girl.

Kiku did as ordered, most glancing at her surprised that she wasn't out of breath after some running. Then, she showed everything she could do. She noticed some impressed looks but they didn't stop glancing at each other awkwardly. The captain seemed to not know what to do…

"You've got skills but…"

She pouted, looking at Kiku's body. She clenched her hands tightly, knowing that they would refuse her but just at this moment, the coach arrived and noticed her immediately, recognizing the girl.

"Oh, you must be Akiyama Kiku! I heard from your uncle that you would come to join the team! You are welcome here, Akiyama-san!" She exclaimed with a smile.

Kiku glanced up hesitantly at the Captain who didn't know where to hide. She couldn't refuse her joining the club if the coach had accepted her already.

"W-well… I guess we _do_ need someone for the stunts so…"

"T-thank y-you… I-I'm looking forw–"

"Then, let's go back to practice!"

"Ooss!"

Kiku stared at the cheerleading team as they turned around and walked away, not even letting her introduce herself properly… but at least, she was on the team and she could do what she liked: cheerleading.

When she exited the gymnasium at the end of practice, sweaty and tired, most clubs were ending their own clubs as well. She walked towards the gymnasium where the volleyball club practiced, shyly entering the place. It wasn't the first time she was coming here, but it was the first time she was coming to watch the end of their practice since entering high-school – she had been too embarrassed to come before. She remained hidden behind the wall, in the doorway, watching from afar as they put away the balls and were starting to warm-up.

Hanamaki who was gathering some balls not far away noticed her and immediately made a face. He pouted, and as soon as they had made eye-contact, he waved his hand disdainfully, as if shooing her. She frowned back, about to stick out her tongue at him when someone suddenly appeared at his side:

"Who is this, Hanamaki?"

The wing-spiker startled as the happy-go-lucky guy from the first day was at his side:

"AH, Oikawa… just… one of your fans. I'm telling her to go, y'know…" He mumbled an excuse.

"Oooh~ Nice to meet you~!" Oikawa exclaimed, waving at her from afar.

"Oi! Oikawa! Hanamaki! What are you doing?!" Mizoguchi scolded, suddenly at their side, "Leave the coach's niece alone!"

"The coach's niece?" Oikawa repeated curiously while Hanamaki walked away discreetly, leaving him to deal with it on his own.

He glanced back at Kiku but she hid behind the wall completely, ignoring his confusion. He tilted his head on a side, about to make a few steps to talk to her – always nice meeting new people and especially the coach's niece – when he received a ball in his back.

"AGH!"

"Help us out, will you?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, pushing a cart of volley balls.

"You're so mean, Iwa-chan…" He whined, taking the ball back and running after him.

Kiku slowly exited her hiding place and, once she was sure all the boys were distracted by their stretching and chatting, she advanced to the bench where her uncle was.

"Oh, Kiku. Nice finally seeing you here." He greeted, tapping the bench next to him.

She sat down, glancing over at the team. Her eyes found Iwa-chan's figure. But that might be because he was barking at Oikawa who didn't seem impressed.

"You joined the cheerleading club?"

Kiku nodded without a word.

"Are they nice to you?" He continued, glancing quickly at her.

Without her gaze breaking from the boys stretching, she nodded with a smile on her face – it was big enough for her uncle not to notice how fake it really was.

"They're very nice."

"Good, then."

"A-and… y-your new t-team…? Any… good member…?" She asked curiously, glancing once again in the vague direction of Iwa-chan.

She hadn't expected him and his friend to join the volleyball club. If they became friends with Hanamaki, she might run into them in the neighborhood.

"Yeah, we've got quite a few good players. Two are from Kitagawa Daichi. Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime, setter and wing-spiker. They are working very well together, but that was to be expected considering they played together since they were children."

Now that she heard the names, she remembered having overheard a conversation between Nobuteru and her mother: they were discussing the team members from Kitagawa Daichi, a middle-school affiliated to Aoba Jousai, they had sent recommendation letters to. Back then, she hadn't cared much and had stopped listening half-way through it.

"Oikawa has received the prize of best setter last year. He's got a powerful jump-serve, he's a good new member to our team." Irihata said with a satisfied smile.

"A-and the other one…? Iwaizumi… san?" She asked shyly.

Her uncle finally glanced at her, and noticed her gaze staring at the two intensely. At one in particular, in reality.

"He's a skillful spiker, and he's got power. He'll probably be the Ace once his senpais have retired."

She nodded, not saying anything else and she forced her eyes to look down at her school skirt. Then, she got up, about to salute her uncle and Mizoguchi to leave.

"I'll drive you back home, wait for me outside," Irihata said.

She hesitated but nodded, not wanting to discuss. She'll walk to school tomorrow, instead of taking her bicycle. She'll get it back after school the following day. She waited for a few minutes in the mid-darkness, behind a wall, unseen from people. Not that there were many who walked by. Silent and unseen, like a ghost. It would be amusing suddenly appearing at people's sides to scare them.

"Aaaah…! I'm famished!"

She recognized Hanamaki's voice and listened more closely, glancing to her left as a group of first-years appeared.

"I'm stinking, I mostly want a shower at the moment…" Iwaizumi complained, already pulling at his shirt to get some air from the spring heat.

"Don't strip here, Iwa-chan~!"

"I'm not!"

Kiku quickly looked away as they walked right past her, not noticing she was standing here. She followed them with her gaze, her long hair keeping her safe from the outside world.

 _A few days later…_

"Did you know? She went to the hospital for psychological treatment! I heard she's so mad, she tried to kill someone!"

" _What_ , it's scary! I'll never approach her again!"

"I don't want her to try to kill me!"

Kiku didn't react to these words she kept hearing as she walked by, keeping her bag safe against her chest and her hair falling around. A few people _did_ know her from middle-school, after all. And they had been quick to spread the same false rumors as back in middle-school but because it was high-school, everything was bigger. Even the weight of the rumors.

 _I tried to kill someone now…?_ She thought to herself, putting her chin on the palm of her hand.

Her mind wandered to the one time she had wished to kill someone. But this someone had tried killing _her_ instead. She still bore the marks to this day. The mere thought of that night was enough to make the scars in her back sting.

The following days, being at school, studying, going to club, being ignored by people… it became the same thing everyday. A chore. It was harder and harder everyday getting up in the morning, getting dressed in this hideously colored uniform, walking or riding her bike to high-school…

There was one moment of the day she enjoyed a little bit. Or rather than enjoy, it was simply that it wasn't quite as boring as the rest of the day: Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Matsukawa, another first-year of the volleyball club, coming to get Hanamaki. Sometimes they went to the cafeteria, followed by sighs and squeals from girls. Sometimes they took their bentos and went outside. Sometimes, her favorite option, they remained in the classroom to eat together. The classroom seemed livelier, brighter, everyone was glancing at them with smiles, listening to their laughter.

Kiku loved their presence in the classroom because even if she was at the other side and all alone and pretending to listen to her music, she almost felt included in their loud and happy conversations. _Almost_ …

One day, she was leaving her bicycle, making sure it was put to not fall, when she heard a sudden crowd going into high-pitched squeals. Used to it by now, like everyone in the high-school, she didn't have to turn around to know who it was. She turned around anyway.

"Kyaaa~! It's Oikawa-san!"

"He's so handsome! And so nice!"

Surrounded by a crowd of fangirls, the setter happily discussed with them. At first, Kiku had thought that he was vain and petty but after observing him a little, even though he loved the attention, she had realized he was just trying to be nice with everyone.

Her gaze didn't remain on him or his fangirls, though. Her blue eyes brightened as she caught sight of the reason _why_ she had turned around anyway.

Iwaizumi was standing there, as grumpy as ever, annoyed to be stopped so early in the morning by his friend's fangirls. He was standing apart from the crowd, still and silent, unnoticed by everyone else. Everyone's attention was on Oikawa, his crowd of fans… No one ever seemed to notice Iwaizumi always standing there and bearing through the pain of it all with an extraordinary patience (most days). No one but Kiku.

She stared at him, her lips tilting up just a tiny bit, her shoulders relaxing… Even if he looked so annoyed and grumpy… his presence was so quiet, so calm, without pretending and falsity that she couldn't help but feel a little reassured.

Her heart missed a beat.

It wasn't the first time it did that but every time it was when she caught sight of Iwaizumi – whether because he was waiting for Oikawa to be done with his fangirls, or because he was walking in the hall and she crossed path with him, or because she was watching the volleyball club's practice every Monday and her eyes were on him… It didn't feel like the hollow heartbeat that kept her alive despite her will, it almost felt… it almost felt like _life_. And it felt _good_. That was why she'd glance his way, or why she'd watch their practice, or why the three idiots plus Iwaizumi having lunch in the classroom was her favorite option… She felt a little bit alive.

Then came the Golden Week.

It was the golden opportunity for Kiku to try to befriend her teammates, she was aware that the other girls were mostly annoyed by her and found her too clingy but she was, as shameful as it might be, _desperate_ for a friend. She needed someone _at_ _school_ , not just Yuuna whenever she could answer her phone and come visit her home. But having a friend at school, getting along with her teammates, it'd never happen if they ever learned about her past. If they knew the truth, they'd get scared, or embarrassed, at best they'd pity her but she didn't want that. The burden was too big, which was why she always took her shower and changed clothe alone, away from everyone else.

"Isn't she weird? Always on her own!" A first-year said as they were taking off their clothes to take their shower at the end of the day of intense practice.

"Who? Akiyama? She creeps me out waiting outside the bathrooms for us to be done to enter!" Another exclaimed, shuddering.

"I wonder why she's doing that, she probably has something to hide!"

"Her hideous body, you mean?"

They all laughed, taking their shower before getting dressed, taking their sweet time, and finally leaving the bathroom to Kiku. She stood up and smiled at them but they only chuckled and walked, her smile dropping immediately. She went to take her shower, being as fast as possible so she would be in time to go help out Mizoguchi-san preparing dinner for the volleyball team. Perhaps she'd even catch a sight of Iwaizumi. She smiled at the idea and, lost in thought, she didn't hear when her teammates came back chatting loudly.

"I forgot my shampoo!"

"I'm coming with you!"

"Me too!"

They all entered without thinking of Kiku and they all froze. Kiku stared at them with wide eyes, and they stared back. Kiku's heart missed a beat, panic filling her veins like frozen ice as she realized that her teammates had caught sight of her back. Only half-dressed, her back, covered in hideous scars, was straight in the light of the bathroom.

Slowly, the silence was broken by Miyano, one of the first-years…

"What the…"

Kiku suddenly reached for her towel, throwing it around her shoulders and falling on her knees, wanting to hide, closing her eyes tight to escape their view but it was too late. They had seen the scars, they had seen the true monster. Their words were just as painfully biting as the sharp whip on her back.

"What is _that…?!"_

"Scars…?!"

"Scary!"

"That's why she's always taking showers on her own?!"

"Look at that! It's hideous!"

"She's _that_ desperate for attention?!"

"She's a _monster!"_

"She should just die!"

 _No, no, I'm not, please…! Stop looking at me! Stop it! Stop it!_ She thought, desperately trying to get her voice to reach out to anyone who would listen, but no one did. No one _ever_ did. Tears rolling down her cheeks, she bit on her lip until it bled, her soul shattered at every word said that kept resonating in her head.

Holding back her sobs, she grabbed her stuff and ran away from the mocking, vicious girls who quickly spread the discovery to everyone else. But by the time it reached the coach's ears, Kiku had already called her parents and they had come to take her back home.

"It's all right, Kiku…" Nanami said, massaging her daughter's back as she sobbed on her bed, face in her pillow.

"Stop touching me!" She suddenly cried out, making Nanami freeze.

She wiggled, away from her mother's touch, not wanting her hand, or _anyone's_ on her back, even with clothe on. It was as if the moment the girls had seen the scars, it was like receiving every single hit of the whip all over again. Mixed with the words they had said, were the screams and insults from Himura Souma. Memories came flooding again, nourished by the fire on her back. A slowly burning, painful fire that covered her back. She couldn't even reach the worst of her scars but she knew _every single one_ of them by heart just from the pain it had provoked and could still feel…

Nanami kept repeating soft, soothing words, not touching her back, but keeping her close, trying to comfort her daughter as best as she could. But it wasn't hard to realize that despite Kiku's smile and positivity, she had been bullied at school and she had suffered during this little month in Aoba Jousai. And she had hid it all.

She didn't stop crying. Despite Nanami and Shouta's words of comfort and love, despite their care for her, Kiku could only feel the stinging pain of her back, like a ghost back to haunt her, reminding her of the life she had had before. Was it even a life, her constant struggle to go back to feeling alive, to please people, to love them and be loved in return…

" _You're_ _ **pitiful!**_ _You heard?! PITIFUL! That's why your parents abandoned you at birth! That's why_ _ **no one**_ _loves you and why everyone will_ _ **always**_ _leave you!"_

Kiku looked up from her pillow and realized that at some point, without hearing it, her parents had left her alone. Perhaps she had fallen asleep, her sobs quiet as her nightmares came back to flood her mind. The tea put down by her mother earlier was cold now. How much time had gone by? She didn't know. She couldn't tell anymore.

Her puffy, red eyes, still crying an endless flow of tears, took notice of little packets next to the cup of tea.

 _The pills…_ She realized.

Her hands trembled as she clutched her pillow, she knew it was bad but… but she couldn't live anymore. Not like that. Her trembling hands reached for the medicine that, she knew, would end her suffering. _Finally_ …

The sound of sirens. Cries, shouts, words. Light, so much light it was burning her eyes. More cries and indistinct words. Sirens. Lights. It reminded Kiku of _that_ night she almost died and was saved by this police officer… There had been so many lights from the ambulance… It was just like that night.

Did she almost die again? What happened?

Kiku woke up, her body barely moving, the light blinding. She felt terrible, she felt so sick…

"You're awake."

She looked up and saw a nurse. She was in a hospital room, why…? The nurse approached her and made a quick check-up, but Kiku's mind was too blurry to really follow what was happening.

"I'll go tell the doctor you're awake. It was quite the scare you gave your family, trying to kill yourself like that with pills."

The nurse left, Kiku staring into space. Tears filled her eyes, her heart beating hollowly, but oh, so heavy in her chest…

 _No… I failed… how could I mess up that again…?_ She realized, connecting the dots that she had tried another suicide attempt and _failed_.

By the time the doctor had seen her to check her vitals, give her a quick talk she didn't listen to, and her parents had been called, she was sitting on her bed, recalling the last events, her mind cleared up enough for thoughts to make some sense. She remembered everything that had happened and now it felt useless trying to kill herself, she wasn't quite sure why she had done it in the first place. She knew _why_ , but she lacked the energy to be angry at her life to go to such limit anymore. It was always like that. The impulse of the moment, the rage of what had happened to her life and this thought… this thought in the back of her mind that had been haunting her for years and will keep coming back until the end of her life… if her biological parents had wanted her death, why didn't she die in this dumpster? She wished she had died in this dumpster and never go through everything that had followed after…

"Kiku!"

She barely had time to turn around as her parents entered that Nanami was already at her side and slapping her cheek violently.

"Nanami!" Shouta exclaimed.

"What were you thinking?! Taking so many pills you almost died?! Why would you go so far?! Do you hate your life that much?!" Nanami shouted, tears rolling down her cheeks.

 **Yes**.

"If you're in pain, then just say so!" She continued, suddenly hugging Kiku as tight as physically possible, shaking terribly, "We're here for you so don't try to kill yourself! I… I can't lose another daughter…"

 _I'm sorry I caused you pain… It's all I ever do, I'm sorry…_

She sobbed and Kiku held up her hands against her back until it wasn't certain who was comforting who.

 _A few days later…_

Kiku checked that her tie was well put, fingers trembling. She made sure for the twentieth time this morning that the marks of perfusion from the hospital couldn't be seen on her arms and hands then, as trembling as she was, as weak as she felt, she took her bag and calmly walked down the stairs.

"Kiku!" Nanami called when she noticed her daughter going towards the stairs, "Where are you going?" She asked frenetically, stressed every time Kiku was left alone ever since her suicide attempt a few days ago.

"School," she answered as if it was obvious.

"You are _not_ going to school in the state you're in! You were at the hospital just a few days ago, you need rest! And you're not going to see these girls until they've been expelled for what they did to you!"

Kiku stared at her mother, lips falling open then she started shaking her head:

"I-it's… it's not their fault… it's mine… _I_ took the pill, _I_ tried to kill myself – they don't have to pay the consequences of _my_ actions…!" She exclaimed weakly.

"The reason why you did any of that is because of what _they_ said! You're _not_ going to Seijou anymore! I thought that with Nobuteru, you'd be safe but I was wrong – you're going to continue somewhere else, somewhere safe. I know there is an agency who offers classes for young victims of abuse who can't go to regular high-schools, they know how to handle people like you and–"

"People like _me?"_ Kiku interrupted, tears filling her eyes.

Nanami froze then closed her eyes, suddenly looking ten years older. She passed her hands over her face, shaking her head.

"That… I didn't mean it this way, Kiku…" She murmured, realizing the way she's been talking was a mistake.

"I… I don't want to go anywhere else! I don't want to be put with the crazy, broken people again! I want to stay at Aoba Jousai, a _normal_ high-school!" She exclaimed, voice breaking.

"You're being bullied and mistreated here! I don't want you to suffer!"

"I'm going to suffer anyway! Let me live my life the way I intend to!"

"By killing yourself?!"

Kiku startled guiltily then looked down. Wasn't it what she had wanted at the beginning…? To not go to Aoba Jousai? To go somewhere else…? Home-school sounded like a nice perspective, another high-school could do good… she'd… she'd study somewhere else and she'd… she'd meet new… people…

Iwaizumi's face flashed in her mind. His grumpy behavior, his quiet-self that made her heart miss a beat. The miss of a beat that ironically made her feel more alive. More than anything else.

"I! I want to stay at Seijou, it's a good high-school! With nice teachers! Funny people! I'm happy there!" She exclaimed, voice rising and rising until Shouta came to check on his wife and daughter.

"If you were truly happy, you wouldn't have attempted suicide again!" Nanami exclaimed.

Kiku clenched her fists tight, not quite knowing why she wanted to fight for her life when she didn't feel alive and wanted to die… but Aoba Jousai had been supposed to be a new beginning. New life. She couldn't give up so easily. So she looked up into her mother's eyes, shocking Nanami enough she'd step away, and she continued with a determination her parents had never seen before:

"It was a mistake, a moment of weakness, it won't happen again–"

"That's what you said the first time you attempted suicide, you still tried a second time, you said it again, and now a _third_ time! You're saying it again! What if the fourth time is the time you can't go back from?! I can't lose you too, Kiku!" Nanami shouted.

Kiku opened and closed her lips… Shouta was about to intervene when Kiku's quiet voice rose again:

"…You don't want me to die, but you don't want me to live either…" She murmured sadly.

It was Nanami's turn to be too stunned and hurt to find words. Shouta arrived, putting a hand on his wife's shoulder and speaking up:

"Kiku, try to understand, we're terribly worried for you. You never tell us what happens at school, then you come back crying because of what these girls said about you… You're hurt, and we can see it but you don't speak to us and… you tried to kill yourself. We can't not worry and try to protect you. You're our precious daughter…" He started with a protective gaze.

Nanami nodded, eyes teary. Shouta squeezed her shoulder then sighed:

"But you're right…"

Both mother and daughter looked up in shock as he continued, sadly:

"Sheltering you, keeping you from people won't help you feel better. You need to live your life, but… don't try to end it again… please…"

Too stunned, Kiku couldn't say a thing.

"Shouta–"

"Let her go to school if she wants to, Nanami. Our Kiku is strong beyond belief. She won't break so easily. Not again, or she wouldn't fight so vehemently to keep living…"

Nanami hesitated then looked back at Kiku. Her breath came out shakily then she hugged Kiku tightly.

"…Be careful, will you…?"

Kiku hugged her back, nodding against her shoulder and blinking away her tears as she looked up thankfully at her grinning father.

"I promise…" She said, voice smothered but still heard.

She was allowed to go to school and even if it felt… unnatural to go to high-school with everyone living their life as ordinarily as possible when the last few days had been, for Kiku, a living hell… it was strangely comforting. People chatting, finding their friends after a week of holiday, talking about how exhausting the club activities had been or how boring studying had been… It was better than she could have expected.

"Akiyama!"

Kiku startled when she heard this voice, and Miyano approached her disdainfully.

"I see you're finally back. Coach told us you fell down the stairs and hit your head pretty badly when you went back to your parents and that it was why you needed some time."

It was the official story, so that shy, socially awkward, weirdo, monster… whatever other words were used on her, wouldn't have 'suicidal' added to the list.

"Captain wants to know if you're going back to the club."

Kiku hesitated – should she go back to the cheerleading club after what had happened? They had seen her scars, they might question her. Would she be able to handle it?

But she wanted to try one last time, like all other times, to hold onto life a little while longer and holding onto life meant holding onto the little bits of joy she had gathered. She nodded and Miyano left immediately after she had gotten her answer. It didn't take long for Kiku to overhear that the first-years of the cheerleading club had all been punished by coach for what they had told her. They hated her for that. No question about why she was covered in scars then. Good. They shut her out completely. …Good?

The days went on… and on… as boring as it could possibly get, nothing making Kiku feel like her life was worth it after all. It was the same as before her last suicide attempt, with just more hatred and bitterness from the cheerleader girls rather than mocking and disdain. She couldn't tell which felt worst. Neither at the moment.

One day, too tired to eat lunch, she put her head in her arms and fell asleep, everyone's voices smothered by her sleep. When she opened her eyes again, she stared in front of her without actually moving. The first person she noticed across the classroom was Iwaizumi. He was laughing loudly at some meme Hanamaki and Matsukawa had shown him. Kiku's eyes sparkled and her heart missed a beat as she straightened up and looked by the window, trying to hide her blushing cheeks with her long hair. Her lips tilted up and she had to bite down on her lower lip. This handsome face and beautiful laugh were worth living for.

One day, feeling too lonely to bear everyone's happiness around, she went for a walk. She went behind the main school building where no one ever went. There were a few forgotten flowers and plants she had started watering and there was a tree good to read under. It was quiet and no one ever bothered her here. Almost no one, at least.

Kiku froze when she turned around the corner and saw that there was someone already here, crouched down near the flowers. She was about to turn around and leave when she recognized who it was. Hesitating, she leaned against the wall, observing from afar Iwaizumi doing _something_ to her flowers. He was seriously looking down at whatever he was doing, incredibly focused but there was no annoyance, no grumpiness, no anger in his moves despite his furrowed brows.

Realizing that for the first time since the beginning of the school-year, she could see him alone without anyone around, and that she could stare for as long as possible, she let herself kneel down, still hidden by the wall, observing him, quiet surrounding them. She saw how his eyes shone when he was focused, she noticed how the muscle of his jaw moved when he tightened his lips, how his muscular forearms were tan from hours running and working-out under the sun. His spiky hair, his profile – strong nose, firm jaw even if there was still some baby fat from being a sixteen years-old boy…

Then, he moved away, said something too low for her to hear – which was strange considering he was all alone and had no one to talk to… Then, taking something in his hands, he raised it to be eye-to-eye. Kiku's eyes widened, sparkling a little, lips fallen open.

A bird. He was tenderly holding a little bird in his hands and was talking to him in a low voice. He seemed to check how the bird was then put him back in the flowers…

Kiku's heart missed a beat. Then two, then three then… she realized it wasn't one beat of heart that had skipped. But that her heart was beating, firm and strong and… _alive_. Her heart was beating fast against her chest, she felt her cheeks heat up and a smile lit up her face and she leaned forward to have a better view.

Who would have guessed that despite his grumpy looks, and quiet aura, Iwaizumi actually had such a kind heart and noble soul?

Taking care of a little bird, watching over him… it was the sweetest thing she had ever witnessed. And his smile… oh his smile was breathtaking. It wasn't the first time she was seeing his smile and it always struck her as beautiful for how rare it was… But right now, it was the most beautiful she had ever seen: soft, tender, so unexpected from the Ace and… she felt like she was seeing the Ace for the first time. That she was meeting his true nature and…

Her heart beat faster and she realized, a little frightened but excited, that it was what she had read about in books and seen in movies.

She might have fallen in love…

She was scared to the bones at the idea of love, but for some reason, she didn't feel any doubt or hesitation – just watching Iwaizumi's beautiful smile, his soft gestures to the bird, his quietness, his… true self… It was enough for her heart to sing happily.

 _Yes, yes, yes. You are in love~ It is love if one glance at him makes your heart goes wild~ If his presence is enough to make you smile~ If you feel lighter when you hear his laugh~ Yes, yes, yes, you are in love~_

"Iwa-chan!"

Kiku startled when she heard a voice behind her. She jumped on her feet and ended up face to face with Oikawa. He blinked down at her, her face vaguely familiar… but unable to put a name on the face. Kiku swallowed hard then ran around him, disappearing.

 _Weird_ … He thought, watching her run off like she had committed a sin. _What was she staring at with such a smile, though?_

He walked to where she had been standing a moment ago and froze when he saw Iwaizumi, crouching down near the bushes and sad-looking flowers.

 _Was she staring at him…?_ He realized, glancing over his shoulder but she was gone. _Who was she? Ooooh~ This is interesting~! Someone is in love with Iwa-chan~!_

"Iwa-chan~!" He called, going towards him.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard! I'm coming!" He exclaimed grumpily, suddenly standing up and grabbing Oikawa before he could notice the hidden bird.

"You'll be _overjoyed_ to hear what I just learned~!"

"Guh."

Despite Oiakwa's best intentions, the fact that a girl was in love with him totally went over Iwaizumi's head.

"Her hair was very long and pretty, it shone like copper!"

"I don't care, I don't even know her!" He replied, tired of listening about this ~love story~ his friend now liked to brag about.

 _Copper hair… it reminds me of someone… where did I see copper hair, though…?_ He wondered in the back of his mind. _Ah, nevermind. I probably never cross her path anyway._

Too lost in his thoughts, and Oikawa being too excited about what he was telling him, neither noticed the copper-haired girl who walked past them and hurried to the back of the building.

Kiku waited for the two to be away to go behind the building. She went right where Iwaizumi had been crouched a few minutes ago. She crouched down and she stared at the well hidden bento box turned into a bird nest. It was a blue bento with a funny godzilla figure on the side. There was one of Aoba Jousai's dark red tie, with lots of handkerchief added to it, to make a comfortable nest for the bird. A little bit of bread was on one side of the bento box, and at the other side, there was a returned cap of bottle filled with water. She had to pull at some flowers and bushes but the bird looked up at her, piping up and tilting his head on a side in confusion.

"Sorry… I'm not Iwaizumi-san…" She murmured to him with a smile.

He squeaked again and she hesitated before approaching her hand towards him. At first, he tried biting her with his beak but after some patience and many soft whispers, the bird let her take him in her hands. His wing seemed injured and she quickly put him back in Iwaizumi's bento improvised into a bird nest.

It was unlikely he'd make so many efforts for the bird to be comfortable and leave him there injured. But practice was about to start and Iwaizumi probably intended to take the bird to someone specialized later. As well hidden as he was, it was dangerous if a cat, or a bigger bird prey, were to notice and attack him. Injured, the bird couldn't defend himself or fly away…

Kiku hesitated, wondering if she should go warn Iwaizumi of the possibility if he hadn't thought of it… but then what? And it'd mean talking to him and there was no way she could do such a thing.

After some research on her phone, she finally took her decision and she went in town, feeling a little awkward when people noticed her carrying a bento box with a bird in it. The bird seemed to enjoy the ride, though, looking everywhere around curiously.

She pushed the door of the SPCA, glancing around warily in the vaguely dark entrance. The door had made a bell ring and a minute later, a young man came out from another room:

"May I help you?" He asked with a smile.

"U-um…"

Before she could explain anything, he noticed the bird in the bento box and approached gently:

"May I?"

She happily gave him the box and he observed the bird very quickly before telling Kiku to follow him. Stumbling over her words, glancing around at all the animals who looked at her curiously as she passed by, she managed after long minutes of embarrassment to explain that she had found the bird, already settled in his godzilla bento-house, hidden in her high-school's garden. The man, called Hayate (and he didn't want to be called any other name even if Kiku was red from the familiarity she was forced to use), took care of the bird, nursing him then putting him in a cage.

"Once his wing will be healed, I'll let it free again. Aoba Jousai, is it? I'll leave him in the neighborhood of your high-school so he can go back to his friends." He explained.

Kiku sighed in relief then, after having talked a little more with Hayate, she went back to school. She cleaned as best as she could the bento box then left it back where she had found it. She went into hiding just around the time the volleyball practice was over. Without much surprise, Iwaizumi came running, from the other side, his bag thrown over his shoulder. He crouched down but froze when he saw the bento box, closed. He took it and open it, a little panicked not to see the bird but he slowly rose standing, reading the message left in the bento box, over his rolled tie. His lips fell open as he read the message over and over again, written in a pretty handwriting.

 _The little bird has been safely taken care of by a veterinarian, he'll fly again soon. Thank you for taking care of him._

He was curious about who had found his bird and took the time to put him to safety – he had spent the entire practice worrying for this bird… but as long as he was safe and sound, and soon healed, everything was fine. He walked away, putting his bento box and tie back in his bag, walking the opposite way of the very person he couldn't stop thinking about at the moment.

Kiku came out from behind her protective wall then leaned against it, looking up at the slowly darkening sky with a smile. He was so kind-hearted, so nice, so soft despite looking rough around the edges, a little grumpy-looking but his smile made up for it… and he made her feel more alive than she ever did with just one smile brightening his face.

A few days later, she visited the bird at the SPCA, thinking that perhaps she should have put the address in her message to Iwaizumi so that he could visit the bird at this place, but she had forgotten and now, she didn't dare talk to him for that. It'd be too embarrassing. The bird was soon set free and because she had spent so much time at the SPCA, and had researched a lot on the topic, she ended up volunteering with Hayate. It took some convincing to her parents, but after telling Hayate about her situation, he gladly accepted her help considering she was so loved by the animals. Going to help the stray and injured animals when she didn't have practice or when she skipped some days was her light of these days. When the light wasn't Iwaizumi. At school, she continued noticing him, but she was much more aware of him now that she… had more or less acknowledged the possibility of liking him. At the very least, she had a little crush on him and he was her favorite human being in the universe. She had always noticed him when he was standing still, alone and calm, grumpy or smiling, when he was joking and laughing with his friends, his strong and amazing aura of Ace of the team… his soft side. but she also started noticing his absence, which was making her feel weird. If she was overjoyed to catch a glance of him, whenever he wasn't here, she felt lost. Sometimes, he wouldn't be with Oikawa, or Hanamaki, for a reason and another, and if at the beginning of the school-year she wouldn't have noticed any of them because there wasn't Iwaizumi, now she noticed them _because_ Iwaizumi wasn't here.

One of the worst part of being alone at school was that she couldn't share her deep admiration for Iwaizumi. She sent messages everyday to Yuuna about what she had noticed about him, about how wrinkled his clothes had been, or the adorable yawn he had done at some point, or the playful smirk he had had after making fun of Oikawa… but it wasn't the same as talking about her feelings outloud. Which was why everytime Yuuna visited her, she was excitingly sharing everything all over again with a bright smile on her face.

Yuuna smiled, listening to Kiku, and noticing the way her eyes sparkled and her cheeks blushed… but her heart tightened painfully.

"You really like him… I saw him at the Inter-High and Spring-High preliminaries but… he doesn't seem like such a good guy, you know… _Grumpy_ doesn't begin to describe him." She told Kiku someday, painting her nails as the girls usually did when they saw each other.

"It's because you don't know him, and he was focusing for the competition! But I can assure you that he is the sweetest being in the whole universe!" She exclaimed enthusiastically.

"You're saying that because you _fell_ for him, and just because he helped an injured bird once doesn't mean he's _that_ good-hearted." She continued, knowing damn well that her jealousy was talking.

"Yuuna, I know he appears to be very… rough but–"

"Rough, _right_ , which is exactly why I'm so worried! You said this guy likes hitting his friends–"

" _Only_ Oikawa-san and they're childhood friends, and from what I heard he usually deserves it."

"It doesn't change the fact that he's being _violent_ with someone. What if someday he's violent with _you?_ What if he hurts you or gets angry for no reason? Or, or… you _know_ this type of guys, you had to deal with this Himura, so _why_ did you fall for this Iwaizumi when he's just… he's just a grumpy guy with anger-issues?" She asked, desperate to understand _why_ Kiku would fall for a guy she had never talked with, who didn't know her, didn't even seem likeable when _she_ was here for Kiku.

Kiku glanced down, at the nails Yuuna had stopped painting half-way through it. She knew what Yuuna thought of Iwaizumi – that he wasn't _good enough_ for her. No matter what she'd say to defend him, she never believed he was as good as Kiku thought he was. Iwaizumi had been an annoyance and a scary person for most people at the beginning of the school-year with how he kept frowning and behaved, especially with the prince of the high-school, Oikawa. But over the months, as he relaxed and befriended more and more people, he was soon admired by everyone. By girls for his handsome looks and muscular body and his position of Ace on the team, and by boys for being this strong and confident man they all looked up to. Now Iwaizumi was almost as popular as Oikawa and if the latter kept attracting the girls' attention like bees to honey, Iwaizumi made every boys he crossed path with think of him as the most admirable man they had ever met. But no matter what, no one had ever seemed to notice that Iwaizumi was so quiet at times, so calming for Kiku. That sometimes he'd disappear to be on his own and Kiku knew that most times he went to read under that tree behind the building – not that she was stalking him but several times she had wanted to go read but had been frozen on spot when she had noticed him. People didn't seem to notice or even be aware of the softness Iwaizumi could express – he loved animals, she was pretty sure of that because he read a lot about biology and animals and there had been this one time when she had walked around the neighborhood and he had been visiting Hanamaki's house with Oikawa. He had played with another neighbor's dog and had enjoyed every moment of it – so did Kiku from where she had been hiding. Kiku liked to think that she saw an Iwaizumi no one else knew about. It made her feel a little special and a little more livelier.

"You don't choose who you fall for, I guess…" Kiku answered with a sad shrug, knowing that her friend couldn't understand what she saw in Iwaizumi, as no one else did.

Yuuna stared at her, gaze shattered because she knew how it felt, and she knew _better than anyone_ that you didn't choose _who_ you fell for…!

"Just… as long as he doesn't hurt you… I'll be fine too…" Yuuna murmured, continuing her duty of painting Kiku's nails.

"He would never hurt me!" She answered, laughing.

"Hurting someone… doesn't have to be purposeful." Yuuna answered, heart clenching and not daring to look up at the girl she was in love with, "You said he's popular, isn't he? You never reach out to him, and he never notices you, he'll probably get a girlfriend at some point. _That_ will hurt you, so… why hold onto him for so long? I mean, it's bound to happen eventually." She said, sounding matter-of-factly.

Kiku glanced at her friend, then looked back at her hands on the table.

"Y-you're not wrong… he'll… have a very pretty and popular girlfriend, just like he is… But… if he's happy, I can be happy too." She said with a smile, trying to smother the sadness at the idea of Iwaizumi liking another, even if there was no he'd ever notice someone like _her_.

Yuuna looked up quickly at Kiku, then she put down the nail painting and even if she felt as embarrassed as she was excited by the small gesture, she put her hand on Kiku's cheek, forcing the blue-eyed girl to look up.

"Pretty and popular? Who cares about being pretty and popular when you can as beautiful as you are, Kiku…" She said, meaning every word, her thumb brushing her cheek tenderly, not wanting this moment to end.

Kiku laughed and Yuuna's heart dropped. If Kiku saw an Iwaizumi no one else was aware of, _she_ saw the beauty of Kiku no one else was aware of.

"Don't talk nonsense, Yuuna! I'm not even _pretty_ , at best I'm a good-looking monster! You can forget the beautiful!"

"You _can_ be beautiful, for the right eyes…" Yuuna whispered, cheeks blushing but Kiku didn't seem to notice.

"Thank you, Yuuna… You're beautiful too…" She answered with a smile.

Yuuna's heart went wild even if she knew Kiku didn't mean it the way she did.

"You're the most beautiful girl I know. I bet you must have crowds of boys going after you!" Kiku added with a smile.

Yuuna didn't answer and Kiku quietly took back the nail paint to finish her left hand's nails, not realizing the long staring of Yuuna.

The weeks turned into months, and Kiku got up in the morning with a smile on her face, going to school much happier than she ever was. Her life was getting better, she didn't feel sad and worthless anymore even if nothing had made her change her mind about death being better than alive. It was just the simple joy of seeing Iwaizumi that made her put on her uniform while humming and smiling. It was helping out at the SPCA and taking care of her new pets, Pip and Birb that gave her a reason to get up every morning to take care of herself so she could take care of _them_.

With winter and the last semester, more and more students were skipping their club activities for the sake of studying for the finals. One day, Kiku went to school not early enough to go to cheerleading, but early enough to have the library to herself. She was all alone walking through the entrance, still a little sleepy from late studying the previous night. It had snowed a lot the last few days and she was careful to not walk on hidden ice. She slipped on some right at the entrance, but managed to catch her balance, stopping for a moment to stabilize herself.

Hearing the crunchy sound of hurried steps in the snow, she looked over her shoulder and saw Iwaizumi approaching, running awkwardly. He was trying to run but the snow made it difficult and he kept his eyes on the ground, to avoid sliding. That was why he didn't see that he was running right into someone else. Kiku didn't have time to warn him about the ice on the ground that he slid off. He screamed and just like her a moment ago, fell forward. She tried to step away but it was too late and he fell right into her, both gasping as they fell onto the ground, the fall smothered by the few centimeters of snow.

Kiku opened her eyes just as Iwaizumi groaned, not breathing when she realized he had fallen on _top of her_ and was so physically close to her body… Realizing his weight was on top of some innocent girl he had fallen on top of, he sat up suddenly, a little clumsily after having fallen on top of a girl in the most embarrassing way possible.

"S-sorry…! I didn't see you! I slid and I couldn't stop us from falling!" He exclaimed, flushing, sitting on his knees and lowering his head.

She sat up as well and stared at him, cheeks blushing from how close he had been – she had felt his body warmth all over her and she was pretty sure that the snow around her would melt within seconds if she didn't stay calm.

He massaged very quickly his left arm and she realized that he had held her waist to keep them from falling – that was why her fall hadn't been so violent, he had _protected_ her…

Her heart skipped a beat, then it accelerated and she looked back at Iwaizumi who was still flushed and too embarrassed to glance her way. He made a strange expression, probably because he wasn't used to talk much with girls. Even less girls he had fallen on top of. Then he glanced hesitantly to see if she was injured or angry at him, and he froze. Her hair and lower face were mostly hidden by her wool cap and scarf, but he noticed her red face. And her sparkling eyes. Beautiful dark-blue eyes, sparkling like sapphires.

His heart skipped a beat and he blushed, suddenly hyper-aware of what had happened a moment ago. He glanced down at his knees, unable to meet her gaze even if he was tempted to look back into her eyes.

"I-I hope you're… unhurt…" He whispered.

It seemed to bring Kiku back on earth, she shook lightly her head, to stop her reverie then she opened her lips to talk to Iwaizumi but suddenly, he startled and jumped on his feet:

"CRAP! I'm late for practice! I'm so sorry, again! If you need anything, name's Iwaizumi! Come to my class, number four! And I'll make it up to you! Promise!"

He ran away, sliding occasionally, repeating in a loop _"Crap, crap, crap!"._ Kiku slowly stood up, her heart still wild and happy. She glanced down, smiling behind her scarf and she didn't notice that just before he'd disappear, Iwaizumi turned around to glance at her from afar.

 _Copper hair…? Where did I see that already? And her eyes were beautiful_ … He thought before he recalled he was late and had to run.

It was the only interaction Iwaizumi and Kiku had over the two years of high-school that went by. She kept admiring him from afar, heart sinking every time she heard about _"this girl who confessed to Iwaizumi-san"_ and always sighing in relief when she head he had rejected her. Before she'd scold herself for thinking this way – he never noticed her and she had no plan of being known to him. She had been tempted to go to class four and pretend their fall had broken something in her bag just so she'd have a good excuse to start a conversation with him. She never dared go past the doorway. He never seemed to wait for her or even remember this promise of his. He had probably forgotten about her as soon as he had been at practice that snowy day.

During their second year, she had felt disappointed that he wasn't in her classroom – but she was in Hanamaki's again which meant he'd probably have Oikawa and Iwaizumi join him for lunch. Unfortunately, the rhythm of lunch time changed for the group of friends because it was always Hanamaki joining them in their class. Which meant that Kiku didn't have lunch time to look forward to.

It wasn't like she could change anything about Iwaizumi's lack of interest in her, no one was interested in her and she remained alone. She was happy feeling special from afar for noticing things about Iwaizumi no one else did, and she was happy he kept on smiling. As long as Iwaizumi was happy, she was, she prayed for his happiness.

But with her lack of courage and her distant love she was satisfied with because, _after all,_ how could he _possibly_ find anything to like in _her_ , there was no more interaction between them for an entire school-year. The only interactions she had ever had with the boy she had fallen for was one comment about sakura petals on their first day, one message in his bento box and one fall in the snow when he barely glanced her way. But she was happy with it.

One day, in the beginning of March of their second year, she wanted to go study in her quiet place, near the tree but she stopped when she saw Iwaizumi already here. She was about to turn around and leave but she couldn't help but glance his way and… the sudden realization that she hadn't seen him up-close since… their last interaction, over a year ago, hit her hard. Her shoulders dropped and even if she already knew he was out of reach for someone like _her_ , it _hurt_ … Liking someone who didn't like you back, liking someone from afar.

Her heart had wasted two years of love for someone she had never talked to and she felt a little guilty for it, even if it wasn't like she knew anyone else she could possibly love. She'll have to move on eventually.

She turned around, to walk away… but her body wouldn't let her. If she wanted to move on someday… shouldn't she let it go? Of her quiet love for him?

She glanced his way and slowly, limbs trembling, she walked towards Iwaizumi and, as she got closer, she realized he had fallen asleep against the tree trunk.

His jacket was left on top of his bag and he had en opened book on his laps, but he was asleep, breathing softly. Kiku knelt next to him, close enough to see him without waking him up. She observed his sleeping face – it probably was the only time she'd get to see him with such a peaceful, soft expression…

 _You really are a good-hearted person… you really are soft and kind… Your smile is beautiful and your eyes are beautiful and you deserve all the happiness in the world._

She opened her lips, half-praying he was sleeping too deeply to hear her voice, and half-praying he'd open her eyes and finally see her. Her voice was carried softly, no higher than a whisper, her smile unwavering and her eyes sparkling beautifully, sparkling with unshed, happy tears:

"Thank you for existing… and thank you… for making my heart beat so strongly… it made me feel _alive_ for the first time in my whole life and… and it might have saved my life… and… that's the reason why… I fell in love with you, Iwaizumi-san…" She whispered, voice full of love.

She held her breath but he kept on sleeping like a log. She kept smiling and approached him, hands tingled by the grass but then, she stopped moving towards him and fell back on her behind, watching over him with a soft gaze.

Even if he didn't know her, even if he didn't hear her, she had confessed and starting next April, she would work on herself – not to be happy or alive because he had unknowingly done that from a distance – but for _love_. Someone should be able to love someone like her someday… right?

Standing up, the fresh breeze of spring making her hair fly around, she walked away with a smile on her face, not realizing that from afar, someone had seen the whole scene. Oikawa had been looking for Iwa-chan, knowing he'd find him here, when he saw this girl kneeling next to him, in silence, letting him sleep. He had been a little worried, especially when she tried to kiss his cheek but thought back on it, so he observed curiously what she'd do. She only smiled and whispered sweet words before gently covering Iwaizumi with his jacket to protect him from catching a cold, then she left.

 _Well… that's definitely something interesting_ … Oikawa thought to himself, joining his sleeping friend.

Feeling a tap on his thigh, Iwaizumi startled awake and blinked his eyes, blinded by the sun.

"Class is about to start, we should head back," Oikawa told him, sitting at his side.

Iwaizumi nodded sleepily, sitting up and blinking when his jacket, which had been on his side when he had fallen asleep, fell from covering his torso.

"Thanks for the jacket," he told his friend.

"It wasn't me~" Oikawa hummed but Iwaizumi was too sleepy to understand what it really meant.

He closed his book then looked around, a little lost.

"What is it?" Oikawa asked.

"…Nothing I just… I had a feeling… a dream or something…"

"What did you dream of?"

"A girl… I didn't see who it was but… she thanked me for saving her life…"

 _And she confessed_ _to me_ , he added to himself, flushing a little.

Oikawa was curious to know if these were the words the mysterious girl had told his sleeping friend… or if he had really dreamt it all.

 _A few weeks later…_

Kiku glanced down from the window at the crowd of people gathering in the court, still not quite believing that on her first day, on her third-year, in the same class as Iwaizumi Hajime, they had interacted – well, he had hit her with his bag by accident and she had run away. And she was trying _so hard_ to forget her feelings for him and get over this helpless love, even if it kept her heart busy keeping her alive.

Hearing the sound of someone settling down next to her, she glanced curiously but her eyes widened and her heart fastened.

 _Iwaizumi… Hajime…?_

Before he'd glance her way, she quickly looked away, trying to appear as calm as possible but she wasn't breathing. What was this twisted turn of fate that he'd sit next to her after two years observing him from afar, _liking_ him from _afar?_ She finally wanted to get over this love, why did he show up and she was falling all over again?

Class started and he sat without a word to her. _Obviously_. But she also cursed herself for not speaking up to be _polite_. The day went awfully slow, and it was a torture for Kiku to keep herself from glancing at the Ace who was so close to her now… she was so relieved the day was over that when she got up she didn't pay any attention to what _he_ was doing.

Receiving his bag when he threw it over his shoulder, _again_ , she stumbled backwards, hit the corner of her desk and fell on the floor, the chair making an awful noise.

"Ah, sorry… erh… what's your name already?" Iwaizumi said, glancing down at her guiltily.

Yet again, Kiku's heart went wild, she blushed and looked away, fiddling with her fingers, unable to remember her name and even less pronounce it. Oikawa threw a curious glance and smiled – thankfully, he made some stupid joke that pushed the two boys to walk away. Kiku finally looked up at Iwaizumi's figure disappearing…

 _Getting over my feelings is going to be harder than I thought_ … She realized, wondering if it'd be right to ask her uncle to require her transfer in another class.

Kiku hoped the following day would be different, but it wasn't. She had to fight the urge to glance his way _all day long_ , her nerves by sitting next to him making her lifetime shorten considerably. At the end of the day, she stood up, realizing too late she'd probably receive his bag once again… but she didn't.

She looked up and her lips fell open in shock when she realized that Iwaizumi had stopped mid-way to not hit her. He glanced over his shoulder, staring at her, _seeing_ her.

"See you tomorrow," Hajime said as he turned around and left the classroom with his bag over his shoulder.

Kiku kept staring at him, too shocked to say a thing or even form a thought… once again, just like with the bird he had saved, just like that time he had bumped into her and smothered her fall with his arm… just like his simple, constant presence, always somewhere in the corner of her eye… He had protected her.

 _I'm going to spend the year falling in love again and again with you, isn't it…?_ She realized, lips tilting up.

A little laugh escaped her lips, people glanced her way worriedly but she turned around, hiding her blushing face and giddy smile. But for once, she didn't care the way people looked at her, or what they might think, she was too happy for that.

 _In the present time, Akiyama House…_

Kiku sat up, a little stunned by her night of dreams. Memories. She almost only dreamt of memories, but they weren't usually so happy.

Her fingers went to the side of her mouth, where Hajime had kissed her the previous night, promising he'd wait for her to be ready. Because she had so many doubts, she was so confused and it was all so… _overwhelming_ …

" _Why do you like Iwaizumi?"_ Makki had asked her the previous day and for some reason, she had felt so confused – her dreams had decided to answer to that question. It wasn't that she didn't have the answer, she had simply forgotten the first reason she had fallen in love with him because she had fallen in love with him so many times over since the beginning of the school-year and she had almost forgotten their few, but precious, first interactions.

 _Because he's sweet, and kind, and soft, and honest, and strong, and his smile is the most precious thing in the universe, and because he's confident and everyone looks up to him, because he's… he's…_

None of it felt right. It was so much more than that. What she felt for him…

"He saved me by making me feel alive…" She whispered to herself, a giddy smile appearing on her face.

* * *

 _Now you know how she fell in love with Hajime even though they had never really talked before being seatmates. If you wonder why she cut her hair - it'll be explained soon._

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter~_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : THE WORDS THAT MATTERED (you're going to love it)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	39. The Words That Mattered

_Guess who stayed up till 5am because I was in a writing zone?_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **forevertrash97** : Hajime is such good boyfriend (read: husband) material, there's no way Kiku wouldn' fall for him right away~! ;)_

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll appreciate this chapter as well~! :)_

 _ **geeksdarling** : Kiku's greatest happiness is Hajime~! :D And her work on herself! ;) All of my OC appear in the other fanfictions which makes it really fun! ;)_

 _ **deadlywhisper21** : Technically, Iwaizumi noticed her first (sakura petals) but forgot. Then Oikawa noticed htat there was this girl with brown/copper long-hair who was in love with Iwa-chan but wasn'tt acting the same way his other fans were. But he forgot about her until a few days after the new school year. So, Iwaizui developed a crush on Kiku before Oikawa remembered noticing her beforehand. ;)_

 _ **Krisia** : Ahah, I alreayd know what you're speechless means and it makes me so happy that you'd react like that! XD_

 _ **vixbee** : Ahah, Yuuna is in love with Kiku, sory I hadn't been very explicit when she was introduced. That's why she's jealous of Hajime and all the attention he got from Kiku. She'll appear next chapter very quickly! ;) I'll try my best to give Yuuna her own happy ending as well! :)_

 _ **Aquafin** : I loved writing about Kiku falling in love with Hajime - I can't wait for her to reveal it all to Hajime. He'll be so flustered and adorable~!_

 _ **wOw** : Starting with this chapter, there is a high percentage of kisses EVERY chapter! ;) Of course everyone is free to join the Kiku's protection squad! :D Kiku will talk with Hajime about what she wants to do in the future, don't worry! ;)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : If you're going the way you wanted, then I'm happy! ;) I'm prretty sure Hajime and Kiku feeel like they're dying of overwhelming love every time they make eye-contact! XD_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : I loved wxriting Kiku falling in love! And enjoy your holiday~! ;D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XXXIX : The Words That Mattered

" _When two souls are one, they hear each other, even in silence."_

― **Matshona Dhliwayo**

" _It was the eyes. The secret of love was in the eyes. The way one person looked at another, the way eyes communicated and spoke when the lips never moved."_

— **V.C. Andrews, Flowers in the Attic**

" _But the second she opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew. She was either going to be the death of me… or she was going to be the one who finally brought me back to life."_

― **Colleen Hoover, Ugly Love**

" _You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."_

— **Benjamin Mee**

" _A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."_

— **Ingrid Bergman**

" _You know a moment is important when it is making your mind go numb with beauty."_

— **Friedrich Nietzsche**

" _I want to feel your smile on my lips._ _I want to feel your soul on my kiss."_

― **Unknown**

" _Are you going to kiss me?" I blabbered stupidly._

 _"I'm working up the nerve," he said softly."_

― **Liz Reinhardt, Double Clutch**

" _I'm yours for ever–for ever and ever. Here I stand; I'm as firm as a rock. If you'll only trust me, how little you'll be disappointed. Be mine as I am yours."_

— **Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady**

Hajime was following Oikawa to go to morning practice, without hearing what he was talking about. He was too lost in thoughts about what had happened the previous night to think about anything else – he had gone to visit Kiku, to apologize for trying to kiss her, and… she had asked him a little more time. He had kissed her cheek.

Cheeks flushing at the memory, smile tugging at his lips, he didn't realize that Oikawa had stopped in front of him and he bumped into him, brought back on earth.

"Yoohoo~! Kiku-chan! Makki!" He called, seeing the two coming from the opposite direction.

Kiku was walking with her bicycle at her side, probably because she and Makki were talking. Iwaizumi appeared next to Oikawa, his gaze searching for Kiku's. Even from afar, green and blue met and they both smiled, flushing.

"Good morning," she greeted the two.

Hajime nodded and a comfortable silence fell between them, just as Hanamaki and Oikawa started talking, less than a meter before them.

Thinking back on what had happened the previous day, Hajime wanted to talk to Kiku but just before he'd open his lips, he felt her fingers brush his. Glancing down in pleased shock, he made sure he wasn't dreaming it all then looked straight at Kiku. She glanced up at him shyly then looked away, hiding her red cheeks. He was about to hold her hand when Hanamaki suddenly turned around:

"Matsukawa is already here, let's go open the changing-room!" He said

Kiku and Hajime acted as if nothing had happened and the Ace nodded. He followed his friends towards the club's changing-room while Kiku continued in another direction to put down her bags, considering she was, like most of them, already changed in her sports outfit. He watched her leave then pulled out the keys from his bag.

They went to change, then practice, then after a quick shower and changing their clothes, Hajime had to wait for the others to be done to close the door. He was waiting outside, leaning against the railing impatiently.

"You can go on ahead if you want," Oikawa told him when he noticed his restlessness, "I'll close the door."

Iwaizumi looked up at him gratefully then gave him the keys, quickly going towards the main building. Just before Kiku could enter their classroom, he arrived at her level, putting a hand on her shoulder:

"Hey, uh, can we talk? Very quickly?" He asked.

She glanced up at him then nodded, both entering the classroom. He glanced around quickly, the other person he was looking for not here then he spoke up:

"Hanamaki told me everything. What Muraki did to you… I… what she said – don't listen to her. It's worthless jealousy and… and I don't think that at all, y-you're the most… you're the most incredible person I know… a-and I don't know what she said exactly but whatever it was – it was wrong." He started, a little awkwardly.

She opened her lips to talk but he didn't let her, continuing:

"I… well, what I'm trying to say is– I'm not trying to, y'know, go back on my word from yesterday because I _will_ give you more time, I'll wait for you, but just… just you should just–"

"Iwaizumi-san," she interrupted, putting her hand on his forearm, his gaze on her instantly, "I know…" She said with a soft smile.

There was a short moment for silence, but they didn't feel awkward or weird. Just reassured.

"I wanted to ask you if–"

"Kiku-chan!"

Both turned towards Shinobu. Kiku stared at her, realizing that they were in the classroom surrounded by many people, and Hajime glared at Shinobu for interrupting them. They were having a moment, _damn it_. She was about to ask him something, _damn it. Why_ do people keep interrupting them?

Shinobu must have understood she wasn't welcome by the Ace because she looked away from him sheepishly:

"Um, sorry… I just… I was…"

When someone else entered the classroom, Iwaizumi's gaze followed her, frowning instantly.

"Y'know what? Nevermind. You'll tell me that later, Akiyama," he said suddenly, walking away from the two girls.

Her hand left his arm as he went straight for Muraki. She just had time to look up at him in awe that, without a word, he grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the classroom.

"W-wait! I-Iwaizumi-san!" She exclaimed, struggling to keep up with him.

Several people glanced at them, chuckling and teasing smiles appearing on their faces.

"What's going on?"

"Is he going to confess?"

"Seriously?"

Kiku pouted and looked away, going to her desk and unaware of Shinobu's vivid gaze going from her and the doorway from which Iwaizumi and Muraki had escaped.

As soon as they were out of view from the rest of students, Iwaizumi let go of the girl who was pouting at his rough treatment. He could almost feel guilty by it but he was still too pissed off. He turned to her, arms crossed over his chest, and frowning darkly:

"Iwaizumi-san, I–"

"Shut up! I'll do the talking! Whatever you did and said to Ki– Akiyama, you'd better never try that again or I'll denounce you to the teachers!" He exclaimed.

She startled, then looked away guiltily.

"…And so what? I didn't do anything they can punish me for. She and I… we only talked and we came to an agreement."

"What agreement?" He huffed.

"…She told me she wasn't interested in you. I…"

She glanced up at him sheepishly, noticing his eyes wavering slightly, confirming what she thought – he didn't know the details of what she had told Kiku the previous day.

"I… can see that you like her, for some… strange reason…" She said, feeling green from jealousy, "But when I asked her what _she_ felt for you, she said… she didn't want to be with you. That she'd rather remain friends. Then… I thought she was wasting her opportunity and would break your heart that's why–"

Even if he felt a little shaken up by these words, Iwaizumi didn't let her finish:

"I don't care the reasons behind your behavior! I don't care what you two talked about! Don't hurt her again, or you'll have me to answer to, got it?!" He exclaimed.

She pursed her lips together, then nodded sheepishly. He huffed, then, satisfied, turned away to leave, ignoring her bitter gaze in his back.

He walked back to his classroom and sitting down at his desk, not realizing Kiku was staring at him worriedly and tried to speak up shyly before looking down at her hands when she couldn't.

He was still fuming a little to know she had _dared_ tell Kiku she was "worthless" and "didn't deserve him" from what Hanamaki had learned. The reason why Muraki did that, out of jealousy or because she didn't want his heart broken, didn't really matter. Her words had hurt his Kiku and he wouldn't let it go. Even if… he couldn't help but sigh deeply, trying not to let Muraki's words invade his mind.

Not interested in him? Didn't want to be with him? Wanted to remain friends? Even if there were so many moments when Kiku had showed him she liked him… she never showed she wanted to _be_ with him, did she? Every time he had made a move onto her, she had pulled away and freaked out. He had thought it was because of her anxieties making things difficult for her, but perhaps she just… didn't want to be in a relationship with him? Perhaps her past and anxieties were too much for her to consider being with someone. He'd… if it were the case, he'd understand.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realize that the teacher had started his class and that Kiku had put a message on the corner of his desk. She tapped her finger to it, attracting his attention on it. He quickly took the message and opened the folded paper, reading it.

 _Are you ok?_ She was asking him.

He quickly wrote an answer and gave it to her discreetly, making sure their teacher wouldn't notice.

 _I'm fine._

Kiku pouted and glanced over at the Ace who was finally starting to take notes. She wrote down something but scratched it and finally left the message as it was, not quite knowing why she'd write anything else. She stared at what she had scratched, heart heavy in her chest.

 _When you say "I'm fine" it means you don't feel fine, right?_ She had written before scratching it – if he didn't want to tell her how he truly felt, she couldn't force him. She knew better than anyone what it felt like, trying to protect others from her own hurt by saying _"I'm fine"_ even when she didn't feel this way.

" _Every time you say_ "I'm fine" _it means that you're not."_

He knew this about her, and even he had unconsciously used the same way of escaping, he had been here when she had needed him. Kiku wanted to reach over and take his hand, the way he had done it the previous day.

She tore off another paper and wrote another message then, instead of just putting it down on his desk, she reached over. She put her hand, holding the folded paper, on his forearm, forcing his attention on her. He stared at her, a little stunned by her bold move in the middle of class. She smiled at him, a little hesitantly then squeezed his forearm in reassurance. He took the paper from her fingers as she pulled away just before the teacher might notice them.

 _I'm here if you need someone to talk to,_ she had written.

He glanced over, noticing she was staring at him expectantly. He smiled, heart beating warmly, then nodded.

Who cared about people's words? The only ones that mattered were Kiku's.

The day of class went as usual, a comfortable tension between Kiku and Hajime that their friends noticed. There was something in their eyes and smiles that made everyone think " _ah, here it is,"_ without quite knowing what _'it'_ was.

Practice time finally came, and Oikawa who had the key, arrived late because of his fangirls, everyone hurried into the changing-room, not realizing the door didn't close completely in their hurry. They had enough time to change, but they always tried to relax after a stressing day of school and they didn't want to hurry to the practice right away.

"So, did you talk to Muraki?" Hanamaki asked as they were changing.

Oikawa and Matsukawa – who had, _of course,_ heard the whole thing since the previous day and wondered how he always escaped the drama – glanced over as Iwaizumi froze in his move, blinking at the wing-spiker:

"How…"

"Did I guess you'd go have a _talk_ with her? Because you're _obvious_. If you hadn't, we would have all gone anyway."

Oikawa nodded enthusiastically at that before adding:

" _No one_ threatens or bad mouths our manager-chan!"

"Eh? Someone threatened Akiyama-san?" Yahaba asked with wide eyes, everyone starting to listen as well, protective instinct kicking in.

"One of Iwaizumi's fangirl," Matsukawa explained quickly.

Everyone seemed to understand what it was all about, but it only made Iwaizumi frown because he hated the idea that his 'fangirls' (he didn't realize how popular he really was but in the same time, his fans weren't as showy as Oikawa's) would go to such lengths.

"Muraki won't approach Kiku again," he said.

"Ooh~ You didn't hurt the poor girl, did you? It'd be bad for you, if you did," Makki continued, a little amused.

"I'm not _stupid!_ I wouldn't hurt her!" He exclaimed.

"Except her feelings," Mattsun added.

"She hurt _Kiku's_ feelings as well! I don't see why I should be more careful about _her_ feelings!"

"You've got a point, there. Let's just hope it won't come back to bite you." Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow, silently asking him to elaborate:

"Who knows? She might go tell someone you _did_ hurt her, or that you said very bad things, and even if it wasn't the truth, it'd tarnish your reputation. If _your_ reputation is tarnished, so is _mine_ , and so is the team's!"

Iwaizumi continued frowning, but he was thinking deeply about that. Even if it wasn't the truth…

"Maybe she lied…" He whispered to himself.

"Hmm? Who?"

"Muraki, she told me…"

He hesitated and his friends all encouraged him in silence, not wanting their Ace to keep things to himself, especially when it became so delicate.

"She said Kiku didn't want to be with me, that she wanted us to only be friends and… yesterday Kiku asked me to give her more time, maybe…"

His voice trailed off while the others all stared at him with wide eyes:

"…When did she ask you that, exactly?" Oikawa asked suspiciously.

"Last night when I… oh." He said, remembering he hadn't told anyone about that.

"You went to see her last night?! What happened?!" Makki exclaimed.

Iwaizumi hesitated before telling them everything that had happened, and for teasing, everyone went _"awww"_ when he was done.

"O-oi! Stop it! Don't stare at me like that!" He exclaimed, blushing, but they only laughed.

"Well! I don't think Muraki said the truth!" Oikawa exclaimed before his brows furrowed, "But… considering Kiku-chan's past… it _is_ still a possibility."

"If it's a possibility then… I'll wait for Kiku to make things explicit." Iwaizumi continued, sounding sadder than he intended.

The other third-years glanced at each other, wondering how they should comfort him. Oikawa finally put a hand on Iwaizumi's shoulder, making him look up:

"Cheer up! It's not over, Iwa-chan! I'm sure Muraki said that just to rile you up! Kiku-chan is in love with you, for sure!"

"Being in love with someone doesn't mean that you want a relationship with this person, or that a relationship is even possible. With Kiku's past and trauma… it wouldn't be surprising she wouldn't want to deal with me. After all…"

He sighed deeply and continued, voice tight:

"The person who reminds her most of the night she almost died is my father. And I… kinda look like him… She's so sweet and kind she probably never dared say it to me but I probably remind her of that night. What if… she thought of us being together but now that she remembered my father, she can't? She's too afraid?"

Oikawa glanced at his teammates, lips thin, not sure if he should say something and what sort of something he should say… But before anyone had time to gather their thoughts and speak up, Iwaizumi took a deep breath:

"I'm not going to date her." He suddenly said, a stubborn look on his face but his eyes so sad.

"Eh? W-wait, wait! Why would you say that, Iwa-chan?!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Because! I can't date Kiku!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms around vehemently, "There's no way I'll be able to take care of someone like her! I'm going to mess up at some point! She can't! _She's!_ I _can't_ , okay?! I can't date Kiku knowing the truth!" He shouted, eyes shining and showing his hurt as he said these words.

Oikawa opened his lips to reply, but a smothered sound attracted everyone's attention to the door. Yahaba raised an eyebrow and pushed it open to explain to Mizoguchi they'd arrive soon, or to tell Oikawa's fans to back off for the moment… but the moment he pushed the door open, he gasped.

"Akiyama-san?!" He exclaimed.

Everyone saw Kiku standing there, still in her uniform and a brown paper bag fallen at her feet. Her fists tight, she kept her head low, fighting with all of her might the tears in her eyes from rolling down. Knowing she was noticed, she forced her head to look up but her eyes couldn't meet anyone's.

"S-sorry… I-I didn't… I didn't m-mean to I-interrupt…" She murmured, trying to force her lips to smile, "I-I'll j-just…"

She made a move to turn around, limbs trembling while everyone understood that she had heard the last words. Understanding it as well, Hajime started trembling and paling, realizing his mistake – he had said the only words he didn't think and she had _heard_. She thought he didn't want of her in his life. She thought–

"I-I'll s-see you… p-practice…" Kiku said, voice breaking a little.

She made a step but Hajime gasped, making a step forward as well, desperately trying to reach for her even though she was too far away from his reach:

"W-wait! Kiku–"

The moment he spoke up, Kiku's heart clenched even more and she couldn't hold back her sob. Her hands went to her eyes while Hajime, and everyone, froze worriedly to see her so hurt.

"I-I'm… I'm sorry…!" She said, suddenly running off.

Everyone stared at the door wide open, not knowing what to do. Kiku obviously had heard what Hajime had said, but only the worst part, the part she should _not_ have heard.

"Oh _crap_ …" Matsukawa muttered – which summed up pretty well the situation.

Recognizing the bag from the Akiyama bakery, and knowing she had listened to his advice of bringing patisserie to Iwaizumi when she'll feel ready to face him… Hanamaki turned towards his friend who was shock frozen, hand still up in the hope of reaching for her.

"What are you waiting for?! Go after her, idiot!" He shouted suddenly, making everyone jump.

"W-wha–"

"Makki is right, Iwa-chan! Go fix up this mess!" Oikawa exclaimed as well, pointing at the door.

"B-but…!"

"No 'but'! Just go after Kiku-chan and tell her _once and for all_ how you feel!" Oikawa shouted, frowning angrily.

To add more strength to his words, he grabbed his best friend's shoulder and started dragging him out of the changing-room, everyone making way for them. As soon as they had stepped outside, Oikawa pushed him forward with all the strength he could use, the Ace almost tripping over his own feet, too stunned to keep his balance. He looked up, mouth wide open as Oikawa pointed in the direction Kiku had taken:

"You're going to lose her if you don't take action!" Hanamaki exclaimed, having followed them outside with the rest of the team.

"Go! NOW!" Oikawa ordered with a strong voice.

Hajime stared at them and Hanamaki's words hit him hard.

" _You're going to lose her."_

Heart beating frenetically in panic, he barely nodded before turning around and running down the stairs, going after Kiku he could see from afar. If he didn't run with all he had, he'd lose her. Damn it all! He couldn't let her go! He had promised he'd never leave her!

"Kiku…!" He called, but she didn't hear him, "KIKU!"

She stopped and turned around just as he arrived at her level, almost running into her. Grabbing her shoulders, he looked straight into her eyes:

"It's not what you think! I didn't mean it that way!" He exclaimed, trembling a little.

"W-what…"

She looked up at him, her big eyes, shining with tears and confusion…

"I'm in love with you!" He exclaimed.

He stopped breathing, cheeks turning red as Kiku's eyes widened and her lips fell open. Swallowing hard and knowing that now there was no coming back, he spoke up again, stammering over his words but desperate to get his feelings to reach Kiku's heart:

"I-I'm in love with you! I only want your happiness and the only reason I said these terrible words are because… because I'm afraid that if I'm with you I won't be good enough for you!"

She made a tiny sound, almost like a gasp, and tried to speak up but he shook his head, continuing stubbornly:

"I am in love with your eyes, and your kindness and everything you do and are! I don't care about your past and your scars because I'll embrace it all if it means I get to be with you! I'm not leaving you, _ever…!"_

"Haji–"

"I can't choose for you, if you want to be with me or not, but I want you to know how important you are to me! You light up my days, my life and you make everything happier! I think you're the most beautiful and intelligent person I ever met! Your kindness and pure soul are breathtaking! And! And I!"

He took a deep breath just as she tried to speak up once again but he didn't let her, cheeks a bright red and looking right into her eyes. His green eyes shone in a way they had never shone before, stunning Kiku enough that she'd look up… and get lost… There was a peaceful silence for the shortest of the moment when their eyes met – green and blue, both sparkling with the same love and admiration for one another…

"W-what I'm trying to say is… is that… you're… you're perfect for me… And… I want to be with you… a-and I really, _really_ am head over heels for you, you have _no idea_ what you did to me… A-and…"

"Hajime–"

"And I–"

Kiku didn't let him finish, she suddenly grabbed his tie and pulled him down to her. Their lips met and the world stop spinning.

Hajime's eyes widened and he stared right into Kiku's sparkling ones… just as they both closed their eyes and enjoyed their first, clumsy kiss. His hands in the air in shock, Hajime leaned against her lips, their heartbeats suddenly calming down. Their hearts beat strongly, resonating in their whole bodies, to the same rhythm, but instead of an overwhelming, exploding love, they only felt a soft, peaceful love filling their veins.

Heads tilting to deepen the kiss, they smiled against each other's lips and suddenly, the sound of loud cheering reminded them they had a public watching. The volleyball team, all watching from the front of their changing-room, were cheering loudly, screaming and jumping excitedly, some dangerously leaning over the railing but they were all too happy to care.

Kiku suddenly pulled away but didn't let go of his tie, blushing terribly and looking down.

"S-so-sorry! I-I d-didn't mean! I-I! I m-mean, _yes_ , but _no!_ B-but! I w-would have, um…!" She stammered, unable to look into his eyes after she had forced him down for a breathtaking kiss.

Before she could continue her embarrassing stammer, Hajime, his gaze never leaving her beautiful face, cupped her cheek, his other hand on her shoulder. She just had time to look up that he was leaning down and kissing her lips once again.

Everything they had felt, all of their confusion, hesitations, doubts… it all faded away as they shared their feelings through this kiss. They didn't need words to express how they felt – their tender kiss said it all.

Hajime pulled her closer and she fell against his chest, one hand still loosely holding his tie, while the other went against his steadily beating heart. Every heartbeat seemed to say _"I love you, I love you, I love you…"_ against her palm and it was even more reassuring than his warm lips slowly moving against hers.

Kiku suddenly pulled off, needing to breathe, a bright smile on her face, a smile so big her cheeks hurt and she had to bite on her lower lip to be sure it wasn't a dream. Hajime smiled brightly as well, leaning down to brush his nose against hers, his lips already reaching for hers once again. Her fingers against his lips stopped him, but she didn't stop smiling:

"W-wait… I… I need to tell you…"

He waited in a mix of impatience and worry, but her eyes sparkled so beautifully, so happily, there was no way it could be anything else but something good.

"I-I'm in love with you too, Hajime… I… I have been for a long time…!" She said, tears of joy shining in her eyes as an ecstatic laugh escaped her lips when she _finally_ said it outloud for him to hear.

His smile went wider and the moment her fingers against his lips brushed his cheek instead, he leaned down. He kissed her, but she laughed and he pulled her against him, their bodies pressed together warmly and her beautiful laugh echoing in his ears. He kissed her cheek then went back to her lips and this time, she was the one to pull him down for another breathtaking kiss, breaking it off from their never-ending smiles then kissing again.

A few meters away, the volleyball team had calmed down (a little), slowly getting over the fact that their shy manager had pulled down their strong Ace from the tie to _kiss_ him. And that they had continued kissing ever since. And probably confessed at some point considering how happy their unwavering smiles were.

"My Iwa-chan… he's grown up so much… and now he finally found the love of his life…!" Oikawa murmured, eyes teary as well and hands pressed together happily.

"We have to go to practice," Kunimi said calmly but no one listened to him.

"I'm so happy for Iwaizumi-san and Akiyama-san!" Kindaichi exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Took him long enough…" Mattsun said with a smile.

"I hope they won't get too sickeningly sweet now…!" Makki sighed, leaning against the railing.

"Aaaw, come on, Makki! We _all_ know you're their first supporter! _Second_ , actually, I'm the number one!" Oikawa exclaimed, draping his arm over his shoulders to tease him.

Hanamaki rolled his eyes to pretend he didn't care – but they all saw his smile, just like everyone, he was happy for their friends to _finally_ be together.

"Oi! What are you all doing in your uniforms?! Practice is about to start, go get changed!" Mizoguchi exclaimed from down the changing-room.

"Mizoguchi-san! Iwa-chan and Kiku-chan are finally together!"

"They're _kissing!"_

"They're a couple, at long last!"

" _HALLELUJAH!"_

"YEAAAAH!"

Mizoguchi just blinked up at them, as they all cheered once again, arms in the air and overly excited about the news. He glanced and finally took notice of Iwaizumi and Akiyama close to one another, kissing and smiling and the team's words hit him.

" _Wait_ – because they _weren't_ dating before?!" He exclaimed with wide eyes.

They all paused, looking down at him then they laughed – only Iwaizumi and Akiyama weren't aware of their relationship before making it official with a confession and a few kisses!

BONUS

 _[Some time later…]_

"I had no idea they weren't dating, I thought they were together for _weeks_ now!" Mizoguchi said, still stunned by the news.

"U-uh." Irihata said, looking irritated with a frown on his face and arms crossed over his chest.

"Are you unhappy because your niece is dating Iwaizumi? He's a good boy, he won't break her heart, I'm sure!" Mizoguchi continued with a smile.

"…That's not the problem but…"

He narrowed his eyes and Mizoguchi followed his gaze, shoulders dropping when he understood what Irihata was getting at.

"Are they always going to be like that, from now on?" He muttered annoyingly.

"Ah, well…"

They stared from afar, just like some of the players who were chuckling at the overjoyed couple. Kiku and Hajime were both following their duties as manager and Ace – but they had such heart eyes for one another that it made every single task very difficult. They had silly smiles on their faces and flushed cheeks and didn't stop glancing or staring at each other from afar.

Enjoying the fact that their Ace and team mom was too distracted to keep them in check, all hell was breaking loose for the rest of the team. Even if, instead of doing some shenanigans, they were too busy teasing and making fun of the new couple with snickers, taking photos and videos for later black-mail. There was _no way_ they'd let their Ace live down the embarrassment that he didn't feel for the moment but would certainly hit him later.

BONUS 2

 _[After practice this day…]_

After proposing for Iwaizumi to accompany Kiku back home – _actually_ , Oikawa hit him hard in the ribs and shouted _"Iwa-chan will walk you home, Kiku-chan!"_ while Mattsun kept Makki's whimpers down (he complained that he didn't want to see them make-out on his way home). So, the Ace didn't have much of a choice – but at least, he didn't get a _talk_ from coach Irihata. Yet.

 _Not that I mind their not-so-discreet intervention_ , he thought as he glanced down at Kiku.

They were walking calmly, hand-in-hand, unwavering smiles on their faces. Sensing a gaze on her, she looked up and Hajime immediately gasped and blushed:

"Eeeh… s-sorry… for staring…" He mumbled adorably.

"N-no, I-it's fine… I'm… staring a lot too…" She whispered.

They flushed and arrived in front of the bakery, stopping there and regretting that the way to her home was so quick. They looked at the house regretfully, wanting to grasp every little minute they could get together.

"I still can't believe it–" They both said in one voice, before stopping.

They stared at each other then chuckled in amusement.

"So… we're… a _thing_ , now… right?" He asked, a little hesitantly because just the previous day she had asked him to give her some time.

They took quite some detours, but despite all hesitations and insecurities, their kiss had been enough to say everything. Their confession had comforted their hearts of their feelings for one another. The one thing they needed to make clear now was the nature of their relationship.

When they looked into each other's eyes, there was no doubt to have. Kiku gave the slightest of nod, their fingers tightening and their smiles growing wider. Silent vows of love shone in their eyes and there was no need for words. Not anymore. Their heartbeats going to the same rhythm, the warmth of their lips, the soft gazes lost in one another, the tender hold of their hands… It was everything.

Iwaizumi Hajime – her boyfriend. Akiyama Kiku – his girlfriend.

"I… I really like that…" He started, breaking the comfortable silence, "The feeling that we don't need any word to communicate, that we understand everything without a word… it feels good…"

Kiku's hold on his hands tightened and she grinned, a mischievous glint shining in her eyes:

"Then stop talking." She said, her lips trembling to add something else but she was still too embarrassed to say it.

He didn't need her to say what she wanted. He leaned down and kissed her. He let go of her hands so he could let cup one her cheek, fingers threading through her silky hair, the other resting in the curve of her back to press her to him. Kiku didn't need any word to lift up her arms, hands going in the back of his neck.

 _I love you, I love you, I love you_ … sung their hearts. And through their kiss, the warmth and breath they shared, all of the peace and love they felt was expressed. No need for words. Their quiet expressions of love were all the words that mattered.

"Uuugh… I'm going to face this vision everyday from now on… isn't it?"

They pulled away and threw an annoyed glance in Hanamaki's direction just as he was coming home. He grinned to them teasingly and they smiled back, all of them pretending to be annoyed, but too happy to really care. Hanamaki lifted up his fist, fist-bumping the air to say _"Good job, Ace"_ and _"Nice move, Akiyama"_ before he waved at them and entered his house.

They glanced back at each other and, even if they were still high on cloud happiness, after a goodnight kiss (on the lips), he left Kiku and they went back homes. Both, smiling like fools in love. Arrived homes, both leaned against their doors, hands on their hearts still beating strongly.

 _I love you, I love you, I love you_ …

* * *

 _Finally, they're dating. Took them loong enough. XD_

 _Don't hesitate to tell me how you feel~! :D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : FACING THE WORLD_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	40. Facing the World

_Hey, hey, hey! :D Here is the new chapter! :D_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **forevertrash97** : Ahah, it makes me happy if you're into it~! :D Sometimes I need to take a psychological break when writing ebcause my heart is about to burst from how adorable these two are! :D_

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll love what follows! ;)_

 _ **xxjaelee** : God job, catching up! And to the best chapter witht he confession! ;D The best part was Kiku shutting him up with a kiss, thankfully she took matters in hands. And yes, there will be smut later on! ;) Let's say that except two big events in their lives, they'll have a long and happy life together~! :)_

 _ **mikohoshina** : I think we were all the volleyball club cheering for them! XD_

 _ **Krisia** : How went you going back to school? Well I hope? :D Did you get over last chapter? XD The chapter is the reaction of the student body, indeed. And more! ;)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Your review made me so happy - I was crying too when I wrote these two finally kissing anf confessing! :D There will be so much fluff~!_

 _ **Aquafin** : I'm pretty sure that everuone thought "FINALLY" when they learned! XD My heart too was about to burst from happiness when I wrote this scene~! :3_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Ahah, admit that it was fun that the girl was the one pulling him the boy to kiss him first. It was bold, but Kiku is braver and bolder than appearances lead to believe~! ;) It's not the first time she'll take matters in her own hands, if you see what I mean! ;D_

 _ **spice** : Nice pun, spice! XD They will spice it up, don't worry! ;) As for my posting schedule, theoritically it's every three days but at the condition I wrote another chapter, to keep the few chapters of advance I have. If not on the 3rd day, it'll be soon after! ;)_

 _ **Lynnyfox** : Ahah, I'm so happy you like my fanfic! :D I'm glad you find it well written - perfect, I don't konw, but I'm trying! ;D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XL : Facing the World

" _Together, we form a necessary paradox; not a senseless contradiction."_

― **Criss Jami, Healology**

" _Fuck it,' I hear him mutter, and the next thing I know he's taking hold of my hand."_

― **Samantha Towle, Trouble**

" _The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself."_

— **Augustine of Hippo**

" _It takes great courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to love it. And even more courage to see it in the one you love."_

— **Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband**

" _I want everyone to meet you. You're my favorite person of all time."_

— **Rainbow Rowell**

" _Everyone became better when they met her."_

— **Bruce Adler**

" _More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone._

 _More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn't alone."_

— **James Frey, A Million Little Pieces**

" _Sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them."_

— **Veronica Roth, Divergent**

" _Not everyone will love you. No matter how hard you try, you need to understand that in this life you need to care for and nurture the love you already have."_

— **Sara Francisco**

" _I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."_

— **Carl Jung**

" _Your survival relies on your capacity in accepting your tragedy."_

— **Unknown**

" _The only thing I know is this: I am full of wounds and still standing on my feet."_

— **Nikos Kazantzakis**

" _Very little is needed to make a happy life: it is all within yourself in your way of thinking."_

— **Marcus Aurelius**

" _I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves."_

— **Steve Maraboli**

" _Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love."_

— **Miguel Angel Ruiz**

" _How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you."_

— **Unknown**

" _Time doesn't heal emotional pain, you need to learn how to let go."_

― **Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart**

Kiku woke up, startled and hair all around her face. She turned off her clock that was ringing and she quickly pushed her hair away from her face. She unlocked her phone and immediately went to the last message.

 **Good night** , Hajime had sent her last night after she had told him the same words.

Heart beating excitedly, she bit on her nail, nothing had been said in the messages they had exchanged about what had happened the previous day. Did it really happen or was it a dream? Her lips still felt warm, she couldn't stop smiling and her heart was crazy. But did _it_ happen? Hajime and she had confessed, didn't they? They were together now, _right?_

Unsure if it had been a dream or not, she sent him a good morning message. It wasn't the first time they were sending each other messages just after waking up, or just before going to bed, so it wouldn't sound weird. She just hoped he'd give her a clue on whether or not _it_ had happened or it had all been a wonderful dream.

Her phone vibrated in her hand and she read his answer.

 **Good morning**

"Hajime, _thank you_ , but _please_ read my mind and answer my question. Are we together or not?" She mumbled to the phone.

Her gaze attracted by something, she opened her curtain and noticed Hanamaki stretching in his bedroom, looking sleepy. If Hajime didn't give her any clue, Hanamaki would tell her what had happened.

She quickly got dressed, grabbed her bento and a fruit to eat on the way then she ran downstairs after a quick _"have a good day"_ to her confused parents. She put on her shoes then ran in front of the Hanamaki house, knowing he hadn't gone out yet. She killed the time waiting for her teammate by hopping on the stones leading up his home. When the door opened, she looked up expectantly and Hanamaki approached her:

"You know, my sister saw you here and I was _forced_ to hurry my breakfast down my throat to not keep you waiting – mom's order." He mumbled as he reached her, both turning to go to the high-school.

"For once, you'll be on time at morning practice, be thankful," she answered.

"I'm _always_ on time at practice!"

"Whatever! More importantly!" She exclaimed, jumping in front of him to stop him from talking, or walking, "Did it really happen yesterday? Or was it a dream? I can't tell, I'm so happy!" She exclaimed with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes.

He raised an eyebrow, not understanding what she was talking about:

"Uh? What happened yesterday?" He asked, confused.

"W-well! You know! _Yesterday!_ The _confession!_ Hajime! T-the k-kiss! A-and everything…! Y-you even said you'd have to… deal with it all the time now…" She said, voice slowly trailing off as she realized it had all been a dream.

"What are you talking about?" He continued.

"N-nothing… it… was just…"

She couldn't finish her sentence, heart heavy and shoulders dropping. She glanced up just as Hanamaki's lips tilted up discreetly. She shouted and punched him in the chest, making him laugh.

"You lied! You _know_ what happened! You're just being! URGH! I can't believe I ask _you_ of all people! You are so! _So!_ Infuriating!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands to the sky and walking away as he continued laughing.

She kept frowning and cursing Makki for pretending he didn't know what she was talking about and making her doubt herself. But then, she realized that it had not been a dream and that at school, the Iwaizumi Hajime she'd see was the Iwaizumi Hajime she could hold hands with. And kiss. And stare at without having to be embarrassed.

A smile appeared on her face just as Takahiro caught up with her:

"Aaaww… look how disgustingly in love you are…" He mocked, a grin on his face.

She glared at him but even if her smile had dropped because of _him_ , he wouldn't manage to ruin her mood any more.

 _Iwaizumi's apartment…_

Hajime had gone to a quick run, alone, because Oikawa had already been gone by the time he had gotten up – which meant he had no one to ask whether or not the events of the previous day had truly happened or if it had all been a dream. Taking an express shower to not stink first thing in the morning, and especially when he'll greet Kiku, he was getting dressed when his phone indicated a new message.

 **Good morning** , from Kiku.

"Kiku, come on, give me a clue! Was it a dream or not?" He exclaimed, answering to her and hoping it didn't sound strange.

He hurried to finish getting ready then he grabbed his stuff and ate a quick breakfast, his parents staring at him in bewilderment because they couldn't understand his strange behavior.

"Hajime, for your birthday…" Umeko started.

"Ah, yes! Fuck–"

"Language, young man," she said, eyes narrowed.

"I forgot, I'll tell you tonight!" He exclaimed, swallowing the last of his food and getting up, "I gotta go!"

Both his parents stared at him suspiciously before he spun around:

"Ah! Uh, about my birthday! I don't want a gift, just money! Thanks, mom! Thanks, dad!"

He was about to go before hesitating and turning around once again. He quickly went to their side and kissed his mother's cheek and putting his hand on his father's shoulder.

"I love you, you're the best parents in the world," he told them, thinking back on Kiku and how important family really was.

They seemed surprised by his sudden outburst of love but smiled tenderly as he walked away, grabbing his bag.

"What do you intend to do with this money? It's a lot of money for your eighteenth birthday, Hajime," Umeko continued curiously.

"Getting married?" Takashi teased with a grin.

"Adopting!" Hajime answered, disappearing from their view to put on his shoes.

His parents' smiles dropped and they glanced at each other, not sure if he was joking or not. Takashi opened his lips to say something witty but Umeko interrupted him, raising her hand:

"Nope, I am not ready for grandchildren."

Hajime smiled to himself, amused by their reaction after hearing his mother's comment. As soon as his sports shoes were on, he stepped towards the door just as it opened and hit him in the face. He gasped, almost falling over and immediately covering his nose.

"What the hell?!" He exclaimed.

"Iwa-chan! I'm so sorry! I didn't think you'd be waiting behind the door!" Oikawa exclaimed when he understood what just happened, "You're usually still eating breakfast at this time, why are you in such a hurry?"

"Is everything all right?" Umeko asked from afar after hearing the commotion.

"Everything's fine!" Hajime answered, blinking and checking that he wasn't bleeding, "Is there a mark on my face?" He asked his friend.

Oikawa stared at his red nose then shook his head no. Hajime rolled his eyes, knowing there was a mark but praying it'd go away by the time they'd reach high-school. He gasped suddenly, startling Oikawa, then he spun around, grabbing his shoulders:

"Oikawa! Yesterday! What happened! With Kiku? Was it real or did I dream it all?!" He exclaimed, fingers tight on his friend's shoulders.

Oikawa stared at him, a little scared about his reaction depending on the answer. It was rare Iwa-chan was so… flustered.

"Um… which part? Breaking her heart by saying you would never date her? Then going after her and trying to confess until _she_ kissed you? The _actual_ confession? Your lovey-dovey eyes during the entire practice? Accompanying her home?" Oikawa said with a smile.

Hajime's shoulder slowly relaxed and a smile appeared on his face:

"It was real… it really happened… It wasn't a dream…" He whispered to himself, letting go of Oikawa.

The Captain pulled at his sleeves to get rid of the wrinkles that had appeared:

"Yes, it _did_ , and another thing…"

He looked up at him in confusion.

"If we don't leave around… well, _now_ , the others are going to be stuck outside the changing-room." Oikawa said.

"Oh, right. Let's go."

They exited the apartment, but before they could make three steps, Iwaizumi whipped towards Oikawa with wide, slightly panicked eyes:

" _Wait!_ What will I tell Kiku when I'll see her?!" He suddenly exclaimed.

"Oh lord, it's starting. How about you ask me questions about the perks of dating on _our way_ to school?" Oikawa said, making his eyes big in fake exasperation as he pushed him forward.

"What am I supposed to do now that we're dating? If I hold her hand it's going to be weird! And what about coach?! And the classes?! What if people noticed – what would happen then if they know? And what am I supposed to do? Like, my role as boyfriend – what's the _quotidian_ of it? Wait, wait, wait! If we go now at this speed, we won't meet her at the gates – but can I meet her now that we're dating or would it be more natural to see each other at practice? Or–"

"Remind me why I wanted you to get a girlfriend?" Oikawa mumbled to himself, not having expected his friend to turn into a panicked rabbit at the perspective of dating.

Iwaizumi's steps slowed down until he came to a stop, narrowing his eyes at Oikawa, staring at him suspiciously:

"…You tell me? _Why_ did you want me to get a girlfriend in the first place?" He asked, knowing how shady his friend's intentions were.

Oikawa came to a stop as well, eyes wide and knowing that if he gave _all_ of his reasons, his friend would not be happy by any of it. There was a moment of silence, Iwaizumi staring at Oikawa who stared in front of him, nervous sweat rolling down the back of his neck.

"OH! Look at the time! We're going to be late! Let's hurry!" Oikawa suddenly exclaimed, continuing to walk forward.

" _Oikawa…!"_ Iwaizumi hissed, stomping after him.

But Oikawa would remain too stubborn and wouldn't answer or he'd avoid the question. Iwaizumi stopped pestering him but he wouldn't let go so easily. His annoyance vanished the moment they arrived near the gates in the same time as Kiku (and Hanamaki). The moment the new couple met eyes, they both flushed and grinned giddily.

"G-good morning…" Hajime greeted her.

"G-good morning… but we already… said it, didn't we…?" Kiku answered, thinking back on their messages.

"Oh, right, sorry…"

"No, no, I-it's me! Just – good morning!"

He was about to blabber another "good morning" when other members of the volleyball club arrived and greeted them. The entire group started walking towards the changing-room, Kiku and Hajime staying close to each other but not daring to do or say anything unusual. After practice, the boys took a quick shower and were changing clothes.

"I'm glad that nothing got weird on the team now that Iwaizumi-san and Akiyama-san are dating!" Watacchi exclaimed, the other second and first years nodding.

"Eh? What do you mean?" Iwaizumi asked.

"Iwaizumi, you're _dating_ Akiyama – you _remember_ , right?" Mattsun teased.

"I _know_ that! But why would it be weird?" He asked, turning towards the second and first years.

"Well…" Yahaba started hesitantly, "The manager dating the Ace… we were a little scared both of you would lose your focus, and distract us all as well but… you're acting normal with each other, as if nothing had changed."

Iwaizumi stared at him, frowning a little – not at them, but thoughtfully.

"You mean… we don't act like a couple?" He asked.

"Rather… you've always acted like a couple…?" He hesitated, the others nodding.

"I thought you were already dating," Kindaichi intervened, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Eh?"

"Mizoguchi too." Mattsun added.

"What?"

"I'm pretty sure the whole class was having their doubts as well!" Makki continued.

"Really?!"

"You're not very discreet, Iwa-chan~! Your feelings are obvious, get over it~!" Oikawa exclaimed, arranging his hair in the mirror.

Everyone seemed to drop the topic and Hajime wasn't sure if he was satisfied by that or not. It was embarrassing that everyone had thought they were dating before, but it didn't help him about what he was supposed to do. Kiku was shy, he didn't like showing off too much – would it be fine just holding hands? What if people changed behavior towards him? Towards Kiku? Kissing her would be too embarrassing in front of people – yesterday had been an exception because they were taken in by the confession but… would Kiku be okay with all this?

"Stop overthinking, just act like you usually do and you'll be fine – both of you," Makki said with a shrug when he noticed him being lost in thoughts.

"I suppose…" He mumbled before looking at Hanamaki and Matsukawa, "You two – were you collaborating with Oikawa to push Kiku and I together?"

"I was _so_ against it at the beginning – but then, you really seemed happy together, you were getting annoying with this endless pining so I ~helped out~. You're very welcome." Makki answered, the middle-blocker nodding.

"You teased and made things embarrassing, rather." Iwaizumi mumbled to himself, "But do you know _why_ Oikawa decided I needed to have a girlfriend? I'm sure there's another reason than just my happiness."

They glanced at each other then shrugged.

"He never told us."

"But we could guess he had other reasons," Mattsun added.

Oikawa – who hadn't heard any of that – came back, humming to himself and taking the cream for his hands in his bag, starting to apply it. Sensing gazes on him, he turned around, his humming turned into a questioning tone – wordlessly asking them why they were staring at him.

"Why did you push Kiku and I together? You still haven't answered my question," Iwaizumi started, crossing his arms over his chest.

Oikawa gasped, trying to avoid his gaze but knowing that, _eventually_ , he'll have to answer his friend.

"I only ever wanted your happiness, Iwa-chan~!" He exclaimed.

"…I don't doubt it, but I'm also pretty sure you had _other_ reasons. What were they?"

"I really don't see what you're referring to–"

" _Oikawa."_

Oikawa glanced away, then back at the Ace who was staring firmly at him. He would not get out of this changing-room until Iwaizumi had his answers.

"You're going to say I was acting selfishly BUT it was _not_ the case, I only ever acted to ensure your happiness, to both you and Kiku-chan!" He exclaimed, showing his hands in a defensive manner.

Iwaizumi didn't answer, waiting for him to continue:

"I… might have had other reasons, indeed, but…"

"Just spill the beans, Oikawa, I'm used to your shenanigans anyway… I just want to know what you were thinking when you started this whole thing…" The Ace sighed, tired of the setter trying to avoid the topic.

"…It was because of Yuuna-chan. Partially."

"Yuuna… Sato Yuuna? Her friend? The one who kept rejecting you?" Hanamaki asked, raising an eyebrow as Oikawa startled, not appreciating to be reminded of this _one girl_ who never wanted of him.

"W-well… not long after we started school – and by the way, you had _already_ noticed Kiku and I could tell you had a crush on her so I really didn't _push_ you to anything, you know, you weren't forced, I just gave you a light nudge in the right direction–"

"I _remember_ the day we saw Yuuna at the school entrance, and you recognizing her."

"…I also might have had a light crush on her and _you know_ … she had always rejected me…" Oikawa continued, pouting a little and glancing away.

"Yeah, and?"

There was a moment of silence, then Hajime gasped when he connected the dots:

"You _didn't–!"_

"I'm sorry, Iwa-chan! But it was a golden opportunity for me!" He exclaimed, hands pressed together to apologize.

"You didn't _actually_ push me and Kiku together so you could get Yuuna to date you?! What were you _thinking?!"_

"I just wanted to get close to her, make her realize I was worth it!" Oikawa exclaimed just as Iwaizumi grabbed his collar.

"I can't believe you thought it'd make her change her mind," Hanamaki said, shaking his head desperately.

"At the very least I needed to know why she's always rejected me! And now I _know_ and understand and I'm _sorry_ it made you fall in love and get yourself a cute girlfriend, Iwa-chan, but I'm over Yuuna! It's _true_ I wanted a girl of my own at first, but eventually I realized you really liked Kiku-chan and you two would only be happy together and I honestly supported you for your happiness and nothing else! I remembered afterwards where I knew Kiku from and you won't believe me if I'd tell you everything I know!" He continued frenetically, raising his hands in front of his face to protect himself.

Iwaizumi – who had been shaking him to express his annoyance to be used for _his_ love life – stopped and narrowed his eyes at Oikawa:

"What the fuck were you thinking?! I don't care about your reasons! You can't just decide of my love life, and especially not for your own sake!"

"I… also thought that if you had a girlfriend your frustration and anger-issues would stop and you'd be nicer to me…" Oikawa added in a small voice.

Iwaizumi stared at him with wide eyes then started shaking him all over again, both screaming – one begging for mercy, the other shouting insults.

"Well, no need to get all worked-up, you _knew_ he had had selfish reasons to begin with." Matsukawa said, putting a hand on Iwaizumi's shoulder to calm him down.

"I _also_ wanted Iwa-chan _happy!_ I didn't only have my selfish reasons as motivation!" Oikawa whined.

Iwaizumi let him go with an angry snort, turning around and crossing his arms over his shoulder.

"Yeah, well, I don't see how my frustration has anything to do with having a girlfriend or not!" He hissed.

"Girlfriend means fucking, so, less sexual, _overall_ frustration. I actually get why he'd wish for that," Hanamaki intervened with a shrug, "You'll see when you'll fuck Kiku, it'll–"

"DON'T! Say the word 'fuck' while talking about my g-girl… my girlfriend!" He exclaimed, blushing terribly – not only at the suggestion of his friend but also at saying _outloud_ that Kiku was his girlfriend.

"And in the end," Matsukawa continued, "Oikawa _isn't_ dating Yuuna, so his selfish reasons would have been for nothing. _You're_ with Kiku, and you're _happy_ – isn't it what matters most?"

Slowly, Hajime's anger against his friend went away and he sighed in relief, nodding, cheeks flushed.

"Y-you're right… it's all that matters…"

They took their bags and exited the changing-room, starting to walk towards the main building for the day of classes.

"You could at least _thank me_ , _I_ am the one who said from the beginning that you were a good match!" Oikawa mumbled to himself, pulling at his sleeves and arranging his uniform now in disarray after his rough treatment – he didn't realize the others staring at him and mostly, Iwaizumi's glare, "Even before the school year started I could tell Kiku would be the one for you!"

"I am _not_ thanking you when two out of the three reasons of _you_ intervening in _my_ love life were for your own sake – and _especially_ considering you didn't do much and I almost hurt Kiku more than I could forgive myself." Iwaizumi grumbled, holding himself back from hitting him again.

He huffed, looking away before he hesitated and glanced over his shoulder, back at Oikawa:

"What do you mean _'before the year started'_ – we didn't know Kiku before she and I became classmates."

"But she's been in love with you for three years now, didn't she?" Makki intervened.

"I didn't recognize Kiku-chan at first either, and I had forgotten about her, but after finding some class pictures of the previous years I _remembered!_ I had noticed her because she was _always_ staring at you from afar! I had already noted that she was your type so when I gathered all these elements – it was the _perfect_ love story! Kiku-chan was your classmate, and already in love with you so there'd be no problem on her side! _You_ had a crush on her and she was your type! She was friend with the girl _I_ wanted back then so it'd be a perfect opportunity for me to get close to Yuuna and seduce her! It'd calm your anger-issues and we'd all be happy and with the girls of our dreams in the end! It was the _perfect_ plan!" Oikawa exclaimed, fists to the sky.

Then, his shoulders dropped and he made a pathetic whine, eyes closing when he thought back on how it had turned out.

"But it ended up differently… well _you_ got the girl, but Kiku-chan ended up being more complicated than that, your story was all messed up, and you both cried so much…! But you're happy, it's what matters. If only Yuuna would have accepted to spend more time with me – or rather, if only _I_ was her type but _of course_ the only girl who ever rejected me and treated me as an equal _had_ to be in love with another! What were the odds, really? That the girl _I_ had a crush on is in love with the girl _you_ had a crush on! Ahah! Well, now we're just friends and happy so, there's that, I suppose…"

Hajime's lips fell open. Makki and Mattsun opened wide eyes and all three stared, thunderstruck, at Oikawa who just shrugged casually, not realizing what he had just revealed.

"…what?"

"Come again?"

"What did you just say?"

He blinked at them, confused about their confusion. Then, realized what it was all about. His hand came in front of his mouth, lips making a 'o' form.

"…Oops…"

"Yuuna is _gay?!"_ Makki shouted, realizing the girl he had seen for _years_ was _in love_ with Kiku!

"Does Kiku know?!" Mattsun exclaimed.

"Yes! And no! I don't know! I'm not sure I was supposed to talk about that! But! I-Iwa-chan…?"

They all turned to Hajime who stared at emptiness with wide eyes, realization hitting him hard. The first time he had talked with Yuuna, she had basically told him to keep his hands off Kiku. Every time they had exchanged words, directly or not, she had been terribly bitter, even _mean_ , against him. She didn't think he was good enough for Kiku. She was overprotective of Kiku. But _not_ for the reasons he had assumed.

She was in love with Kiku.

"That's why she's always hated me? I thought… she just didn't like me…" He mumbled.

"Well you _were_ hitting on the girl she liked – it sounds so weird, I never thought I'd ever say that. OH! _Come on!_ It's too good to be true! Yuuna is _in love_ with Kiku! You could have a threesome!"

"Why are you immediately thinking of this option, you pervert?!" Iwaizumi hissed at once.

"Because I am a very simple man with very simple needs."

"You've got only one brain functioning, and not the right one," Mattsun said, smirking.

"As if you're any better."

"OI! Can we go back to the fact that Yuuna is in love with MY g-girl… my g-girlfriend…?!" Hajime exclaimed, blushing when he stammered.

"You're going to have to sound a little more convincing if you want to go on a fight against Yuuna for Kiku – _remember_ , she's known Kiku for _years_. She knows _all_ of her secrets and things Kiku probably never told you. She probably saw her _naked_." Hanamaki said, rather calm but eyes gleaming with teasing.

It had the expected effect – Hajime gasped and stepped away, suddenly feeling like he had years of catch up to do. Oikawa decided to intervene:

"Makki, Makki! Stop teasing him! Iwa-chan, don't worry about Yuuna-chan! Kiku is in love with _you_ and you're her _boyfriend_ – Yuuna isn't any threat to you or your relationship!"

Hajime hesitated, glancing at his friend then nodded.

"R-right… you're right… I'm her… she's my g-girlfriend…"

"He almost didn't stammer. _Miracle_." Mattsun mocked, earning an embarrassed glare from the Ace.

"Just join her in the classroom, be all lovey-dovey and it'll be fine~!" Oikawa said as they exited the changing-room to go to the main building.

"R-right… wait! When I'll see her again, what do I do?!" He exclaimed, panicking once again about the whole boyfriend-girlfriend stuff.

"Kiss her in front of everyone. This way, everyone knows she's yours and they'll keep their hands off Kiku." Makki suggested, making the Ace flush.

"I-I can't do that in front of people!"

"It's not like any other guy is interested in her, anyway," Mattsun said with a shrug.

"Right, you should worry about _girls_ being interested in her!" Makki exclaimed, laughing.

" _Hanamaki!_ I'm being serious!"

Just then, they arrived at the classroom and Hajime glanced inside, his heart missing a beat when he noticed Kiku. He sighed at the view, overwhelmed by his love for her.

"She's so beautiful…" He whispered.

Mattsun and Makki growled loudly while Oikawa laughed good-heartedly, and pushed Iwaizumi inside the classroom.

"Deep down, you know what you're doing, Iwa-chan. So relax~!" He murmured in his ear, giving him a push.

Hajime stumbled forward then looked back at Oikawa for pushing him. He waved at him to keep going and the Ace relaxed a little. He didn't push him inside the classroom. He didn't push him to go after Kiku the previous day. He didn't push them together. He just gave him a _nudge_ in the right direction.

He smiled to his friend, a real, thankful smile and even if he was still a little overwhelmed by becoming a couple with Kiku, and still a little annoyed at Oikawa's reasons for acting the way he did… he _was_ grateful to him for what he had done. He got to feel this bubbling happiness inside of him everytime he glanced her way.

The moment Kiku looked up at him and smiled softly, he realized he had no reason to worry about the way he acted around her. The way they had been until now was perfect, with even more perfection whenever they'd hold hands or get to kiss.

The day went as usual, Hajime and Kiku slowly relaxing and their nerves disappearing. Their hands brushed during lunch and even if at first they pulled away, after a glance her way, Hajime ended up taking her hand in his under the desks, slowly brushing circle with his thumb over the back of her hand. Shinobu observed them closely during the whole exchange, their sparkling gazes never leaving each other. Discreetly, she gave a little nudge against Oikawa's leg, attracting his attention and they leaned towards each other so she could talk in his ear:

"They're together? Finally?" She asked for confirmation.

He nodded with a big smile. Shinobu turned towards the couple to congratulate them but stopped when she noticed a group of girls, and among them Muraki, glaring at Kiku for getting all of Iwaizumi's attention. And it wasn't just these girls, but other classmates glanced, a little confused at how close the two seemed to be. It wasn't the first time people were curious about the nature of their relationship, no one imagining they could be in love, and even less a couple – the respected Iwaizumi-san had better taste than _that_ , after all! – but some were definitely more against it than others.

Shinobu didn't say anything outloud and Oikawa followed her gaze, understanding what she was thinking about. He kept his lips thin, hoping Iwaizumi's fangirls wouldn't ruin things for the adorable couple. It was bound to happen eventually, Muraki had already acted – but it _was_ worrisome. Especially with how kind Kiku was, and she and Hajime were too far away on planet love to realize _some_ people were glancing their way – or glaring.

At the end of the day, the group of third-years went towards their changing-room – except Kiku who had remained behind to change – but because a lot of students were turning around and whispering, they curiously stopped. Just as someone appeared in the middle of the crowd of students who were going to their club activities or leaving school grounds.

"Iwaizumi!"

The four friends had been too stunned to see Sato Yuuna approach them to react before she called for him. Most students stopped and watched curiously, wondering what a girl from another school wanted to one of their top students. If it was a confession, then they were even more curious and rumors would start to spread soon, it was exciting~!

"Sato… I… haven't seen you in a while," Iwaizumi said, blinking to see her.

"Yeah, yeah, I know – I wanted to see you for a while now. Kiku told me everything."

"Kiku? Akiyama Kiku?" A student whispered.

"Isn't it that weirdo? The one who sits next to Iwaizumi-san?"

"She knows this Akiyama?"

Hajime glanced around, not quite knowing how to interpret Yuuna's sudden arrival.

"By everything you mean…?"

" _Everything_ – she told you her past and secrets and–"

"Could you… keep your voice lower…? Please?" He requested, trying to shush her down as more and more whispering erupted all around them, but she didn't seem to care about _his_ wishes.

"Why would I? Don't tell me you're ashamed of your relationship and you want to keep it a secret!" She exclaimed, a few people gasping to hear such a thing.

"W-wait–"

"I told Kiku to stop fantasizing about you because _really_ , she deserves better than a grumpy-looking guy like you! But she was too stubborn to listen to me, she revealed everything to you and now she sent me all these happy, confusing messages! I'm sure you can guess what I'm getting at, by now, Iwaizumi-san."

"Fantasizing? What is she talking about?"

"Akiyama is in love with Iwaizumi? Pfff! Who does she think she is?"

"Poor Iwaizumi-san!"

Hajime kept his lips thin, his friends glancing around, knowing that it wasn't going in the right direction.

"Uuuh… no, not really, but–"

"It's simple, really! Are you dating my Kiku or not?" Yuuna asked loudly, hands on her hips and staring straight at Iwaizumi.

 _FUCK_. He thought to himself, lips thin and cheeks blushing while everyone gasped – their whispers had turned into actual, shocked conversations.

But right now Kiku's best friend, who was in love with her and was, technically, his rival, was facing him about their relationship. He didn't have time to think about what people thought of it – he needed to stand firm and strong and prove to Yuuna that he wouldn't give up Kiku so easily.

"Yes, I do," he answered with a strong voice, frowning at Yuuna.

"What?!"

"Iwaizumi-san is dating Akiyama?!"

"Why?!"

"It's not fair!"

"She's so ugly and fat! Why _her?!"_

"I don't understand!"

Iwaizumi glared at the crowd, everyone startling at his scary look before they went back to their relatively quiet, but stunned whispers. Half the students were already on their phones, typing the information to everyone they knew, news spreading around the high-school.

Yuuna ignored them all, her entire focus on Iwaizumi. She looked a little surprised by his firmness, though.

"What are you going to do about it? Keep me away from her? _Threaten_ me? Good luck with any of that," he continued, gaze unwavering.

"I… I still don't think you're right for her. You don't know her the way _I_ do!"

"Then I'm going to get to know her! You don't have to come and act all mighty to tell me I don't _deserve_ Kiku! No one has the right to tell me anything! I choose to date whoever I want and it's Kiku! Whether you like or not, doesn't matter to me!" He exclaimed.

He looked straight at Yuuna but everyone knew his words were for the entire crowd. Yuuna stared back, jealousy and sadness shining in her eyes – he knew _why_ , because she _liked_ Kiku. For far longer than he did, and yet, he had arrived and in a few months, he was dating the girl she's been in love with for years. He couldn't imagine seeing Kiku with another person. It'd hurt too much. He was almost feeling compassion for Yuuna when a voice they recognized spoke up in their back:

"Yuuna!"

They all turned towards Kiku as she ran to Yuuna, hugging her happily and a bright smile on her face.

"It's _her_ …"

"Seriously…?"

"What is wrong with Iwaizumi…?"

Sensing that the atmosphere was tense, Kiku pulled away, glancing between Yuuna, Hajime and the crowd. She looked confused then looked back at Hajime.

"W-what's happening?" She asked hesitantly.

"Nothing…" He answered.

He took her hand then pulled her towards the gymnasium. She blushed, and glanced over her shoulder knowing that people were recording it and spreading the news to all their contacts. Soon, all of Aoba Jousai would know that the second most popular guy was taken. By her. Akiyama Kiku. The messed up girl, the fat and ugly one…

It wasn't that they had wanted to keep their relationship a secret. They hadn't even talked about it. But Kiku… didn't want people to know so they wouldn't look at them this way. So they wouldn't look at _Hajime_ like they were now – worried, confused, wondering what was wrong with him… He was the admired Ace – she didn't want this to change but she was tarnishing his reputation, she was burdening his life and his fame. She knew he wasn't the type to care about any of this but… _she_ did. She knew his worth and didn't want people to think less of him because of _her_.

The other third-years followed, a little sheepish by the turn of events and not knowing if they should say anything. They hadn't intervened earlier because it had been a showdown between Iwaizumi and Yuuna but…

"What happened? Y-Yuuna is… why did she come?" Kiku asked, glancing over her shoulder to try to catch sight of her friend but she had left already.

"She wanted to know if we were dating," Iwaizumi answered.

Kiku flushed and looked up at him, silently asking him what he had said. She knew that whatever he had answered was the reason of the crowd's whispers against her. She already knew the answer but she _hoped_ … he had thought twice before speaking.

He looked down at her and shrugged:

"I said yes…"

Her shoulders dropped, and she glanced away but nodded anyway. It wasn't like he could have lied. She just had hoped _she'd_ have had time to get used to their new relationship before people knew about it.

"O-okay…"

"Are you… is it okay for you?" He asked worriedly, squeezing her hand.

"It's fine, I don't mind people knowing about it, it's just… sudden…" She answered.

"They'll get used to it, eventually," he answered matter-of-factly.

She nodded just as Makki coughed to attract their attention, pointing at the gymnasium.

"Um… I think you triggered an uproar, though."

It wasn't rare for some students to come watch their practice, mostly for Oikawa, or for Iwaizumi's biceps… but today it felt like half the school had suddenly gathered there. To catch a glimpse at what they had heard about – was it _true?_ The Ace of Aoba Jousai was _dating_ the socially-awkward and calamity of society AKA Akiyama Kiku? Everyone needed a proof, and now Hajime was starting to regret saying anything.

"…I made a mistake, didn't I?" He asked his friends with a stern voice.

"Probably. Though if you're the one who'll pay the prize, the whole team or if it's Kiku… not sure yet." Hanamaki answered, patting his shoulder.

The team changed clothes, trying to ignore the inevitable whispers and crowd. When practice started, and nothing happening between Kiku and Hajime (they were following their duties, duh – what did these idiots expect?), most observers walked away, deciding that the rumors were false. Of course, even more discussions happened on various clubs, group of friends and classes. By the time the activities of the day were over, _everyone_ knew the rumors that Iwaizumi Hajime might be dating Akiyama _who-is-this-girl_ Kiku.

By the time the practice ended, Iwaizumi was free to accompany Kiku home with any trouble. He kissed her cheek goodnight then the night went by, both hoping things would be smothered by then. Morning practice came, nothing particular happened but the morning was always quiet.

"People got used to it – I knew it wasn't such a big deal!" Iwaizumi exclaimed as they were changing.

"I think you're underestimating the viciousness of jealous fangirls," Hanamaki said.

"I don't have a lot of fangirls, anyway," he said, shrugging casually.

His teammates all stared at him as he put on his tie, not quite believing _he_ believed he didn't have many fangirls. Granted they were more of the calm type, and they weren't constantly confessing the way Oikawa's did (mostly because they knew Iwaizumi would reject them, in Oikawa's case there was always the tiniest of hope he'd be fickle again) but they _were_ here. Most of Oikawa's fans also appreciated Iwaizumi as well, without him knowing it – which was why the girls tried to trap _both_ in a crowd, but the Ace had mastered the art of escaping them. They appreciated him from afar, but they were no less jealous when a girl confessed to him, or if he showed any interest to anyone. Also, he had an army of fanboys looking up at him for how strong and reliable he was.

"You're underestimating your popularity, Iwa-chan. Not that you'd ever reach my popularity level, obviously–"

"What Oikawa is saying is, don't let your guard down," Mattsun translated.

"You'd better keep an eye on Kiku – if Muraki threatened her to keep her hands off you when you weren't even dating, imagine what she could do to her _now_." Hanamaki added.

"They wouldn't go as far as hurting Kiku!" He exclaimed vehemently.

"You _know_ words can do as much damage, if not more…"

"And are you forgetting that time Kiku-chan was bullied by your classmates before she joined the team? When you escaped for an entire afternoon with her?" Oikawa added.

Iwaizumi looked in front of him, at his open locker, without quite seeing it…

"People can't be that cruel…" He mumbled to himself, all the while knowing they _were_.

The others glanced at each other before Hanamaki put his hand on his shoulder:

"You're spending so much time with Kiku, you're starting to sound like her."

Iwaizumi glanced up at him, then he smiled sheepishly, his gaze softening.

"She's so kind and good-hearted, how can I _not_ be inspired by her? She makes people better once they let her touch their souls."

"You're so in love with her I don't even know what's holding you back to ask her hand in marriage right now." Mattsun mumbled, rolling his eyes when the Ace blushed.

Everyone smiled or chuckled upon seeing this adorable reaction. Once everyone was done changing and had their bags, Iwaizumi locked the changing-room and the third-years went towards the building. The waves of students who didn't have club activities in the morning were filling the court and the halls. Almost everyone glanced in their way, which wasn't unusual considering the attention Oikawa (and sometimes the three others) usually got – but wherever they went, heavy silence or stunned whispers followed.

Kiku exited the girls' changing-room and after just a few steps, she felt a few people's gazes on her and conversations going silent. She lowered her head, using her hair to hide her face. She grabbed her bag and used it as a safety net, holding onto it tightly.

"Akiyama!"

She looked up, seeing Hanamaki, and all the others approaching her. And mostly… Iwaizumi… He smiled at her, whispering intensifying.

"It's her…" Someone whispered as they reached her.

"The girl who is dating Iwaizumi-san…?"

"Yeah, and did you know…"

Kiku stopped listening to them when their voices blurred together, she looked up at Iwaizumi and he sensed her silent call for help. She immediately looked away, as if she didn't want to be seen with him – not that she _didn't_ want to be with him, but she just wished people would stop pointing at her and saying how terrible she was for Iwaizumi.

Her field of vision was suddenly invaded by a hand, opened for her. She looked up, stunned, at Iwaizumi who was flushing and didn't dare meet her gaze, too embarrassed. But he offered her his hand, his support. Smiling, she took it and they started walking through the halls, ignoring the whispers and mocking laughs following them. It became easier, as long as Iwaizumi was holding her hand, as long as she felt his presence, she felt safe.

"Did you know she's adopted?"

Kiku went to a stop, Hajime and the others, who had heard, looking up as well, stunned. They were the only ones knowing about Kiku being adopted and her past – but only Hajime and Oikawa knew the exact details.

They were in the hall for the third-years' classrooms, and rumors were more vivid here considering these students knew Iwaizumi and Akiyama better. That they had seen them interact together. The news that they were dating had been a shock, but it came without a surprise – it was other rumors that had spread during the night, though.

"Yeah, her own parents had tried killing her, didn't they?"

"Poor thing, it explains a lot about her!"

"Abandoned as a baby…"

"Maybe that's why he's dating her?"

"Yeah, he must be pitying her."

"There's no other explanation."

Kiku started trembling, memories filling her mind. She suddenly pulled away from Hajime and covered her ears, trying to smother everyone's voice but it was too late – they _knew_. They knew the truth. They knew how despicable she was, how everyone had always hated and rejected her. They thought that the reason why Hajime was holding her hand was because he had taken pity on her – she would believe such a thing as well if she didn't know Hajime so well… She had always kept it a secret, the truth about her past. Being abandoned at birth, abused by her foster family, adopted times and times again… it was something she couldn't talk about easily, she only told people she absolutely trusted. It was her darkest secret, her awful story. She didn't want people to look at her with such pity, she just wanted them to _see_ her as a human being. The idea of people she didn't know, the _whole school_ knowing what had happened at her hit her like a train. Her heart started beating frenetically, panic filling her veins like ice, freezing her where she was. She couldn't see clearly, she couldn't hear anything else but their words mixing with memories coming back. The only thing she felt was panic – she was lost and confused. How could they know? How would they act towards her now that they knew? What was she supposed to do? How would she handle it?

Hajime looked at Kiku helplessly, knowing damn well she was panicking but not knowing what to do. Even if he'd yell at people to shut up, the wrong had been done. How did they even learn about it?! Only Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa knew and they would never spill anything to anyone! Just seeing their shocked expressions was enough to prove they were as stunned to hear these words as Hajime and Kiku were.

"Kiku… Kiku, don't listen to them…" Hajime started, shaking her shoulder lightly.

She didn't listen – _no_ , she didn't hear, eyes wide and staring in emptiness. Tears of panic had filled her eyes and he could only imagine how she felt. Her heart slowly squeezing in fear, stomach knot and making her feel sick, throat tight as sobs and tears threatened to shake her body…

"Kiku!"

He grabbed her shoulders to force her to look at him but just as she reacted, taking a deep breath and bravely tilting her head upwards to look at him, to look forward, someone's bitter voice resonated.

"Just go back to your dumpster! That's where you come from, don't you? If your own parents didn't want of you, what makes you think Iwaizumi-san would want of someone like _you?!"_

"OI! Who said that?!" Hanamaki shouted.

Everyone turned silent – it had been a girl's voice, but impossible to pinpoint whose and where it came from. Many glanced around, trying to find out who it had been because even stunned people, or jealous ones, wouldn't go that far. It was way too much saying such a thing.

The reaction from Kiku was immediate. Her shoulders shook and she covered her face with her hands, biting hard on her lower lip to keep herself from crying. She was breathing heavily and–

She startled when someone suddenly started touching her. She looked up, shocked and for a moment, clear-minded, as Hajime forced headphones in her ears. He clicked on his ipod and immediately, music started blasting in her ears. It filled her head, covering everyone's voices around, all the sounds, even the memories. Hajime grabbed her shoulders and he looked, worried-sick, straight into her eyes, saying soothing words she couldn't hear.

 _Just breath, it's going to be fine_ … He had said from what she read on his lips.

He took a deep breath. Unconsciously, she followed his example and her heart calmed down. Her breathing calmed down until it followed the steady rhythm of the music in her ears, cutting her off from the world. Except Hajime. He was the one holding her hands, looking into her eyes with worry and love and care. He was the one protecting her, like always.

Once she had calmed down enough, he surrounded her shoulders with his arm, pulling her tight against him then pulling her for a quick walk to get away from the people. He made sure she wouldn't made eye-contact with the gazes filled with pity and Kiku closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, taking in his scent. He smelled of sweat and a little of his shower gel but it wasn't disagreeable. It was exactly how she had always imagined he'd smell like.

A few minutes later, all five were hidden in a dark hall, away from people. Kiku was sitting on the floor, music back into Hajime's pocket but she kept her face hidden into her knees, nails digging into the side of her legs brought up. Hajime was crouched down in front of her, gently tying to distract her, to keep her from bad thoughts. Hanamaki was leaning against the wall the furthest away, gaze turned away, arms crossed and watching the hall to make sure no one undesirable would come.

Now that Kiku had kept her panic attack away – thanks to Hajime's intervention – she was haunted by questions.

"How did they find out…?"

"Unfortunately, with the social networks, whether we want it or not, we're all connected…" Matsukawa muttered, leaning against the wall casually, currently checking what the few groups of the high-school were up to – Iwaizumi's adopted girlfriend was the most popular and shared information of the moment.

"And it's the sort of information that would spread like wildfire. Getting Kiku's name known by saying she's Iwaizumi's girlfriend, then revealing that." Oikawa agreed.

"Then who was the one to find out? Someone must have put it on the school groups…! How could they do that…?" Kiku whined, looking up helplessly.

Hajime brushed her elbows softly, looking at her sadly. He couldn't shrug off his guilt – if he hadn't felt necessary for Kiku to open up to him, she wouldn't have done so. He wouldn't have shared her story and she wouldn't be so shaken up right now.

"It's easy to find out." He said, making her look at him, "You never told anyone except me. And I only told you three." He added, standing up and staring at his friends, a little more darkly than intended.

Mattsun looked up from his phone, raising an eyebrow while Oikawa stopped breathing out of shock.

"Are you saying it's _us?_ How could you say that, Iwa-chan?!" He exclaimed at once, feeling betrayed he'd have so little faith in him.

"I'm just saying, only the four of us knew! It _has_ to be one of us! Maybe one of you accidentally told someone who then revealed everything!"

"The only one who ever revealed anything is _you!_ You're the one who kept repeating to whoever would listen! You told Oikawa, then Hanamaki, then me!" Matsukawa exclaimed, frowning at the Ace.

He then turned towards Kiku who was looking at the boys, frightened by how it was turning out.

"If you want to blame anyone, blame your boyfriend because he was the first one who couldn't keep his mouth shut!"

"The _first_ one?! Does this mean _you_ couldn't keep it shut as well?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, voice rising.

"Guys, calm down!" Oikawa said, stepping forward but Iwaizumi shrugged him off.

"I don't give a shit about this story! Why would I tell anyone?!"

"You're the one who said the social networks would be the best way to reveal anything!"

"It doesn't mean _I_ would reveal anything! Why are you so quick of accusing _me_ and not saying anything to your best friend?! Oikawa is the one who can never shut up or keep a secret, anyway!"

"Why are you accusing _me?!"_ Oikawa hissed when both turned around, "I wouldn't say a thing, Iwa-chan! Don't you trust your best friend?!"

"The best friend excuse, right away! You think I'm not his friend, perhaps?! I wouldn't say anything, I'm quiet, you! You can never shut up about anything! As long as you have the attention on you, you're glad! You planned everything for Kiku and Iwaizumi to get together but then, you realized you could also get a good fun out of it so you revealed everything to one of your many contacts!"

"I would _never_ do such a thing! I'm not the kind of person who would use others for my own fun!"

" _Come on!_ That's the biggest lie you could possibly give us! You're the only one who would do that out of all of us!"

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"You're a fucked up sociopath! You admitted the only reason you wanted a girlfriend for your friend was so he'd leave you alone and so you could get _yourself_ a girl! How is that not for your own sake?!"

"I never meant to hurt anyone!"

"SO you're admitting it!"

"NO! I didn't reveal Kiku's past to anyone!"

Kiku tried to speak up but their argument was raising higher and higher and she couldn't. She glanced at everyone, these four friends who would go through any shenanigans together and were now arguing about who was responsible. Because of _her_. Because of her past – she kept hurting people she cared about. Powerless tears filled her eyes.

As soon as the two shut up, Iwaizumi looked up, staring straight at Hanamaki who hadn't said a thing and hadn't moved from the beginning of the conversation.

"You're awfully quiet, Hanamaki…" He said in a low voice.

Oikawa and Matsukawa immediately turned to him, narrowing their eyes as he remained still.

"That's right – you've always tricked and teased Kiku-chan! You're the one who would do such a thing!"

"Sounds just like the type of fun you'd have, you love making her cry, don't you…" Mattsun added, the two now teaming up to accuse Hanamaki.

Takahiro slowly turned around, staring straight at them, almost dangerously.

"Really? You think I'd go as far as revealing her trauma to make fun of her? Instead of accusing me, you should think about what people said – her parents trying to kill her? Abandoned as a baby in a dumpster? _I_ didn't even know these details! It can't be me!"

"Right… me neither, so…"

They all turned to Oikawa who startled. Almost at once, his shoulders dropped and his eyes became teary – they _really_ thought he would betray them all, and especially Kiku by saying everything…

"D-don't you trust me…? I'm… I'd never do that! Iwa-chan, you know it!" He exclaimed, almost pleading.

"…Look, even if you told someone you thought you could trust–"

"But I _didn't!_ Why don't you believe me?!"

"You always lie…" Matsukawa muttered, glancing away with thin lips.

"I-I wouldn't lie about such a thing!"

"Tooru!"

Everyone turned around and saw Marika suddenly appearing, she sighed in relief to see him and she hesitated when she felt the tense atmosphere.

"Marika – not now… please!" Oikawa exclaimed, before sighing.

She opened and closed her lips before speaking up anyway:

"I was looking for you – your coach is looking everywhere for you or Iwaizumi-san… he…"

She glanced at the crouched figure of Kiku, and she immediately looked away, biting down on her lip.

"He wants to find his… niece… or… he's not really her uncle but…"

She took a shaky breath and looked down.

"I… I'm coming…" Kiku spoke up, standing up.

"Wait – no, you're not going _anywhere_ on your own. I'm coming with you!" Iwaizumi exclaimed before turning to the others, "We'll figure it out later!"

"It's already figured out, though," Mattsun said.

"I'm telling you it's not me!" Oikawa exclaimed.

Marika turned around, her message given but before she could go, Hanamaki blocked her way, arms crossed.

"Marika, you don't seem very surprised by this revelation. I mean, everyone else is pretty shocked to know the truth. Even _we_ are shaken up that people know, but you're… very calm." He stated.

"I… I don't see what you're talking about…"

Iwaizumi let out a heavy breath then turned towards Oikawa.

"You told her… I… I told you because I thought I could _trust_ you!" He exclaimed, connecting the dots.

Oikawa opened his lips, but Marika bit on her lower lip and whipped around.

"It's not him! Oikawa-san didn't… tell me _anything_ …" She said, immediately glancing down guiltily.

It took a moment for everyone's minds to keep up with what she was saying. Oikawa stared at her with his mouth hanging open, not quite believing she'd dare do such a thing – how she had found out didn't even cross his mind at the moment. The boys were all too shaken up, after riling each other's up, to think clearly at Marika's words. So it was Kiku who approached and spoke up calmly:

"How did you learn the truth then?" She asked softly.

Marika hesitated then her shoulders dropped:

"I… the day Iwaizumi-san came to talk to Tooru… I… I was there."

"But you _left_ , you left us alone! You _weren't_ here!" Oikawa exclaimed before he let out a heavy sigh, "But you listened to the door, didn't you…?"

"I! Iwaizumi-san was so shaken up! I thought it wouldn't take long so I decided to wait for you to be done talking outside your bedroom! When I heard him sob and when he started telling everything he had learned about Akiyama-san…! I-I ended up listening to the whole story but… _I'm_ not the one who revealed it all!"

"Then, who did?" Hanamaki asked darkly.

Marika looked down, guilty tears appearing in her eyes.

"I-I don't know… I tried finding out since the rumors started but… all the people I told it to wouldn't reveal it to anyone so I–"

"How many people did you tell?" Iwaizumi asked, stunned.

"T-two or three… or four… o-or maybe five…"

Oikawa let himself fall against the wall, covering his face with his hands while Iwaizumi stared hard at Marika.

"I-it was such an intense, heavy story! I couldn't stay quiet! I needed someone to talk to and Tooru just… kept everything to himself!"

"There was a reason why I did so!" He exclaimed, hands to the sky.

"Perhaps if you weren't always off practicing or doing the gods-know-what instead of being with me!"

" _Don't_ bring in volleyball in this! You know damn well you _shouldn't_ have told anyone such a story! But you couldn't keep yourself from talking about it because it was such an interesting gossip! One of your friend must have revealed everything or told someone who did!"

"Whoever it is won't admit it, though," Matsukawa said.

"I can't believe it's my fault… if I had known…!" Oikawa started, hands in his hair.

"No, it's _my_ fault, I shouldn't have just showed to your place and said everything like that…" Iwaizumi muttered, clenching his fists guiltily.

Kiku looked up at all of them, turning around until she sighed loudly, attracting their attention.

"You guys are making such a fuss out of it…" She started, looking exhausted, "I-it's true that I hate the idea that people know the truth but… now they do and I can't change it. Knowing who is behind it will do nothing to settle the problem."

"But, Kiku…" Hajime started sadly, "People will… they've always been so mean to you… what if it gets worse…?"

"I'm… used to it. I've always wanted people to appreciate me for who I was, not out of pity because of what had happened to me…" She answered, looking down, "I kept it for myself most of my life, I never talked about it. I… I only revealed to Yuuna because she was my best friend. I couldn't even tell my neighbor I had known for so many years I was adopted…"

Takahiro glanced up but she continued, smiling sadly and staring at the ground:

"Trusting _you_ was… so difficult but… in the end it didn't do any bad. I thought you'd leave me but… you _didn't_. _None_ of you did…"

She took a deep breath then looked up, forcing a brave smile on her face:

"I let my past be a burden by not talking about it, it was like a taboo I never mentioned and avoided thinking about, facing people with the truth was as frightening as looking at my scars. But… but perhaps it's time I face my demons…!" She said, voice a little shaky and tears in her eyes.

They all looked at her, a little stunned by her decision to face the people who had bad-mouthed her for being adopted. It was the girl abandoned at birth in a dumpster, it was the girl who went from foster family to foster family, who was covered in scars for years of abuse… She had let her trauma rot away her trust in people, but she was still standing. She was facing the man she had fallen in love with, the man she had trusted more than anyone when she needed it most. She was facing her friends who had accepted her despite her dark past. She could face the people she had run away from for years.

Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa stared at her with proud smiles. Hajime… he kept staring at her with his mouth hanging open. It was hard to believe it was the same girl who barely managed to tell him _"good morning"_ when they had started their third-year. But so much had happened, so many things had changed – they were a couple and more importantly… everyday Kiku was more and more who she should be, showing everyone her worth. The strong woman she ought to be, that she _really_ was.

Getting emotional, unable to find words to describe how proud and in love he was at the moment of this strong, beautiful woman, Hajime suddenly grabbed her face and leaned down, crushing his lips against hers. Shocked by his sudden kiss, Kiku gasped against his lips before closing her eyes and leaning in against him.

The others politely glanced away, embarrassed by the intense kiss they were sharing. Except Matsukawa who was recording it all on his phone, grinning to himself until Oikawa made him a sign to stop.

Pulling away for air, Kiku looked up, cheeks a bright red and her hands over Hajime's. Blinking, still a little shaken up in the best way by this breathtaking kiss, it took a moment for Kiku's mind to function.

"W-what was that for…?" She asked, but a happy smile on her face.

"I-I… I just, you're so incredible… I couldn't help it – you're such, you're such a breathtaking person and I'm so in love with you…" He said in awe, blushing just as much as she did.

They stared at each other with giddy smiles until Hanamaki coughed, embarrassed to be viewing such a scene. It reminded the couple they had a public and they pulled away, avoiding looking into anyone's eyes.

"Not to break the mood, but class will start in like three minutes. It's barely eight in the morning, I can't face such passionate declaration of love or so many emotions, it's too early, okay?"

"I need a nap…" Mattsun muttered, already planning how his morning would go: napping.

"Before that…" Kiku started with a sweet smile.

She hit Hajime in the ribs so hard he bent over, letting out a heavy gasp. Before he could recover, she hit Oikawa as well then kicked both Matsukawa and Hanamaki one after another. They all gasped and started massaging what had been hit.

"On your knees, _now_." Kiku ordered with a hard gaze, pointing in front of her.

Oikawa was the first one to obey, the others following his example, looking up sheepishly at their manager. She looked down at them, hands on her hips and frowning, a fire from hell surrounding her.

"What were you thinking, you idiots?! And I'm looking at you especially, Hajime!"

He startled as his girlfriend started scolding him:

"Why would you think one of your friends is the one who had betrayed you?"

"B-but, how was I supposed to know–"

"I don't care! You _all_ started accusing each other, arguing and riling each other's up! Do you have _any_ idea how terrible it was? How frightened I was that because of _me_ , your friendship would be ruined?!"

They all glanced at each other guiltily, knowing she was right and they had all overreacted and let the situation take the better of them.

"The strength of Aoba Jousai's volleyball team is the _trust_ you have in each other! _Trust!_ You can't let _anything_ get in the way of your friendship and the _absolute_ _trust_ in one another, is it understood?"

"Y-yes…" They all mumbled.

"You're punished! No practice for you tonight!" She decided.

"Wha– you _can't_ do that! You're only the manager! We're the _core_ of the team, we cannot _not_ practice!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"We'll see about that." She answered, unwavering, "What sort of core are you, if you don't trust each other?!"

"We never had any problem before…"

"It was just _one_ argument…"

"You demon…"

"You're painfully right…"

They all looked at Iwaizumi who looked down guiltily.

"I… was the first one to mistrust you guys, and spread suspicion among us… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you."

"I would have done the same." Mattsun shrugged.

"We _did_ do the same, actually," Makki added.

"You were all so mean to me…" Oikawa whined, looking away.

"It was because of _your_ girlfriend in the end – you should have made sure she was away from your door!"

"Agh! How was I supposed to know?!"

"Let's calm down, okay?" Iwaizumi mumbled, holding out his hands.

"You're playing it cool because it's your girlfriend's order."

"Oi!"

Kiku sighed then turned towards Marika who startled guiltily, expecting to be hit or scolded.

"Don't worry about this, okay…? I don't blame you or your friends." Kiku said with a kind smile.

Marika stared at her, stunned she'd forgive her… she looked down gratefully.

The boys stood up and followed their manager. Even if Kiku's walk was a little hesitant, even if she had a hard time keeping her head up. Even if she fought against the reflex of hiding her face when people glanced her way… The moment Hajime put his hand on her shoulder, silently reminding her she wasn't facing this alone… it wasn't so scary anymore. She looked up, she didn't cover her eyes, she didn't cover her ears, she didn't stay quiet. She faced the world.

BONUS

 _[This day's practice, after classes…]_

"I've heard everything about Akiyama-senpai, it's terrible but… what happened exactly?" Kindaichi asked, sounding confused.

"Don't ask me, I'm as lost as you are," Kunimi answered.

"Ah… you mean about the senpais?" Yahaba asked when he overheard them.

They nodded and all three glanced at a corner of the gymnasium where there was an unexpected view: Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa were all sitting miserably on the floor, stuck against one another by the club's banner that was surrounding them tightly.

"…What are they doing here, not practicing?" Kindaichi asked.

"What are they doing wrapped up like a giant sushi?" Kunimi added, narrowing his eyes at the vision.

"They're… punished." Yahaba answered hesitantly, looking away from the brooding pouts on his senpais' faces.

His juniors looked confused and he pointed at Akiyama who was taking notes in her manager's notebook, looking unphased by her boyfriend and the rest of the third-year regulars's sudden transformation into a sushi. Both coaches were at her sides and seemed just as casual.

"I don't know the details, but Akiyama-senpai couldn't find a _"get along shirt"_ big enough for all four of them so… she forced them into the _"get along banner"_. Something about trusting each other…" He explained sheepishly.

They looked back at the group of third-years who were just staring at the practice, looking bored, annoyed and ashamed.

"I think it's working." Yahaba remarked with a shrug.

* * *

 _So, everyone knows... everything._

 _Tell me what you think! ;)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : HAPPY BIRTHDAY ACE! (we'll pretend the timing fits with his birthday date, sorry for mesisng it up a little :x )_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	41. Happy Birthday, Ace!

_Here is the new chapter! It's a very long chapter so I'll wait a little longer than usual for chapter 42! ;)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **Starrat** : I hope you'll love this chapter as well~! :)_

 _ **forevertrash97** : Of curse the "get along sushi" worked! XD They're super friends anyway, they nede more than htat to break! :) Oikawa loves attention, but he's more loyal than selfish. He'd protect Hajime and Kiku with his life if necessary. Ahah, at first I hated Oikawa butin the end he ended up being the charater I am the most alike with and I love him from the bototm of my heart. I'd protect him with everything I've got - along with pretty much all the other characters but well! XD What made you change what you thought of him? :)_

 _ **Krisia** : And there'll be so many more tears... But also lots of happy moments! :D I hope you'll love this chapter as much as the sneak peak I had sent you! ;)_

 _ **Aquafin** : Ahah, I'm glad you liked the chapter! And yeah, she'd be an amazing mom! XD (don't tell Hajiem yet, he'll get too embarrassed) (or tell him anyway, he's cute when he's embarrassed)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Your reviews re always so vivid and honest, I love it! You seem like such a head-strong person, I hope you konw how improtant this personality trait can be! :D Keep going, girl, I support you! :D_

 _ **deadlywhisper21** : Of course Oikawa was the one pouting most. It's Oikawa! XD I hope to finish Sowlmates and Quiet Voice around the same time because Sowlmates is 'almost' done and QV doesn't have a story as stretched in time as Sowlmate is. I'll start to post th Kuroo and Oikawa fics when I'll be... 5-10 chapters before the end of Sowlmates and Quiet Voice. So... let's say... for Sowlmates there are the summer arc going on to finish, the Spring High, the final arc then it'll be done (hoping around December but I can't be a 100%sure) then Kuroo's story. And for Quiet Voice... summer arc going on as well, SH... and final arc. Actually, they're almost tot he same level so... let's pray that by December I'll have the two other stories posted and started! :D (it all depedns on hoow much freetime I'll have to write once I'll go back to the university, unfortunately)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XLI : Happy Birthday, Ace!

" _A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life."_

― **Amit Kalantri, Wealth of Words**

" _Deep down I believe my year was a special year: it produced me."_

― **Ned Vizzini**

" _But nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it."_

― **Calla Quinn, All the Time**

" _Keep your best wishes, close to your heart and watch what happens."_

― **Tony DeLiso, Legacy: The Power Within**

" _When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you."_

― **Shannon L. Alder**

" _But all fairytales have rules, and perhaps it's their rules that actually distinguish one fairytale from the other. These rules never need to be understood. They only need to be followed. If not, what they promise won't come true."_

― **Jostein Gaarder**

" _Someone probably desires you. Someone probably inspires you. If it's the same person – lucky you."_

— **Bruce Adler**

" _That's the curious thing about love, isn't it? It makes very ordinary things seem special. It makes them seem so much more valuable than they really are."_

— **Alexander McCall Smith, Trains and Lovers**

" _When you are attracted to people, it's because of the details. Their kindness. Their eyes. The fact that they can get you to laugh when you need it the most."_

— **Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home**

" _She was laughing even as we kissed and kissed again. There is no better taste than this: someone else's laughter in your mouth."_

— **Maggie Stiefvater, Forever**

" _You ever just look at somebody and it's like your soul aches to touch them?"_

— **N.M. Sanchez**

" _Allowing someone close to you is seriously the bravest thing a human can ever do."_

— **Melly (Ambiguities)**

" _She wanted to bottle up how safe she felt in this moment, so she could drink it later when loneliness and fear left her parched."_

— **Kristin Hannah**

" _I like_ _canceled_ _plans. And empty bookstores. I like rainy days and thunderstorms. And quiet coffee shops. I like messy beds and over-worn pajamas. Most of all, I like the small joys that a simple life brings."_

— **Unknown**

" _When you fall for someone's personality, everything about them becomes beautiful."_

— **Reeva Steenkamp**

 **I'm not feeling very well today, so I won't go to school. Sorry, have a nice day!**

Hajime stared at the message on his phone, still sleepy but immediately letting himself fall on the bed, arms spread out. It was the worst birthday message ever. It wasn't even a birthday message. But the perspective of spending the day without Kiku was horrifying. The last two days had been perfect – except a few accidents here and there – but just as she had said, she faced everyone. She didn't tremble, she didn't get scared even if he could tell how heavy a burden it was for her. Every time, he quietly reminded her she wasn't alone and that if it ever became too much, she could tell him. He would always listen to her, he'd always be here for her. But she persisted everything was fine. And now, she wasn't coming to school. Because she didn't feel well.

A knock at his door made him look up and without waiting for his son's answer, Takashi entered the bedroom, wearing his police officer uniform – he was going on an early shift today.

"Hey, I was about to head out but I heard your clock ringing. Happy birthday!" He exclaimed, going to sit on the side of his bed.

"Thanks, dad."

"Your mother forbid me to give you your birthday gift, or tell you what it is, but you're going to _love_ it!"

"…I don't want a gift, just money is okay…" Hajime answered with a shrug.

"For your eighteenth birthday? Come on, we can do better than that!" Takashi exclaimed, tapping Hajime's thigh but his son didn't react.

Realizing that there was something wrong for staring so long at his ceiling – and not because Hajime was feeling old like _he_ did every year at his birthday – Takashi turned around.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hajime gave him his phone without a word as answer. He read the message, understanding why his son looked so down.

"Ah. It's that time of the year again…" He mumbled to himself, giving his phone back to Hajime who furrowed his brows in confusion, "You don't know the day I found her?"

Hajime's lips fell open and he remembered what he had read in the police file – the date when Kiku was saved from the Himura. He covered his face with his hands, feeling stupid for not realizing earlier what could be the problem.

"…It's the night he attacked her… the same date as my birthday…! I'm such an idiot…!" He mumbled to himself.

"I suppose it's the worst day of the year for her," Takashi added, "But you shouldn't let it drop your mood. It's _your_ birthday, you're turning eighteen, so you'd better enjoy it!"

"I want to enjoy it with my girlfriend! Who is traumatized by this day! And constantly reminded of this trauma by the man who saved her – to whom I look like a carbon copy!" He exclaimed.

"I apologize for saving your girlfriend's life. If it weren't for me you probably wouldn't have a girlfriend at all to this day. Come on, it's just one girl you've been dating for _four_ days, against the day you were _born!_ Get up and stop brooding, you'd better enjoy this day to its fullest or I'll go back in the past to change the day Kiku was saved!"

"It's impossible," he mumbled, sitting up and glancing up at his father, "What should I do? For Kiku? Even if it's my birthday, she needs me…"

Takashi hesitated before shrugging:

"Talk to her? Give her space? Comfort her? I don't know what she needs. _You're_ her boyfriend. It's your job to figure it out." He answered, standing up.

Hajime gave him a long look, having hoped for a better advice than that.

"And it's your job as father to help me figure out how to be a boyfriend!" He exclaimed as Takashi exited the bedroom.

"My job as father is to ensure you don't go make babies too young! The rest is up to you!" He answered, out of view.

Hajime growled then fell against his pillows. By the time he went to take his breakfast, his father was already gone to work but his mother was here, staring at him with a happy smile.

"Happy birthday, my big boy!" She exclaimed, putting down breakfast.

"Thanks, mom," he answered, kissing her cheek with a smile.

The moment he was sitting she kissed his temple and shook his hair playfully.

"I can't believe you're turning eighteen today… I feel like I was holding my little bundle of joy just yesterday… You were such a small baby, you came too soon, you know."

"I was a perfectly grown baby," he answered, munching on his food.

"Of course you were, but I had been so worried when you arrived early. You were planned to be born a month later – you could have shared the same birthday as Tooru!"

"I'm glad to be a month older than him," he answered.

"I hope that your children and Tooru's will grow up together like you two did!" She continued, already thinking of her grandchildren.

"Mom, I'm only eighteen years old, I'm not having any kid." He answered with an amused smile.

 _I'm eighteen… wow… it's my last year of high-school. I can't believe I'm eighteen,_ _it_ _do_ _es_ _n't feel much differen_ _t_ _from seventeen, after all_ … He thought to himself.

"You said you would adopt!"

Before he could correct her, she turned around:

"Talking about babies – is Kiku coming to your birthday party?" She asked with a smile.

Hajime swallowed the wrong way, suddenly coughing that not only his girlfriend was mentioned but that his mother was associating her with _"baby talk"._

Knowing damn well she had flustered him, Umeko smirked to herself as he drank some orange juice to stop coughing.

"U-uh, y-yeah, she's coming… she said she'll bring the cakes too."

"I'll finally get to meet her! I can't wait!" Umeko exclaimed.

"You and dad are supposed to be away, aren't you?" He asked to be certain.

"I'm not missing the chance of meeting your girlfriend and saying hi to your friends. But _yes_ , you will have the apartment for the afternoon _and_ the night. I know what you boys are like. No breaking like last year like we agreed. Will Kiku stay the night as well?" She asked curiously.

He blushed once again, avoiding her gaze.

"I-I d-don't know… yet…"

"You didn't dare ask her if she wanted to stay with you, isn't it?" Umeko concluded, he nodded and she sighed, "Well, you'd better ask her confirmation for staying the night so she can warn her parents. If she _does_ stay the night, be a gentleman and let her sleep in your bed – we have enough futons for everyone else I think."

"I _know_ that!" He exclaimed, offended she'd think he'd let his girlfriend sleep on the floor, the couch or in a futon like the others.

If she stayed the night, she'll have a special treatment, a _royal_ treatment. His girlfriend deserved everything and more.

"Oh, I will _finally_ be able to show your baby pictures to your girlfriend~! I've been waiting for this day for so long! I have to go find all the picture albums…"

"Wait– mom! No! Not the baby pictures! Don't do that!" He exclaimed, standing up but she was already disappearing, " _Not_ the baby pictures!"

Before he could convince his mother to spare him the embarrassment of showing his baby pictures to his girlfriend the first time they'd meet, the doorway opened.

"Happy birthday, Iwa-chan~!"

Oikawa entered, opening his arms wide, a gigantic smile on his face.

"Happy birthday!" He exclaimed again, staring at him.

"As loud as usual, I see…" Iwaizumi answered, approaching him.

When Oikawa grabbed him into a big hug, patting his back.

"Iwa-chan, you've grown so much~! Already eighteen years old and with a girlfriend~!"

"I'm a month older than you, Oikawa," he answered, rolling his eyes with an amused smile on his face.

"Doesn't matter! You'll always be my tiny, grumpy Iwa-chan! _Literally_ , you've always been shorter than me. But it's particularly obvious since high-school considering you're still stuck under the 180cm! Ahah~!"

Hajime's smile dropped and he pulled away, rolling his eyes – this time out of annoyance to be reminded of his short stature. Trashykawa _knew_ how sensitive he was about his height – he totally did it on purpose.

"You'll receive your birthday gift on Saturday~! Will Kiku-chan join us?"

"Yet again, _yes_ , Kiku will be here," Hajime answered, wondering whose birthday party it really was, "And before you ask, _no_ , I don't know if she'll stay the night!"

"It'd be fun! We could– is your mother around?" He suddenly asked in a hushed voice, "We could WATCH MOVIES!" He exclaimed loudly when Hajime nodded to his question.

"I know _why_ my vase broke last year, Tooru!" Umeko exclaimed from her bedroom.

"Does she?" Tooru asked Hajime in a whisper for confirmation.

"Yes, she does, let's go to school now."

"You _told_ your parents we had brought alcohol?!"

"They guessed on their own, now let's go," Hajime decided, pushing him off, "We're leaving, mom!"

"Have a nice day! Say hi to Kiku for me!"

As soon as they were out, Oikawa chuckled teasingly.

"It sounds like your mother already considers Kiku-chan like her daughter-in-law~!"

"Don't tell me, she's _overjoyed_ I have a girlfriend now. She said she was worried for me. I don't see why not having a girlfriend is worrisome."

"She _did_ ask me a few times if you were gay. Or if we were hiding our relationship." Oikawa said with a shrug.

Iwaizumi turned to him with wide eyes, not believing his mother had thought he was _gay_ for _Oikawa_ – and _worse_ , that she'd talk to his _friend_ instead of _him_ about it! And _even worse!_ That he was the _last one_ knowing about it!

"What did you answer?" He asked, baffled.

"Well, the _truth_ , my Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa hummed turning to him and lifting up his chin from the tip of his fingers, diving his gaze into his friend's, "There was no reason to hide our love any longer, after all, so–"

An angry vein popped on Iwaizumi's forehead and he grabbed Oikawa's jacket, forcing him to get away from him then pushing him forward, ignoring his amused laugh.

" _Not_ a funny joke, you idiot! If you _really_ said that to my mother, I swear I'm going to end you!"

"It _is_ a little funny–"

"No, it's not!"

"-And I told your mom the _truth!_ That you were sexually assaulted or broken-hearted by all the girls you had a crush on – until Kiku!"

"I wasn't sexually assaulted."

"Forcing a kiss on you, and telling you that if you wanted they'd suck your dick _can_ enter the category of a sexual assault." Oikawa answered seriously.

"Don't remind me of these crazy chicks, please," Iwaizumi sighed.

They arrived at Aoba Jousai, Matsukawa and Hanamaki meeting them. After some more _"happy birthday, Ace!"_ from them, the conversation continued with the addition of their two friends.

"It's kinda funny that all the girls who confessed to you thought you like the wild-type of girls. Every time one of them confessed, it was with the full intention of banging you within minutes against a tree." Makki said, thinking back on all the stories related to the girls confessing to Iwaizumi.

"They must be _so_ green to realize your type actually is the cute and adorable!" Mattsun added, snorting.

"I never understood why they assumed I preferred 'wild' girls. Because of that they acted like crazy…!" He complained as they changed.

"You _did_ get your first kiss stolen by one of your girls because she had thought that you'd like girls who could– how did she put it? Take initiative?" Oikawa continued, chuckling when he thought back on the scene (he had been spying on the confession when the girl suddenly jumped on Iwaizumi and kissed him, stealing his first kiss and then looking all confused and bashful as to _why_ he had blushed so much and pushed her away)

"Ugh…"

"And that one you rejected and then told you she'd give you a blowjob if you accepted to date her!" Matsukawa exclaimed, "She was really persistent!"

"There were a few who proposed birthday blowjobs and also birthday sex – you'll probably receive some offers today as well!" Hanamaki added with a teasing grin.

"Does Kiku know any of that?" Matsukawa asked, leaning casually against the lockers.

"Not _yet_ , and _you_ will not tell her _any_ of that – I might eventually tell her. In like, seventy years form now." He answered.

"I doubt Kiku-chan is the jealous type, not that she wouldn't protect her territory but she probably doesn't care what happened in the past." Oikawa said with a shrug.

"Because it's known you never had a girlfriend; though, she probably thinks she was your first kiss. She might be disappointed." Matsukawa added.

"I never considered this attack like my first kiss, anyway."

"What if Kiku had already kissed? By Yuuna or someone else?" Hanamaki exclaimed suddenly.

They all gave him long looks – a particularly harsh one from Iwaizumi. But talking abut Kiku reminded him that she wouldn't be here today.

"She's not coming today. She's staying home." He said suddenly.

"Eh? But _why?!_ It's your birthday!" Oikawa exclaimed with wide eyes.

"…The day this bastard attacked her and she was saved by my father – it was the same day as my birthday." He explained quickly in a hushed voice so that this detail in particular would escape the rest of their teammates.

They all glanced at each other, understanding that she wouldn't be in any shape to go to school and act normal – her boyfriend's birthday or not, her trauma was too strong.

"Will you be okay?" Mattsun asked Iwaizumi.

"Oh? Uh, yeah. I'm just worried for her…" He answered.

The practice went as usual, despite the little moment of crazy where they all congratulated their Ace for his birthday, the birthday song resonating in the gymnasium. Once they went to the main building for their day of classes, Hajime opened his locker to change his shoes and a pile of letters, boxes of gifts and even flowers fell down at his feet.

"What the–"

"I can't believe that you have at least twice more than usual! It's so unfair!" Makki exclaimed.

"Why? I have a girlfriend." He mumbled, bending down to retrieve everything.

"Do you _really_ think it's going to be enough to scare them away? If anything, all the cute and innocent girls who didn't dare confess to you now know they have a chance, and there are all the ones who think you deserve better than Kiku." Matsukawa answered.

Iwaizumi looked up, glaring at him for everything he had just said but he just shrugged.

"What? It's true? It's what everyone thinks. Even if they calmed down about you dating Kiku, it doesn't mean they swallowed the news well."

"Here, take that," Oikawa said, giving him an empty plastic bag he had taken knowing it'd happen.

Iwaizumi didn't even ask him any question and put everything in the bag to check later – even if he wasn't interested in any other girl, he couldn't dismiss their confessions and gifts so easily. It'd be rude to them and their feelings. He wasn't surprised to find more on his desk and it was at lunch, that the four gathered and checked everything he had received. Lots of cookies and little chocolate, or flowers, or little volleyball or Godzilla charms. Many letters were just some polite _"happy birthday"_ but some were entire letters of confession.

"Oh, listen to this one: _'I have enough experience to assure you I could satisfy you much more than your current girlfriend! I learned from experienced men and don't doubt I would make you happy.'_ " Hanamaki read while Iwaizumi was reading another.

"What's so special about this one?" He asked without looking up from what he was reading.

"She's telling you she'd satisfy you more – _sexually_ , obviously! Not like you have _any_ sexual satisfaction with Kiku anyway so _anyone_ would satisfy you more…"

Iwaizumi gave him a long, hard look.

"Makki, they've been dating for only four days, give them a few more before talking about sexual activities. You're going to embarrass Iwa-chan~!"

"Right, the only virgin left among us."

"Can you– it has _nothing_ to do with any of you so leave my sexual life out of this! And don't you _dare_ go bother Kiku with that!" He exclaimed, grabbing the letter from Hanamaki's hands, "I am very satisfied as it is!"

"Pfff…"

"Why are you laughing?"

"You can't possibly consider _'masturbating while thinking about my girlfriend'_ as _satisfying_."

"Don't be so rude, he still upgraded to the next level. That's progress." Matsukawa said, making Hanamaki laugh even more.

"Will you shut up, all of you?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, cursing the blush on his cheeks.

"I'm sure _Kiku_ will be the one to make the first move – like your first kiss, if it weren't for her grabbing your tie and shutting you up with a kiss, you'd still be going on and on with your stammering." Hanamaki continued.

Iwaizumi growled, covering his face with his hands while they continued teasing him. Until a girl from another classroom approached him with a blush on her cheeks.

"U-um, Iwaizumi-san… could I talk to you, please?"

He looked up and held back a sigh, knowing damn well what would happen. Every year it was the same – Valentine's day and his birthday were the two worst days of the year. Politely, he stood up to follow her as the three others leaned towards each other.

"It's _starting_ , the birthday confessions. What was the best one last year?"

"The one who started stripping off her clothes – he just walked away without even looking, this fool."

"She sure was a wild one!"

Without surprise, the girl _did_ confess to Iwaizumi behind a tree.

"I… I really like you, Iwaizumi-san!" She exclaimed, cheeks red.

He was reassured she didn't try anything crazy – maybe it was one of the timid ones who didn't dare confess before.

"Thanks but… I already have a girlfriend, so…" He answered, glancing away.

It was a nice change from _"I'm not interested"_ – especially with the picture of Kiku's pretty face in his mind. He couldn't wait to see her again – perhaps he'd go see her tonight after practice to make sure she was all right.

"…Why?"

"Eh?" He asked, blinking because he was too busy daydreaming to remember he had been in the middle of receiving a confession.

"Why did you choose _this_ girl…? After all these years where you never wanted a girlfriend a-and why _her?_ What does she have _I_ don't?" She asked, tears in her eyes as she looked up at him, "I don't understand! No one does! Akiyama has nothing special, you must pity her but to go as far as keep her as your girlfriend! Why?"

Iwaizumi glanced around in embarrassment, holding back his annoyance because he knew she was hurt. And trying to explain it as calmly as possibly, he spoke up:

"I'm in love with her and that's how it is. Your cries and your questions won't change it. She is everything I've always wanted." He answered with a little shrug.

The girl stared at him, stunned by his honest answer. He didn't seem to lie or pretend anything – he _really_ was in love with this girl and it wasn't the flush on his cheeks revealing it. It was the way his eyes shone when he talked about Akiyama.

"I-I see…" She murmured, looking down.

He kept his lips thin, feeling a little bad for her, but then, not having anything else to add, he turned around and went back in his classroom, hands in his pockets. In the end, even if he wanted Kiku taking the time she needed to herself, he really wanted her by his side today… He missed her.

 _A few hours later…_

"So, what are you doing today, for your birthday?" Hanamaki asked Iwaizumi when they were stretching.

"We said we'd invite you to ramen, our treat for birthday boy!" Matsukawa said.

"Not today guys, I… I'm going to see how Kiku is doing. But thanks anyway." Iwaizumi answered, stretching his other leg.

His friends glanced at each other then back at him, smiling:

"It's all right, you want to go see your girlfriend, it's normal!"

"I'd choose my girlfriend over any of you a thousand times over, especially on my birthday!" Mattsun exclaimed.

"How could you do that to us, man?" Makki whined.

Iwaizumi chuckled to himself then, done with stretching, he stood up, warning Oikawa he was _exceptionally_ leaving the changing-room's key in his bag. He took a quick shower, changed then left insanely early compared to usual. He had barely made a few steps outside the high-school gates that his phone buzzed.

 **Can I see you?**

He stopped in his steps, rereading the message sent by Kiku to make sure she was asking what he thought she did. He immediately answered and they agreed to meet to a nearby park to have some tranquility. His steps were fast, impatient to see her but worry in his heart – he hoped she was doing okay. That despite this day being an awful reminder to her, she would show him her beautiful smile.

When he arrived in the park, he turned around a few times before noticing the figure of Kiku, sitting on a bench, in the shadow of a few trees – away from prying eyes.

"Kiku!" He called, running to her.

She looked up just as he arrived – and she smiled. It was a true smile that reached her eyes and made them sparkling. Hajime's heart missed a beat and he felt all warm and giggly.

"Happy birthday, Hajime," she said, standing up to greet him.

Of all the _"Happy birthday"_ he had received today – no, of all the _"Happy birthday"_ he had received in his entire life – it was his favorite. He was grinning and flushing and his heart wouldn't stay quiet.

"T-thank you… I-I was about to go see you when I received your message. I'm… I'm very happy to see you…"

She smiled, lowering her gaze a little shyly and he continued, his smile wavering a little.

"And… I'm glad to see you smiling…"

She was a little pale, but she was still smiling and it was all that mattered to him. Her smile, her happiness… She glanced up hesitantly at him, then she reached out and took his hands in hers.

"I'm sorry I missed your birthday… I… usually, I can handle it but last night… I had lots of nightmares… reminding me of _that_ night. I know you're probably thinking it's because of the date but with everything that happened lately – meeting your father which triggered it all, telling you the whole story, i-it was a little difficult to handle this time…" She explained sheepishly, ashamed she had missed the first birthday with her boyfriend because of her trauma.

He squeezed her hands, making her look up.

"Hey… It's okay… I'm just glad you'll be fine… that you're fine. Even if… I missed you a little…" He admitted, flushing.

She smiled then stepped closer, until they were almost touching but without breaking the space between them.

"Then… how about next year… we'll do anything you want for your birthday, I'll be here, promise?"

"Next year…" He murmured.

She immediately startled and blushed:

"I-I mean! I-if y-you want to! Unless y-you don't want to spend that much time with me, I'd understand and–"

"No, I… I want that. Let's promise that next year, we'll spend my birthday _together_ , just the two of us and no one else." He said.

Slowly, Kiku calmed down then lifted up her hand, showing her pinky finger. Amused, he raised an eyebrow, unable to hold back his smile:

"Really? A pinky promise?"

She made a little, innocent shrug as if saying _"why not?"_. Finding her too adorable to resist, he lifted up his own hand, hooking his pinky against hers.

"Pinky promise that we'll spend your next birthday just the two of us," she said.

"Pinky promise," he echoed.

They made a little shake of their hands to seal the promise but before he had time to move away, Kiku used the hold of her pinky against his to pull him down to her. Her lips found his, immediately kissing her back clumsily before they chuckled and were forced to pull away by their smiles.

"Are you always going to do that? Surprise me with kisses?" He asked teasingly.

"You never kiss me if I don't take action," she answered, pouting a little.

"Because I like taking the time to enjoy every sensation." He answered.

She flushed and before she could answer anything, he cupped her cheeks, her hands going against his chest to keep her balance. His hands were huge and his fingers could get entangled with her soft hair. He tilted her head back but instead of kissing her lips, he tenderly kissed her cheek, then her nose, and her other cheek, making her laugh. Noses brushing against one another, he looked into her eyes. Green met blue, both feeling at peace as they gazed into one another's souls… His lips brushed hers, almost shyly and the moment she took a little intake of breath, overwhelmed by his warm lips brushing hers, he leaned down to kiss her. It was tender at first but Hajime didn't wait to tilt his head on a side, using his tongue to open her mouth and deepening their kiss. They kissed slowly but deeply for a long moment, their hearts beating strongly and their blood pulsing hotly. When they pulled away, out of breathe, Kiku had to hold onto his arms to not fall backwards.

"W-wow…" She breathed, cheeks a bright red.

"Agreed…" He chuckled.

She leaned against him and without any awkwardness, he surrounded her body with his arms, his nose brushing the top of her hair, smelling the scent of her shampoo – lemon. He liked that and he closed his eyes, taking in the warmth he felt just to hold her in his arms. Hajime opened his lips, tempted to express his feelings for her but he was worried it might break the peaceful atmosphere, the silence surrounding them was comforting. And it still felt surreal to suddenly say out of nowhere _"I'm in love with you"_ – even if they were all alone, it didn't seem intimate enough for such a thing. He kissed the top of her head then closed his eyes again, not wanting to ever let her go.

 _The following day…_

Hajime checked himself in the mirror for the tenth time since he had woken up. He smelled good, he had put on clothes that made him look good without trying too much and they didn't have any wrinkles. He had even arranged his hair so it'd be in less disarray than usual – but his spiky hair was forever untamed, it was the Iwaizumi family's curse.

Satisfied with his appearance, he reappeared in his bedroom, glancing everywhere and making sure everything was clean and in order. He had changed his bed's sheets and cover, there wasn't a single dust around and it smelled fresh. Now satisfied with the overall state of his bedroom, he turned around and quickly went into the living-room that he had cleaned as well, just as the door opened.

"Can't you ring or knock?" Iwaizumi grumbled as Oikawa arrived, carrying a packet and several bags – one for his clothes for the night, a big one for the two futons he was furnishing for the night and another for the food and various games or activities he was bringing.

"I always enter like I own the place! Don't scold me today!" He exclaimed before staring at his friend, "What happened to you? You look clean, you're well dressed and…"

He leaned forward, sniffing the air and catching an unusual scent even if Iwaizumi had leaned away with his nose scrunched up by his behavior.

"And you even smell good!" Oikawa exclaimed with wide, shocked eyes.

"You make it sound like I never clean myself. I don't see how it's surprising." He answered, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

"It wouldn't be surprising if there was a _good_ reason for you to dress well! You never make such efforts for your birthday parties! You usually just throw on the first clothes you can find!"

"Now it sounds like I'm a lazy antisocial."

Oikawa made a thoughtful tilt of his head, considering the possibility.

"He made himself handsome because Kiku comes visit for the first time~!" Umeko said, appearing from the kitchen to greet Oikawa.

Hajime immediately flushed in embarrassment, Tooru's lips trembling to hold back a laugh.

"You _do_ know that Kiku-chan likes you in your natural state, you don't have to go to such length to please her."

"I know but it's not because I don't often dress well that I never do it either! Is it too much?" He asked, suddenly worried.

Oikawa watched him from head to toe, a thoughtful pout on his face, fingers under his chin.

"Well…" He started, sounding disheartened.

"I should change? Is that it? It's the shirt? Too much? What should I wear to see Kiku?" He asked, glancing down at himself.

"Firstly, you should take off your clothes and remain only in your boxers." Oikawa started – Iwaizumi was actually about to turn around and execute it when it occurred to him that it was _not_ the sort of advice he was looking for, "Then, roll in mud and leaves so you can appear in your usual, wild beast's state. And make a hundred – no, let's make it two hundreds push-ups so that you can sweat, this way, the pheromones will invade the space around you."

Oikawa nodded satisfied at the mental image, ignoring Iwaizumi's unamused glare.

"With that, she's going to jump on you~!" He concluded with a wink.

"I hate you."

"I think you meant 'I _thank_ you' – and you're welcome~!"

"Don't listen to him, Hajime, you're very handsome." Umeko said, pulling at his cheek teasingly.

"M-mom! D-don't do that, please…!"

"Nonsense, I'm your mother. I get to embarrass you in front of your friends as much as I want."

He sighed as Oikawa laughed at that. Then, both Iwaizumi and Oikawa helped her out finish preparing the huge amount of food for the group of boys who would arrive soon. As soon as it rang, Hajime looked up, turning around to go open but Oikawa beat him to it:

"I'll open!"

He ran, the Ace grumbling as he turned to finish helping his mother.

"Your father and I leave you the apartment so you can have fun with your friends, and we'll get to have a week-end for us as well. You remember the rules?"

"Nothing loud past midnight to not bother the neighbors. No breaking. No ordering food, everything is ready. Everything is cleaned by the time you're back. No breaking." He said obediently.

"And no alcohol if you can avoid it – I don't want you getting drunk when you are still minors."

"Come on, mom, we're not going to drink alcohol!" He exclaimed with an easy smile just as the door opened in the entry.

"Waaah! Iwa-chan! Mattsun brought lots of beer!" Oikawa exclaimed from the entrance.

There was a moment of heavy silence, Hajime not daring to meet his mother's amused eyes.

"…I'll make sure they don't break anything this year…" He mumbled.

"Good boy," she said, patting his cheek, "Now go meet your friends and enjoy your birthday party – you deserve it. As promised you'll receive your dad and I's birthday gift when we're back."

Little by little, Hajime's friends, his teammates, all arrived but the one he expected most wasn't here yet. When it rang, he hurried and opened the door.

"Kiku!" He exclaimed, heart leaping happily when he saw her.

She looked up at him quickly, accompanied by Hanamaki who was carrying a big box.

"We've got the cakes," he said, hearing several cheers at that.

"Come in," Hajime told Kiku, relieving her of the smaller boxes she was carrying.

She took off her shoes, following him closely, Hajime almost closing the door on Hanamaki who managed to avoid it without crushing the cake.

"Thanks! I can see that you missed me!" He exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

"Kiku! It's a pleasure _finally_ meeting you!" Umeko exclaimed when she saw her.

"E-enchanted to m-meet you, I-Iwaizumi-san…" She said, a little shyly, bowing politely before giving her a box, "F-for you a-and your husband… These come from my family bakery's macarons, I-I hope they will be to your t-taste…"

Umeko took the box but looked the shy girl up and down and decided that she was the incarnation of the word 'adorable'. She turned towards her son with a huge, proud smile, glad he had gotten the right girl.

"Thank you, Kiku, it's so kind of you! I'm so happy Hajime _finally_ brought a girl – it took him a _very_ long time but he did well waiting _that_ long. At least he got himself a real pearl. You are adorable. I heard so much about you–"

" _Mom!"_ Hajime exclaimed, flushing in embarrassment, "Let's just… get to know each other later, okay?"

His teammates all laughed and snickered at his embarrassment as he took Kiku's jacket from her, and caught Hanamaki's as well.

"Come, Kiku-chan! I'll make you visit!" Oikawa exclaimed, taking her hand and putting it under his arm to guide her.

"W-wait!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, not wanting his friend doing the visit, Kiku sending him a half-amused, half-embarrassed glance over her shoulder.

Of course, Oikawa _didn't_ listen. Iwaizumi quickly gave all the jackets and bags to Matsukawa and Hanamaki then ran after Oikawa.

"That was the kitchen on your right, here in the hall there's the toilets on the left and over there, the room in which Iwa-chan was conceived by his parents–"

"Oikawa!"

"-Then here is the only interesting room for _you_ : Iwa-chan's bedroom!" Oikawa announced, already pushing open the door.

He forced Kiku inside just as Iwaizumi appeared, glaring at him. Oikawa made an innocent face while Kiku glanced around curiously.

"You cleaned your room, didn't you? It's cute." Oikawa commented loudly, "You took away most of your Godzilla goodies and posters! You don't want to appear as a fanboy, is that it? And it doesn't usually smell _this_ good when it's just us, you–"

Oikawa's voice turned into a whine when Iwaizumi's fingers grabbed his face to keep him from saying anything else embarrassing, his green eyes furiously aflame. The setter felt his lifespan shorten but it was worth it.

Kiku didn't react to any of this, glancing around – it was clean and organized, just as she had imagined it'd be. She turned around, opening her lips just as the rest of the team appeared.

"Wah! It's all clean!"

"It's sparkling!"

"Where is the giant poster of the last Godzilla movie? It's such a cool poster!"

Oikawa made an attempt of an amused smile – turned into a strange expression considering his jaw was currently being crushed by the Ace's fingers. Iwaizumi's shoulders dropped and he closed his eyes as everyone filled the room, quickly making it feel too crowded. He let go of Oikawa then escaped to help his mother who still needed to finish cooking for all of them.

Kiku glanced around at all the boys settling down around the bedroom, used to it, then, when she realized they were all too busy making fun of their Ace for being so sweet to her, she discreetly escaped the bedroom and advanced hesitantly towards the kitchen where mother and son were busy.

"He's so embarrassing… you're _all_ so embarrassing…" He mumbled, not realizing Kiku was here.

"You know how Tooru is, it was to be expected. It's not like they're doing it to hurt you – they're just having fun."

"I know but I'm not!"

"You're saying that but you'll relax soon!"

"Kiku!" He exclaimed when he turned around and noticed her here.

"S-sorry f-for e-eavesdropping… I-is there anything… I can h-help with…?" She asked politely, glancing at Umeko but then at Hajime, not bearing to look too long at someone she barely knew.

"Uum…"

Umeko glanced between the two with an amused smile. Poor Hajime, his girlfriend came for the first time and they were overwhelmed by boys who made fun of them.

"Ah… I don't have enough eggs anymore. I was sure I had the right count… Why don't you both go for some groceries? The grocery store isn't far. You'll have some time together this way." She said with a knowing smile.

Both blushed but Kiku nodded. Umeko gave a quick list to her son then they put on their shoes and escaped the loud environment. Oikawa leaned away from his friend's bedroom, chuckling when he saw the couple running away from them.

"Did it work?" Hanamaki asked him.

"Yes, they're on their own~!" He answered.

"Who would have thought that Umeko-san could be won over with beer?" Mattsun mused, grinning.

The grocery store really was close – less than three minutes from the apartment complex where the Iwaizumi (and Oikawa) lived. There was a park just in front and Kiku couldn't help but glance at the playground and imagine the two boys playing there as children. Hajime glanced at her quickly, then decided to break the silence:

"I'm sorry– for everything awkward and embarrassing that happened… My mother is very excited to meet you, and Oikawa is even more impossible than usual… My room is usually clean, I swear! It's just…"

His voice trailed off and he stopped when he heard Kiku's amused chuckle – he glanced her way and was stricken by how cute she was. He almost fell over, blushing and feeling his heart suddenly speeding up. She glanced up at him, eyes sparkling beautifully:

"It's all right, don't worry about your room. It looked very clean and it was nice."

"T-thanks…"

"But… I'd love to see it again with the giant Godzilla poster…" She said, hands joined in her back as she turned around to face him as they walked.

"I'll put it back on when we're back, then," he said with a grin.

She nodded vividly and he jumped forward to be at her side, his hand finding hers so they could walk side by side, their hands swinging happily. All of Hajime's embarrassment provoked by his friends and mother was nothing compared to the teasing grin the old man at the grocery store made when he saw the couple – he knew the old man since he was a little boy. He had never been so awkward in his life, which almost endangered the eggs. When they went back towards the apartment, they went as slowly as possible and he glanced her way. She was wearing a nice dress, white with flowers. It had a very nice cleavage too and he quickly looked away to not stare. She had a little braid in her hair and he wanted so badly to play with it, he felt like a kitten.

"Y-you look very pretty…" He said, looking away in embarrassment.

Kiku glanced up at him, flushed then grinned happily, squeezing his hand and staring at him. He was wearing casual jeans and a light blue shirt. The top buttons left open, sleeves pushed to his elbows and just tight enough to reveal his muscular chest and arms. Feeling distracted, she quickly looked away, blushing.

"Y-you… look v-very handsome too…" She said in a hushed voice.

Hajime smiled happily, glad that he had chosen his clothes right – despite what Oikawa had said. They came back, the team in the living-room and deciding on the order of board games they'll do – and what movies watch or video games to play. Hajime and Kiku quietly went to the kitchen, unnoticed by their friends.

"I thought you didn't have any more eggs?" Hajime said when he entered and saw his mother with an open box of eggs.

"They were in the very back and I hadn't seen them, my bad." Umeko answered innocently but he knew better – and was grateful to the few minutes of tranquility he had had with Kiku, "I'm almost done, you should join your friends."

He put down the eggs he had bought on the counter, nodding then turning towards his girlfriend.

"Let's go in my room, then."

"Lock the door if you don't want to be interrupted!" Umeko advised.

Her son glared at her for the suggestion, Kiku glancing between the two curiously then he pushed her to go in his bedroom. Now empty and quiet. He didn't close the door, though, not wanting anyone to imagine anything. He also made sure the key wasn't on the door so they wouldn't be locked in – he had to think of so many evil possibilities, it was exhausting. He pulled his big poster that had been rolled and tucked on a side then showed it on his bed – it was almost as big as the bed itself.

"It's a cinema poster! It's gigantic! It looks so cool!" Kiku exclaimed.

"I went to the premiere with Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa. I kept saying how cool the poster was and then, all three put money together to buy it from the movie theater and offered it to me!" He explained, proud and happy to have such friends.

"It's so nice of them!"

"It's very heavy so I can't put it on the wall now or it'll take me forever, but next time you're coming it'll be on the wall." He said, rolling it carefully once again.

She smiled then, once he was done, they awkwardly stood in his bedroom. Alone. After a while, he made a gesture towards his bed with tight lips, Kiku staring at him until he understood how awkward it just have seemed:

"Oh my goodness, _no!_ I didn't mean! I meant! Sit! O-or the chair, if you prefer! Wherever you prefer!" He exclaimed, flushing.

He reached for his desk chair and pulled it forward, almost making it fall over from how quickly he had acted. Kiku politely smiled to him then sat on the edge of his bed. He stood there a moment before sitting down on the chair, in front of her and avoiding looking her way.

"…Are you always this nervous when you receive visitors?" She asked in a little voice, smiling softly.

"N-no, I… I don't usually get this nervous. I don't know why I'm so awkward. Must be because it's the first time… the visitor is a girl… m-my girlfriend…" He mumbled, flushing.

She smiled, looking amused. She held out her hand and he took it, both immediately feeling reassured. He pushed on his chair to roll towards her and she looked up. Taking the opportunity of being relatively left alone for the moment, he leaned down to kiss her lips. She answered to it tenderly, both smiling in their kiss.

"The _almost_ -kisser upgraded to an _actual_ kisser."

Both startled and jumped away from each other, Hajime standing up when he saw his father leaning casually against the doorway.

"D-dad!" He exclaimed, blushing to have been caught.

Takashi smirked teasingly as Kiku stood up, a little more calm than her boyfriend. She joined her hands in front of her and bowed down politely, but she didn't meet his gaze.

"E-Enchanted to meet you, I-Iwaizumi-san…" She breathed awkwardly.

"It's not the first time we see each other, Kiku, right?" He said in a calm voice, making her glance up warily, "But I'm glad meeting you again, and in more joyful circumstances than the previous times."

He paused, glancing very quickly at his son who was staring at him with thin lips, then he looked back at Kiku.

"You're not covered in blood, or in a hospital room. And I'm not wearing my uniform for once." He said, making her look away.

"Dad…" Hajime started with big eyes.

"And I see that you've grown into a beautiful young woman."

Kiku glanced back at him as Takashi pushed himself from the wall and showed his hand to her:

"I heard a lot about you, the _grown-up_ you. And I promised Hajime I'd meet you without any prejudice against you. So nice meeting you, grown-up Kiku." He said.

Kiku hesitated for a moment, her eyes shining as memories flooded back but she fought against them. Then, slowly she approached her hand to shake his. Takashi smiled gently and she forced one as well. He glanced back at their hands and tilted her hand on the side. Hajime immediately grabbed his father's wrist and pushed him away, his other arm surrounding Kiku's shoulders.

"Oi! Don't do that!"

"I was just making sure–"

"That she didn't have any scars? They're not _here!_ You're acting exactly contrary to what I asked of you!"

Takashi sighed but Kiku intervened, speaking up in a tiny voice:

"I-it's all right… he… knows where my scars are."

Hajime glanced down at her as she looked up straight at Takashi:

"He… he was the first one to try to clean the wounds, after all." She said in a hard voice.

She kept staring at Takashi who didn't falter, then, she surprised him by bowing down in front of him:

"I never thanked you for everything you did for me – saving my life from Himura, helping me out and watching over me for months despite my uncooperative behavior. Thank you, Iwaizumi-san, I am forever grateful to you for what you've done for me."

Takashi stared at her, lips falling open… Hajime had told him she was different, and for now she hadn't showed much of what Hajime kept talking about but… she was definitely different from the closed off, traumatized child he had found years ago.

"I was just doing my job." He said, as she looked up hesitantly, "…It's nice finally hearing your voice, Kiku." He added with a little smile.

He patted her shoulder then turned around to leave the two teenagers alone.

"Have fun today, both of you."

The moment he walked out, Hajime turned towards Kiku.

"I'm so sorr–"

"It's all right, it's nothing to worry about. Considering what he… saw of me, I'm surprised he's being so nice." She said with a smile, but she definitely looked reassured Iwaizumi Takashi wasn't here anymore.

"He… doesn't like us being… together…" Hajime admitted in a low voice, lowering his gaze.

"…It's not a surprise. I wouldn't want my son with someone like me either. I wouldn't want me to be with _anyone_ , really…" She whispered sadly.

"Kiku…"

"I-I don't mean that you're _'anyone'!_ On the contrary b-but… y-you _do_ know you deserve better, Hajime… right…?" She continued, looking up at him.

He sighed deeply then cupped her cheeks, looking straight into her eyes:

"And I don't _care_. _You're_ the one I fell in love with. _You're_ the one for me. Anyone else's opinion about you, or _us_ , doesn't matter. What matters is that we're happy with what we have – and I've never been happier in my life than these last four days…"

Slowly, a smile appeared on her face, tears of joy making her eyes shine like sapphires. Rather than tears it was love and happiness that made her eyes so beautiful and Hajime couldn't help but smile back.

"Me too… it's the happiest I've ever felt…" She murmured.

He leaned down to kiss her when Hanamaki suddenly appeared at the doorway:

"Oi! Iwaizumi! You're coming or not? It's for _your_ birthday we came! Oh. Sorry, you were making out." He said when he noticed the two had been about to kiss.

"W-we weren't–"

"And you pulled out your Godzilla poster? Did you show your _other_ Godzilla~?" He teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Kiku blushed and looked away while Hajime gasped, face red.

" _You!_ You are such _a!"_

"I leave you to your make-out session, then!" He exclaimed, closing the door.

"Wait! No!"

Hajime opened the door again and ran after Hanamaki. Left alone, Kiku let out a heavy sigh, then tried to calm down her heart and the hotness of her cheeks. The day would be more tiring than she had expected.

When she joined the group of boys, they had convinced Hajime to sit down to play a video game – something about a revenge Hanamaki wanted. They'd take turns all playing but for now, the birthday boy had the privilege of starting first. Kiku glanced towards the kitchen, Hajime's mother finishing to clean the working place.

"M-may I h-help you…?" Kiku asked hesitantly.

"Oh, Kiku. It's fine, I'm done now." Umeko answered with a smile, turning around and observing her closely, "I… know what happened to you. My husband told me, and even if Hajime never really shared everything that had happened between the two of you… I know he knows."

"…It was important telling him the truth a-and… it doesn't matter anyway… now… everyone knows…" She murmured, thinking back on the truth spread at her high-school.

"I can't possibly understand what you went through, but if you ever need anything from Takashi, or I… you can ask us, Kiku. Even if you and Hajime don't last, you'll always be welcome here." She told him with a motherly gaze.

Kiku glanced up at her thankfully, infinitely grateful for the Iwaizumi family being so kind to her.

"Thank you…" She murmured, "I-I mean… n-not just that but… everything your husband did for me years ago… a-and for…"

She took a shaky breath in and looked up, smiling brightly, eyes sparkling in love:

"A-and for giving birth to Hajime. H-he's such… such an amazing person, so kind and open-minded, I admire him so much, he inspires me so much a-and I can't tell how much I… I'm in love with him. H-he saved me in ways you couldn't understand a-and I'm forever grateful that he is part of my life, that he _exists_ , that he is _who_ he is a-and it's thanks to you… his parents…" Kiku murmured, blushing in embarrassment to say so many words of admiration to her boyfriend's mother.

Umeko stared at her, realizing how pure this girl was – Hajime had repeated it, times and times again, and she had obviously thought that he was exaggerating because he was head-over-heels for her… But it wasn't the case. He was _truly_ admiring her for her kindness and bright soul.

"You're a very kind and generous person, Kiku… and I must thank you too for what you did for Hajime." She said, the high-schooler glancing up at her in confusion, "Being mature is in his nature, he's always acted more grown-up than he should. And I know he _can_ have fun, and thanks to his friends, he's not unhappy… but since the beginning of this school year, I had never seen my son so happy. And it's thanks to you."

Kiku wasn't sure she understood exactly what Umeko was referring to, she couldn't imagine herself bringing enough happiness in Hajime's life for his mother to notice a change, but if it was the case… she was glad.

"Come, there is something I must show you," Umeko said suddenly, exiting the kitchen.

Kiku followed her curiously, glancing quickly at the boys who were cheering for what they were doing. None seemed to notice the two of them coming by so she hurried after Umeko who stopped in her bedroom before taking Kiku in her son's so they wouldn't be interrupted. She was carrying many photos albums and both sat on the edge of the bed.

"He told me not to show you these, but there was no way I could resist."

"There's no way I could resist either at seeing his baby pictures!" Kiku exclaimed enthusiastically.

Umeko gladly opened the first album photo, showing the baby pictures of Hajime when he was born – eighteen years ago.

"He's so cute! He's adorable! He looks so precious!" Kiku exclaimed in awe, tears in her eyes, "His hair was already all spiked up!"

"He always had his father's hair – it's an Iwaizumi trait. Look!"

Umeko pulled another family album pictures closer, showing several photographs – there was Hajime, from a few years ago, with his father, the resemblance stunning. And more picture from the previous generations, the colors slowly turning sepia then in black and white, the photographs more or less damaged. Hajime looked less like the previous generations than to his father, but there was one common trait that couldn't be denied: spiky hair. Some, for other hairstyles, had longer hair, which made them look like weird hedgehogs.

"I'm sure Hajime's children will have spiked up hair as well," Umeko said teasingly, glancing at Kiku.

She blushed but didn't stop smiling, continuing to look at all the baby pictures, little Hajime slowly growing up. He was such a happy and smiling child – and then, there were lots of pictures with a little Oikawa. Tooru didn't change much – he only grew up in height and got some muscles but he was still the same child in a bigger body. Hajime, little by little showed more maturity – he was still smiling in the pictures but he had grown. She saw pictures of their first tries of volleyball, their first teams, middle-school…

"Oh, are these Kindaichi and Kunimi? And is that…" She continued, recognizing Kageyama with the younger boys on a few team pictures from Kitagawa Daiichi, "They were all so tiny and adorable~!"

"Hard to believe that they grew up so much! Hajime is so jealous of their height…"

Kiku chuckled, continuing to explore the pictures just as someone arrived at the door:

"I was looking for… _mom_ , you did _not_." Hajime said, seeing all the pictures albums and knowing Kiku had seen his entire life in pictures.

"She asked to see them," Umeko said, Kiku glancing up at her at the lie but not denying it.

"If that's the case, then…" He mumbled, unable to hold a grudge against Kiku.

Glad that her trick had worked, Umeko smiled innocently.

"You were a very cute baby and child… you still are when you smile." Kiku said with an adorable smile, making him blush.

"R-really?"

"You should bring some pictures of you as a baby the next time you'll come over, Kiku," Umeko said suddenly.

Kiku's lips fell open but before she could say a thing, Hajime spoke up, making wide eyes at his mother:

"Mom!"

"Oh, right… you might… not have baby pictures considering your situation… I'm sorry, I had forgotten…"

"I-I do have pictures… not as many as all these picture albums but… the adoption system took pictures of me every year – for my growth and as references for the system." She explained with a smile.

Hajime looked down, Umeko surrounding her arm around Kiku for comfort, the girl now confused at their reaction. File pictures, for medical records and for family who would choose whether or not they'd want of this child… she didn't understand that it didn't feel right for a family.

"Umeko– there you are." Takashi said, suddenly appearing, "We should leave soon if you want to see your parents on the way. I don't want to arrive too late."

"Right, we should go."

After some last advices to the group of teenagers and especially their son and Kiku (the only responsible ones) who both promised to keep an eye on what would happen, Takashi and Umeko left.

"Where are they going exactly?" Kiku asked curiously.

"They're spending the weekend together, so we can have fun on our own… and I think they're happy to spend some time like they used to, before I got in the way." Hajime explained with a smile, "They're going to some hot spring."

"They might make a new Iwababy~!" Oikawa said, sitting on the edge of the couch.

Hajime rolled his eyes at that, and Kiku was tempted to ask him more, but there were too many people around and it was embarrassing.

"I'm going to bring some food and drinks from the kitchen," Hajime decided.

"I'll help you out, Iwaizumi-san!" Kindaichi exclaimed, joined by Yahaba and Kunimi.

Kiku saw him leave, followed by his kouhais, and Oikawa kept staring at her teasingly, a gleaming light in his eyes.

"Three."

"Y-yes?" She hesitated, turning to him.

"Iwa-chan wants three babies," he said, making her blush.

"I-I w-wasn't…!"

"He's too embarrassed to talk about it, though. He used to want a sibling, when we were children but he grew over it over time – I believe it's because I filled the void that the absence of sibling had created!" He said, half joking.

"T-true… y-you're like brothers… I saw the pictures when you were children, you've always been very close." She said with a smile, glad Hajime had had Oikawa in his life.

"Eh? You saw our children pictures, really?! Wasn't I adorable~?" He continued with a wink.

"You still are, you didn't change at all," she answered making him laugh.

"By the way, Kiku-chan, where is your bag?" Oikawa continued, glancing around.

She pointed at her hand bag resting on a chair.

"No, I mean, for tonight," he said.

"Tonight?"

"You don't know?" He asked, eyes widening.

"Oops, forgot to tell you," Hanamaki, who had been half-listening while playing against Matsukawa and Watari, "But you're staying the night with us. Oikawa, Matsukawa and I always stay the night for our birthdays, you'll be here too."

"W-what?! Why didn't you tell me?! What about my parents, they'll–"

"They already know about it and I promised not to let you alone with Iwaizumi so your virtue can remain safe."

She blushed, not only at his suggestion, but the idea she'd spend the night at _Hajime's place…!_ She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head:

" _No!_ I can't! How could you not tell me…?!"

"Forgot."

"You did it on purpose!"

"Don't worry, Kiku-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed with a reassuring smile, "We'll find you some clothes and it's not the first time we're spending a night with a girl – Makki and Mattsun's sisters sometimes sleep over as well! You're safe and sound with us~!"

"That's not the problem here…!" She exclaimed.

A few minutes later, ignoring Makki's teasing and Oikawa trying to convince her, she went to call her parents and _indeed_ , they knew all about it and had even agreed. She didn't want to imagine the length Hanamaki had gone to convince them!

"So, you're staying? Don't worry, it'll be fun!" Oikawa exclaimed with a smile.

"We'll do movie marathons, it'll be great," Mattsun added casually.

"I-I don't have a choice, do I…?" She mumbled.

"Nope," all three answered.

"You have something in mind, don't you…?"

"Maybe~" Oikawa hummed.

She glared at them half-heartedly, too embarrassed to really realize the consequences that might occur. She trusted Hajime, and for better or worse, she trusted _all_ of these dorks. But the idea of spending the night under the same roof as them – _as Hajime!_ – caused a constant blush on her cheeks. She even started feeling dizzy and feverish, sitting down next to Makki who kept grinning at her teasingly.

Hajime came back, with the kouhais, they all put down drinks and various food for everyone's tastes. The boys immediately dived, and continued to take turns playing the video games, mostly Mario kart considering everyone knew it and enjoyed it. Hajime was currently challenging Oikawa, Matsukawa playing as well, a little more quietly. Noticing that Kiku was watching without intervening, shyly keeping to herself.

"You play?" Mattsun asked suddenly, his gaze unwavering from the screen to not lose.

"E-eh? M-me?" She asked, flushing, "I-I never… tried…"

"We gotta do something about it. Guys, calm down with your course," he told Iwaizumi and Oikawa who agreed absentmindedly, not calming down at all.

"I-it's fine, I don't–"

But Matsukawa didn't listen to her and waited for Oikawa to win and brag about it, Iwaizumi growling. As soon as they were done, he changed a few settings and grabbed Kiku's arm. She gasped, sitting on the edge of the couch, between his legs. He forced the controller between her hands, indicating what the touches were here for. He pressed a few buttons and a new course begun. She squeaked a few times, getting used to the play, Oikawa and Iwaizumi playing as well.

"It's too easy!" Oikawa exclaimed, considering the level of difficulty was lower, "And another win for the Captain~!"

"Not yet, _Captain_ ," Makki said, watching from the side, "And it's only normal to make it easier for Kiku."

"Come on, Akiyama-san! You can do it!" Kindaichi encouraged.

"Don't side with her, come on!" Oikawa whined.

Kiku was struggling a little, constantly glancing at what she was pressing then back at the screen, instinctively trying to follow the movement by lifting up her arms and leaning along with the controller. Without a word, Matsukawa grabbed her hands and forced her back in her initial position to make sure she wouldn't sprawl over everyone. He kept a hold on her arms, sometimes helping her out by pressing a few touches.

Iwaizumi glanced over to his side, frowning to himself and pouting. _He_ should have thought about including Kiku in their games but he had gotten over excited about the challenges and might have momentarily forgotten there was a girl in the same room as them. Loud, stupid teenagers as they were. He hated the idea that Matsukawa had thought of Kiku instead of being the one thinking of her, but was also a little grateful he had thought of her so she wouldn't get bored. But he hated even more that Matsukawa had forced Kiku to sit between his legs, touching so casually her hands and arms, his torso against her back. Neither seemed interested in the other, they didn't even seem to realize how close they were but it didn't stop Hajime from getting jealous.

Noticing his growing jealousy, and hearing his little growl against the controller, Hanamaki discreetly glanced at Matsukawa who caught his gaze. The wing spiker lifted up his thumbs up – the plan was working. Mattsun grinned, continuing to help Kiku who was so focused on the course.

"Throw him a shell," Mattsun told Kiku when he saw the right opportunity.

She had managed to go past Oikawa and Iwaizumi – by sheer luck they kept repeating when the others cheered fro their manager – but Oikawa received the shell. He screamed then his car hit Iwaizumi's and both started screaming as they fell off.

"NO, no, no, no!"

"You bastard! You hit me!"

"It's not MY fault! It's Kiku's!"

"You let your guard down, both of you, just admit it," Hanamaki said, amused.

Kiku won and screamed happily, lifting up her arms to the ceiling.

"Yaaaay~! We won!" Matsukawa said.

"Thank you, Mattsun! It's all thanks to you!" She exclaimed, twisting around to clap his hands and hug him quickly.

"It's always a pleasure to participate in Oikawa's loss." He answered, making the setter gasp in offense.

Iwaizumi kept staring – or rather, unconsciously glaring – at Matsukawa who didn't move away from Kiku even though the course was done. The middle blocker totally ignored him and Kiku didn't realize anything of what was going on.

" _Beginner's luck!_ Beginner's luck!" Oikawa exclaimed, "I want a revenge!"

"Sore loser," Makki commented.

"Bring it on!" Kiku exclaimed, getting into it.

"Don't get on your high horse, you won only _once_ with the easiest level. And with Matsukawa's help!" Hanamaki exclaimed, making her pout.

"I wanna play the next round, then we'll let you, second and first-years play. We've monopolized the game long enough," Matsukawa said, taking his controller back and swiftly pressing the buttons to get his favorite character back.

"Who will help me, then?" Kiku asked, looking at him.

"Iwaizumi," he answered casually.

She turned towards her boyfriend who lifted up his head, eyes wide. He had been about to quit – he was too annoyed by the turn of events but now he was just stunned.

"Uuuh…"

"You don't mind… do you…? J-just one more try!" Kiku asked, hands joined in a praying gesture.

"Of course, he doesn't mind!" Hanamaki answered for him.

Matsukawa casually grabbed Kiku's hips to force her up then tapped the side of her thigh to make her go to the right. She flushed a little, from his casual touch and mostly because she realized she would go to Hajime's side and sit the same way she had done with Matsukawa. She didn't care when it was him, but when it was Hajime, it was more embarrassing… She joined Hajime and he flushed, sitting up straighter to give her some room between his legs. He moved as far away against his couch as possible while she remained as far on the edge as possible, a good twenty centimeters separating them.

"Come on, you're not sick, get closer," Makki muttered while Hajime gave Kiku the controller, making sure not to touch her skin.

The Ace threw him a harsh look but he _did_ get closer when he had to reach for the controller to let Kiku choose her character. Just like Matsukawa earlier, he passed his arms under hers, reaching for the controller and looking from over her shoulder. He caught sight of her curvy breasts just as she glanced at him. He looked away, blushing and trying to ignore his friends' snickers. They had done it on purpose to embarrass him.

"There," he said, giving her back the controller and moving his hands away.

"W-wait, what do I press already? Don't leave!" She exclaimed as the numbers appeared on the screen to count the seconds before the start of the course.

"You're pressing on it already, I'm not leaving, calm down," he said, pointing at the screen.

She looked just as it started. Oikawa and Matsukawa quickly went off, experts on the topic compared to Kiku who was still struggling with the use and the buttons. Hajime was forcing his gaze to remain fixed on the screen.

"Wait – wrong button," he said suddenly when hell broke loose on the screen and she panicked.

He pushed the right fingers to the right buttons, both flushing at the touch – which didn't help them go back into the course.

"What do I do then?" She asked, starting to lean away like in the first course.

"Wait, don't– don't do that!" He said, trying to reach for her hands as she lifted them up.

She went back in a normal position, almost closing off and not letting him see the controller.

"You're a terrible video game teacher, Iwaizumi-san," Yahaba commented calmly, "You're good at giving advices on volleyball, though."

"Thanks for the commentary, guys!" He mumbled.

"Hajime! _Focus!_ What do I do?!" She exclaimed, elbowing him.

He growled loudly when she hit him a little too hard, it took him a moment to breathe again.

"Hajime!" She screamed.

"You almost killed him, let him breathe."

"What happened?! Oh my goodness! Are you hurt?! Did I–"

She whipped around just as he moved closer to help her out, her hand slapped his jaw accidentally, making both startle.

"I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, leaning to him and forgetting the game, turning around completely.

"It's fi– AAAH!"

She unconsciously forced him to open his legs wider and let her hand down (to not slap him again) but accidentally pressed on his crotch. She immediately pulled away but he was suffering.

"I-I'm so, so sorry!" She exclaimed.

"In coming!" Someone exclaimed.

"Shell, shell, shell!" He shouted when he saw the screen.

She pressed buttons in panic, not knowing what she was doing anymore while everyone screamed.

"Cover, cover!"

Kiku managed to somehow avoid all three shells coming her way, hands and controller high in the air.

"Damn it!" Oikawa cursed.

"Wow, that was a good move! You're good at that, y'know!" Hanamaki exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Hajime, I'm so sorry…!" She exclaimed, now focused again on the course.

"Don't mind me, focus! Don't let them win!" He exclaimed, watching from the side.

"Don't worry for him, he's holding onto his balls, you'll still be able to make lots of babies," Makki said teasingly.

" _Hanamaki!"_ They both exclaimed, blushing without sparing him a glance his way.

Hajime let go of his crotch he had been instinctively holding after the pain he had felt. He finally managed to help out Kiku better than at the beginning of the course – but she still lost against the two other players.

"YEAAH! My win! Yet again the great Oikawa Tooru shows his skills~!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, let's see how the _great_ Oikawa Tooru does against me. Yahaba, you're up too!" Hanamaki decided.

" _Yeees!"_

Matsukawa and Kiku let go of the controllers, letting the others have the couch, Iwaizumi following them – he moved around a little because of all the hits he had received in so little time.

"While they do their own courses, let's do something else," Mattsun proposed.

Hajime glanced at Kiku nodding excitedly, glad she was relaxing and having fun.

"Twister!" Matsukawa exclaimed.

"Twister– you're gonna play Twister?! Wait for me! I wanna play too!" Oikawa exclaimed, suddenly dropping the controller.

"Afraid to lose?" Makki teased.

"Never! But Twister is funnier! Especially with a girl!"

They all glanced at him, then at Kiku who blinked innocently, everyone suddenly looking very interested. Hajime jumped in front of her protectively, glaring at them:

"Don't _even_ think of it!"

"…What is Twister exactly?" Kiku asked curiously, looking at Mattsun.

"A very innocent game, very fun," he said with the most angelic face he could put up and giving her the game's box to show her.

"We usually play a strip-tease Twister but just this time, we'll do it following the rules for you, Kiku-chan~!" Oikawa exclaimed with a smile.

"You shouldn't–" Hajime started.

"It sounds fun!" She exclaimed, as she watched the pictures on the game's box.

Hajime hit his forehead, making the others chuckle.

"Then, we'll start with Mattsun, Iwa-chan, Kiku-chan and I~! Watacchi! You'll tell us what to do!" Oikawa exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

"If either of you does anything unacceptable, I'll punch you, got it?" Iwaizumi growled.

"What could go wrong? It's just a game of stability and balance, right?" Kiku said innocently as Matsukawa and Oikawa prepared everything.

Hajime didn't answer.

A few minutes later, blushing terribly, Kiku had an entire list of what _had_ gone wrong.

"I warned you…" Hajime mumbled, blushing just as much from the awkward position they were in.

"S-shut up…!" She hissed, lowering her head in shame.

She immediately looked back up, avoiding to keep her head too close to Oikawa's crotch. All four were tangled in the worst of position – if any were to slide, all four would fall into a pile of tangled limbs.

"When is it going to stop…?" She asked, arms and legs tired from the position she was forced to hold.

"Why stop now when it's getting interesting?" Matsukawa asked – somewhere behind her.

"The fun part is about to start!" Oikawa exclaimed, voice smothered by the position he was in, "Right, Iwa-chan~?"

"You don't– s-stop it!" He hissed, voice getting high pitched.

Kiku twisted her head and noticed Oikawa tickling his best friend's armpits.

"If he falls, he falls on you, Oikawa!" She exclaimed, _"HIII!_ Who is touching me?!" She exclaimed, looking over her shoulder.

"I was just curious about your panties' color," Matsukawa answered, lifting up her dress for everyone to look.

"OI!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, already lifting up one foot to kick him.

In the same time, squealing in embarrassment, Kiku pulled her leg away, twisting awkwardly for Matsukawa to stop lifting up her skirt. By doing so, she kicked someone's limb. Gasps were heard, warnings were shouted, then screams erupted when everyone started falling on each other. When she noticed what was happening, not wanting to fall into the mass of limbs in a most certainly awkward position, her legs jumped and twisted above everyone else's, her feet landing on the side. She straightened up, falling on her knees just as the three boys fell on top of each other with loud growls of pain – in-between for some limbs, actually…

She watched the three as they remained where they were for a moment, their limbs in pain and blocked in the awkward position.

"Uuuuurgh…"

"C-cant b-breathe…!" Oikawa hissed, struggling away from Iwaizumi.

"Light blue – _worth_ it…" Matsukawa muttered.

He gasped when Iwaizumi kicked him, Kiku putting her hands on top of her thighs and blushing in embarrassment.

" _Can't_ breathe…!"

Iwaizumi kicked and pushed off Matsukawa who rolled away, liberating Oikawa who quickly straightened up on his knees and hands, overdoing it again by pretending his rib cage was broken and had pierced his lungs.

"You'd already be drowning in your own blood, shut it," Iwaizumi grumbled, their legs somewhat still tangled.

He turned towards his girlfriend who was still watching, untouched and spared by the heavy fall.

"You're okay?" He asked worriedly.

She nodded while Makki – who had filmed the whole thing (once they were done playing mario kart they had started watching their senpais getting entangled) – finally spoke up from where he was standing:

"Well, she's the only one who managed to jump away from you three. It was quite graceful, I'm surprised."

"Survival at its finest," Yahaba agreed.

"No more game like that! It was perverted from the beginning! You perverts!" She exclaimed, staring mostly at Mattsun.

"How is it pervert? You had clothes on!" Makki exclaimed.

"I wouldn't say no to another one without the clothes on – must be fun watching your big boobs dangling down, how was it Iwaizumi? Too bad she had her dress, uh?" Matsukawa asked with a teasing grin.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, but couldn't stop flushing.

"Well! It made me hungry!" Oikawa exclaimed, suddenly standing up and going towards the table of food.

"I thought you were dying!" Iwaizumi exclaimed back, helping Kiku up even though she was the less likely to feel her limbs hurting.

"How can you eat so much…? You had an entire package of crisps earlier…" Kiku muttered, confused at the amount of food these boys could ingest.

"Crisps isn't food! I need _real_ food!"

"How about we get to the cakes and start giving the gifts?" Hanamaki proposed, turning towards Iwaizumi.

He blinked, remembering it was supposed to be his birthday party. Kiku grinned, hopping excitedly:

"I'm going to put on the candles!" She exclaimed, already disappearing in the kitchen before turning around, "Where are… the candles?" She asked.

"Let me help you, senpai," Yahaba proposed.

Oikawa forced Iwaizumi to sit down while they all helped clean up the mess they had done with all the drinks, junk food and candies they had scattered around. After showing Kiku everything she'd need, Yahaba came back with a bag for what needed to be thrown away. They made a pile of gifts and brought the plates. Oikawa dramatically pulled the curtains close to darken the room then went to help Kiku bring the cakes. Of course, he walked into someone's foot and almost fell over.

"Don't break anything! Or my mother is gonna kill me!" Iwaizumi exclaimed when he heard the sound.

A few seconds later, the room only lit by the cakes covered in candles, they all started singing Happy Birthday. As embarrassed as he was, Hajime couldn't stop grinning happily to be surrounded by his friends, his team and…

The moment Kiku put down the cake in front of him, she glanced up to him with a sweet smile. The fiery color of the cake was making her skin look like gold, her eyes shining beautifully from all eighteen candles lit up, her hair glowing, redder than usual.

He stopped breathing for a short moment, just as the song came to an end. He was so busy staring at Kiku that he didn't even realize it.

"…I believe it's the moment you blow on your candles and make a wish," Hanamaki said after a long moment of silence.

"Ah! Uh! Right!" He exclaimed, startling a little.

He glanced down at the candles. He hadn't thought about what wish he should make – he probably had dozens more wishes to make, like making his dream of volleyball come true, for his friends and family to be well and happy, for Kiku's life to be the best she ever had… but more than anything, he wanted to make a wish that was not for others' sake or for his life to keep being the best he could possibly dream of. He wanted to make a wish for his and Kiku's life _together_.

 _I wish we'll stay together until the end of our lives,_ he wished to himself, blowing on the candles in one blow while everyone cheered happily.

Maybe Kiku felt he'd make a wish for both of them because she suddenly appeared at his side, sitting down next to him and surrounding his arm with hers. She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Happy birthday, Hajime," she whispered in his ear.

He took her hand and squeezed, looking into her eyes with a giggly smile as the curtains were pulled open once again. He looked around, all of his teammates smiling to him.

Kiku had been the one to make the cakes – exactly as Oikawa had asked of her. A big, round cake, with lots of vanilla cream and strawberries with a special decoration on it: a big _'Happy birthday!'_ with a Godzilla holding a volley ball and _him_ , Oikawa Tooru, and lots of other turquoise leaves all around.

"The leaves represent all of us, the team! We couldn't have everyone represented so we had a make a choice – _obviously_ , it was _me_ –"

"I would have rather had Kiku," Iwaizumi said, but he was grinning anyway.

"Not like any of us had our word in the cake decoration – Oikawa said he'd handle the cake. We should have known he'd forget our existence," Hanamaki exclaimed as he took a few pictures of the cake before Kiku would cut it.

There were two more boxes of individual little cakes for the ones who would prefer other flavors plus another box of homemade Godzilla shaped and volley ball shaped cookies. There'd be enough cakes and sugar for _days_ , not that Hajime would complain, especially considering it was Kiku who had baked it all.

"I'll never get tired of Akiyama-san's baking…!" Yahaba sighed in delight, everyone nodding suddenly silent, focused on the food.

"I didn't have time to make the baby cakes, they're my father's and probably taste better." She said, knowing they were eying the little cakes as well.

"Baby cake…" Hajime repeated, glancing at her.

"Mmm?"

"It's cute, that you'd call it that." He said with a smile.

She smiled back and after a short moment of staring, Hanamaki coughed – everyone was starting to feel like a third-wheel. It was a lot of third-wheels gathered in one place.

"The gifts, the gifts!" Matsukawa exclaimed as they continued savoring the cake prepared by their manager.

Kiku was the only one who hadn't taken a slice of the main cake – because of her lactose intolerance so she had settled for a baby strawberry pie.

"Open mine first!" Oikawa exclaimed, grabbing one from the pile before putting it away from Iwa-chan's reach, "No, after all, open it last! The best for last!"

"…I had asked just money… you guys shouldn't have done so much…" Hajime said, a little awkward at the pile of packed gifts – he didn't comment on Oikawa's enthusiasm.

 _Oikawa_ was more excited than _he_ was about opening the gifts – or rather, Hajime tried to make sure his excitement didn't show too much.

"We couldn't just give you money for your eighteenth birthday! Come on, you're our Ace!" Hanamaki exclaimed.

"When you asked for money, we decided to make a turn to gather money for you. We all put some money in it – including the coaches, some classmates and your parents. There's a card signed by everyone in it," Matsukawa explained, taking the big envelop resting on top of it.

"The coaches too?! When did you ask all of these people? I never noticed anything!" Iwaizumi exclaimed with a big grin.

"It's not too hard to act in your back when you're staring amorously at Kiku all day long," Hanamaki said teasingly.

The couple flushed but the Ace opened the envelop, reading the card that was so full of names and little messages it was getting hard to read – of course, the biggest message was Oikawa's. Probably the first one who had signed it.

"Tell us if there's enough money for what you want – whatever that is." Matsukawa said.

Hajime quickly counted – he was pretty sure he had never handed that much money in his whole life.

"It's more than enough! Thank you so much! Everyone, thank you!" He exclaimed.

"Group hug!" Oikawa exclaimed.

They all jumped on their Ace who laughed while Kiku pulled the table away to make sure no one's long leg would crash the cake or the gifts.

"Will you finally tell us what it is you want to buy with this money?" Oikawa asked curiously when they all pulled away.

Hajime found his phone laying on the couch and after a few clicks, he showed the pictures he had taken of the bearded dragon after visiting him a few more times:

"I need to prepare everything for this little guy," he said, showing them his phone screen.

They all stared with big eyes at the picture of the bearded dragon on his phone.

"It's… a lizard…? Why do you have the picture of a lizard on your phone?" Hanamaki asked.

" _Not_ a lizard, a bearded dragon!" Iwaizumi corrected, "He's at the SPCA, I'm going to adopt him. _Someone_ … opened my eyes on the fate of so many pets and animals, and I remembered recently that when I was a child I wanted a pet lizard. This little guy and I get along well, so I'm adopting him. My parents agreed to it too as long as I take good care of him."

They all turned towards Kiku, who they knew was the "someone" who had opened their Ace's eyes. They started thinking that he was doing it for her, but it wasn't like Iwaizumi to take a pet in just to impress a girl, to risk making an animal sad for someone else; so they concluded he seriously wanted a pet.

"I remember when we were children, we had put money together and went to buy a lizard at the pet shop! But… the seller told us that we were too young. And I'm pretty sure that the fortune we had gathered didn't go higher than 500yen…" Oikawa explained, looking back on the memories fondly.

"Eh? I don't remember."

"So mean, Iwa-chan! We almost became _parents_ , how could you forget that?! _You're_ the one who had wanted the pet to begin with!" He exclaimed, hand on his heart.

"How are you gonna call him?" Hanamaki asked, going through his friend's pictures of the bearded dragon.

Hajime opened his lips to answer but they all said in one voice:

" _Godzilla!"_

"It's so obvious, it was a stupid question," Hanamaki added, "I like this picture, you look stupid on it." He continued, showing the picture where the dragon had been climbing on his shoulder, paw on his face.

Hajime took his phone back and locked it to make sure they wouldn't make stupid things with it.

"I haven't decided his name yet." He said with a shrug, "I wanted to ask your opinions," he added, looking straight at Kiku.

 _He wants the dragon to be his and Kiku's pet_ … They all realized with amused smiles.

Oikawa grinned, opening his lips, taking an intake of breath but before he could ask the obvious question burning his tongue, Iwaizumi – who had guessed his intention – cut him:

"No, _you_ don't get to name him. You're going to give him silly names."

"Iwa-chan Junior _is_ a good name!"

"No, it's not."

"Isn't it how you call Iwaizumi's dick? You didn't hear that, Kiku," Hanamaki continued, without glancing at the blushing girl.

"Can you _not_ –"

Iwaizumi's voice was cut when Oikawa leaned forward, staring at the only girl of the room:

"Kiku-chan, Kiku-chan! How would you call this bearded lizard? What are you favorite baby names~?"

"It's a bearded _dragon_ , Oikawa-san," She corrected with a smile, "And a pet isn't a baby."

"You're sure you know the difference between a pet and a baby?" Hanamaki asked her with wide, doubtful eyes.

She threw him a harsh look, making him grin teasingly.

"In the end, it'll be Hajime's choice anyway." She said with a shrug.

"Okay, okay~! But what are you favorite baby names~?" Oikawa repeated.

"Oi… I know what you're trying to do, stop it." Iwaizumi mumbled, starting to flush a little, "And we're only eighteen there's no way–"

"Atsushi for a boy, and Mitsuha for a girl," she answered with a smile, unphased by the boys trying to tease her.

They all froze, not having expected an answer. Hajime blushed so suddenly he was pretty sure he was fuming.

"And I'm nineteen years old now."

"Atsushi and Mitsuha…" Matsukawa repeated before opening his lips.

"If you try to add 'Iwaizumi' to either of these names, you'll end up with your face in your plate." Kiku continued with a smile despite her threat – she had caught on their little game as well.

Calmly, Matsukawa glanced down at his plate in his hands, half of his cake and a baby cake still here. He looked back up, unimpressed at Kiku who kept a hard gaze on him, her smile looking more vicious than usual.

"That'd be a waste of cake…" He said sadly.

"And saying these names with Iwaizumi associated to it would be a waste of saliva." She replied without blinking.

There was a moment of stunned silence then Hanamaki whistled proudly.

" _Oooh_ , that burns!"

"All hail to Kiku-chan! Who finally managed to get Mattsun to shut up!" Oikawa exclaimed, raising his glass of soda.

" _All hail to Kiku!"_ They all screamed, some 'Akiyama-san' mixing in it as they raised their glasses as well, making her blush.

"Aye, aye, very funny…" Mattsun mumbled, rolling his eyes.

While they started bantering, Hajime glanced very quickly at Kiku, flushed then focused on his drink. Atsushi and Mitsuha. He liked these names. He didn't associate them with 'Iwaizumi' but he had a feeling it'd fit well. Not that he was thinking of having children with Kiku (yet) – but at the moment, she was the one most likely he'd someday marry. Blushing even more, no one understood why he suddenly covered his blushing face with his hands, getting carried away by his line of thoughts.

Once everyone had calmed down, they continued to open the gifts. Some had been games or books he had wanted for a while, others were just big jokes from his best friends but every single gift brought a smile to his face. Hajime was so happy about all the gifts he had already received that he didn't realize right away that Kiku was standing nearby, shyly and holding another gift. Oikawa noticed it and smiled, opening his lips to remind Hajime he had another gift to open but suddenly, Kiku whipped around and escaped in her boyfriend's bedroom. Tooru stared at her disappearing, curious but she came back almost immediately.

"Where did you put it?" He asked her in a hushed voice when she came back.

Understanding he had seen her, she smiled shyly:

"On his bed… I don't want others to see it…" She whispered in embarrassment.

"I'll make sure you catch some time with him later," he added with a wink.

She smiled gratefully just as the boys decided to play _Just Dance_ – even if it wasn't Hajime's favorite (not at all) Makki had taken it from his sister and brought it on Oikawa's order. While Hajime continued discovering his gifts, the others all took turns enjoying _Just Dance_ – especially Kiku and Oikawa.

"So, that's why he told me to bring it," Hanamaki said, letting himself drop on the couch near Iwaizumi after an intense showdown against Kiku.

He looked up, seeing his best friend and girlfriend going for another dance – it might have been the eighth they did together.

"It was to make sure she didn't get bored. Honestly, I had totally forgotten that she was a girl not used to us being, well, boys." Hanamaki explained.

"You're right, it didn't occur to me she might get bored with us. But she seems to be having fun. Thanks to you, guys…" Iwaizumi answered with a smile, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me – most of it was Oikawa's plan. He's the one who asked her to prepare the cakes knowing it'd make you both happy. He's the one who asked me to bring _Just Dance_ and he also made an entire plan so that you'd get some time with Kiku and he made sure we'd only have games _she_ could be included in."

"His plan has been working so far and I suppose it's far from being over, uh?" Iwaizumi continued with a thankful smile.

"Truth be told, if Kiku wasn't here, hell would have broken loose already. We'd probably be all naked or close to it," Mattsun added, sitting at the other side of Iwaizumi.

"And I'm pretty sure he asked _Just Dance_ in particular to see if she could break his record." Hanamaki added.

"He never does anything simply anyway. There's always something he'll get one way or another. But that's why he's our Captain, for better or for worse!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, the two others nodding with smiles as, a few meters away, Oikawa whined about losing against Kiku who was laughing happily.

Hajime sighed, thinking she was breathtakingly beautiful, even with her sweaty face from dancing, her messy hair and red cheeks, and some splashed soda on the side of her dress.

After a few more time spent together, the second and first years decided to go when the sun was setting down. Considering the group of third years would stay for the night, Kiku started a first cleaning around while the four boys seemed to doze off. Stomachs full by eating too much food, having spent the entire afternoon having fun and laughing, all four were leaning against each other, noses going down as they fought off sleep. When Kiku returned from the kitchen, they were napping. She turned off the tv and cleaned around a little.

Hajime was the first one to wake up when Oikawa suddenly fell on his laps. He startled awake and brushed his sleepy eyes, making both Oikawa and Hanamaki growl, respectively on his laps and against his shoulder.

"Oi, guys, we fell asleep," he said, pushing off Hanamaki.

He mumbled, along with Mattsun and Hajime got up, making all three falling on top of each other on the couch. He glanced around but Kiku was gone, along with her bag.

"Fuck… Kiku left…" He said, disappointed.

Now awake, the others realized it as well.

"Ah…"

"Well, she probably prefers it this way anyway–"

The door suddenly opened and Kiku reappeared, making all four stare at her with wide eyes. She smiled sheepishly and lifted up a little plastic bag.

"I realized there wasn't any more fruit juice. I thought you might want some tomorrow morning." She explained.

The relief hit Hajime so suddenly that he felt himself fall back on the couch.

"We thought you had left." Mattsun said.

"I wouldn't do it without saying goodbye. If you want me gone–"

"NO!" Hajime exclaimed, making everyone glance his way.

He blushed, Kiku suddenly looking down, cheeks red.

"I-I m-mean… I-if you prefer… to leave… we won't force you to stay…"

She seemed hesitant, probably still a little unsure about spending a night in the same house as four grown-up young men.

"W-what movies do you plan on watching?" She asked sheepishly.

"P-Pacific Rim and G-Godzilla! The last one!" He exclaimed.

She smiled then shrugged:

"I never watched them…" She answered, "And considering my parents agreed to let me stay…"

"Great!" Hajime exclaimed, earning teasing glances from his friends, "I-I mean…"

Kiku chuckled adorably before continuing:

"I'm really impatient to see these movies!"

When the boys complained that they were getting hungry, how it was physically possible escaped Kiku, but she started preparing food for them, Oikawa and Iwaizumi helping her a little as they knew the kitchen better while Mattsun and Makki had taken out the alcohol and had decided to play a drinking game: true or false – they would each say something about them, the others had to guess if it was true or false. The ones who were wrong in guessing drank while the one who had given his statement had to drink a sip for every person who was right. Kiku was the only one allowed not to drink, because of her medicine but they all agreed that Hajime had to drink _her_ share – _he_ did not agree with it at all and already felt dizzy after only seven statements…

"I've jerked myself off thinking about Iwaizumi," Matsukawa stated, staring straight at the Ace.

"Wha– false!" He exclaimed, leaning against the counter.

"Right!" Oikawa and Hanamaki said instead.

They turned towards Kiku who was checking the cooking. She seemed hesitant then smiled:

"I'm going to say right," she said, making her boyfriend's eyes go wide.

"Iwaizumi, you drink," Mattsun said with a teasing grin.

"What?! What the– you masturbzabgr–"

"Dude, you know I'm bisexual. Anyone attracted to men would be attracted to you!"

"Amen to that," Kiku said in a hushed voice but was still heard.

"But I'm your friend!"

"And? You're still pretty hot. Don't worry, I won't hit on you, I won't steal him from you, Kiku," he continued.

"I'm not worried," she answered calmly.

Iwaizumi growled in embarrassment before taking yet another sip as Matsukawa took three.

"Why are all of your statements sexual?" Kiku asked suddenly, turning around.

"Because we're boys and we're obsessed," Hanamaki said as if it was natural, "Oikawa, your turn."

"I know where Iwa-chan hides his porn!" He piped up happily, lifting up his arms enthusiastically, starting to get a little tipsy as well.

"No, you don't," Iwaizumi answered, narrowing his eyes at him before glancing sheepishly at Kiku, "I-I d-don't have… any…"

She raised an eyebrow, knowing a lie where there was one.

"I'm saying right – no, yes, right. He knows." Hanamaki said, staring at his drink.

"Same."

"…Iwa-chan… you really have to get better at this game." Oikawa said with a desperate shake of his head.

"Are you kidding me?!" He exclaimed, not believing that firstly his friend knew where he hid it (because it meant that his parents knew as well) and secondly because he had to drink again.

"Remember we have to hold one for two entire movies after that." Hanamaki said.

"Food will help you. I hope." Kiku said, "It's almost ready."

To get his revenge to the others making him drink so much, he put down his glass suddenly:

"My turn! My statement! I know what happened to Hanamaki in seventh grade, Kiku told me!" He exclaimed, staring strongly at Hanamaki.

His lips fell open and for good measure, Iwaizumi started to look amused – he actually _was_ , knowing Hanamaki was currently panicking and trying to figure out if it was right or wrong. Oikawa and Matsukawa both turned towards Hanamaki then back at Iwaizumi. They all remembered that time Hanamaki totally panicked about something that had happened in seventh grade – something only _Kiku_ knew. They had spent the last few months trying desperately to know what it was but Kiku had never spilled the beans.

Keeping her back to the boys so they wouldn't read her expression, Kiku forced her lips to stay in a straight line, trying not to smile or laugh, focusing on the food cooking up.

"…You didn't tell him, did you?" Hanamaki asked, sounding hurt and betrayed.

"You're on your own for this own, Makki," she answered calmly.

"Come on! You had promised to never tell anyone! How could you tell him?!" He hissed.

"I'm her boyfriend, she doesn't have any secret for me." He said calmly before looking him straight in the eye, "I'm not surprised you'd want to keep it a secret with what happened to you…" He said, putting up his best empathetic expression.

Hanamaki stepped away, lips wide open as tears of panic actually filled his eyes (the alcohol helped), not believing Kiku had betrayed him in the vilest way possible by telling his biggest secret in his whole existence to Iwaizumi!

It convinced the two others as well who immediately gasped:

"Tell me too!"

"Iwa-chan, you knew and you didn't tell me!"

"It's too big to reveal like that," he answered.

"I can't believe it… you told him…" Hanamaki whimpered, turning around and hiding his face in Matsukawa's shoulder.

He patted his head casually before continuing, Hanamaki trying to strangle him for that but managing to grab his wrists and keep him off:

"I want to know. Tell me now!"

"I need to know too! If it's that big it must be SO good!"

Iwaizumi sighed deeply, glanced at Kiku. She looked confused, shaking her head with tight lips.

"You can't tell them… I trusted you… you can't just reveal it like that…" She continued.

Hajime sighed once again, turning to his friends, Hanamaki whipping to him:

"No, no, no! Don't tell them! _Please!_ If you're my friends, don't tell them!" He begged, falling on his knees.

"You guys need to get better at this game," he said calmly, lifting up his glass, mimicking Oikawa a few minutes ago.

They all froze, staring at him with wide eyes before they started screaming, grabbing their hair and pulling in agony.

"I can't believe I believed you!"

"Iwa-chan, how could you do that?!"

"I'm safe… I'm fucking safe…!" Hanamaki sighed, letting himself sit on the floor.

"AHAHA! I got you!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, jerking his head backwards as he pointed at the others, cheeks flushed.

"And that's it – he's getting drunk! That's _how_ he managed to trick us!" Oikawa exclaimed, bitterly drinking his due.

"So, basically, he laughs a lot and he's adorable when drunk?" Kiku concluded, turning around.

"Last time he started having a laughing fit whenever we'd tell him random words. Like pea." Oikawa explained before turning towards a grinning Iwaizumi, "Iwa-chan. Pea."

"Pfaahah! I'm not going to laugh again at this word! Drop it!"

"You're laughing, though."

"No, I'm not!" He exclaimed, laughing.

"Dinner is ready, if you're still interested." Kiku intervened, smiling in amusement at their tipsy selves.

"You helped him trick us, you traitor!" Makki exclaimed, pointing at her from the floor, still hanging onto the seventh grade accident.

"Of course I helped him, he's my boyfriend. Who do you think I'd side with? Now, get up and help me out."

They took plates of food and put on their first movie – temporarily not drinking and the food and many goings to the toilets to pee helped them get rid of their half-drunken state. Thankfully so because Hajime complained about how he wouldn't have enjoyed Godzilla to its fullest otherwise. In between the movies, eating some more birthday cake and getting fulled again, they started to have their eyes dropping a little.

"Do we change into our pajamas now or later?" Hanamaki asked, letting his head fall backwards.

"Now… If one of us falls asleep during the movie, it'd be less troublesome."

"We should prepare the futons too."

The night was already quite advanced and they could go to sleep, but were too stubborn to give up yet – and Hajime would _not_ sleep until he's watched Godzilla.

"Ah! Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, suddenly remembering a little trouble, "You need to give some clothes to Kiku-chan! Makki forgot to warn her so she didn't bring anything to sleep in!"

"Unless you want her to sleep naked," Mattsun commented, getting elbowed by the two others, "What? It's a possible and pleasant alternative."

Kiku turned sheepishly, embarrassed by it towards Hajime, who was pretty sure that Makki had forgotten _on purpose_ just for this turn of events. Rolling his eyes, he stood up and just before Kiku could follow him, Oikawa winked at her. She remembered her birthday gift waiting for Hajime and after her lips turned into a 'o' of understanding, she hurried after her boyfriend. While he was rummaging through his wardrobe to find her some clothes, she glanced at the untouched gift on his bed.

"It's an old shirt I haven't put on in a while because it doesn't fit me anymore but…" He explained sheepishly, handing her some of his training shorts and a shirt.

Curious, she read what was written in red on the black sleeveless shirt.

" _Konjyouron… 'Belief that where there's a will, there's a way'_ … It's so… you!" She said with a grin.

He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes caught sight of something on his bed and Kiku smiled, glad he had finally noticed it.

"I… I didn't dare give it to you earlier… a-and… it was embarrassing in front of everyone…" She explained sheepishly.

"Y-you… s-shouldn't have…" He said, but a grin appeared on his face.

He walked towards the gift, sitting down on the side of his bed and Kiku sitting next to him, a little impatiently to see his reaction.

"T-there is… um, last year's gift as well that I… never had the courage to give to you…" She said, flushing in embarrassment.

He smiled to her tenderly before leaning down to kiss her temple, surprising her:

"Some day… will you tell me how… and _why_ you fell in love with me before we really met?" He asked softly.

She smiled back, heart fluttering happily.

"Of course I will…" She answered, kissing his cheek.

A little impatient, he opened the package, but didn't tear the paper wrapping, wanting to enjoy every second they spent together. As promised, there was another, smaller package in it – it was all soft because, as he opened it, it was a scarf and winter cap, all fluffy. He glanced at her in confusion and she explained, ashamed of how lame her gift was:

"I… I had noticed that you often came to practice without a scarf or cap, even when it was snowing… I was worried you'd catch a cold so I… once saw it and bought it for you, fully intending to give it to your birthday last year but… whenever I'd approach your locker, I would freak out… and in the end, it's an entire year late." She explained, glancing down at her hands on her laps.

"It's… the most thoughtful gift I have received in… I'm pretty sure forever… Thank you…" He answered, putting on the scarf and winter cap even though they were in June.

She chuckled at the view as he let his fingers and nose enjoy the fluffiness of the scarf – it was green colored. His favorite color.

Recalling there was another gift waiting for him, he opened the box and took out… an empty jar. It was a simple jar, the type his mother kept to put some condiments or marmalade in. He glanced at Kiku who moved her fingers together awkwardly.

"…You're going to have to explain this one, because I'm… confused…" He said, checking that there wasn't anything else in the box and nothing could explain why she had offered him an empty marmalade jar for his eighteenth birthday.

"I… I have the same…" She started sheepishly, blushing.

"We… have the same empty jar. G-great… I love it." He said, not quite knowing what to do about it.

She chuckled, amused by his reaction and turned towards him, taking his free hand in hers and looking into his eyes:

"I have the same jar in which I put little papers saying random things about you, things I like about you, things I noticed, and… the moments we spent together. Like _'he said good morning to me today'_ or _'he said see you tomorrow'_ or _'he had the sweetest smile today'_ … I-I always loved the idea that I could conserve all of these little moments that we might not remember in the long term but that are so precious that it makes every day special. I want to remember every moment spent with you, which is why I write down whatever makes me happy." She explained with a grin.

Hajime stared at her, an amazed smile on his face, heart beating excitedly. He put down the jar next to him then cupped her cheek, leaning down to kiss her lips. She took a little intake of breath, not having expected such a kiss. But she smiled against his lips and leaned forward, kissing him back. His fingers brushing her cheek, he deepened the kiss and let his hand go behind her head, kissing her deeper, more passionately until he unconsciously pushed her down against his mattress. Needing to breath, they pulled away, blushing when they realized their position.

"S-sorry, I'm… still a little drunk…" He stammered, feeling the blood pulsing in his temples.

"I-it's… it's okay…" She whispered.

He glanced up then grinned, quickly standing up as she sat up again. He grabbed the closest notebook he had, wrote down something on a torn paper from it then sat back next to her, showing her the message he had written.

 _Today, Kiku offered my favorite birthday gifts ever for my eighteenth birthday. One thoughtful and kind to keep me safe from the cold winter and one cute and lovely to keep our feelings alive forever_.

He laughed, a little to himself, a little lost in happy love and a little because of the alcohol. Kiku grinned happily as he proudly put the message into the jar she had offered him. Then he reached for a notebook on his night table and put it in Kiku's hands. She recognized the glossy, black cover with written _"All the things I can't say out loud…"_

"It's… the same you had offered to me…" She whispered, opening it at a random page.

"I've… been noticing things about you too…" He explained, flushing a little.

She read a few things he had written about her – _she_ didn't know all these things about herself but he had noticed. He had noticed _all_ of it, about _her_. It was strangely comforting that they had had the same idea: offering the other a gift representing how they wanted their feelings to keep getting stronger for everyday that would come for them but also, gathering all of the little details that had made them fall in love with one another.

Kiku looked up at Hajime, both smiling, foolishly in love with each other. She leaned to him, kissing him suddenly, which made him laugh in delight. He cupped her cheeks, kissing her back then layering peppering kisses all over her face, making her laugh happily while she took off the ridiculous scarf and winter cap he was still wearing, then he captured her lips once again. Nothing could make them happier: laughing and kissing and their eyes sparkling. They were the happiest they could possibly be.

They kissed and laughed for a long moment, until Kiku ended up laying on his bed once again and he kissed her jaw and neck softly. Suddenly realizing what he was doing, Hajime panicked a little, blaming the alcohol for letting him lower his guard. He straightened up suddenly.

"We should… get in pajamas… and watch the movie…" He said.

"Oh… right. I had forgotten about the others…" Kiku answered, sitting up as well.

"Then… I'll let you change in my room, join us when you're ready. If you need, the bathroom is on the right." He explained, standing up and approaching his door.

Kiku stood up suddenly:

"U-um! H-Ha… Hajime…"

"Yeah?"

She turned around hesitantly and pointed at her dress zipper that she couldn't reach.

"Could you…"

Her voice trailed off and he flushed but managed to say a casual _"yeah, of course"_ without his voice trembling. He went to her, as she pulled away her hair from her neck so he'd have access to the zipper in her back. He could see some of her scars covering her shoulders – he hadn't noticed it until now. He grabbed the zipper from his fingertips and slowly pulled it down. He didn't stare but it opened a little, one or two centimeters, but enough for him to catch sight of her bra… and all of the scars covering her back. Kiku was still, she wasn't breathing, probably wondering what face he was making upon seeing her scars – afraid? Disgusted? Sad? She didn't dare glance over her shoulder.

Zipper down, Hajime should have moved away but he hesitated. His hands trembled. He wanted to surround her body with his arms, to pull her against him and give her comfort… It'd be so easy to brush her shoulder, to lean down and kiss her where her scars started, he could almost feel her back against his chest, the curves of her body revealed to him either pressed against his muscles and in view for him to savor.

He lowered his gaze, breaking sight from her scars. He resisted his urges, then calmly walked away to give her intimacy.

Kiku stared at him leaving – he had avoided looking at her. Ashamed that she had been forced to ask him to pull down her zipper, and mostly that he had seen her scars… she lowered her head and forced her trembling hands to take off her clothes so she could join the others before they'd fall asleep.

As soon as she joined them, Oikawa rejoiced in seeing her wearing this shirt in particular, saying how everyone was making fun of him when he had been wearing it back in Kitagawa Daiichi – except for Kindaichi and Kageyama who found him "cool". When it got too embarrassing for Iwaizumi, he put on the dvd and forced everyone to shut up to fully enjoy the movie. They _did_ have a bet going on though: every time Hajime would start quoting the movie (he knew it by heart) they'd force him to drink a little alcohol. He tried resisting the urge, but he couldn't – he ended up tipsy yet again half-way through it. Though, Oikawa was slowly drifting considering he had quoted the movie as well. Kiku enjoyed the movie, but she wasn't totally focused on it either – she couldn't help thinking back on how Hajime had acted when he had seen her scars. Fear knotted her stomach but she was feeling so tired by the long day and constantly looking after the boys, that she couldn't focus on anything. She ended up asleep against Oikawa's shoulder, not realizing he was moving around and they were making so much sound. It was at the end of the movie that they realized she had fallen asleep, Oikawa shook her and when he noticed Iwaizumi jealously staring at them because she had fallen asleep on _another boy's_ shoulder, he told them to go get ready for bed. Iwaizumi was getting so drunk he was about to pass out and the only thing keeping him awake and more or less conscious of his surroundings were his passion for Godzilla and his jealousy. He forced Iwaizumi to accompany Kiku to bed – she was the lady, she'd take the bed while they'd take the futons, as noble as they were – though, after three steps, it was _Kiku_ guiding Hajime to his bed instead. Meanwhile, the three others sleepily and drunkenly put away everything.

"Come on, Hajime, just go to sleep…" Kiku told him, keeping him from hitting the door.

She pushed away with her feet the futon in his way then she let him drop on the bed, sitting up despite the state he was in. She sat at his side, brushing his hair protectively while he scrunched up his nose at the overwhelming sensations he felt.

"I hate being drunk…" He mumbled.

"Then why did you drink so much?"

He started laughing, almost hysterically before turning to her, with a puppy-like smile that made her smile as well.

"Because it's fun!" He exclaimed.

"I'm not sure you'll say the same thing tomorrow morning…" She said, amused.

She glanced around, not sure where she'll sleep but before she could ask anything, she caught sight of Hajime's gaze. He seemed a little lost and confused, definitely tipsy and tired, but he still stared straight at her with an intensity that took her breath away.

"I'm sorry, Kiku…" He suddenly said, lips trembling a little.

"W-why? Why would you be?" She asked softly.

"Because I'm a terrible boyfriend… a terrible, terrible guy…!"

"It's not true–"

"I _lied_ to you, I'm so sorry…!" He murmured, hiding his face in her neck as she blinked, stunned by his words, "I'm a terrible boyfriend! I lied to you – I'm not really scared of the dark, I had only said it because I wanted to hold your hand…!"

She remembered that time they had been stuck in the staff room, with the compliments of the three idiots who were trying to get them together. When he had acted strangely – because of their physical proximity – she had asked him if he was scared of the dark and had taken his hand for comfort. Only Iwaizumi Hajime would be haunted by such a little, and adorable 'lie'. And it wasn't like Kiku was innocent either – she had asked him that _hoping_ he would answer positively just to have an opportunity to hold his hand.

She started petting his hair, which seemed to calm him down a little but before she could speak up, he continued his drunken blabbering:

"A-also… also I confessed to you a long time ago… but you were asleep and didn't hear me back then… I'm sorry I didn't face you then…" He continued, sounding like he was getting heart-broken.

"Oh, you big muffin… I know all of that already…" She murmured, amused by his drunken self, and flushing at the petname she had instinctively given him – she had _not_ known that he had confessed to her _before_ a few days ago, but it made her strangely happy.

He moved away from her, staring in confusion and keeping his nose adorably scrunched up.

"I knew you're not scared of the dark and I don't mind that you said so back then. And… I was the first one to confess to you when you were asleep…" She said with a soft smile.

"You… did…? So… you're not… angry at me…? You're not going to leave me…?" He asked in a low, fragile voice.

Kiku's heart squeezed and fastened when he said that. She had been so happy about Hajime promising not to leave her, being in love with her that she had never considered _his_ feelings about the topic – _of course_ a part of him might be afraid _she'd_ be the one leaving _him_ …

"I'm not leaving you… ever… I promise, Hajime… I'm not leaving you." She said, cupping his cheek.

He nodded, closed his eyes then leaned against her hand.

"I'm going to kiss you now…" He suddenly said, slowly leaning towards her.

Stunned by the sudden change of topic she didn't refuse as he brushed her cheek with his hand. She closed her eyes, waiting for his kiss then, she felt some weight falling on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and stared at Hajime, fallen on her shoulder, a light snoring escaping his lips.

"…H-Hajime?" She called awkwardly, "Y-you're heavy…"

She tried to shake him awake, to get him to move but he only fell even more against her until she couldn't hold his weight upwards and fell backwards, the strong Ace unintentionally pinning her down.

" _Great_ …" She muttered, trying desperately to get him to move.

But being drunk, even asleep, he was particularly stubborn: he was comfortable and didn't want to move – there was no moving him when half her body was getting crushed by him. She noticed his phone laying on the bed, she reached for it, ignoring the snoring Ace pressing her down. She was lucky that it wasn't locked and she only had to slide the screen background (Godzilla, without surprise) to get to the messages. She sent a 'HELP' message to Oikawa. Thirty seconds later or so, the three other third-years arrived in the room, holding back their snickers when they understood what happened.

"Help. I can't move him. I can't feel my arm anymore from how heavy he is."

At first, only Makki and Mattsun tried to lift him up, but because Mattsun was as drunk, he became useless after five seconds and Oikawa had to do the rest of the job. They managed to turn around and drag the heavy Ace to his pillow. He immediately turned on his side, grabbing a pillow to be more comfortable.

"Good call getting in pajamas before the movies," Makki said while Mattsun just rolled into the futon that was just at his feet.

"Good night…" He mumbled, quickly joining Iwaizumi in the land of drunken dreams.

"Let's go to sleep, I'm about to collapse…" Oikawa murmured, dragging himself towards the futon at the other side of the room.

"U-um… w-where do I go…?" Kiku asked him hesitantly.

"Eh? You're the lady, you sleep in Iwa-chan's bed." Oikawa said casually, shrugging it off.

She opened wide eyes and glanced over her shoulder, seeing the Ace sleeping.

"B-but, h-he's! He's _in_ his bed! He's sleeping in his bed! I-I can't sleep i-in the s-same… b-bed as him…!" She exclaimed, blushing while Mattsun's snores resonated.

"Why not? He's so passed out he won't even realize you slept in his bed. In the worst case scenario, if he grabs you he'll think you're a pillow." Makki explained, preparing the futon at the foot of the Ace's bed.

"Can't one of you sleep with him instead?" Kiku asked in a hushed voice.

"Nope," Makki and Oikawa answered in the same time.

"B-but…!"

"Don't worry, Kiku-chan! Consider it to be his birthday gift!"

"How is it supposed to convince me to sleep with him?"

"He won't do anything to you, he'll sleep like a log, and you'll get to be greeted by his sleepy face tomorrow morning~ It's a win-win situation~!"

"More like his hangover face," Makki corrected.

Kiku stared at them as they turned off the lights and went under the covers. Their steady breathings quickly filled the room. She glanced over her shoulder at the silhouette of Hajime in the mid-darkness. Too exhausted to think anymore about any of it, she hesitantly approached the other pillow. She tried to make sure not to be physically close to Hajime, staying on her side, back to him, at the very edge of the bed, just above Oikawa. She hoped she wouldn't fall over on him just as she felt a disagreeable sensation in her side. In her breasts exactly. She sighed annoyingly, rolling over when she realized she had forgotten to take off her bra and it was killing her. If she didn't take it off she'd end up with bruises – or even some scratches. It had happened before. Quickly considering her options – four boys drunk and asleep, she decided to go for it. She sat up and reached for her bra, swiftly taking it off and hiding it under her pillow. She didn't realize that her moves had made her shift a little closer to Hajime. Suddenly, his strong arm fell over her, pinning her down. She squealed, blushing and praying he hadn't noticed her taking off her bra. But he only surrounded her waist and scooted closer to her, brushing his nose against her shoulder. He sighed and seemed to visibly relax in his sleep, keeping her close to him. She observed his face, lit up by the moonlight. She relaxed as well now that he kept her safe and warm in his strong arms… Smiling softly, she let him hug her and fell asleep, weirdly lulled by the snoring of the boys – or maybe it was Hajime's breathing and steady heartbeat.

The following morning, Kiku was woken up by the sunlight straight into her face. She buried her face in the pillow, squealing a little as an adorable yawn took over her. She was on her side and she felt Hajime's arm around her, the Ace still hugging her close from behind, face against her neck. Considering the noise level of breathing, the four boys were still sleeping deeply. She glanced over her shoulder and observed Hajime's sleeping face. Peaceful and beautiful, as expected… His hair was messier than usual and she resisted the urge to dive her fingers into it. Her moves had made his grip on her waist loosen up and she was free to move. Making sure not to wake him up, or step on Oikawa or another boy on her way out, she moved away from the bed. She went back to take her bra from under the pillow then she slowly moved around all the boys. She opened the door, but it was blocked by Makki's feet. She pushed his legs away with her foot, making him growl and roll around but he didn't wake up. She opened the door, slipped past it then closed it again.

"…Who's the fucking asshole who forgot to close the curtains, damn it…?" Makki grumbled, covering his head with his pillow before blindly grabbing Oikawa's ankle, "Oikawa…!"

"MmmMMM!" He moaned, kicking him away before they both went back to sleep; Makki's hand still loose around his ankle.

Hajime woke up slowly, partially from the sunlight burning his eyelids – he was already cursing the alcohol he had drank the previous night… then he realized that he was missing something. Or someone. He turned around a little, then stopped on his side, his hand brushing over the still warm covers of his bed…

 _Kiku_ … He thought.

He sat up and glanced around, still sleepy and definitely hangover. All three futons were taken by his friends, meaning that Kiku must have…

His lips fell open and he flushed when he realized she had slept with him. In his bed. Fuck, he barely remembered what had happened before going to bed – he hoped he hadn't been a creep…

He stood up, but far from being as clear minded as Kiku with the alcohol still pulsing in his veins, he almost castrated Mattsun who screamed when he was stepped on.

"Sorry," Hajime mumbled, opening the door and hearing Makki growl loudly when he hit his legs by doing so, "Oops…"

He quickly exited his bedroom, going straight for the restroom for morning urinary business. It was half-way through his business that he realized that _if_ Kiku had spent the night with them, but wasn't sleeping anymore, she was probably _around_ … He opened wide eyes and hoped she hadn't seen him aim straight for the toilets, probably looking like a zombie. By the time he was done with his business, he realized it was probably creepy to have all of his thoughts turned to his girlfriend while he was _peeing_.

"Gods, alcohol is _so_ not good for me…" He mumbled when he washed his hands and splashed fresh water on his face.

He didn't look any more woken up and just prayed for the best when he exited the bathroom. He went into the living-room, sighing in relief to see nothing broken and everything cleaner than expected. Hearing some noise, he went into the kitchen and found Kiku here, still wearing his clothes and hair messy from the night. He couldn't help but stare at her for a long moment, wondering what he should do. Start with "good morning"? Or a kiss on the temple? The cheek? Or should he just go and hug her from behind? Or should he just say "hey"? Or… Gods, he wished he'd wake up every morning to find her in the kitchen, casually leaning against the counter, waiting for him to wake up and join her… He'd get to try all the possibilities he was currently think of to greet her – one try for each morning, until they found what they liked most.

But before he could decide, Kiku turned around and found him here, a smile immediately appearing on her face. It took his breath away and a smile appeared on his face without him even realizing it.

"You're beautiful…" He whispered, staring at her, bathed in the sunlight.

She was wearing his old clothes, too big for her, her hair was a mess, she had bags under her eyes, her lips were a little dry from the night… but she had greeted him with the most beautiful smile in the world and the most beautiful eyes to ever exist. He felt blessed and wished every morning could be one thousandth _that_ happy…

Kiku flushed adorably, glancing down very quickly before looking back up at him. Without a word, she showed him her hand and he grabbed it, walking the space separating them until he had surrounded her body with his arms and she was leaning against him. Unlike all the times they had hugged until now, there was only one layer of clothes – not their annoying uniform or clothes getting in the way… Just their wrinkled pajama and messy hair. Curves pressing against hard muscles, they relaxed, still sleepy in their warm coziness.

"I wish time would stop and I could keep living this moment forever and forever…" Kiku whispered against his chest.

"So do I…" He murmured, brushing his nose against the top of her head.

"Say it if we bother you."

Kiku and Hajime startled, whipping around, their three friends standing there. Oikawa's hair was indescribable as he yawned, obviously still thinking he was in his futon. Makki was scratching his stomach, not caring how he looked while Mattsun blinked away sleep.

"Is breakfast ready, mom…?" He asked in a low voice.

Hajime sighed, desperate by these idiots while Kiku chuckled. They might be idiots, but they were his friends. And for better or worse, he loved them all – though very differently from the way he loved Kiku.

"Go sit down and finish your night, I'm bringing you something to eat," Kiku said, pushing Hajime so he'd join the others.

"Thanks, mom," Mattsun answered, the two others echoing him.

She chuckled at their silliness, leaning against the counter and thanking the gods for making her life so beautifully happy.

* * *

 _PS : The shirt Kiku slept in is the one Hajime wears in middle-school we see in Oikawa's flashback when he gets hit and there is their "the strong six are stronger!" It's my favorite Japanese idiom "belief tht if there's a will, there's a way"_

 _PPS : It's canon (from the manga) that Oikawa, Kunimi and basically everyone laughed and thought this shirt funny - except Kindaichi and Kageyama who found it cool. I'm on the two babies' side on this one, sorry Oikawa._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : GODZILLA!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	42. Godzilla!

_Here is the new (filler) chapter! :D I hope you'll like it and I thnak everyone who followed and favorited!_

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll like what follows! :D_

 _ **Forevertrash97** : Kiku's relationship with the rest of the team and especially the 3rd years ae so great! Her friendship with Oikawa is so sweet! They're so supportive of each other, and such fans of Iwa-chan! XD I know he's not a genius, the way Tobio is (getting everything easily, etc.), but I consider that with his willpower and hard workk Oikawa is as much of a genius. That's just my opinion, though. Talking about genius, other than Kageyama and Nishonya who are known geniuses of volleyball, it's possible Kuoo is also a "genius" considering that he learned volleyball techniques through matches on tv which is an awful close to Kageyama "I learned y watching Oikawa". As for the fandom making him seem "kinder and sensible under his shitty mask" like you said, I don't think it's the fnadom doing but Oikawa is genuinely kind but lets his fears bite it away and force him to preserve himself by putting up a mask - he's very sensible I believe but like his kindness, it's covered up by too many layers of fears and lack of confidence in himself and his capacities. :)_

 _ **spice** : I TOO AM MUCH CONTENT TO KNOW YOU CONTENT! :D We techincally missed Kiku's birthday (May 1st) because it wasn't mentioned until it was too late, but after Hajime is alreayd preparing her a birthday party for next year. :)_

 _ **Krisia** : Is your brain not functioning because of last chapter? XD I hope not, it'd be bad~! The scars will be brought up soon enough, don't worry! ;)_

 _ **Aquafin** : I'm glad it made you laugh! :D Happy you is happy me! :D_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : I'm supposed to be on a diet and yet, I hate half of a tbalet of chocolate and I lost count of the biscuits... T.T I could need a goodfood poisoning to force me to stop eating junk food. I only got sick from being too drunk, and it was awful. I neer played twister so Ihope teh description was good enough! :)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I do hope it gets cuter and cuter! It's my goal! These two are the cutest~!_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XLII : Godzilla!

" _Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."_

― **Anne Frank**

" _I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway… let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves."_

― **C. JoyBell C.**

" _I tell you, that dragon's the most horrible animal I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes on about it, you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit."_

― **J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone**

" _Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day. It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them."_

― **John Grogan, Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World's Worst Dog**

" _There is no thing known as bad luck. There is luck, or no luck at all."_

― **Jeffrey Fry**

" _A Bad Omen is a warning. A sign to stop and reconsider. Proceed with caution."_

― **Kelley Armstrong, Omens**

"So, how was the week-end?" Umeko asked when she and Takashi arrived on the Sunday evening.

"It was great!" Hajime answered.

Except for his parents back, everyone was gone back to their respective homes. After two days full of people, the apartment had felt a little empty but he was glad his parents were back. They looked relaxed after their week-end in a hot spring.

"How did it go with Kiku?" She continued with a teasing smile, making him flush.

"Let him breath before asking about his girlfriend," Takashi said, bringing in the bag they had taken with him.

"I want to know everything you did! Ah, nothing is broken, right?" She asked, frowning and hands on her hips.

"Nothing is broken, mom, as promise." He answered.

She made a turn of the apartment to make sure of it then Takashi decided they'd go eat to a restaurant. Because Hajime's birthday had been during the week they couldn't go on the exact day of his birthday. It was his birthday with his parents and on their way there, they gave him the birthday gift from his grandparents then they all talked about their week-end. Of course, Hajime avoided mentioning how drunk he had been, or that he had helped Kiku unzip her dress – it was too embarrassing. They went to his favorite restaurant, where he ate his favorite dish, and after a good-hearted meal, Takashi coughed to attract his son's attention away from the messages he had been discreetly exchanging with Kiku (but his smile betrayed him).

"It's your eighteenth birthday, and as you asked, we gave you money for your pet." He started, almost ceremoniously despite his wife's light smile, "But your mother and I discussed a lot about what we could offer to you for such an important step in your life. Next year, you'll go to the university and you'll have your volleyball career to focus on and I know you still haven't decided where you'll go exactly, but we remembered that you had mentioned passing your driving license as soon as you could. Is it still in your priorities for next year?"

Hajime nodded vigorously, heart beating excitedly – he had a good idea of what would be his birthday gift but he tried to fight off the grin and wait to hear the words.

"Then."

Takashi took an envelop he had been keeping in his pocket then gave it to Hajime. He opened it and let keys fall down into the palm of his hand.

"It's… the car keys…" He recognized before widening his eyes, looking up at his parents who smiled.

"As soon as you have your driving license, your mother's car will be yours."

"B-but! M-mom! Dad! It's! So much! A-and you need you car for work!"

"I wanted to change car soon, it's a perfect timing. It doesn't have much kilometers but it's a good car." She said before standing up to sit by his side.

She surrounded his strong shoulders with her arm and kissed his cheek.

"It's nothing compared to the most beautiful gift in the world: being your mother. I am _so_ proud of the man you have become, Hajime, and I know you will have a good and happy life. I couldn't be prouder of my son." She said happily, tears in her eyes to see him so grown up.

Words strangled in his throat, Hajime turned around to hug her, a little longer than usual to show how much he loved her. He didn't show his parents often how much he loved them, even if they knew he _did_ love them, but after such a gift, and after learning everything that had happened to Kiku… he realized how lucky he was to have _two_ , _good_ parents who loved him so much.

"Thank you…" He whispered, to both his parents.

They smiled proudly, a little emotional to know that their little boy had grown up and was becoming a man.

 _On Monday, after school…_

"Be careful!" Umeko exclaimed, grabbing the vase that was too close to her tastes to the boys entering her apartment.

Hajime and Issei, who were carrying a gigantic and heavy box had to come to a stop while she took away everything she deemed too precious to be hit by accident. They managed to go into Hajime's bedroom, struggling a little to make the big box go through the doorway with the tiny hall. Oikawa and Hanamaki were following, carrying the rest of boxes and bags.

"Who would have thought that you'd need so much stuff for a lizard?" Matsukawa whined, letting himself fall on top of the bed while Hajime indicated to the two others where to put the boxes and bags.

"A _bearded-dragon_ ," he corrected, "He's still a baby but he'll grow up to 60cm. He needs lots of space to be comfortable."

"So, he might even grow past you? Impressive." Matsukawa teased, standing up and looking down at Hajime who glared at the middle-blocker.

"Ah ah. _Very_ funny. You're not _that_ tall! You're only eight centimeters taller than me! I'm still growing and eventually I'll get taller!"

"You're forgetting a detail, Iwa-chan," Oikawa intervened, lifting up a finger to prove his point, " _We_ are still growing as well. Every centimeter you grow to catch up to us, we're growing twice more~!"

Iwaizumi glared at him viciously, for once, Oikawa didn't get (too) scared because he knew he was right. Hanamaki and Matsukawa snickered behind until Umeko arrived.

"Oh my goodness, I can't believe I agreed to this. How big is it going to be?" She asked, pointing at the box with the tank.

"125cm long," he answered, dusting off the last things from his chest of drawers, "Matsukawa, you're ready?" He asked.

"Let's do this…"

After taking off the box, they lifted up the glass aquarium that would be the house of the bearded dragon. Then, they started putting up everything that would be needed for the pet: the proper lightning required; two thermometers to check the temperatures for a cool side of the tank, and a hot side; a humidity gauge… Once satisfied with the necessities, Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa gave their opinions on how to decorate the tank. There would be a reptile carpet, a big branch and a basket platform with a hole under it for the dragon to go hide when he felt the need.

"All right, it looks fine…" Hajime finally said.

"He's going to be a very happy bearded-dragon!" Oikawa exclaimed as he checked the rest of the boxes they had brought, "What's in–"

"NO!"

But Hajime's scream wasn't fast enough and Oikawa opened a little box – several crickets flew off, jumping around as he closed the box.

"Oops…"

"You're impossible, seriously!"

"You're going to feed it _living_ insects?! It's disgusting!" Hanamaki exclaimed, trying to catch one of the cricket.

"It's what young bearded-dragon eat most! And it's funnier for him if he can chases it around instead of crunching on a dry and dead insect!"

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation right now!"

After long minutes of chasing around, they got all the crickets that had escaped (they hoped, at least) then Hajime checked that the temperatures had all raised to the right one and the level of humidity wasn't too high, then he decided to go at the SPCA. Hanamaki and Matsukawa decided to go home – they had homework and a life, after all, and Monday was the only day during the week without practice. Oikawa remained behind but promised to come by to welcome the bearded-dragon so Iwaizumi went to the SPCA on his own. He was pretty sure the reason why Oikawa didn't come was because he knew Hajime wanted to do it on his own – it was _his_ choice, _his_ bearded-dragon (though he had a feeling the dragon have a lot of annoying uncles who would come watch over him).

Without much surprise, Kiku was at the entry when he arrived, she smiled to him.

"You came to get him?" She asked.

"Yeah, everything is ready," he answered, showing her the pictures he had taken to prove he had taken care of preparing the dragon's arrival.

She went to get Hayate and after a few check-ups and last verifications, he gave Hajime the papers to sign to gain ownership of the bearded-dragon.

"Don't forget to bring him to the veterinary as soon as you can. It's not an emergency but it's best to do it soon." He said, "So, what's the guy's little name?"

Kiku looked up curiously at Hajime who hesitated, watching the case written _"pet's name"_ where he should write his name.

"Um… it's a little embarrassing."

"Kiku called her birds _Barnaby_ and _Peppermint_ – you can't get more embarrassing than _that_." Hayate said with an amused smirk.

The young girl gave him an offended look but it made Hajime smile and he glanced quickly at the paper before looking up to answer:

"Godzilla."

Hayate smiled then wrote the name in his files in the same time Hajime was writing it down. Kiku looked up at Hajime with a huge smile on her face, eyes sparkling proudly.

"Then, come, let's go get Godzilla. I'll show you how to hold him and get him in and out of his tank."

After a few minutes showing how to handle the pet, Hayate let Hajime put him in the transport bag he had brought with him for Godzilla. He didn't seem much bothered by any of it but looked around curiously.

"I suppose you'll accompany him back home, Kiku?" Hayate said with a wink.

She flushed but nodded nevertheless. On their way home, Hajime kept watching the paper of ownership of Godzilla his bearded-dragon. Kiku didn't stop staring at him, sometimes glancing into the bag to make sure Godzilla was all right.

"Did you choose the name yourself, or was it the guys' influence?" She asked, remembering that everyone had assumed he'd call his pet bearded-dragon 'Godzilla'.

"Eeh… a little of both. I hadn't thought seriously about his name until Hanamaki asked me and as he said… it was an obvious answer." He explained.

"It suits him, right, Godzilla?" She continued, leaning down towards the bearded dragon.

He made a low, whining sound in agreement. When they arrived in the apartment, while Umeko greeted Kiku and they talked enthusiastically woman to woman, Hajime brought Godzilla into his new home. He walked around the tank, exploring the new territory – it was bigger than at the SPCA and he seemed to enjoy climbing around. By the time he had settled down on his platform, Kiku and Umeko had arrived.

"You'll have to take good care of him," Umeko said, observing with a smile the animal, "But don't count on me to feed him these insects. I am not touching a living insect in my _life_."

"We agreed dad would feed him when I'm away for training," he answered to which she nodded gratefully.

"I'll let you two take care of… what's his name? Godzilla? Why am I not surprised… Kiku, do you want to stay with us for dinner?" Umeko asked with a kind smile.

"Oh, I-I w-wouldn't… I-it's…"

"It would be our pleasure, don't worry," she continued.

"T-then… t-thank you very much…" She answered, flushing a little.

Hajime smiled to Kiku as Umeko left. Then his girlfriend bent down to get a bag she had taken with her and took out the clothes she had borrowed him the other night.

"It's all cleaned, thank you again for this amazing night." She said with a smile.

He flushed at the innuendo – which made her flush as well.

"I-I m-meant… t-the a-amazing _day!_ The amazing day _and_ night! I mean! _Everything!_ It was, um, lots of fun!" She exclaimed, trying to correct herself.

"Thanks… it made me very happy that you'd be here with me…" He answered, taking the clothes back before hesitating then handing her his shirt back, "You can keep it if you want."

"E-eh? B-but–"

"You said it was very comfortable, and I don't wear it anymore. I only keep it for sentimental value. It'll be more useful for you if you wear it…" He explained before slowly flushing.

Realizing he had given her one of his shirt with the hope she'd wear it, both blushed in embarrassment. But being given a shirt from Hajime, especially a shirt that had _sentimental value_ for him, made Kiku very happy. She smiled thankfully, taking back the shirt once again and promising herself she'd put it on tonight to sleep.

"S-should we… feed him or something?" Hajime asked when he noticed that Godzilla had settled and was watching them.

"He's already been fed twice today so just once again tonight for his meal. He eats a lot, though." Kiku explained.

"Thank you for being here…" He said as he reached for the boxes of insects.

"Y-you're w-welcome…"

He struggled a little with the (living) insects, but Godzilla had understood he'd be fed because he looked up impatiently.

"Here, let me show you," Kiku said, helping him out and giving him a few tips to make sure the crickets wouldn't go flying around.

They fed Godzilla for a few minutes, watching him go around and chase the food. Hajime smiled as well, reassured that everything was going on correctly.

"H-he looks happy, right?" He asked, turning towards Kiku hopefully.

"He is! He definitely is happy about his new home, especially with you!" She exclaimed, the Ace immediately reassured, "Thank you… for doing this for him. Giving him a home and love is… it's a lot. So, thank you for him." She continued, turning to him.

He smiled, looking back at the bearded-dragon. He thought back on the reasons why he had decided to adopt him: not only they got along well, which was nice, but Kiku had opened his eyes on what happened to so many pets and animals. If he could help just one… he'll be happy.

Oikawa arrived, with Takeru who was very excited to see a real-life baby Godzilla. He adored Iwaizumi, finding him a thousand times cooler than his uncle to Tooru's great sadness. At first Kiku felt a little awkward when the boy didn't even notice her but Takeru quickly looked at her, saw how close she was to Hajime then spoke without any filter:

"Are you Iwaizumi's girlfriend?" He asked loudly, making the couple flush.

"U-um, y-yes."

"You look kind! Nice to meet you!" He exclaimed before turning his attention back to the bearded-dragon.

"N-nice to m-meet you too…"

"Oi, Takeru! Don't look so closely! I can't see Godzilla!" Oikawa whined, pushing off his nephew.

"Shut up, Tooru! You'll get to see him every day!"

"Geh!"

"Are you sure Oikawa is the oldest of the two?" Kiku asked in a low voice her boyfriend who chuckled.

"Can I hold him?!" Takeru asked excitedly.

"Uuh…"

Hajime glanced quickly at Kiku who nodded, now that Godzilla had finished eating his dinner, he could be taken, as long as they were careful.

"Sit down and don't move too much," she told Takeru, patting the bed next to her while Hajime went to take his dragon in his arms, "He won't hurt you if you don't scare him and if I or Hajime is here."

The boy sat down obediently and Hajime put the bearded-dragon into his arms. Godzilla glanced around but upon seeing Kiku and Hajime, he seemed comfortable enough to remain in the boy's arms. Takeru's excitement was obvious from the way his eyes sparkled and his grin hurt his cheeks. Meanwhile, Oikawa took lots of pictures of his nephew and his friends with Godzilla. Being an _Oikawa_ , Takeru posed when he noticed his uncle taking the pictures.

"Can I hold him too?" Oikawa asked after a while.

"No!" Takeru answered, not wanting the pet to be away from _him_.

" _Takeru!"_

"Calm down, both of you," Kiku said when she noticed that their excitement was disturbing the bearded-dragon.

While still pouting, Tooru settled for just petting the dragon, jumping away when Godzila turned his head around at the touch. It made Hajime laugh a little to see his friend's reaction. After some more pictures and some time spent with Godzilla, Hajime put him back in his tank and Oikawa, uncle and nephew, left them just as Takashi arrived back from work. After getting changed and watching the bearded-dragon who watched him with tired eyes, probably thinking _"another one?",_ the Iwaizumi, and Kiku, had dinner. After talking for a while about the bearded-dragon, Hajime remained silent for most of the meal, considering his parents kept asking questions to Kiku – about school, her job at the SPCA… Well, rather, Umeko asked most questions to Kiku, while Takashi observed her reactions very closely, until she became a little too uncomfortable about his police officer-like behavior. It didn't escape Hajime and after a harsh look at his father, Takashi seemed to understand what he had been unconsciously doing and he changed behavior to be more joyful.

"I should get home," Kiku said at the end of the meal.

"Do you need a car ride?" Takashi proposed.

"It's fine, I'll walk her home," Hajime decided before she could answer.

"I could drive you _both_ back, unless… you want some time together?" He continued teasingly.

Kiku blushed while Hajime busied himself putting on his shoes.

"Well, then, go home safely, Kiku. And don't waste too much time outside, you have practice tomorrow morning, almost-kisser!" Takashi exclaimed, earning a long look from his wife.

Hajime ignored him, pushing Kiku outside the apartment to have some quiet.

"Why does he keep calling you 'almost-kisser'?" She asked curiously.

"Uuuh… long story…" He mumbled, flushing in embarrassment.

After a few minutes of walk, she reached for his hand and he realized he hadn't hold her hand since… eeh… last Friday. He squeezed it in apology, and she smiled as they arrived to her home. He sighed, wishing they had a little more time.

"Thank you again for dinner. Your mother's cooking is delicious," she said.

"You're welcome," he answered with a smile, "Thank you for being here for Godzilla and I."

"Don't hesitate to send me a message or call me if something goes wrong in the night. And don't forget to lower the temperature in his tank." She added.

"I know," he said with a nod.

They remained standing there awkwardly for a moment, not moving until he leaned down to kiss her cheek and wishing her goodnight. Kiku smiled but he pulled away and started walking away. She hid her disappointment to have had only a kiss on the cheek with a smile and wave.

Arrived home, after his bath, Hajime spent most of his time watching over Godzilla. Both were worried for their first night cohabiting: Godzilla was walking around, settling down then walking around again. Hajime kept watching over him for a long while. Phone vibrating, he glanced at it and saw that Kiku had sent him a picture. He smiled happily, staring for a long time at the picture she had sent him: in her bed, a happy smile and wearing the shirt he had given her for the night.

He took a few pictures of Godzilla he sent her then, after a few messages, he ended up falling asleep with his phone held against his heart.

 _The following day…_

"You look terrible, what happened to you?" Makki asked Hajime when they entered the changing-room.

"I stayed up late talking with Kiku… then I was woken up by Godzilla…" He mumbled as they filled in.

"So you _did_ call him 'Godzilla'!" Makki exclaimed.

"You adopted your pet bearded-dragon, Iwaizumi-san?" Kindaichi asked excitedly.

"Yeah, wanna see the pictures?"

He showed his phone to everyone who still hadn't seen Godzilla, no one was surprised by the pet's name.

"He's cute, right?" He said proudly.

"As cute a lizard go. He's got the face of a tiny dragon."

"He's still cute!"

"All I hear is Kiku claiming her love for her birds."

Hajime clicked his tongue, feeling like Hanamaki (and most of his teammates) didn't appreciate Godzilla enough. He was shoving picture one after another when they all froze, seeing the pictures Kiku had sent him the previous night. Flushing, he quickly pulled away his phone to keep shoving, ignoring their snickers and teasing gazes.

"Already sending each other's nightly pictures, Iwa-chan~?" Oikawa teased.

"I remember this shirt from KitaIchi… It was so cool!" Kindaichi exclaimed, breaking the silence.

"T-thanks…"

The others all snickered, finding the shirt their Ace had once worn very fitting with his character – but more ridiculous than cool. Only Kindaichi seemed to find it 'cool'.

"You gave it to Akiyama-san?" The first-year continued with a smile.

"Kindaichi, enough. Don't you see Iwaizumi-san is embarrassed? As he _ought_ to be…" Kunimi said with a discreet smirk.

"Oi!" The Ace exclaimed.

"As clever-tongued as usual, Kunimi-chan~!" Oikawa hummed.

Too embarrassed to face his teammates any longer, Iwaizumi went to his locker, quickly putting away his phone into his bag.

"How come you woke up in the night, though?" Matsukawa asked him, noticing the black bags under his eyes.

"…Godzilla started whining whenever I turned off the light. It took him hours to calm down."

"Didn't he have light in his tank?"

"He did, but he didn't like that I went to sleep. I think he wanted me to keep him company… I ended up falling asleep on the floor with all the lights on so I didn't sleep well…"

"I hope it won't happen again, we need you in top-shape, Iwa-chan." Oikawa continued, "Did you talk about it to Kiku-chan?"

"I didn't want to wake her up so… not yet…"

"It was to be expected anyway, it's the first time Godzilla is spending a night away from the SPCA, there is no other animal around and it's a new environment. I can't believe I just said 'Godzilla' to talk about a lizard pet. Why did you choose this name?" Makki continued, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

" _You're_ the one who said it'd be obvious."

"Which is why I thought you'd think of something else."

"It suits him."

"Does it?"

Iwaizumi decided to ignore him. The volleyball team went to the gymnasium where their coaches and manager were already here.

"Slept well, Akiyama?" Makki asked when he saw her.

She blinked, surprised he'd be the first one to greet her but smiled.

"Y-yes, and you?" She answered, looking at everyone.

"Perfect~!" Oikawa hummed, lifting up his fingers in a victory sign.

"And your pajamas? What was it? Sexy, comfortable? Anything we ought to know~?" Hanamaki continued with a smirk, making everyone snicker – except Kiku and Hajime.

She looked at him with wide, stunned eyes, not believing he had dared asking such a thing while the Vice-Captain was holding back the urge to smack him behind the head. Irihata and Mizoguchi sent the teenagers unimpressed gazes after hearing it all. Kiku finally turned towards Hajime who answered her silent question:

"Yeah… they know." He mumbled.

"Did you–"

"I didn't tell them. N-not intentionally. Slip of… tongue."

"Of finger, rather." Hanamaki corrected.

Irihata narrowed his eyes suspiciously, making the couple blush. Iwaizumi grabbed Hanamaki's jaw to shut him up before he'd make a real mistake in front of Kiku's uncle.

"Let's go running, shall we? We haven't had a real practice since Friday and we spent the week-end eating lots of junk food. Coach, let me handle the practice today!" Iwaizumi requested, an annoyed look on his face.

"…I don't want to know, do whatever you want." Irihata answered, turning away as everyone whined.

"Thanks, Makki…" Oikawa mumbled, shoulders down, as everyone followed their Ace, knowing that they'd end up with aching muscles and bones by the end of the day.

"The look on his face was worth it~"

More growls resonated, Kiku smiling to herself and knowing the gymnasium would be relatively quiet for the time they were off running. With their endless teasing, they had it coming – Iwaizumi would take his revenge by pushing them to their limits for today's practice. Oikawa had wanted to work on some attack patterns but she rescheduled it for the following day. If they survived until then.

On their way back to the classroom, Hajime told her about Godzilla's behavior the previous night and she reassured him, saying it was normal for an animal to feel a little worried when arriving in a new home. He stopped at the distributor to buy some cereal bars – he was hungry after the intense morning practice but after half an hour of History lesson, he ended up dozing off. Kiku woke him up later in the morning, for the biology class. And as expected, the afternoon practice was long and intense – with the heat of mid-June, it was even harder than usual.

"Good job, everyone!" Kiku said, distributing water bottles to the exhausted boys who were laying around, in the pools of their own sweat (and tears).

Only Iwaizumi and Hanamaki were still going, challenging each other with push-ups – but the Ace was obviously winning.

"You're going to hurt yourself if you don't rest a little," she told them as they continued counting for their push-ups.

They didn't listen to her, though. It was only when Hanamaki collapsed after reaching two-hundreds push-ups that Iwaizumi stopped as well, both breathing heavily.

"You'll never win, stop hurting yourself," Matsukawa told Hanamaki.

He weakly tried to punch him while Iwaizumi grinned proudly. Kiku, helped by a few courageous first-years, put away everything even if they had exhausted themselves more than played volleyball, but getting more muscles and working on their stamina was just as important as technique and skills. She glanced in the direction of Hajime as he wiped his forehead with a towel, sweat rolling off his body. The boys, ready to go take a shower, started pulling at their shirts, some even taking them off – and Hajime was one of them, putting the shirt on his shoulder as the group of third-years walked off. Kiku didn't stop staring, following them with her gaze, slowly blushing. Once they were gone, she shook her head and forced her body to move. It was definitely distracting.

When they exited the showers, towels around their waists, the third-years gathered, continuing the discussion they had started in the shower. Hajime checked his phone and saw a new message from Kiku, telling him she was going in town with Yuuna and Shinobu.

"You _are_ aware of the effect you have on Kiku-chan, don't you Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked while he was putting on his clothes.

"Eh?" He asked, turning to his friends.

They watched him, not surprised that he wouldn't be aware of it.

"Nevermind…" The setter mumbled before stretching his arms, "Eeeww… Iwa-chan, don't make us go such a hard training in the beginning of the week anymore~" He whined.

"Then stop annoying me in the beginning of the week," Iwaizumi answered, unimpressed.

"I'm surprised you're not asking us to stop annoying you _all_ the time," Hanamaki said with wide eyes.

"After three years, I know I can't be _too_ hopeful." He answered, making them snicker.

Once dressed and changing-room locked, they went to get ramen, Iwaizumi treating them after the intense training he had made them go through.

"Where's Kiku, by the way?" Mattsun asked, when he realized they weren't waiting for their manager.

"Already gone with the girls in town," Hajime answered.

"It reminds me, you haven't taken Kiku-chan out on a date, yet, right?" Oikawa asked.

They all glanced at Iwaizumi who blinked. He put down his bowl of ramen and thought back on the last events – the only time they could possibly go on a date would be on the week-end. Last week-end had been his birthday party, the following one he had an appointment at the veterinary for Godzilla and they needed to do their homework. Perhaps…

"I can't for this week-end but the following one I'll take her somewhere," he answered with a shrug, taking some more noodles.

"Where?" Makki asked curiously.

Iwaizumi looked at him, swallowing his mouthful of noodles then shrugged.

"Dunno, I'll see what she'll want to do."

"Don't take it so lightly, Iwa-chan! You need to show that you cherish her! You're the man, you're supposed to be the one organizing this sort of things!"

"She's better at organizing this sort of things than I could possibly be."

"You have to surprise her! Keep her interested!"

"Well, from the way she had stared at him earlier, I'm pretty sure she's still interested and won't lose interest for a long while," Mattsun commented.

"Still! Iwa-chan, you need to take Kiku-chan out on a _real_ date!" Oikawa exclaimed, slamming down his fists on the table.

It made too much noise and the lady turned around with narrowed eyes.

"Sorry," Iwaizumi apologized for his idiot of friend who smiled sheepishly.

She sighed then went back to giving the orders to her customers. Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa who looked away guiltily.

"I agree with Oikawa, just take her somewhere, take her hand and kiss her and she'll be happy. You don't have to sweat this sort of things with someone as good-hearted as Kiku." Matsukawa said.

"I… suppose."

After hearing his friends' advice, Iwaizumi started to think about the different options for taking Kiku out on a date. He waited the following week before asking her if she wanted to spend their Saturday together. She agreed happily. And he started stressing – he _had_ planned it all, but would it be enough? What if something didn't go as planned? It was why he disliked planning so much, he couldn't help but overthink it all.

 _Saturday morning…_

When Hajime woke up, he pulled open his curtains, blinking away sleep. He was getting ready for a quick run to clear his mind before preparing himself to go on his first date with Kiku. When he came out of the building, he heard a sharp cry and turned around. He narrowed his eyes at the crow observing him. Hajime swallowed then quickly looked away. He wasn't stupid enough to think of it as a bad omen, he was more rational than that.

He wouldn't let one glance with a crow get to his head and–

Hajime gasped when he tripped over his own feet, he caught himself before he'd fall face on the dirt but he looked down and realized he had stepped on his shoelaces.

"…It means nothing…" He mumbled as he made them again, tight this time.

He heard the crow caw then fly away. He glanced up and noticed that the sky was darkening, heavy clouds arriving.

"It means _nothing_." He repeated to himself, going for his run.

There was no need for a bright sky for what he had planned – and Kiku was his sun. He didn't have to worry for _anything_.

* * *

 _Don't worry, there won't be much drama! ;) It'll be more of a misunderstanding and bad lluck day!_

 _The perks of having a pet! The first night with my kitten I didn't sleep at all because HE was too excited and played with his new toys all night long and I was too worried to leave him alone..._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : STORMY HEARTS (Didn't I already use this chapter title somewhere...?)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	43. Stormy Hearts

_Here is the new chapter! Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited! :D_

 _I FORGOT LAST CHAPTER BECAUSE I DIDN4T REALIZE IT IN TIME BUT THANK YOU FOR OVER 400 REVIEWS! :D I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! :D_

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well! :)_

 _ **Krisia** : Ahah, you'll see how things turn out~! ;)_

 _ **Aquafin** : There's no more suitable name for a bearded-dragon than Godzilla (I'd personally use he name of a famous dragon, like Smaug, or Daenary's dragons...but well, that's me XD) _

_**pinkdoughtnuts** : You really want Kuroo and Oikawa's stories, don't you? I'm trying to finish Sowlmates and Quiet Voice as soon as possible but there are a few more arcs to write so... you'll have to be a little bit more patient, sorry! _

_**Leja** : Thank you for your review and honesty but there are several tings I must answer to after your review. Firstly, I can't help but disagree with your words. Adoption IS a huge deal, abuse is a huge deal whether it comes from your birth parents or not. You're right I probably already met someone who was adopted who didn't make a huge deal out of it, but usually people don't scream from the rooftops "I'm adopted" or "I'm abused by my family" or "I suffer from severe ptsd and depression and anxiety issues" becaue that's not something that's easily shared (look at Kiku, no one knew she was adopted until it was shared). Just because people don't talk about it doesn't mean the hurt and pain aren't here - and i believe it's important for victims of abuse, or the aodpted children, to feel like they CAN open up about their hurt but by saying "it's not a big deal" it' refusing to acknowledge their feelings. Secondly, everyone reacts differently by this sort of traumatic experience - adoption, abuse, etc. not everyone is going to deal with it the same way. Some people will get over it, some will be haunted by it, some might deal with the idea of being adopted, some will wonder their wholes liveswhere they come from and whhy they were abandoned... Thirdly, despite what you seem to think I didn't use adoption and abuse against children with the intent of 'insulting" anyone.A negative connotation? How is adoption and abuse positive in ANY way? Of course it'd have a negative connotation because it's not something good that makes someone's life turn into rainbows and meadows of unicorns. If you felt insulted by the way I wrote these topics, I apologize because I had no intention to wrong you or anyone. My only intention was to make people aware of a part of our society that gives up babies, that let adopted children wander without any proper guidance and the abuse of children (adopted or not) that's more common than we'd like to think. One last thing about your review and don't take it the wrong way because I get that you're being helpful but I don't see how my writing is "shallow" - over the top, full of clichés and stuff I could avoid if I wanted to finish the story faster and to make it better but I write fanfictions only half-seriously but the half that I take seriously I'm pretty sure it's not "shallow". Thank you for your review, I hope you'll see this answer so you can understand my point of view. :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XLIII : Stormy Hearts

" _Your mind can be a convincing liar."_

— **Unknown**

" _Insecurity is the worst sense that lovers feel… Insecurity twists meanings and poisons trust."_

— **Graham Greene, The End of the Affair**

" _I saw you at your worst and still thought you were the best."_

— **Anonymous**

" _Care, because it is what you do. Care, and be vibrantly alive."_

— **Ralph Marston**

" _I hope you find someone who knows how to love you when you are sad."_

— **Nikita Gill**

" _I'll always care for you."_

— **Bruce Adler**

" _You're too sweet, I can't tell you how sweet I think you are."_

— **Marcel Proust**

" _When I talk to you I am happy. Because you listen, and my words find a home."_

— **Edmond Jabès, The Book of Questions Volumes 2 and 3**

" _I'll kiss you softly to wash away your pain, and then hard enough to make you forget everything but my name."_

— **Unknown**

" _Wait for someone who bumps mouths clumsily with yours cos they're too busy smiling to kiss you properly._ Yeah. Wait for that."

— **Azra Tabassum**

Kiku checked herself in the mirror before whipping around, showing her make-up and outfit to Yuuna who was sitting on her bed.

"How do I look?" Kiku asked nervously.

Yuuna looked her up and down, flushing a little before answering with glossy eyes:

"Y-you look beautiful…" She said in a hushed voice.

Kiku flushed, smiling happily before looking back at her mirror, pulling a little at her hair to make sure it'd stay as she wished.

"I hope Hajime will think so too…" She said, her smile unwavering.

Yuuna glanced at her once again, her heart squeezing painfully. Her attention was brought on Kyuupid who climbed on her thigh. Pip and Birb were playing around as well, while Kiku was getting dressed and making sure she was perfect for her first date with Hajime. Yuuna thought that if he really liked her, he wouldn't want her to be particularly pretty, he'd find her pretty no matter what she wore, but Kiku kept repeating that he didn't ask anything of her and she just wanted to be pretty for him, a nice surprise or something.

A sudden gust of wind made Yuuna's hair fly around and she glanced over her shoulder, at the open window, while Kiku caught a few papers that flew around.

"…Are you sure it's a good idea to go out today?" Yuuna asked worriedly, seeing the sky darkening with heavy clouds, wind starting to shake the trees.

"Hajime said it'd be inside, so we'll be fine! In the worst case scenario, we'll be stuck in a café for hours~!"

"And that's just what you want, isn't it?" Yuuna continued with a knowing, teasing smile.

Kiku flushed a little but didn't deny it. Yuuna furrowed her brows, worry filling:

"Y-you're being safe, right?"

"I'll be with Hajime, he'll keep me safe," she answered with a smile.

"That's… not what I meant…" Yuuna hesitated.

It took a short moment for Kiku to understand. She gasped and blushed, unable to meet her friend's gaze:

"W-we're not…"

"But… you'll stay safe, okay? Promise me!"

"D-don't worry! We're not doing anything!" Kiku exclaimed, too embarrassed to talk about this particular topic.

"But you'll have to be safe when you'll start getting all… touchy-feely…!"

Yuuna felt sick just thinking of this disgusting man touching _her_ Kiku intimately, or even seeing her without her clothes on. But she also knew that eventually, it was what would happen…

"W-we didn't talk about it yet b-but don't worry…!"

"You didn't even _talk_ about it?! What are you waiting for?!" She exclaimed.

"We've been dating for only…! Only a few weeks! We didn't even have time to do anything! I… I don't even know if he _wants_ to do anything with me, so…"

Kiku looked down, worry filling her eyes as she held her dress tightly. She didn't want to let her insecurities and fear doubt of Hajime but… but…

Now feeling guilty, Yuuna glanced down at Kyuupid, absentmindedly petting him. She sighed then looked back at Kiku:

"You're beautiful. He's going to fall even more in love with you when he'll see you." She said with a smile even if it broke her heart.

Kiku smiled back, reassured. She took a deep breath then clapped her hands:

"I should start going! I don't want to be late! Thanks for helping me out choose my dress, Yuuna! Pip, Birb and Kyuu, you're being nice! I'll tell mom to come put you back in your cages!"

Pip squealed a happy _"Yes! Yes!"_ and after making sure she had everything, Kiku went downstairs, impatient to see her Hajime. Yuuna left her at the train station, then they went their own ways. Kiku almost bounced off her seat in impatience and as soon as she arrived at the train station that Hajime had indicated to her, she walked to the nearby park and went to wait under the big tree on the hill. She checked her phone – she was over thirty minutes in advance.

She didn't mind the wind, even as it blew stronger and stronger until she had to hold onto her dress to keep it from flying. It was right around the time they had agreed on – she hoped the rain wouldn't start falling until he arrived. She didn't want to be soaked for their date…

Five minutes, ten minutes, _fifteen_ …

Leaning against the tree, she looked up when a thin rain started falling. Thankfully, she was safe and sound under the tree as long as it didn't get any worse. Checking the time, she swallowed hard.

"What are you doing… where are you, Hajime…?" She mumbled, staring at her phone.

She saw the minutes tick by, but no message came. She sent him a message, expecting a quick answer as he usually did… but no answer. Now, instead of waiting for him to come, she waited for his message…

Five minutes, ten minutes, _fifteen_ …

The rain had accelerated, getting heavier, the wind was blowing stronger. The storm was growing wilder, just as Kiku's heart sank more and more.

Not expecting any answer, not anymore after waiting for so long for Hajime when he obviously wouldn't come and didn't care enough to warn her, she felt stupid and broken-hearted. She didn't understand why she had hoped that someone like _her_ would interest someone like _him_. Hajime might have fallen in love with her but these were just words. They might be dating but it was just an appearance. He barely held her hand, or kissed her, he hadn't showed any interest in her. He had probably forgotten about their date, or about her, or he had found something else to do…

Now soaked from the heavy rain, trembling from the wind freezing her limbs, Kiku didn't move from under the tree despite the storm. She didn't care anymore about getting soaked, or if her make-up was ruined. It wasn't even the rain that had ruined her make-up. It was her quiet tears.

She hated herself for believing in Hajime, for thinking so foolishly that he'd go as far as having a _date_ with her. This whole thing – falling in love with her, dating her… it must have been one big joke. He _was_ Hanamaki's friend, after all. Now that he had had his fun, he's going to reveal the whole thing at the high-school and she'll be mocked by everyone for _thinking_ Iwaizumi Hajime had been serious. She was such an idiot…

She pushed herself off the tree and slowly made her way away from the park, trying to keep her tears at bay to not make even _more_ a fool of herself in town. She'll just go straight home, try to avoid her parents and cry her heart out in her pillow. There was no point in staying in the storm, being miserable…

"Hurry up, Kindaichi!"

She didn't even recognize the voice or heard the _'Kindaichi'_ that someone bumped into her. Kiku tripped forward and whether it was her broken heart, the slippery sidewalk or the violent wind, she fell on her knees. The person who had bumped into her immediately turned around:

"I'm sorr– Akiyama… senpai?"

"Akiyama-senpai?!"

Kiku looked up, seeing Kunimi and Kindaichi looking down at her, stunned to see her here… soaked and alone… Though, they were just as soaked from being surprised by the storm as well.

"I thought you were supposed to go on your date with Iwaizumi-san? Why aren't you–"

A sudden gulf of wind made a branch fly over their heads, Kindaichi's voice trailing off in a squeal of surprise and Kunimi took matters in his hands when he realized that Akiyama-senpai was not feeling well and they were in possible danger:

"Let's go somewhere safe," he said, helping up Akiyama.

All three went under a bus stop that felt relatively safe. They would still receive the rain, but they were already dripping so it didn't really matter.

"What happened, Akiyama-senpai?" Kindaichi asked, his hair flopping down a little from the rain.

"…Nothing." She answered, glancing away, not wanting to deal with her kouhais at the moment.

Kindaichi and Kunimi glanced at each other.

"You were supposed to go on your date with Iwaizumi-san, where is he?" Kunimi asked.

"…I don't know…" She answered in a tiny voice, shoulders shaking.

"What if something happened to him?! We should call the police! Oikawa-san!" Kindaichi exclaimed, starting to panic.

"Kindaichi, calm down," Kunimi told him, narrowing his eyes.

They glanced back at Akiyama who kept her head turned away, stubbornly, to not show them her tears. She wiped away the tears that had rolled down her cheeks despite her will. Not knowing what to do, the two first-years glanced at each other, at a loss at what to do with a crying woman.

"Let's try to contact Iwaizumi-san or Oikawa-san, they probably know–"

Kunimi turned around when Kiku walked away without another glance their way.

"Wait! Akiyama-senpai! You shouldn't…"

His voice trailed and he kept his lips thin then glanced back at Kindaichi who was fumbling his fingers nervously.

"What do we do?" He asked.

"We call Oikawa-san and tell him what just happened…" Kunimi sighed, taking out his phone from his pocket.

"I hope nothing bad has happened to Iwaizumi-san… He was so excited to go on his date with Akiyama-senpai…" Kindaichi murmured to himself.

"She probably thought he dumped her." Kunimi said, rolling lightly his eyes, making Kindaichi look frightened at the idea that Iwaizumi and Akiyama might have an argument and _worse_ break up because of this story.

One thing was certain: Iwaizumi wouldn't have left Akiyama alone if he didn't have a good reason. He certainty would warn her. If he didn't, it meant something must have happened…

 _Some time ago, in the Iwaizumi apartment…_

Hajime was running around. He was late. The _one_ day he had to be ready in time and he was _late!_ He had come back from his running just in time to take a shower and get ready but just when he was about to go out to be a little in advance, the tap of the bathroom had a problem. He had to fix it hurriedly, as fast as possible, but because he was covered in water, he changed clothes and now _he was late!_

"You're not doing anything bad, Godzilla! I'll be back–"

Hajime stopped and glanced at his bearded dragon… Godzilla was laying on his side, eyes half-closed and twitching occasionally. Suddenly worried, Hajime took off the lid of the aquarium and checked on him but the more he tried to reassure himself, he more he realized he had no idea what was happening. He had never seen Godzilla acting this way, but he could tell it was definitely not good.

"Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck…" He mumbled to himself.

He stopped and tried to take the most responsible decision – his parents were at works, which meant no answering the phone. Perhaps Hayate– no, it'd be a loss of time. Deciding to go to the veterinary before it was too late, Hajime sent a quick message to Kiku, threw his phone on a side then looked for the bag to transport Godzilla. He put him in carefully, checked twice he had his wallet and keys then hurried out of the apartment, not realizing he had forgotten to take his phone with him.

He hurried to the veterinary, it wasn't _close_ but it was close enough for an emergency. When he entered, in panic, the veterinary assistant calmed him down, doing a first check-up on the bearded-dragon.

"He doesn't seem to be in immediate danger. Considering you don't have an appointment I'm afraid you'll have to wait for the doctor to be done with his current appointment." She told him.

"I-it's fine…" He answered with a nod, reassured that Godzilla's life wasn't threatened.

He reached for his phone before cursing to himself, biting down on his lower lip. He wanted to send another message to Kiku to warn her of how things were going but he must have forgotten it. He just hoped she had understood that it was an emergency and wouldn't wait for him too long… Outside, the weather only worsened and with it, his panic for Godzilla and at how Kiku must have been feeling at the moment. He had sent her a message but it hadn't been very explicit and it might be just more worry.

But at the moment he had no choice but to wait for the veterinarian to take care of Godzilla.

"Hypocalcemia," he said long minutes later after examining Godzilla.

"What?" Hajime asked with wide eyes.

"Hypocalcemia occurs when there are low levels of calcium in a bearded dragon's blood. Low levels of calcium can result in twitching muscles, or seizures like you saw. Hypocalcemia is most often seen in young bearded dragons, as they are slightly more fragile than adults. But not to worry, I'll give you the indication for his diet to make sure it doesn't happen again." He said with a reassuring smile for the young man.

"T-thank you…"

After receiving all the advices, he took Godzilla back home. He made sure his bearded-dragon was safe and sound, he already seemed to feel better but he wasn't sure if he could go right now or should wait to make sure Godzilla was fine – if only someone was at home so he could–

"Iwa-chan!"

Hajime startled when he heard Oikawa's voice, hurried steps coming straight for his bedroom. The setter flung open the door then stared at him with big, wide eyes:

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?!" He screamed.

" _I_ should be the one saying that! Why did you come in like that?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

"Kiku-chan! Your date! What–!"

Suddenly reminded that he had his date with Kiku – well, he was way too late for any date to happen but he had been so focused on Godzilla that he had forgotten to send a message to Kiku to update her on Godzilla.

"Kiku! I need to send her a message!" He exclaimed, looking around for his phone but it was out of view.

"I just received a call from Kindaichi and Kunimi, Kiku-chan was–"

"Call me! I can't find my phone!" He exclaimed, cutting him.

"Are you listening?!"

"Just call me, Trashykawa!"

Oikawa did as asked and explained what he had heard from Kunimi and Kindaichi while Iwaizumi, who heard the buzzing sound of his phone, looked for it frenetically.

"They told me that they met Kiku-chan in town, that she was crying and was soaked from the rain! Why would you leave her alone without any warning, Iwa-chan?!"

"Eh?! What are you talking about – I sent her a message!" He exclaimed, just as he finally found his phone.

He unlocked it and his eyes widened. He had received several messages and phone calls from Kiku – from impatient, to worry to desperate…

"No…" He whispered, "No, no, no! I'm certain I sent her a message to warn her I had to go to the veterinarian for Godzilla! An emergency!"

"You mean… the message _I_ received a few hours ago?!" Oikawa exclaimed with wide eyes.

Iwaizumi glanced at him, panicked then quickly opened his last message… He closed his eyes, clenching tightly his phone. In his panic he had opened the first message tab to warn Kiku – but the last message he had sent had been to _Oikawa_ … If only he had checked the name, if only he had–

Angry at himself, he threw his phone on his bed, clenching his hair and covering his face in panic, not knowing what to do anymore. Quickly understanding the situation, Oikawa spoke up:

"Calm down, Iwa-chan! What is done is done, you should tell Kiku what happened and try to find her! With luck she went home directly – if not, she's in the rain, all alone and she thinks you dumped her!" He instructed, taking his friend's phone and forcing it into his hands.

"I would never do that to her!"

"Don't forget that she spent years being mistreated and she doesn't trust people easily – she might just… have let her fears and apprehension fill her mind. Warn her, tell her what happened! I'm sure she'll understand!" Oikawa said, pushing the phone towards Iwaizumi's chest.

"S-someone has to watch over Godzilla–"

"I'll do it! Just go!" Oikawa exclaimed, pushing him out of the room.

Too panicked to thank him, Iwaizumi went off in the rain, sending dozens of messages to Kiku, trying to call her but she didn't answer. The last people who had seen her were Kunimi and Kindaichi, in town, near the park where they had been supposed to meet. He went there first but with the rain and violent wind, he couldn't find her. He ran around the neighborhood, asking the people he ran by if they had seen someone fitting Kiku's description, then going into shops and cafés to try to find her, hoping she had taken refuge somewhere safe. The rain only got worse, the wind stronger – he didn't want to imagine her outside in this weather when she felt betrayed by him…!

If only he had checked the name of the person he was messaging! If only he hadn't forgotten his phone at home! If only…! _If only!_

After running through the entire neighborhood he went back into the ones close to Seijou, and ran directly to the Akiyama Bakery, hoping she had gone home instead of wandering around. He ignored the bakery and knocked at the back door, breathing hard after all his running. No answer, he continued knocking until he was almost pounding his fist against the door. Finally, it opened and Nanami stared at him with wide, shocked eyes:

"Haji–"

"Where is Kiku?! Is she here?!" He asked at once, water drops rolling off his face from the rain.

He was completely soaked but he didn't care, he just wanted to know if Kiku was safe.

Nanami suddenly looked annoyed and crossed her arms over her chest:

"She's here, she's all right. Well, as much as she can be at the moment." She answered sharply.

Hajime startled guiltily and stepped forward:

"Let me see her, let me explain, I–"

He didn't finish his sentence that running steps resonated in the stairs behind Nanami, she barely had time to look over her shoulder that Kiku appeared, looking panicked, hair still wet from the rain.

"Is he found–"

She froze when she saw Hajime in the doorway. She stared at him, tears filling her reddened eyes. Hajime's heart sank, his stomach knotted, he felt terrible for doing such a thing to Kiku. If only…!

"Kiku– I can explain _everything!_ Please, let me–"

She looked away from him, and this quiet rejection cut deeper than knives in his heart. He swallowed hard, stepping forward once again but Nanami stopped him with her arm:

"You should go home," she told him calmly.

"Kiku! _Please_ , I sent you messages to explain! I'm so sorry! I wanted to warn you, I swear! But–"

"I know. I received your messages." She said sharply, looking away from him.

"T-then I… I… I'm so sorry… you have no idea how terrible I feel for doing this to you…" He whispered, staring at her with panicked, green eyes, "Please, Kiku… I'm… I'm sorry…"

She hesitated, glancing quickly at her mother and silently telling her that it was fine. Nanami sighed, sent a hard look at Hajime then turned around but didn't leave, just leaving enough space for the teenagers to discuss quickly. Kiku went to the door but didn't let Hajime in, even if he was taking all the rain and the wind but he didn't care.

"I'm so sorry, I–"

"I… I know…" She answered, looking down, "How is… Godzilla?" She asked.

"…He'll be fine."

More tears filled her eyes and her throat was knotted, she glanced away, heart squeezing painfully.

"I… I'm glad but… I think you should leave…" She murmured in a trembling voice.

"If it's because I–"

"It's _not_ you but… you _…_ I felt betrayed and you broke my heart but by the time I received your messages… something else, something _terrible_ had happened a-and I'm stuck in here and can do nothing so please… _leave_."

She was about to close the door but his hand stopped it, blocking the door. Kiku looked up, stunned by his action, but he looked as desperate as her, for different reasons…

"Can I help? Can I do anything?" He asked worriedly, understanding that _he_ wasn't the one who had made her cry so much (even if he had, unfortunately, participated to her feeling so down).

Kiku's lips trembled and more tears appeared in her eyes, she quickly wiped the tears away but before he could take her in his arms to comfort her, Nanami appeared and surrounded her daughter's shoulders with her arms.

"There's nothing that can be done in this storm, thank you but you should leave, Hajime. Especially after leaving her alone without any warning in the cold, harsh rain during a storm." She said accusingly.

He opened his lips but Kiku interrupted her mother:

"It wasn't his fault…"

"He should have warned you. I'm sorry for what happened to Birb but you can't go outside in this storm Kiku–"

"Birb? You mean Barnaby? Your bird, what happened?" Hajime asked, looking between mother and daughter.

Nanami hesitated while Kiku trembled, then covered her face to hide her tears.

"H-he's g-gone…!" She said in a broken, smothered voice.

Hajime's heart sank, realizing that the reason why she looked so broken was because her bird was gone… Because of his own stupidity and clumsiness, he couldn't warn her in time and she got broken-hearted, thinking he had betrayed her. And when she arrived home it was to find out that her bird _was_ …

"I… I'm…"

He wanted to apologize but before he could say anything, Kiku shook her head and turned around, going back into the house. He wanted to call her name but he had no idea what he'd say or do… he couldn't even comfort her after what he had done.

Nanami watched Kiku leave then turned back towards the high-schooler:

"Birb likes to stay on the windowsill, it happened a few times that he'd fall off but he would always stay nearby. He knows how to open the cage on his own. I… I forgot to check the window of Kiku's room, it was open and with this storm…"

She looked down guiltily, shaking her head:

"He can't fly, with this wind he was flown away and a cat or another animal probably caught him already… Kiku tried to look for him but we couldn't find him and after staying almost an hour in the rain waiting for you… she has a fragile health, I don't want her sick and–"

"It's… I understand…" He said with a nod, shaken up and sad for Kiku.

Nanami hesitated before speaking up again:

"You should go home, with this storm, it's not safe to stay out for too long."

She closed the door and he stared at it for a little while, the wind blowing furiously and the rain drops so cold it felt like tiny ice daggers hitting his skin. He turned around, slowly walking away before he glanced up at the window of Kiku's room. The curtains were pulled close. If Birb had been at the windowsill when the wind had pushed him outside, he must have fallen nearby. He was an intelligent bird, knowing it'd be risky to go away from the house. Nanami said so herself.

Not quite knowing why he'd do that when the storm was raging, Hajime started to look around but there was no sign of the bird, no feather, no bush for him to hide… There was no blood, which might be a good sign but with the rain it meant nothing.

He started to advance, glancing around and looking for a green bird with a bad character. He refused to believe he had been caught and killed by an animal – it'd break Kiku. Fists clenched together, he looked around for a long time, not quite knowing how long went by. Bushes, under cars, nearby houses and possible hideouts… he looked everywhere for hours. He ignored the wind pushing him around, or his clothes so soaked by the rain that he could feel the cold dampness get into his skin.

"Birb! Barnaby!" He called, turning around in the middle of the street.

He passed his hands through his spiky, wet hair, lips thin and brows furrowed.

"Come on, Birb! Answer!" He screamed, trying to cover the wind, "Come on… Kiku needs you…" He continued, in a voice so low he barely heard himself.

He closed his eyes tightly. He knew he couldn't comfort Kiku and the chances of finding Birb in this storm, after all this time, if he was even still alive were thin… but… but after breaking her heart, making her think he didn't like her, after dumping her… He couldn't give up on the one thing that gave her hope. When he saw her she had been so desperate, so sad, her eyes red from crying too much – and it wasn't because of him, not entirely, all of her tears had been for Birb. The guilt she must feel, imagining her bird out there, in the cold rain, pushed around by the wind, calling for her…

Unlike Nanami, Kiku hadn't given up hope Birb was alive and could be found… When she had heard someone at the door, she ran down the stairs, hoping someone had found Barnaby. Her reaction upon seeing it was Hajime and not Birb wasn't the sadness caused by his incompetence as a boyfriend – it was the disappointment that it wasn't her bird…

" _I'm stuck in here and can do nothing."_

If Nanami wasn't keeping Kiku into the house to keep her from getting sick, if Kiku hadn't spent hours under the rain waiting or him, she would probably be out there, ignoring the storm to find her bird…

"Barnaby! BIRB!" He continued calling, walking around and still hoping he could go back to Kiku with Birb.

He spent so much time looking for the bird that as soon as he'd see something greenish, he'd try to jump on it – just branch and leaves, not Barnaby. In between calls, he'd hold his breath and he'd think he had heard a little squealing – but it was just the wind whistling. He'd see something move from the corner of his eyes but it was just something flying around because of the storm.

"BIRB!"

He froze when he heard a little, squealing sound. It was different from everything he had heard until now – it was high-pitched, tiny, almost… frightened. He was away from the Akiyama house, but not _that_ far away. A reasonable distance for a bird that couldn't fly stuck in a storm. Hajime started looking around but no sight of the bird.

"Birb! Barnaby?!" He called, turning around.

Once again he heard the tiny, squealing sound. He searched for where it had come from. He went to push away the bushes at the bottom of a tree but no bird. His hand reached out and he grabbed a bright green feather that had been stuck in the bush… He only knew _one_ bird with such a vivid shade of green. He looked around and then up…

"Birb?" He called, standing up.

A hole in the tree trunk, a little move and something green appeared.

"Birb! How the hell did you get up there?!" He exclaimed, putting the feather in his jacket pocket, "Come on! Come here!" He shouted, lifting up his arms.

He wasn't tall enough to reach the hole and if Barnaby looked down at him, the moment the wind shook the tree, he hid once again, too frightened to jump down in the storm and towards someone he didn't even like. If it wasn't Kiku he would not go down at all…!

"Come on! I know you don't like me but Kiku is waiting for you! Come down here!" He shouted, thinking that the neighbors will think him crazy for shouting at a tree in the middle of the storm.

He wondered if he should go to the bakery to tell Kiku, but Birb was so scared, he wasn't sure it was a good idea. Nanami might not even let him see Kiku after what he had done to her…

Fists clenching, he tried to reach for Birb, to climb on the tree but he didn't have enough height or anything to hold on long enough to get Birb out of his hiding hole. Hajime cursed before stepping away to get some momentum, then he ran and jumped. He didn't try to reach for the hole, knowing he'd just slip off the tree trunk and land on his behind so he grabbed the nearest branches, big enough to support him (he hoped). He raised himself like he used to do when he was a child and with an uneasy balance on the branch and against the tree trunk, he bent down a little to try and grab the bird. Now that he was up-there he realized it was much higher than he had thought, that the branch didn't seem quite as solid as down there (especially with this crazy wind shaking him around) and his hold wasn't good.

"Cicadas I'd catch up in the trees…! These are easy to get, one net and it's easily done!" He mumbled to himself while he tried to get the right position to catch Birb, "Come on, Barnaby! Get out of here! It's me, Hajime! The guy you hate because I'm dating your mommy!"

He managed to get his hand into the hole but Birb bit him several times until he managed to get a hold of the bird. Not wanting to hurt him despite his growing annoyance against the stubborn, frightened animal, Hajime slowly let go of his hold on the tree trunk. Using his thighs and abs to not fall off the branch, he managed with his two hands to get Birb safely out of his hole. The bird didn't stop squealing and whining, biting hard on his hands but he didn't let go as he straightened up on the branch. The wind kept shaking them and he held the bird close to his chest, trying to give him some human warmth and comfort. Slowly… Birb calmed down and stopped trying to bite him to death.

Hajime sighed in relief and moved a little to get off the branch but his sudden move, his weight and the wind were _not_ a good mix. He heard a cracking sound, freezing as Birb looked up at him with an annoyed expression as if saying _"really?! You couldn't choose a BETTER branch to hang on?!"_ and suddenly, it broke off. He cried out and before he knew it, he landed on the hard ground. Air expulsed from his lungs, he gasped and it took Hajime a moment to be aware of his surroundings once again – and it was thanks to Barnaby.

The bird, that he had kept in his hands and against his chest to protect him from the fall, moved in panic as the wind shook his feathers. Hajime relaxed his hold onto him, Birb standing on top of his chest while trying not to get blown away by the wind.

" _You_ … you owe me one, got it?" He mumbled, frowning at the bird.

Barnaby bit his hand, making him clench his jaws to not scream at the sharp pain. He stood up, not letting go of the bird. Birb didn't bite him and remained safely wrapped in his jacket he had taken off to protect the bird and not hurt him by accident. Hajime made his way back to the bakery, all the while whispering to the bird to reassure him. Though, when Birb squealed, he sounded more annoyed than grateful.

Kiku was sitting on her bed, trying to hold back her panicked flow of tears while she heard the wind blow outside. Hearing a sharp, squealing sound, she looked up, seeing Pip who kept calling her and tilting his head on a side, asking her where his friend was… Even Kyuu was staring at her from his cage… More tears filled her eyes when a loud banging at the door downstairs made her stand up, hope filling her heart. She ran, beating her mother to the door, almost falling down the stairs and flinging open the door, hoping that whoever had come would have found Birb.

Kiku stopped breathing when she saw Hajime standing there, soaking wet, covered in scratches and mud, keeping his arms close to his chest… He looked up silently and he pulled at the jacket gathered in his arms and she saw a familiar bird looking up at her and squealing happily.

Her heart exploded in happiness, sobs of relief escaping her lips as she wiped away the tears of joy. She opened the door wider, letting Hajime enter while Nanami stared at the scene from afar. He took off his shoes while Kiku took his jacket and Barnaby, running upstairs to have a better look at him. Hajime hesitated at following her, glancing at Nanami warily but when she turned around and went back into the kitchen, he took it as a sign that he could enter. He found Kiku in her room, his jacket on a side as she was examining Birb. He was so happy to see his mommy again he didn't stop squealing. She checked his wings, his feathers, making sure he wasn't injured but by some miracle, he only had ruffled feathers.

"You scared me _so much,_ Birb! What were you thinking going on the window when there's a storm going on! You could have died, do you realize that?!" She scolded, doting over him like a child.

He squealed, too relieved to form words, or maybe he didn't know words expressing his happiness to see his mommy again after all of his fears. Kiku's fears had been washed away the moment relief had hit her, when she had seen her Birb safe and sound. Now certain he was fine, except for some wet feathers, she wiped away the tears that didn't stop flooding. She looked up, seeing Hajime standing at the doorway, a little awkwardly but a soft smile on his face just to see her smile again… If he had to see tears fall from her eyes, he'd rather see tears of joy than sadness.

Realizing she had caught him staring, Hajime glanced away with a flush, still feeling terrible for what had happened earlier. Kiku sniffed and stood up, Birb going on her forearm then she left him in his cage.

"Thank you…" She said with a tight voice, turning towards Hajime.

She took in his appearance – he was soaking wet, he was shaking from the cold even if he didn't seem to realize that and he was bleeding at his hands and had a bad-looking scratch at his face.

"It's nothing… When your mother told me what had happened to Birb, I couldn't… do nothing…" He answered with a shrug, putting his hands in his back when he noticed her staring worriedly.

"…Come with me…" She told him, grabbing his elbow and dragging him into the bathroom to take care of his injuries, "I-I'll go get a towel and some clothes… you're going to catch a cold…" She said, disappearing for a short moment.

When she was back, she left him alone, giving him time to dry himself and put on the clothes she had given him. They were big enough for him but not big enough to be her father's.

"Whose clothes are these?" He asked curiously when she took his clothes to clean and dry them.

"Nobuteru's son's." She answered, disappearing once again for a few minutes.

He didn't even know coach had a son. It felt a little weird wearing these clothes so he tried not to think of it. Thankfully, he was distracted when Kiku came back with a first-aid kit, making him sit on the bathtub's side while she took care of him.

"I'm fine, really–"

He hissed when she took his hands and applied a cotton imbibed with antiseptic, the stinging pain startling him. She glanced at him guiltily then looked back at what she was doing.

"Sorry…"

She kept his hands against her palm and delicately applied the cotton. Hajime relaxed then looked at her face. Her eyes and nose were still red from crying so much but she definitely looked relieved now that Birb was back…

"I-I'm sorry Birb was so rude to you, biting you so much…" She murmured, seeing all the various little biting marks.

"It's fine, he was scared and he doesn't like me. We can't doubt that birds are the closest beings to dinosaurs, uh?" He said, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

It worked and she smiled, a little amused, which made his heart go wild.

"I hope it won't have any influence on your playing…" She continued, brows furrowed.

"My hands might be numb for a day or two, but by Tuesday, I'll be fine. It bled a bit but it's not deep." Hajime answered, clenching and unclenching his fingers.

Now done with the antiseptic, Kiku covered his hands with hers.

"You're cold…" She whispered, raising his hands to her lips and kissing his fingers, eyes closed.

Hajime stopped breathing, blushing and suddenly feeling very hot by her soft touch and protective smile.

"…Why did you do that? Going for hours in the storm to find Birb? _Where_ was he even? I looked _everywhere_ for him…" She asked, looking up at Hajime.

It took a moment for his brain to function, her eyes were too distracting and he felt too dizzy from her gentle kiss to think clearly.

"He was in a hole in a tree trunk, he's a good climber."

"I-I should have looked up, I d-don't know why I didn't…! He always climbs up using his beak and feet! I… I'm such an idiot…! If only…!"

"Hey… it's not your fault… Kiku…" He said, tilting up her head with his fingers, forcing her teary eyes to look into his, "You did everything you could, you were panicked and you were… sad because of me and all of the bad outcomes about Birb. Maybe he wasn't even in this tree when you were looking for him… don't feel guilty, okay…?" He said in a reassuring voice.

He brushed her cheek very quickly and as she nodded to his words, a tear rolled down her cheek. He wiped it away softly then hesitantly pulled away.

"…I'm sorry for leaving you alone in the rain. If it weren't for me… I should have been more careful about what I was doing with my phone but I-I was in such a panic I didn't realize I was sending the message to Oikawa and not you and then I–"

"Hey…" She said, cupping his cheek with a soft smile, eyes sparkling beautifully, "It's not your fault. Don't feel guilty, okay?" She said, repeating his own words.

He smiled a little, then took her hand in his, leaning against her touch.

"I read your messages and I understood the reasons why you were late and you didn't answer but I was so scared for Birb that I didn't really realize what it really meant. You must have been very scared for Godzilla and even if I was a little angry at you… I understand the circumstances and I don't hold it against you… I forgive you, Hajime." She said in a low voice.

Too grateful, he sighed in relief, closing his eyes and letting his shoulders drop a little.

"You didn't seriously think I'd break up with you for that?" She asked, chuckling a little at his reaction.

"W-well… I would deserve it for being such a shitty boyfriend…" He mumbled, flushing in embarrassment.

"A shitty boyfriend wouldn't brave a storm to find my baby bird… you're the bravest person I know… the sweetest… the kindest…" She murmured, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to look up.

She kissed his forehead just as he smiled a little, looking amused.

"That's… how I feel about you… Kiku…" He answered, keeping her hands in his, not letting her move away from him.

Not after he had feared she might leave him for his stupid mistakes.

"You didn't answer me, why did you go in the rain to find Birb? I didn't ask you anything but… you went anyway…" She continued, recalling very well that she had asked him to leave – she was glad he hadn't listened.

"Y-you seemed so distressed, so panicked… I couldn't bear it… You seemed so helpless, as if you were begging me to do something… I… just… I couldn't see you sad and I hoped that… you were hoping for the right thing, for Birb's survival and that he could be found so I just… started looking for him. But the only one I could think of was _you_ …"

He looked into her eyes, green eyes sparkling when meeting her beautiful night blue eyes, glossy with tears. Her fingers brushed his scratches, against his temple and his cheekbone. He didn't react even if he felt her touch burning his skin, but it was a comforting warmth rather than a smoldering fire.

"Going as far as getting hurt… how did it happen? You didn't…"

"I'm a little heavier than when I was ten years old, the branch didn't like me very much…" He answered, a little amused by the ridiculous fall.

She smiled, but it was a mix of sad and amused. Her guilt, her fears and her love were mixing together when she leaned down and delicately kissed his scratched cheek.

"Thank you… for coming back to me…" She whispered, looking into his eyes.

He knew she didn't mean just for coming back with Birb – but simply coming back to her despite their ruined date… despite the storm, despite everything…

"I'll always come back to you, Kiku…" He whispered, his gaze unwavering.

Before she could react, he kissed her on the lips. Her hands fell on his shoulders as they kissed, long and hard, quiet and soft, all at once. He grabbed her hips as she kissed him back. It was their way to express their happiness to be back together after the storm, their way of expressing how much they cared for each other, their way of apologizing for everything wrong that had happened… and their way to promise to always come back to each other. No matter the storm they had to go through.

Her fingers clenched his shirt, pulling him a little. He stood up and, never stopping to kiss, he gently pushed her to her room. She surrounded his neck with her arms, pulling him closer to her. His hands pulled at her shirt, not to take it off but just because he felt the need to move his hands over her. She let her hands go under his shirt, letting her fingers wander against his side. Until he hissed, and she immediately pulled away.

"Eeeh…" He mumbled, lifting up the shirt.

Kiku bit on her lower lip when they saw the big bruise forming on his side. Probably from falling off the tree earlier. He just shrugged it off and smiled to her. She kissed him again and pulled him until her knees hit her bed and she sat on it. He almost fell over and they chuckled, cheeks red. He laid down on it and she immediately rolled on top of him, kissing him gently while his hands rested on her waist. They might have kissed for longer than they ever did ever since they had started dating and once they were satisfied with the sweet, peppering kisses, Kiku rolled off him. In one motion, they cuddled together. He wrapped his arms around her, her back against his chest and his nose brushing the back of her neck. They closed their eyes, feeling warm and safe and without realizing it, they fell asleep like they had fallen in love. Softly and tenderly.

BONUS

 _[Some time later…]_

Hajime was shaken awake and he blinked his eyes, holding Kiku tighter before looking up. And freezing in terror. Shouta was looking down at him ferociously, arms crossed over his broad chest.

"We called your parents, your clothes are dry and your father is here to pick you up." He said.

"O-oh… T-thank you…" Hajime answered, letting go of Kiku.

He had tried to not wake her up but with her father's loud voice and Hajime moving around, she couldn't help but be woken up. She rolled on her back with a moan, covering her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Dinner is ready, Kiku." Her father said while the teenagers gathered their thoughts after their numbing nap.

"…I'm not feeling well…" She mumbled.

Hajime glanced at her worriedly but one look from Shouta and he stood up to leave before he'd be thrown into the storm by the window. When he stood up though he remained frozen on spot for a moment.

"…I'm not feeling well either…" He mumbled, feverish and dizzy.

"It's no wonder after being outside in the rain for hours and hours. You're not recovering here, though. Come on, go home and rest." Shouta told him, helping him walk out of the room.

Just before leaving, Hajime glanced over his shoulder At Kiku who had rolled on her side to watch him leave. They smiled, even if they were sick and their first date had been a disaster… it had been a day they'd remember.

Without surprise for anyone, the two spent the rest of the week-end in bed, taken down by a fever for spending too much time in the rain. It brought a lot of rumors at school about what the couple had done when _both_ Hajime and Kiku showed up with colds – and quite some scratches on him.

* * *

 _See? Everything turned out all right in the end. Also, you'll like next chapter. I don't remmber who had mentioned something about the scars, but well~ ;)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : IMPERFECT PERFECTION_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	44. Imperfect Perfection

_Sorry for not posting, but like I said on Sowlmates, problems with internet, then moving into another city, no internet so I can only post chapters when I'm at the university! :)_

 _Thank you to all who followed and reviewed AND THANK YOU FOR 400 REVIEWS! It's the 5th most reviewed fanfic of Haikyuu so THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE! :D_

 _ **Warning : mentions of bare skin, nakedness and nsfw but there is a moment that is really important for Kijime, so it's not put between NSFW warnings. Another, more descriptive moment IS, on the other hand, warned before hand! :)**_

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll like the following chapter as well! :)_

 _ **Krisia** : I hope it's a good sign your brain isn't functioning, then! ;)_

 _ **Aquafin** : It wasn't exactly his fault, so we can't blame Hajime, he tried his best! ;) _

_**pinkdoughtnuts** : Birds can be tough, we had lots of little birds too when i was a child. It was amazing how long they lasted, the nastier they were, the more they held onto life._

 _ **xxXsilverXxx** : Thank YOU for your lovvely review and for supporting my work by reading this entire fanfic and switchinng to Solwmates! :D I'm really happy you found this fanfic to your tastes and you liked it so much and I hope I won't disappoint you in what follows! :) Tahnk you again! xxx_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XLIV : Imperfect Perfection

" _Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a lot to love a leaf. It's ordinary to love the beautiful, but it's beautiful to love the ordinary."_

— **Unknown**

" _And love is when someone who even knows your scars, stays to kiss them."_

— **Benjamin Griss**

" _The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul until you find a crack, and then gently pour your love into that crack."_

— **Keith Miller**

" _If you love someone, no part of them is revolting. Every bloody bit: beautiful."_

— **Megan Falley, "No Name", After the Witch Hunt**

" _We never believe we're beautiful, no matter how many times we hear it. We never believe it until someone says it in the right way."_

— **Francine Prose**

" _The sign of a beautiful person is he always sees the beauty in others."_

— **Swami Sivananda**

" _There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty."_

― **Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience**

" _To love another human in all of her splendor and imperfect perfection, it is a magnificent task… tremendous and foolish and human."_

― **Louise Erdrich, The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse**

Hajime let out a heavy sigh, dropping his pen. Kiku looked up curiously at his strange reaction.

"Why is it so hot when it's only July?" He mumbled annoyingly.

"Should we take a break?" She asked with a smile.

"Yeah…"

They were studying for their finals in her bedroom but the absence of a ventilator and the hot weather made it very difficult for them to focus. While Hajime poured himself some ice tea, he observed Kiku when she stood up and went to her pets' cages.

"I'm going to give Pip and Birb a bath, do you want to come with me? It'll do them good with this heat," she said suddenly.

"They take baths?" He asked curiously.

She nodded and opened the cage, the two birds hopping on her arms then climbing on her shoulders. They kept their balance as she went downstairs, Hajime following her quietly. Pip and Birb both glanced at him curiously.

" _Bath! Bath!"_ Pip squealed happily, swinging his head on the sides excitedly.

" _Get out! Get out!"_ Birb exclaimed, staring at Hajime.

Hajime stuck his tongue out at the bird who squealed in an offended manner, glaring at him. The bird's behavior was a little less problematic since he had saved him in the storm – but he still disliked whenever Hajime distracted Kiku for too long.

Once in the back garden just behind the bakery, Hajime tried not to be too distracted by the scent of bread and patisserie coming from the bakery's kitchen. Kiku took a basin that she filled with a little bit of water then she let both Birb and Pip go into it. They happily jumped down, starting to move their wings and tails to take their bath in an improvised swimming pool. Kiku and Hajime sat on the grass, watching over the happy birds and appreciating the drops of water splashing on them to refresh them.

"They're so lucky, I'd love to get into a swimming pool or anything that's refreshing…" He mumbled, amused by their play in the water.

"Once the holiday will come, you'll be able to go," she answered with a smile.

"You'll come with me," he said casually.

Kiku glanced at him, she didn't say anything but lowered her gaze. He didn't seem to notice her embarrassment as he leaned down and petted Pip who loved the attention.

"By the way, will you tell me about… how you fell in love with me?" He asked, bringing her back on earth.

She glanced up, a little stunned by his question then blushed. He flushed as well but smiled sweetly:

"I mean, you _did_ say you had been in love with me for the last three years so… how did it happen exactly?" He asked.

He had been dying to know for a while but he either forgot or didn't have the occasion to ask her. Now that they were all alone, in a relatively good atmosphere, he found the courage the ask her.

"Come on, I won't judge, but I'm curious!" He added with a chuckle.

It reassured Kiku a little, letting her shoulders drop from the nerves then she started her tale, slowly getting over her embarrassment. She didn't have such a long tale to share considering the very few interactions they had shared before they ended up in the same class.

"I… I don't remember the first day of school, at least not seeing you… b-but I _do_ remember that day I had fallen on someone in winter… It was you, uh?" He mumbled, embarrassed to have fallen on top of a girl who now turned out to be his girlfriend.

He rubbed the back of his neck, turning a little red then he rested his chin against his lifted up knee, thinking deeply about everything that Kiku had told him. He remembered the last bits about her confession when he was asleep a few months ago, at the end of their second-year… and now that she had said it, he remembered a dream… He had dreamt of a girl whose face he couldn't see who had told him beautiful words…

" _Thank you for existing… and thank you… for making my heart beat so strongly… it made me feel alive for the first time in my whole life and… and it might have saved my life… and… that's the reason why… I fell in love with you, Iwaizumi-san…"_

Hajime blushed even more, realizing that it probably was Kiku from the beginning. How strange to realize he had heard her confession before even meeting her, that he knew her before he fell in love with her…

She was still fumbling her fingers nervously, hoping he wouldn't find her creepy for learning so many things about him when they hadn't even met properly before a few months ago. They had gone through so much, so quickly…

Hajime smiled to her, reassuring her instantly. He wouldn't judge her for falling in love with him without much interactions, if anything he felt even happier to know that she had fallen for his qualities rather than his looks. Few interactions had made him worry about that but now he knew that she had fallen in love with who he really was. Before Kiku had time to breath though, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. She smiled against his lips, kissing him back and they spent long, peaceful minutes kissing and holding hands while Pip and Birb were having fun in their bath…

Blushing terribly, Kiku pulled away and before Hajime could understand what was going on, she leaned against him, hiding her face in his shoulder and surrounding his chest with her arms. His heart missed a few beats and he swallowed hard at her sudden proximity. He kept supporting himself on one hand, the other coming up to brush away her hair so he could kiss her neck. Kiku stopped breathing for a short moment, shuddering under his lips. Getting embarrassed at the kiss in such a place and the reaction she had had, Hajime swallowed hard once again. He massaged her back to try and calm himself, not understanding why she wanted to be so physically close to him when it was so hot… Not that he minded the hug, but her body pressed against his was way too distracting and he felt like the temperature kept rising.

His eyes met Birb's who was watching him suspiciously, while Pip was still splashing around, occasionally squealing _"Kiss! Kiss!"_ probably just to embarrass the couple even more.

Kiku took in his warmth and enjoyed the rare occasion of physical proximity. It wasn't that Hajime didn't show his love for her, but it usually was when they were all alone which was a rather rare occasion. And recently, they were mostly spending time studying which led to no physical proximity. Except a few long and intense kisses they had shared once after a successful cinema date (last week-end, they had both been so wary after their disastrous first date that it was a relief when the end of the day arrived and nothing wrong had happened) they hadn't done anything else but hold hands. She didn't even get a hug since they had fallen asleep in her bed during the storm. It wasn't that she was desperate for him because she was glad they remained discreet in public, but she wished that when they were with their friends or together he'd show a bit more attention to her. So this long hug and his reassuring hand in her back were a huge comfort. She drank all of the sensations drunkenly, knowing she might not have another opportunity to hug him for a long while.

Hajime noticed a scar on her shoulder and he kept his lips thin. He couldn't help himself and brushed his fingers against it, feeling the hardened, white skin against his fingertip. He knew where these scars came from, and he had seen a little bit of it on his birthday party, when she had asked him to unzip her dress… He felt a little sick thinking of it. How much physical pain she must have endured if it left such scars… He couldn't imagine it.

Under his touch, growing uncomfortable when he seemed to focus on one of her scar on her shoulder, Kiku moved away from him but he didn't seem to notice the reason why. His gaze was lost in thoughts, lips thin, he was almost scowling while his finger continued to brush her scar. Swallowing hard, heart beating strongly and not for the good reason against her chest, Kiku spoke up:

"H-Hajime?"

He startled and turned to her, back on earth.

"Yeah?"

She hesitated, glancing down in shame then moving away from him. Just enough so that he couldn't reach her shoulder. He seemed to understand her lack of comfort and looked away.

"Do you… are you…"

She took a deep, shaky breath then looked up at him, trying to maintain her gaze – but she blushed furiously.

"Do you… want to see them…?" She asked in a hushed voice.

His heart missed a beat, his eyes widened and his lips fell open.

"Y-you mean… your scars?" He asked to be sure he had understood well.

She nodded, still blushing and he flushed as well, swallowing the knot in his throat.

"B-but y-you'd have to… take off…"

He vaguely pointed in the direction of her upper body, she glanced down, hands clenched nervously. He wasn't sure because she avoided looking in his direction now but he thought he had seen fear in her eyes…

"I-I know…" She breathed.

She looked up at him and he understood what she wanted.

"Oh." Was all he could say, blushing.

He straightened up suddenly and glanced away nervously. Both fell silent now. Until Kiku forced her lips to open so she could talk:

"I-I know w-we have been dating for… only a month or so b-but… I-I think… you should know what… you're getting yourself into…" She whispered, shame making her heart beat hollowly.

She didn't want him to see her scars, _ever_. It was the ugliest part of her body, but if they continued their relationship, eventually he'd see her body _and_ her scars. She couldn't do much but if he disliked her body she'd try her best to change it, shape it into whatever he wanted… but she could never get rid off the scars covering her back. He'd have to deal with it, he'd have to see them. She hated these scars, it disgusted her, but she hoped he would not be nearly as disgusted as she felt when she saw them… Otherwise… he would never put his hands on her, he'd never desire her the way _she_ desired him.

"…What do you mean by that?" He asked, a little confused by her tone of voice.

"I-I'm not pretty, I'm fat, my body is covered in scars… I-it's not pretty at all and–"

"It's not true at all! You're beautiful! You're not fat, you're just a little curvy but it's adorable! And I don't care about your scars!" He exclaimed vehemently.

She glanced up at him, a little saddened by his words even though he wanted to comfort her. He didn't see her as a desirable woman, he just saw her as his _"adorable girlfriend"._ He said he didn't care but the only times he had seen a little bit of her scars, he had closed off and walked away. He said she was just curvy but he had never seen her body. How could he say these words so convincingly when he didn't know what was under her clothes?

Unable to hold his determined gaze, she looked away, lips tight. He seemed so determined to prove her otherwise – not to show his love _for_ her and her body, but just the determination to hate the world that had hurt her. Disheartened, her shoulders dropped and she wondered, not for the first time, if Hajime's feelings for her _truly_ were love and desire to _be_ with her. Sometimes it felt as if he just wanted to take a revenge on the world and life. She didn't think he used her or didn't like her, but _perhaps_ … he was just mistaking his feelings of pity and admiration for "love". If it were the case, she couldn't blame him but if… if he could just show a little bit more care on an everyday basis instead of letting her take his hand once in a while… if he could just kiss her in front of their friends without looking so embarrassed and almost ashamed… if he could touch her body without looking disgusted…

Perhaps, just perhaps, it really was love…

Slowly understanding that she was feeling down, though he wasn't sure he understood the reasons why – was it at the mention of her scars? Were the memories coming back? Hajime rubbed the back of his neck once again, too embarrassed to keep a correct line of thoughts.

"L-look… u-um… we've been dating for… only a month and uh… wouldn't it be a little too fast? I mean we never really… did anything other than kiss so… um…"

"Which is why I want to… why I want you to see my scars… so that I… _we_ can both know if you can accept me, _and_ my body… and _everything_ that come with it…"

"You know I like you for the good and the bad," he said, starting to feel a little trapped.

"But you didn't _see_ the bad!" She exclaimed.

He startled at her voice rising and she immediately felt guilty. She lowered her head and let her shoulders drop, then turned towards Pip and Birb who had stopped cleaning themselves to watch what they were doing.

"I-I'm s-sorry… I… I can't ask you that of you… I might ave been in love with you for a long time, but… not you… I can't expect so much of you so soon. I… I would understand if you don't feel… if you don't _want_ to do anything with me…" She said, avoiding showing her expression by approaching the birds.

She showed her arms and they both hopped up before climbing all the way to her shoulders, occasionally shaking their feathers, splashing the couple but the heavy silence was making it hard for the atmosphere to feel refreshing any longer.

Hajime watched her sadly, now feeling guilty for making her think he didn't want her – on the contrary, the few times they had touched or been too physically close, it had been hell for him to control himself. He knew that if they kissed and hugged or let themselves go too hot he wouldn't be able to control himself… He didn't want to hurt Kiku by letting his desires take over, but he didn't want to hurt her by thinking he didn't _want_ her.

"I'm taking Pip and Birb back to their cages. If you want to continue studying, it's no problem," she said, advancing towards the door.

He stood up to follow her, Birb turning around and glaring at him for making his mommy sad:

" _Get out! Get out!"_ He exclaimed vividly.

It made Pip look around as well, but he just squealed curiously, tilting his head on a side in confusion when he saw Hajime remain behind. Once she had disappeared from view, he let a big sigh then passed his hands over his face. He had no idea what to do at the moment. He hesitated in asking help to Oikawa but… it felt too intimate to ask him anything. Plus, he'd probably be overjoyed at the turn of events and would push him to the action.

Kiku was sitting on the low table where they had been studying, staring at her notebook without trying to write anything. Hajime went to his side of the table and hesitated – should he pack up? Did she want to leave or…? He grabbed his pen, nervously letting it twist over his fingers – Kiku took it as a sign that they were continuing to study… But neither could focus or do anything, constantly glancing at each other from the corner of their eyes, an undesirable tension between them…

Finally, after long minutes of useless studying, after his mind had wandered a little too far, Hajime dropped his pen, attracting Kiku's attention to him. He bent over the distance separating them and kissed her on the lips. She was surprised by the sudden kiss but before she could answer, he pulled away, blushing.

"I can't focus anymore, now that you got me all fuzzy and warm…" He mumbled, leaning down once again.

She opened her lips to say something but he didn't let her, swallowing her quiet words in his kiss. After some hesitation, she kissed him back, holding onto his chest to keep herself grounded to something. He deepened the kiss and just around the time when he would have normally stopped, he forced himself to _not_ stop. But he kept his emotions and sensations in check, just focusing on… whatever would happen. His hands went to her hips and she didn't react until he hesitantly let his hands go under her shirt. She startled a little at his unexpected touch and his first reflex was to pull away. He was about to apologize, already breaking their kiss but Kiku didn't let him. She leaned down to force a kiss on his lips, clumsily and impatiently, she grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands back on her hips.

Hajime gasped into the kiss and startled, almost about to fall over from her bold move. But by trying to catch himself, his leg hit the table. Both jumped by the loud sound it made, especially when a half-filled glass of ice tea fell over. Kiku gasped, catching it but the damage was done – half of her notebook was wet and the rest of the ice tea had fallen on her shirt and shorts, soaking her terribly.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Hajime exclaimed, trying to dry the area frenetically.

Blushing madly because of his touch on her skin that had provoked it all, he reached for the nearest kitchen paper, pushing as much as he could on the notebook and pond of ice tea. Kiku pushed away everything that hadn't been dampened to keep them from getting any damage but before she could reach the kitchen paper to dry off what she could of her notebook, Hajime was already doing so. He managed to save her notebook and what was written in it but before she could do anything, he turned to her and put some more kitchen paper on her wet clothes, even though it didn't seem to work. He was just so embarrassed it was his only way to deal with the situation.

"H-Hajime…" She called, grabbing his wrists.

"I-I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, still pushing a handful of kitchen paper on her clothes.

Kiku stopped breathing and blushed when he touched an area that was a little too intimate. He must have sensed her freezing because he froze as well and slowly realized where his hands were. He straightened up suddenly, blushing and dropping the wet kitchen towel.

"I-I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to! I swear!" He exclaimed, blushing so much he was feeling dizzy.

Kiku didn't answer but relaxed a little, cleaning herself as best as she could while he covered his face with his hands, too embarrassed to look at her, mumbling to himself.

"This is why we shouldn't have done anything…! I'm not good at this sort of things…! Damn it, it's too embarrassing…! I can't do it – I can't…! It's too much…!"

His voice was smothered against his hands but not enough for Kiku to not hear. She finished cleaning the table then stood up, looking down at her clothes.

"Kissing on the floor next to the table was such a bad idea…! I'm such an idiot…!" He continued mumbling.

Kiku sighed and rolled her eyes at his overflow of embarrassment. He was friend with Hanamaki (and Oikawa and Matsukawa), _how_ could he get so embarrassed at such a little thing?

She grabbed his hands, forcing him to look up at her curiously, not understanding what she was doing. She forced him to stand up then pushed him towards her bed, forcing him to sit down then she sat next to him.

"Here, nothing is going to be hit or fall over," she said, his hands still in hers.

He flushed just as she leaned to kiss him. He pulled away, grabbing her shoulders.

"W-wait! I just! I'm sorry but…! Y-you should, you're wet!" He exclaimed, glancing at her wet clothes.

Kiku blushed at his choice of words and remained still. He gasped when he realized what he just said and blushed as well.

"Ah! I'm! I'm so sorry, I-I didn't mean it this way!"

"Stop apologizing, kiss me and _mean_ it this way," she mumbled, kissing him on the lips.

She tried to kiss him intensely, the way he sometimes did, but it ended up clumsy and they both fell over, Kiku on top of him. Despite the initial hesitation, he kissed her back, hands going to her cheeks before he pulled away with big eyes:

"Wait! Your parents! What if they catch us?!" He exclaimed, frightened at the idea of what Shouta might do to him if he were to walk in at _this_ moment.

"They won't."

"How can you know?!"

"They never bother me if I'm stable. They know how to respect my privacy," she explained, leaning down for another kiss.

"But _I'm_ here!" He hissed.

"In all the times you came over to study, has there been _one_ time they came up to check on us? _No_ , because they trust us."

"They won't trust us anymore if we get caught!"

" _Hajime…!"_ She growled.

Exasperated and feeling like he was just running away, she straightened up and rolled away from him, pulling up her legs together and sulking a little. Hajime sat up as well, pouting guiltily. He closed his eyes, sighing and passing a hand over his face.

"I'm… I'm sorry… I'm just… not used to us being… like that…" He mumbled, staring down at his legs, "I… I wouldn't _mind_ getting used to it b-but… it's embarrassing and… and…"

His voice trailed off when Kiku didn't react. He hesitated then moved closer to her. He awkwardly tried to surround her shoulders with his arm but decided against it – it would be more of a friendly hug than a comforting touch. He put his right hand on her back then leaned down, kissing her temple. With her position it was clumsy but he tilted his head and managed to kiss her nose. A smile finally broke on her face and she chuckled a little as he slid his fingers under her chin to lift up her face. He closed his eyes, leaning down to kiss her but she suddenly stood up from the bed. He almost fell over at how sudden it had been.

"W-what did I do wrong this time…?" He asked hesitantly.

She glanced at him from over her shoulders, blushing then she answered:

"…Nothing but… you _did_ say you wouldn't mind getting used to it, right?"

His eyes widened, an even redder blush taking over his cheeks while she grabbed the sides of her shirt. He stopped breathing but she glanced at him once again, blushing terribly.

"C-could you… look away… please…?" She asked in a hushed voice.

Hajime immediately covered his face with his hands, his heart beating badly and stomach fluttering warmly when he heard her take off her shirt.

Kiku took a deep breath, shaking a little when she took off her bra as well. She swallowed hard and glanced at Hajime, who still covered his face with his hands. It gave her enough time to calm a little, knowing why she was doing this. She used her arms to cover her breasts, even if it didn't work much then, she slowly sat on her bed. Hajime didn't move, waiting for her signal.

"I-it's okay…" She whispered, blushing.

Slowly, Hajime pulled away his hands from his face then glanced up, eyes sparkling when they met hers. For a short moment, they only looked into each other's eyes then Kiku glanced away and he slowly looked at her body. She was using her arms to hide her breasts, but he could still see their curves. As expected, her hips and waist were curvy and part of him wanted to squish it and touch her but he stopped himself when he caught sight of her back. Swallowing hard, Hajime moved a little closer to Kiku, behind her to "know what he was getting himself into". He heard her intake of breath as he touched her shoulders, his eyes going up and down on the length of her back.

"D-does it hurt…? Can I… can I touch…?" He asked softly, trying to catch her expression but her hair kept him from seeing.

She shook her head no at his first question, then she glanced at him over her shoulders, eyes filled with… with shame. Shame and fear that he'd feel disgusted by the sight or the touch, that he would reject her for that… It felt like a blow in his stomach when Hajime realized the reasons why she wanted so badly to show her scars to him. It wasn't just about desire or lust or anything… it was because she wanted him to accept _all_ of her. He had _already_ accepted it all, but it was natural her doubts and insecurities would remain. She didn't know he had seen the pictures of her injuries from the police file… but somehow, seeing them as scars was worse. It was one thing to see a bloody injury. It was another to see the mark it had left for _life_.

Slowly, he let his fingers brush over the skin, tracing the scars. She shuddered at his touch and lowered her head but didn't move away. He could feel the difference between the soft skin left untouched and the hard skin that had been wounded. From her shoulders to the base of her back, white marks covered her back in random lines. Some were wider than others – from deeper cuts. On her left side, he could see the big scar from that night when Himura had broken a vase against her. In the center of her back… the scars were so numerous, accumulated in one place that it was only a big patch of white, rough skin which felt so unnatural against his fingers. He almost felt as if he had blood on his hands just by touching the scars left by so many wounds years ago. He could only imagine the pain she had endured, the tears she had cried, the harsh pain left on her back that would resonate with her heart…

Kiku didn't say anything. She didn't do anything. She just let him watch her back, not realizing that he watched with sadness, compassion and love instead of disgust, shock and aversion as she imagined. She let his fingers wander all over the scars, tracing each and every one of them, understanding the story behind it, what had happened, the pain it had left even to this day… Then, slowly, Hajime moved forward.

He kissed her left shoulder, where the biggest scar started. His lips were so soft and warm, his hands just staying on her sides that she immediately looked up, tears filling her eyes. Her heart beat faster. She was about to turn around to make sure of what was happening, that she wasn't imagining it, to see his face but… before she could, Hajime kissed another scar on her shoulder. Once again, it left her trembling with emotions. He kissed her other shoulder and she was out of breath. He kissed another scar and she swallowed the lump in her throat, lips trembling. He kissed softly, tenderly, all the scars he could kiss while sitting behind her before kissing his way back to her shoulder. At this point, she had closed her eyes, shaking from emotions to feel his soft lips kissing her hideous scars. He hadn't moved away, he hadn't been disgusted. She had _hoped_ he would be capable of looking at her scars without feeling abhorrence. She had _prayed_ he might be able to touch her someday. But never in her wildest dreams she had imagined he'd be capable of _kissing_ her scars.

He kissed her shoulder, then the side of her neck and instinctively, she leaned her head away to give him more access to her neck. Partly because she felt too overwhelmed to do anything else. He kept his hands softly against her arms and he glanced at her face while he kissed her neck softly. Her eyes were closed tightly, her cheeks were red – form embarrassment and held-back tears… He closed his eyes again, kissing the soft skin of her neck, then the tiniest of scars, almost invisible, that were on her neck and on the side of her face. She let out a heavy breath and he opened his eyes. Softly, he pulled her against him, so she rested against his chest and she seemed relieved – she was so shaky it was a miracle she hadn't collapsed down yet. Hajime's eyes looked down. At her neck, her clavicles, the curves of her breasts, mostly hidden by her arms… He saw a black mark over her left breast and he was shocked to see a tattoo before remembering she had one – she had told him she'd have to take off her clothes to show it to him and now he understood why… His touch as delicate as a feather's, his hands brushed the length of her arms until he reached her wrists and gently pulled away. She tried to hold on at first but she was so shaky she let go and he could see her breasts in all of their glory.

He let out a heavy breath, warmth filling him and for a moment, he needed to hide his face against her shoulder. He took a deep breath and smelling her scent of lemon comforted him. He knew he was too far gone to be in total control of his arousal but the moment had been too important, too soft to have thought of it. Even now, he felt as if it was his absolute duty to prove to Kiku that he loved her body. And _gods_ , did he _love_ her body…

He gently pushed her down on the bed and she laid down obediently, as he looked down at her body, eyes glazed over by growing lust. Now he could see all of her and his heart beat faster. She kept her hands near her face, watching him nervously while he took his time looking her up and down. She had some body fat on her hips and waist, but it wasn't enough to enter his category of _"fat"._ She just looked lovely. He could make the shape of her waist and he could even see her ribs, moving up and down with her breathing. There was a line he traced with his fingers, from her ribs to her adorable belly button. Her hipbones were visible too – not a sharp bone like he always saw in magazines or on tv, just touchable without feeling like he might get cut or hurt her with his strong hold. She had white marks on her hips and sides as well – stretch marks. She just looked so touchable. Then he looked back up to her breasts… Plump, generous, and so soft-looking skin. More stretch marks, and the skin was so thin he could see her veins… On her left breast, a little sentence was written in black _"Still alive"_ in a beautiful writing. Her tattoo was pulsing to the rhythm of her heart, a constant reminder that despite everything she had gone through she was _still alive_.

He let her hands wander a little, slowly, barely feeling her skin but knowing it was enough at the moment. From her hips to the sides of her breasts, he slowly took in her body the way no one else had ever done before… Stretch marks, veins, soft skin, lovely body fat… All of these little imperfections made her even more perfect than she already was in his eyes. He loved her _so much_ – _all_ of her.

Looking back into her eyes, he saw the anxious question she was silently asking him, her blue eyes shining from unshed tears.

"You're beautiful…" He breathed.

His voice shook from emotions, his eyes sparkled from love and tenderness and maybe he was a little teary-eyed as well… he didn't feel like "beautiful" was a strong enough word to describe the way he felt about her body, but his feelings must have reached Kiku because silent tears of relief finally rolled down her eyes. She laughed in ecstasy, all of her anxiety and insecurities washed away own sake as Hajime, just as giddy as she felt, leaned down. He kissed her forehead, grinning happily to finally see her smile. His hands cupped her cheeks and he kissed her nose, forcing her hands away.

"Hey, cupcake… did you ever doubt it…?" He whispered against her lips, looking into her eyes, their hearts full of love, "I told you I like you, _all_ of you, the good and the bad… and everything in between…" He murmured.

She nodded, too relieved and happy to be capable of words. He captured her lips for a long, tender kiss. Her hands went against his cheeks, and feeling a little too hot, he took off his shirt quickly, hoping it'd lessen the temperature as he let his body fall against hers, their warmth pressed together. It _didn't_ work, if anything he felt even _hotter_ which didn't help _at all_ when she softly let her hands wander over his arms and shoulders. He could feel her heartbeat from her breast pressed against his chest, a happy melody he longed to hear for years and years to come. She could feel his frenetic heartbeat – just how much she made him feel, how much _happiness_ – resonating against her body.

They kissed for a long time, softly, until he started kissing her jaw and neck, this time a little more impatiently then before, slowly going down. Every time he kissed her skin, she seemed to shudder a little more under his touch. Reaching her breasts, Hajime closed his eyes, biting on his lower lip to keep his grin at bay but unable to fight it as he brushed the soft skin with her fingers and his nose. Then he softly started kissing her breasts, massaging with his other hand. It made Kiku squeal and he realized he loved the sound, it sent waves of contentment and arousal through his body, his stomach clenching whenever he could feel the ample breasts trembling against his hands or under his mouth. He could get addicted to it. A little overwhelmed by the sensations, he let his forehead rest against her stomach, trying to focus on his own arousal that was getting a little too hard to ignore. He swallowed hard, letting one of his hand discreetly go towards his crotch to try to lessen the pressure. She must have thought he was finished because her hands went into his hair and caressed the spiky hair for a moment, until she heard his growl.

Kiku glanced down curiously at Hajime and he bit on his lower lip, realizing the sound had escaped him. Her eyes caught sight of his hand and he quickly pulled it away to lift himself up and away from her body so he could try to think it away.

"Do you… are you…?" She asked softly.

"U-um… n-nggh… y-yeah…" He mumbled, too embarrassed to look at her in the eyes.

She sat up, blushing and staring at him but he looked away, trying to hide his _problem_.

"D-don't w-worry I'll… just… in a moment…" He whispered, trying to think of anything else _but_ his half-naked and curvy girlfriend sitting next to him.

"I-it's all right… I-it makes me happy…" She said when she saw the shameful embarrassment on his face.

He looked surprised and looked at her with wide eyes:

"R-really? B-but…"

She nodded vividly, and her cheeks blushed even more when she glanced down at what he was desperately trying to hide with how he was keeping his legs and arms together.

"Do you… um… want me to… do something…?" She asked softly, approaching him.

He hissed, out of total embarrassment and even if he had a few dozens of ideas going through his head at the moment, he felt clueless when it came to the actual deal. He didn't move his hands away until Kiku took his wrists and pushed them away – just like he had pulled away her arms from her breasts a few minutes ago. He looked up at the ceiling, aware of the embarrassing bulge in his pants he had tried to keep down. He had never had an erection anywhere else but in his room, he had always kept himself in check and it was the first time anyone was in the same room as him when it happened. The fact that it was his adorable girlfriend didn't help at all.

He clenched his fists on the sides as she struggled with his belt and the zipper of his pants considering that, despite his desire, for some stupid reason, he tried to keep his hips down on the mattress as much as possible and he didn't want to help her go through it.

"D-don't… y-you don't have to do… anything…" He whispered, finally looking back at Kiku.

She looked up at him and despite the blush on her cheeks, she smiled happily, eyes sparkling.

"It's all right, I'm happy to do it… You made me feel happy about myself, I want to do the same for you."

He swallowed hard, nervous, but she leaned and kissed him, her breasts brushing his chest. It reassured them both a little as she let her hand touched his hard-on. He gasped, clenching his jaw. Kiku bit on her lower lip in focus then looked down.

"U-um, I-I don't want to hurt you… h-how…"

She made a move with her hands, not knowing how to take off his boxers when he wasn't cooperating. Hajime opened his lips, about to tell her that she didn't need to do anything but he also knew that she was too stubborn. He swallowed hard and hesitantly reached down pushing off his boxers and pants just enough for his erection to meet the air. Kiku didn't dare look at him in the eyes, or at the arousal, and he didn't dare do or say anything either.

After a moment of silence and stillness, her hand reached for his hard-on, making him gasp. She moved her hand up and down a little, trying not to focus on the heat, or the length or the sensations too much so she could focus on what she was doing. Hajime quickly realized she had done her studies because she _knew_ what she was doing – at the very least, she _seemed_ to know. Her moves were a little clumsy, but she definitely knew what she was supposed to do.

Realizing he had been holding his breath, he took a deep one and was about to tell her something when suddenly, her lips kissed his erection, before slowly starting to take him in her mouth. He gasped, startling and grabbing the sheets around him. He could see her back covered in scars and he closed his eyes tightly. It wasn't that he didn't want to look at her scars but the general idea of a _girl_ , of his _girlfriend_ giving him a _blowjob_ , the first blowjob of his life _was…!_

"O-oh… f-fuck…" He whispered, sensations started to get a little too intense.

He moved around, not knowing what to do, overwhelmed by the electrifying sensations taking over him. He felt full of love for Kiku but what she was doing to him, even if she was technically a beginner, was a thousand times better than everything he had _ever_ imagined.

"O-oh! W-wait…! K-Kiku!" He called, moving around his arms desperately, holding onto the curtains, the window, then the sheets again.

He swallowed hard, head falling against the window, his breathing getting uneven, almost panicked. His hips bucked up a little and an electrifying sensation shot through his body, a familiar and yet new sensation. He was close, he could feel it but it was so different from his boring masturbating that it almost shook him off.

"W-wait! K-Kiku! S-stop!"

He was _too_ close and he tried to warn her, to grab her shoulders but it was too late. He came, his head hitting the window, biting hard on his lips to keep down his scream. Only a growl escaped him, his hands clenching Kiku's hair that he had grabbed at the last moment. His orgasm was… mind blowing. Definitely the best he ever had and it took him long seconds of ecstasy, not knowing where he was, to come back on earth.

It was only when Kiku moved away from him, coughing loudly that he realized what just happened. Panic filled him as she coughed, his white cum rolling down her chin, her hand coming up to try to keep herself as clean as possible – she hadn't seen it coming, despite his words. She hadn't expected him to come and she had almost choked when the warm liquid had hit her throat.

"I'm! I'm so sorry! A-are you okay?" Hajime asked worriedly, quickly grabbing her shoulders to check on her.

She whizzed a little, wiping away what was on her chin but smiled in embarrassment.

"S-sorry for that…" She murmured awkwardly.

He stared at her then laughed blissfully.

"Don't apologize! Definitely not! I-it was…!"

She smiled, blushing terribly as he leaned down to kiss her lips softly. It was his clumsy way to express his feelings and to thank her for the first and best blowjob of his life. He pulled away and they glanced down at his crotch while he covered himself..

"…I-it's a mess… let me clean up while you get dressed…" He mumbled, standing up and pulling up correctly boxers and pants, hurrying with his belt.

Kiku opened and closed her lips but he was already reaching for the kitchen paper to clean up the mess on his pants and on her bed. She swallowed hard, the taste of his cum lingering in her mouth. She put on her bra and shirt, without Hajime ever glancing her way. Either because he was busy erasing the proofs of what they had done or because he was too embarrassed to look her way, she couldn't tell. He put on his shirt as well then, satisfied about the innocent look of the bed despite what they had done, he sighed in relief.

"…Gods I pray your parents didn't hear anything or I'm dead…!" He whispered.

She chuckled at his reaction, standing up and kissing his jaw.

"Don't worry, they won't do anything to you. A-and… I-I'm really happy… of everything that had happened today…" She whispered.

He glanced down at her then smiled tenderly, cupping her cheeks and brushing his nose against hers, making her chuckle adorably.

"Me too… I'm glad you… started the topic… not just because of the ending but… I'm glad you're comfortable enough to talk to me…" He said, kissing her lips quickly.

She smiled but he already turned around, glancing down at his pile of notebooks and books.

"I should probably go… it's getting late and I told my mom I'd help her with the groceries tonight…"

"All right, see you tomorrow then?"

She accompanied him downstairs and kissed him goodbye. Hajime walked with a giddy smile on his face, but froze when he crossed path with Shouta who was coming back from putting the trash away.

"You studied well?" He asked the boy with a smile.

Hajime thought back on the last part of their "study session" and blushed, unable to meet the man's eyes.

"U-um, y-yeah… it was… great…" He mumbled, trying to hurry past Shouta.

He blinked and followed him with his gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"…Your hair is messy."

Hajime startled and froze in his tracks.

"And your clothes are disheveled. Your might want to zip up your pants."

Hajime glanced down and gasped, realizing he had _forgotten_ to zip his pants! He was such an _idiot!_ He quickly zipped it up, too ashamed and embarrassed to turn around and meet his Shouta's eyes. His girlfriend's father. His girlfriend who just gave him a blowjob.

"Go home safely, then!" Shouta exclaimed cheerfully, going back inside the bakery.

Hajime glanced over his shoulder, feeling like an idiot, and like his lifespan had shortened considerably. And he had been so adamant on being discreet – he had just revealed it all by forgetting to _zip_ his pants!

He was still cursing himself and his stupidity when he arrived home, going straight into his bedroom, dropping his bag and falling into his bed, mumbling against his pillow.

"How did the study session with Kiku-chan go~?"

Hajime jumped, holding back a scream and staring at Oikawa who was casually sitting against the side of his bed, reading a manga. He was smiling like he usually did and Hajime didn't know if he was being earnest in his question, or if he was teasing. Hajime swallowed hard, but blushed anyway, which made his friend raise a curious eyebrow.

"U-um, w-well… yeah, well… it went well…" He mumbled, trying not to look suspicious.

Oikawa stared at him for a long moment, then he put down the manga and turned around, arms crossed over the edge of the bed, a knowing smile on his face.

"Did she give you a blowjob~?" He asked teasingly.

Hajime gasped, blushing even more and panicked because _how the hell_ did he guess such a thing…?! He would have denied but he knew that it was too late and his reaction had betrayed him.

"H-how…?!" He hissed.

"Well, firstly, you're a _little_ obvious. Secondly…"

Oikawa pulled out his phone and showed him a bunch of pictures. From the angle and with the window in between, there was no asking _who_ had taken these pictures. It wasn't explicit but it was obvious that Kiku and him were probably naked and that she was leaning down towards his crotch. To give him a blowjob. At this point, Hajime was just too tired to curse Hanamaki – _yet_.

"Who–"

"Only Mattsun and I~! We didn't want to corrupt the innocent minds of the second and first years by sending the pictures on the _entire_ team's group chat~!" He hummed, happy for his friend.

Hajime just fell back on his bed, hiding his face in his pillow but his ears were red from embarrassment to have been caught by Hanamaki of _all_ people. He had completely forgotten _who_ was Kiku's neighbor.

"So! Tell me _everything!_ I want to know the details~! How was it~?" Oikawa asked impatiently.

If he had been a dog, he would have wiggled his tail but Hajime ignored him, mumbling incoherent sentences against his pillow. The Ace cursed his so-called-friends for spying on him and embarrassing him (how will he tell such a thing to Kiku?!) and cursed himself for his lack of discretion… And while Oikawa whined he _did_ hear a tiny sentence from Hajime that sounded an awful lot like _"It_ _felt_ _great"._

* * *

 _So, the NSFW is going to start from now on, little by little, with lots of innuedno and not much action for the moment. I'll try to give it a different dynamic from Sowlmates where Bokuto is the one going lustfully after AYaka, in this story I'll try to turn it into Kiku going after Hajime! ;) I had promised you the NSFW, it's coming, I hope you'll like it and I'll manage to keeptheir souls pure despite it all~! :3_

 _Thank you again and don't hesitate tto tell me what you thought! :D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	45. Insecurities

_Like I said on Sowlmate I'm running out of time beofre I get kicked out of the library I'm using internet for so I'll answer to your reviews on next chapter! :D_

 _Thank you for follows, faovrites and reviewing! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XLV : Insecurities

" _I was quiet, but I was not blind."_

— **Jane Austen, Mansfield Park**

" _You don't need to force yourself to like me…I don't even like myself much."_

— **Haruki Murakami, Colorless Tsukuru Tazari and His Years of Pilgrimage**

" _You see everything when the world doesn't see you."_

— **American Horror Story: Hotel**

" _Please don't judge people. You don't know what it took someone to get out of bed, look and feel as presentable as possible, and face the day. You never truly know the daily struggle of others."_

— **Karen Salmansohn**

" _You are not a reflection of the people who can't love you."_

— **Caitlyn Siehl**

" _People are often afraid of loners because they represent an idea that is socially unacceptable: that they can be enough for themselves, that they're fully-functioning human beings even on their own."_

— **Unknown**

" _Often those that criticise others reveal what he himself lacks."_

— **Shannon L. Alder**

" _But you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself any more. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head."_

— **Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why**

" _I was feeling insecure you might not love me anymore."_

— **John Lennon**

"Good morning, cupcake," Hajime greeted, kissing Kiku's cheek.

She smiled, letting him enter the bakery. It was still early in the morning but they had met to prepare Oikawa's birthday cake.

"Good morning, muffin," she answered.

They didn't notice Shouta holding back his laugh and quickly turning around to hide his amused expression at the pet names they were using.

Some time had happened since their make-out session and things were awkward at first, they didn't dare meet each other's eyes for a while. But with time, they slowly relaxed, got over it and now they were back to their usual selves, as if nothing had happened but not ignoring the fact that it _did_ happen. Whenever Hajime thought back on this study session turned make-out session, he still felt overwhelmed and speechless by how good it had felt and _mostly_ , how reassured he was to know Kiku comfortable to express her fears to him concerning her insecurities. As for Kiku, she had been incredibly shy thinking back on what she had done – it was as if the weight of what she had done had hit her _after_ the deed – but she didn't regret any of it. Sometimes she glanced in her mirror and felt bad and insecure about her body and her scars, but Hajime's words resonated in her mind and she would smile. He wasn't aware of _how much_ of a difference his words and feelings had done to her body image and self-confidence.

The quiet and discreet hand-holding and kisses on the cheeks continued but they had taken another step forward with the pet-names. Kiku had accidentally called Hajime "muffin" and he had accidentally called her "cupcake". These were the first pet names they had used and their favorites, despite the mockery and snickers they had to face when it had accidentally slipped their tongues in front of their teammates. After that, they both tried to find more pet names and used a few here and there such as "Honey Bunny" and "Sunshine" for Kiku "Handsome" and "Teddy bear" for Hajime. They would always end up with silly grins on their faces, hearts full of love and happiness.

"So, I heard you're here to help?" Shouta asked when he finally kept down the laugh bubbling in his throat.

"Y-yes, sir!" Hajime exclaimed, still feeling somehow awkward with his girlfriend's parents – especially after their first ruined date, Shouta still hadn't totally forgiven him.

"Well, I'm almost done so you'll have the kitchen for yourselves. Kiku knows what to do." He said.

The couple glanced at each other, waiting a little impatiently to be left alone as he transported trails of freshly baked bread and various patisserie. Of course, they helped out a little but they couldn't stop glancing at each other. It was the first time they were truly baking together, or even doing any kitchen-related work together. It was silly but it felt like an important part of their relationship. Kiku handled most of the cake but Hajime helped her out, going to find the ingredients and executing her orders obediently. They mostly had fun for the decoration, trying to decide the final design – an alien, a little spaceship and Oikawa himself with a volleyball and lots of leaves around to represent his teammates – but Kiku insisted on letting Hajime do it all. It was his idea to prepare the cake together for his best friend's birthday and even if he wasn't nearly as good as Kiku for this sort of things, he _did_ enjoy it a lot, both laughing at the result in the end. He wasn't a great artist but he was proud of what he had done.

Kiku glanced up at him, his proud grin on his face as he looked at his work. She chuckled, realizing he had some colorful icing on his cheek. She gathered it on her finger then put it in her mouth, making him smile teasingly. Before she had time to defend herself, he grab the nearest and unused amount of icing, leaving finger traces on her cheek. She laughed, trying to take it off but throwing some flour at him. Making sure not to ruin their cake, they fought a little but quickly, Hajime caught up to Kiku and surrounded his arms around her waist, licking and kissing the icing on her cheek, and a little bit everywhere after their fight. She couldn't stop laughing at the tickling sensation and, too happy to keep his thoughts together, he ended up hiding his face in her neck, chuckling as well.

They didn't notice Shouta staring at them from a distance, worry in his eyes.

The birthday party went well, even if Oikawa didn't realize that the spaceship _was_ a spaceship and he assumed that the figure representing _him_ was a Godzilla… but in the end, he was happy, surrounded by his friends and everyone enjoyed the day.

The days went by, filled of practice and studying and nothing particularly spicy happened. Unfortunately…

Despite what had happened between Kiku and Hajime not too long ago, her insecurities slowly came back. She fought it and it wasn't as terrible but before but she still felt down when Hajime didn't show her enough attention. She didn't want to appear as a needy, clingy girlfriend so she kept silent.

One day, though, towards the end of practice, Kiku couldn't help but wrap her arms around him. Hajime looked down at her, surprised by her sudden gesture and glanced around but no one seemed to notice or care.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"…I just wanted to hug you…" She mumbled against his chest.

She hugged him tighter, closing her eyes but he just put his hand on her shoulder.

"We're still at practice," he said.

He pushed her away lightly, barely using any force to not hurt her and she immediately stepped away. She looked up but he walked away, bringing a few papers to Oikawa. No one had seen them hug, or rather no one had seen _her_ hug _him_ so why did he pull away…? Unless he didn't want to hug her…?

She shook her head no, forcing her mind to keep good and positive thoughts. He hugged her often, not everyday, but often enough. He just didn't feel like hugging her today. She was reassured when, as he walked her back home, Makki and Oikawa alongside them, he took her hand and didn't let go. It made her smile and it was the only gesture of love she needed.

But still, in the following days, she couldn't help but try and get a little bit more of him. She'd kiss his cheeks, which always surprised him and sometimes he'd even pull away abruptly, she'd take his hand more often and he usually didn't mind, she'd hug him but more often than not he'd push her away… Every time he acted distant, he'd do something sweet before she could start to overthink but little by little, day after day… it was obvious Hajime didn't want to get physically close to Kiku.

Her worries were cut short when on the week-end, Hajime suddenly asked to come over. But the moment he stepped into her room, despite a kiss on her cheek, he just sat down to study, pointing out a few things he needed her help for. Kiku tried to go along with it but after only a few minutes, she let out a sigh heavy enough to attract his attention.

"You're okay?" He asked, putting down his pencil, frowning lightly in worry.

"J-just don't feel like studying…" She admitted, flushing a little.

"Are you all right? Do you need anything?" Hajime asked.

She didn't answer, just looked away. He either was oblivious to everything she was saying, or he was trying _very_ hard to ignore the obvious signs she was flashing.

"It's very hot today, isn't it?" She continued, straightening up a little and glancing his way.

Hajime stared at her, not understanding the sudden change of topic. He glanced away, cheeks flushing – perhaps he _had_ caught on what she was saying. At long last.

"U-um, yeah… do you… want to…"

His voice trailed off and she blushed suddenly, heart speeding up at once in excitement. Her body already felt hot and bothered just at his adorable flirting and suggesti–

"Do you want to drink something? I could go get you a glass of something fresh…" He continued, avoiding looking at her.

Kiku stared at him in disbelief, annoyance starting to get to her. He must be doing it on purpose, there was no other explication.

"T-thank you…" She answered automatically.

He stood up and hurried outside of her bedroom. She sighed, letting her head rest against the desk then she stood up and let herself fall on her bed, hugging her pillow and facing the wall. She knew she wasn't very desirable but what was it that she was doing _wrong?_

It can't be _that_ hard to flirt and send signs to her boyfriend that after _two_ months together she wanted to get a little more intimate and touchy-feely. Except a few long kisses and one blowjob they had done absolutely _nothing_.

Kiku was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Hajime come back. He threw one glance her way then immediately arrived next to her, sitting on the side of her bed.

"Hey… you're okay?" He asked, letting the back of his free hand against her forehead.

Kiku's eyes widened at the sudden proximity she hadn't seen coming, her cheeks blushing at his tender touch. She turned on her back, realizing he was holding a glass of water and kept his brows furrowed, looking down at her worriedly.

"You're a little warm…" He murmured, making her blush even more, "Perhaps you should relax and take it easy today instead of studying," he said.

She let out a growl and rolled away once again, not believing he _dared_ giving her lesson about relaxing when he spent _all_ of his free time studying for the finals. Hajime didn't understand her reaction but he tapped her shoulder, forcing her to sit up and drink the glass of water. Once satisfied, he put the glass on her night table but before he could move away, Kiku wrapped her arms around his waist, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

Hajime's heart sped up and he didn't react right away but he awkwardly wrapped his arms around her before slowly pulling her closer until his face was hiding in her neck. He didn't react when she started softly kissing his neck, but his heart beat too fast for his thoughts to remain calm.

"U-um, Kiku…" He started hesitantly.

She pulled away, looking up at him with a sigh. Hajime stared into her eyes, seeing the disappointment shining. She was about to move away but he leaned down, kissing her lips softly. Kiku seemed surprised before kissing him back, opening her mouth and cupping his cheeks, both falling back on the bed, tongues entangling.

Hajime swallowed hard before kissing her neck, trying to think of what to do next. Not that he _didn't_ know what to do exactly, but he wasn't sure how far he wanted to go at the moment, despite Kiku who seemed open to any option. His heart was beating so fast, warmth was spreading so quickly through his body that he quickly lost control, letting his desires take over. He closed his eyes, growling a little as he let his lips wander against her neck and shoulder, kissing a little more ardently, biting.

Kiku squealed, jumping whenever she felt the sharp sensation against the soft skin. She felt overwhelmed – even if she wanted them to get to the next step, it was so surprising that she didn't know what to do in return. It only got worse when his hands brushed her thighs before his fingers dug into her sides.

Suddenly, he pulled away, sitting up and moving away from her. Kiku stared at him, stunned by his reaction.

"W-what is it…?" She asked, sitting up as well.

"S-sorry, I shouldn't have… it was…" He mumbled, keeping his back turned to her.

"I-it's fine, it was… it was fine…"

She moved closer to him, surrounding his torso with her arms and kissing the corner of his lips. He kept his jaw tense until she reached his lips, and after a sigh, he kissed her back. Kiku wondered why he seemed so flustered – it wasn't just the embarrassment of touching each other, there was something else bothering him. She just prayed it wasn't because he didn't feel attracted to her. She noticed that he was trying to hide the bulge in his pants with his hands. Kiku moved to kiss him better, sitting on his lap and letting her hands reach his wrists. Was he aroused because he was attracted to her and they were kissing… or was he aroused because he was being touched by a girl regardless of who it was?

Not having the courage to ask him, Kiku pulled away his hands and pulled at his belt and zipper.

"W-wait… K-Kiku…" He called.

His hands weakly tried to pull her away but she leaned down, just like last time.

"S-stop it…"

Kiku moved away, looking up at him with blushed cheeks, biting down on her lower lip.

"Do you… dislike it?" She inquired.

"T-that's not… no…" He answered, too embarrassed to meet her eyes.

"Then why do you want me to stop? I… I just want to make you happy but if you dislike my touch, I won't do anything…" She said, voice trembling a little.

He felt dizzy, biting hard on his lower lip.

"I… I just don't know how to look at you after, it's… it's too embarrassing… I'm not sure… I can do the same for you…" He mumbled.

Kiku stared at him, lips falling open, surprised by his words. Then she swallowed hard at his final words. _"I'm not sure I can do the same for you"_ was it just embarrassment talking or… a real lack of physical attraction?

Kiku swallowed hard, glancing down at her hands joined over her laps.

"It's… it's okay…" She breathed, "I… what do you want me to do…?" She asked.

Hajime swallowed hard, not sure what to do or say. Before he could even think of what he'd want, they heard footsteps getting closer to her bedroom. They jumped on their feet, Hajime quickly pulling his pants back on and both fell on their knees at the low table, pretending to be studying just as the door opened.

"Kiku, what do you want to eat for dinner tonight?" Nanami asked her daughter with a smile.

"U-um… I-I don't… anything you want…" She answered, blushing at the idea that her mother had almost caught them making-out.

"Hajime-chan, do you want to stay for dinner?"

"N-no, t-thanks," he answered, keeping his gaze down at his notebook.

"All right."

Nanami stared at the teenagers for a moment, wondering why they were acting so strange and distant. She shrugged it off and closed the door, both immediately sighing in relief.

"I-it was close…" Kiku muttered, hiding her face against her hands.

"…Which is why we shouldn't have done anything…!" He grumbled, straightening up.

She looked up at him, surprised and a little hurt he'd look so regretful at what had happened. Sure, they had almost been caught but… it had been… nice… right? At least for him, right?

Hajime let out a heavy sigh, quickly gathering his books and putting them all in his bag. Kiku panicked when she saw him pack up.

"W-what are you doing?" She asked with wide eyes.

"I can't focus if you're here, I'll study at my place." He explained, already standing up and going straight for the door.

"W-wait!" Kiu exclaimed, hurrying on her feet and almost falling into his chest.

He turned around, just as she looked up at him, fear evident in her eyes:

"W-what am I doing wrong?" She asked, voice shaking.

Hajime looked down at her, lips falling open, not believing she would think such a thing… He tightened his lips before cupping her cheek, kissing the corner of her lips.

"Absolutely nothing, cupcake. Just… we have to focus on the finals approaching. Then… we'll talk about getting… distracted, okay?"

Kiku looked down but nodded. He kissed her temple then left. She wasn't sure how to feel about this. But it was probably the best way to go: priority to school work, then… they'll talk about it.

After calming her troubled heart, Kiku's insecurities calmed down. He wouldn't have said that if he didn't feel any attraction to her. And it also explained why he seemed so absent-minded, because he was focused on the finals. It'd be over soon and then… it'd be the summer holiday which meant, lots of moments to spend together.

 _A few days later, after the finals…_

"I'll bring the papers to the teachers' classroom, go ahead at practice," Kiku told her boyfriend at the end of class.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

She nodded cheerfully, a bright smile on her face. Reassured by her smile, he smiled as well then went ahead. Kiku quickly brought what their teacher had requested and was on her way to change and join the boys at practice. Most people were already gone to their club activities at this time. So, she was surprised to see three girls waiting in the hall. She tried to ignore them, trying to hurry past them but one of the girls suddenly stepped in front of Kiku, forcing her to a stop.

"Hold on a minute, Akiyama, we've got something we wanted to share with you."

She looked up, not surprised to see Muraki leading the two other girls. As if on cue, Muraki grabbed her arm and forced her in a dark hall, pushing her violently against the wall. Kiku had trouble breathing for a moment after her back hit the wall but she looked back at the three girls blocking her way.

"I kept silent because I had hoped that Iwaizumi-san would find reason or that you'd leave him but… you didn't listen to me when I told you to stay _away_ from him. Instead, what do you do? You ask him out!"

"…Are you trying to intimidate me…?" Kiku asked, frowning a little but trying to avoid the girls' gazes burning with jealousy.

"I don't need to intimidate you because I know that you like Iwaizumi-san and you want him as happy as _we_ want him to be."

Surprised, Kiku stared at Muraki who continued rather calmly:

"You're not _good enough_ for him, everyone can see that so I'll give you one last chance to let him be free. He deserves _better_ so let it go. Be a nice girl and think of him first, okay?" Muraki said with a smile.

"Right… you're not intimidating me… you're threatening me instead." She concluded in a low voice.

Kiku thought back on the obvious lack of attraction from Hajime but… but she couldn't let petty and jealous girls decide of her love life, of her _life_.

"But I'm not scared of you… I-if Hajime doesn't want of me then, he'll just–"

She didn't see it coming. She heard the harsh sound of the slap before she felt the burning sensation against her cheek. She swallowed hard, eyes wide when she realized that Muraki had just _slapped_ her. Even her two acolytes seemed shocked…

" _Don't_ call him by his first name! You don't deserve it! You don't deserve _him!_ I've been in love with him since Kitagawa Daiichi! I lost weight and I spend almost an hour everyday making my hair and my make-up just so he would notice me! I know him better than you, you have _no right_ to show up and take him from me!" She exclaimed, voice rising and rising until it was almost impossible to understand her words.

Kiku stared, her hand against her warm cheek, still shocked, at Muraki whose eyes were shining with unshed tears. Tears of anger, jealousy and sadness that despite all of her efforts, Iwaizumi had never noticed her but she had noticed tiny, insignificant, antisocial Akiyama Kiku. An overweighted girl, not that pretty, with a messed up past… Why _this_ girl instead of _her?!_

"No one likes you, no one _wants_ of you, not even your own parents! So don't think that Iwaizumi-san's feelings for you will be strong enough so that you can have a happy ending!" She exclaimed with a sharp voice.

Kiku lowered her head, her hair hiding her expression, bitterly reminded that no one had cared enough for her to stay around. No one _but_ Hajime. She trusted him, he was honest and if he realized that his feelings for her wouldn't be enough, he'd say it. He'd face her. She trusted him, she trusted him, she trusted him, she trusted him, she–

"Just say _something!_ Don't you feel guilty you stole him from us?!" Muraki hissed, suddenly pushing Kiku.

She fell against the wall once again, lips tight to keep herself from crying or cracking. She was too panicked to know what to do at the moment but she knew that violence wasn't the solution. Muraki was broken-hearted and acted that roughly because of her hurt feelings. She pitied Muraki, she wished the girl would find someone to be happy with but… but she loved Hajime too much to let him go so easily just because jealous girls were threatening her.

Kiku looked back at Muraki and the two girls, all three falling silent and stepping away at the gaze burning with determination. It wasn't the shy girl they usually saw– what had happened to her that she'd look at them so vibrantly?

"D-don't look at us like that! Y-you…"

"Oi."

At the sound of the rough voice resonated behind them, the three girls startled, frightened a teacher or someone from the volleyball team had caught them. They turned around, Kiku looking up as well, all four stunned to see who was standing there. They didn't know him, but he was rather tall, with short-cropped blond hair with two stripes running down the sides of his head. Mostly, he wore a threatening expression, a nasty gaze glaring at them. All four girls shivered in fear, mostly the three as he narrowed his eyes at them fiercely.

"Fuck off." He simply said.

Muraki opened and closed her lips, shaking but her two friends glanced between Kiku and the frightening boy and decided to run off. Muraki stared at them, offended, then, she turned towards Kiku.

"Y-you've been warned! A-Akiyama!" She exclaimed before walking off.

The scary boy actually glared at her even sharper and she jumped and started running away.

Kiku swallowed hard before glancing at the boy, grateful he had intervened…

"T-thank you…" She said, straightening up.

He turned his gaze back at her and she startled. He seemed just as angry at her as the three girls previously. Could it be that he wanted to threaten her as well? But then, he huffed and turned away, already walking off as if nothing had happened.

"Nevermind."

Kiku swallowed hard, trying to control her frightened heartbeat… he was scary… but he looked familiar. She couldn't remember from where, though. She just knew he wasn't a third-year but who was he?

Deciding to go to practice before the girls decided to go after her again, Kiku hurried to change and go to the gymnasium.

"You're late, what happened?" Her uncle asked when she showed up, later than usual.

"N-nothing, I had to… bring papers to the teachers…" She explained sheepishly, not wanting him to worry.

He didn't seem convinced, narrowing his eyes at her just as she looked around and decided to change topic:

"W-where is everyone?"

"They went off to a run. Iwaizumi decided it. He seems very frustrated, Oikawa must have done something stupid again. Ah, but it's the finals soon so, it might be why."

He looked up at her, observing closely her expression that seemed a little off.

"You know something?"

Kiku startled and quickly shook her head.

"N-no, I don't know!" She exclaimed before walking away to fill the water bottles.

She used the time washing and filling the water bottles to calm down, both after facing the three girls _and_ her uncle. By the time she was done, the boys were back, all sweaty and whining about the running they had gone to. Kiku brought a water bottle to Hajime who took it gratefully, gulping down the fresh water. She observed him closely but he didn't seem to notice her staring, almost immediately whipping towards Oikawa and screaming at him for some stupidity he just said. He forced the bottle back in Kiku's hands and she looked down at it.

She loved Hajime too much to let jealous girls get in the way or decide for her, she wouldn't let her threats get to her but… but they were right. She really wasn't good enough for someone like Iwaizumi Hajime. And perhaps… he was slowly realizing it too, considering the lack of attention he gave her and how distant he was acting, more and more everyday…

But like always when her insecurities kicked in, Hajime eventually kissed her forehead tenderly at the end of practice and… and she didn't know what to think anymore. Which was why she went to see the only person who could help her out, the person who understood Hajime better than anyone even if it hurt her heart to know that. She knocked at the door, clenching and un-clenching nervously her hands just as it opened.

"Eh? Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked, surprised, "If you want to see Iwa-chan, I think he went off earlier." He said with a smile.

"I-I'm not here to see Hajime… I'm here for you…"

"Mmm?"

He seemed surprised, tilting his head on a side. She blushed, glancing away before looking up, straight into his eyes:

"Can you help me have sex?" She asked suddenly.

BONUS

 _[It happened more or less around the same time…]_

Iwaizumi was surprised when he saw Marika showing up at his classroom.

"If you're looking for Oikawa, he's not here," he told her.

"Actually…"

She hesitated, fidgeting awkwardly. He knew that things had been tense between the two recently, partly because Marika had participated in the revelation of Kiku's past to the high-school and Oikawa was still pissed off about it (Iwaizumi too, but he tried not to let it show on his face when he saw Marika) and mostly because they kept arguing or something.

"You know Oikawa better than anyone, right?" She asked hesitantly.

"Of course," he answered without hesitation.

Something close to annoyance passed in her green eyes but then, she took a deep breath and stared right into his eyes:

"Do you know if Tooru is cheating on me?" She asked.

Iwaizumi blinked, surprised that such a question would be what she was asking.

"What the hell made you think that? Oikawa has a lot of defaults but he's not a cheater. He'd _never_ do that." He answered, raising an eyebrow.

She seemed hesitant, as if she wanted to add something but then she just thanked Iwaizumi and walked away. Was it him or she had seemed incredibly sad? But imagining Oikawa cheating… it was ridiculous. He had never done that to his girlfriends and he never will. He was trash but a faithful trash.

Still, it wasn't surprising when a few days later, Oikawa showed up at his place, whining about Marika breaking up with him. It was the first time one of his girlfriends broke up with him. Usually it was the other way around, when he'd get tired of the girl, or she'd get too annoying about spending not enough time with him… but this time, Oikawa was angry and a little ashamed his girlfriend had broken up with him. It was weird imagining Oikawa Tooru of _all_ people being dumped but… Iwaizumi kinda felt sorry for both of them. After all, he _did_ neglect Marika and didn't spend much time with her, obsessing with the Spring-High coming up.

"I don't get it! We were good together! _Why_ would she break up with _me?!_ I _did_ spend a lot of time with her compared to the others!" Oikawa kept whining, repeating the same thing for the tenth time already.

Iwaizumi patted his shoulder, wondering if he should share with him what Marika had asked him a few days ago. If he cheated on her. There was no way Oikawa would…

"Perhaps to preserve her dignity?" Iwaizumi said, sounding a little mocking and perhaps trying to figure out if he'd cheat on his girlfriend.

" _Iwa-chan!"_ He whined.

Nope, no way this guy would cheat on his girlfriend. He'd be found out within hours, whether by Iwaizumi or said-girlfriend… Then why would Marika would ask him that? It wasn't new Oikawa wasn't in love with his girlfriends but then, did he like someone else? Iwaizumi almost scoffed at the idea, he'd know it for sure if Oikawa liked someone. But still, he couldn't ignore the feeling that his best friend was hiding something from him…

* * *

 _I don't even remember what happens in this chapter but I hope you liked it! Once again, I don't have time to write anything but don't hesitate to tlel me waht you thought!_

 _Next chapter asap!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	46. As Blue as the Ocean's Depths

_ARGH! There are so many more things I want to write but we're almost at the 50s chapters! " I might cut off a few moments, or reduce it... so that I canf inish this fanfic in time for the posting of Aliens, coinciding with Beautiful Disaster._

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _I'm answering your reviws from chapter 44 as well._

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll liked the following chapters as well! :D_

 _ **xxjaelee** : Aaah, Kijime, and mostly Hajime, still have a lot to learn when it comes to intimcy but they're slowly getting there. ;)_

 _ **Aquafin** : Well the third years like to know that their boy, that the couple they ship so badly, is going smoothly! ;)_

 _ **forevertrash97** : Ahah! I'm glad you loved the chapter 44 and their intense moment! :D _

_**xxXsilverXxx** : I think it's fascinating how quotes can fit so well the contents of a chapter which was written with no thought abuot said-quote or the original book/movie ti comes from. :) You are the kind one for reviewing, he least I can do is answer to you! :D Ahah! I'm glad you're reading Sowlmates as well, I hope you like it anddon't worry about the tears, i cried a lot writing it as well, and happiness will come up eventually! ;) _

_**pinkdoughtnuts** : Ahah... I never said Makki wasn't creepy by taking pcitures, but he's done that for a while now just out of teasing against Kiku and Hajime so..._

 _ **xxjaelee** : Ahah, you'll see why she asked THIS to Oikawa, and no, he doesn't like her! She's just a good friend, but Oikawa's girl (an OC for his future story Aliens) will appear soon! ;) _

_**Hopeful Guest** : Thank you for reading my stories! Did you review with the same pseudo, because I don't remember? *blinks in confusion*_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XLVI : As Blue as the Ocean's Depths

" _The problem with human attraction is not knowing if it will be returned."_

― **Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush**

"… _As long as nothing happens between them, the memory is cursed with what hasn't happened."_

― **Marguerite Duras, Blue Eyes, Black Hair**

" _Desire is the kind of thing that eats you and leaves you starving."_

― **Nayyirah Waheed**

" _He isn't so much flirting," Cerise murmured. "Either he doesn't like me or he doesn't know how."_

" _Of course he likes you. You're lovely. He probably just doesn't get it. Some men have to be hit over the head with it. Her aunt rolled her eyes. "I thought I'd have to draw your uncle Jean a giant sign. That or kidnap him and have my evil way with him, until he got the message."_

― **Ilona Andrews, Bayou Moon**

" _And you can't love, not fully, unless you are loved in return."_

— **Lauren Oliver, Requiem**

" _I've always found that the most beautiful people, truly beautiful inside and out, are the ones who are quietly unaware of their effect."_

— **Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian**

" _I think perhaps love comes from finding someone you feel utterly comfortable with, someone who makes you comfortable with yourself. It's like finding yourself, or maybe it's like finding the other part of yourself."_

— **Candice Proctor, Whispers of Heaven**

"Can you help me have sex?" Kiku asked suddenly, looking up at Oikawa, blushing in embarrassment.

"Eh?" He said, blinking in disbelief, shocked by what she had suddenly said.

Kiku-chan showing up at his place out of nowhere was a surprise. But her request was a _shock_.

Before she could repeat her words, he understood what she meant and gasped:

"EEEH?! _NO!_ I can't do that to Iwa-chan! What you are asking of me is too much, Kiku-chan! It'd be–"

"Not with you, stupid!" She exclaimed, glaring at him for thinking she wanted _him_.

"Oh."

Suddenly embarrassed at the awkwardness of the situation, but still not understanding what the hell was going on, he just lifted up his hand in front of his mouth turned into a 'o' shape.

"Then… why aren't you asking to… you know, your _boyfriend?"_ He continued, shaking lightly his head in confusion.

Kiku hesitated, before sighing and looking up at her friend.

"I just… I just need your help… I-I don't know how Hajime feels towards me anymore a-and he refuses to touch me and I just…! You know him better than anyone, right, so… help me out! _Please!"_ She pleaded, sounding desperate.

Oikawa looked down at her, a little confused, then he opened his door to let her in. He wasn't sure what was going on, but if he could help his friends and whatever love trouble they were going through, even if Iwa-chan didn't say anything, then…

Kiku barely looked at the bedroom, but noticed quite some references to aliens and space, and about three volley balls laying around.

"All right, so, what's troubling you?" Oikawa asked as they sat in front of one another, a little awkwardly to go on such a delicate topic.

"U-um…"

Kiku hesitated, now, not quite sure how to ask Oikawa anything. She closed her eyes to gather her thoughts, the setter waiting for her to talk even if he felt curious and impatient.

"Y-you know Hajime better than anyone so does… did he ever mention… wanting to… do things with me?" She finally asked, blushing.

"You mean… touchy things? Physical things like… sex?" Oikawa asked to be clear, she nodded, blushing even more, "Well… no?"

She immediately looked dejected, looking down at her hands and shoulders dropping.

"But he's not the type of guy to say much about his relationship anyway. Truth be told he never really talks about you."

She looked up to him, but Oikawa quickly realized that his words did not have the expected effect – she looked like she was about to cry.

"I-I mean! Iwa-chan is very discreet, I'd even say he's _shy_ when it comes to _you know_ , sexuality! We don't talk much about it because it makes him uncomfortable, we usually just tease him because he's so, y'know, _inexperienced_. But that was before you came into the picture because even if he didn't say anything, I'm certain you two got some physical experience, right?"

When Kiku didn't answer, he realized what was troubling her.

"Oh… you didn't… you _did_ do something, right?" He asked, brows furrowed because after two months of relationship and so many week-ends spent together it seemed impossible not to _at least_ have a few steamy make-out sessions.

"He… touched my breasts, _once_." She admitted, looking away in shame to reveal such a thing, "And we… kinda… w-we _did_ have a make-out session but only this one time… a-and I _tried_ to give him signs, to _get_ to him but he's… he's _always_ rejecting me… This one time was special and he told me he thought I was beautiful and I believed him but I also know that I'm not pretty or thin like the beautiful girls you, or Makki, or Yahaba-kun, or Mattsun, date all the times and I-I'm not _good enough_ for Hajime and I-I think he's… I think he doesn't feel any attraction to me… I even think that he's realized he's not actually in love with me – maybe he mistook his feelings of pity and admiration for love…"

She looked down, unable to meet her friend's eyes, Oikawa looking at her sadly.

"Oh, Kiku-chan… Iwa-chan _might_ need a little time to understand things from times to times, but he _never_ does anything without thinking carefully. Why do you think he waited so long to start dating a girl?"

She looked up hesitantly and Oikawa continued with a confident, reassuring smile:

"He waited for the right person to love. And _yes_ , he fell in love with your personality before your looks but don't think he would lie about finding you beautiful. Just because he doesn't show he's attracted to you doesn't mean he isn't – _believe me_ , you missed all the longing stares and all the times he let slipped comments about you! And that's a _lot_ of slips of tongue from Iwa-chan!"

"T-then why does he act so distant? Why does he refuse that I touch him, or never even tried to actually touch _me?"_ She asked.

He opened his lips to answer, but had none to give. It actually confused him now that he thought about it. It was true that he (and Makki and Mattsun) often teased Iwa-chan about Kiku-chan, now that he had a girlfriend… but they never pushed him to the point of angering him or going too far ( _most_ of the times, they _might_ have received a few volley balls behind the head once or twice… or more). Whenever they'd tease him, he'd ignore them, or avoid answering, he'd blush and be awkward but he… never said anything… Which was weird. There were so many longing and staring, so many "she's cute" or "she's adorable" and "I love her so much" but never Iwa-chan had admitted being _sexually_ attracted to Kiku.

"Ah." He said, realizing the problem, "And he _never_ touched you?" he asked again.

"Only _once_ , my breasts; and it was very quick and it wasn't even _that_ good – please, don't tell him that."

"He _does_ lack experience. And if he's not trying to gain any, it's not going to get any better."

Silence fell on them, until Kiku finally glanced hesitantly at Oikawa:

"So… c-could you help me…? Give me a few advices on what he might like… or at least trying to find out for me… what he thinks…?"

" _Of course_ I'm going to help you. I never thought I'd actually help a friend get laid, but it feels like my time has come. I've been prepared for this for a _long_ time! And I'd never reject a lady's request, or the need of a friend. But I'm going to need some help and some more insight. I might know Iwa-chan better than anyone, but the one who knows _sex_ better than anyone isn't me."

Kiku sighed, knowing exactly who he was referring to.

"I don't necessarily want _sex_ right away but just, at least the reassurance that he's not disgusted by my body." Kiku mumbled.

"Is that a yes for Makki's help?"

"I suppose…"

And that was why, less than an hour later, Makki _and_ Mattsun had joined the duo at Oikawa's place. They had not been warned of why, and were surprised to find the two without Iwaizumi.

"What's going on?" Matsukawa asked.

"We're going to help Kiku-chan get laid~!" Oikawa exclaimed happily.

"…With one of _us_ or with her actual _boyfriend?"_ Hanamaki asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Kiku.

"I'm going to pretend you did _not_ just ask this," she replied, feeling disgusted and already regretting ever asking their help.

Kiku and Oikawa quickly explained what was troubling her, hoping they'd have some clue about whether or not Iwaizumi was sexually attracted to her, but without surprise, he had never said to either of them anything.

"He did touch your boobs, which means he knows what he's supposed to touch. That's a good start." Mattsun said.

"After what you said are you sure he's even _functioning?_ I mean, we've teased him for _years_ but he never actually said anything about even masturbating or his desires, we just _assumed_ so… what if the reason he's been so embarrassed was because something was wrong with him and we wouldn't know?" Makki continued.

" _I_ would know!" Oikawa exclaimed, offended he'd think Iwa-chan wouldn't tell him such an important detail.

"And we're taking showers with him _everyday_ , we would have noticed if he wasn't _fully_ _made_ ," Mattsun added.

"Yeah but maybe there's something wrong _anyway_ – I mean, we never caught him being _actually_ turned on, right? No matter the movies, or the magazines we'd look at, or the talks we were talking about! Which are very descriptive and detailed! But he never acted bothered by any of it!"

"…What are you even _doing_ when you're all alone?" Kiku asked worriedly, "And if by _functioning_ you're doubting of his capacity of… having an erection… that's not the problem here. He just has… an annoyingly good control of himself…!"

"Right, you gave him a blowjob. So he's functioning." Makki remembered having shared the information with the others, "How big is he? Because he never told us and we need to know – for the ranking in our competition to know which one is bigger and–"

"Makki, we'll discuss this detail later, okay?"

"You're just scared to lose to him in size, Oikawa."

" _GEH!_ Let's just get on with it! Kiku-chan needs our help!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Right, right, we got it, we need to push them to do something naughty." Mattsun concluded, shrugging it off casually.

"We've got it covered. And with the summer training camp coming up, we're going to have so many opportunities he'll be banging you within the first three days." Hanamaki added, staring at Kiku confidently.

She swallowed hard, blushing, not sure it had been such a good idea, asking _their_ help… also, she doubted of their abilities if they _never_ got Iwaizumi turned on in three years of dirty talk to the point of doubting of his capacity of having an erection.

"Why… why am I having regrets suddenly…?" She murmured to herself.

"Just trust us, Kiku-chan, it's going to be fine~!" Oikawa exclaimed with an encouraging smile, "Let's get started with the _'Let's Get Iwa-chan with Kiku-chan 2.0'_ plan!"

"Dude, you _really_ have to work on the titles of your so-called _'plans',"_ Mattsun said, shaking his head in despair.

"But it sounds good! And you're not cheering, you should be cheering!"

"Oh dear…" Kiku sighed, covering her face with her hands.

For some reason, which didn't reassure her at all, they asked her to go on with her life and _trust_ them. She wasn't sure what to expect but she went home and prayed she hadn't made a terrible mistake. She was about to reveal everything to Hajime out of sheer guilt when she received a message from him.

 **Sorry I won't be able to call you tonight, surprise movie night with the guys! I'll see you tomorrow at school! Good night, cupcake!**

She put her phone down, but she kept nervously staring at it most of her evening.

 _Movie night at Oikawa…_

"So, is there a particular reason why we're having a movie night in the middle of the week?" Iwaizumi asked, letting himself down on his favorite spot in his friend's bedroom.

"To celebrate the end of finals, duh!" Makki answered, rolling his eyes.

"Fair enough. I thought we could celebrate tomorrow after practice with the whole team, though."

"We'll do that too! Don't worry, you'll get to celebrate with your _girlfriend~!"_ Mattsun teased, elbowing him.

Iwaizumi stared at him suspiciously, catching that he was suggesting _something_.

" _Right_ … we're supposed to go on a date this week-end anyway."

"That's good, what you have you planned?" Oikawa asked as he brought the snacks and dvd.

"Aquarium." He answered, checking on his phone that his father had fed Godzilla.

"I see what you did there," Makki said with a smirk, "I'm proud of you."

Iwaizumi glanced up at him, confused, before nodding:

"Thanks? I guess? She never went to the aquarium before, she loves animals and the other day she sent me a video of a cute little seal who hid on a tourists' boat to get away from an orc who was trying to eat him. So, I thought it'd be great if she could see sea animals up-close."

"I would have been that orc, I would have knock over the boat and eat the seal _and_ the tourists," Matsukawa said very seriously.

"Thank goodness you're not an orc, then."

Makki decided to intervene, trying to drag Iwaizumi back on the trail he had been trying to send him on.

"But you have to have some _other_ intentions than just visiting the aquarium with Kiku, I mean… it's very dark, there are lots of corners and doing it in public is _very_ exciting."

Iwaizumi stared at him, slowly realizing what his perverted friend had in mind.

"What the– _no!_ We're not going to do anything! Have you thought of Kiku? She's too innocent to undergo such a treatment! We're going there to have a good time, not to jerk off!"

"Not _that_ innocent if she wants to fuck you _that_ bad…" Matsukawa murmured to himself, being hit by both Oikawa and Hanamaki.

"What did you say?" Iwaizumi asked, frowning.

" _Nothing_ , what Mattsun MEANT is that… did you consider that _maybe_ , Kiku might… want to go to the next step of your relationship?" Oikawa continued.

"W-we've been dating for only _two_ months, don't be ridiculous, it's too early to do anything…!"

"Dude, I lost my virginity after _one_ week of dating." Makki said.

"I _know_ , you bragged about it for _months_ afterwards," Iwaizumi answered, rolling his eyes.

"I lost mine after three weeks with my second girlfriend because the first was well, that's a tale for another day," Oikawa added with a smile.

"And I lost mine after a month," Mattsun concluded.

"K-Kiku and I are fine! We like it as it is, we don't need to rush things! We're both happy with how things are!"

All three stared at Iwaizumi who flushed, suddenly feeling under attack, cornered by his friends. They glanced at each other then looked back at Iwaizumi.

"Iwa-chan, at least tell me you _did_ show some love to Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked, even if he knew the answer.

"W-what are you asking? It's! It's _private_ , you don't need to know that!"

"Come on, we've all been through this, we're not going to judge and we're _definitely_ not going to get embarrassed. Sexuality is _normal_ , it's not a taboo – you have the right to feel sexually attracted to your girlfriend and it's nothing to be ashamed of." Hanamaki said, earning surprised looks from his friends because he had _actually_ said something serious and that didn't sound twisted.

"I-it's… you're! Why do you even want to know that?" Iwaizumi asked instead of answering and now they noticed it was his coping mechanism to avoid answering embarrassing questions, but they would not give up this time.

"Because we want to make sure that your and Kiku's relationship is sane and stable." Matsukawa said.

"It _is_ sane and stable!"

"But are you trying to _fuck_ her?" Hanamaki asked, exasperated, "Because that's the ultimate goal of a relationship in most cases – we're not in the middle-ages so _stop_ pretending to be all noble and admit it! Do you _want_ to fuck her?"

Iwaizumi's lips fell open in shock at the harsh words, blushing terribly. Even Oikawa and Matsukawa glanced worriedly at each other, before glancing between the two, wondering if Hanamaki didn't go too far this time with the way he had said it…

"I-it's… don't talk about Kiku and I's relationship like that, it's–"

"Oh, _come on!_ You have to give us something! Are you sexually attracted to her or not?!"

"YES I AM! Happy now?!" He shouted, an angry vein popping at his forehead.

Silence fell on the room and Iwaizumi looked away from his friends, too embarrassed to look at them. They discreetly sighed in relief, knowing that it was one trouble off Kiku's shoulders.

"So… did you _ever_ touch her or do anything that might suggest it?"

"…No."

"Can I ask why?"

"B-because… because it's Kiku! I-I can't… I-I don't want to… to…"

"You just said you _are_ sexually attracted to her so _how_ can you not want to get your engines _going?_ Forget starting the engines, they need to warm up and then, it'll require a kick start and–"

"I don't want to hurt her!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, cutting Hanamaki in his talk.

They all stared at him as he sighed deeply, letting his shoulders drop and shaking his hair in frustration:

"Every time she gets too close, or we start kissing and things get good, I _freak out_ because I don't want to hurt her but I _lose control!_ I don't want that, I don't want to hurt her by accident and I'm not sure I would be able to stop myself even if she asked me to!"

Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa glanced at each other, glad that his friends was finally opening up a little.

"Iwa-chan, you don't have to worry about that…"

"I'm pretty sure _all_ she wants is for you to lose control," Matsukawa added, earning a confused look from Iwaizumi but once again, Oikawa and Hanamaki pushed him off.

"What Mattsun is trying to SAY is that… you're in love with Kiku, _so much,_ and you want to keep her safe and it's a beautiful wish and very noble but… in the case that you were losing control, and she was hurt, if she asked you… you'd stop at _once_. Because you love her _that_ much. If you're willing to hold back all of your lust for _weeks_ with the thought of her safety in mind, one word from her will be enough to stop you." Oikawa said with a reassuring smile.

"A-are you sure…? But what if something goes wrong and I hurt her anyway, or what if I don't hear her asking me to stop, or what if–"

" _What ifs_ are not going to help you. If anything, holding back everything will end up coming back to bite you in the ass. Instead of not saying to Kiku you want her and let her insecurities kick in, why don't you two talk about it and set up boundaries? You'll take it slow and this way, everyone is happy." Hanamaki said.

Everyone stared at him, stunned once again.

"What? Don't look so surprised! I _too_ can say some good stuff every once in a while!" He exclaimed.

"It's… it's surprisingly nice of you…" Iwaizumi finally said.

"I _am_ nice. Which is _why_ you're going to follow my wise advice and when you'll go to that aquarium, you're going to grab her behind, at least _once_." Hanamaki said.

Iwaizumi blushed but for once, he didn't avoid the topic or refused the possibility of it happening.

 _The following day, last practice before the summer training camp…_

At the end of practice, while the first and second years were putting everything away for the week-end, the third-years gathered to discuss the plan: the team was to gather for ice-cream for the end of finals and beginning of holiday – the coaches were offering. After changing clothes, or simply putting on pants to avoid catching a cold, everyone went to the nearby convenience store. The ones who wanted more to eat went to get their own snacks while Hanamaki and Oikawa volunteered to go get the ice-creams for everyone.

"Remember I can't have one with milk," Kiku told them before they left.

"Any more allergies we should be aware of?" Oikawa asked everyone but they were all in their own conversations and Kiku confirmed that no one had any allergies (she was making the meals for them, after all, she would be aware of it otherwise).

Iwaizumi and Kiku remained behind to keep an eye on the team but without the other third-years shenanigan-makers, it was calm and quiet.

"Why did you change in your school uniform?" He asked, pointing at her summer school outfit, even if it was missing her usual bow and it was slightly left opened on her cleavage.

"I'm seeing Yuuna after and I prefer to wear my school uniform," she answered sheepishly.

"So, I won't see you until tomorrow?" He concluded, knowing they'd part their own ways after the team gathering.

He looked perfectly fine but Kiku bit on her lower lip and couldn't help but leaned towards him, a curious smile appearing on her face:

"…Would you prefer I'd spend time with you afterwards?" She asked.

He glanced down at her, flushing a little at how cute she looked with her hair around her face, her eyes sparkling, cheeks flushed with this mischievous smile…

"N-no, not really… I know you don't get to spend as much time as you wished with Yuuna, so it's fine." He answered, glancing away.

 _GOOD that you don't spend too much time with my rival_ … He added to himself.

"We're here~! With the ice-creams~!" Oikawa suddenly announced, coming back with Hanamaki and a few more players who had gone to get personal items and snacks.

They started the distribution according to everyone's tastes. Hanamaki gave a popsicle to Kiku, the long, colorful kind; she smiled, glad he had listened to her (for once). Oikawa, on the other hand, almost got smacked by Iwaizumi when he gave him a Godzilla ice-cream – the kind for _children_.

"I thought it'd make you happy, Iwa-chan! We haven't eaten those since we were kids!" He exclaimed.

"If you want something else, I don't mind exchanging," Mattsun said.

"It's fine! But I know the only reason why you chose this one for me is to make fun of me! Children are the ones to eat this ice-cream!"

"Well, you're as short as a child, so the mistake is understandable," Matsukawa added, already putting his own ice-cream in his mouth.

Iwaizumi glared at him for saying that and a few minutes later, the whole team was sitting in small groups in a nearby park, unusually silent as they were focused on eating their ice-creams before it'd melt completely.

"Is it good?" Kiku asked Hajime.

"Mm. Yeah. You want to taste?" He asked, showing it to her.

She gave him an apologetic smile, sighing a little.

"She can't, it's got milk in it," Makki commented.

"Oh, right, I had forgotten…"

"It's fine, do you want to taste mine?" Kiku asked instead.

"No, thanks," he answered, not wanting to take the risk that some of the vanilla and chocolate ice-cream from his mouth would go on her popsicle and make her sick.

She kept staring at him as she put it in her mouth, wondering whether or not there was a good reason for refusing. Perhaps he'd feel awkward about sharing food in front of others – even if he had proposed to her first… She didn't realize that she put the long popsicle in her mouth, slowly sliding it in and out of her mouth until it escaped with a popping sound.

Hajime – and the others – stared at her and he couldn't help but flush a little, quickly looking away, reminded of the amazing blowjob she had given him a few weeks ago. He tried to cool himself with his ice-cream but caught sight, in the corner of his eye, of Oikawa elbowing Hanamaki with a huge grin. Hajime glared at them for staring at his girlfriend when she was sucking on her ice-cream with dirty thoughts going through their perverted minds. Little did he know they were just excited _he_ had noticed it as well and had flushed. Iwaizumi and Kiku didn't know that the one who had proposed the idea of ice-cream for the team to the coaches was _Hanamaki_. And _of course_ , he didn't choose her ice-cream shape just because it was _safe_ for her.

After a moment he considered safe, Hajime glanced once again, not realizing his friends were observing closely all of his reactions. Kiku had to use her thumb to keep some melting sorbet to not drip along her chin – Hajime blushed and breathed heavily, trying to stay calm. She glanced up at him curiously and seemed to finally understand what might be going on in his head – and she understood that it was Makki's plan all along… Too lost in her thoughts, Kiku didn't realize that some of the ice-cream had melted and fell off. She startled when she received some of it in her cleavage, already sliding down against the curve of her breast.

"Oh…"

She quickly caught the bit of ice-cream before it'd escape in her bra, sucking it off her fingers while Hajime stared with wide eyes and blushing cheeks, his gaze now focused on her cleavage. She didn't notice him staring when she took a handkerchief to clean herself, showing a little of her bra.

"Need help to clean that off?" Hanamaki proposed with a grin, "Perhaps Iwaizumi should just lick it off."

Kiku gasped, blushing while Iwaizumi turned towards him with a stunned but still murderous expression on his face. A few of their kouhais had heard and several flushed, glancing at the breasts of their manager they had tried so hard to ignore when ice-cream had fallen against her cleavage.

"I–"

Hajime was interrupted when his own ice-cream that had melted too much (he had been too busy staring at Kiku to actually eat it) fell off right on his crotch. He clenched his teeth at the cold sensation while his friends snickered, wondering if Hanamaki wasn't a magician of some sort.

"Perfect timing," he said, winking at Kiku, "You'll get to lick ice-cream off each other, this way, no one is jealous."

"She can't, _milk_ ," Oikawa said with a pout.

"That's not the point of my remark, Oikawa," Hanamaki answered, glad the couple was blushing, catching on what he was trying to do.

She blushed, quickly swallowing the last bits of her ice-cream before keeping the stick in her mouth, not having anywhere else to put it, and taking another handkerchief she handed her boyfriend. He gladly took it, cleaning himself while she used her water bottle to wet another handkerchief.

"You should get changed, the school isn't that far and you won't look quite as awkward when you'll go home," Kiku said.

"Or you could just take of your pants, you have your training shorts under anyway," Oikawa said, earning a hard glance from Kiku, "Oh. _Or_ you could go back and get changed at school."

"Nah, I'll take it off here, there's no one beside the team anyway." He said, already standing up and glancing around to make sure there was no passerby.

Kiku sighed while he quickly took off his pants, no one really caring, she started biting annoyingly on her popsicle stick. She had hoped that if Hajime had gone off to get changed, she would have accompanied him and with the way he had looked at her before she had hoped he'd be aroused enough for a few heated kisses. But _no_ , Oikawa _had_ to intervene and give him a reasonable plan. The setter, who had understood her intentions a little too late, sent her an apologetic smile but she ignored him.

"I'm going to join Yuuna now, I'll see you guys on Monday. Except you, Hajime. See you tomorrow!'" Kiku exclaimed, grabbing her bag.

"Wai–" He started but she had already gone off, waving at the boys.

He had been too busy putting his pants in his bag to have time to accompany her or kiss her goodbye. It was strange, she never missed a goodbye kiss… He stared at her leaving, feeling a little down he didn't have his kiss today…

His three friends noticed the apparition of his disappointed frown and they leaned towards each other:

"I told Kiku to play hard to get, it's working," Hanamaki whispered to them.

"Makki, was it your plan? The ice-cream accident?" Oikawa asked with a mischievous smile.

"I didn't expect it to go that well, but yeah," he answered with a chuckle.

"You smooth son of a bitch…" Matsukawa breathed with an impressed nod.

 _The following day, at the Aquarium…_

"Sorry, I'm late!" Kiku exclaimed when she arrived next to Hajime.

"It's fine, I just arrived," he answered, pushing himself off the wall he had been leaning against.

She was flushed from her running and before she had time to add anything else, he leaned down and kissed her lips. She blinked and smiled giddily.

"W-what was that for?" She asked, glad of his attention.

"You look very pretty, and I missed you," he admitted, flushing a little.

She blushed with a happy smile as he slid his fingers with hers and they started walking to the entrance of the aquarium, talking of everything they could. Once they were in the maze of diminished light and blue atmosphere, surrounded by fishes and ocean animals of all sorts, their focus quickly switched on what they were seeing. Especially Kiku, she was amazed at everything she was seeing, making Hajime smile as well. It was only a long time later that his mind wandered when he recalled what Hanamaki had suggested the other day…

" _It's very dark, there are lots of corners and doing it in public is very exciting."_

Hajime glanced quickly at Kiku, her eyes brighter than ever with the low, blue light… He swallowed hard, she was so beautiful, she was driving him crazy. His eyes wandered over her figure, her curves showing thanks to her pretty outfit and short skirt.

" _You're going to follow my wise advice and when you'll go to that aquarium, you're going to grab her behind."_

"Get out of my head, pervert…" He muttered in a low voice.

"What did you say?" Kiku asked, turning towards him.

"Ah, eh, nothing!"

She tilted her head in confusion and he pointed at a fish, flushing in embarrassment:

"This one! Look! It's… it's an… ervert." He improvised, almost biting his tongue in his embarrassing and shameful lie.

"I never heard of this fish before," she said, blinking, staring at a very common-looking fish.

"D-did you know there is a fish species called 'Oikawa'?" He continued with a smile, feeling a little awkward but this time knowing what he was talking about.

She immediately laughed, looking up at him with an amused expression on her face which him smile as well, thinking back on the expression his friend had done back in KitaIchi when he had found this fish in a biology book:

"Really? I can't help but imagine a fish with Oikawa's face!"

"True! He'd look stupid!" He laughed.

"Don't be so rude! He's your best friend!" She exclaimed, slapping his arm slightly.

He chuckled and realized that she didn't move away from him, still gazing into the vast view of the ocean. He glanced down at her and he caught sight of her cleavage, swallowing hard when he thought back on what had happened the previous day with the popsicle incident. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought back on it a few times ever since, Hanamaki's teasing had unfortunately gotten into his head. Obviously, it lead back to remembering the one time he had seen her breasts… Hajime licked on his lips, his throat suddenly feeling dry, his eyes wandering over her body a few more times. Finally, he put his hand against the curve of her back, a little lower than usual but she didn't seem to mind, still reading whatever was written about this aquarium in the flyer she had been carrying around since they had entered. His hand slowly wandered south, until he felt the beginning of the curve of her behind, his eyes automatically going down. He could imagine it, how beautiful it'd look, under this black skirt, with lacy panties… He wondered how soft her skin would be, compared to her breasts…

He put away his hand, flushing at his line of thoughts, determined to have it stop there but the flyer slipped from Kiku's fingers. She bent down to retrieve it and before Hajime had time to move away, with her move and slight turn, his hand was on her behind. By accident. She froze, eyes wide and red blushing. Well, _most_ of it was an accident but it was _obvious_ his hand hadn't landed there out of the blue if he had been touching her back casually, or if he had let his hand drop at his side. Too shocked to move, they remained like this a short moment, Kiku not quite believing his hand was on her behind and that he wasn't taking it away – but the shock might be why he kept it there.

"Mom, dad! Look, the mister is touching the miss' butt!" A child exclaimed, pointing at them while his mother threw an offended look at the two, quickly covering her boy's eyes.

Kiku straightened up at once, and Hajime pulled away his hand, crossing his hands behind his back. He apologetically glanced over his shoulder at the family but the father gave him a sharp, proud nod. Hajime quickly looked back in front of him, so red he looked purple in the blue light.

"Um… s-sorry about that… it was… an accident…" He murmured awkwardly, not daring to glance in Kiku's direction.

She glanced up quickly at him, just as red, but she smiled to herself…

"Just tell me one thing… was it a _hundred_ percent of an accident?" She asked in a low voice, still smiling lightly.

He glanced at her then looked away, biting on his lower lip in shame. She chuckled at his adorable embarrassment, bumping her hips against his and remaining at his side, close enough that they could feel each other's warmth.

"Don't worry, it's forgiven, Hajime. As long as you don't traumatize more children." She said, trying to lighten the mood and it worked.

"I think the mom was more traumatized than her boy, though…" He replied with an amused smile.

They glanced at each other with amused expressions, relaxing again. It was reassuring for both that they could have awkward moments like that but still be themselves and relax soon after. It proved they weren't in the awkward first stage of their relationship.

Kiku was slowly realizing that Hajime wasn't as disinterested as she had thought, and he was slowly realizing she wasn't as innocent as he had thought.

Quickly enough, she looked back at the aquarium, continuing her reading. Hajime discreetly sighed in relief, quickly looking back at her face. Her soft expression, her amazed smile and her eyes… her blue eyes were as bright as the light surrounding them, sparkling like jewels hidden in the depths of the ocean…

Sensing a gaze on her, Kiku glanced up, noticing that he was staring at her with a tender expression and soft smile.

"Y-yes?" She hesitated, flushing a little under his intense gaze.

"You're beautiful…" Hajime said suddenly.

She blushed, lips falling open in shock. Her heart started beating faster, warmth of happiness spreading through her body. It wasn't the first time he was telling her, it was the second time and she had imagined that when he'd tell her again _"you're beautiful"_ it'd be a little less intense that the first time but… but it wasn't. It was just as intense. Tears of happiness filled her eyes, her smile getting bigger and brighter under the compliment leaving her out of breath. Her expression left him breathless so instead of saying anything, Hajime just leaned down, kissing her lips for a long and soft kiss. She kissed him back, her fingers delicately brushing his cheek.

He pulled away with a delighted sigh, brushing his nose against hers, which made her laugh adorably.

Neither had thought it'd be possible, but every _"you're beautiful"_ would as intense and meaningful as the first one had been and it meant the world for Kiku to be seen this way by Hajime. And for him, just seeing her expression of happiness, knowing he made her happy was enough to make his heart miss a few beats.

Holding hands, they silently continued their way through the exploration of the ocean depths, even though, for Hajime, it looked dull compared to Kiku's beautiful eyes.

* * *

 _The following arc is the summer training camp (I had wished Kyouken-chan woudl have been a part of it but he won't go back to the team until the return to school) + Hajime dealing with his fears concerning Kiku._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : The 'Let's Get Iwa-chan with Kiku-chan' Plan 2.0_

 _Don't hesitate to tell me what you think! :)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	47. Let's Get Iwa-chan with Kiku-chan' 20

_Here is the new chapter! I hope you'll like it! :D_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **starrat** : I'm glad you liked, and I hope you will keep loving it! :)_

 _ **xxXsilverXxx** : Of course Hajime means no harm but right now, you'll see at the end of this chapter that they're at a turning point in their relationship. Hajime will express how he really feels next chapter and then, he'll have to deal with it. YAY! I'm glad you're slowly catching up to Sowlmates, and glad you enjoyed this story as well, despite the tears! XD And as for Quiet Voice, I have many more chapters to write than for SOwlmates but I do want to finish it not long after Sowlmates so that Oikawa and Kuroo's stories can be written and publsihed in parallel, especially considering they're in the same timeline. :) _

_**LadyAmazon** : Lol, it's funny because in Sowlmates, Ayakou ended up banging with the sunset as background. I'll try to make something as romantic and cute for Kijime~! :)_

 _ **Aquafin** : Ahah, I hope you'll enjoy it despite the bits of drama filling the chapter~!_

 _ **xxjaelee** : Hanamaki always has great ideas - he shouldn't be underestimated, ahah! x)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XLVII : The 'Let's Get Iwa-chan with Kiku-chan' Plan 2.0

" _The feel of her head against his shoulder, of her familiar body, sent a shock of emotion over him. His arms holding her had a tendency to tighten around her."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Sensible Thing**

" _I think the most common cause of insomnia is simple; it's loneliness."_

— **Heath Ledger**

" _It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty."_

— **Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated**

" _She wanted to say 'Don't leave me,' but she couldn't do it, not again. She was so tired of begging people to love her."_

— **Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale**

" _Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely."_

― **Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart**

" _When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners."_

― **Tom Robbins**

" _When you don't talk, there's a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said."_

― **Catherine Gilbert Murdock, Dairy Queen**

" _I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me."_

― **Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free**

Kiku sighed in happiness, laying down on her bed. She wasn't sure what Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki had done exactly but Hajime seemed more forward with her. Or rather, the few moments when they got kissy and touchy-feely, he was more relaxed about it. She couldn't wait to go to the Summer training camp – it'd mean an entire week spent with Hajime, morning, day and night! And the rest of the team too, but Hajime was her main focus…

She sat up with a smile when Hajime arrived in her bedroom, carrying a tray of food and drinks he had gathered for the two of them. After their date at the aquarium, because they still had some time, she had invited him to watch a movie at her house. Once everything was ready, they settled together, cuddling and enjoying every minute spent together. Nanami passed by the room and upon seeing Hajime, she invited him of dinner and even if he tried to deny, she insisted and he ended up staying even longer, to the couple's great happiness…

"Do you have to go home right away?" Kiku asked while they were cleaning the dishes.

Hajime's heart sped up and he flushed but smiled anyway, impatient to spend more time with her, excited to spend more time with her:

"No, but I don't want to bother your parents," he answered.

"They're going to sleep soon, as long as we're quiet, they won't be bothered by us," she answered.

They both froze, flushing upon realizing the innuendo. Kiku glanced quickly, in panic at Hajime who bit down on his lower lip quickly before answering:

"T-then… thank you for letting me stay a little longer…" He said in a low voice.

Kiku's stomach fluttered happily, not quite knowing whether or not if he had understood her innuendo and would act upon on it or not. In case he didn't and just wanted to spend more time with her for the sake of it, she spoke up:

"T-then, we could watch the second movie? I really want to know what happens after the events of the first." She proposed.

"It sounds great," he answered with a grin.

Just like earlier, they settled down for another movie but it felt a little more tense, there was a little _something_ sparkling in the air between them. To try and smother their nerves, Hajime put his arm around Kiku's shoulder, keeping her closer. She glanced at him and smiled as he kissed the top of her head. Hesitantly, she let her hand rest on top of his thigh and he didn't seem to mind. They turned to keep watching the movie, reacting everytime they heard noise from her parents in the hall.

Hajime glanced down when Kiku suddenly put her head on his shoulder and he realized she had fallen asleep. The movie was not exciting enough to keep her awake after a day filled with so many emotions… He sighed, realizing he had had too many hopes for how the evening would go. Relaxing suddenly, he ended up falling asleep as well.

Both were woken up when Nanami went to check on them and found them, cuddled and asleep.

"Wake up," she told them, turning off the movie, "It's too late for you to walk home, Hajime. Perhaps you should stay here for the night."

Hajime and Kiku, who had been slowly waking up from their slumber, startled and flushed but thankfully, Nanami didn't seem to notice their reaction. They were much more awake now.

"U-um, I-I shouldn't…" He answered, weakly trying to find a good reason to go home.

"I'm not letting you walk in the dark when it's so late. We have a futon, you can stay here as long as you need." She said, exiting the bedroom to go to sleep.

Kiku and Hajime glanced at each other, remaining silent for a moment.

"S-she's right, it'd be dangerous for you to walk home now…" She murmured, flushing at the perspective of spending a night with Hajime.

"I-I suppose," he answered even though they both knew he was only fifteen minutes away if he hurried and that he most likely wouldn't be assaulted by some creep.

But it was the perfect excuse to spend more time together. It wasn't the first time they'd sleep in the same room, they had even slept in the same bed together, but this time, no alcohol was involved. It was the best and worst perspective: the best because they were conscious of everything going on between them, and the worst because they were conscious of _everything_ going on between them.

"I-I'll take out the futon… do you, um, need clothes?" She asked, standing up to get everything.

"I, uh, I have an undershirt… but um, I don't have anything else other than my… underwear."

"…It's fine, you can sleep in your underwear, I don't mind. Unless you're cold at night?" She asked.

"I don't think I'll get cold," he replied breathlessly, staring straight at her.

Kiku looked back at him, swallowing hard, but he quickly spoke up again:

"I-I mean! We're… in summer, so… it's pretty hot, even at night…"

"Right, of course, yes! It's the summer… So… just the futon… You should go in the bathroom to get changed while I prepare everything. Do you want to take a bath or–" She murmured to herself.

"Nah, it's late, I'll just… take a bath tomorrow when I'll get home. I'll just clean myself up to not… y'know… stink." He answered awkwardly.

She nodded and he escaped in the bathroom. She took a deep breath, blushing and hurrying to put down the futon next to her bed, hoping it wouldn't be used, and then gathering her own stuff, spending long minutes choosing her underwear and pajamas. In the bathroom, Hajime took a deep breath as well, passing his hands over his face, trying to calm down his heart. Suddenly needing to talk to someone who would know what to do in this situation, he reached for his phone, patting his pockets but realizing he had forgotten it in Kiku's bedroom. He cursed himself, trying to find a solution on his own.

A few minutes later, he came out, wearing just his undershirt and boxers and joining Kiku. She stood up, tried hard not to stare too long at him when his muscular arms and legs were showing – and he was wearing only his boxers which was enormously distracting! Hajime avoided glancing her way, feeling a little awkward as she hurried into the bathroom, he immediately reached for his phone, calling his emergency contact but swearing when Oikawa didn't answer.

"Damn you, Oikawa! Why do you never answer when I need you?" He muttered against his phone.

He glanced at the window, seeing the light still on in Hanamaki's room… but he also knew what 'advice' Makki would give him and it was a big no.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, the moment Kiku had entered it, she had taken out her phone she had taken with her and called Oikawa who answered quickly.

" _Yes?"_

"Oikawa-kun! I need your help!" She exclaimed, trying to keep her voice down to not be heard by anyone, "Hajime is staying the night with me, I'm not sure what to do!"

It took a moment for Oikawa to understand the situation, and why she was panicking but he immediately rejoiced:

" _It's great, Kiku-chan! It's a golden opportunity!"_

He gasped over the phone:

" _Oh my goodness, it's a GOLDEN opportunity, you can't let it go away! All right, so, where are you and what will you do?"_

"I'm in the bathroom, I'm about to take a shower and get in pajamas – he's only wearing his underwear and an undershirt…! Have you seen his arms, he's so–"

" _Kiku-chan, focus! You can't get distracted yet! All right, are you shaved?"_

"Of course!"

" _Make sure you smell good but no perfume or anything or it'd be obvious – your pajamas and underwear, what are they?"_

"U-um, casual lacy underwear and short shorts but not too short either," she answered.

" _Pretty but not desperate, it's perfect~! Now, hurry up to join him before his excitement dies down!"_

"Y-yes!"

Oikawa ended the call with a proud smile for his friends but noticed a missed call and message from Iwaizumi:

 **Why do you never answer when I need you?! Damn you, Trashykawa!**

"You'll thank me later, _like always_ , Iwa-chan~!" He hummed, ignoring the text.

Kiku hurried, making sure to look good but still casual enough to not seem too desperate, then, once satisfied, she hurried back in her bedroom, finding Hajime laying on his stomach, on the futon… and asleep. She opened her lips to call him but just sighed, letting herself lean against the door. She closed her eyes tightly, crunching up her nose to not voice out her frustration. Finally, she let out another, heavy sigh and turned off the lights, going to her bed and laying down on top of it. She glanced down at Hajime several times but when his even breathing continued on, she realized that there was no way he'd wake up. And she didn't have the heart to wake him when he looked so peaceful…

"Goodnight, Hajime…" She whispered, sitting up to take off her pretty bra and throwing it at the edge of her bed before rolling on the side.

The moment she had turned her back and her breathing seemed to calm down, Hajime opened his eyes in the mid-darkness. He glanced up at her, making sure she was asleep before rolling on his back, letting out a heavy sigh. He bit on his lower lip, feeling anxious and frustrated, too much to fall asleep now… but he didn't have the heart to wake her up and explain he had faked being asleep.

 _I'm such an idiot_ … he realized too late, putting his hands on his face and trying to keep himself from voicing out loud his frustration.

 _On Monday,_ _beginning of the summer training camp_ _…_

"Is everyone here?" Iwaizumi called for the team gathered in front of their changing-room with their many bags for the week of intense training.

"Yes!" Several answered, Kindaichi's voice being loudest of all.

"He's excited," Makki murmured to his friends while Mattsun yawned.

"He's a first-year, he hasn't faced Iwaizumi's summer training regiment yet. So pure and innocent." He answered while Iwaizumi sent them a harsh look from over his shoulder.

"We're going to put our bags in the class we'll stay in before starting training so don't forget anything behind! Before that, a few rules to remind you because I know your brains don't remember the Golden Week." Iwaizumi continued with a stern gaze, "The regulars are in the same room so we can discuss strategies there–"

"It's not an actual rule but we always end up talking more than necessary at night~!" Oikawa remarked, "Especially about volleyball and girls!"

"Not necessarily in this order," Makki added with a grin, making a few young ones flush.

"Hanamaki, Oikawa, do I have to get you to running _now_ or will you listen to what I say considering most of it concerns you two in particular!" Iwaizumi growled, making them look sheepish for a few seconds, "As I was saying, the rules: no running anywhere in the building, if you take snacks or drinks you throw it away in the _damn bin_ – that's why it's here for, if you want to pull all-nighters it's your choice but I won't go easy on you so phones off after midnight! No girlfriends sneaking in at night–"

"Aaaw, that's too bad for you and Kiku-chan~!" Oikawa intervened, making both flush.

"-And _lastly_ , the rule that was created because of last year's _accident_ : no porn, no hentai, no magazine that involves naked people – _Hanamaki_ listen to me, damn it! No porn, you heard?!"

"Once again, last year's accident was _not_ my fault but Oikawa's!" He exclaimed.

"HEY!"

Iwaizumi glared at them while the second-years remembered with flushes on their cheeks what had happened the previous year, making the first-years curious but in the same time, they didn't have the courage to ask.

"Basically, you don't do anything these three idiots would do _or_ that would piss off Mizoguchi, got it?" Iwaizumi exclaimed, pointing behind him at his three friends.

Kiku approached him and after pulling at his sleeve to get his attention, she gave him a message written on a paper. He looked back at Kiku.

"The manager has a word to say," he said, startling her as she had hoped _he'd_ be the one to talk for her.

"U-um… f-firstly, if you want anything in particular to eat, d-don't hesitate to ask me…" She started, many happy whispers erupting at that (what a difference from the impressed and slightly frightened looks on their faces when the Ace was talking, now they all felt reassured), "If you have any question that doesn't involve volleyball, come to me, I'll be the one to manage everything that doesn't directly concern the training. Don't worry, everything will go fine and you'll be even stronger after this week of training!" She finally exclaimed as a conclusion.

They all smiled to their manager, Iwaizumi standing next to her with a proud grin on his face.

"Now, we'll go to the rooms with our bags, don't forget anything behind!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, guiding the rest of the pack.

"Oooosss!"

"I'm staying here to guide the ones who might be late," Kiku said with a smile.

"Good idea, Kiku-chan~!" Oikawa hummed, leaving it to her to hurry behind Matsukawa so he could have a good spot to sleep.

"I'll put your bag in your room," Iwaizumi proposed, showing her his hand.

"Thank you," she said, with a smile.

He nodded and followed the rest of the group.

In the building, the regulars were settling down, Iwaizumi screaming at the ones ( _obviously_ , only third-years who should _know_ how it went on the first day after three years) who were already putting up the futons instead of taking their training gear.

"So…" Oikawa spoke up, approaching Iwaizumi while the last ones were finishing to settle down, "Considering you came back late yesterday, I'll assume you spent a good week-end with Kiku-chan~?" He asked teasingly, immediately attracting the attention of Makki and Mattsun.

Hajime glanced at them, wondering what he was getting at… before nodding with a little flush on his cheeks.

"Y-yeah, it was pretty fun." He said.

"You spent the _night_ with her, so, tell me, how was it~?" Oikawa asked as they followed the rest of the team from afar to go to the gymnasium.

Hajime glanced at him with wide eyes, quickly wondering how he had learned before remembering he hadn't come back home until Sunday… Hanamaki and Matsukawa grinned at him teasingly but he flushed and quickly spoke up:

"I-it was normal! Perfectly normal!"

"Come on, don't pretend you _didn't_ do anything, I won't believe you! It was too good to be true! Oh, what _I_ would do to my girlfriend in this situation, it'd be–" Hanamaki said before being interrupted by Iwaizumi.

" _Don't_ start!"

"You did do something, though? Didn't you?" Mattsun asked.

Hajime blushed, looking away, all four stopping at the entrance of the gymnasium to not be heard by their kouhais. They waited impatiently, wanting to know how well their plan had gone so far–

"We didn't," he finally answered, avoiding looking their way.

"…I'm sorry what? What did I just hear?" Hanamaki asked, leaning forward in disbelief.

"We didn't do anything! We fell asleep during the movie and–"

"Nothing, absolutely _nothing_ would keep you from getting naughty _after_ the freaking movie!" Makki hissed.

" _And_ the mood was pretty good for it too! B-but… I got too… _enthusiastic_ and I freaked out again and when Kiku came out of the bathroom I… pretended to be sleeping…" He explained sheepishly.

"You did _WHAT?!"_ All three exclaimed with wide eyes.

"I know, I'm an idiot…" He grumbled before _they_ could say it.

"You damn are! Only an _idiot_ wouldn't bang his girlfriend when they spend the night together after two days of teasing and innuendos!" Hanamaki exclaimed loudly.

"What did you want me to do?! It was only one day before the training camp! It would have been too awkward when we're going to spend the entire week sleeping in the same building! I couldn't just jump on her bed and fuck her like that!" Iwaizumi exclaimed suddenly, getting annoyed by his own awkwardness.

Hanamaki opened his lips to answer but suddenly looked behind Iwaizumi, straightening up. The three others glanced behind them and gasped, Iwaizumi paling then blushing then paling again. None of the four had noticed Irihata and Mizoguchi arriving just then, hearing Iwaizumi's outburst. Obviously, the two coaches immediately stared hard at Iwaizumi with unsurprised but slightly harsh gazes. The Ace swallowed hard and blushed while his friends remained silent at the awkward timing.

"It… it's not what you think…" Iwaizumi said in a low, ashamed voice.

"Don't bother," Irihata said, walking away with a sigh.

Mizoguchi glanced at the coach then back at the teenagers, shaking slightly his head:

"You guys think you're all clever but… we've been teenagers too."

"You _have?"_ Hanamaki asked with disbelieving eyes, pretending to learn about it, immediately annoying Mizoguchi who glared at him.

"I don't suppose I have to remind you _all_ , and especially _you_ Iwaizumi considering your girlfriend will remain in the same building as you, that anyone up and outside of their sleeping quarters after the lights out is going to be severely punished. Do I?" Mizoguchi said in a hard voice.

"N-no, sir…" Iwaizumi replied, blushing.

"Young ones these days, seriously…!" Mizoguchi mumbled, walking away.

"That's too bad, now Mizoguchi and Irihata both think you want to fuck Kiku. They're going to watch you as hawks." Matsukawa said, making the Ace drop his shoulders.

"Why do you look so disappointed, Iwa-chan~? It's not like you had planned to do anything with Kiku-chan, right~?" Oikawa teased.

He immediately straightened up, putting on a determined face – determination to not fall for their teasing and shenanigans. Kiku being here didn't change how the training camp would go. He'd keep an eye on the shenanigans of the others and make sure everyone behaved – _including_ himself and Kiku.

Everyone turned to Makki when he gasped suddenly:

"If they keep a close eye on Iwaizumi, does this mean _we'll_ be more free to do anything we want?" He realized in awe.

"Try _anything_ , and _I'll_ be the one to personally suggest your punishment to the coaches," Iwaizumi hissed.

All three paled, not wanting to get any more on Iwaizumi's bad side.

"All right, hurry up! Time to get started!" He exclaimed, advancing to join the others on court.

The summer training camp started, the mornings being focused on strength and stamina reinforcements and the afternoon with practice matches whether the team separating in different groups, or against other schools or alumni of Aoba Jousai. At the end of the day when the official practice ended, most remained behind to practice a little more – strategies, or their serves, or anything they needed to work on.

Hajime watched Kiku leave to prepare their dinner with Mizoguchi.

"Iwaizumi! Focus!" Irihata exclaimed, he was staying behind as well to keep an eye on what his players were working on, giving advices every once in a while.

The Ace startled and blushed but turned towards the court to serve, trying to ignore the snickers of his friends nearby. But he was so frustrated and annoyed that his serve, powerful as it was, ended up being a superb homerun.

" _Geh!"_ He exclaimed when he landed back on court, more laugh erupting from his friends.

"That's why you should remain focused instead of staring at your girlfriend!" Irihata scolded, shaking his head before turning towards the first-years, "Kindaichi, Kunimi! I told you to practice your aim, forget the power for the moment! And Kunimi it's not an excuse to slack off!"

"Y-yes!"

"Yes…"

Iwaizumi grabbed another ball to serve, but he still wasn't focused enough and it landed in the net. Getting more and more frustrated and annoyed, he grabbed another ball.

"Calm down, Iwa-chan, your serve won't get any better if you glare so terribly at the ball. It's an innocent ball, you know."

"Shut up!" He exclaimed, glaring at him.

He watched as Oikawa, despite his antics, threw the ball in the air and jumped, adding power and a terrifying aim. It hit an empty water bottle at the far corner of the court, almost breaking it in half with the strength he had used.

"You have to treat the ball correctly or it won't behave," Matsukawa remarked from further.

"Yeah, like your girl's boobs!" Hanamaki added with a laugh, putting two volley balls on his chest with a huge, proud grin.

It didn't help Iwaizumi calm down and he glanced back at Oikawa as he grabbed another ball from the cart they were sharing.

"How do you focus so intensely after such a long practice?" Iwaizumi asked him, frowning lightly.

Oikawa looked up at him, surprised he'd ask _him_ an advice. Not that Iwaizumi never did when it came to the serve, but he'd usually ask he coach directly. Not that he could ask the _coach_ , his girlfriend's uncle, about _focus_ when he had been scolded about being too focused on said-girlfriend.

"I imagine that I'm aiming my serve right at Ushiwaka or Tobio's faces." He answered seriously.

Iwaizumi gave him a long, hard look, silently lifting up the arm holding the ball. Knowing he was about to get hit, Oikawa immediately lifted up his hands defensively:

"W-wait, Iwa-chan! It's _true!_ I think of my goals, it helps me focus! I think about what I want most and I can focus!" He exclaimed, explaining the reason why he'd aim his serve at the imaginary faces of his rivals.

Iwaizumi stared at him with narrowed eyes then huffed, turning around to try serving. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes to focus on his goals.

 _Playing on the National team._

He threw the ball up in the air and jumped, starting to swing his arm just as he saw a flash of Kiku's face, and mostly, how beautiful she had looked laying down under him, naked and–

Blushing, he opened wide eyes in the middle of his jump, his fingers barely brushing the ball as he landed back on the ground, staring in emptiness, Oikawa's words resonating in his mind.

" _I think about what I want most."_

The ball fell on top of his head, rolling away. Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa stared at him, stunned he had missed his jump serve so badly. He looked just as shocked, but the blush on his cheeks revealed that for a short moment his focus might not have turned to volleyball – which also explained his moment of panic when he had jumped.

"Did you just–" Hanamaki started.

" _Don't!_ Don't say it! It's just not working!" Iwaizumi growled, grabbing another ball and trying to forget the memory that had started invading his mind.

" _Excuse you!"_ Oikawa exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips stubbornly, "My technique works _wonders_ – it's not _my_ fault that you're so sexually frustrated you can't even focus on volleyball anymore!"

"I'm not–"

Iwaizumi's voice trailed off when Irihata walked behind the group of third-years, they all turned to serve, pretending to be studiously practicing. And Irihata pretended he had not heard the last bits of their conversation. Iwaizumi's next serve made it over the net and within the lines, but it hadn't felt right or powerful enough.

 _I'm not sexually frustrated_ … He thought to himself, still feeling irked up for some reason.

He clenched and unclenched his fingers and realized that his shoulders were stiff – his entire body was actually. It wasn't _unusual_ , but usually playing volleyball helped him relax. Especially serves where he could go all out and put his strength into it.

"Damn it…" He mumbled, in a voice so low no one heard.

When dinner time arrived, Hajime remained silent most of the meal and mostly, he avoided looking directly at Kiku. His friends noticed it and Kiku as well, but she thought she might have missed him looking at her.

The players all took turns going to take their baths before the regulars gathered, talking volleyball or playing cards or being on their phones.

"The first-years are done with their baths," Kindaichi announced, appearing with his hair down.

"Then, it's Kiku-chan's turn," Oikawa said, eyes focused on the cards he was holding.

"Go tell her then, you're the Captain," Iwaizumi said, not going to give him the opportunity to have a look at the cards _he_ was holding, or change his while he was gone.

"You're her boyfriend," he replied calmly.

"I'll go, and watch her take off her clothes," Makki said, standing up.

Iwaizumi's hand reached and grabbed his knee so ferociously Hanamaki immediately froze, glancing down at the jealous boyfriend. Iwaizumi glared at him darkly and he sat down without a word.

"I was just joking," he said with a sheepish smile.

"I _wasn't_." Iwaizumi hissed.

Hanamaki paled, glancing away and catching Oikawa's gaze.

"Don't bother, I sent her a message to warn her," Mattsun intervened, laying on his side and holding up his phone.

All three turned to him and he glanced up, catching the hard gazes from Oikawa and Hanamaki:

"What? Why move your legs when you have a phone? It's not like Iwaizumi would have time to go put his head between her legs before coming back to finish this game anyway. He's not stupid, he knows we'd catch on what he would have done."

Of course, the entire room heard and everyone, second and first-years included, turned towards their Ace with flushed cheeks, knowing very well _whose_ legs he'd put his head in between. Iwaizumi glared harshly at Matsukawa who just shrugged.

"Ah, she's off to take her bath." Matsukawa said after he received a text, "She's telling Hanamaki to stay away from the bathroom while she's there. She knows the risks, the poor girl."

"You know what? I'm tired of you all! I'm going to take a walk, away from your stupidity!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, throwing down the cards and standing up.

"Are you going to join her~?" Oikawa asked teasingly.

"NO!"

He slammed the door so strongly that the lights flickered, making everyone glance up worriedly at the ceiling. Hanamaki turned towards Oikawa:

"Didn't you say that one of the reasons why you wanted Iwaizumi to get a girlfriend would be so that he'd stop being annoyed at us?"

"I… did…"

"I think something went wrong in your theory because he's even more annoyed by us than usual."

"I noticed…"

"Isn't it because you guys keep teasing him and trying to get him to bang Kiku? If he doesn't want to and prefers to take his time, then let him be. He's always been slow on the topic, after all, considering it took him eighteen years to get himself a girlfriend." Mattsun intervened.

"But he doesn't take in consideration Kiku-chan's wants and needs! It's important in a couple for the two to be happy and _not_ frustrated!"

"They're both frustrated now," Makki shrugged.

"They'll eventually talk about it, but until then, we have to keep trying to prove to Iwa-chan that there's nothing wrong with his desires for his girlfriend!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Isn't it what we've been trying since the beginning of that stupidly-named plan of yours?" Matsukawa said.

"It's not really working…" Makki remarked.

"It will! Eventually! Someday! I hope!" Oikawa exclamed.

"Talking about plans… I have a trick to set up, see you later!" Hanamaki said, standing up.

"Hey! Who is going to play cards with me now?!" Oikawa exclaimed but his friend only waved as he left the room.

He turned hopefully towards Mattsun but he just rolled around to show his back to the setter. Feeling annoyed by his friends abandoning him when he was _winning_ , he turned sharply towards their kouhais:

"Watacchi! Kindaichi! Come here!" He ordered, making both kouhais startle but they were too kind to say no to their admired Captain.

Iwaizumi went to get himself a drink before realizing he had forgotten his wallet so he settled for walking around the building, even more annoyed than before, hands in his pockets and frowning at nothing in particular.

"I'm _not_ sexually frustrated…" He mumbled to himself, but knowing that even if he kept denying it he _was_.

He was trying so hard to not hurt or push Kiku to things she didn't want to do that he had been holding back but after so much temptation, such as spending a night with her, he realized that it had been a truly stupid idea to pretend to be asleep. If he hadn't, they might have done _something_ and he might not be so sexually frustrated at the moment. Now he'll have to wait the _entire week_ of training camp with Kiku in the same building _all_ the time. Ironically enough, he had pretended to be asleep to not make things awkward between Kiku and him during the training camp – now, he'd be unable to look her way for the entire week.

Calming down a little, grogginess from the day of practice filling him, Hajime made his way back towards the classroom where they'd spend the night. He blinked in surprise when, at the turn of a corner, Hanamaki went by running faster than he ever did in practice.

"OI! No running!" He shouted, noticing he was carrying stuff in his arms.

" _Makki!_ Come back here!"

Hajime just had time to turn his head that Kiku arrived running just as fast and crushed into him so strongly they both fell on the ground. He grabbed her body to make sure she wouldn't get hurt and they both ended up breathless, on the ground, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

Hajime groaned and blinked, looking up and freezing completely. Kiku froze as well, eyes opening wide. She had fallen on top of him, with nothing but her towel to cover her body. Both blushed, unable to move or do anything.

Hanamaki turned around when he heard the loud crush but he bit hard on the inside of his cheek when he saw Kiku on top of Hajime.

"Waah! That wasn't the plan but it's your chance, guys!" He exclaimed, turning around and running off with Kiku's clothes.

"W-wait! Makki! My clothes!" Kiku exclaimed.

Hajime closed his eyes tightly, understanding what had happened – this idiot of Hanamaki must have sneak into the bathroom to take Kiku's clothes which was why she was running after him with only a towel to hide her body.

Kiku started sitting up, her bare legs against his. Hajime blushed, feeling warmth filling him, an all _too_ familiar warmth he couldn't ignore now. He tried to breathe calmly, focusing on anything other than Kiku being mostly naked and between his legs.

Realizing he wasn't moving, Kiku worried, leaning down towards him and, while still holding her towel with one hand, she touched his side softly, startling him:

"Hajime? Are you okay? You didn't get hurt, did you?" She asked worriedly.

She approached her hand to his face but he hit it away, suddenly sitting up and away from her:

"Don't touch me!" He exclaimed.

Kiku stared at him with wide eyes, lips falling open, not believing he had rejected her so harshly. Then, she felt the hurt and she watched him sadly, disappointed in him and feeling guilty to be disappointing _to_ him.

Realizing what he just said, he gasped and covered his mouth with the back of his hand, already opening his lips to rephrase it but Kiku was already speaking:

"…I know I'm heavy and ugly, but you don't have to say it so harshly…" She murmured, lowering her head until her hair slipping out of her bun fell in front of her face.

She stood up and turned around, running off.

"Wait! No! Kiku! I didn't mean it like that…!" He exclaimed, standing up.

He hesitated, not knowing if he should go after her when he had hurt her or if he should go get her clothes from Hanamaki… He just kept messing up, didn't he? How much more hurt would he inflict her?

Back in the room in which they were sleeping, after forcing Kindaichi and Watari to play with him, Oikawa was now whining because Watacchi _was_ the one winning. Hanamaki suddenly barged into the room, still laughing and dropping clothes.

"You're not going to believe what just happened!" He exclaimed.

Matsukawa stared at the pile of clothes and casually picked up a big-sized bra, immediately understanding where it came from.

"You stole Kiku's clothes. So cliché. You lack originality on this one." He said.

"Well, yes, that was fun, but _then!_ You're not going to believe what happened! She was running after me when she crashed into _Iwaizumi!"_

Oikawa and Matsukawa, and pretty much everyone else suddenly looked up, curious about what had happened:

" _Of course_ , she was laying on top of him and _of course_ she only had her towel on her so I'm pretty sure that right around now they're getting high on the cloud of love!" He exclaimed, sitting down and grabbing her panties, "You'd think she'd pick something else than lacy panties for a training camp, but no, she–"

Everyone startled when the door opened suddenly and they turned to see Iwaizumi. He was frowning, at them, but also at himself. When he noticed his girlfriend's clothes, and mostly Hanamaki holding her panties and Matsukawa her bra, he frowned even more. Matsukawa threw the bra at Oikawa who didn't know where to hide, Kindaichi and Watari, although innocent, still felt their lifespan shorten as they were just in the middle. Without a word but with a deadly aura surrounding him, Iwaizumi walked towards the group of idiots. He grabbed Kiku's clothes, her bra and panties then turned around and left once again. Slamming the door another time, making everyone jump.

"…It's not the face of someone getting high on the cloud of love…" Matsukawa remarked with a shake of his head.

Hajime walked quickly, knowing Kiku hadn't gone into her room, and he went to the only place where she could hide. He opened the first door of the bathroom, where they usually kept their clothes, and he saw her silhouette sitting down against the other side of the door behind which there were the showers and baths. It was a sliding door, white and see-through but he could only see her silhouette in a blurry black.

"Kiku…" He called, arriving near the sliding door.

He knelt down so he'd be at her level, hesitating before knocking at the door.

"I brought you your clothes. They… um, they didn't have time to see anything…" He said, lying but knowing it'd embarrass Kiku too much to know her underwear had been passed around.

He stared at her silhouette hopefully, but if she had reacted at his voice, she didn't make a move to open the door.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, I didn't mean it…" He added.

He waited but still no move from her. He looked down, ashamed of himself and what he had done earlier…

"I'm leaving your clothes here and I'm watching the door to make sure no one will interrupt you again." He said, putting down the clothes carefully.

He was about to stand up when the door slid open a little. He glanced curiously, worried about Kiku but she only let her hand come out, grabbing his wrist.

"…Were you hurt? Is this why you didn't want me to touch you?" She asked, but he still couldn't see her face.

He knelt once again, letting her fingers around his wrist. His shoulders fell…

"No… I… I wasn't hurt but… I didn't want you to touch me because–"

"Oh…"

Kiku let go of his wrist but before she could close the sliding door again, he reached out, grabbing her hand. Biting hard on his lower lip, he leaned his forehead against the door, closing his eyes tightly.

"Don't go… let me talk, _please_ …" He begged.

She didn't move so he continued:

"I didn't want you to touch me because having you, against me, mostly naked, was too embarrassing…! I wouldn't know how to face you if… if… I wouldn't have controlled myself… not that I _was_ in control when I slapped your hand away but I'm talking about a different kind of control– I mean, I–"

He stopped talking when Kiku slid open the door, well enough so she could see him. He looked up, his heart squeezing painfully when he noticed her eyes slightly reddened. She stared at him, a little accusingly, still a little hurt…

"Do you realize the way you pushed me away? It was awful…" She started in a low voice.

"I… I know… I won't do it again, I promise…"

She sighed and grabbed her clothes, sitting up a little straighter.

"If you promise…" She muttered to herself.

"Can I… um…" He started hesitantly, blushing and glancing away, "S-see you…? Like that? I mean, wearing just the towel, or not, I _mean_ –"

"Are you asking if you can see me _naked?"_ She asked, lifting up an eyebrow in confusion.

"Y-yeah…" He said, blushing and nodding vividly.

She stared at him, stunned he'd ask such a thing. Especially when they were on school grounds and anyone could technically barge in on them. It made her stomach flutter happily but she decided to ignore the feeling – if everytime he came begging and asking for something like that, she complied, he'll never understand what _she_ wanted.

"You're spending way too much time with Makki!" She exclaimed, closing the door at his face and standing up.

Hajime stood up a well, staring at her silhouette through the door, moving around and getting dressed.

"B-but! I thought! That you liked that, that it was what you wanted! The other night at your place, you–"

"You were _awake?!_ And _no_ , I don't want to make out with you when we just _argued!_ Consider it punishment! Get rid off your sexual frustration on your own, or ask your friends!" She exclaimed with a frown on her face, even though he couldn't see it.

"B-but…"

He supposed that it was a fair punishment for what he had done earlier…

"Besides!"

Hajime looked up again as she opened the door, dressed. She took off the pin holding up her hair and let it fall over her shoulders – the gesture almost made him whine and fall back on his knees to beg her but he was too proud.

"It's no fun if you see me get dressed. I'd rather have _you_ undress me." She said with a wink, walking past him.

His mouth fell open at her words, his cheeks blushing at the suggestion. She smiled, apparently satisfied to have the last word. But before she could walk away, Hajime grabbed her arm and forced her to spin around. Her gasp of surprise was covered by his lips, suddenly kissing her. Kiku closed her eyes and was too happily surprised by his tongue opening her lips and invading all of her senses. Instinctively, she started kissing him back and his hands grabbed her hips tightly, pulling her against his body.

After a long, intense kiss, Kiku pulled away for breathe. Almost immediately, Hajime tried to kiss her again but she stopped him, putting her finger against his warm lips.

"That's it for tonight," she said, already stepping away from him.

"B-but! Y-you'd leave me unsatisfied?" He asked in disbelief, feeling his pants getting tight, but not tight enough to be noticed or uncomfortable.

She seemed thoughtful then she turned to him:

"Well the _one_ time I gave you a blowjob, you walked out on _me_ being unsatisfied so… each our turn for frustration, Hajime."

She walked out of the bathroom and he hurried after her, quickly catching up and turning around, walking backwards, to face her:

"Wait! _That's_ what this is about? Because I didn't want to risk hurting you? I don't know what to do to satisfy you!" He exclaimed.

"And you won't learn unless you _practice_ , like everything else! I thought you would have figured it out considering you're a volleyball player!" She exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

Hajime remained silent for a short moment before he grabbed her shoulders, pushing her against the nearest wall. He looked down at her, looking hesitant and confused:

"I… unlike volleyball, it's _not_ me I'd hurt if I mess up by practicing, it'd be _you_. I can't afford that." He said, shaking lightly his head.

Kiku stared at him, and the way his green eyes, always so honest, didn't quite stare into her eyes to say that. Even if he was so physically close to her, his arms at each side of her head, trapping her against the wall… even if she could feel his warmth and was tempted to just let him kiss her here without thinking of the consequences, she put her hand against his chest. She didn't push him away, but it was enough to make him understand that there was a barrier, and that he couldn't go past it with his handsome looks and breathtaking kisses.

"No. You can't afford being in a relationship with me." She said, looking straight into his eyes.

His lips fell open in shock as she looked down, a little sadly but mostly, because she has seen that it had hit home. She might have hurt his heart and pride a little bit by saying that, but they both knew she wasn't entirely wrong.

"Stop fooling yourself, Hajime, and figure out whether or not you want to _be_ with me." She added in a low voice.

"I… I–"

"Also," she cut, "You left the lights on."

Confused by the sudden change of topic, he glanced over at the other side of the wall, where the bathroom was still lit up. While he was glancing somewhere else and was disturbed, Kiku passed under his arm and escaped in the closest stairs, too quick for him to catch up in time.

* * *

 _I swear there are good reasons why their relationship is going down at the moment, and not just sexual frustration._

 _NEXT CHAPTER: UNBALANCED_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	48. Unbalanced

_I know it's only been two days since last chapter, but I'm preparing you guys a surprise I hope you'll like~! :3_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll like this one as well~!_

 _ **Aquafin** : Sutrggling in a relationship is normal, it's about how you handle it - Kijime is still working on it! ;)_

 _ **pinkdoughtnuts** : Relationships are always complicated! ;) Though, i've been never been in one as well so... I can't really say anything... "_

 _ **xxXsilverXxx** : I'm glad you liked the ending, I really enjoyde writing it! :D It's not over yet, don't worry. The real ending will be when oikawa's fanfic will reach its end. We'll see more of Ayakou and Kijime in Kuroo and Oikawa's stories, all four of my stories are entwined, which makes it so interesting! ;) I honestly don't know how painful Kuroo and Oikawa's stories will be but after Sowlmates and Quiet Voice, I think you can handle anything! XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XLVIII : Unbalanced

" _I want to be first. I know that's selfish, and maybe unattainable, and maybe shallow. But I just want to come first with someone. If that's wrong of me, so be it. I'll be wrong. But that's the way I feel."_

— **Charlaine Harris, From Dead to Worse**

" _She loved you, you know. You were the best friend she's ever had."_

— **Katherine Paterson**

" _I don't fear falling in love. I fear falling in love with the wrong soul."_

— **Unknown**

" _I only want you to love me in a way that my sadness will be something that will make you stay, not leave."_

— **Unknown**

" _Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets."_

— **Arthur Miller, The Ride Down Mt. Morgan**

" _Perhaps there could be no joy on this planet without an equal weight of pain to balance it out on some unknown scale."_

― **Stephenie Meyer, The Host**

" _There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life."_

― **Alain de Botton**

" _Love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living fucking worthwhile."_

― **Mia Asher, Arsen: A Broken Love Story**

" _No. No break. We don't need a break. I'm not perfect, but I get it. I can't see you run away from me again. So we stop this. We're all in, because there is no other option for me. You're my mate. You're it for me. You have to trust me."_

― **Aileen Erin, Becoming Alpha**

" _People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are… I just don't want that responsibility."_

― **Katja Millay, The Sea of Tranquility**

" _I care," he said in a trembling voice. "I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it seeming inconsequential compared to how I feel. Even if I am distant at times and seem as if I do not want to be with you, it is only because this scares me, too."_

― **Aimee Carter, The Goddess Test**

"Nice kill, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, their other teammates echoing him.

Iwaizumi glanced towards Kiku who was taking notes of everyone's results but when their eyes met, she turned around and went to take notes about the other match going on. He sighed while Oikawa glanced between the two. Their behavior had been strange since the morning, barely glancing at each other, but Iwaizumi refused to say anything and he didn't have time to interrogate Kiku. Last night, Iwaizumi came back from the bathroom but didn't say anything and went straight into his futon, pretending to be on his phone and to be still angry at them. But it was obvious that he wasn't angry anymore, at them at least, and that he was mostly disturbed by something that had happened with Kiku. Before they could pester him about it, though, Mizoguchi had come to ask them to turn off the lights and within minutes, Iwaizumi had turned off his phone and fallen asleep. Since the morning, he's avoided answering any questions concerning Kiku and he seemed very keen on spiking the balls with all of his might.

The rest of the practice went on as usual, Iwaizumi and Kiku not sharing a single word, barely glancing at each other. Everyone could tell something had happened, but no one dared asked either anything – mostly because the only ones who would dare ask their Ace couldn't interrupt practice. They all hoped the couple would eventually get over whatever had happened on their own, but when the hours turned into an entire morning, and then an afternoon and then the whole day…

"Where are you going?" Oikawa asked Kiku when the third-years entered the cafeteria to have dinner, after taking their baths last considering they had remained behind to over practice.

He was surprised to see her walk the opposite way when everyone had just entered the cafeteria and more than half the team still wasn't served.

"I'm going to take my bath while everyone is gathered here," she answered.

"Aren't you eating?" Iwaizumi asked, turning around.

His friends stared when the couple stared at each other – these were the first words he had told her in the day.

"I already ate before everyone arrived," she answered, turning away.

He watched her leave and finally, looking down at the floor, he walked towards the trays of food. Until he stopped and turned back towards his friends who hadn't moved:

"What is it? Aren't you going to eat?" He asked them, blinking.

"…Okay, I didn't say anything all day because I thought you were just busy or awkward with whatever had happened yesterday… but _what_ happened between you two?" Makki finally asked.

Iwaizumi opened his lips, glancing away and not knowing what to answer:

"Did you argue with Kiku-chan?" Oikawa asked, raising an eyebrow.

"N-not really… but… we just…"

His voice trailed off and the others gasped, opening wide eyes:

"Don't tell me you're taking a break?!" Mattsun exclaimed, shocked the couple would suddenly break off because of whatever had happened last night.

"No! Yes… maybe? I don't know…" Iwaizumi mumbled, looking down and frowning at himself.

Makki kept his lips thin, suddenly feeling guilty – whatever had happened between Kiku and Hajime had happened because he had stolen her clothes. If he hadn't done that, they wouldn't have argued and they'd still be together, being sickeningly adorable and always sparkling.

"I-I'm sorry…" He started, feeling a little awkward.

"It's not you. It's not even because of what you did… not really, it's just me…" He mumbled, grabbing a tray of food that Mizoguchi was handing him then walking away.

His friends followed him and they all sat down at a table to start eating but their focus was on Iwaizumi who just pushed around the food on his plate with his chopsticks, occasionally munching a little but not feeling hungry for some unknown reason.

"What happened exactly?" Oikawa asked, watching his reaction closely.

"…I told her something that sounded awful and I didn't want to. I always mess up and end up hurting her…" He admitted, looking down in shame.

They realized that Iwaizumi wanting to protect Kiku, and not hurt her, wasn't just about his physical desire for her and losing control. He was scared to make a mistake that would hurt her feelings, or her body. He probably worried he might leave a scar on her skin or her heart. Almost breaking her heart until they confessed, messing up their first date, not daring to touch her and reveal his desire for her… He loved her so much and he was so protective of her that he didn't bear the idea of hurting her in any way, but it only made things harder and more awkward. Until now he had mostly made mistakes – in his point of view, at least. He always tried fixing them, but the mistakes had been done anyway.

"It's not true at all, Iwa-chan, you did a lot to help her out! Kiku-chan is so happy since you're together, there's no way she'd hold it against you! You might not show her much attention but she knows you're shy, and she's shy too, she respects that! As long as the two of you are happy, there's nothing to worry about! No reason to hold back!" Oikawa exclaimed with a confident smile.

Iwaizumi looked up at him, thinking deeply about his friend's words but it didn't feel right. For once in his life, Iwaizumi wasn't understood by Oikawa, or anyone else. For the first time, he didn't feel like his best friend really understood him or knew what to say to comfort him.

"I think she _does_ hold it against me, actually…" He mumbled, frowning lightly to himself.

"Well, if you consider it from her point of view, I can understand why she'd be a little annoyed at you." Matsukawa intervened, the Ace glancing up at him curiously, "I mean, you've been dating for over two months and you didn't touch her _once_. You barely show her love, and yeah, the two of you are shy, but there's no reason to be shy when you're all alone. So _of course,_ eventually her insecurities would overwhelm her."

Iwaizumi shook his head, holding back an annoyed click of his tongue.

"It's not just about her insecurities _but…!"_

" _You can't afford being in a relationship with me."_ She had said.

Hajime looked down, biting down on his lower lip hard. He knew that Kiku was insecure about her body and herself, and he had hoped that his words a few weeks ago had comforted her enough so she wouldn't worry about his desire for her. Even if he had held back everything and haven't tried anything ever since. But these last few days, he had been even more aware of how he felt for her, not just his feelings of love, but his desire. Being in a calm, quiet relationship with Kiku gave him peace, he felt like he could control it all. But his lust? He had never felt this way about anyone before and he had no idea what to do about it. Worse, even since last night when she had told him these words, he couldn't stop thinking about it. What did she mean by he couldn't _"afford"?_ What did it mean for _her_ to be in a relationship? What did it even mean to be in a _relationship_ anyway?

He had always assumed that someday, he'd find a cute girl he'd fall in love with calmly, with luck she'd like him back and they'd start a normal, slowly evolving relationship. But his story with Kiku was so different – they had already gone through so much, there had been so many tears just because of her past. It was as if instead of going from step one to step two and more, they had directly jumped into the step ten of their relationship – _emotionally_ speaking. But when it came to the other side of the balance? The physical relationship? They were still stuck at step one. They hadn't been able to balance it all, not in time before they'd fall off and break.

"What is it about, then?" Hanamaki asked.

Reminded of his friends watching him worriedly, Iwaizumi glanced up, opening his lips to answer this question… and ask them what it meant to be in a relationship. They all had more experience about dating than he did, _obviously_. But he closed his lips. He couldn't ask them this. Not that he didn't trust what they thought was right, or that they wouldn't answer to him, they would probably help him out because as annoying as they could be at times, they were his _friends_. But they all dated for the sake of it, to show up with a girlfriend at their arms, having sex and doing everything everyone expected of popular guys such as them. Sometimes they had a crush on their girlfriends, or felt more, but it never seemed to be enough for the relationship to last. Between Hajime and Kiku, it was different… there was no doubt that before dating, they were in love but then, whose help was he supposed to seek?

Oikawa has never fallen in love because he never gave himself the opportunity; Hanamaki laughed at the idea of love pretending he didn't care despite his own insecurities holding him back; Matsukawa now shrugged it off after being cheated on by his first girlfriend but he still looked uncomfortable when it came to how he truly felt.

Hajime was head over heels for Kiku, she was his light of happy sunshine, he went to sleep dreaming of her smile and woke up impatient to hear her laugh. How could his friends understand the depth of his feelings for her when _he_ could barely grasp the notion of it? Undying, endless, devoted love.

His attention was attracted by Yahaba who stood up and brought his tray of empty plates over then left the cafeteria, followed by some second-years. Several other players started standing up, done with their dinner and about to go to their respective rooms. Everyone would start spreading and walking around within the high-school building. Iwaizumi wasn't done with his dinner now cold. He had to hurry so the regulars could discuss about another tactic they should try out the following day against the alumni of Aoba Jousai. But all he could think of was Kiku. Kiku eating dinner alone and taking her bath alone, all so Hanamaki, and no other idiot, would go and bother her like the previous night.

Suddenly standing up, his friends, who were still waiting for an answer, watched him with big eyes.

"I-Iwa-chan, your dinner–"

"Not hungry anymore, you can finish it," he mumbled, pushing away his chair.

"But you barely ate anything! Where are you going?!" Oikawa exclaimed.

Iwaizumi pretended not to hear, hurrying through the halls until he reached the bathroom. There was still light, which meant someone was using it. He opened the first door and heard the sound of water from the baths. It was quiet, and Kiku's clothes were on a side. He sighed in relief, now knowing that Kiku was safe and no one had gone to bother her. He closed the door but sat down in front of it, to make sure Hanamaki or anyone wouldn't pull a bad joke on her anymore. He watched out until he heard Kiku changing clothes through the door, then he stood up and left before she'd find him here. He didn't realize that Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa had followed him and observed what he was doing. They glanced at each other, not quite understanding what was going on with their Ace. It seemed like more than a banal argument between lovers, but he refused to talk and they had no idea how to help.

Iwaizumi walked around a little, to clear his head then went back into the sleeping quarters, finding the rest of the regulars in a circle, around Oikawa who was showing them some videos and plans.

"Ah, Iwa-chan!" He called, "Do you mind helping me out? You're the one who found this tactic the other day!" He exclaimed.

Iwaizumi sat next to him and they discussed the plans until Oikawa's phone rang.

"Ah, it's Ayaka-san! I have to answer!" He exclaimed apologetically, standing up to answer to this phone call.

He went off, leaving the rest of them to disperse into their futons, everyone tired after the hard training and the time spent thinking about tactics. Iwaizumi glanced at the door where Oikawa had gone…

Kanemoto Ayaka, the heiress of the Kanemoto group that would sponsor them both, was currently busy with her own summer training camp with the Fukurodani Academy's Group. Her boyfriend, Bokuto Koutarou, was a top five spiker and the Captain of a top school of Tokyo. Thanks to her, Iwaizumi had gotten in touch with him, to discuss Ace-things and volleyball training regiment. He was a nice guy, so in love with Ayaka that it seemed to annoy everyone around. But if he felt half as much love for Ayaka, as Hajime felt for Kiku… _perhaps_ …

Knowing that everyone was too tired or distracted to ask him anything, Iwaizumi went under his futon, pretending to go to sleep and sent a hesitant, awkward message to Bokuto. It took a few minutes, but he got an answer:

 **I don't really get it but if you're asking me what it means to be in a relationship with a girl you like then it's EVERYTHING! I don't think there's a meaning or a definition or whatever that comes with it, it's not rational, it's about how you feel, both of you! If you love each other and are honest to one another and trust each other, your relationship will only grow stronger! As long as my Ayaka is happy, I'm happy too but if I'm unhappy about something I'll tell her, and she'd do the same with me. I understood that you want to keep your girl safe, but safe doesn't mean happy. Happiness is the most important thing!**

Hajime was deeply thinking about all of these words but before he could thank him, he received another message from Bokuto:

 **At least, that's what I think!**

And then another:

 **Did I tell you that my Ayaka is the best thing that happened in my life? She's so beautiful and intelligent and incredible! She's talented and knows so much! She's so kind too! She's even helping out these rivals of yours – Karasuno! And you know, her eyes are the most beautiful part of her! And–**

Hajime stopped reading the passionate declaration of love, thanking the wing-spiker who was back in Tokyo, then they switched to a conversation on volleyball and their respective training camps.

" _Safe doesn't mean happy. Happiness is the most important thing!"_

Eventually, Hajime fell asleep still holding his phone, his dreams haunted by Kiku. Rather than just Kiku, flashbacks of the last few weeks… she had smiled and laughed with him but in his memories she kept looking away sadly, disappointed. The same way she had looked at him when he had snapped. Or maybe it was just his mind tricking his memories. He didn't know anymore when he woke up in the middle of the night, still holding his phone. The lights were off, everyone was asleep and Hajime didn't remember the last thing before falling asleep. He checked the time, eyes almost crying at the sudden and bright light from his phone screen.

He turned around and stared at the ceiling, thinking back on Kiku and his memories-filled dream.

" _You can't afford being in a relationship with me."_

Despite Bokuto's advices, he still had no idea what she had meant by these words. Or rather, he had an idea but didn't want to acknowledge it. It'd hurt his pride too much.

Stomach growling suddenly, he realized he was hungry – he had barely eaten at dinner, and now he was feeling the entire time of practice using his muscles. Too hungry to fall back asleep, he grabbed his wallet and quietly exited the room, going to the vending machines. It was too late for Mizoguchi to watch out but if he'd get caught, he'd just tell he had needed to eat something – which was, technically, true. What Hajime didn't expect was to find someone else at the vending machines, sitting on the floor, lit up by the light from the vending machine. He blinked just as Kiku looked up, stunned to see someone else wandering around so late at night.

"Ki… Kiku…" He started, approaching slowly, "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" He asked.

She lifted up a water bottle from her side.

"Same as you," she answered, glancing at his wallet.

"Right… I'm… um, I'm a little hungry…" He said.

As if on cue, his stomach growled, impatient to get some food. He hid his embarrassment by hurrying towards the vending machine, quickly buying some cereals bar, but cursing the loud sound it made, resonating in the silent night.

"After all the food you all ingest at dinner, it's shocking you'd still be hungry…" Kiku murmured, thinking back on the amount of food she had to prepare everyday.

"I… didn't eat much…" He answered.

She stared at him, with this gaze he didn't quite understand. The fascinating, mysterious expression she did, that reminded him so much of Oikawa when he was analyzing people. One of the first traits he had noticed about Kiku. Unlike Oikawa who observed people to understand them and bring out the best of them; Kiku observed people quietly, in order to understand what _she_ should do to bring out the best of herself. She didn't realize she was already perfect as she was…

"Are you feeling sick?" She asked, straightening up a little, worry appearing in her eyes despite the low light.

Hajime bit on his lower lip and sat down on the floor, back against the wall the same way she did, but there was too much distance separating them to his tastes. She seemed to notice it as well, to dislike it as well, but they didn't comment on it.

"I don't think so," he answered, staring at his cereal bar without opening it.

" _You can't afford being in a relationship with me."_

He glanced at Kiku but she didn't look at him, like she had done all day. He had never realized how much he needed her attention on him – he didn't usually appreciate anyone's attention on him but when it was Kiku, it felt good. Knowing she watched him made him feel more peaceful, less frustrated. He knew that as long as she watched him, if he glanced around he'd immediately find her gaze and he'd be filled with warmth.

"Does it bother you?" Kiku asked, breaking the silence between them.

"Eh?"

She put down her chin on top of her knees, glancing his way. Her blue eyes were the only things he could see in the mid-darkness, with the light of the vending machines they seemed to stand out even more than usual.

"What I told you yesterday… even if no one noticed that you were acting not quite like yourself, I noticed that you were lost in your mind all day. I… I've observed you for a long time, after all…" She said with a little smile, sounding a little sad.

 _She noticed… of course she noticed_ … He thought, lips falling open.

Oikawa might be the one who knew him better than anyone. But Kiku _understood_ him better than anyone.

"It does… I-I tried to figure out what you meant but… it just keeps confusing me…" He admitted, turning and approaching her a little to have a better look at her face.

"You didn't figure it out… of course you didn't…" She murmured, voice smothered by her own knees.

"I just– don't accuse me of being entirely responsible because you didn't tell me anything about how you felt! I get it that I'm an idiot when it comes to things of love, and inexperienced when it comes to dating but so are you–"

"I didn't tell you how I _felt?!_ I told you about my insecurities, about my scars! I-I didn't stop sending you signs but you ignored them! You can't say I didn't try to reach out for you but you… you _just…!"_

Kiku threw her hands to the ceiling and he growled, letting his head fall against the wall:

"I get it, you were frustrated and I didn't catch on in time! I was too embarrassed to act on how I felt and I messed up! I'm sorry okay?!"

"You don't even realize what you're talking about, you're just apologizing because it's the right thing to do!" She exclaimed.

He turned to her, lips falling open in shock:

"Well yes! It's the right thing to do because I don't want to… to keep messing up! What the heck did you mean I can't _afford_ to be in a relationship with you, anyway?!"

"Because you don't _act_ like you're in a relationship with me!" She hissed.

"I kiss you and I hold your hands! You're the first girl I've dated in… in _forever!"_ He exclaimed.

"But nothing changed, nothing evolved! You act with me today the same way you acted with me on day one! At this point it's not even going slow, it's refusing to move at all!"

"You can't say that– I've– I just! I didn't think it'd go this way! I didn't think it'd turn out like that! I didn't plan for things to be like that a-and our relationship, I didn't want it!" He exclaimed.

Hajime stopped breathing, immediately regretting his words. Kiku stared at him, lips falling open. He covered his mouth but she stood up, he followed her, feeling panic and despair fill his veins:

"W-wait! Kiku, I didn't mean it like that! I didn't, I swear!" He exclaimed, catching up to her.

He tried to take her hand but she pulled it away from him, so he moved until he was in front of her and before she could run away, he grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to a stop to look into her eyes.

"Please… I… I'm sorry… I just keep saying the wrong words…" He murmured, angry at himself for being so stupid.

She had a sad laugh, looking down.

"Not always… you always find a way to make me feel alive with just a few well-chosen words…" She murmured, thinking back on the times he had called her _"beautiful"._

Hajime must have thought back on it as well, but silence hung between them. Until Kiku looked up at him, her eyes glossy with unshed tears, but filled with something incredibly soft, despite her sad smile.

"I understand Hajime… what you meant by these words. I didn't want of our relationship either. I didn't think it'd turn out this way, I didn't plan for things to be this way. I've been in love with you from afar and I never thought you'd notice me and then… then… everything that happened between us was beautiful and I started dreaming and I think you did too but reality caught up with us and now… we're… I-it just doesn't feel right anymore, it just feels…"

Her voice trailed off and he closed his eyes, sighing deeply.

"It feels unbalanced…" He whispered.

She looked back at him, nodding lightly. He spoke up again:

"We moved too fast in our relationship–"

"We didn't move at all–" She cut, exasperated he didn't get it.

"We moved too fast on the _emotional_ aspect of our relationship!" He insisted, making her look at him curiously, "After I realized my feelings for you, after I learned what had happened to you it… it made me feel so… you trusted me with your deepest fears and it honored me and I've always wanted to keep you safe, even more after learning what had happened to you. And I know you're strong and you _don't_ need me in your life, but… but… _I_ _might_ … someday… I might need you more than I need myself or anyone else and it scares me _so much…!"_

He let out a heavy breath, realizing that all along it had been what had been freezing his heart. It had been what he had been afraid to admit and if he was scared, he couldn't _afford_ to move forward because it'd only get _scarier_.

Balancing the other aspects of their relationship, getting intimate, it'd mean making it _real_. Making it real meant he might get _so_ attached to her he couldn't imagine his life without her. Just thinking of being _that_ dependent of someone else's life, of _Kiku's_ life, a life so fragile, frightened him.

Kiku stared at him, stunned by his words, just as much as he was, but he looked back at her and continued:

"After I learned what had happened to you, Oikawa told me that this _trust_ , you sharing your past with me, and me accepting it all… he said that it had bounded us more than _years_ of dating could have done and he's right. Which is why our relationship is so… so _true_ when it comes to the depth of our feelings. But the other aspects of our relationship… we didn't– _I_ didn't keep up." He admitted, started to trembled a little, "Because I was scared…"

He paused, taking a shaky breath in, unable to meet her gaze:

"Admitting how much I… how much I _love_ you…"

They both held their breaths when he finally said _"I love you"_ but before Kiku could react to it, he continued, a blushing mess, an awkward stammer escaping his lips:

"Admitting how much I love you and how much I _care_ , how much I'm _scared_ , means facing _everything_ that comes with dating you. It means accepting that I am so desperately in love with you and I might never feel this way for anyone else in my life and I don't even want to because I-I know that you're the _one_ for me. You make me happy and feel warm and full of life a-and… I want to spend the _rest of my life_ with you. But you might not feel the same for me, you might want someone else later in your life, and with what has happened to you, you _might_ …"

Hajime looked down, voice breaking down. He clenched his fists tightly. He didn't say outloud the words they both knew resonated in his heart, in _both_ of their hearts. The real fear that had been plaguing his mind. Ever since he had learned about her past, ever since his father had told him it wouldn't be easy dating her, ever since… he had experienced the depth of his feelings and ever since he had seen her scars and kissed them…

 _You might leave me forever_ … He finished to himself.

If he accepted his feelings and everything that came with it, it meant accepting he might one day be unable to save Kiku from herself. He wouldn't bear to live with himself if it were the case. The fear that this day might come was haunting him.

Kiku's fingers brushed his fists and he looked up, surprised to see her smiling softly. She caressed his hands until he relaxed, unclenching his fists and opening his palms so their fingers would entwine.

"I know all of that…" She whispered, making his heart miss a beat in shock she'd know, "And I understand what it'd cost you to be with me… especially… if you want us to spend the rest of our lives together… I know that it's scary, dealing with me, and my scars that… might never fully heal."

Not just the scars of her back he'd see on a daily basis, but the scars on her heart that were still bleeding from times to times.

"Which is why I'm asking you to take the time to decide whether or not you want to _be_ with me. Not just as a high-school lover, but think of… the future, whether or not you are willing to take the risk to be with me for years if you'll still love me by then. I know how I feel for you, and I know how much I'm willing to do for you, but the one who has to take the most risks is _you_. I don't have anything to lose, but _you_ do so… _please_ , think of it… of _us_ … carefully. Take your time. Focus on the training camp, take days, weeks, _months_ if necessary, and then tell me… tell me if you're willing to overcome your fears and _trust_ me with my own life."

She went on her tiptoes, kissing his cheek tenderly before turning around and leaving him for the cold silence of the night. His hands trembled, suddenly feeling cold without her warm touch. The silence was smothering him without the comfortable quiet of them.

He thought back on what his father, and Kiku's father, had both told him when he had wanted to be in a relationship with her.

" _I don't want you to have any illusion that with Kiku you'll have a good and happy relationship, however long it might last."_

" _When life has been cruel to you, you have to carry it in your heart and continue life but this burden drags you down, it slows you down… Kiku probably wants to protect you, she doesn't want you to feel this burden, but she also cares for you the way she had never cared for anyone before… Figure out if you're willing to share this burden with her."_

Now more than ever, Hajime understood what his father had warned him about, what Shouta had meant with these words… He _understood_ and he _knew_ and a part of him was still scared, and another still wanted to be with Kiku, but… _but…!_ Kiku was still trying to protect him. Even now, even if she could just pretend they were happy, she's putting _his_ happiness first even if it'd mean she wouldn't be a part of his life. He had no right to let his fears get in the way of _her_ happiness… But he was still scared and he still didn't know what to do…

Would he be strong enough to share this burden with her?

 _The following day…_

Hajime glanced at Kiku as she walked past the table where he was sitting, with the other third-years, plus Kindaichi and Yahaba who were all playing cards. Lunch was done but they were taking some time off to relax and digest before going back to practice.

Noticing his stare, Makki grinned while Oikawa quickly leaned to look at the cards his friend was holding.

"Oi, Kiku, join us to play!" Hanamaki exclaimed.

Iwaizumi turned towards him with big eyes but caught sight of Oikawa before he could escape him.

"Oi!" He exclaimed, glaring, but Oikawa pretended he was innocent.

"Ah, sorry, I have to finish cleaning," Kiku answered with a smile.

"Leave it for another time and have some fun! You're always off doing something else when we have time to relax and have fun!" Mattsun exclaimed.

"Once I'm done, I'll join you," she said, escaping the cafeteria to go into the kitchen and finish cleaning everything.

"Perhaps we should help her out…" Iwaizumi said, staring at her from afar, doing the last dishes, "She's always working hard to relieve the duties off the first-years and Mizoguchi…"

"If you want so badly to spend time with her, just go," Makki said, putting down a card on the pile, making a few gasp around because he was about to win.

Iwaizumi glanced at him then lowered his gaze at his cards without really looking at them. He hadn't told anyone what had happened the previous night, partly because they didn't have time, and mostly because… he wasn't sure what he was supposed to share. It had been a discussion between Kiku and him, and even if he felt a little confused, he didn't want to share it with anyone else. He knew how he felt for her, but he couldn't ignore the fear anymore. He wanted to trust Kiku, to believe she wouldn't make a mistake but… but… what if he failed at some point in their relationship? What if he kept messing up and she felt so unhappy she'd end it? He wanted her happy, but how could he be certain? She was so good at smiling and putting up a face, she could fool him. Or maybe he just hadn't observed her closely enough.

Unconsciously, his eyes glanced in her direction once again, catching sight of Kiku pulling her hair backwards while she was leaning against the counter. Her lips were so inviting, her neck so–

"Iwaizumi, your turn," Hanamaki said.

He startled and threw the first card he got on the pile.

"Come on, you're not even trying!" Hanamaki whined.

Iwaizumi realized that he had just lost. He let down the rest of the cards and shrugged, watching the rest of their game in silence, his mind wandering off. He glanced once again at Kiku but she was gone from the kitchen. Cheek against the palm of his hand, he tried to get into the mood with the others, but he couldn't bring himself to really enjoy it, even when Oikawa lost against Kindaichi. Hajime was smiling, but it didn't quite reach his eyes and he couldn't laugh, not the way he usually did. They all noticed it but no one said anything, knowing that if he needed to, he'd come to them to talk. The coaches didn't notice anything as his results at practice were the same as usual, even better from times to times.

It was only during the afternoon break, sitting down and drinking water that Hajime realized why he felt so down and empty.

He glanced at Kiku talking with Irihata and Mizoguchi and his heart sped up a little to see her smiling.

 _Aaah… I miss her_ … He realized.

It was stupid because he felt sad but in the same time, he couldn't help but smile lightly, looking down at the ground. Their relationship might have been a little unbalanced, but he was the one feeling unbalanced when she wasn't here to make him smile.

* * *

 _The surprise will arrive soon! Also i can announce that oikawa's girl will make an appearance very soon! :3_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : ANCHOR_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	49. Anchor

_Technically, on my side of the world, right now I'm a day too late, BUT September 28th is the one-year anniversary of Quiet Voice! :D This is why I'm posting this chapter so quickly, to thank you for such an amazing support for so long! Hopefully, you'll continue reading this story and will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it~! THANK YOU EVERYONE! :D_

 _Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews, I love you guys so much~! :D_

 _ **starrat** : I hope you'll like this long chapter as well~! ;)_

 _ **TheLunaGoddess** : Communication is key, indeed, and they're going to learn it, don't worry~! ;)_

 _ **LadyAmazon** : Ahah, puppies and kitties are always appreciated~! Don't worry, the seriousness is going to fade away a little...! ;)_

 _ **Aquafin** : They worked out SOME of the issue but they still have a lot to talk about - to know, you'll heva to keep reading~! ;)_

 _ **xxXsilverXxx** : All the boys would argue about which one loves his girl more, and which girl is the best. They are all so terribly in love that they woudln't give up and remain stubborn until the end. The only way to settle down the argument will be w hen said-girls overhear about it and say "We know we're ALL the best, so stop arguing and competing, boys~!" to which they would all agree at long last. Oikawa's girl will be here next chapter, but don't worry, there is a LOT of Kijime in this one to compensate~! ;)_

 ** _WARNING : NSFW moment, indicated for the ones who want to skip it_**

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER IL : Anchor

" _I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can't ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn't expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won't kiss you on your neck again._

 _So typical of him. No! You can't ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance._

 _I'm trying, he wrote back. But you won't keep your distance from me._

 _I didn't dignify that with a response."_

― **Richelle Mead, The Indigo Spell**

" _I love your silence. It is so wise. It listens. It invites warmth."_

— **Ben Okri, Astonishing the Gods**

" _I am not actually tired, but numb and heavy, and can't find the right words. All I can say is: Stay with me, don't leave me."_

— **Franz Kafka, Letters To Felice**

" _I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."_

― **Marilyn Monroe**

" _Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys."_

― **Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven**

" _Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that's the thing—you're a couple, and couples can't function without trust."_

― **Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight**

"' _If you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?'–'Maybe I'd say what I feel more often.'"_

— **Arrival (2016), Dir. Denis Villeneuve**

" _You don't need another human being to make your life complete, but let's be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn't see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world."_

— **Emery Allen**

" _I want to be kissed with a passion. One that drives my significant other so wild, that when they grab me, they are actually the one losing control."_

— **Unknown**

" _Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing."_

― **Elizabeth Cohen, The Hypothetical Girl**

" _Do you know what really turns me on? What I find incredibly sexy? Kindness."_

— **Michael Faudet**

" _Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long. Good things come to those who wait."_

― **Jess C. Scott, The Intern**

" _The opposite of loneliness, it's not togetherness. It is intimacy."_

— **Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever: A Lovestory**

" _I did not always think he was right nor did he always think I was right but we were each the person the other trusted."_

— **Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking**

" _The minute they made eye contact they both knew. They said millions of words with that one glance. All of their emotions were portrayed through their eyes. They knew they could never go back to before."_

— **Unknown**

" _If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes."_

— **P.S I Love You (2007), Dir. Richard LaGravenese**

Hajime heard the sound of water moving around, then the door sliding open and close. He stood up, leaving his guard duty in front of the bathroom now that Kiku was done with her bath. He joined the others in the room, several glancing up curiously at their Ace as he sat down and glanced over Oikawa's shoulder to see how he was doing on the video game he was playing against Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

"GEH!" Oikawa exclaimed when he lost.

"You're terrible at this game," Iwaizumi commented with a smirk.

"Try and do better!" He hissed, forcing the game into his hands.

"I never back off a challenge," Iwaizumi answered, staring at his friends, all three getting fired up.

They started the game, Oikawa occasionally (too often) commenting on what Iwaizumi was doing but it wasn't enough to disturb him.

"Ah, Akiyama-san!"

Yahaba's voice, and mostly, his words, immediately made Hajime glance up, totally forgetting the game and while Mattsun and Makki cheered and Oikawa whined for his loss, he stared at Kiku, standing in the doorway. Her hair was still a little wet from her bath, she was wearing her cute pink and white pajamas and she had a shy smile on her face. Hajime's heart immediately went wild and he sighed lovingly to see her.

"I'm bringing you some papers Oikawa-kun has asked me, I hope I don't bother you," she started, entering quickly to give Oikawa said-papers.

"No way you'd bother us, Akiyama-san!" Yahaba exclaimed, earning a quick glance from Iwaizumi.

"You heard Yahaba, Kiku-chan~! Why don't you join us? You promised us to play cards when you'll be done with everything!" Oikawa exclaimed after he had glanced between Hajime and Kiku.

She glanced in the direction of her boyfriend and he glanced away with a flush. Kiku smiled in embarrassment at Oikawa:

"I… I don't know the rules… I should probably go anyway and–"

"No, no, stay!" Makki exclaimed, making her narrow her eyes at him, "We can play something else!"

"Truth or dare?" Matsukawa suggested.

"Perfect, Mattsun! This way everyone can play! First and second-years, come here too! We're all going to play!" Oikawa exclaimed, urging forward the kouhais.

Some sat out the game, too tired to play, or too antisocial, but they watched from the corner of their eye as the others sat in a circle. Hajime initially tried to sit it out but he was forced by Oikawa to stay, Kiku sitting at the other side of Oikawa, which didn't please Hajime. With Matsukawa's app on his phone, they went around, everyone doing a truth or a dare according to their tastes. Thankfully, despite some of their worries, it was rather funny questions and doable dares within the room. There were a few embarrassing questions and dares here and there, but it wasn't as terrible as they would have expected from Matsukawa.

"Iwaizumi! Truth or dare? You already took three dares so you have to take the truth this time!" Matsukawa said.

"Why do you even ask then?" He mumbled, a little worried of what the truth might be.

"Oh oh, you're going to love this one." He continued when he read the question, "With how many people in this room, did you think about having sex with?"

Several young ones flushed, and Iwaizumi, obviously, blushed terribly.

"I-it's obvious! Only one!" He exclaimed.

Kiku blushed and looked down at her hands on her laps when everyone glanced at her. Hajime blushed even more and covered his face with his hands, embarrassment killing him.

"Well, that was easier than expected," Makki commented, "Just to be sure, is it Kiku or one of us?"

"You know the answer, you imbecile!" Iwaizumi hissed.

"Aaaw, thank you, it makes me very happy~ I didn't know you liked me _that_ much, but don't be so embarrassing in front of our teammates, Hajime-chan~!" Hanamaki teased, putting a hand on his face as if he was flushed and embarrassed.

"Y-you…! Hmpff! You imbecile!"

Everyone snickered at their exchange, even Kiku who got over her embarrassment thanks to Hanamaki's intervention. Not that he had done that for _her_ , obviously, but to embarrass even further Iwaizumi.

"As usual you don't know any other insult but _'imbecile',_ Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa said.

"Shut up! You're the king of imbeciles! It's your turn anyway!"

"Give me the vilest of dare, Mattsun!" Oikawa exclaimed vehemently.

He clicked on his phone screen, and smirked upon seeing the next dare. Curious, Makki glanced over his shoulder then glanced up at Oikawa who blinked at them in confusion to see such expressions on their faces.

"You absolutely _have_ to do it, Oikawa," Hanamaki said with a wink.

It made the others just as curious as Matsukawa read the question:

"Take off your clothes."

"Oh? Is that it~? If you want to see me naked so badly, just say so, I'll take off my clothes _anytime~!"_ Oikawa exclaimed, already standing up.

Kiku looked away with a flush as he took off his shirt, the gesture not escaping Hajime's attention, feeling the seed of jealousy growing in his heart.

Oikawa let his shirt drop dramatically then started pulling at his pants before flushing in embarrassment and sitting down.

"T-that's it, right… just the shirt is enough, ahah…" He started.

"Uh-uh. Take off your pants, show to the _entire_ team what you're wearing underneath." Hanamaki said.

"B-but, M-Makki!" Oikawa whined, not wanting to take off his pants and show his boxers to _everyone_.

That the third-years knew it was one thing, they were used to his habits. But he didn't want to lose face against the first and second years. He was their Captain, after all…!

"Come on! Pants off! Pants off! Pants off!" Matsukawa started, clapping in his hands.

After a while, everyone started cheering for it despite Oikawa's red cheeks and he had no choice but to execute the order before they'd assault him.

" _Oh!_ All right! If anyone laughs, he's off the team!" He exclaimed, standing up and pulling down his pants.

Everyone stared at what were his favorite boxers: black, with green little aliens… playing volleyball. It was his lucky boxers, his favorite one, that he usually put on on special occasions or because it made him feel good and confident.

"N-no way… O-Oikawa-san…" Yahaba started, sounding almost sad.

A few started snickering but their Captain, cheeks red, immediately stomped down his foot:

"OI! I said no laughing!" He exclaimed.

It made the third-years roll in laughter and quickly, everyone was snickering, laughing or even smiling in amusement. Even Kiku was holding her stomach, trying to smother her laugh as Oikawa got dressed once again, whining and cursing his teammates for making fun of him. His boxers were really cool anyway!

"A-all right! Next one! Kiku!" Matsukawa called, in between two fits of laughter, everyone quieting down, "Truth or dare?"

"U-um… I-I don't know…" She murmured, not wanting to do either after what both Iwaizumi and Oikawa had to do.

"Dare! Dare!" Makki exclaimed, already clicking on it on Mattsun's phone, "Oh oh~! This is going to be great!"

"You have to do seven minutes in heaven! And because we're generous, we'll let you choose among _all_ of us which one you'll do it with!"

Everyone flushed and glanced at their blushing manager who blinked in confusion:

"U-um… w-what is seven minutes in heaven?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'll teach you–" Makki volunteered, already standing up.

"No, you won't!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, glaring at him.

He glanced quickly at Kiku, then at everyone who was definitely wondering what he would do…

"Well, someone _has_ to teach her what _is_ seven minutes in heaven and clearly I'm the most–"

"I'll do it."

They all turned towards Iwaizumi after he said that, his cheeks red. Kiku wasn't quite sure what was happening when they all started grinning but Hajime stood up and showed her his hand. She took it, standing up after him and the whole group went to the nearest, empty classroom, all the while making sure not to be caught by Mizoguchi.

"All right~ Now don't be too loud~! Make sure to _really_ go for it, we want proofs, otherwise we'll know once the seven minutes are up and we'll have to make you two go through a very _intense_ and _embarrassing_ dare as punishment!" Hanamaki exclaimed, pushing the two inside the room with a snarky smile.

He closed the door and Oikawa talked loud enough for the two to hear:

"I'm starting the timer now! Tic tac~ tic tac~!"

Kiku looked up at Hajime curiously but he didn't dare do or say anything:

"U-um, what _is_ seven minutes in heaven…?" She asked hesitantly.

"…We're locked up in here for seven minutes… and we're supposed to have a make out session…" He answered nervously when she blushed.

She thought back on everyone's reaction, on how he had proposed himself to go for it. Her heart beat faster, comforting warmth spreading through her body…

"T-then you… you volunteered so that I wouldn't have to go with anyone else…" She realized.

She sighed in relief, looking up gratefully at Hajime.

"I-I don't want anyone else to touch you…" He admitted, trying to swallow back his jealousy.

"T-thank you… it's reassuring that I'd… spend seven minutes in heaven with _you_ …" She said, her voice a little more playful.

He hesitated, glancing around. An awkward silence fell on them.

"W-what do you think Makki will make us do once the minutes will be up…?" She asked, worriedly.

"We…"

He took a deep breath to give himself some courage:

"I could, uh, do a lot of push-ups or something to look sweaty and… and…"

"Hajime…" Kiku called hesitantly, stepping towards him, which made his stomach tighten, "I-I know we're kinda taking a break but… we're… still dating, aren't we…? S-so… we could…"

She looked up shyly at him, her eyes shining in the mid-darkness while a blush spread over their cheeks. His lips fell open at the suggestion, knowing that all of their friends probably had their ears against the door to listen to whatever they'd do… Kiku quickly looked away, pulling nervously at her shirt, which attracted Hajime's attention on her curvy figure, barely covered by her short shorts and cute shirt. Gods, he was so glad no one else but him got to see her so adorably embarrassed.

"I-I m-mean… I-if you want… y-you don't have to force yourself if you want to stay away from me, I would underst–"

She never finished her sentence as Hajime walked the two steps separating them and cupped her cheeks, kissing her intensely. She gasped against his lips while his hands grabbed her hips, pulling her against his body. They pulled away for breath and he looked right into her eyes:

" _As if_ I could stay away from you even if I wanted to…" He breathed against her lips.

She opened and closed her lips before capturing his once again, their kiss intensifying as Oikawa announced the remaining amount of time. They didn't listen though. Hajime pushed Kiku against the nearest wall, grabbing her behind and lifting her up until she was pressed between his body and the wall. She squeaked loudly, her legs surrounding his hips while he started kissing her neck.

"W-wait, H-Hajime!" She exclaimed, blushing.

"They need a proof, right?" He said, letting his teeth brush against the soft skin.

He could feel her heart beating frenetically against his chest and under his lips, she let out a heavy sigh, probably wondering whether or not she would let him do it, but suddenly, she grasped the hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer to her neck. He bit down enthusiastically, excitement shooting through his body, both of their stomachs tightening as pleasure starting to rush. Kiku let out a squeal, she bit down on her lower lip, knowing that people were right behind the door and could hear her. She closed her eyes as he bit and sucked, leaving red marks that would turn into hickeys. She let out an ecstatic laugh before looking down, forcing his lips away from her neck. She pulled at his shirt and Hajime stepped away, letting her down. Kiku quickly grabbed his shirt, pulling it off his body all the while pushing him backwards until he hit a table. He turned around, grabbed Kiku who was kissing his pectoral and lifted her up easily, letting her down on the table with another squeal. He took off her shirt, throwing it over his shoulder and grabbing her hips as he bent down to kiss her, the move so sudden it made the table hit the wall behind.

On the other side of the door, everyone, mostly the third-years were leaning with their ears against the door, hearing some squeals, a sudden laugh and sounds of furniture hitting the wall – or perhaps it was their bodies.

"…Do you think they're…?" Oikawa hesitated, glancing up at Hanamaki.

"It sounds a hell lot like it…" He answered.

Everyone was stunned that not only their Ace was making out with their manager, but that they'd do it in an almost public place. It was unexpected but they were happy for them considering the weird atmosphere that had surrounded them these last few days.

"We're lucky the app had such a dare at the perfect timing!" Oikawa exclaimed with a grin.

"Ah, right, about that… what was written was that Kiku was just supposed to kiss someone of her choice." Hanamaki continued with a smug grin.

"But we spiced it up a little bit." Mattsun added.

They fist-bumped each other while Oikawa rolled his eyes with a grin.

"Ah, well, everything is well in the end so there's that. Should we stop them when the timer goes off?" He asked.

"Of course, it'll be only _more_ sexual frustration for Iwaizumi. Our plan is working perfectly~!"

"Makki, you're evil~"

"May I ask what is going on here?"

The entire group jumped and turned around, all walking in front of the door to keep Mizoguchi from getting too curious. He stared at them suspiciously and they realized they didn't keep an eye on the hour and that it was probably time for lights out.

"What's going on? What are you all doing here?" He asked.

The first and second-years, panicked, looked up at their senpais.

"U-um! W-we're just… hanging around!" Oikawa exclaimed, making Mizoguchi frown.

A sound came from inside behind the door, making the assistant coach raise an eyebrow. Oikawa looked away in embarrassment, while Matsukawa hit the door with his foot, hoping it'd keep the two inside a little more quiet.

"U-um, we're–"

Hanamaki's voice was covered by a loud growl coming from inside the room, making everyone freeze and flush.

"We're SURPRISED to see you here, _suddenly_ , MIZOGUCHI!" He shouted, hitting the door with his foot to warn the two idiots busy making-out that they were about to get caught.

Just then the timer of Oikawa's phone went off, startling the setter who tried to keep it down but almost dropping his phone in his panic.

Mizoguchi stared at them, knowing something was going on and that he would get angry:

"What is happening in this room? You're not supposed to go in there."

"There's no one in there, nothing is going on in there," Makki answered.

"There's obviously someone in there, we just heard someone make a weird noise, I hope it's not one of your–"

Mizoguchi stepped forward but was cut by Yahaba who spoke up suddenly:

"T-they're doing a test of courage!" He exclaimed, drawing the coach's attention on him for more explanation, "A-a few members of the team are in there… in the dark… doing a test of courage… That's why we can't interrupt them yet or it'd be… ruined."

Everyone, including the third-years, turned towards Yahaba with stars in their eyes.

 _Yahaba! Nice save!_ They all thought, glad _he_ was there to save the situation.

Mizoguchi looked confused but turned back towards the third-years:

"Well, they'll continue the test of courage tomorrow, right now you should all go to bed and–"

The door Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa had been leaning on suddenly open on Iwaizumi and Kiku, dressed and a little flushed but looking perfectly calm. Well, Kiku was holding onto Iwaizumi's arm tightly, shaking.

"Aaah! It was scary! Don't make me do that _ever again,_ Makki!" Kiku exclaimed, hiding her face in her boyfriend's arm.

"A-ah, u-um!"

"Were you two really doing a test of courage?" Mizoguchi asked suspiciously.

Kiku looked up, still looking incredibly frightened, pale except for the red of her cheeks:

"Y—yes, they _forced_ me, but I didn't want to go alone in the dark…!"

"So I volunteered to go with her," Iwaizumi added with a shrug.

"…I heard a weird noise, what were you–"

"Ah, she kicked me in the shin." He said, giving Kiku an accusing look.

"T-there was a scary shadow!" She exclaimed.

He opened his lips to reply but Mizoguchi just shook his head in impatience:

"Whatever! Just go to bed! All of you! I'll come back in five minutes to check on you!"

He went back downstairs and as soon as he was out of view, everyone sighed in relief.

"You two… are incredible actors…! I almost believed you!" Hanamaki exclaimed with a smile.

"Eh? But it _was_ scary…" Kiku said with an innocent blink of her eyes, "I don't understand why you'd call this 'seven minutes in heaven' when it's just a test of courage…" She mumbled in confusion.

They all glanced at Iwaizumi who shrugged with a flush on his cheeks, they all understood he had not explained to her the true rules of the game.

"I'm going to bed now, you've exhausted me…! I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, guys!" Kiku exclaimed, with a wave of her hand, going at the other side of the hall in her own room.

Everyone turned, a little accusingly, towards Iwaizumi who remained perfectly calm.

"If you wanted her to know the rules, _you_ should have explained it before pushing us into the room. Letting _me_ handle it when I want to preserve her innocence – that was pretty stupid of you." He said with a smug expression.

"You're the stupid one for missing your chance!" Matsukawa sighed.

"Whatever! Now, come on, everyone to bed! We've got a harsh training tomorrow!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, pushing off everyone who whined.

He glanced over his shoulder at Kiku who glanced at him before disappearing in her room, sharing a smile. He followed the others but Makki came to a stop, brows furrowed in confusion:

"Wait but… Kiku isn't scared of the dark…?" He murmured to himself.

"Just go to bed, Hanamaki," Iwaizumi said, pushing him forward.

"Oooh~! I see what you did there, you smug son of a bitch!" He exclaimed proudly, punching lightly his friend on the shoulder.

"Ah, but you and Matsukawa will get double time of running tomorrow for making it all up." Iwaizumi added with a ferocious look, making both shudder in fear of what they'd have to go through.

Hajime didn't want to admit it while he was making sure everyone was turning the lights and going to sleep, but he was pretty frustrated that the moment he had shared with Kiku had been over within a few minutes. He rolled around in his futon for a long while, out of frustration and also because he couldn't stop thinking of everything that had happened in so little time between the two of them. She was giving him time to figure out if he wanted to overcome his fears about dating her. He had realized just how much of an important part of his life she had become, like a physical necessity to have her around, to hear her laugh, see her smile, hold her hand and being forced apart for 'thinking' was driving him crazy. And this sudden make-out session, too short to his tastes. He bit down his lower lip to keep himself from laughing in excitement. Considering they were taking a break, they shouldn't have done that, it felt like some forbidden act, some sin they had done in almost-complete secrecy considering everyone (except Makki who had figured it out) had assumed he had lied to Kiku about the nature of _"seven minutes in heaven"._

 _Gods, she's driving me crazy…!_ He realized, rolling around and trying desperately to find sleep but his mind was too full of Kiku for that.

For once, the following morning, he was one of the last ones who got up and it was only because Oikawa insisted by pushing him around until he'd wake up.

"You didn't sleep last night?" The setter asked when the groggy spiker rose from the dead (read: the sleepers)

"Uuuh… I did… like, late… or early, depending on your point of view…"

"Too excited to fall asleep, uh?" Makki teased as he walked past them.

Iwaizumi glared at him as he chuckled, walking away.

"Come on, a good breakfast is going to get you started!" Oikawa exclaimed, helping him up.

Unfortunately, being among the last ones up, Hajime couldn't see Kiku who was already gone from the kitchen, finishing to get ready and prepare everything for the boys' training.

They started the day of training, Iwaizumi having enough energy to be as spartan as usual, to everyone's despair. It was during the first break of the day, after going to the restrooms, that Hajime ran into Kiku. Or rather, she was waiting for him and after making sure no one would notice, she pushed him in a dark corner.

"I-I'm sorry for what happened last night," she started, blushing in embarrassment, "I-I give you time to think a-and then I propose to roll along with this stupid game and make out a-and the others were here too a-and…"

"Hey, don't be sorry… I rolled along with it too so…" He mumbled, flushing a little.

They stared at each other in silence. He really wanted to bend down and kiss her but he held back. It was just sexual frustration pushing him to these acts, right now, they needed to be focused. On the summer training camp and on what they would do after.

"So… I guess… we're still on a break, then…?" He asked to be certain, sounding more disappointed than intended.

She stared back at him then nodded with a sigh. She was about to leave when he caught her arm, forcing her to look back at him:

"Y-you know… um, thank you… for giving me the time to decide…"

 _Even though I already made up my mind_ … He added to himself.

Kiku stared at him then a smile appeared on her face:

"It's normal. I just want you happy, Hajime. It's all that matters for me."

She continued walking and he slowly let go of her arm, but he didn't stop touching her. His fingers grasped her arm softly and as she moved away, his hand caressed the length of her arm and hand until their fingertips were touching. She seemed hesitant, sending him a last look from over her shoulders, his gaze burning into hers and then… she blinked and walked away, breaking the contact.

Hajime sighed, knowing he had to focus on the training camp but wanting so badly for Kiku and him to be back at having a normal relationship. Or rather, to _start_ a normal relationship now that they had realized what had gone wrong. He walked away from the hall but before he could reach the court, he noticed Kiku and Makki talking. Or rather, Hanamaki, with a grin on his face, grabbed her arm and pushed her in a corner where no one could see.

 _I'm not jealous… I'm not jealous… they're just talking, they're just talking_ … He repeated to himself, trying to hurry past them.

But he couldn't help but glance and froze when he saw Kiku against the wall and Hanamaki leaning over her, kissing her neck… Ice filled his veins, then a burning anger, and then a sudden sadness and disappointment.

"OI!" Hajime shouted.

Both startled and Hanamaki smiled at him, a little sheepish to have been caught and having to face such a furious-looking Iwaizumi.

"Hey… I was just admiring your work from last night…"

Hajime's brows furrowed and he noticed Kiku looking away with a blush on her cheeks, putting her hand over her neck. Right where he had kissed her… did she…? He gasped, realizing she had hickeys because of _him_ and that not only Hanamaki had seen them, but that he had assumed his friends _were_ –

Not knowing what to do, or what to say, he just stood there awkwardly while Hanamaki walked past him, patting his shoulder.

"Good job, for a virgin," he whispered in his ear, making Hajime blush.

"O-oi!" He exclaimed but Hanamaki walked away with a laugh.

He turned back towards Kiku who was trying to put her hair forward to hide the embarrassing proofs of what had happened last night. If Mizoguchi or her uncle noticed it, they would figure out that last night was _not_ a test of courage and they might get in trouble.

"A-are you okay?" Hajime asked hesitantly, wanting to apologize for leaving hickeys on her neck.

"I-I'm fine, just go…"

He felt a little disheartened but nodded, joining his friends. From the teasing grins on Matsukawa and Oikawa's faces, it was pretty obvious Hanamaki had just told them the truth.

"Iwa-chan–" Oikawa started with a hyped up voice.

" _Don't_. Say. A word."

The rest of the practice went as usual, everyone working hard, resting in between practice matches. Hajime kept glancing at Kiku, whether while she was taking notes or at dinner, he couldn't stop glancing her way, hope he could take her hand in his, talk to her, see her smile… Sighing for the umpteenth time tonight, Oikawa glanced at his friend, smiling when he saw him so terribly in love despite the strange and unexplainable distance between the couple.

"She doesn't smile when you're not around," Oikawa intervened, putting his chin on his propped up hand, staring at Hajime and occasionally glancing at Kiku to prove his point.

"Eh?"

"Kiku-chan smiles and laughs, but most times it's to be polite, or because it just happens. But when you're around, she smiles so brightly. It's like two different persons." He explained calmly.

"…You're right…"

 _I miss her smile… her bright, blinding smile that takes my breath away and makes me forget everyone else around…_ Hajime added to himself, looking down sadly.

His attention was brought back on Kiku when she stood up, leaving the cafeteria to go into the kitchen. She would put the most of the dishes into the dish-washer then go have her bath while everyone was dozing off. Keeping a distant eye on her, Hajime left the others to go watch the door to avoid any other incident like the other day. He was aware that his friends knew about it but they didn't tease him – it was surprising but in the same time, they could feel the tension and distance between Kiku and him. He hadn't told them anything about the break they were taking and he doubted Kiku had either. They were respecting their boundaries and he was grateful to them, but he still wished he could talk about it with them, mostly Oikawa… It felt strange, doing things without telling Oikawa, choosing his own path without thinking of Oikawa. He w as such an important part of his life, and _he_ was important for Oikawa too; and yet, now, the only person who seemed to matter was Kiku. Oikawa didn't say anything about it yet, but Hajime was pretty sure that the setter would soon start getting antsy about the lack of time they spent together.

The sound of water in the bathroom dragged him out of his thoughts and Hajime stood up, joining the others but for once, everyone was quiet. The exhaustion of the training camp was getting on them, several already dozing off and half-asleep. It was quiet and by realizing this, Hajime wished he was laying on his futon with Kiku by his side. Just her quietness, her soothing presence. But no matter how hard he tried to focus on something else, whether it was his phone, or his friends' calm conversation, his mind always went back to Kiku.

 _I miss her… I miss her, I miss her, I miss her, I miss her, I miss her, I miss her, I miss–_

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa called, glancing at him, "You look nervous and you keep glaring at the ceiling. You're okay?"

"Y-yeah, I just… need some sleep…" He answered, turning on his side to try and fall asleep despite the lights still on but he couldn't close his eyes.

Not long after, Mizoguchi went to check on them and called the lights off. Quickly, everyone fell asleep, light snores and sleepy breaths filling the room. Hajime didn't stop turning around, seeing his friends sleeping deeply while his mind was plagued with thoughts of Kiku. He couldn't stop thinking of her – her hands, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her soft skin under his lips…

Finally getting exhausted from overthinking, Hajime pushed off the covers and stood up, leaving the room in silence, wandering in the halls for a while. He hoped some exercise would tire him enough to go back and fall asleep but he was too nervous. Even if his brain was feeling drowsy from lack of sleep and the exhaustion of an entire day of practice, his body seemed to be covered in nervous electricity. Everytime he thought of Kiku, he was filled with warmth and a strange mix of peace and anxiety took over.

Looking up, Hajime realized he had instinctively gone to Kiku's room. He was about to turn around and leave when he hesitated. He couldn't help but slid open the door slightly, as silently as possible. He observed her sleeping form from afar and then, without being conscious of his actions, he opened the door a little wider and his steps took him in. He couldn't help himself, he wasn't thinking or deciding of his actions, he was just drawn to Kiku.

She moved a little in her sleep from the sounds but didn't wake up. Hajime sat next to her, smiling softly when he observed her sleeping. She would have seemed peaceful to anyone else but him, but _he_ could see the slightest signs of discomfort on her face. He wasn't even sure what gave it away – her lips weren't turned down, she wasn't frowning, her breathing was calm but he could just _tell_.

Hajime advanced his hand, pushing some of her hair away from her face and he started caressing her hair delicately. Kiku let a sigh escape her lips and under his touch, she relaxed in her sleep. He smiled at that.

Kiku's presence, the quietness of the room, he could have fallen asleep if he hadn't been painfully aware he needed to go away. Before someone might wake up and found him in his girlfriend's room, watching her sleep. Or that he'd fall asleep here. It would cause them both trouble from Mizoguchi and, well, he wasn't sure how Kiku would take it.

He stood up, advancing towards the door. Maybe he made some sound, but he liked to think that Kiku could feel his absence and that was what woke her up. She turned around, opening slightly her eyes, blinded by the moonlight and the figure standing in her doorway.

"…Hajime…" She called, stopping him at once, while she fell back asleep already.

He looked over his shoulder as her breathing calmed once again. But her hand was reaching out to him, just a few centimeters away from a moment ago, now resting on the floor again.

"…Don't leave me…" She whispered in her sleep.

Hajime's heart missed a beat, suddenly feeling awake and more alive than he did the last few days. His lips fell open, not knowing what to do. Somehow, he could tell that it wasn't an half-asleep Kiku asking him to not leave her room… it was a frightened Kiku, who had still put his happiness before her own, asking him to not leave her _definitely_.

He didn't doubt she would always put his happiness first, but he also knew she spent the last few days frightened he'd leave her. It was her worst fear – to be left by the people she loved, she had been abandoned for years and years… She might have been adopted by the Akiyama, and they loved her, but part of the reason why they did so was because they had lost their own daughter, Kiku was here to fill the void left by her death. Hajime was the _only_ person who loved Kiku for who she was, without expecting or asking anything from her.

He slowly walked back to Kiku, sitting down the way he had done a few moments ago. His hand took hers, she moved around a little but didn't wake up as he slid his fingers with hers.

"I'll never leave you… I promised, didn't I…?" He murmured, smiling at her sleeping face.

He hadn't expected Kiku to hear him, and he wasn't sure if she had woken up yet, but her expression changed. So much sadness, so suddenly, that his heart felt too heavy.

"…But he… needs to live his life…" She continued, probably talking in her dreams.

Hajime watched her face as a tear rolled down her cheek and she turned around, looking sad and worried even in her sleep. Her breathing calmed again and he lied down next to her, kissing the top of her head. There was still some distance between them he didn't dare break to not wake her up, but he was still holding her hand and he could smell her lemon-scent.

"I need you in my life, Kiku…" He murmured, closing his eyes.

He felt himself fall asleep but he didn't have the strength, or heart, to move and leave to go back in his room. He felt peaceful next to Kiku's warmth, as she unconsciously relaxed again in his presence.

"I… didn't even tell him… that I love him…" She breathed, still more asleep than awake.

He opened his eyes again, but this time, he had nothing to answer. He knew how she felt, and he knew how _he_ felt. He just prayed they could still make their relationship balanced.

"Don't leave me Kiku…" He murmured, closing his eyes.

If there was an answer, he never heard it, falling asleep.

When Kiku's clock rang loudly right next to him, Hajime jumped awake, immediately pressing the button off, his heart beating in panic when, within seconds, he realized that he had fallen asleep in her room. Kiku moaned, turning around and covering her face with her covers, not wanting to get up and not realizing he was just a few inches away from her.

Despite feeling groggy from the sudden waking and having slept without any cover, Hajime quickly stood up and hurried through the hall, praying no one else was awake. The boys wouldn't wake up for a while, but Kiku _and_ Mizoguchi were the first ones awake – to prepare breakfast. If he was caught in the halls, at dawn, leaving his girlfriend's room, the assistant-coach would _kill_ him. He entered the room filled with sleeping, snoring boys – so different from Kiku's quiet and soothing sleep – and hurried to his futon, jumping under his covers and praying. He tried going back to sleep, but he had been too frightened to do that. Of course, the moment he started going back to sleep, his clock rang and his groan was the loudest of all.

The last day of the summer training camp wasn't much different from the others except maybe that after four intense days, everyone was a little more tired. It didn't stop them for practicing all day long, relaxing only after they had won their practice match against the team of Sendai University with many Seijou's alumni.

"We finished earlier than planned," Hanamaki remarked, sitting down and drinking water.

"Honestly, it's nice to finally rest after the entire week." Mattsun added.

They both glanced at Iwaizumi, worried he might suddenly ask everyone to go for another round of training regiment (he had done that already, training them until they'd drop on the final day) but they sighed in relief when he seemed too lost in thoughts to hear them. Or maybe he was too tired himself to propose it – it wasn't even because of the training, but they knew he hadn't slept well all week long.

Kiku approached the group of third-years with a smile:

"The coaches went off to buy some ice-creams and drinks to everyone, but they told me to stay to wait for my father, he'll will bring some cookies." She announced.

Many overheard and rejoiced about it, cheering and smiling.

"Thank you, Kiku-chan~!" Oikawa exclaimed with a happy smile.

"If I had known I'd get cookies from your bakery, I would have asked you to become our manager years ago," Makki added with a grin.

"I almost did," she admitted with a sheepish smile.

All four third-years looked up at her with wide eyes, not believing it as she shrugged it off:

"Uncle Nobuteru wanted me to be the team's manager but… I joined the cheering club. I was too stubborn to stop until you… convinced me to come here instead." She admitted and even if she talked to all of them, her eyes only sparkled when they met Hajime's.

The couple immediately looked away, flushing a little in embarrassment.

"When I think that you could have spared us _two years and a half_ of Iwaizumi's frustration and training regiment, it truly is a shame…" Matsukawa said, glancing accusingly at the Ace for these years of suffering.

Hajime glared at him half-heartedly, knowing he was joking for the most part, while Kiku chuckled adorably, immediately making his heart melt and his frown disappear. Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa sighed upon seeing that – if only Kiku had joined the team right away…

"Hey! While we wait for the food, how about we sing and dance a little?" Oikawa proposed suddenly, already standing up.

"How do you want to do that when we're in the volleyball gymnasium?" Iwaizumi mumbled, frowning in confusion.

"How do you want to do that when we're _exhausted?_ " Matsukawa added, unwilling to move.

"But! Kiku-chan worked so hard for us she barely had any fun at all, all week! You like singing and dancing, so let's do that! It'll be fun, everyone will get to relax!" Oikawa exclaimed, already turning around and going to where his phone was, "Makki, go get your thing!"

"E-eh…? B-but, it's fine! I had lots of fun!" Kiku protested but no one really listened.

Hanamaki sighed but stood up with a smile, quickly going back into the room to take his speaker. He had taken it so the team could watch movies but they had been so tired they had used it only once. When he came back, after some meddling between Oikawa's phone and the speaker, music started coming out of it. It wasn't loud enough to fill the entire gymnasium of course, but enough for a good part of the court to turn into a temporary dance floor. Most sat it out, but Oikawa took Kiku's hand and dragged her there, starting to make her spin around until she laughed. After a few seconds, despite her red cheeks and embarrassment, she went along with it. Dancing, humming and singing a little, she took turns dancing with everyone who wanted to – mostly Oikawa or Yahaba, but Makki and Mattsun danced as well. She taught a few steps to a flushed and awkward Kindaichi, when no one really followed the music anymore and just laughed and enjoyed their time together. The last training camp with the current team of Aoba Jousai.

Hajime watched from afar with a smile on his face, glad to see Kiku relax thanks to Oikawa. A few times he lowered his gaze because he disliked seeing how close Oikawa or Hanamaki danced with his girlfriend but… he was glad she was happy.

"Aren't you going to dance with Kiku?" Matsukawa asked him, dropping next to the Ace.

"I'm not… good at dancing… or this sort of things…" He mumbled, flushing in embarrassment.

"Pfff, yeah! We _know!"_ He exclaimed, earning a look from his friend but Iwaizumi knew he was right to react like that, "But look at Kindaichi, he's no better than you but he's doing it to have fun. You know, after three years it should be obvious, but you have the right to relax as well. You don't have to always look after us."

Iwaizumi turned to him with slightly widened eyes. It was no secret that Iwaizumi, other than being the Ace and Vice-Captain, was the one keeping an eye on everyone, jokingly being called the mother of the team because he was too serious and always took care of them. Everyone _knew_ but that it was pointed to him so explicitly by Matsukawa, or anyone, was a first.

"And, next year, if you want to move on, you'll have to let go eventually." Matsukawa added, grabbing his water bottle and drinking some.

Iwaizumi stared at him then at the scene of Kiku and Oikawa dancing. He didn't know what Kiku wanted to do next year but Oikawa would go to Tokyo, and _he_ would remain here in Miyagi. To gain a new, different experience in volleyball and evolve more without depending on Oikawa as his setter. But the main reason why Iwaizumi was the team's "mom" was because he was Oikawa's; he had always looked after him since they were children, but mostly since middle-school. With everything that had happened: Oikawa overworking himself, their rivalry against Ushijima, Kageyama appearing and planting new fears in his friend's heart… If Iwaizumi hadn't been here these last six years to watch over Oikawa, he might be unable to play volleyball today, he would have been overwhelmed by everything. Letting Oikawa go on his own meant trusting him to take care of himself and being capable to not overdo anything. But all these feelings and emotions were mirrored in Iwaizumi's heart… he was so used to take care of Oikawa, would he be capable to handle training on his own without looking after him?

When the coaches and Shouta arrived with the food, the focus turned to what was essential: eating. Iwaizumi didn't feel much hunger with his thoughts plaguing his mind but he decided to keep his worries at bay and focus on what was important: enjoy their last summer training camp together in Aoba Jousai with the Spring High coming closer.

Hajime glanced around, occasionally munching on some cookies but he didn't have the courage to walk to Kiku and interrupt her conversation with Oikawa. He tried to ignore the discomfort in his heart to see them smiling and laughing so much, but he couldn't, jealousy and frustration and the will to tell Kiku she was _his_ getting stronger and stronger.

Hanamaki noticed it, smiling to himself, glad that his plan was working. Whatever had happened between Iwaizumi and Kiku, they still felt just as strongly for each other, and Iwaizumi's frustration and lust was slowly getting too hard to ignore and shrug off. He still had one last card to play before the end of the training camp and it might be even better than the seven minutes in heaven for these two – if he could get Matsukawa to help him out. Unfortunately, the wing-spiker wasn't the only one to glance and notice the two – Shouta glanced between the couple but what he noticed was the distance between them. Physical _and_ emotional and of course, his fatherly instinct kicked in and worry came.

 _Some time later…_

The noise of the entire team gathering their stuff and calling for lost items throughout the rooms was making the hall much busier than it has been the entire week. Iwaizumi and Oikawa arrived later because they had talked with the coaches about the week, only seeing everyone go in and out of rooms, looking for various stuff and slowly getting ready to leave. Some, the fastest, were already dressed and saluted their Captain and Vice-Captain, wishing them good holiday, before leaving with their bags on their shoulders.

"All lost items, put it in this box!" Kiku exclaimed loudly, covering everyone's voices and noise.

"Ooosss!"

"Akiyama! Is the cafeteria still open? I left my jacket there during lunch!" Mattsun called.

"I'll open it for you! Anyone else needs to go there?"

When no one answered, probably not hearing her, she decided she'll leave the cafeteria open and will wait for everyone to be gone to make sure nothing would be left behind.

Just when Kiku was about to exit the room to guide Matsukawa, she bumped into Iwaizumi. He caught her by the waist, the two glancing at each other a short moment before flushing and looking away. He let go of her and she disappeared. Hanamaki sent a quick message to Matsukawa while Oikawa and Iwaizumi quietly gathered their stuff in their bags, making sure to not forget anything.

Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, Matsukawa and Kiku entered it, both looking around to find his jacket.

"Where did you leave it?" She asked, not seeing the white and turquoise jacket.

"Mmm… I don't know… it doesn't seem to be here, though… Sorry, I made you come all the way here for nothing." He apologized.

"It's fine…" She answered, already turning around.

Matsukawa found the soy sauce Hanamaki had hidden earlier, sharing with him his plan to provoke some moment between Kiku and Iwaizumi. He opened it discreetly but kept his hand around so that it wouldn't be noticed.

"Ah, looks like someone left some soy sauce bottle earlier!" He exclaimed, making Kiku turn around.

"I'll put it back in–"

Kiku gasped when Matsukawa gave her the bottle, but let it slip through his fingers so it'd splash on her shirt. She caught it in time before it'd meet the ground and he opened wide eyes:

"I'm so sorry! I thought you were holding it already!" He exclaimed, trying hard not to smile or laugh and break the play.

"I-it's fine… aah… I'll have to change now!" She exclaimed, quickly putting the soy sauce bottle on the counter and the two going back to the hall with the rooms.

When Matsukawa came back into the team's room, he glanced at Iwaizumi:

"Iwaizumi! Kiku is calling for you! She needs your help for some paper she left in her room!" He exclaimed casually.

"Oh? Okay!" He answered, standing up and going to join her.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki shared a gaze and a nod, and with Oikawa, they all went into the hall to spy on what would happen.

Iwaizumi went to Kiku's room, the door closed. He knocked to announce his arrival and opened it.

"Matsukawa told me you…"

His voice trailed off when he caught sight of Kiku, just as frozen in shock, with her shirt off. She had turned around, blushing terribly, when he had entered, wearing only a bra and her pants. Hajime's eyes traveled over her body before he blushed and shook himself.

"I'm sorry!" He exclaimed, slamming the door shut.

He stared at the closed door for a short moment, still blushing and feeling frustration bubbling inside him. He bit hard on his lower lip, trying not to think too much of Kiku wearing only her bra. He swallowed hard and walked back to the boys' room, the three others acting as if nothing had happened even if they had seen the scene from afar.

"Are you all right, Iwa-chan? You're really red?" Oikawa said casually.

"I-I'm fine…" He answered, making sure once again he had everything in his bags even if he knew it was the case already.

"Considering you just came out of Kiku's room and you're so red, we could question your dignity, Iwaizumi~!" Hanamaki teased, even though he had been the one to plan it all.

When Iwaizumi blushed even more, looking restless and trying to hide his lack of composure, they cheered silently. After such little attentions and glances, after the slow-building frustration of having his girlfriend under the same roof for an entire week, always suggesting but never seeing or doing anything, seeing Kiku wearing only her bra had been the fatal blow to Hajime's sexual frustration.

Everything was going according to plan.

Later, when almost everyone was gone, Oikawa was doing a check-up of everywhere to make sure nothing had been left behind or unput. When Iwaizumi approached him, he remembered what Hanamaki had asked of him.

"Do you know where Kiku is? I don't want her to go back on her own but I don't know if she went home already or not," Iwaizumi said, trying to hide the fact that he wanted to talk with her.

"Mmm, I saw her leave with Makki," Oikawa said, even though he knew Kiku was still around and checking on the cafeteria.

"Oh… then I'll go check the main building and cafeteria for lost items and–"

"No, Iwa-chan! It's okay! I'll handle it! You're tired and you worked hard all week, you can go ahead!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"…I'll help you out, and I'll wait for you to be done before we go home." He answered, it was unusual for Oikawa to tell him to go ahead.

"No, Iwa-chan, please, go ahead! I… have to meet someone…" He improvised, not having expected his friend to insist.

Oikawa glanced away, flushing a little at the idea of lying to his best friend so shamelessly – Iwaizumi would find out right away he was lying… But thankfully, Iwaizumi was too tired and restless, he understood the flush of his cheeks differently.

"Oh. T-then… good luck." He said, feeling awkward because he had no idea that Oikawa had another girl in sight recently.

Iwaizumi grabbed his bags, leaving it all to Oikawa. On his way out of the high-school though, Hajime came to a stop, staring at where the bicycles usually were. With the absence of students, it was normal that there'd be nothing. Except for the _only_ bicycle here he recognized instantly. He didn't remember if Kiku had come with her bicycle and it happened she left it at school when she preferred walking home or was driven back by her uncle but… leaving it for the rest of the summer holiday? It seemed… strange. He glanced over his shoulder. Did she really go home with Hanamaki or did she remain behind? And… who was this person Oikawa was supposed to meet that left a flush on his cheeks?

Clenching his jaws and swallowing hard, Hajime turned around, leaving the school grounds.

 _It means NOTHING_ , he thought to himself, feeling like he was trying to convince himself.

Even if he was home and could relax and rest, Hajime just couldn't. Not only he couldn't stop thinking of Kiku, but he was also plagued with ridiculous jealousy and doubts. There was no way Oikawa would lie to him so shamelessly if he wanted to see Kiku? After all… they were friends… Even if Oikawa always tried to include her to their group when he was too embarrassed to do it himself, even if they had danced and sung together, even if… he was meeting someone who made him flush and that the chances of Kiku still being in the highschool at this moment being high. Hajime had always thought he wouldn't be the jealous type, and in most cases, he wasn't but right _now_ … he couldn't help but turn around in his bed, desperately trying to find something that would prove he was over thinking. Perhaps… perhaps Kiku had given him time to think, had requested this break in their relationship because she wanted to end it…? Perhaps she preferred Oikawa but wanted to break up with him slowly, to not hurt him? She wouldn't be the first one preferring Oikawa, after all…

 _No, no, no_ … He thought to himself, eyes wide open and frenetically turning around once again, _Kiku asked ME not to leave in her sleep, she even said she loved me in her sleep…!_

"… _But he… needs to live his life…"_

" _I… didn't even tell him… that I love him…"_

… _But she didn't say my name, she only said "him"…_ He realized, suddenly sitting up in the darkness of his room.

He pondered it a moment before letting out a pterodactyl screech, shaking his spiky hair in frustration.

"AaAAAGGH!"

"HAJIME! It's the middle of the night! Go to sleep!" His mother screamed from his parents' bedroom, across the other side of the hall.

The following day, determined to talk to Kiku, to wash away his doubts and to tell her his decision about whether or not he wanted to afford being in a relationship with her, he tried to contact her but when she didn't answer, getting impatient, he just went to the Akiyama Bakery. Only to find out Kiku wasn't here and had gone to see _him_. Curious because she hadn't told him anything, and he should have crossed her path, he went away, unaware of Shouta's burning gaze on his back. He tried again to contact her but no answer so he just went home with the hope he would meet her on the way there. What a shock it was when he looked up and saw Kiku exiting Oikawa's apartment, both smiling and Kiku blushing…

"What the…" Hajime murmured, going to a stop.

Kiku and Oikawa noticed him and looked up, stunned to see him there.

"Oh, Iwa-chan! Kiku-chan just wanted to go and see you!" Oikawa exclaimed, lightly pushing Kiku forward.

Her lips opened and closed, glancing between the setter and the Ace, blushing even more at his words. Her hesitant stance and the way it had seemed so forceful only increased Hajime's doubts. He frowned and approached them:

"Okay, I know you think I'm dumb enough to not be fooled but not to _that_ point. What the fuck is going on?"

"I don't see what you're–"

"Don't think me an idiot, Oikawa!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands to the sky with an exasperated expression, "Yesterday you said Kiku had gone ahead with Hanamaki but I saw her bike and you looked all embarrassed and you hid something from me! Are you the girl he met yesterday?!"

"What are you…"

Kiku's voice trailed off, looking up at Oikawa who bit his lower lip. From what she knew, the previous day, Hanamaki had gone off early, so did Mattsun, and later, while she was checking up the main building and cafeteria, Iwaizumi had been too tired and gone home ahead, leaving it to Oikawa and her to handle the check-up. He had been pretty tired so she hadn't doubted the setter's words.

"What did you _tell_ him?" She asked in disbelief.

Oikawa opened his lips to answer but Iwaizumi interrupted him:

"Hold on– why are you being so casual with him? Why did you come out of _his_ place?" He continued, still frowning, "Don't think I didn't notice you two talking to each other, and you being all close and overly friendly with Hanamaki and Matsukawa as well! You give me time to think about our relationship and you go with others after what? _Two days_ in our break?!" He exclaimed.

Oikawa's eyes widened, realizing that the distance between them during the training camp had been because of a _break_. Neither had mentioned anything and despite the distance, nothing had given it away. With how much himself, and Makki, and Mattsun, kept going to Kiku to tell her of a new plan, no wonder Iwa-chan's imagination had gone overboard.

Kiku, offended by his tone, whipped towards Hajime, slowly getting annoyed by the way he was treating her – he had barely looked at her the past few weeks, he had been almost indifferent all week even if she had been the one to give him time to think, and _now_ he was being territorial?

"Are you… being jealous…?!" She hissed.

"I'm not jealous! I just don't understand how you're functioning!"

"You ARE being jealous!" She exclaimed, glaring at him accusingly.

Oikawa glanced between the two, feeling trapped and suddenly worried.

 _Oh no, Makki, your plan worked TOO WELL and now he's boiling in jealousy…_ He realized.

"U-um…" He tried speaking up to calm them down but they didn't seem to hear or even notice his presence any longer.

"How _dare_ you be jealous when you barely show me any love and interest to the point where I doubt of your feelings for me?!" She exclaimed.

"We already talked about that, didn't we? And it has nothing to do with your behavior with the other guys!"

"I'm just– they're my _friends!_ I'm just spending time with my friends, like I would spend time with Yuuna!"

Hajime turned red in anger, violent emotions going on through his eyes.

 _Nice one, Kiku-chan, go and tell him you're spending time with me the same way you're spending time with Yuuna-chan – his rival who is so in love with you. Good._ Oikawa thought, waiting for Iwaizumi to blow.

"If you're being jealous and don't even understand what you're feeling then I can't help you! I gave you time to think if you were willing to be serious enough to _be_ with me – not to go and imagine things that never happened and _never_ will, and _especially not_ with someone like Oikawa!"

"I-I'm still here…" He intervened, feeling like he had been slapped by the honesty of her words.

"You think I didn't think about us these last few days?! That's all I had in mind!" He exclaimed, ignoring Oikawa.

Kiku opened her lips to answer to him but Oikawa appeared between the two, trying to interrupt them:

"Calm down, both of–"

"SHUT UP!" They both shouted, glaring at him for intervening.

He startled, stepping backwards sheepishly. But at the very least, his intervention managed to remind Hajime and Kiku they were still in public, even if no one else was around.

"I wanted to see you to discuss _that_ , so if you want to keep screaming at me because you're _frustrated_ , instead of _listening_ to me, go ahead! The door's opened!" Hajime said, pointing at his door and sounding bitterer than intended.

"Fine!" She exclaimed, going in with a roll of her eyes.

" _Fine!"_ He echoed, walking past Oikawa.

He opened his lips, trying to stop them because he wasn't sure they were in any state to talk about _anything_ but the door was already slammed close.

"…Be careful…" He murmured, going back into his own place, worrying a little for the two.

In the Iwaizumi apartment, empty except for the frustrated couple, Kiku went directly into his bedroom so they could have intimacy – in case one of his parents would come home. He followed her and found her with her arms crossed over her chest.

"All right, so, you wanted to talk. Talk." She said, annoyed.

During the few seconds they had not yelled at each other, Hajime had calmed down a little and despite her still, _obviously_ annoyed tone, he tried to keep his emotions in check:

"Look, I get that I messed up by not being intimate with you and I apologize for being _scared_ when I have the right to _be_ so! Considering who you are and what happened to you, freaking out about being _serious_ with you is pretty _natural!"_ He started.

Kiku looked up at him, unable to deny the way he felt because she knew he might have felt this way at some point – and it was why she had given him time to think.

"I'm thankful to you for giving me time to think about it and I did! I tried! But I couldn't think clearly because when you're _not_ here, I _can't_ function normally, not anymore! And it only proves that my fears are justified because i-it's scary depending so much on someone for your own happiness and everything!" He explained, "You're what keeps me _balanced!"_

Kiku stared at him, so many emotions going on in her eyes he couldn't figure out what she felt. From the way she looked slightly confused, she might not know how she felt either.

"Then why are you spitting it like some… disease?" She said with a light shake of her head, "I… I need _you_ too to function normally! And my crush and feelings for you, from _afar_ , were more than enough until you started showing interest in me–"

"Are you _blaming_ me for falling in love with you?" He exclaimed in disbelief.

"No! Don't twist my words! But our relationship didn't turn out as… as _perfect_ as I had imagined it to be!"

"I never imagined the girlfriend I was waiting for would be… _would_ _be_ …"

His voice trailed off and he didn't dare meet Kiku's eyes. She took a sharp intake of breath before stepping towards him, close enough so they weren't out of reach from each other anymore:

"Would be _what?_ Say it, Hajime! Say what you _really_ think of me!" She hissed.

"Would be so damaged!" He shouted, clenching his fists.

Kiku and Hajime looked into each other eyes, blue and green clashing with all of their emotions. Anger and sadness at what it had turned to be. But there was still the love they couldn't ignore.

"You, being damaged, makes me fragile and I… I told you I'm _scared_ of needing you someday. I don't know how to do to keep you… to keep you alive and happy! I keep messing up and… and…"

He let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes and letting his hands go over his face and into his spiky hair.

"And I _told_ you you need to _trust_ me. I'm not going to kill myself just because I had a nightmare! _No one_ is ever going to hurt me again! The Himura are gone, I have a family and friends and I… I _want_ to have _you_ too! But… you're… you're not actually _here!_ You're my friend and I-I'm _so_ in love with you but we… it feels like our relationship never really started beyond the sweet words and giggly smiles!" She exclaimed.

Hajime let out a heavy breath he hadn't realized he had been holding, looking down at Kiku, remembering what she had told him the other night.

" _Tell me if you're willing to overcome your fears and trust me with my own life."_ She had told him.

He realized it was all she wanted: a relationship built on love and trust, that he wouldn't doubt her or protect her from life because there was no reason for that. She had gone through _so much_ , no one could hurt her _that_ much again, not enough to take away all of her reasons to keep on living. She had told him that falling in love with him had given her a reason to get up in the morning, go to school, just to see him from afar, and this had been enough for a while. But when they started having feelings of _more_ , when they started _dating_ , he suddenly put this distance between them. No touching, no intimacy, no making it real. Because making it real meant making himself vulnerable. It was scary but… _but damn_ … he couldn't imagine his life without her anymore. He had fallen for her, heart, body and soul, he couldn't get enough of her. He wanted to see her, to hold her hand, to see her smile and hear her laugh. When she wasn't here or out of reach, he missed her. _Damn_. He was _so_ in love with her and he could barely grasp the depth of his feelings for her – if he didn't act upon it, how could she understand he would never leave her and he loved her for everything she was? He was scared, it was certain, but he had no more reason to be scared because his biggest fear, to become dependent of her, had _already_ come true. All he could do was hope they could start having a relationship built on love and trust.

Lost in his thoughts, he realized that Kiku, in his continuous silence, had continued, voice rising and rising, her voice becoming more raw as she expressed all of her feelings and insecurities:

"I don't even _know_ anymore if you love me because you've acted so distant, for so long, no touching, looking disgusted and away from me that I can't help but think that your feelings of pity and admiration for me blinded you! That you thought it was love but now that you don't feel any desire for me, you don't know how to break up with me!"

Hajime tried speaking up, a little hurt she'd think he didn't love her enough or didn't want her, but before he could say anything, she continued, unaware of his growing impatience:

"Now that I know that you're scared, I can understand but come on! Don't think I'm some precious doll, made of glass that you can't touch or look at because I'm NOT! I'm not innocent, and I _want_ you! I want you to _touch_ me, to _bite_ me, to _fuck_ me and express your love with more than sweet words and long stares!"

Even if he knew she wasn't as innocent as he had initially thought, hearing her express her desire and lust for him was _different_. She had thought of him, of his touch, of his teeth marking her skin and it certainly wasn't because of their last quick and intense make-out session from seven minutes in heaven – it was all the signs she had thrown to him but he had missed from how blindly scared he had been.

"To prove that you're not ashamed of dating someone like me! That you–"

Hajime suddenly cupped her cheeks and kissed her. She gasped against his lips, shocked by the sudden, unexpected kiss. He opened her lips with his tongue, ravaging her mouth with a long, intense kiss. Pulling away for breath, he looked down at her with intense eyes, burning with lust and love:

"I want you too, you silly!" He exclaimed before kissing her again.

She kissed back, both battling to keep up with the other but she suddenly stopped him by putting her hands on his chest and pulling away.

"Wait–"

"You want me to express my love with more than sweet words and long stares, right? Then, let me love you, so that you can understand, once and for all, _how much_ I'm in love with you! You think I didn't feel any desire for you? You're _wrong_ , I've been going _mad_ from lust for you and _only you_ , that I held back in fear of hurting your body and your feelings!" He exclaimed.

Kiku let out a heavy breath, blushing under his intense gaze as he forced her face to look up at him. His green eyes were burning from weeks of held-back sexual frustration, of annoyance for how things had turned out, of jealousy and possessive, and mostly, _endless love._

There was a short moment of silence when, even in his restless state, Hajime waited for Kiku to give him the get-go. Their hearts beat hard, in perfect harmony, they felt as if they could hear them resonate into the entire room.

Understanding that the only reasons why he never touched her were his fear of getting intimate and hurting her, Kiku felt a little stupid for doubting him. Of course he had put her safety and shyness first. How could he guess she wasn't the pure and innocent girl everyone thought her to be if she didn't express her desire for him with _words?_ This time, they had both been too quiet and mistrusting and they were _both_ to blame. She wanted to tell him all of that, make him promise that from now on, they'd talk about _everything_ – but they would have all the time in the world to talk after they had expressed their love for each other.

 **[NSFW]**

Her hands shot to the back of his neck, bringing him down for a passionate kiss. He answered at once, just as hot, his hands going to her waist and grabbing her firmly, pulling her against his muscular body, both cursing the clothes separating their skins from touching. Their kiss was so intense he pushed her until her back hit his desk, pushing it loudly against the wall. They ignored it, too taken into the make-out session they've been craving for so long. Hajime grabbed her behind and lifted her up, making her squeal before he let her sit on top of his desk. He hungrily started kissing her neck and shoulder, biting and sucking with all the frustration he had held back. She held onto him, moaning and already breathing hard.

He pulled her shirt over her head, looking down at her breasts held by a beautiful black and red lacy bra – not as innocent as he had thought her to be, _uh_. He admired her breasts for a moment, his hands cupping and squeezing them in awe and lust. But before he could get started, Kiku, just as lustful as him, pulled at his shirt quickly. He let go of her breasts, throwing his arms into the air so she could take off his shirt, her hands immediately going onto his chest. Both moaned as he went down to kiss her again, the hot bulge in his pants pressing against her warmth, her legs keeping him close enough to her body that his muscles would press against her curves.

Suddenly, the door of his bedroom flung open and they broke their kiss, turning around and seeing a panicked Oikawa.

"Iwa-chan! I know you're angry but don't hurt Kiku-chan and… and…"

Oikawa's voice trailed off when he took in the view. Kiku on Iwa-chan's desk, both bare-chested and obviously flushed from making-out.

Iwaizumi was the first to react, glaring at his friend for coming in unannounced and so _shamelessly_ :

"Can't you see we're _busy?!"_ He exclaimed, annoyed.

Oikawa had heard a loud bang coming from Iwaizumi's room – which had worried him because of how angry they had been a few minutes ago… but now he realized it might have been the desk being pushed against the wall.

" _Oh_. I'm sorry I had thought– well, I'm not going to bother you any longer but just… be safe – you have condom, Iwa-chan, right? Because if not I can–"

" _GET OUT!"_ The couple shouted in the same voice.

Iwaizumi grabbed the nearest thing on his desk, unfortunately, not a volley ball but a random notebook, and threw it at Oikawa who closed the door in time to avoid it. The notebook hit the door and they heard Oikawa running away.

"This _imbecile!_ What is he thinking?!" Iwaizumi hissed, glaring at the door.

"Who cares?" Kiku breathed, grabbing his face and forcing his attention back on her.

She pulled him down for another heated kiss and they immediately forgot Oikawa and his embarrassing, annoying intervention. Their hands traveled over each other's bodies until it became too much for Hajime who grabbed Kiku and easily threw her on his bed, making her squeal when she landed on it. She just had time to raise her head, that she saw him climb over the bed and making his way over her body like a wild animal. His lips started kissing her stomach, slowly making his way upward, making her sigh and let her head drop backwards. Between his hands and his mouth kissing and biting her body, she was slowly losing all consciousness of what was happening. It was too much, all at once and it was too good to be true.

When he reached her breasts, he started kissing and nibbling at the tender flesh, still amazed at how perfect they were in the palm of his hands. His hands went against her back and he swiftly opened her bra, making Kiku blink in disbelief while he threw it over his shoulder and went back against her breasts, massaging and kissing. She let out a pleased sigh, vaguely thinking that for someone without experience, he had easily and quickly gotten the hang of how to take off a bra. Hopefully, he'll get to do it again soon. She bit on her lower lip, her fingers going into his spiky hair, encouraging him and he bit hard, making her scream.

" _Fuck_ … it sounds so hot…" He mumbled against her skin, starting to kiss and tenderly bite on her neck.

His voice low, hard, trembling in frustration was _everything_ she had hoped and dreamed about.

Kiku let out a heavy sigh, keeping her hands into his hair as he gave her blinding sensations. Then she smiled, letting her head fall backwards, an ecstatic chuckle escaping her lips.

"Do you have any idea how _hot_ your voice sounds right now?" She answered.

He stopped his kissing, hovering over her, his green eyes diving into her blue ones. They stared at each other, desire and love filling the air, making it sparkle all around them. Then, Hajime smirked and her heart missed a beat. She bit hard on her lower lip to keep her squeal down just upon seeing this handsome smile. It was a smile she had never seen on his face – he often smiled at some joke, he'd grin in victory after a good spike, he'd smile softly to her and only her but _this_ … this was a smirk no one had ever seen. A smirk expressing that he _knew_ what he was doing to her body with just his voice and gaze and he was _enjoying_ it.

Kiku kissed him again, hungrily, and he kissed back. She moaned in his mouth while his hands wandered over her body and she dug her nails into his shoulders, making him groan and _gods_ was it a sound she loved.

"Fuck, I've wanted you for _so long_ …" He whispered in a trailed voice after this intense kiss.

It was Kiku's turn to smirk, rolling her eyes. Hands against his chest she forced him to roll over his back, climbing over his hips and looking down at him. He looked up at her, bewildered she had pushed him over and was the one now pressing her hips down on his burning erection through their pants. Hands still on his chest, she looked at his body from his handsome face to his broad shoulders, muscular arms… Her hands followed her gaze, brushing over his perfect pectorals, defined abs and his hipbones, leading her downwards right where their hips met. She bent down, her breasts meeting his chest as she kissed him, softly at first but quickly heating up while he finally shook himself out of his stunned state. His hands grabbed her behind and pushed her closer, making her squeal. Not only because he had grabbed so firmly her cheek butts through her clothes but also because it had made her covered pussy brush against his erection. Their thick jeans were making it hard to enjoy fully how it felt, but they were so hot and bothered that it was enough to make them close their eyes, groans echoing in the room. Hajime took the opportunity that Kiku was too overwhelmed by the sensation of pleasure to roll her over once again.

He started kissing her again, their chests now pressed together while his hands went to the rest of their clothes. He pulled hurriedly at his belt and zipper of his jeans, letting his hand brush over his erection to relieve some of the pressure, making him groan instantly. He hid his face into Kiku's neck before he grabbed her jeans. He managed, by quick, frustrated moves of his fingers to take off her zipper and she instantly lifted up her hips, letting him take it off and threw the jeans on the side. He took off his own jeans, barely realizing that only their underwear kept them from being totally naked. It was only when he felt her bare leg brush against his thighs and hips that he realized it. He straightened up, the vision a little unrealistic and leaving him out of breath for a short moment. Just sitting on his knees, with a wild erection, was already something he never thought would happen, but Kiku laying down, her beautiful body just burning to be touched more and more and _more_ , with only her panties keeping her safe from his hands and mouth… He almost came right here and then.

They could smell the scent of arousal from both, surrounding them, filling the room and their senses, making everything more intense. Hajime went down once again, kissing her breasts and stomach and making his way downwards. Kiku instinctively had the reflex to closer her legs before opening them for him. He purposefully ignored her pussy no matter how tempting it was to bury his head there, and he started kissing and biting the inside of her thighs. From the way she trembled under his touch, squealing and jumping, it was a sensitive area. He glanced at her, smiling to see her with flushed cheeks, eyes closed and heavy breaths escaping her lips.

She opened her eyes and met his gaze, both blushing even more.

"D-do you know what you're doing…?" She asked, sounding a little hesitant.

He realized that unlike the blowjobs she had given him, she had never received anything from him. Especially not down there, actually, she had never been so bare to him, or anyone else before. Despite her arousal, it was natural she felt a little anxious. Hajime kept staring at her intensely, nibbling lightly on her thigh, not realizing how hot his gaze looked and how much it made her insides clench in a painful pleasure. His other hand traveled the length of her other leg and he bent down, getting closer to her covered pussy. His left hand held her hip, the right one kept her leg up so he could still have a good access on her thigh. Without ever breaking eye-contact with Kiku, he let his tongue out, licking the entire length of her pussy even if it was covered by her panties. Kiku stopped breathing as he slowly traveled the entire length, discovering a new, addicting taste. Her panties were so thin he was overwhelmed by the smell and taste of her juices, proof of her arousal for him. _Gods_ , that was boosting his ego. When he felt a little numb under his tongue, her clitoris, he closed his lips to suck on it, earning a blissful gasp from Kiku.

She momentarily closed her eyes, breaking the eye-contact before looking back at him as he moved of a few centimeters away from her pussy. He could sense the silent question begging for an answer. He smirked knowingly, eyes sparkling mischievously.

"You're not the only one who did some research on the topic, sweetheart," he said in a hot voice.

She gasped again, blushing furiously when she realized he had understood she had made a _lot_ of research on how to give a blowjob.

He bit the inside of her thigh, closer to her pussy, which made her scream and jump. He smiled against the soft skin, glad to earn such reactions from her. His fingers twisted around the sides of her panties and he slowly started to pull them off, slowly at first but when she didn't say no and even lifted up her hips for encouragement, he gladly pulled it off in a quick, impatient move. Within seconds, he was holding onto her hips and burying his face once again. This time, there was no clothe to disturb the taste of her juices. Her squeals were smothered by his loud growl, vibrating into her entire body. Just like she had known what to do when she had given him a blowjob, he knew what to do to give her pleasure, despite a few clumsy flicks of tongue, he immediately managed to make her moan and sigh. One hand clenched his sheets desperately while her other hand shot to grab his hair ferociously, pulling and encouraging him to do more and get closer. He growled, following her lead while her moans increased in volume. Needing a break to breath and settle down the sensations going through _his_ body, Hajime pulled away, breathing heavily.

"It tastes so good…! Why didn't you tell me it'd taste _this_ good? I would have done that _weeks_ ago!" He mumbled, licking his lips and about to go back to his feast.

"How am I supposed to know what it tastes like for _you?_ But if it tastes half as good as your cum, I can't blame you."

Stunned by her words, he looked up from between her legs. She smirked, raising her eyebrow coyly. Momentarily forgetting what he had been doing a moment ago, he swiftly moved upwards to kiss her fully, his tongue meeting hers before their lips could and then their bodies pressing together as if they were made for one another. He kissed her intensely before pulling away, for breath and to look into her eyes.

"That's how you taste, for information," he said in a hot breath.

"I was too overwhelmed by the sensations your kiss gave me. Give me another taste–" she ordered in a low voice, pulling his face down for another kiss.

He happily obliged. They moaned when their bodies moved on their own, following the desire shooting through their bodies. His muscular chest pressing against her curves, her legs wrapped around his waist, he was trapped between her arms and legs – not that he complained. But it also meant that his painful erection was pressing, through his boxers, against her warm pussy. He closed his eyes and they both growled. Unable to hold himself back, he did it again and this time, Kiku held onto his shoulders, her thighs pressing against his hips, encouraging him. He cupped her cheeks, pushing away some of her hair, stuck to her face from how sweaty they were. He kissed her lips, while she moaned and turned her head away. He bit on her neck and her hips met his. He growled louder, he bit harder. His entire body tensed and slowed down as he tried to hold back to not hurt her. But Kiku's fingers went into his hair, tugging lightly. It forced his face away from the crook of her neck and she lifted up her head, forehead pressing against his, their heavy breaths mixing together.

"Don't. Don't hold back, don't be scared…" She breathed against his lips, with a soft smile.

She pressed her lips against his quickly but he was too overwhelmed by the sensations to kiss her back in time as she let her nose brush against his, biting down on her lower lip.

"I trust you, Hajime…" She whispered, sparkling blue eyes diving into his green ones.

He stared into her eyes, heart missing a beat before relief and peace of mind fell down on him. She smiled and was encouraging him, keeping him close to her, steadily rolling her hips against his and mostly, keeping her gaze into his, a necessary anchor for both. _That was it_ – it wasn't just a balanced relationship, the wish to be together, about love or unsaid desire… Kiku was Hajime's anchor, and he was hers.

Quietly, the same message went through their eyes as they realized it in the same time – they were each other's anchors.

Now reassured and knowing that it wasn't just his lust for her, but that she trusted him and loved him and desired him just as much, Hajime didn't hold back anymore. He kissed her intensely, keeping her lower lip trapped between his teeth as she moaned and the rolling of his hips against hers intensified. She was pinned down to the mattress for a moment because of the sudden vigor he was pushing against her but quickly, her nails digging into his back, their lips meeting for a short, desperate kiss, stealing air from the other but trying to give it back instantly, they rolled their hips in harmony. She squealed, he growled, her voice got higher and he let out a louder growl, their voices rising continuously, until they couldn't hear themselves anymore, weren't aware of what they were doing. They were only aware of how intensely they felt for each other, their eyes never leaving one another. They kept on moving, faster and harder, his fingers grabbing her hair desperately, her nails scratching his back. She screamed and he smothered his own growl by biting her shoulder but a second after, he let out a loud groan.

They came in the same time, their voices quieting suddenly, silence falling on them as they were blinded, overwhelmed by the sensation of being, for a short moment, beyond anything they knew and felt.

Their bodies froze, and a moment later, Hajime fell against Kiku, both breathing heavily, voices raspy. It took them a moment to come down from their high and he rolled on his side, remaining side by side with Kiku. Her hand shakily reached for him and he slid his fingers through hers, bringing her hand up to his lips and giving a long, hot kiss against her knuckles. Then he let his head drop on the mattress, letting their joined hands rest over his chest. He could feel her wild heartbeat through her fingers, and she could feel his heart resonating in harmony through his chest.

"That was…" He started.

His lips tilted up and he started laughing. He thought he was sounding creepy but her laugh joined his. The sparkling, happy sound he loved so much and hadn't heard in too long.

"See what we've been missing because you were scared?" She teased, sending a glance his way.

"Oi, my fears are not to be ignored."

She moved, lifting herself up on her elbow, still holding his hand but looking down at him, her hair falling around her face in a terrible mess. He could see the curve of her breasts, still red and slowly bruising from the hickeys he had left her – there would be no hiding these ones with her hair and Hajime swore to himself to not go around the Bakery until all of her hickeys were gone. He didn't want to finish baked by her father.

"I know." She said, sounding serious, but her eyes were sparkling happily after everything that had happened, "From now on, we promise we're going to share everything. Fears, doubts, insecurities, _everything_."

He kissed her hand again, nodding.

"Promise," he answered with a smile, his heart beating rapidly in mere joy to have her back in his life.

She smiled back, her eyes darting to his lips before looking back at his eyes. Her blue eyes sparkled even more, shining from unshed tears of happiness.

"I love you…" She whispered.

Their hearts beat faster, a peaceful warmth spreading through their bodies. It was her first _"I love you"._

"I love you too…" He murmured with an enchanted smile.

It was the first time he was saying it without being cause by anger or annoyance or any strong and undesired emotion.

Kiku laughed delightfully, tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks. His own eyes felt watery as he cupped her cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the beautiful tears but her smile was so bright it made rainbows shine in them. He wasn't sure if he pulled her down to her, or if she leaned down, but their kiss was tender and full of love.

When she pulled away, with her curvy body pressing against his, Hajime turned on his side, his hands playfully caressing her sides and making her chuckle.

"Considering we missed a few weeks of make-out sessions, we should definitely catch up while we have time."

"We have the entire time of the summer holiday to catch up," she said with a smile.

"U-uh, it won't be enough for me to have enough of you, cupcake." He said with a playful smile, rolling over her body and kissing her lips softly.

"You'd better get started then."

Hajime looked down at her, stunned. He would never get used to her suggestive flirting, or at the way it made his body feel so warm. His hands reached for her legs, pulling them apart so he could press his erection, hardening again, against her pussy.

"Ready for the second round?" He suggested with a smirk.

She smirked back but like before, she rolled him over, sitting on top of his laps and hands against his chest. Gods, she was so hot, looking down at him like that.

"You really think you can handle me?" She asked, with a mischievous smile.

He laughed, happier and more excited than he ever felt in his entire life.

* * *

 _A very long chapter, for the one-year anniversary of this story~! I'm so proud to have come this far and I'm so happy so many people are enjoying it! :D I hope it will keep up!_

 _Kijime is finally back together, happier than ever, no more sexual frustration or any frustration of any kind in-between._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : THE STAR FESTIVAL_

 _Once again, thank you all~! :D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	50. The Star Festival

_Hey! Sorry for not posting this chapter earlier but I wanted to take some advance in the chapters I was writing and stuff kept coming up and I didn't have time. I should go back to a more regular posting, but be aware that with the university, and now I have to write my master degree as well, it's going to be tough at times for me to have time to write new chapters._

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited nad reviewed! I hope you'll like this chapter! :D_

 _ **serena-pearl05** : Yes, they were just dry-humping! :) Their first time will be, well explicitly described because it's an impotant moment for them. Thank you evr much for your review, I'm glad you like the story and I hope you'll like what happens next! :D_

 _ **LadyAmazon** : Ahah, I suppose then, that I did a good jobo if it got you aroused, didn't it~? ;)_

 _ **xSuccubusQueen** : Thank you SO MUCH for your review, which means so much more coming from someone who doesn't usually leave reviews! You have no idea how happy your review made me feel! :D I'm- I can't even answer to your sweet words, I'm just so happy to know you love my story and especially ebcause it make syou FEEL. This is exactly why I'm writing and I just- thank you so much? I mean, I might sound a little... um, selfish because I have so many reviews and follows etc. but lately, so few people have shared what they think of my fanfictions, the number of reviews has really dropped and I'm happy for every one of them but I was afraid my writing, or my stories, were getting too... boring, or that people just didn't like them anymore. But to konw that I can still make people FEEL the stories they read, that I write... It gave me confidence again. Your review was a blessing ,so thank you! :D (life? What life? lol) And, well, I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story~! :D_

 _ **xxXsilverXxx** : Thank you! I'm veyr happy I've had so many faithful followers for so long, so thank you! :D I'm happy that you loved last chapter, which was a happy chapter, so~! _

_**Aquafin** : Thank you so much! :D I really laughed writing, and re-reading the Truth and Dare part! XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER L : The Star Festival

" _I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are."_

― **Jess C. Scott, The Devilin Fey**

" _I realized how truly hard it was, really, to see someone you love change right before your eyes. Not only is it scary, it throws your balance off as well."_

― **Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever**

" _There is no shame in being hungry for another person. There is no shame in wanting very much to share your life with somebody."_

— **Augusten Burroughs**

" _You can be lonely even when you are loved by many people, since you are still not anybody's one and only."_

— **Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl**

" _The quieter you become, the more you can hear."_

— **Ram Dass**

" _Eye contact: how souls catch fire."_

— **Yahia Lababidi, "Aphorisms"**

" _Have you ever met someone, spent less than thirty minutes with them and thought 'I could easily love you'."_

— **Donte Collins**

" _I've never felt this urge to be near someone until I got to know you. Maybe if there was a way for you to get to know me, you might feel the same pull. But you keep leaving before I get the chance to find out."_

— **Unknown**

" _When I first met you, that's what I remember. I looked up at the sky and thought, I'm going to love this person because even the sky looks different."_

— **Margaret Stohl, "Beautiful Chaos"**

" _It's awful, isn't it? The way humans can leave other humans without so much as a breath of goodbye–of where they are going or why."_

— **Unknown**

" _To the dumb question "Why me?" the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply: why not?"_

― **Christopher Hitchens, Mortality**

Hajime let his hands rest behind his head as he watched Kiku getting dressed after their last make-out session – just one text to tell her his parents weren't home and she had come. These summer holidays were the best he had ever spent. Morning practicing with Oikawa, and sometimes with other teammates, and the afternoon _entirely_ dedicated to his Kiku.

She caught sight of his staring and blushed even if, not long ago, they had done much worse than just staring. A silly smile appeared on his face:

"W-what?" She asked hesitantly.

"You're beautiful…"

"…Stop talking nonsense," she said, despite the smile on her face.

"No, _you_ stop talking nonsense."

"No, _you_."

"You."

"You!"

He stared at her, looking almost annoyed before disbelief made him shake his head.

"You know… I didn't think it'd happen like that. You used to be rather shy and quiet and now… you're speaking up your mind. Against _me_. You're _arguing_ with me – no one does that, not even Oikawa!" He exclaimed in incredulity to know that his adorable girlfriend could have such a temper.

Kiku stared at him before letting her body swing back towards the bed.

"And… does that bother you?" She asked, sounding curious and coy in the same time.

"On the contrary," he answering, pride swelling in his chest to know she felt confident enough to speak up her mind to him, "It excites me."

"Then I'm glad even Oikawa isn't arguing with you."

He couldn't help but flush, immediately trying to clear up the misunderstanding:

"N-no, I didn't mean this sort of excitement, I mean yes with _you_ , but not–" He stopped his embarrassed blabbering when he saw her lips tremble, holding back an amused smile, "Great… now you're making fun of me. You're teasing me." He realized.

She approached the bed, sitting on the edge and sending him a long, amused look.

"And… does that bother you?" She asked again, even though she already knew the answer.

"On the contrary…" He whispered with a smile, moving to be able to kiss her lips.

She chuckled against his lips, kissing him back tenderly, her hair falling down and keeping them hidden from the rest of the world. Suddenly, the door opened and they both turned around, sighing when Oikawa entered like he owned the place, not disturbed to see Kiku wearing only her shorts and a bra or his friend naked and covered only by his sheets.

"Can't you knock before entering? We could have been… _busy!"_ Iwaizumi exclaimed, rolling his eyes while Kiku put a shirt on herself.

" _Believe me_ , I would have known if you were ~busy~!" Oikawa answered, rolling his eyes and sitting down on the edge of the bed, "Seriously, you need to keep it down because I had to take Takeru eat an ice-cream so he wouldn't hear the two of you, he kept asking questions about why you were screaming! This ice-cream is on you, Iwa-chan, you owe me one."

Iwaizumi didn't answer, rolling his eyes as soon as Oikawa could only see his back. He grabbed his boxers and started getting dressed. Unfortunately, it wasn't the first time Oikawa had interrupted them. He often showed up after they had a make-out session – apparently, both Hajime and Kiku were being loud (they weren't aware of it and _tried_ to keep it down) and so, Oikawa always showed up at the end, estimating that it was over and he could come in. He never considered the quiet, cuddling part, interrupting them at _this_ moment.

"Iwa-chan, will you come to the Tanabata festival? We go every year! Makki and Mattsun will be there, so you have to come! Of course, you too, Kiku-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Don't worry, we had already planned to go there tonight," Hajime answered, glancing at Kiku.

They shared a knowing smile, Oikawa glancing between the two, his enthusiastic smile dropping.

"Oh. You didn't tell me, that you had already planned to go…" He realized.

It was strange for Oikawa, spending most of his time being bored and alone during the summer holiday. He usually spent it with his girlfriend if he had one, but he didn't at the moment; or with his friends. But all three were busy with their respective girlfriends.

 _What a joke… I'm the only one all alone…_ He thought to himself.

He opened his lips to speak up but upon noticing Kiku and Hajime, sitting right next to each other, smiling, eyes sparkling and talking to each other in a low voice, Oikawa felt like he was unwelcome. He didn't feel like he belonged here. He wanted to say something but just stood up and left the bedroom, his sudden absence going unnoticed by the two lovers.

Back in his own room, he fell down on his futon, not knowing what to do. _He_ had been the one to push Iwaizumi and Kiku together, they were made for each other and whatever trouble they had gone through recently, they were over it now. Kiku had thanked him, and Makki and Mattsun, for their help to push Hajime to touch her, but _obviously_ , there was no more need for them to make plans to get Iwaizumi jealous and horny. Tooru was very happy for his friends. But the more he saw them, the more hollow he felt.

Ever since Marika had broken up with _him_ , many girls had come and asked him out, jumping on the opportunity to date the Great Oikawa Tooru. Several were to his tastes, and he was often tempted, but for some reason he couldn't quite understand himself, he kept saying _no_ to every single one of them. He still didn't understand what Marika had accused him of – not spending enough time with her, neglecting her? He was a very busy man, after all. She even thought he was _cheating_ on her – it was _ridiculous!_ Oikawa Tooru respected women and would never do such a thing!

" _When we're_ _RARELY_ _together, it seems that you're not here_ _WITH_ _me! As if you're thinking of someone else! I can't bear the thought of being cheated on!"_ Marika had told him.

She had misunderstood, he was _not_ cheating on her. What Marika and him had had was good, she was pretty and nice, and despite her mistake about accidentally revealing Kiku's past, he had thought they could last a little more than a few months. It wasn't that he _didn't_ get bored with Marika ( _boy_ , he _did_ get incredibly bored now that he thought of it), but even if her eyes weren't nearly as green, she was the most resembling girl he knew to–

Tooru froze, forcing his line of thoughts to come to an end.

It wasn't the first time he thought of this girl, whose name he didn't even _know_. He had met her only four times in the past few years. Usually, it was during the finals against Shiratorizawa, she would always comfort and encourage him when he'd go crying on his own behind the gymnasium. Then, he had learned she was a student at Shiratorizawa Academy and he had vowed to never think of her ever again. But then… he had met her again. Just a few months ago, before entering his third-year, in the middle of town. They had literally bumped into each other and this time, this meeting had seemed _different_ , it had seemed _more_.

His hand went under his pillow and when his fingers touched a cool, metallic, little plaque, he took it out from under his pillow, staring at it. She had given it to him, this little plaque saying _"Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star~"._ He wanted to see her again, to know her name, her story, to keep looking into her beautiful green eyes… He had so many questions to ask her and yet, this one time, the only thing he had been able to tell her was _"W-will we ever see each other again?!"._ Ridiculous, really. A girl from Shiratorizawa. Even if she was _pretty_ , he had met her only _four_ times. Four little times over three years. And she was at Shiratorizawa! The same school as Ushiwaka, the same team that kept beating _his_ team!

 _Though…_

" _I wish!"_ She had answered to him back then.

Tooru sighed, letting his chin rest on top of his pillow, still staring at the plaque with written _"Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star~"_

In his entire life, he had never wanted _so badly_ to meet someone again. He had never been more curious, more intrigued by anyone _ever_. He had never found anyone so beautiful. What was so different about this girl that even after so few encounters, an unknown identity, and so little time spent together, he _couldn't_ forget her?

 _A few hours later, at the Tanabata Festival of Sendai…_

"Do you think she's all right? She's late, maybe I should check on her – she doesn't answer her phone!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, glancing from his phone, to the crowd then back at his friends.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa sighed with amused smiles to see him so panicked, while Oikawa laughed good-heartedly.

"Don't worry, Iwa-chan~! I'm sure Kiku-chan is only making herself pretty for you~!" He answered.

"Why didn't you wait for her to make sure she'd arrive safely?" Iwaizumi asked, staring firmly, almost glaring, at Hanamaki.

"Oi, don't look at me like that, I had assumed you'd go pick her up. Why didn't you, anyway?"

"She said she'd come here directly. But I should have gone to meet her anyway, to make her a surprise or something!"

"Don't worry, she'll be fine," Mattsun said, absentmindedly.

"What if she's not?! What if something happened to her?! What if– I'm calling her again."

He pulled out his phone just as it vibrated in his hand, a message from Kiku saying she would arrive soon making him sigh in relief.

"See? She's fine. Just late. It happens even to the purest of us to be late from times to times." Matsukawa said.

"And you happen to be late a _little_ too often," Makki teased with a grin.

"I'm not pure, so it's not a surprise for anyone."

Oikawa was distracted from his friends' banter when he heard some girls' voices.

"Look, look, aren't they handsome~?" One girl asked her friend.

Glancing from the corner of his eyes, Oikawa saw a group of three girls, staring at them from afar with blush on their cheeks. He smiled and waved at them nicely, making them blush and go away with excited chuckles. Oikawa had to admit that they were very handsome, many girls glancing their way as they walked by. While Hanamaki and Matsukawa had opted to wear casual clothes, Iwaizumi and himself wore yukata – for the first, it was to surprise his girlfriend, and for the second… Tooru just looked _magnificent_ in a yukata.

"Hajime!"

The call made all four turn around, Hajime grinning instantly when he saw Kiku arrive as quickly as she could, in her yukata and zori. She arrived near them with a flush on her cheeks, pushing off some hair that had fallen in front of her face and Hajime, who couldn't stop smiling like a fool, blushed as well. They stared at each other, both enjoying the vision of the other in summer festival's clothes. Hajime looked particularly handsome, with his brown kimono, slightly open on the front, reminding Kiku of a samurai – the only thing missing would be katanas to his sides but the kimono was enough to make her drool. As for her own yukata, she wore a pink and purple one, with pretty flowers. It showed her curves and she had a nice hair-pin holding her hair up.

"Y-you look s-so beautiful… you're adorable… I love you…" Hajime stammered, blushing even more and almost biting his tongue off in the process.

Kiku smiled widely, cheeks red and eyes sparkling. She opened her lips to compliment him as well but she was cut:

"Uuurgh," Hanamaki groaned, rolling his eyes and turning around, "Don't disgust me _yet_ , I want to eat festival food!"

"You are the disgusting one," Hajime mumbled, glaring at him for interrupting his and Kiku's moment.

With Kiku here, not expecting anyone else, the group started moving, Hajime and Kiku quickly falling behind and holding hands, never ending smiles on their faces.

"You look so handsome too, Hajime! Like a samurai! You look so cool and amazing!" She exclaimed before pulling lightly at his arm.

He leaned down, her lips going to his ear:

"And you are so incredibly _hot_ you can't even begin to comprehend how you make me feel…" She whispered so he would be the only one hearing.

He blushed madly but smiled, quickly leaning to her ear.

"I can't wait to try and take off your yukata, you look breathtaking," he answered in a low, hot voice.

"What do you mean 'try' to take it off? I have the full intention of taking off yours whether you want it or not, by the end of the night. And I hope you'll do the same to me." She said, blushing but unwavering.

He chuckled adorably, his fingers sliding through hers. He brought her hand up, kissing the back of her hand, the flirting atmosphere switching back to a fluffy one.

"Don't worry," he said, his warm lips against her skin.

"Ooooi, the two sweet pies over there! Don't get left behind!" Matsukawa called from afar when he noticed them remaining behind.

Hajime sighed, Kiku chuckled as they joined their friends. The group often stopped at booths, to play little games or to eat same food. They admired the colorful decorations made of paper all around town and the festival booths as it was custom for the Tanabata Fetsival, and especially in Sendai.

"Do you know where the Tanabata Festival comes from~?" Oikawa asked suddenly, turning around and walking backwards to face them.

"Oh boy, here he goes again," Makki sighed.

"China? Like, pretty much everything."

"Be a little more enthusiastic! Even after years of repeating it to you, you still don't know the legend behind the Tanabata Festival! Do my words mean nothing to you?!" Oikawa whined, starting to pout a little.

Kiku looked up curiously at the boys, all sighing and smiling at their Captain's antics. Then she turned towards him:

"What legend?" She asked.

He grinned happily, almost bouncing in excitement to tell her the story:

"The legend behind the Tanabata Festival is beautiful, full of magic and star-crossed lovers who–"

"Just get on with the story already," Makki said, rolling his eyes.

Oikawa glared at him before looking back at a curious Kiku:

"It's the love story between Orihime, daughter of Tentei, the Sky King, and Hikoboshi. Orihime wove beautiful clothes by the bank of the Amanogawa which is known to our days as the Milky Way. Her father loved the cloth that she wove and so she worked very hard every day to weave it. However, Orihime was sad that because of her hard work she could never meet and fall in love with anyone. Concerned about his daughter, Tentei arranged for her to meet Hikoboshi who lived and worked on the other side of the Amanogawa. When the two met, they fell instantly in love with each other and married shortly thereafter."

Oikawa paused for dramatic effect, Kiku smiling and glancing very quickly at Hajime before focusing again on the story:

"However, once married, Orihime could no longer weave cloth for Tentei and Hikoboshi allowed his cows to stray all over Heaven–"

"Because they were too busy fucking to care about that," Makki intervened.

" _Makki!_ Don't ruin the story!" He hissed.

"It's okay, I'm listening," Kiku said to calm down the setter.

He glared a little longer at Hanamaki before turning back to his audience – only Kiku, but it was more than usual anyway:

"Then, in anger, Tentei separated the two lovers across the Amanogawa and _forbade_ them to meet!"

"Oh no…" Kiku murmured, even though it almost sounded like she was making fun of Oikawa's overly dramatic tone – it made the others hold back their snickers and hide their smiles.

Nevertheless, now taken in by the tale he was telling, Oikawa continued with even _more_ enthusiasm than before:

"Orihime was sad at the loss of her husband and asked her father to let them meet again. Tentei was moved by his daughter's tears and allowed the two to meet on the 7th day of the 7th month – Tanabata – if she worked hard and finished her weaving. The first time they tried to meet, however, they found that they could not cross the river because there was no bridge. Orihime cried so much that a flock of magpies came and promised to make a bridge with their wings so that she could cross the river. It is said that if it rains on Tanabata, the magpies cannot come and the two lovers must wait until another year to meet. And that's how, every year, we celebrate Orihime and Hikoboshi's return into each other's embrace for just one day and one night~!" He concluded, arms spread out with a silly smile on his face.

"Deep down, you're just even more of a silly romantic as Iwaizumi," Matsukawa said, startling both.

"W-what is that supposed to mean, Mattsun?!"

"Yeah, how is this w-wrong a-anyway?!" Iwaizumi added, frowning but he was too embarrassed at being described as a _'silly romantic'._

"Iwa-chan, don't stutter or you don't sound convincing at all!"

"Don't blame _me!"_

Ignoring their banter, Kiku looked up at the sky and even if the stars were smothered by the city lights and pollution, they could see them clearly. No cloud, no rain, which meant that the magpies could come and let Orihime find her Hikoboshi. Smiling, she spoke up, making the boys shut up:

"Tonight, they can meet then…" She said with a lovely expression on her face.

All four looked up, thinking that perhaps, some Weaving Princess in the stars would meet her husband tonight… Then, Kiku's brows furrowed:

"You said the 7th day of the 7th month? But we're in August… I know that Sendai has the Tanabata Festival later than other cities in Japan, but why is that?"

"Well… I'm glad you asked, Kiku-chan," Oikawa started, while the others groan, earning a confused look from Kiku, "I read about this legend, not when looking for information about the Tanabata festival, but about the stars Vega and Altair who respectively represent Orihime and Hikoboshi."

" _Great_ , after the literary lesson, we get the astronomy one…" Makki mumbled, closing his eyes.

"The original Tanabata date was based on the Japanese lunisolar calendar, which is about a month behind the Gregorian calendar we are using today. As a result, some festivals are held on July 7th, and some are held on a few days around August 7th because of the 'One-Month Delay'!"

"The what?"

"By forgetting the lunisolar calendar and using the Gregorian one, there is a gap of three to seven weeks than in the original calendar. We invented a way to compromise by setting the dates for festivals later, it's called _Tsuki-okure '_ One-Month Delay'. The festival is celebrated just one solar calendar month later than the date on the Gregorian calendar." He explained.

Kiku stared at Oikawa with wide eyes, the others smiling at her confused expression. They knew what it felt like – they had gone through the same. The shock of hearing their fancy setter go on and on about legends and mostly, explaining phenomenons they could barely grasp the concept of, was always stunning. They still didn't understand most of what Oikawa explained but after all this time, they got the general idea.

"…I knew you liked aliens and stars… but I had no idea you were so knowledgeable, Oikawa-kun…" Kiku said, sounding in awe.

His ego would have been boosted if not by the way she had said it – as if he was a beautiful face with no brain!

"Aliens and stars…" He repeated disdainfully, rolling his eyes, "Well YES! But not _just_ aliens and stars! I love astronomy and physics! Stars are beautiful and space is so fascinating!" He exclaimed enthusiastically.

"This guy can point and name _every single_ star and constellation he can see with his bare eyes, and with a telescope he can give you an entire lesson on the topic. He knows every legend associated to the constellations. _Of course_ , he uses all this knowledge for stupid alien crap–"

"It's not crap!"

"–And we should probably blame him for being so _obsessed_ on such specific topics he loves, like volleyball or astronomy _but_ , he can be pretty impressive at both." Iwaizumi admitted, a little proud of his friend.

"What do you mean _'pretty impressive'?!_ I _am_ very knowledgeable, like Kiku-chan said! _She_ knows the value of my brain!" Oikawa exclaimed, huffing a little to be belittled by his friends who shrugged it off like some fancy liking for space and aliens.

Over the years, Oikawa had learned so many things about space and astronomy, he always aced the physics tests but mostly, he could talk about it all night long, pointing at stars and giving a story or an interesting fact about it. Iwaizumi loved space too, or he wouldn't be friend with Oikawa, just not nearly as much as he did. There were many things he didn't quite understand, but for Oikawa, it was as simple as calculating two plus two. Not many people knew about Oikawa's second passion after volleyball: astronomy. It had all started with a weird fascination for aliens, but now, he knew everything he could know at eighteen years old about space, physics and other life. Iwaizumi knew better than anyone how much dedication Oikawa gave to his passions, he had been his Ace for the past six years after all. But his knowledge about space and physics was truly impressive for a high-schooler.

"…It's incredible… do you want to become an astronomist, Oikawa-kun?" Kiku asked, not having expected such a career for the young man considering how extravagant he could be at times.

Oikawa looked at her with wide eyes – the stupid-fish look, as Iwaizumi called it.

"No. I want to become a professional volleyball player." He said as if it was obvious, "Don't you know that?" He asked, looking almost hurt she hadn't known that.

"Ah, um, yes! B-but, you could consider… another career path… in case your knee can't let you become a professional volleyball player."

Oikawa stared right into her eyes and she shivered, holding back the reflex to step away at the intensely calm, and quite frightening, gaze he gave her.

"I won't let it happen. I won't let my knee, or any injury, slow me down _ever_ again. I learned my lesson. I love astronomy, perhaps as much as volleyball, but I don't want it to become a job or a career, I want to keep enjoying it, the way I still enjoy volleyball. I just want them to remain my passions before my jobs."

Kiku stared at him, lips open… his knowledge was certainly impressive, almost as much as his skills in volleyball. But his raw determination was what left her the most awestruck.

Then, they continued walking, everyone silently pondering these words. After a moment, Kiku glanced up at Iwaizumi, seeing him lost deep in thoughts. Surely, Oikawa's words had echoed with his heart and his own wishes for a future path.

"…Hajime… Oikawa-kun said he wants volleyball to remain his passion and not a job, but he will become a professional volleyball player? How is it not going to become his job, then?" She asked in a low voice to not be heard, unsure she understood the depth of Oikawa's character.

Hajime looked up straight ahead, staring at the back of his friend, a few meters ahead.

"…You can't play on the National team without passion." He simply said.

Kiku was tempted to ask him if he felt as passionate about volleyball, and she was pretty sure he did, but was it as strong as Oikawa's determination? She wanted to talk about it with Hajime but right now wasn't the right moment as they walked through the Tanabata Festival.

Kiku's fingers brushed against the rains of tanzaku – wishes written on pieces of paper and hanging from trees or bamboos.

"Should we write one?" She proposed the boys.

They all agreed, Oikawa being the most enthusiastic one of all. Kiku picked up a colorful tanzaku and without much hesitation, she wrote down what she wished for and hung the tanzaku down, quickly disappearing in the sea of colors and wishes.

"What did you write?" Hajime asked when he noticed she had hurried to not let him see it.

She put her finger in front of her lips playfully, her eyes sparkling mischievously:

"It's a secret~" She hummed happily.

"Even for me?"

"Maybe not for you, but for now, let's call it a secret even for you!" She answered with a chuckle.

He looked down at the green paper in his hands, wondering what he should wish for. He usually wished for his family and friends' happiness and health, or for winning his competitions… but now he felt like he should write something more important. He wrote down a few words then hung it from the tree.

"What did you write? Will you tell me?" Kiku asked, trying to read it but he took her hand, forcing her to remain still and not try to read his wish.

"Only when you'll tell me yours." He answered, bending down and kissing her cheek.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa had already written down their wishes and were comparing them, laughing at whatever foolishness they had wished for. Iwaizumi glanced at Oikawa, surprised to see him staring at the blank, turquoise paper in his hands. He seemed undecided, hesitant, which was an unusual look from the setter on an everyday basis but especially for this Tanabata Festival's wish. Every year, Oikawa was the most enthusiastic about writing his wish, he always wrote the same wish but it never came true: to go to Nationals. But right now, he looked… _conflicted_.

Iwaizumi was about to ask him if he felt all right, suddenly worried, when Kiku tapped his hand, pointing at what was going on a few meters away from where they were.

"Takahiro!"

The group, except Oikawa who was further and didn't hear, turned to see Hanamaki's lastest conquest, Yumi-chan, coming up. She looked particularly nice in her yukata and she quickly greeted the other volleyball players before turning to her 'boyfriend'. Whenever Makki was confronted about it, they weren't _dating_. But it was the only girl he had spent time with, intimate or not, in the last few months so despite his denial, his friends could see that he was slowly, very slowly, starting to get attached to her.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, looking her up and down, admiring her figure in a yukata.

"The same as you, dummy!" She exclaimed with a laugh, "I'm here with my cousin and some friends. Do you want to join us? We're about to go get some food and then watch the fireworks!"

Hanamaki glanced at Matsukawa and the couple.

"I'm always up for food, anyway," Mattsun shrugged.

"Go on ahead then, we'll find you later once Oikawa is done with his tanzaku," Iwaizumi answered.

"Okay! See you later, then!" Hanamaki exclaimed, and accompanied by Matsukawa, they followed Yumi to where her cousin was.

Meanwhile, Tooru was still holding his piece of paper and his pencil to write down his wish. He had spent years wishing to beat Ushiwaka and go to Nationals, but it never came true so maybe he should wish for something different. Overcome his fears? No. Go to Nationals? Too general! Be the greatest setter of Miyagi? Already accomplished.

"After all I can't wish for anything else but beat this damn Ushiwaka…!" He mumbled to himself with a frown, putting down the pencil against the paper.

Beautiful green eyes flashed in his mind and he stopped. He was vaguely aware of the growing spot of black ink on the paper as the pencil tip remained on the paper for long seconds.

He remained silent, still and surprisingly calm despite the missed beats of his heart from sudden, unfathomable panic.

He lifted the tip of the pen, then he put it down again, writing down his wish with a clear, calm writing.

 _I wish for my dreams to come true._

He hung it at the tree then, after a final glance at this new wish, one he had never done before, not quite sure if it was right or not, he turned around and joined Iwaizumi and Kiku. He vaguely noticed the absence of Makki and Mattsun but right now it didn't matter.

"You took a long time, what did you write?" Iwaizumi asked him.

"…The same as usual!" He answered with a smile convincing enough to fool Kiku – but not Iwa-chan who could tell there was something wrong with his friend.

"I suppose you wished to beat Ushijima, right?" Kiku asked.

Tooru opened his lips to answer when they heard another voice:

"Do you want something from me?"

Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Kiku all froze, eyes widening at the familiar voice coming right from beside them. Slowly, they looked up and remained frozen in shock to see Ushijima Wakatoshi, in flesh and blood, looking back at them. He was accompanied by Tendou and Semi, both gasping upon seeing their rivals.

If the name 'Ushijima' hadn't been pronounced by Kiku, and overheard by the group, they probably wouldn't even have noticed each other in the crowd.

"Y-you… Seijou…" Semi started, blinking in disbelief.

" _Geh!"_ Oikawa cried out, finally reacting, face twitching in disgust, "What's with this devilish timing?!" He hissed.

"Hell if I know!" Iwaizumi answered, glaring at them and so tense, so suddenly that Kiku looked up at him worriedly.

Tendou noticed the two holding hands and gasped once again, this time more because he was crazy than out of surprise. He put his hands on his cheeks, moving forward and invading their private space – even though, he made sure not to get _too_ close to the glaring Ace and the demon manager.

"Are you two dating~?! Ahah! Good job on this one, Iwaizumi-kun~!" He exclaimed cheerfully.

Iwaizumi kept glaring, but flushed, which made him look less intimidating. Semi had to bite the inside of his cheek to not laugh at the unusual and unexpected sight, while Tendou looked overjoyed to see the Ace he loved putting down with his block, suddenly so weak. Kiku blushed as well, looking away from the group of third-years from Shiratorizawa.

"W-what are you doing here, anyway?" Iwaizumi asked, trying to change of topic out of embarrassment.

"What do you think? We're enjoying the festival," Semi answered.

"We're right next to Aoba Jousai! Why would you come all the way _here?"_ Iwaizumi asked, aware that Kiku was half-hidden behind him because of Tendou's creepy staring.

He glared at the middle-blocker who ignored him. Semi seemed hesitant about what to answer but it was Ushijima who answered:

"We visited some family of mine who lives nearby." He answered.

"…Oh."

There was a moment of long, awkward silence when Iwaizumi and Kiku stared at the three players from Shiratorizawa.

"…Enjoy the festival… I guess?" Iwaizumi said to cut short the time spent with these guys.

"…You too?" Semi said, while Ushijima nodded.

Kiku nodded back, glad to get away from Tendou and these tall, impressive, scary volleyball players – her team was much more manageable than these ones. But she couldn't take a step away that Iwaizumi's hold on her hand held her back.

"What is it? Let's go, Makki and Mattsun are waiting for us," she said.

But Iwaizumi glanced around before clicking his tongue in annoyance, looking back at her after a quick glance at Shiratorizawa's boys who raised their eyebrows inquisitively.

"…Oikawa has wandered off somewhere." He mumbled, annoyed.

 _Probably to get away from these ones, he was too annoyed to stay around. He could have warned, this imbecile…!_ He added to himself.

"…Do you need help finding him?" Ushijima proposed.

Everyone looked up at him, surprised to hear him say such a thing. He raised an eyebrow, not understanding why it'd seem weird he'd propose their help finding Oikawa when they didn't have anything better to do. Even if they often (always) met on each side of the court, they had no reason to be so discourteous.

"T-thanks… but he'll get out of his hole on his own. He's a big boy, he can handle himself." Iwaizumi answered after a thoughtful pause.

"Are you suuuure~?" Tendou asked teasingly.

"Tch. Yeah. He'll find us. Let's go, Kiku." He said, pulling at his girlfriend's hand.

They made two steps away when she tugged at his hand, giving him a long look. Finally, Iwaizumi looked over his shoulder, holding back a sigh:

"…It was nice seeing you. I think." He said, earning an elbowing from his girlfriend but he ignored it.

Satisfied he'd properly say goodbye even to his enemies, Kiku nodded to them and after some salutes, the three boys from Shiratorizawa watched them leave, quickly disappearing into the crowd.

"He's mad to cling onto such a crazy chick~ This manager is so scary~!" Tendou said, but he was smiling, looking strangely happy.

"You're the crazy one and it's your _natural_ state, so you don't have much room to talk." Semi answered with a light shake of his head.

"Eita-kun! Why do you hurt me so?!"

Semi rolled his eyes and followed as Ushijima lead the way in the opposite direction.

"We couldn't have helped much with looking for Oikawa anyway," he said.

"Right, right~ We have to go find Shi-chan~!" Tendou hummed, a light-hearted step taking him forward, many people glancing at him for his red hair, red yukata and erratic bouncing.

Ushijima nodded, accelerating a little.

Meanwhile, to avoid spending any time within the area in which Ushijima breathed the same air as him, Oikawa had escaped, too annoyed to run into these Shiratorizawa boys to care about anything. What were they doing here so close to Seijou?! Why did they have to come and ruin his evening? He was having a good time and their mere presence in the festival was enough to ruin his time, now reminded of the bitter defeats he had faced times and times again. The Spring-High was coming up, which meant he had a chance for revenge. He could not mess up this time.

Too lost in his thoughts, Tooru didn't look at where he was going, wandering annoyingly, in between people and booths to get away from Ushiwaka and the thoughts haunting him. Looking up, he realized he was far away from his friends, probably at the other side of the festival. He didn't even know where he was at first glance – it took him a moment to recognize the place because of the decorations for the Tanabata festival.

He was in a tiny park, with a tiny lake – more of a big pond actually – just behind the groups of booths, the trees were decorated with more paper decorations and some lost tanzaku. Calming down a little, he advanced further into the park, disappearing behind the colorful decorations and trees. There was no one around, so he took the time to breath and calm down. The surrounding trees and silence was soothing his soul from the torment he had felt just a moment ago.

More than mere annoyance, it had been a sudden panic rising within him. He was ready for the Spring High and to beat Ushiwaka but he hadn't expected to see him. It felt like a terrible nightmare, with Ushiwaka to come and ruin the day, breaking his hopes and dreams. Tanabata was supposed to be a festival about stars and wishes, it was why Tooru loved this festival so much – but with Ushiwaka appearing in the middle, it had made the entire festival look bland and meaningless. What about _stars_ and all of his knowledge if his skills in volleyball weren't enough to beat Ushiwaka? What about _wishes_ if his own determination wasn't enough to get stronger, work harder, practice more – until he could win?

His line of thoughts was cut when he heard someone humming nearby. He looked around, his sudden anxiety and fears being pushed back in the back of his mind as the sweet voice resonated in the silent park.

Tooru didn't want to interrupt whoever was here, relaxing the same way he did, probably thinking she was alone, but he couldn't hold back his curiosity. It was a sweet, nice voice and this song was…

His steps took him closer to where he could hear the voice, the words as comforting as a song he had heard many years ago, when he was a child. He suddenly remembered that day when he had assisted to a Tanabata Festival and had heard the Tanabata Song for the first time. It still created the same emotions in his heart, it still touched his soul after so many years.

" _Sasa no ha sara-sara_

 _Nokiba ni yureru."_

 _The bamboo leaves rustle,_

 _shaking away in the leaves._

As if echoing with the lovely song, a soft breeze shook the branches of nearby trees, making the tanzaku fly around beautifully.

" _Ohoshi-sama kira-kira_

 _Kingin sunago_

 _Goshiki no tanzaku_

 _watashi ga kaita."_

 _The stars twinkle_

 _on the gold and silver grains of sand._

 _The five-colour paper strips_

 _I have already written._

Tooru glanced up, realizing that the stars were shining brightly – probably because he and the mysterious singer were away from most of the festival lights. Or maybe it was the magic of the Tanabata Festival. The stars stood out more than usual.

 _I wish for my dreams to come true._ He had written earlier.

" _Ohoshi-sama kirakira_

 _sora kara miteru…"_

 _The stars twinkle,_

 _they watch us from heaven._

He suddenly arrived near a bench, surrounded and hidden by trees and he froze when he noticed someone sitting here. A young girl, around his age, she had been the one singing with a soft smile and closed eyes. Just as he arrived, and the song ended, she opened her eyes. She gasped upon seeing someone there and stood up, looking panicked.

"I-I'm sorry!" Oikawa exclaimed at once, lifting up his hands, "I didn't mean to bother you! Or listen! I shouldn't have, really, but… I…"

His voice trailed off as he observed more closely the young girl… and recognized her. Her lips fell open, apparently recognizing him as well. They stared at each other in stunned, calm silence…

She was rather tall for a girl, wearing a night blue kimono, with a yellow obi and beautiful details he couldn't quite make out – were these flowers? Or stars? Nevermind her yukata, he couldn't look away from her face. Her delicate features, dark brown hair held up with a hairpin, sparkling green eyes, as bright as emeralds, slightly widened as she stared back at him.

She shook herself, suddenly looking down, and swallowed hard, a flush appearing on her cheeks. Tooru's heart missed a beat, recognizing his girl from all these four little encounters. The very one he had tried not to think about, but had dreamt of all day long… The one who had given him a _"Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star~"_ charm, wishing to meet him again.

"I-I'm s-sorry…!" She said, turning around to leave.

"W-wait!" He called.

His hand reached for her wrist, stopping her in her track. He felt the smooth, soft skin under his fingers, the sensation shaking his body for a short moment. He was opening his lips, looking for words but when she looked up at him, he was too shaken up by her mesmerizing eyes.

"Y-you… you…" He stammered, feeling his cheeks heat up, "I-it's you… isn't it…? The girl I met many times over… you're the one who comforted me after all these defeats… right?" He asked in a low voice, as if afraid to destroy the dream if he spoke any louder.

It felt like an enchanting encounter, with a creature from another world – and she was so breathtakingly beautiful, he could believe it. If his evening had been twisted into a nightmare by meeting Ushiwaka, it was now changing again into a beautiful, unbelievable dream by meeting this girl.

She opened and closed her lips before nodding, too stunned to say any word.

"I-I am… and you are… Oikawa Tooru…" She said, a light smile dancing on her lips.

 _Gods_ , the way she said his name was making his heart beat so fast, he couldn't even understand _why_ he reacted in such a way, but _this smile?_ This timid smile sent waves of warmth though his body.

He had never felt this way for anybody before. Being with this girl, meeting her again, thanks to her enchanting voice guiding him to her, his fingers slowly sliding over her hand to brush her own fingers… Tooru was stunned, mesmerized, enchanted, he couldn't even describe how he felt, but it was the closest to warmth and peace he had felt in a long time… so long he couldn't remember the last time he had felt this way. Meeting again _had_ to be fate, especially on such a night.

Whatever Tooru felt at the moment, he knew that she felt it too.

 _~Tentei arranged for Orihime to meet Hikoboshi who lived and worked on the other side of the Amanogawa. When the two met, they fell instantly in love with each other…~_

"What… what is your name…?" Tooru asked softly, cheeks turning red and unable to look away from the girl.

She opened her lips to answer but whatever she tried to say was smothered by the sound of fireworks exploding in the sky. Both startled and looked up, the stars smothered by the bright explosions of fire and colors depicting incredible paintings across the sky.

Both Tooru and his unknown girl watched the beautiful fireworks, the bubble of silence gone but the peace still filling them.

 _~However, once married, Orihime no longer would weave cloth for Tentei and Hikoboshi allowed his cows to stray all over Heaven~_

The girl looked up at Tooru's face, illuminated by the colors of the fireworks, his eyes reflecting the sky. Dark blue with sparkles of red, gold and green. She couldn't tell what was more beautiful – the sky itself, or the way it reflected in Oikawa Tooru's eyes.

Her fingers escaped from his and even if the touch had been feather-light, Tooru immediately noticed it. He looked down at her, opening his lips but she spoke up before he could:

"I'm sorry, but I must go…" She said, already turning around.

"W-wait!" He called, going after her.

She accelerated but he didn't give up – not this time. She had disappeared from him too many times. He needed to know more about her, he needed to know her name, who she was – and then, perhaps he'd understand why she was haunting him.

"W-wait! At least tell me your name! Tell me if we can meet again!" He exclaimed, reaching for her once again as they approached the various booths of the festival.

She spun around just before she could disappear in the crowd, still looking up in awe at the spectacle of fireworks. Tooru didn't care about these fireworks any longer, all he could think of was trying to catch her, to keep her from slipping away from his fingers once again. He had spent the last three years meeting her only once a year, but his thoughts always drifted back to her. He needed to know who she was!

They faced each other, a strange, sad determination shining in her green eyes as she looked up at him. He could see all the sky lights sparkling in her eyes, but all he could see were the conflicting emotions in them.

"We _can't_ ," she said with a light shake of her head.

"Because you're from Shiratorizawa?!" He exclaimed, "I… I don't care!" He exclaimed.

His heart skipped a few beat, not realizing he had just said _that_. He hated Shiratorizawa, for beating his team every year, for having Ushiwaka there…! But _just_ for this girl, just _her_ … he _might_ consider not caring about where she came from. Even if it was Shiratorizawa Academy.

She opened and closed her lips, shaking her head before continuing:

"No, it has nothing to do with our schools but I just _can't_ see you again! I barely know you, you can't just… _you…!_ It's complicated, okay?"

"But–"

"But we'll meet again." She cut him, putting a hand on his chest.

He couldn't talk when she said these words, looking up at him so intensely. Then, a light smile appeared on her face:

"And… next time… I won't have to comfort you… okay?"

Half of the times they had met, it had been behind the gymnasium when Tooru was letting out his frustration and sadness for losing against Shiratorizawa. She had comforted him then. He didn't understand why she'd want _him_ to win against _her_ school's team but… he understood they would meet again. And she had faith he would win. He could not fail, not this time, it was their last chance.

 _~Then, in anger, Tentei separated the two lovers across the Amanogawa and forbade them to meet.~_

She turned around, disappearing in the crowd while the fireworks quieted down. Tooru advanced in the crowd as well, trying to catch sight of her, to keep following her but she was gone and the crowd was too thick…

What did she mean? It was complicated? Why? Because they were from different schools or other reasons…? He knew she had felt the same way he did a few moments ago, so why run away?

" _But we'll meet again."_ She had said.

He clenched tightly his fists, not understanding what the hell was wrong with him. He barely knew her, he didn't even know her name and yet, he was overwhelmed with thoughts of her. He didn't understand it at all but– _but!_

 _~Tentei was moved by Orihime's tears and allowed the two to meet on the 7_ _th_ _day of the 7_ _th_ _month…~_

They'll meet again.

 _At another part of the festival, a few minutes ago…_

"I can't believe we lost this imbecile!" Hajime mumbled for the fiftieth time tonight.

Still holding hand with Kiku to not lose each other, she struggled to hurry after him through the crowd. They were looking for Oikawa, with the hope they'd have enough time to join Makki and Mattsun but the chances were getting thinner.

"Ah!" Kiku screamed when she almost fell over.

Hajime immediately stopped and looked over his shoulder, keeping her upwards.

"Are you okay?" Hajime asked.

"I-I'm fine but my shoes hurt a little…" She mumbled apologetically.

"The fireworks won't be long, perhaps we could go and find a nice spot to watch them? You'll rest a little this way." He said, taking her hand again.

She smiled thankfully and after getting away from the crowd, they found a bench under a tree, half-hidden from people. While Kiku rested a little, Hajime went to get them drinks, sitting next to her as they drank in a comfortable silence. Hajime glanced at Kiku, in the same time she glanced up at him. They flushed, smiles on their faces. Putting down his drink, he took her hand in his and she squeezed lovingly.

"I'm very happy to be here with you, Kiku," he said in the soft voice reserved only for her.

"I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life," she answered with a tender gaze.

He grinned foolishly, excitedly, happier than ever. Leaning down to kiss her, she closed her eyes, waiting for his kiss just as the fireworks exploded in the sky. Distracted by the show, they looked up, in awe at the beautiful lights and spectacle, reflecting as kaleidoscopic colors into their eyes. Hajime looked down at Kiku once again, taking in the beautiful view of her bright smile, the sweet blush on her cheeks, her eyes shining of thousands colors like hundreds of rainbows illuminating her life.

"…You're beautiful…" He said suddenly.

It wasn't the first time, but every time he said it, it seemed to take her by surprise. She startled, looking up at him, as if asking if he was talking to her then, relief flooding within her, her eyes sparkled in joy. She leaned up towards him, kissing his lips softly. He kissed her back, his free hand cupping her cheek.

"…And you're breathtaking," she answered against his lips.

He chuckled, kissing her again.

It was long minutes after the fireworks had ended that they decided to move and try to find their friends. The crowd, after the fireworks, was moving again, everyone smiling after the beautiful show.

"Ah, sorry!" Kiku exclaimed after bumping into someone.

She blinked, staring for a moment at the girl wearing a night blue yukata… She seemed vaguely familiar but she couldn't remember where she had seen her before. She seemed a little distraught and shaken up, not hearing Kiku's apologize.

"Come on, I know where Oikawa is waiting. Matsukawa will join us there." Hajime said, after checking his phone.

Kiku's attention was back on him, catching up to be at the same level as him:

"What about Makki?"

"He's accompanying home his girlfriend and her cousin before going home." He answered.

Kiku smiled knowingly, happy for Makki even if he didn't know it yet. He finally found someone he wasn't running away from.

They found Oikawa at the entrance of the festival, even from afar, he seemed lost in thoughts and a little shaken up.

"Oikawa, you missed the fireworks," Iwaizumi said when he arrived next to him, wondering what had happened to see him so distraught.

"Ah, no, I watched them," he said even though he could barely remember any of it, his mind plagued with thoughts of his unknown girl from Shiratorizawa.

"All alone?" Kiku asked, feeling guilty for not finding him in time (even though, she had loved the fireworks kisses).

"A-ah, um…"

Oikawa seemed hesitant, glancing around and flushing a little. Iwaizumi and Kiku glanced at each other, then back at him, his best friend raising a curious eyebrow:

"Y-yeah, but… it's fine. It was beautiful, wasn't it~?" He continued, putting up a face.

"…I was a little distracted so, I don't know," Iwaizumi answered suspiciously, still observing him with narrowed eyes.

"O-oh, I see."

Oikawa looked back at him, knowing that Iwa-chan knew something had happened, the latter silently asking him if he wanted to talk about it.

"Yo!"

They turned around as Matsukawa arrived:

"If I didn't have a lovely girlfriend already, I would have hit on Yumi-chan's cousin!" He announced, somewhat proud of it.

"Of course, you would have," Iwaizumi answered, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"Not everyone is blessed by True Love, like you two," Mattsun answered, staring at the couple.

They blushed happily, which would have made him roll his eyes if he wasn't in such a good mood.

"Do you have anything else to do? Or can we go home?" Oikawa asked, surprisingly calm.

"Uuh, no, it's fine by me. I'm getting tired anyway, all the food I ate is making me sleepy." Matsukawa answered with a shrug.

Kiku and Hajime nodded as well, finding Oikawa's behavior strange. They walked some of the way together before Matsukawa went on his own and the last three stopped.

"Then…" Kiku started, looking at Hajime and Oikawa.

"I'm… uh, I'm supposed to spend the night with Kiku but… are you okay?" Iwaizumi asked his friend.

Kiku glanced between the two, worrying for the setter who startled guiltily.

"E-eh? I-I had no idea that you… I'm fine! I'll see you tomorrow, Iwa-chan~! And be safe, you two~!" He exclaimed with a wink.

"O-oi!"

Oikawa turned around, quickly walking away and obviously escaping the couple.

"…I wonder what might have happened to him. Perhaps he met an alien?" Kiku proposed, trying to light up the mood.

"He wouldn't shut up about it if it were the case… I wonder what the hell happened when he went off. Is it because we walked into Shiratorizawa?" He pondered, the couple going into another direction to the Akiyama Bakery and house.

Kiku shrugged, if _Iwaizumi_ didn't know what was wrong with Oikawa, no one could figure it out.

Seeing her worry for their friend, Hajime squeezed her hand, leaning down and kissing her cheek quickly:

"Come on, let's go back to your place, I want to take off your yukata now!" He said, making her blush and smile.

"You're going all out, now, aren't you…" She sighed, but she sounded amused.

"You were asking for it, weren't you?"

She looked up at him, eyes sparkling in mischief.

"Yes, I was!" She exclaimed, accelerating and pulling at his hand.

Their laughs echoed in the night as they continued their way, feeling warm and happy.

BONUS

 _[Back at the Tanabata Festival…]_

"Shiiiii-chaaaa~nnn~!" Tendou called when he noticed the tall and familiar figure coming closer to them.

She arrived near the three Shiratorizawa boys, glancing over her shoulder, acting a little strange then turning back towards them with a smile.

"Is everything all right, Shiori?" Wakatoshi asked worriedly, frowning lightly.

"Was there someone following you?" Semi asked, looking just as protective.

"A-ah, uh, no! No one!" She exclaimed awkwardly, lifting up her hands, "I just bumped into someone who looked familiar and I was wondering where I had… seen this person…" She explained.

"We crossed path with some of Seijou's players, maybe it was one of them?" Semi said, raising an eyebrow.

"P-probably…" She answered.

Tendou got closer to Shiori, invading her private space but she was used to it and didn't mind, looking up at him curiously:

"Where were you, Shi-chan~? We had said we'd look at the fireworks _together_ but you were _gone!"_

He gasped dramatically, leaning forward with his big, round eyes staring right into her green ones:

"Could it be… you were meeting your secret lover~?" He hummed.

Shiori gasped, startling and blushing. All three boys stared at her with wide eyes, not understanding this reaction.

"W-what are you talking about, Satori?" She continued, chuckling lightly but it sounded off.

They were silent, observing her closely until Satori's lips trembled:

" _Ooooh~!_ How unusual~! Our Shi-chan is flustered~! I wonder what Shouhei-kun is going to say when he'll learn about it~!" Tendou continued, staring straight at Shiori to embarrass her.

She pouted stubbornly, clenching her fists and looking up at the red-head, she even tried to lift herself up on her tiptoes to get closer to his height but she couldn't, even if she was taller than average. She wasn't fazed by his long limbs though, her gaze didn't waver once:

"He won't say _anything_ because there's _nothing_ to learn about!" She exclaimed.

"Is there, really~?"

"Yes!"

"It's enough, Tendou, you're annoying her again, let her breathe," Semi sighed.

Tendou chuckled good-heartedly while Shiori turned around, putting her hands on her hips stubbornly.

"The two of you in the same place is exhausting…" He muttered before looking up at Ushijima, "Should we go?"

"Yes, let's go if we don't have anything else to do here."

"Now that the fireworks are done, it's going to get boring~! Let's go, let's go~! AH! Perhaps we'll meet your secret lover on the way back, Shi-chan~?" Tendou continued teasing as they slowly walked out of the festival to go to the nearest train station.

" _Sa-to-ri!_ _Wakatoshi!_ Tell him to stop!" Shiori exclaimed, turning towards the grand Ace when she got too annoyed.

"Tendou, you heard her." He simply said, used to these two's antics.

"Aaaaww…~" He hummed, smiling in glee to have caused so many flustered reactions from the usual calm and collected Shiori.

As soon as Tendou's interest switched to something else, Shiori let out a discreet sigh of relief. She glanced over her shoulder as they walked away from the festival booths and crowd. Tanabata Festival had always been her favorite, but today had been particularly interesting. Meeting again Oikawa Tooru.

"Shiori?" Wakatoshi called when he noticed the young girl falling behind.

She hurried after him, Tendou and Semi arguing about something, probably caused by the middle-blocker. Shiori slid her arm under Wakatoshi's and they settled for a calm pace, slowly going back to the dormitories of Shiratorizawa Academy.

* * *

 _I was so happy to write about Shiratorizawa~! Talking about Shiratorizaawa - I posted some days ago a one-shot about Ushijima called "Stronger", it's a very quick reading if you have some time! Don't hesitate to go and tell me what you think, I'm really curious about your opinion on it!_

 _You finally met Shiori, Oikawa's girl and the main OC of his future story "Aliens". YES, they've met before, but you'll know the true events in his story. NO, Iwa-chan doesn't know about her (yet). YES, she had some link to Shiratorizawa/the volleyboys. NO, Oikawa still doesn't know her name, his knowlegde about her is just that she is at Shiratorizawa and he is fascinated by her. And YES, they will meet again (not sure if it will be in this story, though, I might keep it for "Aliens")_

 _Everything mentioned about the Tnabata Festival - the legend, the calendar stuff, the particularly of Sendai's Tanabata Festival... it's all true and I hope that the physics' explanations about the different calendars was clear enough... " Don't hesitate to ask any question! ;)_

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the aspect of Oikawa liking astronomy (it's not canon, but well, it's one of my favorite headcanon about him~!), the little bits you've seen of Shiraotirzawa and Shiori~! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, so... tell me what you thought of it! :D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : [still haven't found a title, lol] (but I can say that a little dog you might have been waiting for will come back~! ;) )_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	51. Mad Dog's Return

_Here is the new chapter! Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **xxXsilverXxx** : I'm impatient to post Aliens as well! :) Ahah, yes, with Shiori, we'll get to see Ushijima, Tendou, Semi for the most part, but I'll try to add the other Shiratorizawa boys (but these threea re my favrotie, so~) Tooru just needs to wait a little longer to have his happy ending, but he'll have it as well! :D_

 _ **Aquafin** : Thank you! I'm glad you found it cute!_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER LI : Mad Dog's Return

" _I like how sleeping next to someone means more than sex sometimes, the body's way of saying 'I trust you to be by my side at my most vulnerable time,' you have no defenses when you are asleep, you tell no lies."_

— **Eric Shaw**

" _People only bring up your past when they are intimidated by your present."_

— **Unknown**

" _You teach me again what it is. To be human…"_

— **Paul Éluard, Liberty**

" _Love someone who is kinder to you than you are to yourself."_

— **Nikita Gill**

" _There is nothing more seductive—and dangerous—than being listened to."_

— **Donald Antrim, The Verificationist**

" _Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love."_

— **Erich Fromm**

" _I never realized that we need to talk with other people just to know that we exist. That we matter. Loneliness is a howling, empty cavern inside of me that just keeps growing."_

— **Cheryl Rainfield, Stained**

" _I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here."_

— **Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak**

" _Some people can't believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first."_

— **Good Will Hunting (1997), Dir. Gus Van Sant**

" _I shower you with kisses every day and night because I know your body has yet to feel the power of an unending love."_

— **Malcolm Moon**

" _Is it really that bad if someone sees who you are? Why is it humans have a problem with letting someone else see that they are human?"_

— **Joseph Gogler**

Laying on his stomach, Tooru was trying to read his favorite space magazine but he couldn't focus on it. He couldn't stop thinking on what had happened a few days ago at the Tanabata Festival. Meeting his unknown, Shiratorizawa girl…

" _But we'll meet again."_ She had said.

Suddenly flushing, his mind going wild, he hid his face against his pillow to muffle his whines while his legs kicked the air annoyingly. Finally getting tired to be on his own, mind full of unwelcome thoughts, he stood up and went directly to the Iwaizumi apartment. Taking off his shoes, he noticed that Iwa-chan's parents weren't here, but Kiku was. Considering the lack of screams and giggles, they weren't making out which meant he was free to go. Smiling because it meant he could spend time with both his friends, Tooru went directly, excitedly, into his best friend's bedroom but before he could call him, he stopped there.

Hajime and Kiku were tightly embraced, sleeping deeply enough to not have been woken up by Oikawa's sudden arrival. They were still clothed, but they were holding onto each other tightly, sleeping with more peaceful expressions than Oikawa ever saw on their faces, and especially Iwaizumi's.

They were cute but right now Tooru wanted his friends.

He quietly closed the door again, going away in silence. He went back into his own bedroom and sat down, grabbing a volley ball and wondering what he should do with his free time when he was all alone.

The days went by, Hajime and Kiku spending most of their summer holiday together. They would go at each other's places, mostly at Hajime's because they were more likely to be left alone at some point in the day, doing some homework, watching movies, taking care of their pets, making-out whenever they felt like it… It was a nice time spent together, getting closer and more intimate.

Kiku grinned happily when she received a message from Hajime, telling her his mother was gone for the rest of the day. She finished getting dressed then happily hopped down the stairs to the bakery, grabbing a few muffins to bring him.

"I'm off!" She exclaimed, saluting her parents.

She was already at the door when her father called her:

"Kiku, a moment, please!" He called her.

She turned around curiously while her parents shared worried looks:

"We wanted to talk to you," Nanami said.

"Right _now?_ I-I have to go, I have to see Hajime and…"

"We know, it's about him we want to talk to you."

Curious and worried, Kiku nodded, following them in the back of the bakery.

"We've been thinking that lately you spend a _lot_ of time with him, and we're glad you're happy and get to spend time with your boyfriend…" Nanami started, a little awkwardly.

Shouta gave her a look, his silent way of saying he wasn't _that_ glad his daughter was spending so much time at her boyfriend's house.

"But we don't want it to have any consequences on your grades. It's your last year so you have to work really hard – especially if you want to follow the path you told us about. I'm not even sure this is the right choice but–"

"We're in holiday! And we've been studying, we're not just having fun! What are you trying to tell me, exactly?" Kiku interrupted.

"We don't want you to get your hopes too high." Nanami finally said.

Kiku stared at them in confusion, not understanding why they would think such a thing. She knew exactly what she and Hajime wanted in their relationship, they were very serious about each other. They had gone through _"high hopes"_ phase already, they had almost broken up because of the lack of balance, but now everything was fine.

"I saw the way you two acted during the training camp, you didn't seem to be very close and you avoided each other." Shouta continued.

Kiku's lips fell open, realizing what had given so much doubts to her parents… If her father had seen them act this way because they were taking a break, of course he'd worry.

"Oh… we had, a few disagreements back then but, Hajime and I are fine now. We're serious about each other and we don't want to mess it up. We're fine." She said with a smile.

"I don't want you to be hurt, Kiku." Shouta added.

She stopped moving, her shoulders dropping and a sigh escaping her lips.

"…No, you don't want me to get depressed and try to kill myself again." She corrected.

They both tried to talk but she cut them before they could:

"But it's okay. I won't. Even if Hajime ripped by heart apart and broke up with me, I wouldn't try to kill myself. I'm stronger now." She said confidently.

Nanami and Shouta glanced at each other worriedly despite her words. Kiku was about to leave but hugged her parents before disappearing from their view, hurrying to join Hajime as fast as possible.

Half-way there, though, she slowed down, thinking back on her parents' words. She understood their worry but she wished they would trust her, and Hajime, a little more. Now that Hajime trusted her with her life and didn't seem as afraid as he used to be to make their relationship serious, her parents were worrying about the same thing. Did they all really think she was _this_ fragile that she'd break at the slightest sad thing happening in her life?

When she hugged Hajime, he immediately noticed something wrong in her smile.

"Hey, you're okay, cupcake?" He asked worriedly, caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers, brows furrowed at her expression.

"Better now that you're here." She admitted.

He let her in and took her into his room, letting her sit down and patiently waiting for her to open up to him.

"…My parents talked to me before I left, about _us_ …" She started, looking down.

"Ah…"

He kept his lips thin, waiting for her to elaborate:

"They're worrying about me, they think you're going to break my heart and I'm going to…"

His lips fell open as her voice trailed off, unable to say outloud what they had both understood. Hajime took a deep breath then reached for her hands, taking them in his:

"I… suppose they're right to worry about you. About _us_. I mean, we're dating someone for the first time, obviously we're going to make mistake, and maybe have our hearts broken a little in the process but… it doesn't mean that we won't stay together." He started calmly, understanding her parents' point of view _and_ why Kiku felt down.

"I _know_ , but they're so scared I'll get weak again… I hate worrying them, but I also hate that they even worry about me to begin with."

Hajime put his fingers under her chin, lifting up her face so her eyes could meet his:

"You're the strongest person I know, Kiku." He said with a smile.

Her eyes sparkled when she heard these words and he continued with a reassuring voice:

"If someone can survive, it's _you_. It's _normal_ for parents to worry for their child, but… I know you can make it through, no matter what comes your way."

He kissed her forehead and she smiled, her eyes laughing again. She pulled him for a kiss on the lips, both chuckling when he fell on top of her on the bed. He pulled away, looking down at his beautiful girlfriend and smiling:

"Talking about parents who worry…"

"Don't tell me… yours too?" She asked, wondering if they had talked to their respective children on the same day on purpose.

Hajime sighed, rolling on his side and playing with her hair while he explained with a flushed, sheepish expression on his face:

"You remember the other day when my mom caught us doing… stuff?" He asked, glancing away in embarrassment.

Kiku blushed, she couldn't face his mother after being caught naked, her son's head between her legs. She hadn't seemed _that_ surprised, probably too shocked to really take it in, but…

"I… do…"

"Well, she told my dad. And asked him to give me um, the talk."

"…The talk, as in, the talk-talk? _The_ talk?" She repeated, blushing even more.

"Along with a box of… condoms." He answered with a nod.

"Oh…"

Kiku glanced away from him, staring at his ceiling. He didn't dare meet her gaze yet as well, both blushing and taking in the information. Kiku's heart was beating fast, trying not to get her hopes too high but if Hajime was mentioning it to her, it meant he had thought about it, right? And not just because his parents had given him the "talk" (that he definitely didn't need considering all three of their friends were sexually active _and_ they had had sex ed in high-school).

"So…" Hajime continued awkwardly after the silence became too long, "…If you had thought of it, _what_ you thought of it… I mean– I'm just, just curious about your opinion on the… um, matter…"

"…I-if we do i-it… u-um, I can't take the pill so…"

He glanced at her, finally, his green eyes burning into her blue eyes. She blushed even more, avoiding his gaze.

"What do you mean?" He asked, practically all the girls took the pill nowadays (or so it seemed according to his friends who always checked several times with their sexual companions).

"I-I can't with all of my other medicine… it makes me sick…" She explained sheepishly, "S-so, if we have to do it… we could only use condoms as contraceptive and it's… it's not a hundred percent effective so we have to be certain a-and careful…"

"…Do you… _want_ to do it…?" He asked, cheeks turning red.

She glanced at him very quickly before looking away, hesitant.

"I-I t-think so… eventually, someday… m-maybe not right now, _right now_ but… but it also depends on whether or not _you_ want to do it…"

"I do."

Surprised by his lack of hesitation or embarrassment, that he had answered so quickly, she looked up at him. Hajime looked down at her with confidence, his green eyes shining, his cheeks were red but… but he seemed certain.

"Y-you do…?" She hesitated, blinking in disbelief, "E-even if… even after everything that happened? Even if it's me? E-even if you didn't want to touch me not long ago?"

"What do you mean _'even if it's you'?_ There's no one else I'd want to do it with _but_ you!" He grumbled, frowning a little she'd think so little of herself before answering her other questions, "And… as for everything that happened… I got over it. That's why we started being intimate, right? D-doing it… um, _making love_ is… just the next step… I'm ready. I'm not saying I want to do it right _now_ within minutes, but… eventually, when you'll feel ready, I'll be up for it." He explained rather calmly.

She realized that it wasn't just his parents giving him the talk that had given him ideas, but that he had really pondered the question. The "talk" was just an excuse for them to discuss it.

"…Do you… um, do you want to do it _soon…?"_ Kiku asked in a nervous voice.

He looked down at her, still blushing but a soft smile appearing on his face:

"I'm not asking you to do it if you don't want to, Kiku. Whenever you feel ready, just say so. Even if it's in two days, or two months… or two years… that'll be a little long but, my point is– I'll wait for you as long as you need time."

Kiku observed his soft expression and tender gaze, sighing softly at the sight. She smiled, reassured and happy to have found such an amazing man to love and who loved her back. She leaned up, kissing his lips softly before falling back on the bed.

"Thank you…" She said with a smile, "And don't worry, you _definitely_ won't have to wait two years… or even two months… maybe not even two weeks…" She said, a little teasingly.

He blushed but grinned, a little excitedly at the perspective that soon, _very soon_ , they might reach the most intimate act of their relationship.

The rest of the holiday went by quickly, between studying, practicing here and there, a few days spent with their friends, spending time just the two of them, they were back to Aoba Jousai before they could realize it. There was one thing different from before the holiday though, and Hajime realized it only once they were back to school and to their usual rhythm.

"Is something wrong, Oikawa?" He asked his friend after a few days of observing him closely.

Oikawa looked up at him, eyes slightly widened in surprise.

"No, everything is fine," he answered with his usual smile.

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at him. Ever since they had been back to school – no, ever since they had gone to the Tanabata Festival, Oikawa had been acting strange. Hajime had been so happy with Kiku that he hadn't noticed it with the little time he spent with his childhood friend but now, it was obvious. He was smiling a little less often than usual, he was a little less cheerful – not that he seemed unhappy, but Oikawa constantly seemed to have something on his mind.

He opened his lips to talk but then, Hanamaki opened the door of the changing-room:

"Oi, you two, hurry up or you're gonna be late at practice! Mizoguchi is in a good mood for once, don't fuck this up!" He exclaimed, already leaving to join the rest in the gymnasium.

"We're coming, we're coming~!" Oikawa hummed, checking another time that his knee was held up correctly and grabbing his single kneepad and shoes to leave.

Iwaizumi grabbed his arm, forcing him to look back at him:

"Oi, if there was something wrong, you'd tell me, right?" He asked in a hard voice, but his frown was only out of worry.

Eyes slightly widened, Oikawa stared at him, stunned by the sudden and unexpected behavior of Iwaizumi.

"Of course, but nothing's wrong, Iwa-chan!" He exclaimed cheerfully.

Iwaizumi still wasn't convinced though. He took his kneepads and shoes and followed him to the gymnasium.

He fully intended on confronting Oikawa about it without having the risk of being interrupted, but it would not be today as an unexpected event took everyone by surprise.

Around the end of practice, they were taking a break, Iwaizumi and Oikawa discussing what the training camp had done to the team – overall more stamina and more power. Which was what they had aimed for. It was quiet so it was a surprise when they heard Yahaba crying out suddenly:

" _Oi!_ Now that you've finally decided to show up, you should at least announce yourself!"

Everyone glanced around, and was stunned to see someone at the entrance. Most knew him but for the others, they worried a little upon seeing a dangerous-looking guy. Short blond-cropped hair with two stripes on the sides, a nasty gaze and eating food – even the way he was munching seemed dangerous.

Oikawa grinned widely, which wasn't surprising Iwaizumi as he held back a sigh.

"Now, now, now," Oikawa intervened calmly, approaching the wild boy, "Calm down, Yahaba. It's been a while, I've been waiting for you. Welcome back, Kyouken-chan!" He greeted with open arms (literally).

The rest of the team didn't seem quite as glad, though. Kiku stared at the boy from behind Iwaizumi's back, wondering where she had seen him because he looked familiar…

"Ah! I remember! You're that boy from the other day!" She exclaimed, stepping forward with a smile.

"You know him?" Iwaizumi asked, frowning lightly, arms crossed over his chest.

"Yes! He… um, he helped me out…"

She glanced quickly at Kyouken-chan who was glaring at her just for addressing him, she hadn't told anyone about the bullying so she hoped he wouldn't say anything.

"He helped me bringing papers to the teachers' room," she explained sheepishly.

Iwaizumi frowned even more, not believing it one bit – it didn't sound like Kyoutani, _at all_. He didn't think he was a bad guy, but he wouldn't be the type to go help out a lady in difficulty. Especially not when Kiku didn't have any trouble carrying the papers – or _he_ would be helping her out.

"I was wondering where I had seen you before, it's because I saw you on the volleyball team, isn't it?" Kiku continued.

Kyouken-chan stared at her for a long moment, understanding she didn't want the bullying to be known. He swallowed the last bits of his food just as Kindaichi glanced at his senpais:

"W-wait, who is this Kyouken?" He asked.

"A second-year named Kyoutani Kentarou, Oikawa-san just decided to call him 'Kyouken'. He was pretty famous in Junior High, remember?" Yahaba started, frowning in disapproval at the return of Kyouken-chan after dropping out of the team for so long.

"Ah, yeah, I remember. Minamisan Junior High was strong just that year."

"He was never a team player, but his abilities were superb for our grade. As soon as he joined the club, he had a chance to be in a practice match… But he suddenly butted heads with the third-years… What he said might have been accurate but the way he said it…"

Yahaba paused for a sigh, reminiscing the previous year.

"His attitude towards the third-years didn't change, and he eventually stopped showing up." He concluded.

Kiku, who had listened as well, turned back towards Kyouken-chan. Sure, he seemed to be a little rough around the edges, but he had helped her out and he couldn't be _that_ bad.

As if on cue, Kyoutani spoke up, voice low and hard and immediately proving her wrong:

"What the hell? There are still third-years around? I thought all of you would have retired after losing at the Inter-High prelims."

The third-years all showed annoyed expression, angry veins popping at their foreheads while the second and first-years startled in shame that a kouhai would dare speak this way to their respectable senpais. Even Kiku, who wasn't nearly as touched by these words as her boyfriend and friends, felt bad for the lack of respect.

"And who's that chick?" He continued, giving a sharp nod towards Kiku.

"Oi, a little respect here, will ya?" Iwaizumi grumbled, putting a hand on Kiku's shoulder and ready to step in front of her protectively.

She glanced up at him thankfully as Kyoutani huffed annoyingly.

"I didn't think girlfriends were _allowed_ in here." He added.

Kiku flushed as being recognized as Iwaizumi's girlfriend – did Kyoutani know beforehand? Or was it her boyfriend's gesture just now that revealed it all?

"She's not just Iwaizumi's girlfriend, she's also our manager and part of the team! You owe her respect as much as the rest of us!" Makki exclaimed.

Kyoutani raised an eyebrow, not impressed by the wing-spiker's defense towards their manager. A chuckle made everyone turn towards Oikawa:

"You're as funny as usual, Kyouken-chan~!" He hummed, looking happy for some strange reason.

"I wish you'd stop calling me that," he said with a glare.

"' _Ah! I'm so happy I got to play on the team while Oikawa-san was still here!'_ – I'll make you feel that way." Oikawa said, going from a happy-go-lucky voice to such a serious expression it sent shivers down everyone's back.

Kyoutani jumped away warily and Kiku flushed, using her notebook to vent her cheeks. Iwaizumi glanced down at her curiously.

"Lucky no fangirl of his heard that or we'd have to call the hospital…" She murmured with a little, embarrassed smile.

"Do _you_ need to go to the hospital because you're really red!" Makki teased.

"Don't tell me you're one of his fangirl?" Iwaizumi grumbled, brows furrowed, starting to feel irked.

"I wouldn't consider myself one of his fangirl but when a handsome man says these words with such an expression and such a voice, _any_ girl would need some air." She answered seriously.

Iwaizumi huffed, rolling his eyes. Kiku glanced at him worriedly, hoping she didn't hurt his feelings but while the Ace didn't look her way, Makki elbowed her and winked with a grin, silently telling her she had said what was needed. Even if it worried her more than anything. Hajime and her's relationship was good and stable, she didn't want him to get annoyed or be hurt because of what she had just said…

Discreetly, while Kiku was worrying about her words and whether or not she should apologize to Hajime, Hanamaki surrounded the Ace's shoulders with a teasing grin:

"Jealous?"

"As if!" He exclaimed, huffing annoyingly and shrugging him off, walking away.

Matsukawa approached Hanamaki, glancing between the two:

"Are you sure it's a good idea to rile him off?"

" _I_ didn't annoy him, Kiku did! Which means that every bit of attention turned to another man will lead Iwaizumi to get more possessive, and you know what possessiveness can make of young men like us."

"Idiots?"

"Pff, why do I keep talking to you?"

"You _do_ know that now that they're actively making out, we don't have to make more plans for these two."

"Who said I was doing it for _them?_ I'm just teasing them for my own fun."

"You're a terrible person," Matsukawa concludd but knowing he would probably tease and help out anyway.

With the return of Kyoutani, the coaches asked for a three-on-three but the regular players sat it out to watch what their mad dog could do on his return, commenting on his good form despite months without practice with the team – _communication_ would be the first priority for this powerful player that could be a good chance to kick the team's overall power.

By the time practice ended, and without quite knowing what to do about Kyoutani, most of the team went off while Iwaizumi and Oikawa remained behind to talk about Kyoutani's return with the coaches.

"Let's add him to the regulars!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Oi, he missed practice for almost a year. It wouldn't be fair for the ones who remained here all this time." Mizoguchi answered, raising an eyebrow, "Without mentioning that he _really_ needs to get over his personal grudges if he wants to play without disturbing the team's dynamic."

"It's not personal grudges, it's his _personality_ -short he needs to get over. But we're used to guys who are difficult to handle," Iwaizumi answered.

"Are you okay with this as well? That's what you're saying?" Mizoguchi asked, brows furrowed.

Iwaizumi seemed hesitant, glancing at Oikawa then turning back towards the coaches:

"If you decide to keep him on the team, make him a regular or not, then… we'll be able to handle him, _that's_ what I'm saying. It all depends on why you want him among the regulars, Oikawa." He continued, turning towards the Captain.

"The team as it is lacks power – we have Iwa-chan as Ace and main power players, the others are all powerful but we need someone who could overthrow the balance in our favor. We need a push to get stronger – mere strength is what makes us lose against Shiratorizawa every years, we just need to get stronger." Oikawa explained.

"Which is why the training camp was so intense – to get stronger. But I'm not sure that Kyoutani would be a strong card to play, if anything he'd throw off balance the team. His presence on the court might reduce all of your progress and advancements to nothing." Mizoguchi answered.

" _Might_ ," Irihata added, attracting the attention on him, "But he might also prove to be an effective player to use. With more power, the team would have more powerful attacks. Oikawa, do you think you can use him to his fullest capacity?" He asked.

"Of course, I can," he answered without hesitation, "I wouldn't take such a risk otherwise. I _know_ what might happen if Kyouken-chan isn't used properly."

"I still think that's risky, with his bad personality, he could put at risk the entire team's balance and–"

"I'll make sure it doesn't happen," Iwaizumi intervened, "If Oikawa will be the one to use him, _I'll_ be the one to keep him in line."

Oikawa smiled proudly of his Ace's confidence – if any of their teammates would have been here, they would have probably awed at how cool he sounded.

"Oikawa… isn't usually wrong about a player's skills and possibilities. If he thinks he can use Kyoutani to give our team more power, then he'll be able to do it. A little more power can't hurt us." Iwaizumi continued.

He glanced at his friend, giving him a long, hard stare and silently, Oikawa understood everything Iwaizumi intended to say with this gaze: _"I trust you to use him to his fullest, you'd better not ruin this, it's our last chance."_ Oikawa nodded firmly then both Captain and Vice-Captain turned, determined, towards their coaches.

Mizoguchi hesitated, still unsure but Irihata chuckled, glad of their confidence.

"If you think you can handle him, then let's try it out. I'll prepare a practice match for next Tuesday. We'll put Kyoutani in, and if you can handle him well, Oikawa, we'll put him among the regulars. So that he can be used as a supplementary source of power."

"Thank you!" Oikawa and Iwaizumi exclaimed, bowing down politely.

The coaches left and after closing everything, the two friends went to the changing-room just as the last ones were leaving. Everyone was too tired to talk much about what had been discussed, but it would definitely be the first topic the following morning. Iwaizumi and Oikawa changed and gathered their stuff but when Oikawa remained silent for a long moment, his friend turned towards him, reminded of his strange behavior.

"How is your knee?" He asked.

"Fine, fine, don't worry about me, Iwa-chan~!" He answered, exiting the changing-room just as Iwaizumi locked it.

"We didn't have time to talk about it, but you're acting really weird, Oikawa. If you need to talk about something, just do it! I'm here, you know?" He mumbled.

Tooru remained silent, pondering these words. Looking down as they walked, he wondered whether or not he could talk about his mystery girl he had met at the Tanabata Festival to his best friend. He had never talked about her with anyone. Sharing this secret felt like it might destroy everything, even if nothing had actually happened.

"I… I think I–"

Tooru's voice was cut short when Hajime suddenly went to a stop next to him. Looking up at him, he saw him staring at something further away. Following his gaze, he saw Kiku and Kyouken-chan talking.

"Sorry, you'll tell me tomorrow, okay?" Iwaizumi said quickly, patting his shoulder.

Oikawa opened his lips but before he could say anything, Iwaizumi was quickly going to protect his girl even if she wasn't in danger. His jealousy had pushed him to go into over-protective mode with his girlfriend. He cared more about Kiku than he cared to listen to his friend's heart trouble. Tooru wasn't really surprised by this… after all, Hajime had spent more time with Kiku than with him lately… and when they _had_ spent time together, he had always been frowning because he was missing Kiku. Now he was smiling.

But… but Tooru wished he wouldn't have had to keep these encounters with the Tanabata girl a secret for so long, he wished his best friend would have noticed before that something was wrong with him, that he would have understood he needed to talk of something to _him_ …

"…See you tomorrow…" He mumbled, hands in his pockets and looking down as he walked back home, alone, because Hajime was accompanying his lovely girlfriend home.

A few moments ago, Kiku was waiting for Hajime at the school entrance, saluting all of the team boys as they passed by to go to their respective homes. Suddenly, she recognized Kyoutani and she jumped after him:

"U-um, Kyouken–" She started shakily.

"Don't call me that!" He said, frowning at her.

She startled, swallowing hard before forcing herself to speak:

"U-um, s-sorry…"

She hesitated, watching him walk away before she ran after him:

"Kyoutani-kun!" She called, making him stop and look over his shoulder suspiciously, "T-thank you for the other day… helping me out with these girls… and not saying anything when you came at practice. I-I'd prefer to keep it that way if you don't mind…"

He huffed, looking away from her but before he could answer, the imposing figure of Iwaizumi Hajime arrived, putting a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder. He frowned down at Kyoutani, even if he wasn't looking down from very high.

"Is everything okay?" He asked in a hard voice.

Kiku's heart missed a beat, praying he hadn't heard her words but from the way he was acting, it didn't seem like it was the case. Kyoutani looked back harshly at Iwaizumi then turned away.

"Yeah." He mumbled, walking off before he could be interrogated any more.

Kiku looked up at her boyfriend as he slid his hand in hers and they started walking back to the Bakery.

"T-thank you… but there was no reason for you to show up like that and ask him it this way…"

"What were you talking about?" Hajime asked, confirming he hadn't heard.

"I-I was trying to give him advices on how to get along better with the others on the team…" She mumbled, glancing away.

Hajime felt a little guilty, ruining her efforts by making Kyoutani think he wasn't welcome by the way he had talked to him. Not that many _would_ welcome him anyway, especially among the second-years.

"S-so, what was decided?" Kiku asked.

"He'll try to play for a practice match, then if it works out, he'll be a regular." He explained quickly.

"O-oh… it's sad for whoever will be benched for his place…"

"Yeah… but Oikawa might use him right, and we could have more power. You've seen that spike of his? The swing of his arm and his back muscles are a force to reckon with." He continued with a confident nod, "Shiratorizawa won't know what's coming their way!"

"…They practice with Ushijima-san all the time, don't you think we'd need more than just a powerful second-year with a vicious glare to throw them off?" Kiku asked, afraid they might get too confident about Kyoutani's arrival on the team.

"What will throw them off won't be his power, but the fact we're having such a guy on our team."

Kiku seemed unconvinced but he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Don't worry, it'll be good for the team. If Oikawa thinks–"

"Oikawa-this, Oikawa-that! He can make mistakes as well!" Kiku exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

"Not when it comes to volleyball," he answered without blinking.

"And his knee?" She continued, turning towards him.

Hajime didn't answer. Of course what had happened to his knee had been a mistake. Oikawa himself knew it better than anyone, which was why he wouldn't make the same mistake again.

"He learned from it."

"Did he? Y-you've seen how he was during the entire training camp, how he's been lately… he's been practicing like hell for his jump serve and whatever he does, you always go along with it. I know you keep an eye on him, b-but… don't forget to keep an eye on yourself as well… Hajime. I… I don't want you to get hurt… or to get your hopes broken…" She murmured, looking down as they went to a stop.

"Hey…"

He tilted her head up with his fingers under her chin. Kiku stared back into his eyes and he smiled:

"You don't have to worry about me… I know what I'm doing, okay? And even if he seems so unreliable most of the time, so does Oikawa. The Spring-High is coming up, what we need from our manager is her encouragements, not her doubts. What _I_ need from my girlfriend is… support… okay?" He said in a tender voice, sounding almost shy about what he needed.

Kiku's lips opened and closed then she sighed.

"I'll always support you, Hajime. Unless what you do is dangerously reckless. Then, I'll have no choice but to hit you hard on the head, so you can get your ass back in the game."

He chuckled and nodded.

"Sounds like a deal to me!"

She smiled back and went on her tiptoes, quickly kissing him. She was about to continue walking when his hands grabbed her waist, pulling her to him and kissing her again, deepening it a little more. They kissed for a while, under the stars, feeling blessed to have each other…

On his way back home, a silly grin on his face, Hajime's thoughts trailed back to Oikawa. What was it he had wanted to talk about? It had seemed pretty important. He felt a little bad about walking out on him so suddenly but… surely, he would understand that he had needed to be with Kiku.

 _Right, he never felt this way about anyone before, there's no way he'd understand… I hope he won't get childish again…_ He thought, thinking back on his strange behavior and what Marika had asked him before breaking up with Oikawa… _He never felt this way about anyone before, right?_

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I think you might like next chapter becasue ~someone~ appears! :D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : DETERMINATION FOR THE FUTURE_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	52. Determination for the Future

_Hey! Sorry for not posting this chapter earlier, it was ready but I was ready tired these last three days... " Real life is a little difficult for me recently and it's hard to find the time or the right mood to write, so I might take longer to poster chapters but I'm not forgetting you, I promise. :)_

 _I was asked this in a review but I'm putting it here for everyone to see: Sowlmates will eb updated soon. Because I want both stories to finish aroudn teh same time, I have to catch up with QV in the arc - but as soon as the Spring High is over, the two stories' timelines will be aligned. I'm gonig to start writing the SH chapter next, it'll be one long and big chapter which might take some time to write! :)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **xSuccubusQueen** : Reviewes always make me happy! :D Thank you so much for your words, it really touches my heart and I really need it! :)_

 _ **Aquafin** : I wish I could explore Mad-dog-chan's character more, but I don't think it'll be much possible before the SH arc. :) _

_**RukaHatake75** : Sowlmates will be updated as soon as the SH chapter has been posted here! Promise! :) It's an interesting arc, so you won't be disappointed! ;) _

_**Madama Crimson** : I'm very happy you reacted this way, I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story~! :)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Of course, they will! Kiku is definitely going to go all mother-mode on him, like she is with everyone else, ahah~! XD It's okay, I was a little worried but I'm glad to know you're fine and still reading this fanfic! :) Actually... it's not just one someone, but I'll leave the surprise to you~! ;)_

 _ **guest1** : Thank you so much! I hope you'll enjoy it even more! :D As of "old stories", if you mean Sowlmates, it'll be after this fanfic's SH ac done; and as of old stories... the only ones I will eventually update are my Akatsuki no Yona, Loki and LotR fanfic... :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER LII : Determination for the Future

" _To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles."_

― **T.F. Hodge, From Within I Rise: Spiritual Triumph Over Death and Conscious Encounters with "The Divine Presence"**

" _Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek."_

― **Mario Andretti**

" _Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can."_

— **John Wesley**

" _We cannot decide to love. We cannot compel anyone to love us. There's no secret recipe, only love itself. And we are at its mercy – there's nothing we can do."_

― **Nina George, The Little Paris Bookshop**

" _God will bring the right person into your life at the right time. Always believe that! If they are not there, God isn't finished yet!"_

― **Shannon L. Alder**

" _One does not seek love,' she told him, 'it should find you all on it's own"_

― **Barbara Lieberman, The Treasure of Ravenwood**

" _A good friend keeps your secrets for you. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets."_

― **Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall**

" _We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."_

— **Oscar Wilde**

" _It is absolutely okay with me if you need to keep some secrets. I've been thinking about this and I decided that a best friend is someone who, when they don't understand, they still understand."_

― **Nancy Werlin, Impossible**

Kiku noticed that something was wrong from the way the students of Aoba Jousai seemed so curious, glancing occasionally at the gymnasium. She initially thought that it was because of the arrival of so many alumni from Seijou for today's practice match but it wasn't the first time it happened either so why were they so confused?

She shrugged it off when they continued their way to their club activities or off the school grounds. Bringing some more drinks for the boys for their practice matches today, her steps slowed down when she saw a vaguely familiar silhouette crouched down and trying to look through a window into the gymnasium.

"…Kageyama… Tobio-chan…?" She called, unsure if it really was him.

But when he jumped at his name, turning around with a panicked expression on his face, she recognized him. Oikawa and Iwaizumi's kouhai from KitaIchi, the former teammate of Kindaichi and Kunimi, the talented genius who had fought so hard, along the rest of Karasuno, against Aoba Jousai during the last InterHigh…

"I-it's you, right?" She continued, approaching him.

He startled, jumping on his legs and glancing around in panic to be caught. He was probably about to run away when Kiku spoke up again:

"What are you doing here?" She asked with a smile, trying to reassure him.

Kageyama looked back at her, looking lost and confused, almost scared… then, knowing he was caught and wouldn't escape his fate, his shoulders went down. Kiku glanced between the window then back at him, understanding that he might have tried to recon some information on Seijou.

"…Were you spying on the team?" She asked.

He flushed in embarrassment to be caught, his fists clenching and unclenching uncomfortably, his gaze glancing around nervously.

"U-um, d-don't you think you'd see better from the benches inside?" She continued.

He turned wide eyes towards her, not believing her words.

"I-I mean… most students from outside aren't allowed here, b-but it happens that some are exceptionally allowed… friends, family, former teammates… aren't you a former teammate of several members of Seijou?" She continued hesitantly.

He opened and closed his mouth, looking unsure and… hurt… Kiku observed him closely then kept her lips thin, knowing what had happened between Kageyama and all his former teammates from what Hajime had told her. She still didn't know most of the details, but she knew everything she needed to understand why he'd be so hesitant in getting any closer to his former teammates, and especially Oikawa.

"…Stay here, okay?" She said softly.

She ran into the gymnasium, hoping he wouldn't get scared and run off. But when she entered on the courts, she glanced to where his window was and saw his crouched silhouette. If she didn't know he was here, she wouldn't have noticed him. His gaze was focused on Oikawa as the setter was talking to some alumni with whom he was about to play. Kiku went straight for Hajime, tapping his bicep to attract his attention.

"T-there's someone to see you. O-or rather, he's here to observe Oikawa but… I don't know what to do about him…" She explained hesitantly.

"Someone?" He repeated, confused.

"A lost crow," she answered.

His lips fell open, apparently understanding who it might be. Hajime turned towards Makki, giving him the water bottle he had been drinking:

"I'll be back soon," he said quickly.

"Okay, hurry up, the set is about to start."

Iwaizumi nodded, following Kiku outside the gymnasium. Without much surprise, they found Kageyama still crouched down and glaring at Oikawa from the window – _no_ , not glaring, he was just staring intensely.

"Kageyama." Iwaizumi called, a little surprise to see his former kouhai.

Once again, Kageyama jumped, turning around to the couple.

"I-Iwaizumi-san!" He exclaimed, before bowing down in a mix of respect and apology for being caught spying, "I-I'm sorry for coming so suddenly and spying on your team!"

"…It's not _my_ team, it's Oikawa's. He's the Captain. Though, he doesn't act like it most of the time, but you know how he is, uh?" Iwaizumi answered, crossing his arms over his chest as Kageyama glanced up at him curiously, "What are you doing here, shouldn't you be practicing?"

"…I wanted to see how much Aoba Jousai– erh, _Oikawa-san_ had evolved since the Inter-High…" He admitted, looking down.

On his face appeared many emotions: the fear and pressure of trying to keep up with the setter he looked up to, but excitement for a new challenge and a revenge during the Spring-High…

Iwaizumi observed him closely – he had always tried to be a more reasonable voice to Kageyama, than Oikawa was. He never viewed Kageyama as dangerous, but he wasn't a setter. He understood Oikawa's fears, but he also understood that Kageyama couldn't help being born a genius. For a short moment, he thought back on that night that changed so much for all three of them, the night Oikawa almost hit Kageyama if it hadn't been for Iwaizumi stopping him. He felt guilty for not having intervened earlier when he had seen the scene because ever since, there wasn't only awe and admiration shining in Tobio's eyes – there was also fear, caused by Oikawa and what he could do to him. Oikawa had learned his lesson, he wouldn't let his emotions take over like that, at least not concerning Kageyama but the latter had yet to understand why Oikawa had reacted in such a way, and how much crossing his path had changed Oikawa for the best.

If anything, Iwaizumi was thankful to Kageyama for appearing, even if it had changed everything for all of them.

Just as he opened his lips to say something, Kindaichi appeared in the doorway:

"Iwaizumi-san! We need you to…"

His voice trailed off when he caught sight of Kageyama. Kindaichi frowned and straightened up, huffing:

"What are you doing here, King?" He asked in a hard voice.

Kiku glanced worriedly between the two first-years. She knew there was bad blood between them _too_ , but she was getting worried. Kindaichi had rarely showed such an angry expression. Perhaps going to get Iwaizumi hadn't been such a good idea, after all.

"Kindaichi, I'm coming back in a minute." Iwaizumi said before turning towards Kageyama, "If you want to see us practice, it won't give you any advantage for the Spring High. I'm sure you'd like to see up-close what Oikawa has–"

"I've seen everything I needed to see." Kageyama cut, looking straight at the Ace as his lips trembled into a tight, excited smile, "He… really is incredible. But I won't lose."

He bowed down to his senpai, glanced at Kindaichi who was still glaring at him, nodded awkwardly to Kiku, then he started walking towards the exit of Aoba Jousai high-school.

"…What did he want, this guy?" Kindaichi asked, trying to smother his bitter tone.

"Just to have a look. He had what he wanted. Let's go back to the practice matches." Iwaizumi said, returning into the gymnasium, patting Kindaichi's shoulder on his way.

Kiku glanced at Kindaichi who was staring at the silhouette of Kageyama.

"If you want to go talk to him, you can go. I'll tell the others you went to the restrooms." She proposed with an encouraging smile.

Kindaichi finally detached his gaze from his former setter, looking down at his feet. He seemed to relax a little, but only because determination appeared on his face – not because he had forgotten his annoyance. If anything, he looked a little sad. And Kiku's heart squeezed painfully to see so many friendship and relationships broken because of unsaid words and bad blood from Middle-school. Even if Kindaichi would never admit it, Kageyama had been his teammate and friend, until he became the King of the Court. He was probably more hurt than he cared to admit about how their friendship had ended – full of bitterness and harsh feelings, all revolving around the setter becoming the "King of the Court".

"…Thank you, senpai but… there's no need. Next time, we won't lose." Kindaichi said with a stubborn determination.

Kiku sighed lightly, relieved to see him confident enough to walk without hesitation. She glanced over at where Kageyama had gone, but he had disappeared. She hoped that someday, the first-years will get over their bad blood. And that Oikawa will realize he doesn't have to fear Kageyama.

She returned into the gymnasium, making sure everyone had towels and drinks for the rest of the evening.

Once all the practice matches were done and everything was put back, after Iwaizumi, Oikawa and the coaches discussed again about today's results and mostly, what to do with Kyouken-chan, the Captain and Vice-Captain closed everything and joined Kiku who was waiting for them.

"So," she spoke up when they arrived, doing some of the way together, "Did you tell him yet?"

Oikawa glanced between the two before gasping loudly, hands on his mouth.

"Are you… are you pregnant…?!" He exclaimed.

Kiku and Hajime stared at him for a long time, desperate that he'd reach _this_ conclusion. Hajime looked particularly annoyed.

"No, we're not, you idiot!" He exclaimed, glaring, "We're still… we haven't… _y'know…"_

"Oh, I know, I was just teasing you~!" Oikawa answered with a satisfied smile.

"You _little…!"_

"Anyway! What did you need to tell me?" Oikawa cut, still smiling.

Hajime was still glaring at him, so Kiku took it upon herself to say the words:

"Kageyama-chan came today."

The smile on Oikawa's face disappeared at once. His enthusiasm died and a serious, almost dangerous expression appeared on his face.

"What did he want?" He asked in a hard voice.

"He just did some recon, nothing special. He did say he found you incredible, though." Iwaizumi answered, arms crossed over his chest.

Oikawa seemed thoughtful for a moment, pondering this. If Tobio-chan had come all the way here to observe the team, and mostly him, it meant he _feared_ him. He feared losing against him once again.

 _Good_. He thought, even though he knew it'd be harder to rile up Tobio-chan if they were facing once again.

"He seemed more confident than before, though. I don't know what training he went through, but it seemed pretty effective. I'd say he's even excited at the idea of playing against us once again. He wants his revenge." Iwaizumi added, closely observing his friend's expression.

"Of course, he does. But he won't have it. I won't _let_ him have it. Our team is stronger than Karasuno and whether we face them or not doesn't matter, we'll win against everyone in our way then it'll be our revenge against Ushiwaka and we'll go to Nationals." Oikawa said in a confident voice.

"…Glad to see we're thinking the same way," Iwaizumi answered.

The two friends shared a gaze then smirked knowingly, bumping their fists against one another.

Kiku smiled, glad to see that despite her initial doubts, Kageyama's visit had only motivated everyone.

"I'm going ahead, go home safely, boys~!" She exclaimed, climbing over her bicycle.

"Eh? You're sure? I should walk you back just to be sure," Iwaizumi said, unsure of letting her go on her own.

"I'll be fine!" She exclaimed with a smile, starting to ride off, "See you tomorrow!"

Oikawa waved at her happily as he and Iwaizumi turned around to go their own places, as soon as Kiku had disappeared from view.

"…We haven't walked home together in a while…" Oikawa remarked.

"Um… I… hope you don't mind…" Iwaizumi continued awkwardly.

Oikawa glanced at him, surprised before he shrugged, a somehow sad smile appearing on his face.

"I'm glad you two are happy together. It's not like I miss you considering we still spend a lot of time together. But you probably miss _me~!"_ He continued, trying to light up the mood.

"Urgh." He grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Silence fell on them and finally, Iwaizumi turned towards his friend who wasn't smiling.

"Will you tell me what's wrong? You keep avoiding the topic but ever since the Tanabata festival you've been off." He said, decided not to let his friend evade it this time.

Iwaizumi had considered several options but none felt right. Stress about finals? Oikawa always did good, so it couldn't be that. Nerves because they had to decide what they'll do next year soon? No way, he's known what he wanted to do since forever. The Spring-High and their last chance of Nationals coming up? Impossible, the closer a competition, the more focused Oikawa was on said-competition. So _what the heck_ was messing with his mind?

Going to a stop, Oikawa was forced to stop as well, pondering how he might escape the question… but also knowing that this time, there was no escaping Iwaizumi's perceptiveness. Especially with Kageyama's visit today that had messed with him. Iwaizumi had probably spent an awful lot of time worrying about whether or not he should tell him, worrying about how he'd react.

Sighing, Tooru realized, not for the first time, that he had the best friend he could possibly wish for. And right now, he needed to talk and Iwa-chan was the only one he could turn to…

"I… think I might have a crush on someone…" Tooru admitted, a little embarrassed.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow, unimpressed by it – it wasn't the first time Oikawa had a crush on someone. It was the first time it threw him off, though.

"But not a _'oh she's pretty I'd like to ask her out'_ kind of crush, but a… _'I want to know more about her'_ … kind of crush… and… I'm not sure what to do about it…" Oikawa admitted, flushing a little and unable to meet his friend's eyes.

Iwaizumi stared at him, about to tell him that it was normal to feel this way about his crush. He had felt the same about Kiku before they started falling in love. Then the weight of Oikawa's words hit him and his lips fell open in shock. It wasn't the first time Oikawa mentioned having a crush on someone… but it was the first time it was more than just a crush, that might lead to more feelings. It was the first time Oikawa had a _real_ crush on someone.

"Y-you… _you_ have a crush on someone…?" He repeated, blinking in disbelief, "Who might have gotten your attention? Is it someone you met at the festival? Someone– why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I didn't know what to do about it! I _still_ don't know what to do! I'm asking _you_ because… because you're the only person who has a stable, healthy relationship made of actual love! At least, the only person geographically and emotionally close enough for me to ask to…" Oikawa exclaimed, his last sentence ending in a mumble.

"You're asking _me_ love advices?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, eyes wide, "Oh, you're fucked–"

He stopped when Oikawa turned to him sharply, wide, distressed eyes staring at him in hurt disbelief.

"I-I mean… Kiku and I… we have a bit of a particular relationship with… everything that happened… I'm not sure I'm a good reference and… let's face it, I'm not… the type to know stuff about _love_. _You're_ the one who… gave me advices. Sometimes, not-so-good ones but…"

His voice trailed off, trying to find something to say then shrugging awkwardly:

"I suppose you should just go talk to her? If it's a _'I want to know her'_ kind of crush, then _get_ to know her."

" _That's_ … the problem… I… can't." Oikawa admitted, closing his eyes tightly.

"What do you mean, you _can't?"_ Iwaizumi asked, shaking his head, "You're the most popular guy at school, every girl would beg to get to know you better – I still don't get _why_ but well… _girls, y'know,_ eternal mystery. Why aren't you taking your chance?"

"She's… not at Aoba Jousai…" Oikawa added.

"Oh. But aren't you popular with girls from other schools anyway? And when would it have stopped you? Just go talk to her." Iwaizumi continued with a shrug, not understanding why it seemed to be such a big deal.

"She's at Shiratorizawa."

Silence.

Iwaizumi stared at his friend for a long time. He would believe it a joke, if Oikawa's face didn't show how confused and… at a loss he was.

"…She's _where_ now?" He asked, just to be certain he had heard well.

"She… is a student at Shiratorizawa Academy. Or so I assume, but considering she wore this hellish school's uniform several times and she–"

"Wait, wait, wait! You knew her _before_ the festival?!" Iwaizumi exclaimed with wide eyes.

He couldn't imagine Oikawa going within a ten meters radius of a Shiratorizawa student, willingly or not.

Tooru opened and closed his lips before turning towards his best friend:

"I… didn't mention that… didn't I?" He realized, feeling awkward and unsure – it was too unusual for him to feel this way, it was as if he was in a stranger's body.

"Why don't you start from the beginning so that I can keep up?" Iwaizumi asked in a hard voice, firmly staring at him.

Oikawa hesitated but sighed, nodding. They went into the little park in front of the building in which they lived, where they used to play as children. They sat on some bench illuminated by a sad lamp post while Oikawa told his story. How he had met this girl, in his last year of middle-school. While he was crying behind the gymnasium, she came and comforted him about his loss. Then, how they met again the following year and she comforted him again. And how he recognized the Shiratorizawa uniform just before another match. And how they had met before their third-year and she had given him a little charm… and how they had met at the Tanabata festival and she had promised to meet him again, this time with no need for comfort.

"…Why would she comfort and support me if she's at Shiratorizawa? It doesn't make any sense, and considering she's been there since middle-school she must have spent all of her scholarship there. Which makes even _less_ sense. What do you think, Iwa-chan?"

Oikawa turned towards Iwaizumi but froze when he saw his expression. Eyes wide, shock-frozen, Iwa-chan wasn't reacting. Until, he frowned, turning towards him:

"You've had a crush on a girl from Shiratorizawa for the past _four_ years and never told me anything about it?! Why?!" He hissed.

" _Three_ years!" He corrected, flushing despite himself, "A-and b-because! I-I wasn't sure what to _think_ about it! She was… she was just there when she was here, and then, she was gone, and there was no need for me to think about it any more b-but…! But ever since… ever since you've been so happy with Kiku, I… I've been slowly growing jealous…" He admitted, lowering his head in shame.

Iwaizumi calmed down, staring at him as Oikawa continued:

"I'm not angry that you and Kiku-chan are happy together but you're so happy that… that I realize that no one ever looked at me the way Kiku looks at you, and I never looked at anyone the way you look at Kiku. And I… I kinda want that too… I know it's probably selfish but I–"

"It's not selfish."

Oikawa turned towards Iwaizumi as he continued, gaze lost in thought:

"It's not selfish to want to be loved for who you really are. If anything… it proves you're human, after all."

Iwaizumi turned towards him with an encouraging smile:

"But don't you think that the reason _why_ you've developed a crush on this girl is _because_ you're feeling lonely?"

"But why _her?_ Why not any girl at Aoba Jousai? Why her out of every possible person? I barely met her, just a few times, but when I think of a beautiful person, she's _here_ , when I think of a future with someone, I see _her_ … I-it's… it's crazy…"

"…Love is kinda crazy, so…"

"It's not love! I just– have an unexplainable crush on her, that's all…" Oikawa mumbled, flushing a little.

He looked away just as Iwaizumi put his hand on his back, patting lightly.

"Well, if you want to meet her again and by doing so, going to Shiratorizawa… even if it means going in enemy territory, I'm supporting you. And if you think she's the right one for you, then… go for it." He encouraged, feeling strangely happy for his friend.

"I… I don't think I…"

"Don't you want to see her again?"

"W-well, yes, but… I don't know… Sometimes I want to go to Shiratorizawa and go through every classroom and try to find her but sometimes… I just can't. Out of pride, probably. But also… because what's the point?"

He paused, shrugging before looking up at the stars, dim because of the city lights. He wished he could see them as brightly as when he had met this girl at the Tanabata Festival. The stars had been beautiful. _She_ had been the brightest of all…

"She's just a girl I met a couple of times, we're fatal enemies – she's at Shiratorizawa after all…"

"Aren't you exaggerating a little?" Iwaizumi asked, rolling his eyes but as usual, Oikawa didn't listen to him.

"We won't have any other occasion to meet than during the Spring High and then… next year, I'll go to Tokyo. The chances of _ever_ meeting her again are…"

"…So you're giving up on _possibly_ falling in love with her?" Iwaizumi concluded, frowning a little.

"…She's just a girl I met a couple of times and developed a… _weird_ crush on."

"I'll admit that it's the weirdest shit you've pulled off so far…" He remarked, shaking his head.

" _O-oi!"_

"…But it's also very human and… fragile of you so…" Iwaizumi added with a shrug.

Tooru remained silent on a short moment before straightening up, looking suddenly determined.

"But I'm not giving up on falling in love. Not with her because it seems… impossible. But… I… don't want of another meaningless relationship. I want to fall in love, _real_ love… to know what it feels like, ultimate happiness…" He said in a hushed voice.

Hajime stared at him then smiled, patting his shoulder.

"I'm a hundred percent behind you, Oikawa," he said.

Tooru turned to him with a grateful look on his face, until Iwaizumi added with a mocking smirk:

"Even though I feel sorry for the poor girl you'll fall in love with!"

" _O-OI!"_

But Iwaizumi laughed. Somehow, feeling lighter now that he had shared everything with his best friend, Oikawa couldn't help but smile and chuckle. It was a little sad that whatever he felt for this Shiratorizawa girl would be smothered before it could spark up into more. But meeting her again, realizing his weird crush, seeing the relationship of Kiku-chan and Iwa-chan develop… it opened his eyes. He just wanted to fall in love, it couldn't be that hard, right?

Iwaizumi's attention was suddenly brought back to his phone, vibrating into his pocket. Pulling it out, he read Kiku's message… before freezing.

 **You haven't forgotten about the dance party you promised to go with m** **e** **? I'm so impatient! Goodnight,** **muffin,** **I'll see you tomorrow~!**

He vaguely remembered something from the summer holiday, memory he had totally forgotten until now.

 _Kiku sat on the side of his bed, looking down at him with a smile:_

" _Hajime, I really want to go to some place soon, but Yuuna can't come with me and I don't have anyone to go with. Would you mind accompanying me?"_

" _Sure. What is it?"_

" _A dance party~! Aaah~! I can't wait, thank you, muffin~!" She exclaimed, kissing him quickly and standing up happily._

"… _Wait– what? A what? I don't… what…" He mumbled, realizing she had tricked him into promising to go with her._

"Oh, fuck…" He mumbled.

Oikawa gave him a strange look.

"I had forgotten about this dance party Kiku wants us to go to…"

"Well, that's a nice date~!"

"…I don't know how to dance… I had wanted to ask your help during the summer holiday, but I… totally forgot… there's no way I'll find time to learn – we have a practice match this week-end!" He exclaimed, hiding his face in his hands.

"I'm pretty sure Kiku-chan is _aware_ of your incapacity at dancing. Why don't you tell her again you don't know how to dance? I'm sure she'll _love_ teaching you." Oikawa continued calmly.

"B-but, I wanted to give her a surprise… and I _forgot!_ I'm such an _idiot!_ Do you think you could teach me?!" He asked, whipping towards Oikawa.

"Wow, you must be truly desperate to ask _me_ so earnestly…" Oikawa mumbled, a little amazed, "You… really want to make her happy with this surprise, right?"

Hajime blushed but nodded. His friend seemed thoughtful, putting his fingers against his chin as he thought about it deeply…

"Well… I'm a pretty good dancer but I never learned, I just roll with the music. I'm not sure I could teach you well enough… and I don't know anyone else at school who is a dancer good enough to teach _you_ in such little time…"

"Why do you sound so condescending…?" Iwaizumi mumbled, pretty sure he wasn't _such_ a desperate cause at dancing to deserve such a tone.

Oikawa's eyes suddenly lit up. His lips fell open, as an idea struck him and he turned towards Iwaizumi, a mix of excitement and amusement shining in his eyes:

"But I _do_ know someone who is a good dancer and _might_ be capable of teaching you in time. And she just happens to be visiting Miyagi this week-end~!"

"…Who?" Iwaizumi asked suspiciously.

Oikawa's eyes shone as he opened his lips to give the name of Iwaizumi's future and improvised teacher.

 _A few days later, at Aoba Jousai's volleyball gymnasium…_

"Remind me why we came on a Saturday for a practice match all together? I mean, couldn't we wait another free day to practice all together?" Makki asked, yawning to be up and sweating so early on a Saturday.

"Because we have to practice to coordinate with Kyouken-chan~!" Oikawa answered happily, "Where is he, by the way? Yahaba, did he answer to you yet?"

"No, Oikawa-san… I'm sorry he's such a–"

"It's fine, it's fine~!"

"Here are the drinks!" Kindaichi exclaimed as he brought them all with Kunimi.

"Thanks, Kindaichi, Kunimi~!"

Exceptionally, even if it was an unofficial practice, Kiku wasn't here. Tsubasa – coach's wife and their ally in this little plan to teach Iwaizumi how to dance in time – had requested her help at the clinic and so, their manager couldn't help them out. Mizoguchi and Irihata weren't here as well, trusting the boys to practice well enough – both had been taken up by duties and couldn't come, but it was only better for the team. Not only they were free to practice as they wished, for as long as needed, but Oikawa's plan could then be applied perfectly. Of course, the main goal of the day for the team was to practice their teamwork with Kyouken-chan. Time was too short to count on normal practice before the Spring-High to be a hundred percent ready, so they needed these supplementary practice. But, for Iwa-chan… the goal was to learn how to dance.

After Kyoutani had arrived, late, but still here, and getting scolded by Iwaizumi and glared at by Yahaba, the ones who weren't warmed up yet started to do so.

"I still can't believe you're going to get dressed and go to a dance party just for Kiku…" Makki said, snickering at the thought of Iwaizumi in a ball room.

He glared at him for mocking him but then Matsukawa glanced at Oikawa:

"Are you sure his _teacher_ will come?" He asked.

Oikawa opened his lips just as the gymnasium's doors opened, attracting everyone's attention on the new arrivals. A smiling young girl they had all at least _heard_ of, Kanemoto Ayaka, and just behind her was…

"Hey, hey, HEY!" Bokuto Koutarou exclaimed, excited to meet talented players from another prefecture.

* * *

 _Tobio-chan and Bokuto in one chapter, aren't you happy? :D_

 _I'm quite satisfied with the way I wrote hte interaction between Kageyama and Iwaizumi+Kindaichi and the later reaction of Oikawa - but if it felt wrong in any way for you, don't hesitate to tell me, I'm open to critiques. As for the ones who don't know my othe fanfic, Sowlmates, Kanemoto Ayaka is the main OC and love interest of Bokuto - she appeared a few times already in this fanfic! :)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	53. Forever

_Sorry i couldn't update earlier but I was sick all week and couldn't write more than two words without my brain frying! Anyway, here is the new chapter! :)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favrtied and reviewed! :D_

 ** _WARNING : [NSFW content]_**

 _ **xxXsilverXxx** : I'm so happy you liked the chapters! I'm very impatient for Oikawa's story too, especially considering it'll be the "concluding" story for everyone and it'll have moer than just a love story - also how he deals with hi new teammates and among them Ushiwaka, etc. Kijime's story advances in this chapter~! I hope the interaction with Bokuto were good! Leave me a review when you're done catching up with Sowlmates! ;)_

 _ **Aquafin** : It was so exciting writing about Bokuto - I hope it was well handled. Honestly, I finished writing the Spring High this morning and I cried so damn much... like, someone end my suffering for these volleyboys, please. I hope you'll liket his chapter and what will happen next! ;)_

 _ **xRyuu-himexx** : It's alwasy exciting to have my other ocs and characters from other fanfics popping up here and there, it's fun and it gives more opportunities! :D I hope the reaction from Seijou and Bokuto will be okay! !:)_

 _ **chibi-no-baka** : Oikawa is so, so interesting to write, he's absolutely amazing. I hope that the AOba Jousai + Bokuto encounter was up to your expectations! ;)_

 _ **Cooliceprincess** : I'm happy to see people excited for Bokuto and Aoba Jousai. Now I'm scared it'll be disappointing... " _

_**Guest1** : I won't update the Kamigami fics nytime soon... only Sowlmates. Sorry for theothers... "_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER LIII : Forever

" _Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we're gone."_

— **Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love You**

" _But all I could see was her. No skill of mine, no artist anywhere, could've immortalized how gorgeous she was. It was impossible to believe she'd ever had any doubts about her body. The firelight shone on her skin, golden and perfect, making her look like some radiant goddess of legend. I wanted to kneel before her and offer eternal obedience."_

― **Richelle Mead, The Fiery Heart**

" _Sometimes it was hard to express how much you loved someone. You said the words, but you could never quite capture the depth of it. You could never quite hold someone tightly enough."_

— **Diane Chamberlain, The Midwife's Confession**

" _Making love is not something you do to someone―it's something you share. Lovemaking between men and women should be mutually pleasurably. Both women and men should be fully and completely satisfied."_

― **J.F. Kelly, A Woman's Pleasure**

" _Making love was never about you and me in a bed. We made love whenever we held hands."_

— **Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You**

" _The conversation between your fingers and someone else's skin. This is the most important discussion you can ever have."_

— **Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You**

" _And there I was, laying on your chest listening to your heart beating when just a year ago I didn't want one of my own. You saved me in more ways than one."_

— **Unknown**

" _Only one thing can make a soul complete and that is love."_

— **Bernhard Schlink, The Reader**

" _Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give."_

— **Bertrand Russell**

" _The feeling of your hand encaging my fingers, it's inexplicable. Hold me a little longer, a little tighter. Hold me and don't let go. I like to be entwined with you."_

— **Unknown**

" _And I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us any more."_

— **Franz Kafka, The Castle**

" _A successful relationship requires falling in love multiples times, but always with the same person."_

— **Mignon McLaughlin**

" _There is a world of difference between falling in love and being in love."_

— **Gayle Forman, Just One Day**

" _The difference between like, love and in love, is the same as the difference between for now, for a while and forever."_

— **Anonymous**

"Are you sure his _teacher_ will be able to come?" Matsukawa asked.

Oikawa opened his lips just as the gymnasium's doors opened, attracting everyone's attention on the new arrivals. A smiling young girl they had all at least _heard_ of, Kanemoto Ayaka, and just behind her was…

"Hey, hey, HEY!" Bokuto Koutarou exclaimed, excited to meet talented players from another prefecture.

Everyone stared back, a little surprised by the rather loud arrival and mostly, because Bokuto Koutarou was a top five spiker like Ushijima Wakatoshi who also happened to be dating the heiress of the Kanemoto Group, an international sports business conglomerate. The Kanemoto would be the ones to sponsor Oikawa and Iwaizumi for their professional careers.

"Ayaka-chan~!" Oikawa exclaimed, approaching the two.

She opened her lips to greet him but her boyfriend was faster:

"You must be Oikawa! Ayaka told me lots about you! I saw some of your matches, your set-ups are impressive! Not as much as _my_ setter, though – but he's a setter from a powerhouse of Tokyo, after all! Ahah! Still, I can't wait to play with you and I–"

"Koutarou." Ayaka said calmly.

She stepped in front of him and despite the height difference, she totally took control of the situation. Unlike the few times they had met her, she wasn't wearing any fancy outfit because she wasn't here as the Kanemoto heiress, but as a friend and nothing was expected of her.

"I had never realized how short you really are, Ayaka-chan~!" Oikawa remarked, holding back the urge to bend down to the child-like appearance of the richest girl he knew, "You always wear high-heels and make-up, so it makes you look older than you really are!"

Ayaka startled to be told she was short just as Bokuto puffed out his chest, hands on his hips proudly. She gave him a long look while Oikawa blinked curiously to see the two behave – everyone else was just staring with astonished eyes:

"Why do _you_ look so proud?" She asked her boyfriend in a hard voice.

It was Bokuto's turn to startle as he looked down at Ayaka:

"B-but! You're so adorably short! I love your shortness! It makes me feel big and powerful!" He exclaimed, sounding sheepish.

"Even next to a _normal_ -sized person you look big and powerful!"

"I _know_ I do, but next to you it's even more–"

Oikawa coughed, which reminded the couple that they were in public. They both turned back to him just as he glanced at Iwaizumi, giving him a sign to get closer. He approached, almost reluctantly – he was meeting a top Ace, and his future sponsor AKA his temporary dance teacher. He had talked a little over the phone with Bokuto-san, but the last time he had seen Kanemoto-san if was after their defeat at the Inter-High, they had talked about their future plans… He remembered this conversation so well.

" _I think that Oikawa and I both have ways to evolve more, if we evolve differently and away from each other. If we get stronger_ _ **on our own**_ _, when we'll fight together once again, we'll be even stronger than we are now. Y'know… he and I… we've been together our whole lives… Whether it was playground, volleyball, school… we grew up together, we're like brothers…_ _But we need to discover ourselves without the other. We need to build our own individual strengths without relying on the other. It'll be good for me, but also for Oikawa."_

She had understood him, his choice, and even if he and Oikawa usually avoided talking about how they'll go their own way next year, it was acknowledged by the two. But now, seeing Kanemoto again, even if it was in a totally different situation than the last time, reminded him of what was certain to happen.

"I had seen your matches but you're more muscular up-close!" Bokuto exclaimed enthusiastically, "But you're also shorter – how tall are you?" He asked with wide, owlish eyes, looking down at him.

Everyone snickered in his back, which was enough to piss off Iwaizumi.

"I'm 179,3 centimeters." He said in a hard voice.

If his annoyance was obvious for everyone, it totally went over Bokuto's head who laughed, patting his shoulder enthusiastically. Iwaizumi glanced down at his hand then back at his face.

"Don't worry, you'll grow up more! That's an impressive shoulder, though…" He continued thoughtfully, pawing at Iwaizumi's arm, "It's rare to meet people muscular like that! No wonder your swing is so vicious! Hey! Do you want to go up against me? A good old arm wrestling! Y'know, I beat everyone at my school and I'm the ultimate champion of the Fukurodani Group!"

"Ah _yeah?_ Well _I_ beat everyone at my school," Iwaizumi answered, riled up and ready to fight for the defense of his title.

Challenge lit up in both of their gazes, vicious smirks appearing on their faces. Ayaka quickly came in between them, holding up her hands:

"As entertaining as it would be, keep the arm wrestling for later. We have a _lot_ of work to do! Kou, why don't you go play with the other children while I teach some steps and moves to this big boy~?"

"Ah yeah! Oikawa! Throw me some tosses!" Bokuto exclaimed, his attention immediately switching back to volleyball.

"Ah, uh, okay?" He hesitated, overwhelmed by his nature.

"Don't forget to warm up before! And get changed! You can't practice with these shoes and pants!" Ayaka scolded, while she was pushing Iwaizumi at the other side of the gymnasium.

"I took my volleyball shoes and training gear!" He replied, running back towards her to get her bag.

"Is this why it was so heavy?!" She hissed, not having realized _his_ stuff were in _her_ bag.

"Don't tell me you didn't know?"

He casually took his stuff from her bag while the rest of Aoba Jousai stared at them.

"…Are they always like that?" Hanamaki asked Oikawa in a low voice.

"…I don't know. I never saw them together." He answered with a light shake of his head.

"Urgh, the more I see it around me, the more dating seems exhausting…" He mumbled, turning around to keep warming-up.

"I think Iwaizumi is about to collapse of embarrassment," Matsukawa remarked, holding back a laugh.

They glanced at their Ace, standing awkwardly while Ayaka was giving him a long talk and explanations. He kept glancing helplessly at them, flushing and annoyed to be treated like a child, even though he was worse than a child when it came to dancing. They held back their laughs but their attention was brought back on Bokuto who changed in front of them, as if it was normal. They vaguely heard Ayaka scolding him for that but they observed closely.

"So, that's what a top Ace looks like…" Matsukawa murmured.

They all turned back towards their Ace who, despite being a few centimeters shorter had the general same musculature. Biceps, shoulders, thighs, abs – Iwaizumi was about as muscular as Bokuto, the latter perhaps a little taller and more… imposing.

"…If only he was a few centimeters taller, he could probably go up against Ushiwaka." Hanamaki complained.

"I'm taller, I can't go against Ushiwaka," Matsukawa replied.

"You're not our Ace, though. Iwaizumi is."

"Mmm, true."

"O-oi! If Iwa-chan were taller, he might be taller than _me_ and I don't want that!" Oikawa whined when realization hit him.

"Ah right, and who would we make fun of then?" Matsukawa sighed with a mocking smirk.

"Kyoutani?" Makki proposed with a similar grin.

The glare from the second-year who had overheard was so violent they startled and had to hold back the reflex to step away. But they held their grounds, looking back at the kouhai in amusement while Yahaba was trying to find a way to get things to go back to a smoother atmosphere.

"I'm ready! Oikawa! Send me a toss!" Bokuto shouted after a quick warm-up, running to the setter who startled.

"Ah– uh, yeah!"

While Aoba Jousai practiced, to get Kyoutani to learn all of their tactics, set-ups and for him to be (reluctantly) more involved with his teammates, Iwaizumi learned a few dancing steps from Ayaka. She was patient and didn't seem to mind much when he stepped on her feet and by the end of the day, everyone was satisfied and exhausted. Learning to dance was more tiring than Iwaizumi would have expected but at least now, he'll be able to give a good surprise to his Kiku. As for the volleyball team…

"One more!" Bokuto exclaimed.

"Eh… eeh…?" Oikawa hesitated, staring with wide eyes at the wing-spiker who seemed to run on endless energy.

The group of blockers looked at him with wide, panicked eyes, barely managing to keep standing on their feet after an entire day of practice with a spiker whose spike was about as powerful as Ushiwaka's – he wasn't even going all out and at the beginning, he had been mostly trying to get adjusted to Oikawa or Yahaba's tosses, depending on which team he was on.

"What is he made of…?!" Matsukawa muttered, hands on his knees as he glared at the spiker.

"Don't worry! You _almost_ stopped me a few minutes ago!" Bokuto told him from the other side of the net, laughing joyfully at that.

" _GEH!_ Oikawa! Send him another toss! This time I'll stop him!"

"Good luck with that!"

"Don't get so cocky." Iwaizumi said when he got closer.

He stretched his arms and legs a little more; everyone suddenly felt reinvigorated.

"Iwaizumi-san!" Kindaichi exclaimed, "You're going to come and play?!"

"Yeah, I feel the need to get a few spikes in now," he answered with a challenging smirk, "Yahaba, you're good to go?"

"Y-yes!"

"Kindaichi and Kunimi, come here and try to stop him with me – his power is similar to Ushiwaka's and we're the ones who end up facing him most."

"Yes!"

"OI! I was here before! I can't back down from a challenge after such a humiliating defeat!" Matsukawa grumbled.

"I'll sit this one out, then," Kunimi mumbled, going to sit and rest.

Oikawa observed his friends bickering at the other side of the net, Iwaizumi teasing Matsukawa for not being able to stop Bokuto. He glanced back at the Captain of Fukurodani and was surprised to see him smirking – not because of the challenge, but because he seemed… _satisfied_. Oikawa's eyes traveled to Ayaka and noticed her smirking, just as glad. Was it planned? That Bokuto would play with them to make them work against opponents as strong as Ushiwaka was? Iwaizumi was definitely strong – the strongest on the team – but he wasn't as powerful as Ushijima or Bokuto. Not yet. It was one thing to practice with Iwaizumi's spikes, but when confronted against Ushiwaka, their blocks always seemed useless.

 _It's not the right toss, it's not the same power. We'd need to practice with more powerful opponents to get stronger._ Oikawa thought to himself, while Bokuto took a ball from the cart _. But Iwa-chan is our most powerful player on the team, how can I make his spikes better? What is it that I missed? What could I do to give him better, stronger spikes? What toss would Iwa-chan want after going up against Bokuto?_

Bokuto sent him the ball and he lifted up his hands, ready to toss it up as it had been slowly been building up all day to get the best toss for this specimen of nature. Bokuto jumped high – higher than Iwa-chan – and swung his arm, spiking the ball against the wall made of Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Kindaichi. It was a high wall, but not enough to stop a top Ace. His spike went against their arms and was impossible to receive.

As they landed back on the ground, Iwaizumi glanced over his shoulder, at where the ball had rolled off. Their block had been too low to stop his spike, but they should have been able to touch it to ease the receive but his mere power had been enough to destroy their block.

 _What had been different? What had been different? What–_

"Is this the highest you can reach?" Bokuto asked from the other side of the net, after calming down from his loud cheering.

"Eh?" Iwaizumi asked, turning back towards him.

"You guys jumped too fast, you were already going down when I spiked – also, you didn't jump really high. What's the highest you can reach?" He continued, string straight at Iwaizumi.

"Ah, uh, the last time we calculated it was 327cm, with a spiking run." He answered.

"Mmm! I can jump– Ayaka, what was it?" He continued, turning towards his girlfriend.

"339cm, which is quite high for your height." She answered from afar, sitting with the few who had decided to rest.

"You've got a powerful swing but you lack jumping power, I have a few exercises you could try!" Bokuto continued good-heartedly, "And your whole team could use some jumping power, by the way."

Everyone stared at him, their hearts and spirits lifted by everything he explained as he went under the net and started talking, giving the exercises and advices to each and every player he got to see in Aoba Jousai. Now that everyone was relaxing, they all asked questions to the Grand Ace of Fukurodani who happily answered them all, bathing in his glory.

Oikawa walked over to Ayaka who was smiling proudly to see the man of her life being so good to other teams' players. She wasn't surprised – he had always helped out others, whether it was on his own team or on others.

"I had thought you were exaggerating when you talked about him, but he's quite the Ace." Oikawa admitted as he reached her.

"I know he is. You haven't seen him play seriously yet, and your toss was sloppy. Even if you gave him the best toss and pulled out most of his capacities. There's a different dynamic between Koutarou and Akaashi-kun when he tosses to him. I couldn't explain to you, it's too specific but I could tell there was something off in the way you were practicing with my Koutarou." She explained.

Oikawa stared at her with wide eyes – he had thought she had been taking care of Iwaizumi all day long, but she had been gathering information about Seijou as well. And mostly _him_ considering he was sponsored. He had been certain to give the best toss to Bokuto but now that he thought of it, it might have been…

"Is it because of Iwaizumi-kun?" Ayaka asked, her gaze unwavering.

Oikawa startled as she smiled lightly, explaining:

"Because starting next year, your chosen Ace won't be here anymore to back you up. You'll have to deal with Ushijima-kun, Koutarou, and other different spikers."

"…If I have to choose, I'll toss to your boyfriend over this damn Ushiwaka a thousand times over, but after all I…"

His voice trailed off and he glanced over at Iwaizumi who was talking with Bokuto, probably about training regiment.

"I want to keep playing with Iwa-chan…" He admitted, his heart squeezing a little to know that in a few months from now, he won't be playing with his childhood friend anymore.

"…I can't know what they're thinking, but I think Iwaizumi-kun wants to keep playing with you as well… and Koutarou will want to keep playing with Akaashi-kun… it's… obvious you'll all have to change your habits and will be confronted to new challenges because of such major changes in your teammates." Ayaka said, sounding a little sad herself.

Oikawa glanced at her, realizing that if in a few months he wouldn't be playing with his best friend, _she_ wouldn't get to spend much time with her boyfriend any more. Unlike the rest of her team, it wasn't just a teammate she would miss, it was her best friend, the love of her life and her everything.

Reminded of the Shiratorizawa girl, and of the fulfilling relationship between Iwa-chan and Kiku-chan, Tooru was yet again feeling a little hollow. How strange it was, to be happy about his life but not _ultimately happy_ because he felt… lonely. Surrounded by friends, but no one to turn to when he felt lost, or hurt, or sad, or _anything_ …

"Thank you for coming today." He told Ayaka with a smile.

She nodded, glad to have spent a day having fun, and seeing up-close more of Aoba Jousai and mostly, Oikawa's abilities.

The following day, Hajime was growing nervous as he stared at himself in the mirror. He had practiced a little more on his own but he still wasn't certain he could pull off a good dance with Kiku. He really wanted her to be happy and to enjoy the dance-party but with his poor dancing skills… Staring at his reflection, he decided that he looked too unshaveled and he tucked his shirt into his pants and arranged his tie – but he looked just weird like that.

"Hajime–"

He looked up as his father entered his bedroom who froze with wide eyes, seeing him so dressed up.

"Where are you planning to go, dressed like that?" He asked curiously, leaning against the doorway.

Hajime blushed in embarrassment, looking away from his father:

"D-dance party! With Kiku! S-she wanted to go… so…"

"…I hope you learned how to dance. Or to just have fun." Takashi said with big eyes when he grabbed a flyer Kiku had given Hajime about the dance party.

His son glared at him for having so little faith in his capacities in dancing but he ignored him:

"You might want to take off the tie, though. It's too much." Takashi commented with a shrug.

Hajime hesitated before starting to pull it a little but not taking it off completely – if needed, he could still arrange himself before entering the dance party.

"Your mom and I are leaving soon. We should be back tomorrow evening." Takashi said calmly.

"Oh, I'll come tell you goodbye, then," Hajime said, turning around.

He was about to walk past his father but Takashi reached out to stop him, raising an eyebrow:

"You're safe, right?" He asked.

Hajime blushed terribly, mouth suddenly going dry. Takashi stared at him firmly, waiting for an answer:

"You're not going to try to cook something or anything? Your mother would lose it if you burnt the kitchen." He continued.

Hajime stared at him with wide eyes, still blushing but realizing that his father was talking about normal safety – and not… the other safety he had thought of. Then, Takashi's lips trembled and he started snickering, his son realizing that he had been tricked.

" _You!_ I thought you were– _wait_ , were you…?!"

"You are _so_ dirty-minded. We didn't raise you like this, Hajime." Takashi said, an amused smile on his lips.

"I wasn't–! _You!_ You did it on purpose!" He shouted.

Takashi laughed loudly while Hajime stomped out of his room to tell goodbye to his mom. She didn't seem surprised to see her son annoyed by whatever her husband had used to make fun of him this time. With his parents off, Hajime could only wait for the time to find Kiku at the dance-party location. It was in Sendai's gymnasium, turned into a ballroom for the evening. The entry ticket had to be paid then, everything inside would be free – from what he had understood, Kiku went every year to this party. Sometimes with Yuuna, sometimes with her cousin dragged there by force so she'd have someone to go with.

So now, he was waiting at their meeting spot, nervously checking his phone every few minutes to make sure a new message hadn't arrived even though he knew it didn't.

"Hajime!"

He looked up, glad to see Kiku arriving towards him, her smile bright. She wore a nice blue dress that showed her beautiful curves, his heart speeding up until she was at his side, going up on her tiptoes and kissing his cheek. His cheeks went aflame when he noticed that her hair was up and her ponytail was swinging around adorably.

"You're so beautiful," he said, looking her up and down.

She flushed, smiling in joy to receive such a compliment, admiring him as well. She reached up for his tie. He froze, thinking she was about to arrange his outfit but she took _off_ his tie she put into his jacket pocket. Then, she pulled his shirt out of his pants and started unbuttoning the top buttons.

"Uuuum, cupcake, as much as I love it when you take off my clothes we're… in the middle of the street and I'm pretty sure you wanted to attend the party."

 _Please, tell me you want to go home and make-out instead of dancing!_ He prayed to himself, a foolish smile on his face, knowing it was hopeless.

Kiku ignored him, looking him up and down then smiling up coyly:

"I'm just making sure you won't look too well-dressed. It's a dance party, not a ball, you know!"

Keeping a hold on his shirt, she pulled him closer until their bodies were pressed together, her lips kissing his. He closed his eyes with a delighted sigh, kissing her back tenderly.

"Now, you look perfect…" She whispered against his lips when they pulled away.

"A-ah, t-thanks…" He answered, looking away with a blush on his cheeks.

She slid her hand in his and they started advancing towards the entrance, mixing in with other young people. Hajime was glad he didn't recognize anyone. But most were couples, from the way they were holding hands. The closer they got, the more music they could hear, smothered by the walls. Once into the gymnasium, Hajime felt overwhelmed while Kiku looked around excitedly. Loud music, long tables with drinks and food, a crowd filling the gymnasium and dancing enthusiastically. Some even looked professional. There were even balloons and disco balls hanging from the high-ceiling.

 _What the heck am I doing here…?_ He thought to himself, holding tightly onto Kiku's hand.

"It's so great! The music is good!" Kiku exclaimed, loudly to be heard.

"U-uh, yeah."

"I love this song!"

"Y-yeah…"

"Let's go!" She exclaimed, hurrying to the dance floor.

But when Hajime didn't move, she was tugged back. She glanced at him, over her shoulder and he glanced around hesitantly.

"U-um, do you… want something to drink or eat?" He asked.

"Oh, y-yeah, thank you…" Kiku answered, glancing quickly at the dance-floor.

He stared at her, then tugged her closer so they'd be able to hear each other without screaming:

"If you want to go dancing, go ahead. I'll go get some food and I'll wait for you. Okay?" He proposed with a smile.

"But…"

She seemed hesitant before continuing, looking at him worriedly:

"I know you agreed to come here, but I know you don't like dancing. I don't want you to get bored. I'll stay with you and–"

"No, it's okay! I want you to have fun and enjoy this evening! I'll dance with you, promise. But later!" He said, kissing her cheek reassuringly.

He smiled, glad that Kiku had understood why he felt so uncomfortable. He squeezed her hand encouragingly and finally, she smiled. She kissed his cheek, then turned around and disappeared into the crowd of dancers.

He went to get some plates of food for both of them, but glanced around curiously, feeling like someone he just saw looked familiar.

 _Must be my imagination…_ He thought, shrugging it off and continuing his way.

Meanwhile, a loud whine resonated.

"You almost got us caught!" Yuuna exclaimed, glaring at Oikawa.

"Do you have to hit me for that?!" He hissed, pushing up his glasses.

"I can't believe you convinced me to come in here to _spy_ on them!"

"We're not _spying_ on them– we're just making sure Iwa-chan dances well and doesn't run off at some point! It's observing from afar without being caught."

" _That's_ the definition of spying." She concluded, staring at him, "I'm not _supposed_ to be here – if Kiku sees me, I don't know what to tell her! Why did you ask _me_ of all people?!"

"Because Makki and Mattsun were both busy and they didn't let me try to use Kindaichi! They said they wouldn't let him have so little pride he'd go as far as pretend to be my date – I don't get it, pretending to be my date is a _great_ honor!"

"I understand why they'd keep him safe, now that I have to pretend to be your date. Uurgh…" She answered, rolling her eyes.

"Don't look so disgusted!"

"If only you looked _less_ manly…!"

"I _am_ a man!"

"Though you act like a little girl."

"I am a _man!"_

While they kept bickering, unknowingly attracting the attention of a few people around, Hajime was picking some food at the tables. He was so busy looking down at everything proposed that he bumped into someone.

"Ah, sorry–"

He froze, staring with wide, annoyed eyes at the big owl in front of him. Bokuto Koutarou swallowed a mouthful of food before grinning excitedly:

"HEY! Iwaizumi! How is it going?!" He greeted loudly.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asked in a hard voice.

But Bokuto didn't seem to perceive the annoyance in his voice and continued:

"Ayaka and I came here! We thought we'd have a little fun before going back to Tokyo – also, we're watching over you from afar!"

"No need, thanks anyway." Iwaizumi mumbled, knowing that the _main_ reason of their reason here tonight was to make sure he wasn't running away or anything.

But he couldn't really tell them to go away, they had the right to come here to dance… they both seemed loud and energetic enough to enjoy it anyway.

"Look, I hope you enjoy the party, thanks for everything but Kiku _cannot_ see you or Ayaka-san here! She doesn't know _you_ , but she knows Ayaka-san, and she'll start thinking there might be something wrong if you two are here!" Iwaizumi continued, not wanting Kiku to find out about his embarrassing lesson the previous day.

"Oh, yeah! Don't worry! We're not planning on introducing ourselves to her, we're here to have fun and keep an eye on you but we won't bother your date! We're _super discreet_ , don't worry!" He exclaimed loudly.

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at the top Ace, knowing that ever since he had appeared, everyone around had been staring at the tall, muscular and loud man there.

"You're the least discreet person I know, and I know _Oikawa!"_ Iwaizumi exclaimed, glaring despite himself.

"I _can_ be discreet!" He exclaimed, looking offended, "I'm like a night owl – stealthy as fuck!"

" _Somehow_ , I have my doubts."

"And anyway, I can understand why people would have a hard time _not_ noticing me, after all! But Ayaka is tiny and discreet, a little shy around people she doesn't know, so you don't have to worry about Ayaka being noticed by your girlfriend!"

Ayaka _did_ seem more reliable than her boyfriend when it came to discretion. As long as the couple didn't stick together, Bokuto's _obviousness_ wouldn't include Ayaka, and Kiku might not realize they were even here. And with this amount of people in the dance party, it'd be hard to cross path with the couple from Tokyo.

Reassured, Iwaizumi smiled, about to answer when another voice rang:

"Hajime! Look who I just crossed path with!"

The two young men turned around, seeing Kiku approach… and pulling a sheepish-looking Ayaka. Iwaizumi wasn't even surprised, and Bokuto was too happy to see his girlfriend to realize the problem.

" _Super_ discreet, uh?" Iwaizumi said in a mocking voice, sending a hard look at the spiker who looked away, as if to escape the accusing gaze.

"Ah ah… H-hi…" Ayaka greeted Hajime with a little wave when she arrived.

Kiku stared at Bokuto, the guy looking vaguely familiar – plus, he and Ayaka kept staring at each other awkwardly.

"An acquaintance of you?" She asked Hajime, seeing the two too close to have just met.

"Ah, uh…"

"We're–"

"He's my boyfriend!" Ayaka exclaimed, putting her arm around Bokuto's, "And he's a top Ace of the country, like your man! You probably saw him in some National matches – Fukurodani is a top eight school, you know?"

"A-ah, now that you mention it, it's true… N-nice meeting you… I-I'm Akiyama Kiku." She introduced herself, getting closer to Hajime, suddenly feeling a little shy.

"I'm Bokuto Koutarou! Hi!" He said enthusiastically.

He was so loud that Kiku instinctively edged closer to Hajime, half-hiding behind him. Bokuto didn't seem to notice her reaction, or why she acted this way while Hajime took her hand reassuringly.

"B-Bokuto… isn't it the name of the spiker you've been messaging?" Kiku asked, frowning lightly.

She glanced between Hajime, and Bokuto, then at Ayaka, all three looking at each other without knowing what to answer.

"Y-yeah… it's him…" Hajime answered, staring (read: glaring) at Bokuto.

Bokuto looked away guiltily, then stared at Ayaka for help who looked just as clueless. Kiku turned to her to ask her question:

"I couldn't ask you earlier because of the music, but what are you doing here, in Sendai?"

"U-um, w-we are…! K-Koutarou, tell her what we're doing here, darling…" She said, trying to come up with an excuse.

"AH! A-ah, w-we're um–"

"W-we're visiting some friends!" Ayaka exclaimed.

"Right! Friends!" Koutarou echoed with a cheerful nod.

"A-and these friends are the ones who um, who told us about–"

"About this dance party! And so we thought… maybe we could… go… too…?"

His voice trailed off, the couple of owls staring at Kiku, hoping they sounded convincing (they didn't). Kiku just stared at them, not quite knowing what to think while Hajime held back the urge of face-palming. Or shouting at them. They were even worse than Oikawa. Thankfully, _he_ wasn't here tonight or–

Looking up, Hajime froze suddenly when he saw a familiar person getting a drink. _Oikawa_ was pouting, for some unknown reason. He wore his glasses, probably thinking it made him stand out less.

Sensing the sudden dark aura coming off her boyfriend, Kiku looked up and followed his gaze, gasping when she noticed Oikawa. Just then, the setter looked up and locked eyes with them, lips still around the cup as he froze at the glare Iwaizumi was sending his way.

Bokuto and Ayaka turned around and noticed Oikawa as well.

"Oh! It's Oikawa! Heeey! You're here too?" Bokuto exclaimed, waving at him, unaware of the tension around.

It was Ayaka's turn to sigh loudly, holding back the urge to slap him behind the head. Oikawa turned around on his heels, trying to discreetly escape without being seen all the while knowing he _had_ been seen by _everyone_. At least, he hoped he would escape Iwaizumi's wrath if he went in the opposite direction.

"This idiot…!" Iwaizumi hissed, tempted to go and scream at Oikawa.

"I-it's okay… he can come and enjoy the party too…" Kiku hesitated, trying to comfort him.

"He's not here for the party!"

"B-by the way… I met Makki and Mattsun, and their girlfriends, earlier…"

Hajime whipped towards Kiku while Ayaka discreetly tugged at her boyfriend's hand, the two loveowls disappearing back into the crowd to avoid any more awkwardness.

"They… said something about being here to make sure you wouldn't chicken out and disappoint your teacher… I then met Ayaka-chan but… what teacher? What… is going on?" Kiku continued, more and more confused about the amount of acquaintances they had crossed tonight.

Hajime tightened his fists, glaring at the crowd and hoping that wherever they were, his friends would sense it. They _had_ to come and ruin his date with Kiku – all he had wanted was try to surprise her when he'll invite her for a dance at some point in the evening, but they had ruined _everything_ by spying on him! Now Kiku was convinced there was something going on, that didn't involve her and he knew that she would get wrong ideas if he didn't explain…

"A-Ayaka-san…" He answered, looking away in a mix of annoyance and disappointment, "She… was visiting Miyagi and she… taught me how to dance…"

He looked down while Kiku's lips fell open in shock. But before she could say anything he continued:

"I-I just wanted to surprise you with good dance moves… I know you love dancing but I'm… _urgh_ , I'm _terrible_ at dancing… I just wanted you happy with a proper dance partner for tonight but…"

His voice trailed off but then, he heard Kiku's chuckle and looked up, stunned. She was grinning, amusement and joy shining in her eyes.

"You went as far as learning from a pro how to dance for _me?"_ She asked in disbelief.

"She's… a pro…?" He realized, eyes widening.

"Well, she's an almost-professional ice-skater. She dances a lot for that. You didn't know that?"

"N-no, I mean, yeah, but… um, Oikawa just said she was a good dancer – and she was. And a good teacher, I think. I hope! I mean, _yes_ , she was! But I'm… hopeless when it comes to dancing…" He sighed.

"Hajime, I know you… you're not good at dancing, but I just wanted to spend the evening with you – we don't even have to dance if you don't feel like it. I can dance on my own, but I don't want you to get bored on your own." She said, cupping his cheek with a bright smile.

"Y-you knew…" He realized, feeling stupid for not talking about it with her.

She opened her lips to say something but just shook her head and kissed his lips quickly, as thank you for learning how to dance for her. Suddenly, the music changed. The entire atmosphere changed – the lights were lowered, most people stopped dancing or changed to go as couples as a calmer song started. Hajime _knew_ this song.

He looked up and from above the crowd, at the other side of the gymnasium, he could see Ayaka, talking to the DJ, a big smile after obviously convincing him to put on this particular song on. She turned and caught his gaze, giving him thumbs-up. The song they had practiced on – she had convinced the DJ to play it. He glanced down at Kiku who was looking at the couples with a soft smile, obviously not expecting Hajime to try to dance after their conversation.

He coughed a little loudly, attracting her attention and showing his hand. She stared at him in disbelief, a blush spreading on his cheeks.

"Do you… um, would you like to dance… with me…?" He asked with a huge grin, despite his embarrassment.

Her eyes sparkled and she took his hand, her smile spreading wide over her face – his favorite smile.

"I-I would love to…" She answered.

He took her to the dance-floor, putting one hand on her waist and holding her hand with the other while she got closer, one hand on his shoulder. He waited a moment to count on the music, Kiku staring at him in a mix of awe and amusement, then he started moving, Kiku easily following the steps that _he_ guided her into. He must have practiced a lot to go from being a disaster at dancing to managing to dance so easily with her.

"Hajime," Kiku called when she noticed him being stiff.

He looked into her eyes and she smiled.

"Just enjoy it," she said.

He smiled back and they continued dancing for the rest of the song, both grinning and blushing like fools. They never stopped looking at each other, always smiling and touching softly, following the quiet rhythm of the song.

Even if the previous day, Hajime had thought the song had been way too long to learn anything right, now, he felt disappointed when it ended way too soon. The couples all stopped and stepped away from each other with smiles, waiting for the following dance, more upbeat to start. Everyone started dancing once again.

Everyone except Kiku and Hajime. They had stopped dancing when the song had ended but now they could only stare at each other, hands holding and lost into each other's gazes. The only persons still in the middle of waves of dancing people.

"Thank you…" Kiku whispered, but somehow she was still heard despite the loud music and laughs of people, "For… learning how to dance for me a-and… and just for being part of my life… I love you, Hajime…"

His heart missed a beat before it beat fast and strong against his chest, as if desperately trying to reach out and embrace Kiku.

"I love you too, Kiku…" He answered.

He leaned down, closing his eyes as they kissed tenderly. She got closer to him while everyone danced and laughed on some upbeat music.

"Let's get out of here," Kiku said breathlessly when they pulled away for air.

"U-um, a-are you sure? You don't want to… dance? I mean, I thought–"

"Hajime." She cut, putting a hand on his cheek, "I'm ready."

He opened and closed his lips, cheeks blushing.

With his parents away, he and Kiku had planned to go to his place to spend the night. He had hoped they'd get to have a romantic make-out session after the dance party…

"Ready… _as in_ …"

"Yes," she said with an enchanting smile, cheeks turning red.

He nodded wordlessly, taking her hand in his and squeezing hard, as if to express all of the depth of his love for her through this touch. She squeezed back, just as intensely and they quietly escaped the dancing crowd and the dance party. The moment they were walking away from the gymnasium and under the stars, Kiku turned to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders as they kissed, more passionately than before. His hands went against her behind and he lifted her up, making her laugh as he carried her like a panda for a while. They were still kissing, but clumsily – partly because they were walking, mostly because they couldn't stop grinning and chuckling.

 **[NSFW]**

After a while, Kiku went down and, holding hands, occasionally kissing and chuckling, they went back to the Iwaizumi apartment. They took off their shoes and went directly into Hajime's bedroom, falling on top of the bed and kissing tenderly. His hand caressed her leg until it went under her dress, pulling it over her legs. His fingers grabbed the side of her panties and he pulled away, looking down at Kiku. The only light in the room were the stars and the moon, but they didn't need any more light – they were each other's lights. They looked into each other's eyes, shining and sparkling in love and desire. Time seemed to stop and it was only the two of them, sighing blissfully and fingers brushing each other's skin lightly.

Kiku hesitantly brushed her lips against his and he opened his mouth, tongues meeting and they shared a deep, breathtaking kiss. Kiku's hands went into his hair, pulling him closer as his hands grabbed her hips tightly. Then, she started pushing off his jacket. He straightened up just enough to shrug it off, sitting up to open his shirt but when he took too long to unbutton his shirt, Kiku's hands helped him, his shirt quickly being thrown away. She sat up, lips kissing and biting his pectorals while her hands caressed his abs, sides and arms. Both sighed while he reached for the back of her dress, unzipping it enough for the sleeves to start falling off her shoulders. She pulled off her dress just as he leaned down, starting to kiss her neck and shoulder. He gave tender kisses, a soft touch of his hands, taking in her scent and making sure to show love to her scars as well as any other inch of skin of her body. She remained lying while he left peppering kisses all over her body, from her collarbone to her navel, the curve of her breasts or her thighs, caressing her arms and her sides, leaving light nibbling and love marks everywhere he could.

Finally, getting too aroused, he went back to kissing her lips, Kiku immediately kissing him back while her hands reached for his belt. After some struggling because she couldn't see what she was doing, she started pulling it off. Hajime moved to take off his pants and socks, both now in their underwear. They kissed for a while longer, their hearts beating fast and hard against their chests, they could feel through each other's touch. Sighing, Kiku let her head drop against the pillows, her hands caressing tenderly his spiky hair. She tugged at it lightly, pulling his face and attention back to her face. They looked into each other's eyes, cheeks blushing and both quietly wondering if they were really doing this.

"A-are you sure… you want to do it…?" He asked in a light voice.

Kiku nodded without a word then kissed him softly to show her love for him.

He kissed her back while taking off her bra, caressing her soft skin and slowly kissing her neck and chest, giving love to her breasts and then going down and stopping at her pussy. He glanced up at Kiku, she was looking at him, a mix of embarrassment, love and excitement shining in her eyes. He slowly pulled off her panties and to distract himself, he started kissing and sucking on her pussy. Kiku immediately sighed, head falling backward while he made sure she was wet enough. His heart went even faster than before as he went back to kissing her lips, hesitatingly starting to pull off his boxers.

"Wait–" Kiku said suddenly, hands on his chest, "Towel–"

"R-right… a-and c-condom…" He said with a quick nod, standing up.

"No, no condom," she said, making him frown in confusion, "I-I'll take the morning pill tomorrow…"

"I thought it was making you sick?"

"It does, b-but for our first time I… I want to feel… everything…" She explained sheepishly, blushing even more.

He nodded awkwardly, blushing as well then went to get a towel he carefully put under Kiku while they went back into position, but feeling a little more clumsy than before. To make the weird atmosphere go away, he kissed her and touched her but she was suddenly trembling a little.

"A-are you nervous?" He asked, observing her face closely.

"A-a little… are you?"

He nodded, swallowing hard, but she smiled and he relaxed at once, despite the frenetic beating of his heart.

"I-I'm scared to hurt you…" He admitted, knowing she would feel pain but not knowing how to make her feel better.

"It's going to be okay…" She said reassuringly, cupping his cheeks, "Dancers, gymnasts, horse riders… because of our sports, our hymens break a little without us realizing it. It's usually less painful for us than other girls."

"…But you will feel pain, right?" He said sadly.

"It's a necessary step, Hajime. Then, it'll feel better. I think. I hope… I… suppose it depends on how well you're doing your job afterward…" She said, a little teasing.

He blushed even more, rolling his eyes but chuckling.

"Right… I'd better do a good job, is that what you're saying?"

"I'm not worried about that, you're a natural." She continued with a coy smile.

He almost bit his tongue in embarrassment but couldn't help and smile widely:

"You never told me that before, it's very pleasing to my ears."

"Don't get on your high horse. Get started now!" She laughed, lightly tapping his shoulder.

He chuckled in amusement, leaning down to kiss her lips again. She kissed him back, in between chuckles and loving gazes. She started pulling at his boxers, her way of silently saying that she was ready. He took it off all the way and the light-hearted, teasing atmosphere vanished, leaving only desire and love sparkling between them, surrounding them in a bubble of warmth and peace.

"T-tell me if you need me to stop…" Hajime whispered.

She nodded and they looked into each other's eyes as he found her entrance and slowly pushed inside. The sensation of her walls around him was overwhelming, he couldn't help but growl and close his eyes – he was so lost into the sensations that he didn't realize he arrived at a barrier and pushed. Kiku gasped at the sharp pain shooting through her body, her nails digging into his shoulders. It was enough to bring Hajime back on earth and when he saw her bite hard on her lower lip, tears suddenly streaming down her face, he pulled away.

"I-I'm sorry! Kiku – are you okay?!" He asked in panic.

She didn't let go of his shoulders but he didn't mind the pain – it was nothing against what she was going through at the moment.

"I-I thought it wasn't supposed to hurt that much…" He mumbled, as she slowly breathed to calm down and calm her pain.

"M-me too…" She admitted, teeth gritted.

She chuckled nervously and she felt a little better, her hold on him relaxing. He calmed down as well but didn't move.

"T-the pain is gone now… you can… try again…" She said, blushing terribly.

Hajime swallowed hard, his thumb wiping away the tears still rolling down her eyes. He leaned down, kissing tenderly her closed eyes, then her wet cheeks, then her lips again. She kissed him back softly and while she was distracted from her sudden anxiousness, he pushed himself into her again, making sure to go very slowly. Their eyes met and once again she gasped, but this time, it wasn't out of pain. It was just the fulfilling sensation of their bodies bound together. Rather than their bodies, their souls were connected. They both sighed and breathed heavily, still for a moment.

"I-I love you… so much…" Hajime whispered, kissing her lips again.

She opened her lips to answer but he rolled his hips and she gasped once again, holding onto him tightly to not lose her mind at the way he made her feel.

"I-I love you even more…" She murmured, a lovely smile on her lips.

He smiled in amusement, slowly moving in and out of her, their hands caressing and their lips kissing. It didn't take long for Hajime to get close – he was too aroused and it was too much, all at once, he couldn't hold himself back when he accelerated. Kiku's squeals got higher and she clenched her thighs against his hips.

"I-I'm gonna… aah… K-Kiku…"

"I-I love you–"

She squealed when he came suddenly, neither really expecting it. He fell against her, breathing heavily while she caressed his hair. He quickly moved away, looking down at her as he got out.

"I-I'm s-sorry!"

"Why?" She asked, blinking curiously, still letting her fingers go through his hair.

"Y-you d-didn't… you didn't… um, enjoy it, right…?" He asked, shoulders dropping in shame to not have brought enough pleasure for the love of his life.

"…I did. It was great." She said with a smile.

"You hesitated." He remarked, frowning lightly.

Kiku looked away guiltily, then she sighed, but she was still unable to meet his eyes.

"W-well… it was a little quick…" She admitted.

"I know… I'm sorry, I thought I would have been able to hold back long enough but… I couldn't…"

She smiled in amusement, cupping his cheek. Her thumb brushed his skin and he leaned against the palm of her hand, closing his eyes in guilt and shame.

"Keep your eyes closed," Kiku said suddenly, moving.

Hands against his sides, she made him roll on his back. He opened his eyes, looking at her curiously but she gave him a scolding look:

"I said to keep your eyes closed!" She exclaimed with an amused smile.

He closed his eyes again, feeling a little awkward while she moved around. She grabbed the towel tainted from blood, she cleaned herself then his still half-hard penis. He clenched his jaws at the touch and strange sensation of the towel.

"U-um, you're not going to ride me…? Because even if I'd love to try that someday, I'm not sure that five minutes of sexual experience is enough for us to get to that step yet." He said, eyes still closed.

"Five minutes? Don't overestimate yourself, you didn't even last _two_ minutes, Hajime." She replied.

He opened his eyes, glaring at her for this comment but she was already putting aside the towel and leaning down. She took his half hard-on in her hands, her mouth close to it but she wasn't done talking:

"I thought you were a volleyball player with one of the best stamina of the team, uh?" She teased.

"I-it's different! It's a different stamina! I wasn't ready! B-but soon I'll be able to last for a long time! L-like, in like a few minutes if you're going to do what I think you're going to do…" He continued, voice trailed off in an embarrassed mumble.

She smiled, kissing the top of his penis then letting her tongue come out, teasingly licking his entire length.

"And… what do you think I'm going to do…?" She asked, her hair brushing the top of his thigh.

He felt excitement shoot through his body and he tried to calm down but it was hard when she looked at him so sexily.

"…Y-you're going to… get me hard again…?" He proposed.

"You mean… like that…?"

She slowly took his hard-on into her mouth, driving him mad within seconds. He growled, letting his head drop backwards when her mouth and tongue did sinful things to him. He knew he got harder and bigger in her mouth and he was more than ready to get to another round but Kiku seemed to enjoy what she did to him. After some more of this heavenly blowjob, she pulled away.

"You know you looked very sexy like that…?" She said, kissing and occasionally licking the head of his shaft.

He chuckled while she admired his muscular body and the sight of his throat exposed as he remained lost in ecstasy. Her fingers delicately brushed over the sensitive skin, from his navel up to his pectorals. She could feel every muscle tensing under her touch while her tongue caught some pre-cum coming out of him just as he clenched his fists around the sheets.

"I think I'm ready…" He mumbled, looking back at her and this time, his eyes were bright in lust – without losing any of the love they held for her.

She smiled then moved, straddling his laps, her pussy teasing him.

"So, what is it you were saying about me riding you?" She said, knowing they both loved dry humping when she was on top of him – actual sex would probably be as enjoyable.

His hands went to her hips, and she thought he would guide her to his erection, but instead, he rolled her around. She gasped, suddenly on her back once again as he looked down at her, an amused smirk dancing on his lips.

"Not today," he said hotly.

Her heart accelerated just as he plunged into her. She gasped, even more sensitive than before after all the playing and teasing. He smirked, feeling her walls tight around him. He started moving but when she started laughing, jerking her head backwards, he slowed down, looking down at her in astonishment – a laugh wasn't what he had been expected.

"That bad, uh?" He mumbled.

"N-not at all!" She exclaimed, holding onto him, "I-it's just… it's actually quite good!" She answered.

"I still don't see what's so funny about it."

She chuckled, rolling her hips up to meet his. They both gasped, smirking and continuing their steady rhythm, bodies moving in perfect harmony, sliding against one another. Their breaths became shorter, their hands grabbing more desperately on the other's body, they were covered in sweat, hair sticking against their foreheads…

"A-aaah… H-Hajime…" She sighed, letting her head fall backwards.

He kissed her neck and she gasped, accelerating against him. He growled, keeping up with her rhythm. Both got a little more intense, more frenetic, more desperate to reach the ultimate bliss. Lips kissing clumsily, breaths shorts, their names moaned in a raspy voice.

"H-Hajime!" Kiku gasped, her legs tightening around his hips.

He growled but suddenly she grabbed his face, staring right into his eyes. Time stopped, the only thing that mattered being their gazes and the infinite love shining in it. He leaned down, kissing her passionately, she kissed him back, voices smothered by this lovely kiss when they came together. Bodies freezing, their nails digging into each other's flesh, their heartbeats frenetic but following a peaceful rhythm. They were filled with warmth and love, floating in another dimension that only lovers could reach, beyond space or time.

Slowly, they came down from their high, Hajime slumping against Kiku, both breathing hard, trying to catch their breath after their tender, but intense love-making. He caressed her sides as her hands went into his spiky hair and after long minutes when they enjoyed the afterglow of their moment, Hajime finally moved and rolled on his side, pulling Kiku close against him. Pressing her back against his chest, ignoring the feeling of her scars against his skin, he hid his face against her neck. She was still sweating, hair damp against her neck as her hands covered his, fingers entwining…

"Hajime…" Kiku called in a hushed voice, as if afraid to wake him, or ruin the moment.

He opened his eyes, brushing his nose against her neck, leaving tender kisses.

"I think I fell even more in love with you… if it's possible…"

There was a pause, when he took in these words, realizing that his feelings mirrored hers.

"Thank you… for everything…" She whispered.

She turned her head to look at him, eyes filled with tears of happiness. His heart missed a beat at the sight and he propped himself up on his elbow, his fingers caressing her cheek then entwining with her hair.

"No, thank _you_ …" He answered.

They stared into each other's eyes, both moved by the same overwhelming emotions of intense love.

He leaned down, kissing her tenderly while her fingers reached his cheek, caressing him softly.

It was their first-time, their first love-making, the first time their bodies and souls were bounded by more than just vows of love and kisses, but they could feel in their hearts that it was the first of many, _many_ nights together. Perhaps even forever? At least, it was what they hoped for – _forever_ …

* * *

 _I can't wait to write (probably in Oikawa's fanfics) when the girls will all be friends and Kiku will thank Ayaka for giving her the perfect evening leading to her first time. Bokuto will never shut up about it either until hegets more annoying than Oikawa for Iwaizumi._

 _I hope you liked this chapter! An important step forward in their relationship! And enxt chapter is... ah... If you're as sensitive as me, prepare the handkerchief, I was very emotional._

 _I promise Sowlmate will be updated soon, like as soon as I've posted the next chapter, you'll have some of the promised training camp with all the future National team's boys together!_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : THE KING AND HIS ACE_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	54. The King and his Ace

_Here is the new chapter, I hope you will enjoy it! Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **PhantomSeekerz255** : I'm veryhappy you liked the story even if I don't know how far you went. Hopefully, Kiku and Hajime will keep being as cute as ever in your opinion~! ;) I'd love to make a complete list of Hajime's list of everything he likes about Kiku, but the thing is.. it's almost endless. He won't stop adding new things to his list even after they start datng, or even years after they've been together. He always falls a little more in love with her, so, I can't post the entire list because it'd be several books for Hajime and an endless list~! :)_

 _ **Aquafin** : I loved adding Bokuto and Ayaka, their itneractions with Seijou were so interesting to write! :D_

 _ **ren-hatake** : Thank you for yuor word,s it made me very happy! I love writing about evolving characters ad I'm just as impatient to post the new stories soon for Kuroo and Oikawa! ;) Aaah, you got a spoiler for Bokuto and Ayaka but well, my characters all get a happy ending, so~! First-time ought to be a clumsy, also it's adorable, isn't it~? ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER LIV : The King and his Ace

" _When I love, I love: wholly, thoroughly, completely, drowning in everything. Every glance can be a conversation, eyes just playing and saying what needs to be said. Silence is loud, and the air becomes heavy. I want you. I want all of you."_

— **Warsan Shire**

" _Kiss me with your eyes."_

— **Andy Warhol**

" _We were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other; hopelessly."_

— **Vladimir Nabokov**

" _You are so good. So good, you're always feeling so much. And sometimes it feels like you're gonna bust wide open from all the feeling, don't it? People like you are the best in the world, but you sure do suffer for it."_

— **Silas House, This is My Heart for You**

" _Everyone has talent. What's rare is the courage to follow it to the dark places where it leads."_

― **Erica Jong**

" _Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine."_

― **Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart**

" _You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once."_

― **Robert A. Heinlein**

"Some people think to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality, it's the strongest people who feel it, understand it, and accept it."

— **Unknown**

" _My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me."_

— **Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience**

" _The truth is that monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win."_

— **Stephen King, The Shinning**

" _Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together."_

― **Marilyn Monroe**

" _There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself – an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly."_

— **Antisthenes**

" _For surely a king is first a man. And so it must follow that a king does as all men do: the best he can."_

― **Cameron Dokey, The Storyteller's Daughter: A Retelling of the Arabian Nights**

Hajime and Kiku glanced at each other, smiling widely with flushed cheeks. Sparkles and flowers surrounded them, even though they were standing several meters away and they were in the middle of practice.

Oikawa, Hanamaki, Matsukawa, and pretty much the whole team, couldn't help but stare at the two curiously. They had spent the last few days like that – always smiling like idiots, sparkling and being so happy it was overwhelming everyone.

"…Are they going to be like that for a long time?" Mattsun asked, getting tired of seeing them so happy-go-lucky all the time.

Oikawa shrugged just as Iwaizumi came back – most of the first and second years went away, pretending to be busy and not at all curiously staring at him. They had duties to attend to, after all.

"Oikawa, coach gave me the lists for the month's supplies," he said, still smiling happily.

Oikawa took the paper, staring firmly at his friend who glanced over his shoulder at Kiku – who was glancing at him as well.

"Did you two have sex?" Hanamaki asked bluntly.

Hajime startled, freezing and turning a bright red.

"Y-you! W-what–! H-how…!" He stammered.

"I knew it," Makki said, showing his hand that Mattsun tapped.

"Okay, you won the bet this time." He mumbled annoyingly.

"Did you two seriously have a bet on whether or not we _had…!"_

His voice trailed off, cheeks getting even redder before he covered his mouth with the back of his hand, unable to look at his friends. Happy for him, and definitely not dropping the teasing atmosphere _now_ , Hanamaki and Matsukawa continued:

"Oooh~ He's blushing, how cute~!"

"How was it~? Did you enjoy it~?"

"Of course he did, look at that smile! Look at this blush! He probably did lots of sinful things to our adorable and innocent manager-chan~!"

Iwaizumi gritted his teeth, unable to find anything to answer, he was too embarrassed but that, but they continued, commenting on his red cheeks and embarrassment and how he had become a man. They didn't realize that Irihata and Mizoguchi had appeared behind them, hearing everything and staring, unamused, at the group of teenagers. Oikawa was the first one to notice them, gasping and suddenly patting on Makki and Mattsun's shoulders who froze as well:

"Y-you don't have to know any details on how Kiku and I's first time was! It was nice and perfect and _yes_ I'm blushing but it's _obvious_ when we've just lost our virginity! Stop making fun of me or I'm going to–"

Hajime's voice trailed off when he noticed the others remaining silent, and not smirking anymore. He followed their gazes and froze when he saw the coaches. They stared back at him as silence went on and on…

"I… w-we didn't… I-it was just a figure of speech…" He stammered.

Irihata rolled his eyes at that.

"How stupid do you think I am? I didn't need to hear your rambling to understand that you had done it with how obvious you are…" Irihata mumbled, walking away while Mizoguchi mumbled about _'teenagers these days'…_

Hajime turned around towards the others with wide eyes:

"I'm _obvious?_ Really?!"

" _Please."_ Hanamaki simply said, sighing and shaking his head in despair.

They all laughed at the face Iwaizumi made, slowly realizing that he might have been a _little_ obvious in his happiness these last few days…

"Gather around!" Mizoguchi shouted suddenly.

Everyone ran to their coaches, Iwaizumi carefully avoiding staring at either of them, or at Kiku.

"We received the pamphlets for the Spring High, so we know what teams we'll face first. Nothing to worry about, I'm certain you will go far, as usual." Irihata said with an encouraging smile.

Papers of the Spring-High's pamphlets were distributed around for everyone to see the different teams. Everyone's faces were serious, the mood sparkling with determination to win and go to the Nationals.

They discussed the pamphlets for a little bit before practicing. Kiku could tell that they were all more tense. Receiving the pamphlets made the competition more real, it was closer and more than anything, it was the last chance for the third-years to win against Ushijima and Shiratorizawa. Even though, they had all the other teams before to vanquish.

At the end of practice, or rather once Oikawa had stopped his own practice because Iwaizumi forced him to, they quickly locked the changing-room before joining Kiku who was waiting for them. Hajime slipped his fingers with hers and they started walking quietly.

"You're okay?" He asked her after a while.

She startled, looking up at him and Oikawa:

"Y-yeah, but… are you?" She asked, squeezing his hand for comfort.

Their brows furrowed, understanding the real question behind this.

"We'll win," Iwaizumi said with a strong voice.

"Our team won't lose another time against Shiratorizawa." Oikawa added.

Kiku nodded before smiling and jumping in front of them:

"I know you'll win! You worked hard for that! There's no other alternative!" Kiku exclaimed confidently.

"Thank you, Kiku-chan," Oikawa said, patting her head before pointing at the other side of the road, "I'm going home ahead. See you tomorrow, you two~!"

"See you tomorrow," they answered, going into another way so Iwaizumi could walk Kiku home.

The moment the couple was out of view, Tooru lost his smile, shoulders tensing once again as he headed home. The last Spring-High, the last high-school competition, the last time he'll play with this team, _his_ team, Aoba Jousai. The last chance to win against Shiratorizawa and go to Nationals.

The days of intense practice, to polish their skills, to get stronger, to refine their tactics, turned into weeks and before they knew it, the Spring High preliminaries started. All the strongest of Miyagi Prefecture were here, the top sixteen teams, the best of the best of the entire prefecture and all eyes were on Shiratorizawa and Aoba Jousai.

"Kiku! Are you done filling the bottles of water?" Iwaizumi asked as they gathered their stuff before going to warm up for their first match.

"Y-yes! The first-years helped me!" She exclaimed, nervous for them.

He nodded then zipped his bag and stood up:

"I'm going to the bathroom, Oikawa, handle the–"

"Wait for me, Iwa-chan! I need to go to the toilets too! I don't want to go alone!" He exclaimed, hurrying to get next to his friend.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes before turning towards the rest of his team:

"Anyone else need to be accompanied to the toilets like a child or will you survive?" he asked in a hard voice.

They all snickered while Oikawa gasped at the insult.

"You go and enjoy your toilet break, I'll watch over the team," Kiku said with an amused smile.

"What is enjoyable about a toilet break?" Iwaizumi asked, eyes looking up at the ceiling.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa coughed loudly at that but the Ace decided to ignore them to go to the bathroom, followed by Oikawa who was occasionally glancing around at the other teams and various supporters who had come. When they walked past a group of three girls from Shiratorizawa, Oikawa couldn't help but glance over his shoulder, staring firmly at them before looking back in front of him, a light pout on his face. Remembering everything he had recently learned about his best friend's (mystery) love life, Iwaizumi blinked, glanced quickly at the girls then back at Oikawa:

"She might be already in the seats for Shiratorizawa," he said, "If you want to go have a look, you can–"

"No. I'm not going into enemy territory." He answered with a hard voice and stubborn look on his face.

"Aren't you exaggerating a little? We're not at war… And I know you said you didn't want to hold onto her because of the impossibility of you two having a relationship, but shouldn't you at least try a bit more?" Iwaizumi continued, feeling sorry that the only girl who had interested his friend was in Shiratorizawa Academy.

Oikawa didn't answer, apparently pondering the question. Iwaizumi could tell he was tempted to see her, but his pride kept him from going to the Shiratorizawa seats and try to find her. She might not even be here considering today was a school day and not everyone had come.

"…I'll wait for the finals." He said, not quite saying whether or not he'd actively look for her – especially that Iwaizumi knew that on the finals day, Oikawa wouldn't have this girl in mind but he'd focus on the match instead.

It'd be difficult to find or see her, even less talk – and it wasn't even considering the outcome of the match. Iwaizumi was about to voice this outloud when Oikawa's blinking eyes caught his attention. Almost immediately a pout appeared on his face as he stopped, a few meters from the bathroom and hands on his hips:

"Whatcha doing here?" Oikawa asked with a big smile.

Karasuno's number ten turned around, took in the view of the two tall players of Aoba Jousai, then jumped out of his skin, shaking so hard they could hear his teeth.

"I heard you defeated the two-meters guy. Well done." Iwaizumi said calmly, trying to reassure him a little before he'd have a heart attack.

"Y-yes! No!" He exclaimed, turning towards Iwaizumi.

"Which is it?"

Before he could answer though, Oikawa put on his devilish mask on, smirking down at the poor number ten.

"This little shrimp is a handful during the matches, why don't we go bury him somewhere now?" He said in a threatening voice, leaning down towards him.

"P-pardon me!" Hinata cried out, trying to run away while Iwaizumi stared, unamused, at Oikawa for scaring the poor boy like that.

The scream of pain from number ten when he hit someone attracted their attention back on him. Oikawa and Iwaizumi immediately tensed when they saw _who_ he had bumped into. Ushijima Wakatoshi looked down at the shrimp.

"Hinata Shouyou." He said, making the poor thing shriek in distress, then looking up at his rivals, "And Oikawa and Iwaizumi."

"What's with this timing?" Oikawa hissed, glaring at him.

"Hell if I know!" Iwaizumi answered, just as dark.

Hinata glanced between them while Ushijima continued, annoyingly calm and unfazed:

"So this will be your last tournament in high-school. I wish you well." He said as if he was talking about the weather.

The bad grins on their faces, and the veins popping angrily at their foreheads was nothing compared to the anguish they felt within themselves to hear such _annoyingly confident_ words from the Super Ace.

"You seriously piss me off…!" Oikawa hissed.

"We're going to Nationals, so it's not going to be our last!" Iwaizumi added on the same tone.

Ushiwaka blinked, mildly confused:

"Only one team from the qualifiers can go to Nationals." He answered calmly, _honestly_ saying that to give them the right information.

Both Iwaizumi and Oikawa had to hold back the sudden urge to kick him, or hit a volley ball into his face for these words, their entire bodies tense and trembling in rage. Oikawa's hands were _that_ close to reach out to strangle him.

 _The fact that he's not saying that just to be mean… is even more infuriating…!_ They both thought in the same time.

With the confrontation, and the dark aura around them, a few passerbys started noticing the group of teenagers glaring at each other.

"What's going on?"

"Woah! It's Shiratorizawa and Seijou! Did we just walk in on a tense situation?"

"Who's the guy in the middle?"

"It's that guy! From the team that beat the two-meters guy, Karasuno! It's the number ten from Karasuno!"

"Is he trying to pick a fight with Seijou and Shiratorizawa? Holy crap!"

Being in the middle of the conflict, Hinata was sweating bullets but when he heard these whispers, he couldn't help and try to pipe in:

"A-anyway…! Karasuno's going to win… _EEEK!"_ He screamed when all three players looked down at him threateningly.

He probably lost a few years of his life then, immediately stepping away to try to calm them, doubled as an escape attempt, before he would _really_ get buried somewhere. He hit someone else, turning around and screaming when he met, once again, one of his fateful foe.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Hinata exclaimed, stepping away from Datekou's main blocker, Aone Takanobu.

Ushiwaka then turned away from them all.

"Whoever it is, we'll gladly accept your challenge." He said in a hard voice before stepping away, probably to find other toilets somewhere else.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa stared as he walked away, the giant of Datekou and Hinata greeting each other. Huffing annoyingly, Oikawa entered the toilets, followed by his friend.

"He's as annoying as ever…!" Oikawa hissed, "At the very least, I can find comfort in the fear we put into this shrimp's heart!" He continued.

Iwaizumi sighed, glancing over his shoulder and seeing that said-shrimp wasn't entering, either he was talking with Datekou's blocker, or he got too scared to enter these toilets and was trying to find others somewhere else.

"I'm surprised his bladder held on, though," he said with an amused smile.

Oikawa chuckled but they quickly darkened once again.

"We're going to beat them all and go to Nationals," he said in a hard voice.

Iwaizumi made a sound of agreement but yet again, the determined atmosphere switched to a more ridiculous one when Oikawa suddenly turned around and ran into the nearest stalls.

"But first! TOILETS!"

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

A few minutes later, when they got back with their team, they were still tense and quickly shared with the others the encounters. It had the effect for everyone to focus on the matches to come and soon enough, the various teams lined up for the first round.

Seijou had a first match against Dewaichi High-school on the first day, which they easily won even if Dewaichi put up a good fight. Then, the following day, they had two more teams to face: Datekougyou High-school, and if they won, they'd later face whoever would win between Karasuno High-school and Wakunan Minami High-school.

Despite its Giant setter, Datekougyou's plays was all over the place, it was a new team, with second and first years and against the experience of Aoba Jousai, and mostly Iwaizumi's unwavering strength, they lost.

The real match was against Karasuno high-school – before their match against Datekou, Aoba Jousai had seen Karasuno's Captain getting hit violently by one of his teammates and they had considered the possibility it'd break the team. But they didn't and the crows beat Wakunan Minami. Aoba Jousai intended to win once again against Karasuno and then… it'll be Shiratorizawa's turn.

After a light lunch, Aoba Jousai was warming up before the match, everyone silent for once, intensely focused on the match to come. Kiku couldn't help but worry. It was the fourth of finals, Karasuno had easily won against Johzenji, a top four team of the last inter-High and despite the Captain of Karasuno being injured, they won against Wakunan Minami, one of the powerhouse of late. She didn't doubt her boys' capacities or determination, but because they had won once against Karasuno, she hoped they wouldn't underestimate them and their obvious progress.

Kindaichi went to get some water, attracting Kiku's attention.

"You're okay, Kindaichan?" She asked him worriedly – he was always focused before a match but now he was more tense than usual and she didn't like that.

He seemed surprised by her question, blinking and she thought he'd start stammering like he sometimes did, but instead, he just frowned.

"I'm fine. We're facing this guy again."

"Kageyama-kun… isn't it? I know there's bad blood between you all, but, you don't have to worry. You won against him once, you will win again!" She said confidently.

Kindaichi seemed to relax a little, smiling to her before nodding, boosted by his manager's words:

"Y-yeah, thank you, Akiyama-senpai!" He exclaimed.

Feeling less pressured, he went back to practice receives with his teammates. Then Kiku's eyes traveled around the gymnasium and she saw the third-years, except for Oikawa and Iwaizumi who were discussing with the coaches. She wanted to encourage them, knowing that more than anyone they felt the need to win against Karasuno. More than anyone they wanted, _needed_ to get to the finals against Shiratorizawa to finally get their long-awaited revenge on Ushijima. But before she had time to tell them anything, Oikawa turned around:

"Gather around!" He called.

Everyone dropped their balls and whatever they were practicing to move towards their Captain and Vice-Captain.

"We're going to go on the court for the common practice with Karasuno. Then, we're going to win! We beat them once, we'll do it again!" Oikawa exclaimed to encourage his teammates.

"OSSS!"

"SEIJOU! FIGHT!" He shouted.

"OOOSSS!"

They started moving, and Kiku gathered her stuff before swiftly going next to Oikawa and Iwaizumi. She slid her fingers through his while they were walking in the hall, discreetly attracting his attention on her while they still could.

"Hey… um, you know I believe in you?" She said in a voice low enough he'd be the only one to hear.

His green eyes widened slightly, as if surprised by the sudden words but then he smiled, his pride and confidence boosted by these simple words and her reassuring smile.

"I'd love to see the Sky Tree with you," he answered, just as quiet.

She smiled brightly and he squeezed her hand in his, looking straight into her eyes.

"I promise you we'll beat Karasuno and Shiratorizawa, we'll go to the Nationals and we'll visit the Sky Tree together, just you and–"

"Are you planning a trip to the Sky Tree already? We haven't won, yet, Iwa-chan~! It's been our dream in so long, though! I already know everything we'll do and see in Tokyo!" Oikawa exclaimed when he overheard a few words.

Iwaizumi glared at him for interrupting him while Kiku sighed, smiling in amusement.

"I was about to say 'just you and me', but I suppose you'd tag along anyway." He grumbled.

Oikawa looked at him, he didn't seem shocked but there was some sort of un-surprised hurt and melancholy passing quickly into his eyes. Then he smiled, something light but sad.

"We've been talking about visiting the Sky Tree together for years now… but I guess your priorities have changed. But we'll go there." Oikawa said with a strange confidence.

Iwaizumi stared at him, suddenly feeling guilty when he remembered that he and Okawa had spent years dreaming of going to the Sky Tree _together_ when they'll go to Nationals. But with Kiku… things have changed for Hajime, his priorities have changed. It didn't mean he hadn't forgotten his promise with his best friend, though.

"…Oikawa, I–"

"Oi, what are you doing? We're waiting for you!" Hanamaki called from afar.

Oikawa smiled at the couple, patted Iwaizumi's shoulder then hurried to guide his team onto the court. Hajime and Kiku remained behind, the young girl glancing between the two friends before reaching for her boyfriend's arm with her other hand, making him look up:

"He understands, you know. And _I_ understand too… I'd actually rather see the two of you on top of the Sky Tree, conquering Nationals, than have a romantic date with you there."

Hajime blinked then grinned sheepishly.

"Geez… and here I was trying to be a gentleman, inviting you on a date and all…"

She chuckled at his grumpy, but thankful expression after her words.

"Don't worry, we'll get our Tokyo date someday." She said.

She went on her tiptoes, quickly kissing his cheek before stepping behind him, pushing him forward:

"Come on, go be your team's pillar, Ace! Before something goes wrong with your pack!"

He chuckled then stepped forward. Kiku didn't have to keep pushing him so she just watched as he moved on, steps confident, back straight and chin held up high. Her heart beat a little faster and she smiled to herself. Really, she would never get tired to see him as the strong and confident Ace of Aoba Jousai.

On the court, while Karasuno and Aoba Jousai warmed up, determination sparked on both sides of the court. Both teams eyed the others to find out how much progress they had gone through in the last few months. Both were trying to impress their opponents.

"Karasuno definitely seems different…" Oikawa murmured to himself, a light smile at the realization just as a ball arrived to his feet.

He bent down to retrieve it, but another hand reached for it. Looking up, he froze in the same time as Kageyama before they both started pulling for the same ball.

"Well, well!" He exclaimed loudly, making everyone glance at the scene they were causing, "If it isn't Tobio-chan, who was miserably defeated last time!"

"We've come to win this time!" Kageyama replied, pulling stubbornly at the ball.

"I depressed the hell out of you last time! All that's left is this bastard Ushiwaka! I'm gonna have you get out of the way again, Tobio-chan!" He exclaimed, spreading his arms wide.

Kageyama gasped, falling backwards as Oikawa laughed in mocking victory.

"MWA HAHAHA! Take that! AHAHAH!"

"Is he really a third-year?" Hanamaki muttered while Iwaizumi glared.

"This idiot…!" He growled before whipping towards a chuckling Kiku, "Oi! Don't encourage him! Hanamaki, give me a ball!"

When his friend ignored his request, he went himself against Oikawa, pulling him away from Kageyama and scolding him while the rest of the team went back into some sort of order. Until Yahaba tried to show off in front of Karasuno's managers, but was put down by the one wearing glasses. Once again, Kiku found herself chuckling, even if Yahaba liked to think it wasn't because of his lame attempt at flirting. All laugh and light-hearted atmosphere died when he bumped into Kyouken-chan though. When the two glared at each other, Kiku glanced between them and decided to intervene, considering Iwaizumi was still scolding Oikawa:

"Be nice, and don't cause any problem," she told them.

Yahaba seemed embarrassed but nodded, always so polite to his senpais and ladies. Kyoutani glanced at Kiku then huffed and walked away with a tiny "ooss" escaping his lips.

"I still can't believe Akiyama-senpai isn't afraid of Kyoutani…" Kindaichi said as he helped up Yahaba.

"Aah… at first I thought it was because she's dating Iwaizumi-san, but it's just because she beat all of us at arm-wrestling, including Kyoutani…" Yahaba answered, shoulders dropping.

Kindaichi tried not to be too embarrassed at the memory, remembering the bitter defeat from a few weeks ago when their cute manager had decided to join them in their arm-wrestling contest. And easily won against everyone, the only one she had difficulty with being Iwaizumi who finally won and kept his title of champion of Aoba Jousai. They had all forgotten that their innocent-looking manager was a gymnast who could hold and lift her entire body weight _and_ helped her father at the bakery, including transporting extremely heavy bags of flours.

"She's… definitely impressive…" Kindaichi admitted.

After some niceties exchanged between the two Captains, it was decided that Karasuno would receive Seijou's serve first. The two teams lined up, Kiku's nerves getting the best of her. She glanced at her boys lined up, and mostly at Hajime. They all stared at Karasuno from across the court with determination and unwavering confidence.

After a quick speech from the coaches, Oikawa moved in front of his team, hands on his hips and spoke up:

"I hate to admit it, but Karasuno is a formidable opponent…"

"I'm surprised you're being so honest," Hanamaki said.

"I definitely learned from last time. If we let our guard down, we'll get swallowed up. So we need to go all out from the start!" He said with a smirk and hard voice.

"Oooss!"

Everyone got their spirits lifted up by his guiding words just as he started entering the court, casually shaking his wrists to keep his hands warmed up.

"All right! So… I believe–"

"We believe in you, Captain!" Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki exclaimed.

Everyone blinked, the most surprised being Oikawa himself while his friends grinned, glad to have surprised him. There was a moment of stunned silence, where everyone silently acknowledged Oikawa's skills and strength – the reason why they could believe in him so faithfully – and the friendship between all the third-years. By the time Oikawa was about to answer, probably something more dramatic than it should, Iwaizumi had already stepped forward and interrupted him with a hand on his shoulder:

"We believe in your serves. If you miss, you owe us ramen." He said without even glancing at him, but even if his words seemed mocking, they all knew he believed in Oikawa for everything.

"I want extra chashu pork in mine." Hanamaki added, hand on his shoulder as he walked by.

"I'd like a side of gyoza with mine. No serve that just happen to get over either." Matsukawa finished, Oikawa still frozen.

While Oikawa was trying to not get annoyed by the way they were using him, and his serves, just for ramen, they couldn't help but grin:

"Come on, first-years, second-years, you guys can request, too!" Hanamaki said good-heartedly.

"Seriously?!" They all exclaimed joyfully.

"Mmm!" Was all Oikawa said, hands going on his hips – but that was probably the only thing he could find to say, and there really was no need for any more words after that.

Seijou's team, still teasing, went on the court while Kiku chuckled, sitting down on the bench next to Mizoguchi.

"Thanks to them, the team has relaxed!" She said.

"Yeah, it was a nice proof of trust they gave him just now. Exactly what they all needed!" He agreed, Irihata nodding.

The two teams lined up and saluted each other before moving, Oikawa going for a serve right from the get-go.

"Nice serve!"

"Shoyu!" Iwaizumi added.

"Tonkatsu!" Hanamaki echoed.

"Tantanmen!" Matsukawa said, even from the sidelines.

Everyone sighed at their shenanigan while Oikawa turned to them all:

"Do you want me to get it over, or to miss?!" Oikawa exclaimed annoyingly.

No one worried about the result though, and as the whistle resonated, everyone felt their hearts and confidence fly as their Captain jumped high, sending the ball over to Karasuno's side with as much vigor and precision as expected.

Unfortunately, Karasuno's Captain annoyingly managed to receive the ball, Kindaichi would have pushed the ball over the net if Kageyama hadn't received it. Aoba Jousai faltered yet again when the libero, Nishinoya, went for a libero toss – obviously having learned from their Watacchi – and their Ace marked a point.

While Karasuno cheered, Aoba Jousai remained frighteningly focused.

"Don't mind!" Kiku screamed to them.

They got the next point, but only thanks to Kageyama's serve being out. The plays and points carried on, intense serves and incredible plays one after another. They were neck-to-neck and if the players were calm wile giving their all, Kiku's heart was already about to burst from anxiety. She clicked her tongue in annoyance when Iwaizumi's spike was touched by Karasuno's blockers.

" _Stop_ getting in the way of my boyfriend's spikes!" She mumbled, munching on her pen.

"That's… the whole point of the game…" Mizoguchi murmured to her.

It was even worse when Karasuno's number ten went and got a point that seemed to revive even more all the crows, and in turn, making Aoba Jousai grit their teeth.

"Tch, they've picked themselves up. But that's only thanks to my advice!" Oikawa hissed, glaring at Kageyama and Hinata from the other side of the court.

"Those two getting more confident is hardly a good thing." Iwaizumi answered.

"I know. Let's take our time and form a strategy." Oikawa answered with a dangerously calm voice.

A few plays later and when Matsukawa rotated in, Oikawa's words became the inevitable reality: they managed to stop the super quick by forcing the number ten at spiking straight spikes. Little by little, the teams got over the 20s and closer to the end of the first set. When the rotation brought Oikawa to the serve, his intense focus sent chills of excitement or chills of fear down the spines of his teammates and opponents alike. He tossed the ball, jumped and– the other side's receivers didn't get a chance to even see the ball as it hit the ground with a tremendous sound.

Everyone turned silent. Kiku felt herself pale at the mere strength he had put into this serve. It wasn't just a serve, it was as powerful as a spike, it was– frighteningly impressive. The whistle resonated and Karasuno and Aoba Jousai respectively sighed in relief or swallowed back their bitterness when the serve was out – they couldn't blame their Captain for failing just this once, when this much power was put into the serve. They knew that when he used _that_ much power, it was risky, and they also knew he wouldn't let such a mistake happen again.

"So close!"

"Don't mind!"

"Argh… now Karasuno is at a set point…" Kiku mumbled.

"Kiku." Irihata simply said, and she knew what to do, "This is no time to panic. They need to get out there and fight."

She pulled out the card with the number thirteen and Irihata asked for a change in players as soon as Iwaizumi got the point and got Aoba Jousai _that_ close to catching up to Karasuno and get the set.

"Right now?" Oikawa murmured to himself with a grin as Kyoutani switched in, taking Kunimi's place.

Karasuno was wary of Kyoutani, as they should be, and the following play, when Oikawa tossed for Kindaichi, Kyoutani suddenly rushed in. He jumped and spiked with amazing power, everyone stunned by his sudden appearance and the way he had invaded the court with his mere presence so quickly.

When the whistle called the ball out, everyone on Aoba Jousai stiffened in annoyance. Kiku hit her forehead with her notebook.

"That's dangerous!" Iwaizumi shouted, hitting Kyoutani hard on the head.

Everyone startled and Kiku looked up from behind her notebook, blinking. Then everyone was, yet again, as per usual, in awe at their Ace for having the courage to not only scold the difficult lone-wolf of the team; but _hit_ him to strengthen the meaning of his words.

"Yeah, that's it! That's how to start!" Oikawa exclaimed proudly.

"Oh, uh, I'm fine…!" Kindaichi piped in hesitantly.

"I was feeling stressed because I hadn't been put in the match." Kyoutani answered, annoyed to receive a scolding from the only senpai he respected at least a little bit.

"That's not a valid reason!" Oikawa hissed.

As they went for drinks and towels, Kiku hovered near Kindaichi:

"Are you okay? You didn't get hurt when you fell?" She asked him worriedly.

"Ah! No! I'm fine!" He exclaimed, startling and flushing a little.

She smiled in relief before immediately whipping towards Kyoutani, frowning and slapping his arm with her notebook:

"And you! What were you thinking?! What are these manners?! Don't steal others' balls or put others in danger just because you're frustrated – especially to fail! There's no reason for you to be on court if you're going to lose us points!" She scolded.

"…Sorry…" He grumbled, frowning and looking away.

She huffed, still glaring while Iwaizumi crossed his arms over his chest proudly, and everyone backed of one step away from the power-couple, impressed and mildly scared. Only _they_ could scold and hit Kyoutani and survive it.

Once back on court, Oikawa gave him a few more words:

"You're more or less free to do as you want, but if you interfere with us, you'll be back on the bench." He told Kyouken-chan.

He barely acknowledged the Captain while Iwaizumi stepped froward:

"Just don't do any unnecessarily dangerous play." He added.

"Right." He answered with a nod.

"Why do you only reply to Iwa-chan or Kiku-chan?!" Oikawa hissed, feeling betrayed he wouldn't obey his Captain.

Kyoutani only huffed in answer, but they all knew it was because only Iwaizumi and their sweet manager had the guts to look him down and have the strength of mind to not back away.

But thanks to Kyoutani's powerful play and the new, erratic rhythm of Aoba Jousai that Karasuno wasn't familiar with, they got many points, accumulating them. Putting Kyoutani in was a dangerous bet, but so far, it was working just as expected.

"Oikawa-kun is truly impressive… being able to use Kyouken-chan so effectively even if he's not good with the rest of the team…" Kiku murmured, the coaches nodding at these words.

"I wouldn't have trusted anyone else to use Kyoutani, if Oikawa hadn't insisted." Irihata agreed.

Despite a few mistakes and shouts here and there, the rest of the set continued in favor of Aoba Jousai slowly racking up points, even if Karasuno was close behind. They switched in their other setter but not to replace Kageyama, like for the match of the Inter-High, but to use new tactics and strategy with the two setters working together. But it still wasn't enough and now panicking with the points difference getting wider, Karasuno called in his pinch server.

"I remember him, he missed his jump floater during the Inter-High… The poor thing had looked so devastated…" Kiku said, almost wishing for him to get his serve right – but immediately regretting betraying her support for her own team.

Still, when he took his time to serve and got it over the net and when it went long but that at the last moment, it curved back and was in. Everyone cheered – except, of course, Aoba Jousai, but Kiku couldn't help and be happy for Karasuno's pinch server, his pride and joy contagious.

"Oi, whose manager are you?" Mizoguchi mumbled, annoyed by the point Karasuno had gotten that had been important enough to lift their spirits, "Don't let Iwaizumi see you support the other team or he'll get angry."

She was about to answer when a glare from Iwaizumi attracted their attention. She startled, unable to meet his gaze in shame while Mizoguchi couldn't help but smile at that:

"Too late," he remarked.

She looked away sheepishly while the pinch server got ready for another serve. And it was another point for Karasuno. And then another – they had received the float serve but Karasuno's spiker got the point.

"Now it's starting to annoy me…" Kiku mumbled, almost tearing apart her notebook after Iwaizumi's spike had been stopped.

At that, Irihata stood up, breaking the momentum with a time-out.

"That number twelve… that was a really bold receive." Iwaizumi muttered annoyingly that his serve had been (somewhat) received by a puny first-year.

"That wast just luck, though!" Oikawa answered.

"Don't mind, you'll get the next point and stop his serves!" Kiku said, handing him a water bottle.

Iwaizumi looked down at her, still annoyed by his last spike being received, and still a little jealous of her initial reaction. He huffed, grabbing the water bottle.

"Of course we will!" He exclaimed.

"You're… um, not angry at me, are you?" She asked shyly.

"Why would I be?" He grumbled, lips around the water cup.

She glanced around hesitantly but before she could answer, he gave her back the water bottle and quickly put his hand over her head.

"You're kind to everyone and I know it. That's why I admire you so much. So there's nothing to be angry at. Except if you switch to the enemy's side, then I'll be really pissed off!" He said, matter-of-factly.

She looked up at him, eyes glowing in awe just as Oikawa couldn't help but pipe in:

"As long as you keep encouraging him, and that you have eyes _only_ for him, Iwa-chan won't hold it against you, Kiku-chan~!" He exclaimed.

"Oi!" Iwaizumi growled, getting embarrassed.

"How could I possibly look away from the Ace of my heart?" She said, sending her boyfriend a teasing glance.

He pouted as he flushed, pretending to be tougher than that but his best friend and girlfriend chuckled at the tender heart they knew he hid under his rough appearance. As soon as the time-out was over, though, everyone was focused once again. They would not let Karasuno and this first-year get any more points.

Unfortunately, after a net-in, Karasuno caught up with Aoba Jousai. Just two more points and they'd win this match.

A sudden fear that they might not win wrapped around Kiku's heart and she watched worriedly on the court as the team got more and more tense. It couldn't be their last match, not now, not like that. Not when they had their revenge to take, not when they deserved to go to Nationals…

"All right! Let's calm down, now!" Oikawa exclaimed, even if his words didn't seem to make much of a change in the players' hearts.

"I am calm." Iwaizumi answered.

"That one couldn't be helped." Hanamaki shrugged.

"We'll get the next one," Matsukawa agreed, tapping his hand.

"That's it, you guys! You guys are too great, you make your Captain sad!" Oikawa added for good-measure, trying to have the final word.

They walked back into their positions, ignoring his blabbering… and smiling. Thinking back on their three years with this guy, thinking back on all the time spent together, their friendship and common goals… and if it left a smile on their faces, even at the edge of defeat, then Kiku could only relax and smile as well. Victory or defeat, it was in their own hands and they wouldn't regret a single play.

But after a long rally, the ball blocked by Seijou was out.

"M-match point for Karasuno…" Kiku realized, fingers on her lips in disbelief.

She immediately glanced at Hajime, worried, but he was as serious as ever. Nothing would break his concentration. She admired him for that but… _but_ …

Another serve, received by Watari. Oikawa served for Iwaizumi's back attack – perhaps their last one, perhaps their last play together, perhaps–

The timing, the angle, the strength, everything was perfect. They were in perfect synchronization, like always and the pinch server couldn't receive Seijou's Ace's spike.

"All right!" Iwaizumi shouted, closing his fists tightly.

"Nice kill!"

Kiku sighed in relief, almost falling off her seat.

With this point, Seijou was back in the game and even if they were neck-to-neck with Karasuno, they caught up and didn't let them get the match. Just as they were equal and absolutely needed to get the point, it was Oikawa's turn to go for a serve. He had failed his last tries but it didn't scare him for putting so much power into his serve that Karasuno's brilliant libero couldn't get it and they _finally_ turned it around, turning it into a set point!

"Nice kill!" Kiku exclaimed, standing up, as excited as Mizoguchi.

"Damn it!" Karasuno's libero shouted.

The following point weighted so much, Kiku could hear her heart beating. Oikawa tossed the ball up, hit it strongly. It was received by Karasuno's Captain and as soon as Oikawa got the opportunity to toss, he trusted the ball to Iwaizumi who, without fail, got the point that allowed Aoba Jousai to win this set.

"All right!" He shouted, everyone surrounding him proudly.

While they were taking a break in-between the sets, a little more relaxed now that they knew they hadn't lost yet and would still have a chance to fight in a third set and win this match, Kiku made sure to distribute water bottles and towels to everyone.

"I almost thought for a moment that Karasuno might win…" Kiku murmured, worry and nervousness in her voice.

"We haven't won yet." Iwaizumi answered darkly, ready to go all out in the last set.

It didn't reassure her but she caught sight of the excited light shining in the players' eyes. Her gaze glanced at the banner of Aoba Jousai, the constant cheering for the team in the background.

"Rule the court." Kiku said.

Iwaizumi turned to her, lips falling open, surprised by her determined tone. Oikawa, and the rest of the team heard her as well and they all smirked, reinvigorated by their manager's words.

"As the queen wishes~!" Oikawa said as he turned towards the court, followed closely by his team, "Let's win this match!"

"OOSSS!"

The third set started as intensely as the match had been until now. If anything, everyone was more determined to grab victory. The only problem being that Kyoutani was making more and more misses and it was slowly throwing off the team's balance. Finally, he was forced to switch out, letting Kunimi back on the court.

"Calm down if you want to go back on the court," Irihata told him.

Angry, Kyoutani turned around and threw the panel with his number at Kiku who barely managed to receive it before storming towards the sidelines, everyone stepping away in fear to be on the receiving end of his anger. She looked at him worriedly but didn't have time to think of anything to do before Yahaba was the one to intervene: from afar she saw him talk with Kyoutani and then grab him and push him against the wall. She started standing up, afraid they'd get into a fight but they talked, harshly from the expressions on their faces. The others were keeping their backs away from the argument, making sure to not acknowledge it and bring trouble to the whole team if the referees noticed anything.

"Sit down," Mizoguchi said, eyes on the game, "They're only saying what needs to be said."

Kiku hesitated, but obeyed his words, sitting down and glancing occasionally at the players. Yahaba wasn't holding Kyoutani any longer, they were back with the rest of the boys, encouraging their teammates… and a new determination was shining in Kyoutani's eyes.

"I… suppose they did…" She agreed, still staring from afar.

Irihata noticed this as well and soon after, Kyoutani got another chance into the game. This time, he played well and the team surrounded him proudly. Kiku smiled, glad that it had turned out all right, especially when she noticed the gleam of joy in his eyes.

"I was worried that he might not get along with the rest of the team and it'd cause trouble once Iwaizumi-san and the rest of us would be gone but… he'll be all right. _They'll_ be all right." She said.

"They will be," Irihata confirmed with a smile.

It made Kiku a little sad to know that the third-years weren't needed anymore for Aoba Jousai's team to continue… but it was also reassuring to know that no matter what happened with this match, who would win and move to the next stage… the third-years could smile and move on with their lives without having any doubt or regret.

Kiku's attention was drawn back on the court when the number ten's voice resonated loud enough for her, and everyone else, to hear:

"But! When I'm here, you're invincible!" He exclaimed to Kageyama.

Everyone stared at him in awe, and Iwaizumi was the first to react:

"That's super awesome!" He said – and Kiku was willing to bet he'd try to use this sentence as well.

"Seriously…" Oikawa agreed, but with a hard voice, sensing the challenge Hinata and Kageyama were unknowingly sending them.

"All of your spikes kept getting picked up, so what are you talking about?" Kageyama replied without remorse.

Kiku had to hold back her laugh but her amusement died down when she noticed the look on Iwaizumi and Oikawa's faces. These were the looks that said _"we're accepting your challenge, and WE will be the strongest duo!"_ and she was glad to not be the one confronting them when their switches were turned on and they were ready to go all out. Because no matter who was challenging them, no one would beat Oikawa and Iwaizumi when it came to teamwork and invincibility.

But Karasuno got the following point anyway, because of an incredible move from the super quick's duo – Hinata flicked his wrist after a toss close to the net.

"He finally made a move, this number ten…" Iwaizumi grumbled, frowning darkly.

"Yeah… those two never cease to surprise me…" Oikawa agreed.

Iwaizumi turned towards him, about to say something to make him snap back into his usual confident self, not wanting him to get self-doubts because of Kageyama's genius _now_. But he didn't have to, because Oikawa looked straight into his eyes with a victorious smile:

"But… a volleyball team with six strong players is stronger."

They stared at each other, the same memories of what had happened three years ago going through their minds. The silent promise that had been sealed back then, and was being renewed today.

They wouldn't fail, they wouldn't lose. Because they had the strongest team.

"If you understand that, then it's good." Iwaizumi answered, turning back towards the net.

Oikawa couldn't see his expression but at this moment, Iwaizumi let out a sigh, his mask of unwavering confidence shaking just lightly. Not because he doubted the statement, but because he had realized that, even if Oikawa had been following this mantra for the last three years… he was finally flying with his own wings. He still wanted to win against Ushiwaka and go to Nationals, he still disliked Kageyama… but he wouldn't let it get to him any more. He wouldn't let it get in the way of his career. Which meant that Oikawa didn't need his pillar of strength anymore. He didn't need Iwaizumi anymore… and frankly, even if it had been what Iwaizumi had wished for all along… he wasn't sure how he really felt. Taking care of Oikawa, guiding him, supporting him, pushing him forward or pulling away backwards depending on what he needed – it had been his role for years, it was his way to focus and perhaps he had been relying on Oikawa just as much; but now that his best friend didn't need him anymore, that he'll go his own way… he felt at a loss.

But still, Hajime smiled. Because he didn't have to worry about him, he could focus on his own career and not rely solely on Oikawa. It was a relief, and it felt sad, but it was the best for both of them.

The whistle reminded him that they were in the middle of a match. He'll get emotional and reminisce on the past later. Right now, they had a match to win.

The point were played one after another, Karasuno catching up with Seijou and the rallies getting longer, both teams more desperate to not let the ball fall on their side. Aoba Jousai got into their 20s first, which was a boost for the morale of the team.

After a few more amazing plays, and thanks to Oikawa's incredible serve, Aoba Jousai was at match point. Just as Karasuno was one point away from catching up, they switched in their other setter. With a block with a sudden jump from the wild beast that was number ten, they marked another point, catching up with Aoba Jousai. This following point might weight the entire fate of the game, and with this other setter, they knew something might come but thankfully, he got the first touch. Karasuno went for a synchronized attack but no spiker hit the ball as Kageyama made a second-hand attack. Upon seeing it, Oikawa ran with all of his strength and jumped down to pick it up.

"You little brats!" He shouted, falling on the floor.

The ball landed right in front of him. He looked up at Kageyama, pure rage on his face as he glared at the first-year genius setter. Memories of everything he had been through, all the efforts he's put into training, into getting stronger, into his trauma and fears flashed in his mind, overwhelming him so suddenly he felt like chocking. For a moment, Tooru didn't breathe, gaze dark and hidden by his hair while Karasuno cheered, the sound resonating in his ears and rattling his soul, as if trying to open up the flow of his fears and doubts all over again.

"I know…" He whispered harshly, slowly standing up, almost painfully, "But… I won't lose." He said, staring right ahead of him, unwavering resoluteness set on his face.

One more point, and Karasuno would win this match.

A time-out was asked by Aoba Jousai, the players going back to their water bottles and towels.

"Damn it, it pisses me off!" Iwaizumi exclaimed – he had been close to go for the ball but hadn't reacted in time to receive this second-hand.

"That's definitely Oikawa's junior…" Hanamaki said, glancing quickly at Kageyama at the other side of the court.

"He's got a setter's disposition, staying confident in a moment like that." Yahaba muttered, helping out Kiku with distributing the towels and bottles, "I'd love some of that…"

Oikawa listened to their words, then remembered something from a few years ago, that a coach had told him, and just as much as Iwaizumi's support, it had guided him for a long time now…

" _Have you found the limit of your abilities? Even though your technique, body, and mentality aren't complete? People who are naturally better than you have been different from you ever since they were born. It's impossible to turn that around, no matter how hard you work, how well you strategize, or who your teammates are. You can complain about that, once you've actually done everything you possibly can. Rather than despairing and giving up because you're not a genius, believe that your strength is not limited to this, and to continue on the path ahead of you… It may be harsh to say so, but…"_

"…Today might be the day to grasp the chance to let your talent bloom." Oikawa continued outloud, slowly, carefully, _thoughtfully_ , grasping a new sense of these words as if he was hearing them for the first time all over again.

He paused, earning the attention of his teammates as he continued:

"Maybe tomorrow, the day after, or next year… maybe even when you're thirty. I'm not sure if physique has anything to do with it, but if you think it'll never come, it probably never will." He finished, confident steps taking him forward.

Kiku watched the team getting ready for the last line until victory or defeat, the third-years giving advices and instructions to their kouhai to be certain everyone was ready and knew what to do. She wanted to say something but she had nothing to say anymore. They knew she was supporting them, and she knew they could win.

They went back on court for the last few plays, a strange sense of calm guiding them for whatever would happen next.

Another serve from Karasuno's second setter, received by Iwaizumi, Kyoutani spiked the ball but it was received and a back attack from Karasuno's Ace almost got them the victory. Hanamaki saved the ball, but it was off. Oikawa ran after it, he pointed from across the court at his pillar, his Ace, a quick glance silently telling him _"it'll be yours"_. Iwaizumi got ready as Oikawa ran for the ball and jumped, tossing while turning around. Everyone's eyes widened, mouths falling open. A super-long and fast set-up from across the court. Iwaizumi jumped to spike it just as Oikawa fell into a pile of stuff, immediately getting up and sliding down before running desperately back on the court.

 _Talent is something you make bloom! Instinct is something you polish!_

 _Right on!_ He realized with satisfaction when Iwaizumi's hand hit the ball at the perfection.

But Karasuno's Captain received the ball, when it was off, Mizoguchi jumped in happiness, Kiku following his example, clenching tightly her notebook. But their relief was short-lived when the ball was saved and went back towards the court.

 _Six who are strong are stronger!_

Karasuno's Ace spiked it in the air, it flew over the net and Watari got it, but it went right into the net. Everyone's hearts stopped beating for a moment when it rolled and almost fell down but Kyoutani saved it. Kindaichi spiked it past Kageyama's arms and it hit the other's setter face but it was in the air once again.

"Give it to me!" Hinata shouted, started a run up.

 _Come on, come at me with your ultimate weapon, Tobio!_

Kageyama ran under the ball while Iwaizumi, Kindaichi and Kyoutani jumped to block the number ten. The toss was sent towards Hinata who spiked it. It hit the blockers' arms and then flew. Oikawa saw it, a step aside, his arms advancing forward and already, the ball was hitting his arms. It bounced off and flew behind him. His eyes followed it desperately as it fell on the floor. It bounced a little, no one had had time to react, no one had been behind to save it.

Silence.

A long, agonizingly long silence even though it didn't last any longer than any other silence on court, even though they already knew the result – it only made it all the more painful to wait for the final whistle. It didn't even resonate, covered by Karasuno's ecstatic cheering and the crowd's shocked screams.

Some fell down on the floor, others just remained standing and Oikawa slowly stood up, still staring at the still ball. If only he had moved a little further, if only he had read the move better, if only–

The whistle indicating the end of the match resonated and a few steps around reminded Aoba Jousai that they had to move. Oikawa turned around and saw Kageyama at the other side of the net, glowing in his ecstatic joy to have won, sharing this happiness with his teammates. Even if everyone moved to line up, Oikawa walked in the opposite direction, catching the eyes of Kageyama who looked up at him, separated by the net.

They stared at each other for a while. Even though there were many untold words and still bad blood between them, everything they had needed to express was known to the other.

Oikawa wished he would have felt at peace, now that he had confronted Kageyama twice, that he knew his own strength and his, that everything that had needed to be done _was_ done. But he wasn't. He wasn't feeling at peace, the only reason why he wasn't breaking yet was because reality hadn't caught up yet, because he wasn't satisfied with this outcome. It wasn't supposed to be like this, he hadn't worked so hard for it to end like this…!

Face scrunched in a mix of disgust and bitterness – at Kageyama's genius, Ushiwaka's power and mostly, at himself, Oikawa spoke up in a stern voice:

"Now we're at one loss, one win. Don't get on your high horse."

Kageyama's brows furrowed as he answered:

"I won't."

They turned away from each other to join their teammates. They bowed down, thanking their opponents for this match, and shook hands before going to see the coaches, not really hearing whatever Karasuno's coaches had to say. Then they went to Aoba Jousai's coaches, too ashamed to face them in the eyes when they had had so much expectations for them. What would they say? They had lost – against Karasuno! They wouldn't get another chance, their competition was finished now.

"Say what you will, but the results are what you see. There's no way your disappointment will subside. I'm sure there are even some plays you regret. With that in mind, let me just say something…" Irihata started.

Kiku, eyes filled with tears, glanced at Iwaizumi who was keeping his face scrunched up, holding back the emotions and the tears. His fists and jaw were tight and he was trembling. It wasn't just the end of the competition for him, or the other third-years. It was the end of his high-school volleyball career, their last match together, their last match with this team, their last chance to go to Nationals… gone.

Irihata took a deep breath.

"You fought well."

The tears spilled over, and they started crying, trying to cover their eyes and hold back their sobs, without luck.

Hajime closed his eyes tightly, letting tears roll down his cheeks but before Kiku could move towards him, Oikawa's strangely calm voice resonated:

"Let's go greet the people in the stands."

His team moved automatically towards the crowd that had supported them for this match.

Hajime's steps slowed down, as he thought back on his last spike. The timing had been perfect, despite the toss being sent from the other side of the court and yet… _and yet…!_

 _How can I be the Ace when I couldn't even make that?!_ He thought bitterly, angry at himself for not being strong enough to get this _one point_ that might have changed _everything_.

He bit on his lower lip, tears and pearls of sweat rolling down his face. Suddenly, his back was slammed by Oikawa. Then by Hanamaki. Then Matsukawa. No words needed. Just unwavering faith in their Ace. Unwavering faith in the Ace Oikawa had had his entire life.

Ashamed of his tears, of his defeat, of letting down his teammates, Hajime wiped away his tears with his jersey. His teammates and friends were here, supporting him and counting on him despite everything. He couldn't believe it had been their last match, and they might have lost, but at the very least… they had played with everything they had, and it had been a glorious defeat.

He joined the rest of the team. Oikawa glanced to make sure he was here and as all right as he could be then they all looked up at the stands.

"Thank you very much!" He exclaimed, bowing down.

"Thank you very much!" His teammates echoed while they were applauded by the crowd.

The third-years remained a little longer like that, bowed down and branding this moment, this feeling into their memories.

 _Rule the Court._

It was their final bow.

They moved to stretch and get dressed. They got their bags and exited the courts, the only one staying back being Oikawa. The moment he'll step away from the court, it'll be all over. He stared firmly at the scene of Karasuno's triumph, then turned around to leave without another glance.

Kiku hurried after the boys' long legs, taking them away from the courts. She caught up with Haijme, glancing up at him sadly but not knowing what to say. He glanced very quickly at her but immediately looked away and went to a stop, glancing around. When he didn't see Oikawa, he stopped, letting his bag down. They all went to a stop, waiting for the ones who went to the toilets and were scattered around the gymnasium.

"Are you…"

Kiku's voice broke, knowing very well he wasn't okay. He didn't say anything as she reached and softly tugged at his shirt.

"…I need to find Oikawa… where did he go…" He mumbled, pushing himself off the wall to find his friend.

Kiku tightened her lips as he tried to step away but her arm surrounded his waist, stopping him there.

"You… don't have to take care of him. You have the right to take time for yourself too." She said in a low voice, "You're hurting too…" She added, voice breaking once again.

She hated seeing him like this. Shoulders down, lost gaze, wet trails of tears on his cheeks, reddened eyes, body tense and trembling from holding back his frustrated sadness… He shook even more against her arm. She looked up just as he closed his eyes tightly, tears shining in the corner of his eyes. Hanamaki and Matsukawa looked away, letting a few more bitter tears roll down. Everyone ignored their Ace breaking a little, because they shared the same feelings.

Kiku slowly reached up for his shoulders and pulled down Hajime, caressing his hair. He took a few shaky breaths in, tears wetting the shirt on her shoulder as he silently cried, holding onto her with trembling hands.

A first-year went to look for Oikawa who gave him some instruction. Then he turned around and froze, face-to-face with Ushijima Wakatoshi. After some wary eying, Oikawa decided to ignore him but as he walked past him, the Super Ace spoke up:

"This is a warning, Oikawa. Don't choose the wrong path again. You chose the wrong path. There was a place where you could have realized your full potential. Because of your worthless pride, you didn't choose it."

There was a moment of silence where Oikawa thought deeply about these words that hit a little too closely his heart to remain calm. Ushijima thought for a short while that he might just ignore him and keep walking but then, the setter spoke up:

"So you're trying to tell me that I should have gone to Shiratorizawa instead of Seijou, right?"

He paused quickly, putting his hands on his hips as he thought back, bitterly, at the results of the day.

"No team is guaranteed victory."

"If nothing else, I can say that my team is the strongest one here." Ushijima answered with unwavering confidence.

Oikawa stared at him with wide eyes, not believing the nerve he possessed to say that.

"AH! I see you're still laughably confident!" He exclaimed accusingly.

He closed his eyes quickly, smiling a little sadly.

"Worthless pride, uh?" He repeated in a low voice, "That's true…"

Silence then he opened his eyes, staring at his rival:

"Listen up, Ushijima, I never thought my decision was wrong, and my volleyball hasn't ended at all. Don't you _ever_ forget this worthless pride of mine!" He said in a strong, hissing voice, his features twisted by the raw determination shining in his eyes.

Ushijima didn't react to it, knowing very well how prideful this man could be. Oikawa then shrugged, relaxing a little now that his slightly threatening promise of not giving up was pronounced:

"Oh, yeah. If you keep all your attention on me, you're going to get stabbed from the direction you least expect."

"What do you mean?"

"My kouhai isn't smart, and isn't even _close_ to my level yet… But now that he's not by himself, he's strong." He explained with a hard gaze and challenging smirk, "When crows flock, they might even kill a huge, white eagle."

Ushijima frowned as Oikawa walked away, smile dropping and even if his shoulders remained relaxed and his walk calm, his hands in his pockets trembled and he clenched his fists.

Once everyone was in the bus, they went back to Aoba Jousai, an unusual quietness filling the way back. Everyone felt a little numb from the exhaustion, and the unexpected defeat was still difficult to wrap their minds around. They had a reunion with the coaches, the third-years feeling even heavier than before then the whole team went to eat ramen together. Even Kyoutani joined, despite leaving first, followed closely by Kunimi.

"Kiku," Irihata called after the coaches had paid for the boys' well-deserved meal, "I'll drive you back to your parents. I'll wait for you outside."

Kiku hesitated, glancing at the boys who were half-crying, half-eating, and trying to forget their bitterness with an overwhelming amount of bad jokes. She stared at Hajime who was currently trying to help out Kindaichi who was still crying and sobbing. She wanted to be here for him, for the whole team, but she also knew that Hajime, and no one else, really needed her help or comfort. They had been defeated years after years and always got back on their feet. They would do it again. She had been their manager for only a few months, it didn't mean much but… she just knew that right now, they needed team-time. The team they had been for the last three years.

Waltzing quickly towards Hajime, she patted his shoulder.

"My uncle wants to drive me home, do you um, need a ride? Or do you want me to stay with you?" She asked.

"Ah, uh…"

Hajime hesitated, glancing around, then at Oikawa, then back at her. His eyes were still a little glossy after all his tears.

"It's okay, you should go home. I'll make sure no one makes a mess here. I'll call you tonight."

She stared at him firmly but he avoided her gaze. He wanted to be alone with his team, with his best friend and setter, with himself. Kissing his forehead, she made a sound of agreement before leaving, saying goodbye at whoever would hear her between their sniffles. Hajime watched her leave before focusing back on the conversation going on, even if no one really maintained a conversation other than a bittersweet recall of the day's match.

By the time everyone was done with their food, the second and first years departed and the third-years went their own way, talking to each other a littler longer, to try for the end of the day to be later.

"Cheer up, Hajime!" Yuda Kaneo exclaimed, a fellow third-year, "The crease between your brows is incredible!"

"I know…!" He mumbled, but being told that only made him frown even _more_.

"Sawamura-kun's receives, monk cut-kun's follow ups, beard-kun's spikes, Watacchi's receives, Kyouken-chan's folows ups, Tobio's direct tosses, Kindaichi's blocks…" Yuda continued, remembering every play, "Everyone gave it 120% at that time."

It almost cheered Hajime up. Almost. But as Ace of the team, as the pillar of the team, he shouldn't have given just 120% of himself, he should have given 200% but now, it was too late and he could only bear with his regrets.

"And when you add them up, Karasuno was just a _bit_ higher at that moment!" Oikawa said, frowning darkly at the memory, _"Just a bit_ , all right!"

Oikawa then turned towards his Ace:

"But rather than that, you should be praising yourself for hitting that toss perfect timing, Iwa-chan." He said, proud they had managed to hit so perfectly such a set-up.

There was a moment where Iwaizumi pondered this, but then he frowned and after a deep breath, let it all out – everything he hadn't said until now, that they all knew he felt, but he needed to say it out loud to acknowledge it:

"The fact that the toss and timing were perfect makes it that much more frustrating!" He exclaimed, trying hard not to let his voice break.

"That's true!" Oikawa exclaimed, startling him, before slamming his own hand against his chest, the sensation burning against his skin even through the shirt, "But _I_ should be the one feeling down since I was the last one to react and couldn't return it! _I'm_ the one who's frustrated, okay!"

Annoyed that he'd belittle himself so much, when he had reacted more than he did, Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa and pushed him away, no one really minding their usual banter. It was nice to see their Captain and Vice-Captain letting out the steam and be the same as they always were.

"What are they competing about?" Mattsun asked.

"Oh, well, same old, same old." Hanamaki said with a shrug.

"…But, y'know…" Matsukawa continued, an amused smile on his face, "Weren't we heading home?"

The group of third-years all looked up at the gymnasium they had instinctively gone back to. They didn't really think about anything as they entered it, put up everything as it always was then started training, improvising a match together.

"Shit, the ramen! I'm gonna hurl!" Hanamaki whined after a while, doing too much exercise after eating too much ramen.

"My sides are killing me!" Iwaizumi added.

"Quit going all out with your serves, Oikawa!" Matsukawa scolded after a failed receive.

They continued their usual shenanigan until they felt too sick and too tired to keep playing.

"Let's start cleaning up slowly before the patrol comes," Iwaizumi said.

Before they could seriously clean up, Oikawa looked at them before speaking up:

"…Can I have your attention for a second, guys?" He requested.

Immediately understanding his intentions, Hanamaki tried to keep him from opening his mouth:

"Oi, knock it off! We're going out of our way to finish things off on a high note! Let's just end this peacefully!"

"SHUT IT!" Oikawa shouted, startling him.

Hanamaki froze then glanced at the others and they all waited for their Captain's words. Oikawa looked at each and every one of them before taking a deep breath, tears filling his eyes. He thought back on the day they first entered this gymnasium as intimidated but determined first-years. He thought back on the hours and hours of practice and training they spent there. He thought back on the friendships they created, and the bonds they deepened over the years.

" _You chose the wrong path."_

His lips trembled, but a smile widened on his face. Regardless of the results and how many regrets and bitterness he still held in his heart… how could this possibly be the wrong path?

"Thanks for the past three years!" He exclaimed, flows of tears rolling down his cheeks.

His teammates and friends all teared up and it was their turn to start crying again.

"…What'd I tell you…" Hanamaki muttered in a broken voice.

They cried and cleaned up the gymnasium. They wiped their tears and smiled, thinking back on the memories they had from this place.

On their way back home, slowly walking under the moonlight, not having anything to say, Oikawa and Iwaizumi thought back on everything that had happened and they had done today…

"You probably won't be happy until you become an old man." Iwaizumi suddenly said.

"What? What kind of curse are you placing on me all of a sudden?!" Oikawa exclaimed, not understanding what he was trying to say.

"Regardless of whatever tournament you win, you'll live chasing volleyball your whole life without being perfectly content, because you're a real troublesome guy." Iwaizumi continued calmly.

"Don't stick an insult in there at a time like this!"

Iwaizumi ignored him to finish:

"But keep moving forward without hesitation."

Oikawa glanced at him as he went to a stop. Then Iwaizumi smiled one of these rare, honest smiles and for once, everything he said came from the heart:

"You're my partner that I can be proud of and a really incredible setter. Even if our teams change from now on, _that_ won't change." Iwaizumi said with a proud smile to have seen his best friend become such an amazing player, "But when we compete, I'll take you down!" He added with a determined frown.

Oikawa stared at him, stunned by his honest words. Even if he knew Iwa-chan thought of him as his partner and an incredible setter, just as he thought of the same about his Ace, it was the first time he was saying the words outloud. Perhaps they had never expressed it before because before there has never been an end to _them_ – but _now_ … Now this was the end of a part of their life and a new chapter to get to. They won't be on the volleyball club of Aoba Jousai any longer and starting next year, they'll play in different prefectures. For the first time in their lives they will play with different players.

"…I wouldn't want it any other way." Oikawa answered.

They stared at each other, thinking back on everything they had lived together. Watching volleyball matches on tv as children, learning to play volleyball in the park, Kitagawa Daiichi, Aoba Jousai… For as long as they could remember, they had been together and they had played together. It felt strange, imagining it won't be the case any longer…

Like they had done so many times before, they lifted up their fists and bumped them together.

…But they would _always_ be partners, the King and his Ace.

* * *

 _The last part witht he 3rd eyars is from a bonus chapter from the manga + it will be in the movie for Karasuno VS Seijou. I hope you enjoyed this final, glorious match of Aoba Jousai! I can't bleieve we have to tell them goodbye, i'm stil not okay with this... There is a beautiful amv on youtube called "Final Bow", watch it, it's definitely worth it! ;)_

 _Also, with the Sping High arc (practically) over, I'm going to go back to posting on Sowlmates and try to keep the two stories' chapter posting rhythm more or less similar! :)_

 _In a few weeks in the QV's story, there is the National team training camp which is Sowlmates' next arc that I'm posting right after this one, so, you can see more of Oikawa, Iwaizumi AND Ushijima~! ;)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : TURNING POINT_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	55. Turning Point

_Sorry for not posting this chapter earlier but I was really busy and tired, and chapter 56 took me forever to write! I'll try to post more often, btu it depends on how much work I've got in real life._

 _Thank youu to eevryone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **Aquafin** : When I watch the match I always get excited because KARASUNO WON! But then I see Seijou and my heart breaks and I don't know if I should be ha^ppy or sad. Thank you very much, i hope you'll keep liking this chapter~! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER LV : Turning Point

" _If you fall, I'll pick you up, if not, I will lay down with you."_

— **Julio Cortázar**

" _I'm so busy being strong I forgot I could be fragile."_

— **Unknown**

" _People say I love you all the time - when they say, 'take an umbrella, it's raining,' or 'hurry back,' or even 'watch out, you'll break your neck.' There are hundreds of ways of wording it - you just have to listen for it, my dear."_

— **John Patrick, The Curious Savage**

" _Compassion was the most important, perhaps the sole law of human existence."_

— **Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Idiot**

" _Somehow you just know the exact perfect thing to say and do to make everything alright. You are my guiding light, my pillar of strength, my protector from the enemy that is myself."_

— **Ranata Suzuki**

" _Sometimes the worst thing that happens to you, the thing you think you can't survive…it's the thing that makes you better than you used to be."_

— **Jennifer Weiner, Fly Away Home**

" _I am struck by how sharing our weakness and difficulties is more nourishing to others than sharing our qualities and successes."_

— **Jean Vanier**

" _We hold our dreams and ideals close to our hearts, where the promises are made to the future generations."_

― **John Rachel, A Long Night's Journey Into Daylight**

" _A great teacher plants the seeds of greatness in the minds of future generations."_

― **Debasish Mridha**

" _Every turning point in a person's life isn't reached by luck, they choose to be successful, they know what it takes to be there, they can do what is expected of them to do, they do not show trepidation about the requirements needed to be on top"_

― **Michael Bassey Johnson, Classic Quotations From The Otherworlds**

Kiku knocked at the Iwaizumi apartment. Hajime had told her that he probably wouldn't go to the finals because Oikawa didn't want to go. She had given the two boys some time the previous night, then this morning, but now her worry was too much and she _needed_ to be here for her boyfriend. If he didn't want of her, then he'll tell her so and she'll come back later.

The door opened on Umeko who blinked in surprise to see Kiku there.

"Kiku-chan! What a surprise, I would have expected you to go with Hajime at the match."

Kiku blinked in confusion before opening her mouth:

"But… he told me he wouldn't go… I-I see… t-then…"

Umeko hesitated, seeing the conflicted emotion on the girl's face. Kiku was wondering whether or not she should go at the gymnasium right now, would she make it in time, would she–

"The match should end soon, why don't you come in and wait for Hajime to be back?" Umeko said with a kind smile.

Relieved, Kiku nodded before entering the apartment.

"Umeko obaa-san!"

Hearing a child's voice, Kiku approached curiously and saw two children, who must have been around three and five. They looked so much alike it was obvious they were siblings.

"Who is that?" The older one asked, staring at Kiku.

"It's Kiku, she's waiting for Hajime so be nice to her, okay?" She told the children who immediately turned curious eyes towards the high-schooler, "I'm going to make some tea."

"A-ah, t-thank you…"

Umeko disappeared and Kiku turned towards the two children. At once, they got up and ran to her, hugging her legs then tugging at her hands.

"Ne, ne! Are you Hajime onii-chan's _girlfriend?_ " The older one asked excitedly, obviously he had learned this word not long ago and didn't seem to totally understand everything it implied.

Kiku couldn't help but blush before answering with a smile:

"Y-yes, I-I am… w-who are you… um…"

Her voice trailed off and he spoke up once again:

"I'm Ren! And it's my brother, Shun!" He introduced himself, jumping up and down.

"Sorry, they have a tendency of invading private space, but they're adorable, aren't they?" Umeko said when she came back with a tray of tea and biscuits.

"A-ah, y-yes!" Kiku answered, flushing in embarrassment.

The two kids chuckled and Shun wrapped his little arms around her leg. Kiku knew that Umeko was working as a professional nanny in an agency that took care of young children. Hajime had explained to her that sometimes, she took care of children at home.

"Hajime onii-chan told us about you!" Ren continued happily, making Umeko chuckle while Kiku blushed even more, "He said you were his girlfriend because you're beautiful and kind! He also said he wants to have babies with you!"

Kiku startled, turning even redder if it was possible while Umeko shook her head in amusement:

"He never said that, you cornered him into admitting he wanted children someday. He never mentioned you specifically Kiku-chan, and you're still young, so don't worry." She cleared up.

"A-ah… I see…"

"Do you want babies too, Kiku onee-chan?" Ren continued, eyes sparkling.

"U-um, y-yes, s-someday…" She answered.

"Hajime onii-chan will be happy!"

"Wait– I-I didn't mean…"

But Ren didn't listen to her. Kiku glanced in panic at Umeko, realizing that she had just admitted wanting to have children in front of her boyfriend's mother. She didn't seem to misunderstand it though but saw the panic in the girl's eyes:

"Why don't you go play with your new toy while I have some tea with Kiku-chan?" Umeko proposed to Ren.

His attention immediately riveted back to his superhero toy, he ran to it but Shun decided to keep clinging to Kiku. She hesitated before leaning down and taking him in her arms. He seemed even happier and she sat in front of Umeko, putting down the little child on her laps. Umeko poured some tea while Kiku gave Shun a cookie he started munching on.

"So, how do you feel?" Umeko asked Kiku with a smile.

She stared at her, not understanding why she seemed so sad.

"After yesterday's match… Hajime was really shaken up. I didn't push him to talk but I had hoped… I hope that he'll confine in you." Umeko continued.

Kiku distracted herself from her disappointment by taking her cup of tea and breathing on it to cool it.

"It… was unexpected… but they put their all into it. They didn't give up and kept fighting until the end. I'm proud of them for going so far and doing so much but… they're obviously all disappointed because they didn't go as far as they usually did and mostly…"

"Ushijima, mm?"

Kiku nodded, putting down the cup. Shun looked up at her, probably sensing her sadness. He listened closely, even if he might not understand everything that was being said.

"Oikawa-san and Hajime wanted so badly to win against Ushijima… They wanted their revenge but it was taken from them because Karasuno won. I can't even imagine how they must feel deep down…"

Umeko remained silent just as the door opened.

"I'm home…" Hajime said from afar.

His ladies waited as he entered the living-room, blinking upon seeing Kiku there.

"Kiku…" He said, eyes slightly widened.

"She came because she worried for you – what were you thinking, not warning her you were going to the match?" Umeko scolded, even if her voice was light.

"U-um, s-sorry…" He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hajime onii-chan!"

He just had time to brace himself when he heard hurried footsteps and Ren jumped into his arms. Hajime immediately wrapped his arms around him, smiling despite himself.

"Hey, little one. I didn't know you were coming today."

Shun wiggled and Kiku helped him down as he ran to Hajime who shook his hair.

"It's nice seeing you guys," he said with a smile.

Kiku observed him from afar, seeing how tired he seemed. He mustn't have slept much, or well. But he was still smiling with the children. She found herself smiling as well, unaware of Umeko's stare on her and her knowing smile, while Ren and Shun happily talked with Hajime.

"Ren, Shun, we said we'd go to the park, remember?" Umeko finally said, standing up and gathering the empty tea cups.

"Aaaww, but I wanna stay with Hajime onii-chan and Kiku onee-chan!" Ren whined, holding onto Hajime's hand tightly.

"Hajime still hasn't eaten lunch, and they need to talk. You'll see them when we'll be back." Umeko continued while Kiku helped her out bringing everything to the kitchen.

Ren whined a little more but Shun tugged at Hajime's hand to attract his attention:

"Hajime onii-chan, do the thing! Do the thing!" He asked with a huge smile.

Kiku stared from afar while Hajime bent down with a smirk:

"Again? don't you ever get tired of it? You little monsters," he said jokingly, making them laugh.

He grabbed both children, lifting them up over his shoulders until they could hold onto his biceps, hanging from there, obviously having the fun of their lives. He chuckled as well, walking around so they'd scream and laugh.

"He's good with children, mm?" Umeko said, startling Kiku.

"A-ah, u-um! Y-yes!" She exclaimed, flushing.

"He's always had younger children to take care of thanks to my job. I didn't realize that being an older brother to all of them had forced Hajime to mature so much so young." She continued, looking a little melancholic.

"I think… it's in his nature to take care of others… he wouldn't have taken care of Oikawa for so long otherwise." Kiku answered with a smile.

Umeko smiled, silently agreeing to it. She readied the two children for their walk to the park before turning towards the teenagers:

"We should be back around four. Hajime I don't suppose you ate lunch but eat something, will you?" His mother said.

He nodded and after ruffling the children's hair, Umeko and the two little monsters went off. Kiku looked up at her boyfriend:

"You haven't eaten since the ramen yesterday?" She asked worriedly, wriggling her hands together.

"I… came home late and after my bath, I was too tired…" He explained sheepishly, "I wasn't hungry this morning either."

"I'll cook you something very quickly!" She exclaimed, hurrying to the kitchen.

He followed her slowly, watching her check what she could cook before finding some leftovers with a message from his mother telling him to warm it up. Before she could do anything though, Hajime walked to her and hugged her from behind. Kiku froze before relaxing at his touch. He closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh as he hid his face into her neck.

"They won…" He said, voice smothered because of his lips against her skin, "Karasuno won."

Kiku's heart missed a beat in shock. It was so shocking to know that Karasuno, who weren't exceptionally known nor had more than a couple of strong players, had managed to win against Aoba Jousai. But winning against _Shiratorizawa?_ That was…

Slowly, she looked up just as Hajime straightened up, but he didn't stop hugging her.

"What is it we did wrong during all these years?" He asked in a low, hard voice, on the edge of breaking.

He frowned to himself, eyes closing as he fought back the bitter tears once again, recalling the years of hard work and practice, spent refining their skills, getting stronger, just with the aim to beat Shiratorizawa and go to Nationals. They were the most complete team of the prefecture. They had the best player of the prefecture on their team. What was it that they had lacked that Karasuno had that gave them the chance to win against the ultimate champions Shiratorizawa?

Kiku's hands went over his, squeezing hard his hands until he'd look at her. There was a moment when he tried to hold it together, silently asking her to answer his question, trying to _understand_ but then… his green eyes just showed how sad, disappointed, and guilty he truly felt after their defeat. It was like reality catching up to hit him in the face hard. The previous day they had had their first frustrated tears, their first busts of bitter anger but after getting up to not go to the finals, going anyway, seeing the match, seeing Karasuno win… it just kept being one slap after another. But what made Hajime crack his mask wasn't just the realization of their defeat and what it meant, it was Kiku's compassionate eyes. They didn't need any word to express and understand each other.

 _It's okay, you can cry, you can be angry, you can talk or you can stay silent. I'm here for you._ She quietly conveyed to him, just with a tender gaze and a touch of her hands on his.

So he remained silent, but hid his face against her neck once again, taking the time to have his senses invaded by Kiku. Her touch, her warmth, her scent, her comfort. The sense of intimacy and reassurance she provided just for being here for him was enough.

Once he felt a little less at a loss, more stable thanks to Kiku's presence, he pulled away and with an encouraging smile, she made him eat something. Then she pulled him to his bedroom and they laid down, Hajime dozing off when she hugged the sadness away. Maybe he cried a little and tried to hide it in his pillows, but she kissed his forehead and repeated it was okay and he didn't have to hide anything from her. So he cried, and he hugged her, and he slept, and he talked about his bitterness, then cried again, then hugged her again… and finally, he felt a little more at peace thanks to Kiku.

On Monday it was almost a regular school-day, if it weren't for the amount of people telling the volleyball club to "not mind" or that "it was sad" – Iwaizumi didn't even want to look in the direction of the fangirls who had surrounded Oikawa with gifts of various sorts for his loss. Monday was normal but Tuesday…

Hajime woke up at the same hour as usual, just out of habit, even if from now on there wouldn't be morning practice anymore for the third-years. He tried doing something else but in the end, he still went for a run, meeting Oikawa there. They started running in silence, going the same way, doing the same stretches, having the exact same timing as they've had these last few years. It almost didn't feel like anything has changed but deep down, they knew that from now on, it would be different. No more practice with the team, unless the first and seconds years needed to practice with their senpai. No more practice in Aoba Jousai, they'd practice in the local gymnasium unless the coaches allowed them to go to more practices. No more brilliant setter and accomplished Ace, no more Captain and Vice-Captain…

Going to school was just as silent, which was getting stranger and stranger for Oikawa until Iwaizumi glanced at him, worriedly. But the setter didn't show any sadness or regret or anything. He was just… silent.

"Yes, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa finally asked without looking away when he felt his friend's intense gaze on him for a long time.

Iwaizumi startled and immediately looked away, trying to find a topic of conversation to avoid the inevitable words but…

"You're okay?" He asked.

"…I'm okay, I suppose. And you?" Oikawa answered after a thoughtful pause.

"…I'm okay. I suppose." He mumbled, looking down.

There was silence again.

"I know what you're thinking but I'm not going to break or anything," Oikawa continued, finally looking at his friend, "I'm sad that our time on Aoba Jousai's team is ending but I'm happy for everything that happened when we were on it. As for the future… we can only look forward to it!"

Iwaizumi stared at him before smiling in agreement. Now that the words had been said, they both felt a little lighter and Oikawa started talking excitedly, to the point Iwaizumi almost regretted the silence from a moment ago:

"We have the training camp for the National team in a few weeks! Then we'll have our finals, and we'll have to choose where to go next year! It's kinda exciting, right? We have lots of things to do but it's also stressing to try and figure out our lives! Aaaah, I'm impatient to get started! By the way, I know you're wishing to stay in Sendai but do you know what Kiku-chan will do next year?" He asked suddenly, turning towards Iwaizumi.

Hajime blinked before looking down, shoulders tensing a little.

"I… don't know… we haven't talked about it yet." He admitted, knowing that Oikawa could guess that both Hajime and Kiku were afraid to start the topic.

"I see…"

"Have you decided what university you'll go to? For studying beside training for the National team?" Iwaizumi asked, tone a little scolding.

Oikawa startled guiltily, looking away and shook his head.

"No… I… think I might consider something else."

Iwaizumi stopped in his tracks, eyes wide.

"You'll consider something else than the National team?! Who are you and what have you done with Oikawa?!"

"NO! You're wrong! Something else than university!" Oikawa answered.

It took Iwaizumi by surprise and he stared at him curiously, silently asking him to explain.

"I… met a guy the other day who gave me his name. He said he was working for an artists agency and they're looking for male models. It's in Tokyo."

Hajime kept his eyes wide open, opening and closing his lips but before he could say anything, Oikawa turned towards him and spoke up again:

"I know what you're thinking! That it's stupid and ridiculous and that I'm not even good-looking enough for that! But I checked it out and it's a real thing and he didn't fake his name or anything! And… I don't know what to study at the university… Until I figure it out, it'll be a good option for me to settle there and get some money out of it and… and… I'm still thinking about it but…"

"…It's not completely stupid. You seem to have actually thought about it – another option besides volleyball and that's all I wish for you. But _model_ … that's just as risky as being a pro athlete, Oikawa. Are you sure it's the right thing to do?" Iwaizumi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's only temporary. Until I find whatever I want to do besides volleyball once I'll be old and useless and that my career will be over because Tobio-chan has come to steal my place on the team." He answered with a shrug, a hinge of mockery at the end.

Iwaizumi sighed before shrugging awkwardly:

"Well, if that's what you want to do… Have you told your family yet?"

Oikawa made a sour face, which was answer enough.

"Only my sister who is in Tokyo, she kinda supports me, I guess. My parents don't know yet but yesterday they gave me a talk about choosing carefully the university and that I should consider this or that or whatever they think has a name complicated enough for it to be worthy of me…"

His parents supported him in whatever he wanted to do, but they never hid that they'd prefer if Tooru chose a more careful career than something risky like volleyball, especially after his knee injury. They knew it was his passion and he had the potential to become pro and they would support him but like any parent, they worried for his future and they wanted the best for him. Go to a good university, have good grades, get a good job that will pay his rents – that was what they wanted for him. Volleyball as a career left them with slightly tight smiles, but they supported him. If he were to tell them he was only balancing the rest of his life with something as fancy as modeling, it might throw them off completely. They might freak out, they will _definitely_ freak out.

"Well, if Aiko onee-san supports you they might let you do it." Iwaizumi said with a shrug.

"They didn't like nee-chan going to Tokyo to become a pilot but they changed their mind when she ended best of her promotion – each and every one of the Oikawa are amazingly talented, after all~!"

"Where is she now?" He asked curiously, knowing that as an airplane pilot, Oikawa's older sister was always traveling around the world.

"Her instagram has pictures of some Italian cities so I suppose that's where she is?" Oikawa said with a shrug.

They arrived at school and Hajime caught sight of Kiku who was putting her bicycle away all the while bickering with Makki. His steps slowed down a little until Oikawa smiled at him:

"You should talk with Kiku-chan and know where she'll be next year. With luck you might even move into a place together~!"

"D-don't be ridiculous!" Hajime exclaimed, blushing.

"You don't plan on living with your parents all your life, right?"

"That's not the problem here!"

He looked away in embarrassment, making Oikawa chuckle.

"Oikawa-san!"

"Oikawa-kuun~!"

Suddenly surrounded by his fangirls, Iwaizumi quickly escaped the growing crowd to find his girlfriend. She immediately lit up when she saw him, suddenly ignoring Hanamaki while Hajime kissed her cheek and took her hand in his.

The day went on in a numbing casualness, everything was the same as usual but Kiku could tell that Hajime wasn't into any of it. She could only imagine the rest of the third-years of the volleyball club feeling just as numb. At the end of the school day, though, while she was calmly putting everything into her bag, Hajime stood up suddenly, throwing his bag over his shoulder like he always did.

"Let's go to practice," he told her.

Kiku hesitated, blinking in confusion before Hajime seemed to realize what he had just said. He looked around, a heavy, sad silence falling on them.

"But… there isn't any more practice anymore for us…" Kiku murmured.

"…Starting tomorrow only. Come on, it's… the last day." He said, showing his hand.

She wasn't certain what he was getting at but she stood up, taking his hand and following him. She didn't have her manager outfit but the third-years players must have been prepared because they went into the changing-room. She realized that Hajime still had the key and that the first and second-years were still following his and Oikawa's lead. She waited for the team outside of the gymnasium, her uncle and Mizoguchi arriving before the boys.

"Oh, you're here Kiku-chan," Mizoguchi said with a smile.

"U-um, I- um, t-the boys are changing… even the third-years…" She said.

"Ah yes, we have to choose the Captain and Vice-Captain for the second-years." Mizoguchi said with a nod.

It left a bad taste in her mouth but she didn't say anything. She followed the coaches and even if she didn't have her outfit of manager, she helped as she usually did until the team arrived.

"Gather up!" Oikawa called, everyone immediately surrounding him.

He looked at his fellow third-years who smiled to him encouragingly, then he turned towards the first and second-years with a smile of his own:

"First and second-years, from now on, you'll be the ones who will have to carry Aoba Jousai's playstyle."

Some looked down, others just tried to keep at bay all of their emotions. It was hard saying goodbye to the senpais they admired so much. Oikawa paused before nodding, a little to himself:

"You're strong. All of you. Next year, you'll have the strength to win against Karasuno, Shiratorizawa – _all_ of these teams. You'll beat them and you'll go to Nationals!"

Iwaizumi stepped forward with an encouraging smile:

"You're strong enough for that if you believe in your capacities, so go all out!"

Some tears filled their eyes, but determination burned into their gazes. The third-years smiled, glad to see that their kouhais were ready to shoulder the weight of the team.

"Yahaba," Oikawa called, startling the setter.

He hesitated lightly before stepping forward:

"You were chosen as Captain by the second-years, and I couldn't agree more! Your skills and strength are there, you just need to have more confidence in yourself. I believe in you." Oikawa said, showing his hand.

"C-Captain…" Yahaba whispered, blinking away the tears in his eyes.

"Not anymore, eh!" Iwaizumi exclaimed with a chuckle, " _You're_ the Captain from now on! Make sure to handle these boys right, okay?"

"Y-yes… I won't disappoint you, senpai…" He said with a stiff but respectful bow.

"Speak louder, Yahaba! Get your voice heard!" Makki exclaimed with a teasing grin.

Yahaba looked at him then took a deep breath:

"YES!"

He glanced quickly at Oikawa then turned towards the rest of the team who was now staring at him with the same respect they had been looking at Oikawa since he had become Captain. It threw him off a little but then, he felt a hand against his back. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Oikawa smiling at him. He pushed him lightly forward, the way he did to tell the spikers _"jump without fear, I'll give you the toss you prefer."_ It was Oikawa's way of saying _"go ahead, it's YOUR team now."_

It was a turning point – for the team, for the third-years, for the ones who might become professional volleyball players…

Yahaba took a deep breath before turning towards his team:

"Seijou!" He called, putting his hand forward.

They all gathered around him, putting their own hands above his. Kyoutani looked a little forced, but he went into the circle anyway. The third-years smiled.

"Seijou, fight!" Yahaba screamed loudly.

"OOSS!" They all echoed, throwing their hands upwards.

It was time to give the team to the second-years, they would handle it right and they would carry on their goals.

"All right, everyone!" Mizoguchi called, taking out his camera.

Hajime grabbed Kiku's hand, forcing her to move along with the rest of the third-years as they all gathered to take pictures. The entire team together, posing for the last time, with and without the coaches then, food and drinks were brought so that they could all enjoy the improvised party for the departure of the third-years. They all still felt a little sad because it was the end of Aoba Jousai's team with the current third-years, but they were all happy for the years they had spent together.

In the end, Kiku was happy to see smiles everywhere.

By the end of the not-practice, the third-years had gathered all of their stuff from their lockers and were finally ready to leave the changing-room for good.

"We had lots of fun in here, didn't we?" Hanamaki said with a smile.

"Probably too much at times," Matsukawa answered.

"I felt sorry for Mizoguchi so many times!" Iwaizumi exclaimed with a chuckle.

"You're saying that but you never said no to anything we proposed, no matter how crazy," Makki teased, poking into his chest.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes but couldn't deny it. They had had the best high-school time in this changing-room, it was hard saying goodbye but it also meant they were moving forward for more and new perspectives for their future.

"Let's go have ramen~!" Oikawa proposed.

"Only if it's on you, ex-Captain!" Hanamaki said.

"O-oi! D-don't call me that, it's sad! Also, you always eat like crazy so no!"

There was some bickering, but they finally agreed to get some ramen, inviting Kiku along with them mostly so she and Hajime could spend more time together. After they got their usual ramen, bickering and challenging each other like usual, Hajime decided to walk home Kiku. They were walking in silence, under the night sky, holding hands, comfortable in the quietness and warmth they felt.

Hajime's thoughts started going towards what Oikawa had mentioned in the morning. Knowing what Kiku would do next year, what studies she would follow… perhaps they could even consider living together. They were so comfortable with each other, it wouldn't be a problem for either of them. If they lived together, it'd be more economical for both of them and their families… It was a sudden turning-point in their relationship but… he felt ready, if she was ready as well.

"Kiku…" He started, voice a little tight to talk about such a topic so suddenly, cheeks flushing, "I know… we've been dating for only a few months but… in a few more months… it'll be almost a year… More like eight or nine months, no– actually, ten months next April, so um…"

He was rambling. Gods, he was rambling so much. He felt himself blush. He hadn't rambled with Kiku in a long time.

She looked up at him curiously, waiting for him to say what he was trying to get at…

Hajime rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to find a nice, casual way to put it without sounding like a creep.

"A-anyway, I was just thinking… I'll have my own place… to study at the university, y'know and… um, perhaps… P-perhaps you… could join me… I mean, it wouldn't be then a one-person apartment but more like…two… I mean… p-perhaps you would consider… joining me… to live together…"

He blushed even more if it were possible and Kiku went to a stop, staring at him with wide, shocked eyes at his proposition. Hajime looked around before realizing that his sentence had turned out weird.

"I mean, if we live together, it wouldn't be you joining me in my apartment, but you and I… choosing some place to live… together…"

He couldn't meet her eyes, but the silence was starting to get long. Just as he started worrying, Kiku squeezed his hand, attracting his attention on her. His heart sped up when he saw her smile and blushed cheeks.

"I-I'm so happy you… are saying… that… but…" She started, before biting on her lower lip and sighing.

His own smile wavered as she looked back up at him, looking straight into his eyes:

"Hajime, next year I won't remain in Miyagi to study at the university." She said in a strong voice.

Hajime's heart _really_ felt like it physically broke a little bit to hear these words.

BONUS

 _[_ _Some days later, a_ _t Oikawa's home, the third-years were all gathered to check the pictures that Mizoguchi had sent them along with tears of random moments during the year, reminded of the three years together…]_

"Oi, look at that…" Makki said, pointing at a picture from the party.

"And this one too," Matsukawa added, skipping to the next on the computer.

They kept showing pictures until Iwaizumi stopped grinning and pouted, arms crossed over his chest and Oikawa laughing.

"Iwaizumi is _always_ hidden by Oikawa!" Hanamaki exclaimed, making everyone, except Iwaizumi, laugh loudly.

* * *

 _Just a few more chapters beofre the final arc! :)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : STRENGTH OF HEART, STRENGTH OF MIND_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	56. Strength of Heart, Strength of Mind

_I'm sorry for not posting this chapter earlier but the chapters are very long to write and I'm very busy!_

 _For the ones who wouldn't have noticed yet, I satrted posting the Kuroo fanficiton called "Beautiful Disasyer"! ;)_

 _Thank you to eveeryone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **jungkookies** : Thank you very much, I hope you'll someday read it and enjoy it! :)_

 _ **Aquafin** : Don't worry, it'll be a happy ending! ;) With some tears of joy, so I hopep it'll be good enough? :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : YOU DID IT! Your eached it this chapter! :D Hajiem's parents, and Kiku's parents are already planning the wedding and buying their future grandchidren's gifts at this point! XD Sorry I don't answer to everyhting in your review, but we had already discussed it all on skype~! ;)_

 ** _WARNING : NSFW moment_**

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER LVI : Strength of Heart, Strength of Mind

" _Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter."_

— **Carol Bishop Hipps, "October," In a Southern Garden**

" _You should never hate anyone, even your worst enemies. Everyone has something good about them. You have to find the redeeming quality and love the person for that."_

— **Jeannette Walls**

" _This is why people touch. Sometimes words are just not enough."_

— **Nicola Yoon, Everything, Everything**

" _But remember, you can't fix everything in the world for everybody."_

— **Mary Oliver, Dog Songs**

" _Saying "no" doesn't make you a bad person. You can have the most beautiful heart and the kindest intentions and still refuse mistreatments and abuse. You can love people and still say no."_

— **Shi Collantes**

" _Sometimes quiet is violent."_

— **Car Radio, 21 Pilots**

" _You seem to forgive everyone everything, so once in a while, you should allow others to forgive you."_

— **Jude Deveraux, Temptation**

" _Give yourself permission to cut negative people from your life, and surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you."_

— **James Altucher**

" _I'm not much but I'm all I have."_

— **Philip K. Dick, Martian Time-Slip**

" _I'm not perfect… But I'm enough."_

— **Carl Rogers**

" _People too often forget that it is your own choice how you want to spend the rest of your life."_

— **Anonymous**

" _I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see."_

— **Douglas Pagels**

" _Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it."_

— **Epictetus**

" _No matter how cruel the world becomes,_

 _You must never let go of your kindness."_

— **Anonymous**

" _It's unfortunate, and I really wish I wouldn't have to say this, but I really like human beings who have suffered. They're kinder."_

— **Emma Thompson**

" _People need to be encouraged. People need to be reminded of how wonderful they are. People need to be believed in - told they are brave, and smart, and capable of accomplishing all the dreams they dream - and more. Remind each other of this."_

— **Stacey Jean Speer**

" _One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything you are and won't let you be anything less. They see the potential of you. They see endless possibilities. And through their eyes, you start to see yourself the same way. As someone who matters. As someone who can make a difference in this world."_

— **Susane Colasanti**

Hajime entered the classroom, ignoring the conversations around him during break. For once it was quiet, mostly because Oikawa and the others hadn't arrived yet. Looking up, he froze upon seeing Kiku talking with Fujioka Masami – the girl who had bullied her at the beginning of the school year. They were apparently exchanging notebooks. Furious to see the girl who had bullied his girlfriend acting so casual with his Kiku, he stomped forward, other classmates glancing at him worriedly:

"Oi! What do you think you're doing?!" He shouted, roughly grabbing the notebook Fujioka was giving Kiku.

Both Kiku and Masami startled, turning to him with wide eyes. He almost pushed her away but held back the rough move before it might get him in trouble, she still stepped way. Some sort of hurt pride flashed in Fujioka's eyes while he checked the notebook, making sure nothing was damaged in any way but Kiku's notes were the same as usual. Confused, he looked up, still frowning at the girl:

"Satisfied?" She asked in a biting voice.

"…What are you doing?" He asked suspiciously.

"Ask your _girlfriend_." She answered, looking away from him stubbornly.

He turned to Kiku and she smiled awkwardly:

"T-the teacher asked me to help out Fujioka-san with her English lessons… So I gave her my notebook for her to copy the last lesson. She was giving it back." Kiku explained in a quiet voice, her hands reaching to get her notebook from Hajime's hands.

"She didn't do anything wrong, did she? She didn't hurt you or threatened you or–?" He asked but before he could continue, Fujioka snorted, attracting his attention on her.

"Unlike _you_ , Akiyama is capable of forgiveness!" She hissed before turning around and walking to her seat.

He kept frowning at her then turned back to Kiku, his features softening at once:

"Really? She didn't do anything wrong?" He asked nervously.

"Why would she? You and Oikawa-san scared her enough, she won't do anything." Kiku explained with a shrug.

He snorted doubtfully – if Masami hadn't done anything wrong to anyone since the eggs and flour accident, she didn't stop looking down at people. She just seemed less haughty because Oikawa had shut her up, everyone seeing when her dream of dating the Prince of Aoba Jousai had shattered.

"She wasn't saying the truth, though, you haven't forgiven her for what she's done to you, _right?"_ He asked, his voice hopeful she wouldn't be _that_ kind.

She must have caught on his tone because she didn't answer right away, the pause long enough for it to be explicit. Hajime sighed loudly, rolling his eyes to the sky, so frustrated he had to hold back from clenching his fists:

"You're not _serious_ , Kiku?!" He exclaimed, a few students glancing at them curiously, "She bullied you and dragged others into it, she _hurt_ you! You can't just forgive her and ignore what happened!"

"Just because I have forgiven her, doesn't mean I have _forgotten_. I'm not _stupid_ , Hajime!" Kiku answered, her tone sharper than intended.

Both froze for a short moment after hearing the sharpness of her words then she sighed and forced her shoulders to relax as she continued, avoiding looking his way:

"She apologized to me, I have no reason to hold a grudge against her when she apologized–"

"She apologized because the teacher _asked_ her to!"

"Hajime, despite what you're thinking, I _know_ how to handle people! Even the ones who have bullied me in the past! But I won't let a stupid grudge keep me from forgiving her and move forward! Perhaps you and Oikawa should learn what forgiveness is – instead of holding onto this ridiculous rivalry with Ushiwaka!" She hissed, angrily pushing down her notebook on her desk.

Kiku froze, opening wide eyes while Hajime stared at her, stunned. It was the first time she was raising her voice against him. Or saying such thing. She knew how difficult it was for him and Oikawa to get over their constant losses. Why would she say such words? It stung more than he would have imagined.

His tongue burnt to let out some snarky reply but when he saw Kiku's shoulders shake and her eyes fill with panic, he sighed once again, letting out the steam this way.

"…Maybe I should, _yeah_ … but I'm not nearly as forgiving or kind as you are… it'll take me more time to forget this rivalry…"

He went to his desk, sitting down and she warily followed him with her gaze, afraid he might get angry at her after all.

"I-I'm sorry…" She murmured, lowering her voice so their conversation wouldn't be heard by everyone around.

"It's okay, I'm sorry too. I'm just… I've been frustrated since we lost." He mumbled, frowning at nothing or no one in particular.

"A-and I've been anxious too…" She admitted, lowering her gaze.

He glanced quickly at her before turning to face her:

"Come to my place after school. My parents won't be there and we haven't… spent time together in a while. We could relax instead of studying for once, maybe watch a movie or… something…" He said.

She looked up at him, mouth falling open then she leaned forward, making sure no one else would heard:

"Are you… telling me to go to your place… just to have sex?" She asked in disbelief.

He flushed at her choice of words but she wasn't wrong. She was too surprised by his sudden request – he had never been so forward. Even since they had lost their virginity they had been practicing a _lot_. But it was always mutual, it never seemed to be desperate. Right now, Hajime seemed frustrated for more than just losing at the Spring High.

"No! Yes, but no, I mean! Y-yeah, i-if you want…" He said awkwardly before closing his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck anxiously, "I'm sorry, I'm just… I don't know what I want anymore, I just–"

"Okay."

He looked up at his girlfriend with wide eyes.

"Let's go and have some… steamy sex. I might need it too." She said with a shrug, not looking that enthusiastic at the perspective.

"…Really?" He asked.

"Yeah, we didn't do anything in a while anyway…" She continued, shrugging once again and opening her book to start reading.

"We haven't… with the Spring-High, then me moping around and–"

" _Hajime, next year I won't remain in Miyagi to study at the university."_

"And stuff…" He mumbled, turning away to face his desk once again.

She made a humming sound to agree with him, without replying to anything. He glanced quickly at her, realizing that she was only pretending to read. He didn't blame her for ending the conversation there anyway.

Ever since he had tried to ask her to move in together for the university, and she had dropped the bomb that she would leave Miyagi Prefecture, things had been… awkward. It wasn't that they weren't talking but that night, he had been too shocked to discuss things more thoroughly. Then they had arrived at her home and she had hurried away from him. After that, school work got accumulated, he was away to visit his grandparents in the week-end, more school work… and they didn't get to discuss the topic in depth. It wasn't that they were _actively_ avoiding it, but just like before she had told him that, they… didn't want to talk about it because it meant talking about separation. Talking about university meant that things as they were at the moment wouldn't be the same. He had been too focused on the Spring High to start the topic until he had just assumed she'd move in with him, and Kiku hadn't tried to start the topic either – now he knew it was because she had decided to go study somewhere else. It felt too sad if he tried to ask her what she would study and _where_. She didn't seem to be willing to talk about it either, aware of the distance that would come between them, and that was why they had both accumulated frustration and stress, needing to talk and let the steam out. They might get to let it out after school, but the idea of talking about such a delicate topic left them… not much eager to be done with the school day.

By the end of the day, sleepy from hours and hours of classes without the perspective of a volleyball practice afterwards, Hajime was just staring at people stand up and go at the end of the day.

"Akiyama-san," the teacher called, "I need to see you for a moment. It's about your university choice after high-school."

Kiku, who had been putting her books into her bag, nodded to the teacher before glancing at Hajime who straightened up:

"I'll wait for you, don't worry," he said with a smile.

She smiled back, quickly following their teacher. Hajime watched her go, suddenly curious about what she had chosen to study after high-school. He had imagined her doing plenty of works, like working for animal shelters, veterinary maybe, or teacher, or nanny like his mom was… there were lots of fields of work Kiku would enjoy doing but he had no idea what specific idea would make her go away from Miyagi. Sendai University had plenty of choices, there was no need to move away. Oikawa would go because he _wanted_ to be in Tokyo to train for the volleyball team, and because he'd work part-time as a model (Hajime still had a hard time wrapping his mind around it) but what had Kiku chosen to do that she'd move away? He didn't even know where she'll go… Probably another prefecture, Tokyo would be better if they wanted to keep seeing each other – what if it was overseas?! They'd never see each other again and–

Hajime shook his head, clicking his tongue in annoyance, knowing that getting ideas would get him nowhere. He'll ask Kiku everything he needed to know.

He put everything in his bag then stood up, slowly going towards the room where their teacher was usually talking to students, mostly about their studies' choices. Leaning against the wall, he realized that he could hear the smothered voice of the teacher because the door hadn't been completely closed. He tried not to listen too closely, but he was curious _and_ it was too easy listening to what was being said.

"…I think it best you reconsider your choices, Akiyama-san. As I said, considering your situation, I don't think it'd be wise to follow such a tricky path. You are intelligent and have good results, you could do a lot even if you chose your second or third option."

There was a pause before the teacher finished:

"I'll let you think about it a little more, but remember what I told you."

"Thank you… sensei…" Kiku answered.

The scratching sound of chairs then her footsteps approaching. Hajime quickly pulled out his phone to pretend he was busy on it and hadn't been eavesdropping just as she appeared. She looked up at him, surprised to already see him here.

"Ready to go?" He asked casually, pushing himself off the wall.

She nodded and took his hand to walk away but he could see she looked disheartened, probably because of what the teacher had told her. What option could she have chosen that he'd tell her to reconsider? What did he mean by "with your situation"?

"Everything okay?" He asked, trying to get her to talk.

"Y-yeah, sensei just wanted to talk about university a little more." She answered, avoiding giving any more details.

He didn't answer and they walked in silence to his place. It was almost a comfortable silence, if it weren't for the light tension between them that was constant ever since their talk the other night. And now that they knew they were going to try and get rid of this tension, it seemed to make it even worse. They could feel it on their skins and unconsciously, they accelerated just to get it done faster.

 **[NSFW]**

The moment they were through the door, Hajime grabbed Kiku's wrist and spun her around. She gasped when he crushed his lips against hers, his hands already digging into her hips through the clothes. She moaned, kissing him back, biting and sucking on each other's lips while she held onto his tie. Taking off their shoes in a hurry and dropping their bags, they walked straight to his bedroom – occasionally pushing each other against the walls to tear off their clothes from their bodies. Within seconds, their ties, shirts and her skirt were on the floor.

Entering the bedroom, Kiku turned around and pushed him against the door as it slammed shut, her hands caressing his perfect torso. She pulled open his belt and pants, quickly pulling it all down along with his socks. Kneeling in front of him she caressed his erection through his boxers, Hajime sighing and dropping his head backwards at the touch. She pulled off his boxers, her lips meeting his penis, kissing and licking the length of it before hungrily taking him into her mouth. His hands went into her hair, urging her for more speed and intensity by tightening his hold on her hair. Looking up at him with lustful eyes, she did as he silently instructed but within seconds, his hold on her hair got so tight it was almost painful. She moaned, partly because of the pain, and partly because she loved making him feel so good.

Hajime suddenly pushed her away then pulled her up, kissing her lips breathlessly. She gasped, holding onto his shoulders while he pushed her towards the bed as his hands were taking off the last of her clothes so they could finally be skin against skin. Without a word, he pushed her down and immediately started kissing, biting and licking her neck and breasts, quickly driving her mad. Her hands in his hair, he let his hand wander against her pussy, feeling her warmth and wetness. He pulled out his fingers and put them into his mouth, his gaze diving into hers. He purposefully licked them slowly, knowing it was turning her on from the way she bit on her lower lip and her eyes were set aflame.

Without a word, just with their eyes, filled with frustration and lust, they understood they were getting too impatient to play around. Hajime stood up to get a condom, quickly putting it on while Kiku was getting impatient, biting and licking on her lower lip. Once ready, he leaned down against her once again.

Hajime tenderly kissed her neck, undulating his body against her, hard muscles against soft curves, his hands slowly roaming over her body. Moaning, Kiku bucked her hips against his but suddenly, he just pulled away, grabbing her hips and forcing her around. She let out a little scream when he forced her on her knees and hands, grabbing her hair while leaning against her back. His lips brushed her ear, breathing hard before licking and sucking on her lobe in the same time his free hand was teasingly caressing her pussy.

"You know what I want right now, uh?" He asked in a hot voice, his warm breath vibrating against the sensitive skin of her neck.

Breathing hard, she nodded wordlessly.

"Say it." He ordered, letting his teeth scrape along the length of her neck.

She moaned, the burning sensation in her core getting painful from desire, her entire body trembling.

"P-please… H-Hajime!" She begged while he teasingly let the length of his erection run against her without giving her what she wanted.

"Say it!" He exclaimed, slapping her butt cheek.

She screamed, trying to move but his hold on her was too strong.

" _Please!_ Just do it already! Fuck me hard!" She shouted, trying to glare at him for making her wait.

His lips that had been against her neck for some peppering, teasing kisses, turned into a smile. She just had time to take in the realization that he was smiling before he plunged into her, biting her neck in the same time. She screamed in delight, the sensation of being completely filled by her Hajime, of being so completely surrounded by him, his scent, his warmth, overwhelming. Her scream turned into a loud moan that he echoed with a growl of his own.

He started moving, slowly at first then quickly setting up a fast, rough pace. The sound of flesh hitting flesh was covered by Kiku's screams at each and every move. He didn't stop kissing or occasionally biting her neck, his hands caressing her body, grabbing her hips for a better hold. Her hands turned into fists, desperately pulling at the sheets, shaking all the while moving backwards to meet his thrusts, which only increased the sensations for both of them. She tried to hold onto him, her hand only brushing his side before she dropped forward on her forearms. He gave stronger, deeper thrusts, making her screams get even more high-pitched.

"Don't stop! Don't stop!" She shouted in between raspy breaths and screams.

He started accelerating, growling louder and louder, just as a loud pounding against his wall, just in front of them, made them freeze and a smothered, but furious voice reached them:

"Keep it down! Some are trying to study here!" Oikawa shouted.

Kiku actually chuckled while Hajime had to bite hard on his lower lip to not laugh, still slowly moving in and out of her but now, they were trying to stay quiet. But they were too frustrated to stay quiet. Suddenly pulling out of Kiku, which made her scream in complain, she turned around, glaring at him, her messy hair falling all over her face and sticking to her sweaty forehead.

"What do you think you're doing?!" She hissed furiously.

He snorted at her insulted tone before grabbing a few pillows and arranging them around so she would be more comfortable, then he pushed her down with a strong push. She gasped once again, now laying completely on the bed. Still behind her, he pushed her legs apart with his knees as she took grab of a pillow, understanding what he was about to do. He plunged once again into her and she bit on the pillow to smother her growls as he started moving in and out of her, his lips constantly kissing and biting her, smothering his own sounds by doing so. With this position, everything felt _more_ in so many ways and they were quickly close to the edge once again. Accelerating, his hands reached for hers, fingers entwining as their moves became more desperate for release. Their screams got louder until, with a final gasp, they came together. Silence fell upon them, bodies frozen in the state of pure bliss, eyes closed and hearts beating hard.

Hajime let himself drop against Kiku, careful not to crush her until she squeezed his hands. He moved out of her and rolled on his back, breathing hard just as she lifted herself up and moved against him, kissing his lips tenderly. She straddled him, still kissing softly, his fingers against her soft body and tangled in her hair. When he got hard again, she started riding him, still sweetly kissing him in between short breaths. Holding her, he rolled both of them over, bodies sliding against one another, this time keeping a slow pace to tenderly make love to each other.

 **[SFW]**

When they had come and gone through a few more love sessions, they cuddled together under the covers, getting sleepy from all the emotions and sensations they had gone through. Hajime was keeping Kiku tight against his body, making sure they'd be pressed as close as physically possible together. Their hands were entwined and he kept leaving lazy, peppering kisses against her neck and brushing his nose into her hair, smelling her familiar scent.

"Feeling better?" Kiku asked, a smile on her lips, referring to his confession of the morning when he had said he had been feeling frustrated.

"Yeah…" He answered with an amazed smile, "You _always_ make me feel better, cupcake… but from now on I know what I'll need when I'll lose a game." He added teasingly.

He had wanted to make her chuckle but instead she kept her lips tight, glancing at him, almost in a scolding way.

"Don't say you'll lose again. You won't. You'll win next time, and the time after, and after and after and forever."

He was the one to chuckle at that.

"Yeah, you're right… even if no team is guaranteed victory, no team can win if you don't believe in victory. Sorry about that." He said, propping himself up on his elbow and leaning down to kiss her nose.

She chuckled adorably at the sweet kiss before cupping his cheek to look into his beautiful eyes. They stared at each other, unable to look away or let go of the sensation of warmth and peace they felt just being with each other.

"You… are going to stay in Sendai… to study Biology and train for the National team." She started with a shaky voice.

His smile dropped, both knowing they needed to talk about it eventually.

"Yeah. A-and you? What… are you going to study? Where will you go?" He asked.

She seemed hesitant, letting go of his cheek and staring up at the ceiling, an uneasy light in her eyes. He couldn't tell if it was because they were talking about this topic in particular, or because she was hesitant.

"I… want to study Law in Tokyo."

Hajime opened wide eyes. In all the options he had imagined Kiku might choose, he hadn't considered she'd study _Law_.

"I want to become a lawyer who will help young children who are abused and need homes, or don't have any…" She explained, not daring to meet his eyes.

He looked down at her, now understanding what their teacher had talked about and why she seemed so hesitant. With her past, she felt more concerned than most with the fate of adopted or abused children, but it also made her even more fragile…

"Why?" He asked, shaking lightly his head, "Y-you're brilliant, you could do anything, why would you do something that's going to break you?"

She looked up at him, hurt that he had so little faith in her and her choices.

"I… I want to help people like me. Children who need families, who are abused by their families, I don't want the system to ruin more lives. It's not going to break me, I'm stronger than that and… helping others is what I do best. Why does no one believe in me?"

He suddenly felt guilty for his words. He closed and opened his lips for a while, thinking carefully on her words and on what he should say next:

"…It sounds like you, putting others first once again… and I… I believe in you, I know that you'll do great. You'd be an amazing lawyer. But I'm just… worried…"

"That I'll break?"

"That you'll be alone when it'll happen."

Kiku stared at him, tears filling her eyes. He looked straight into her eyes, taking a shaky breath in:

"You're going to Tokyo for that, right? To accomplish your dream to help children in the same situation as you? It's a beautiful dream and I'm a hundred percent behind you, I'll always support you but… promise me you won't let it get it to you and you'll make sure to put yourself first when you'll need. Promise me… you won't let go of life, _ever_ …" He whispered, voice breaking a little.

She opened her trembling lips, eyes teary from his words.

"…I-I promise, Hajime… I won't let go of life…" She answered in a whisper before looking hesitantly into his eyes, "You said that you're scared I'd break while being alone… is this… is this your way of saying… you want… _us_ to end?"

Her voice was shaking, bravely holding back her tears while her heart pounded in distress, but she held on. She would respect his decision for his future, _their_ future, as long as he was happy, it was all that mattered.

Hajime thought about this question for a long moment, unable to look at her.

"…I don't want us to end…" He said in a low voice, "But… I don't want of a long-distance relationship either…"

"I don't want it either."

They looked at each other sadly. They wouldn't ask the other to give up on their dream or their goal.

"Then… should we… is this the end?" He asked, heart heavy.

"I don't know…"

They remained silent for a long moment, not knowing what to do, or what to say. They didn't want their story to end, but they didn't want to have their relationship, their lives away from each other. If they couldn't be together _all_ the time, what was the point?

"We could… think about it a little longer… the school year isn't over, we won't graduate for a while… we'll decide then…" Hajime said in a hesitant voice.

She looked up at him, then nodded silently. He let out a breath of relief, laying down and pulling her to him once again. She relaxed under his touch, closing her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. Seeing this peaceful expression on her face, he smiled as well, despite the sad tugging at his heart that _this_ could end in a few months…

"What are your other options after Law School? My options two and three are police officer and firefighter." He said.

She smiled brighter, imagining him very well doing such jobs.

"Always protecting others, without surprise… My other options are taking after my parents' bakery, or veterinary."

He snorted, which made her look up.

"I actually thought you'd do that. Veterinary, I mean. I hadn't thought of the bakery but… it suits you just as much as lawyer…"

She smiled and they were lost into each other's eyes once again. He leaned down to kiss her softly. It tasted like sadness and goodbye even if they weren't over yet.

A few days later, Iwaizumi and Oikawa were playing video games, the latter losing dramatically until the heavy silence from his friend became too much:

"Will you finally say what's on your mind, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked after a while, their eyes fixated on the screen.

Iwaizumi glanced at him, surprised by his sudden question.

"You've seemed off recently, and you usually bathe in the glory of your victories over me, so there's definitely something wrong. Is it because of Kiku-chan?"

"H-how…"

"I know you better than I know myself, Iwa-chan. Kiku-chan has seemed just as strange lately so I guess it's something between you two."

Oikawa turned his gaze towards his friend very quickly. Iwaizumi recovered from his initial shock, lips closing and looking down as they paused the game without a word.

"…She's going to study in Tokyo."

"Oh~! That's great! It means we'll be together! I'll know someone!" Oikawa exclaimed before realizing what the problem was, "Oh… But… _you_ are staying here…"

"Yeah… she's been… she's still hesitating a little so… I kinda hope she'll change her mind but whenever I think that, I feel guilty for thinking such a thing. We decided… that we'll probably end things when we'll go our own way but everything seems so sad now…" He explained carefully.

Oikawa remained silent, trying to find a way to comfort his friend, maybe even a solution to their problem. They would both go their own ways to study, but it didn't have to end.

"Perhaps you could come study to Tokyo too, or maybe you could maintain your relationship anyway – Kiku would probably come back here often, and you could come and visit Tokyo too. You staying in Sendai is only temporary so–"

"You don't think I haven't thought of that?" Iwaizumi grumbled, passing his hands over his face, "Knowing that Kiku waits for me in Tokyo would just encourage me to go there as often as possible, I'll have to study, she'll have to focus on her studies too. It'd be too distracting and–"

"Aren't you fooling yourself by saying that, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa interrupted calmly, earning a strange look from his friend, "The truth is… the two of you don't want to handle the pain of being away from each other."

Hajime didn't answer before looking down. Godzilla seemed to understand that his dad was feeling troubled because he walked over and put his head against his thigh, as if trying to comfort him. Without a word, Hajime lightly scratched the back of his head, the way the bearded dragon liked most.

"Yeah… but the truth hurts." He finally said.

Oikawa put his hand over his shoulder, squeezing in an attempt of comfort.

A few days later, like they always did recently, Hajime and Kiku arrived together at school:

"Go ahead, I have something to check before going to class," Kiku said, letting go of his hand and going back on her footsteps.

He observed her go away. She always found an excuse in the morning or at various moments of the day to escape. He tried not to dwell on it, there was no point in worrying for no reason, and mostly, he wanted to believe she trusted him enough to share whatever she had on her mind if she ever needed to talk to anyone. He went on his own in the classroom while Yukimura Shinobu arrived at the range of shoe lockers.

She glanced around to discreetly check if Oikawa had arrived but was disappointed when he wasn't, knowing she might not cross his path before lunch, she took off her shoes. She was about to continue her way when she noticed someone approaching. She recognized her classmate, Muraki coming closer and staring firmly at Kiku's locker. She met eyes with Shinobu and quickly went to her own locker before hurrying to class.

"Shi-chan!"

She turned around and saw Kiku coming closer to her, quickly taking off and changing her shoes.

"Is everything all right for you, Kiku-chan?" She asked worriedly.

"Ah? Yes, of course! Just a little stressed with the exams coming up…" She explained sheepishly.

And before Shinobu could ask anything else, someone else appeared – rather than appearing in their field of vision, they heard the squeals announcing his arrival:

"Oikawa-san~!" Shinobu exclaimed, stars in her eyes as he approached the two girls.

"Yoohoo~! Kiku-chan, Shi-chan~! How are you?" He asked in a good mood before glancing around and blinking, "Where is Iwa-chan?"

"He already went to the classroom," Kiku exclaimed with a smile as he changed his shoes.

"Ah, is that so~! Then, ladies, shall I accompany you to your classroom~?" He asked with a little bow to appear gentlemanly.

Kiku rolled her eyes and started walking while, unfazed by her reaction, Oikawa winked quickly at Shinobu, as if they were sharing a secret. Blushing and chuckling at his attention, they fell into conversation, followed by Kiku close behind.

That day, after school, Iwaizumi and Oikawa went to see the first and second-years at practice. The kouhais enthusiastically gathered around them, talking proudly about what their last practice match they had won. While Oikawa was teasing Yahaba as new setter and Captain, Kyoutani warily glanced around before nearing Iwaizumi.

"Oi… Where's Akiyama?" He asked in a hard voice, but making sure to not be heard by anyone else but the former Ace.

Iwaizumi blinked before pointing over his shoulder:

"She needed to see the teacher. She said she'd come watch your practice when she's done. It shouldn't take long."

Kyoutani frowned darkly but just went back to the cart of balls, practicing his serves while the others were still talking with their senpais.

"Still as lonely as ever I see…" Oikawa commented, approaching Iwaizumi while the boys were scolded by Mizoguchi for wasting too much time.

"Mm. But he's part of the team." Iwaizumi answered with a nod, arms crossed over his chest.

They watched from the sidelines their kouhais playing, the new team with new dynamic. A good team.

"It's a good team." Oikawa finally said, his expression full of melancholy even if their time on the team hadn't been that long ago.

"They're strong." Iwaizumi agreed with a similar gaze.

Hajime's eyes were attracted on Kyoutani who kept glancing at the clock, a tiny bit of jealousy in his heart that his kouhai seemed so impatient to see Kiku. Losing his smile and frowning a little, without quite realizing it, he started staring hard at the lonely wolf. After a while, Oikawa noticed the hard gaze as well and glanced between the two:

"Since when do you have a grudge against Kyouken-chan? Angry he took your place as Ace?" He asked, voice a little teasing.

"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed, rolling his eyes, "He asked me about Kiku, he's been weird ever since."

"Jealous~?"

Hajime flushed in a mix of embarrassment and annoyance but didn't deny it. Oikawa chuckled at his reaction just as a break was called. Their kouhai all went to drink some refreshing water – all but one.

"Oi, where you're going Kyoutani?" Yahaba asked, frowning lightly.

He glanced over his shoulder very quickly, almost glaring before answering sharply:

"Toilets."

A little embarrassed to have asked him such a thing, Yahaba didn't add anything while his teammate went off, Iwaizumi's gaze never leaving him. When the break was almost over, Hajime realized two things: Kyoutani wasn't coming back – and so did Kiku. It was getting too long for her to just talk with the teacher.

"I'll be back soon," Hajime said abruptly, turning around and leaving suddenly.

He couldn't get rid of the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach now. Something weird was going on. He went to the toilets, but without surprise, Kyoutani wasn't here so he went directly to the main building, knowing that Kiku would be around. He went to the teacher's classroom but their teacher was alone and he told Hajime that Kiku had been gone for almost ten minutes now – more than enough time for her to go to the gymnasium. Now worried, he started exploring the halls, classrooms and various places she might have gone to. His steps suddenly slowed down, seeing Kyoutani a few meters ahead of him.

"OI! Kyoutani!"

The kouhai startled and turned around just as Hajime caught up with him, frowning and his worry now getting the best of him:

"What's going on? What are you doing here? Are you looking for Kiku? She's nowhere to be found and I have a bad feeling that–"

His voice was cut by the sound of something falling down. The two boys' gazes were attracted to some dark hall further down the hall. Without hesitation, Kyoutani turned around and hurried there, followed closely by a much more panicked Hajime. They arrived in the hall in a few long strides and if Kyoutani didn't appear surprised, only even angrier than usual, Hajime was shocked for a short moment. He was shocked to see the events unfolding under his eyes, but he wasn't that surprised.

Muraki, and two other girls he didn't even know, had just pushed Kiku against the wall.

"OI!" Hajime shouted.

The three bullies turned around at once, eyes widening and faces paling when they saw Hajime, glaring at them and looking incredibly dangerous.

"What do you think you're doing?" He hissed.

"I-Iwaizumi-san…!" One of them murmured in a panic.

Kiku looked up, stunned to see both Kyoutani and her boyfriend there, but she couldn't deny the rapid, happy heartbeats that resonated against her chest to see them here.

"W-we were just… we were just talking!" Muraki exclaimed, starting to lose all countenance, like most bullies did when caught.

Hajime hit his fist against the palm of his other hand, looking down at the three trembling girls.

"Ah yeah? I'd like to talk to you too then…" He hissed.

Kyoutani glanced at him, a little worried he'd get in trouble for a fight – but he wouldn't be one to stop him unless things got truly messy.

"W-wait, I-Iwaizumi-san…!" Muraki exclaimed, stepping away, tears filling her eyes.

Hajime took a threatening step forward but suddenly, Kiku jumped in front of the three girls, hands in the air. He froze, eyes wide in astonishment:

"W-wait! Hajime! Stop that!" She exclaimed, a little pale herself but from the bullying rather than her boyfriend's protectiveness.

"They were hitting you, they were bullying you… How long did it go on?!" Hajime exclaimed.

Kiku looked down sheepishly, suddenly being hit by the guilt that any of this wouldn't have happened if she had talked to him about it. Or to a teacher. The girls looked away in shame as well.

Hajime looked at each and every one of them, even Kyoutani, eyes narrowing when he realized that his kouhai _knew_.

"You didn't tell me anything…" He muttered, talking to both Kyoutani and Kiku.

"B-because… I knew you'd react like that… I didn't want to worry you when you have so much on your mind already…" Kiku explained in a slightly trembling voice.

"It's my job to protect you! I'm your _boyfriend_ , you can't just hide this sort of things from me! You can't just let it slide out of kindness! Stop being so kind, Kiku, get a little selfish!" He exclaimed, passing his hands over his face and into his hair.

Kyoutani and the girls glanced between him and Kiku, realizing they were starting to argue, even if it seemed totally ridiculous with how it had started.

Kiku didn't answer right away, tightening her fists as he continued:

"You forgave Fujioka, now you're forgiving them as well! You probably forgave the Himura for what they did to you, haven't you?! And your biological parents?! When will you stop being so… so ridiculously kind?! When will you stop undergo all of this shit, and face the people who always make you suffer?! If you don't stand up for yourself, they'll just keep doing this to you! I won't always be here to protect you, you have to be strong on your own! Be _selfish_ , damn it! It's only _human!"_ He shouted, his voice, angry at first, slowly filling with worry for all the times he hadn't been here for her, and the times he _won't_ be here for her in the future.

Kiku didn't answer, keeping her head low, clenching her fists and jaw. When the silence became too long and too heavy, Hajime realized the weight of his words and guilt filled him. He had raised his voice again Kiku…

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

But his voice trailed off when she looked up at him fiercely. Her blue eyes vibrant with life and strength. It was a gaze he had never seen on her. She was always so soft and kind, always smiling with a pretty spark in her eyes – but _now_. Now she looked like she could take on the entire world and come out victorious just from the sheer strength emanating from her. He was breathless.

"You think I don't _want_ to be selfish? You think it was _easy_ forgiving them? _Any_ of them?" She hissed before taking the few steps separating her from Hajime and then poking harshly into his chest, "You're talking about strength but you don't know the meaning of this word for all of your muscles and power! You're holding onto a ridiculous grudge that won't let you move forward – _how_ is that strong?! You don't know what it took me to forgive them all, but because I have forgiven it doesn't mean I have forgotten any of that! I won't let it happen again! Not to me and not to anyone else!"

She stopped, breathing a little hard, as if suddenly remembering _why_ she wanted to become a lawyer that would protect children like her. Because she didn't want to let any of what had happened to her, happen to them.

"My kindness is my strength. It's the biggest strength in the universe. And you're a fool to doubt it." Kiku said, standing tall and proud in renewed determination.

Mouth hanging open, stunned by her words, by the strength he knew she had in her but had momentarily forgotten out of anger and worry, Hajime could only stare at her, eyes sparkling in love and awe. Before anyone could add anything, Kiku whipped around and stared at the three girls who startled and paled even more.

"Leave me alone. I've told you this times and times again, and I didn't tell anything to anyone to not ruin your last months as high-schooler, but do that again and it's not me you'll have to face. But the _entire_ volleyball team – and you don't want to piss them off!" She exclaimed firmly.

Kyoutani huffed with a glare to support her words. The girls didn't say anything, too scared, impressed and ashamed for that.

Kiku turned around and walked past Hajime, Kyoutani following her. Hajime remained frozen where he stood, eyes widening to see her walk away from him without a glance back at him. He had naturally assumed, with everything they had gone through, the depth of their feelings for each other that… she was depending on him, _relying_ on him for _everything_. But he was realizing that _he_ might have been the one depending completely on Kiku all along.

"I-Iwaizumi-san…" Muraki started.

Being brought back on earth, he turned around without a glance in her direction, ignoring her voice as he went after Kiku and Kyoutani, his heart thundering against his chest.

Further away, Kiku stopped at the teacher's classroom, she exchanged a few words with Kyoutani then entered the room before Hajime could catch up.

There was a short moment of awkward silence between the two volleyball players until Kyoutani spoke up:

"Sorry… for not saying a thing. She asked me to. I thought I was helping." He said, hands in his pockets and gaze down.

Hajime stared at him then had a tiny smile:

"Thank you for keeping an eye out for her. But next time you want to help people, just know that letting the bullies get away with it isn't the solution – get a teacher's help. They won't bite you and you won't have to show your fangs either."

Kyoutani glanced up at him, then visibly relaxed that his esteemed senpai didn't hold a grudge against him for hiding that his girlfriend was being bullied.

"Go back to practice, before Yahaba decides to send the entire team on a hunt for you." Iwaizumi said, nodding towards the other end of the hall.

Kyoutani glanced quickly at the door where Kiku had disappeared to.

"I'll wait for Kiku." Hajime said, earning a quick glance from his kouhai but he must have decided that he'd rather stay away from the lovebirds' mess because he turned around.

When Kiku exited the teacher's room, she blinked in surprise to see Hajime here, especially after their argument. He glanced at her sheepishly and after an awkward silence, they started walking out of the building, getting their bags and without a word, deciding to walk away from the school grounds. Oikawa would probably be pissed off to have been left behind without warning, but he was the furthest away from the couple's minds. They took the way for Kiku's home, walking slowly. For once, not to spend as much time together as possible, but simply to try and find something to say.

"Do you think I'm weak?" Hajime suddenly asked, stopping suddenly.

Kiku stopped as well, turning around and staring at him with wide eyes. He seemed frustrated, distraught – by her words without doubt.

" _You're talking about strength but you don't know the meaning of this word for all of your muscles and power! You're holding onto a ridiculous grudge that won't let you move forward –_ _ **how**_ _is that strong?!"_

"I… of course I think you're strong. I was… I wasn't _not_ telling the truth when I said that earlier but… your strength… and mine… they're different." Kiku started with a little shrug.

He looked up at her, waiting for her explanation:

"Like I said, my strength is my kindness. But your strength… Hajime, you're strong because you're so determined. You never give up, you support others, you protect and you're so kind, you don't even realize how inspiring you can be. You know what to do no matter the situation. You spent _years_ practicing for the sake of realizing your dream, attaining your goal – it's _amazing!_ Dedicating so much time to your passion, to this single goal…! All of that, your kindness and this strength of yours, so different from mine… it's what I love about you. Maybe it's because it _is_ a different strength from mine that you've inspired me so much…"

She paused, a little smile on her face while she thought about her own words.

"If my strength is my heart, then… _your_ strength is your mind." She concluded with a bright smile.

He stared at her, heart beating fast, comforted by her words and falling even more in love with her.

"You're just as inspiring…" He said with a smile.

Kiku smiled then slowly, it disappeared. She looked up at him, once again showing her unwavering determination:

"Hajime, I talked again to the teacher. I was hesitating because… I don't want to be separated from you and because it might be the wrong path but… now I know I won't regret it, it won't be the wrong path that I'm choosing. So… even if… it means losing you… I _will_ go study Law in Tokyo." She said with a firm voice.

He sighed, smiling lightly, rubbing the back of his neck then letting his fingers go through his hair. He looked up at the sky, closing his eyes, heart heavy, but his lips were smiling.

"…I was expecting that. I had _hoped_ for that, even if it breaks my heart." He said in a tight voice before looking back at Kiku.

Both had shining eyes, but they were smiling, choosing their respective paths without regret.

"I can't wait to see you reach your goal." He said encouragingly, eyes sparkling proudly to have seen her grow so much from the timid girl he had met at the beginning of the school year.

"And I, yours." She answered with a chuckle.

His hand reached out hesitantly for hers, and she let her own fingers brush against his until their hands entwined in a tight hold.

"Let's go." He said with a smile.

Glad that they were over the little skirmish from earlier and that all of their doubts had been erased, they could only embrace the time that was given to them, whether it was a few more months, a few more years or even perhaps, a few more decades.

* * *

 _Boring chapter, but I needed to finsih the sutff wiht the bullying and I needed to have Kiku confident about her choice for Law School. Next chapter is once again a bit of a filter to conclude some subplots and side stories, then we'll have the final arc! :)_

 _I hope you've enjoyed this chapter!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	57. Underneath the Christmas Lights

_Sorry for not posting earlier, but I really struggled writing this chapter AND I was trying to finish Sowlmates etc. Anyway, here is the new chapter, and next chapter might be the last one. One or two more chapters and the epilogue, and it'll be over. BUT, I'm also going to start posting Oikawa's fanfic - probably tomorrow or in the week. :)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **Aquafin** : I'm glad you liked last chapter and I hope you'll like this one! :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Questo capitolo anche è intenso. Il comincio di questo cpaitolo è un po filler, perché sono cosi che devo scrivere e finire; ma è soppratutto il comincio dell' arco finale! ;D Spero che ti piacerai! :D_

 _ **LadyAnnikki** : Thank you for your reviews! I want to answer fully to your first review, but the second one is hilarious because everyone you pointed out was what was discussed in the chapter that followed right after! XD I hope you kept reading and enjoyed the rest of it~! :3_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I really liked your reviews, your reactios are so funny but in a good way! XD I'm glad you caught up and I hope you'll like what happens next! ;)_

 _ **nana** : I don't think we'll ever know about the embarrassing things concerning Makki; partly becasue it's funny to have people imagine what it might be, and partly (mostly) becasue I don't have a good enough idea for that, lol. So it'll remain a mystery (Hajime will eventually know from Kiku, but he'll keep it a secret out of respect for his friend). Thank you for your support! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER LVII : Underneath the Christmas Lights

" _That is the thing about selfish people. They gamble entire beings, entire souls to please their own."_

— **Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey**

" _Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care. The rest just want to have something to gossip about."_

— **Anonymous**

" _Not everyone can feel things as deeply as you. Most people, their feelings are … bland, tasteless. They'll never understand what it's like to read a poem and feel almost like they're flying, or to see a bleeding fish and feel grief that shatters their heart…"_

— **Garey, Juliann. Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See**

" _Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart."_

— **José N. Harris, MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love**

" _You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same."_

— **Fannie Flagg, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe**

" _There are a few great souls in my life. They are not many. They are few. You are one."_

— **Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait In Letters**

" _When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can't be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life."_

— **Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why**

" _A little darkness, in itself, at the time, is nothing. You think no more about it and you go on. But I know what darkness is, it accumulates, thickens, then suddenly bursts and drowns everything."_

— **Samuel Beckett**

" _That is all I want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful."_

— **Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation**

" _You are different from the rest. Your heart is pure. Rejoice. The broken are the more evolved."_

— **Split (2017), Dir. M. Night Shyamalan**

" _So here's my question: when you lose the most important person to you in the entire world, where is all the love – love you never even knew you were capable of – supposed to go?"_

— **Ted Michael, Crash Test Love**

"You're leaving already?" Hajime asked when he saw Kiku gather her books.

"Yes, I have to join Yuuna-chan and Shi-chan in town, we said we'd go shopping." She answered with a smile.

"Oh…"

Sad to see him so disheartened, she leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"I'll call you tonight. See you tomorrow, muffin," she said before leaving his room.

"See you tomorrow," he answered, watching her leave.

Sighing deeply, he let himself fall to lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. They were already in December and soon it would be the Christmas holiday and right after the Spring-High, to which they would not participate _yet again_ , it'd be March very quickly. The final exams, they'd graduate and…

Hajime sighed again, sitting up to study a little more even if his head was far away from it.

All the third-years had given their orientation papers and filled all the documents for the inscriptions in their chosen university. They still had to go through the entrance exams and wait to know whether they were accepted or not, but everyone was starting to imagine their lives as university students. Matsukawa was going to study to become a (math) teacher, Hanamaki had surprisingly chosen social studies – it probably was because of Kiku's influence and story that had taken a bigger toil on him than he cared to admit. Oikawa would train for the National team and join the Black Moon Agency in Tokyo and Kiku would follow him to study Law. As for Hajime… he'll train for the National team and study Biology here, in Sendai University. Which meant that he'd go from practically living with Oikawa and Kiku, to see his best friend and girlfriend once every few weeks. _If_ he and Kiku even remained together once she'll move away. They were waiting for the university entrance exams before discussing whether they would break up or not.

 _In Sendai…_

Kiku looked around in the crowd of people and quickly noticed her two friends standing further away.

"Shi-chan! Yuu-chan! Sorry I'm late!" She exclaimed, bowing down to apologize.

"It's okay, you were with Iwaizumi-san I suppose?" Shinobu said with an amused smile.

Kiku chuckled in embarrassment, flushing adorably.

"Let's go, we need to find Christmas gifts to everyone," Yuuna said, looking away.

The two classmates followed her, buying all the gifts for their friends and families.

"Have you chosen a gift for Iwaizumi or not yet?" Shinobu asked Kiku when they were taking a break at WcDonalds.

"Yes, I have! It's a big Godzilla mug! I know he has wanted it for a while, now!" She answered excitedly.

She drank some of her drink before looking at Shinobu curiously:

"By the way, I noticed you bought some alien stuff – I didn't know you liked that. You should definitely talk about it with Oikawa-san."

"Ah, it's not for me, it's for… it's for Oikawa-san~!" She answered, flushing as she said that.

Kiku and Yuuna blinked just as she continued, a dreamy look on her face:

"I'm going to confess to him~! And when we'll be dating, we'll spend Christmas together! It'll be the best Christmas of my life!" She exclaimed happily.

The two other girls glanced at each other, surprised by the declaration. It wasn't a secret that Shinobu had a huge crush on the prince of Aoba Jousai, but they wouldn't have imagined she'd confess. Kiku had once asked her why she liked him and it was the same reasons as any of his fans – he was handsome, and talented, and intelligent, and kind, etc. and Shinobu never tried confessing before. Oikawa wasn't hiding that he didn't want of another girlfriend for the moment because he wanted to find "the one" – Kiku knew it was because he had developed a crush on some girl from Shiratorizawa, whose identity he didn't know; he didn't count on finding her again or anything happening, but it made him realize that all of his relationships until now had been blank.

"W-why would you suddenly confess to him?" Kiku asked curiously.

"Now that we're friends and getting much closer, I feel like I have a chance! He invited me to his place the other day, after all~!"

"…I thought it was because you two were studying?" Yuuna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, but it's just an excuse to spend more time together!"

"Are you… sure?" Kiku asked, not really seeing any change in Oikawa's behavior towards her.

"Yes! I know it, because I love him!"

Once again, Yuuna and Kiku glanced at each other. It was a big, sudden statement. And it didn't feel right when one obviously didn't have any romantic feeling for the other.

"I don't see what's so great about him." Yuuna shrugged, trying to turn off the uncomfortable feeling she and Kiku felt.

"Because you don't know him – you are a fool for rejecting him all these years!" Shinobu continued, "Even though I perfectly understand why you did, being in love with someone else."

Yuuna gasped and blushed while Kiku looked up curiously:

"Wait – what? You were in love with someone else? Who?! You never told me anything!"

Realizing her mistake, Shinobu quickly looked down at her drink, Yuuna avoiding looking at her best friend, and the very-girl she had liked all along. Kiku glanced between the both of them, staring hard at Yuuna whom she had thought had never hidden anything from her.

"Yuuna! Is this true?!" Kiku asked again, not understanding why she wouldn't tell her.

"I-it's in the past, t-this person never liked me and is with someone else now… that's why I never told you anything…" Yuuna said with a tight voice.

KIku stared at her, hurt – that she was never trusted and she had never been here for her friend when she needed… Shinobu quickly glanced between the two before focusing once again on her drink.

"Yuuna… I'm sorry I wasn't here for you… you should have talked to me, I could have understood, you know…" She said, putting her hand on her friend's back.

Slowly, Yuuna turned around, forcing a smile on her face:

"Thank you. Next time I fall in love… you'll be the first person to know! I promise!" She said, trying to ignore the way her throat tightened, and her eyes stung.

Kiku seemed reassured and Shinobu spoke up, trying to change the topic to dismiss her sense of guilt for bringing up the subject in the first place:

"M-maybe we could on double dates, r-right Kiku-chan?"

Kiku hesitated before looking down and nodding, slurping her drink to not answer. Shinobu didn't realize her strange behavior or how Yuuna stared firmly at Kiku.

It was only later, when Yuuna and Kiku were walking home, that the topic was brought up again:

"You should tell her." Yuuna said.

"Tell what? To who?" Kiku asked, pretending to not know what she was referring to.

"Shinobu, you should tell her she has no chance with Oikawa! If you let her hope for nothing, then she'll be even more broken-hearted when he'll turn her down!" She answered.

"I-I can't do that! I don't actually know what Oikawa-san would answer to her… perhaps he'll actually say yes and they'll start dating. He's been saying he's feeling lonely so, maybe–"

"Kiku, we both know he won't. He's not interested by Shinobu, she's not even his type – and didn't you say he wanted to wait to find someone _special_ to date this person?"

"W-well, yes, but it's Oikawa-kun, you know he can be fickle. He could change his mind before the end of the school year… and he _has_ been getting closer to Shi-chan, so… maybe he _is_ a little interested by her…"

"Isn't it just because Oikawa and Shinobu end up forced together because you and Iwaizumi just spend more and more time together?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

Kiku went to a stop, flushing before shrugging.

"I-I don't know anymore! But I know I shouldn't get in the way, nor encourage either of them to anything. I can't tell Shinobu to abandon all hopes, and I can't tell Oikawa to date her either so… they'll settle it on their own. Whatever they feel, whatever they want… they're both stubborn enough to do what will feel right."

"Shouldn't you know, he's your new best friend after all…" Yuuna muttered, looking down annoyingly.

The blue-eyed girl whipped towards her, stunned by her words. And hurt by the bitterness of her voice.

"…It's true that I spend more and more time with Oikawa, and that he's become a very good friend… but he'll never replace you, Yuuna. _You_ are my best friend, you've always been and always will be!" She exclaimed.

Yuuna stared at her for a long time, eyes filled with sadness and emotions Kiku couldn't quite understand. She opened and closed her lips, as if to say something but finally, Yuuna's shoulders dropped and she looked away, sighing.

"…For someone usually so perceptive about people, you can be so clueless…" She murmured.

"W-what do you mean?" Kiku asked, blinking in confusion.

"Nevermind. Keep me updated on what happens between Shi-chan and Oikawa!" Yuuna exclaimed, turning around to leave.

She waved at Kiku who didn't have time to hold her back or say anything. She watched her friend leave, wondering why she was more and more distant everyday…

That day, laying on top of her bed, Kiku called Hajime, both discussing their days, and mostly, she talked about the discussions of the day with the girls.

" _Shinobu is in love with Oikawa?"_ He asked, sounding shocked.

"You really hadn't noticed…?" She answered, holding back a sigh.

" _Well, no. I don't really notice anymore after so many years of girls flocking to him, y'know."_

There was a pause before he spoke up again:

" _So, she's gonna confess to him?"_

"Mm, she wants to spend Christmas with him, so it should be soon."

" _Good luck, we always spend Christmas with our families. Which is why_ _ **you**_ _can't join me, because you'll be with_ _ **your**_ _family…"_ He grumbled _._

"You do realize that despite everything you usually say, you just admitted that Oikawa is family to you? You two spend Christmas together."

"… _Whatever. He doesn't want a girlfriend for the moment because of what happened with that Shiratorizawa girl. Doesn't Shinobu know that anyway?"_

"She said that they got closer."

" _He didn't tell me anything – not that he tells me much about his love life, anyway…"_

"We might go on double dates with them, then," she said with an amused smile.

" _Geh_ …"

She chuckled and she could guess his smile on the other side of the line. She quickly lost her joy.

"I'm worried about Yuuna… she doesn't seem well, and I've learned she's in love and broken-hearted but she didn't tell me anything. I hope she'll be okay… I can't help but think that there's more and more distance between us…" She said sadly.

" _Ah_ …" He answered, unsure on what he could say, knowing of Yuuna's feelings for _his_ girlfriend.

"I'm going to take my bath, I'll see you tomorrow, Hajime," she said, sitting up on her bed.

" _All right, see you tomorrow cupcake. And don't worry… I'm sure Yuuna will be okay."_

"…Thank you. Love you."

" _Love you too, cupcake."_

The following day, she and Hajime couldn't help but observe closely the behavior of Oikawa and Shinobu. Now knowing she had feelings for him, Iwaizumi realized that she was indeed, in love, but Oikawa, on the other hand… he acted with her the way he did with anyone else. Shinobu was hopefully blinded.

"Do you think you could talk to Oikawa?" Kiku asked Hajime in a low voice during lunch, making sure no one else would hear them.

"What? Are you crazy? He's gonna laugh at me! What even do you want me to _say?_ It doesn't concern me!"

"It concerns your _best friend_ ," she answered, "At least it'll keep him from being surprise when she'll confess."

"Firstly, he'll never be surprised by someone's confession – secondly, why don't _you_ go and talk to her and convince her there's no illusion to have?" He replied, frowning at her.

"Geeh… b-but…"

"Iwa-chan, Kiku-chan~!"

They both startled when Oikawa suddenly showed up next to them. He blinked, surprised by their unexplainable, embarrassed reaction.

"You're okay? You're being awfully quiet today," he said.

"O-oh, sorry, we were just… talking about…" Kiku started, turning helplessly towards her boyfriend.

"U-uh, we were talking about… aliens!"

"Aliens?" Oikawa repeated, confused but curious.

She nodded, before turning to frown at Hajime. He _had_ to choose the one topic that would get Oikawa even more curious. He made a weird face, shrugging his shoulders in a vague attempt of expressing that he had had no clue of what he had been doing. She sighed, turning towards Oikawa:

"I saw some videos about it last night and I was… um, confused about a few things. Which is why I asked Hajime."

"You should have asked _me_ , then! What are you confused about?"

"U-um…"

"About Roswell's events," Hajime said.

"OH! Then, let me give you an explanation~! It's _so_ interesting~! Do you want the short version or the long version?"

"The less troublesome version," Iwaizumi mumbled, earning an elbowing from his girlfriend.

"The short version will be enough, thank you," she said with a smile.

Oikawa was so enthusiastic that he completely forgot their weird behavior. They sent a look at each other, relieved but not knowing what to do about their friends.

Kiku and Hajime didn't have time to decide on what to do about them, whether they should say anything to either of the two, because after class, they learned from one of Oikawa's classmate that Shinobu had come to see him and asked to talk to him in private. They had left somewhere quiet and it didn't take long for everyone to figure out that another girl would confess to Oikawa.

"Iwaizumi!" Makki called when he saw the couple from afar, "Did you hear? Yukimura is confessing to Oikawa!"

"Yeah, we know. I don't see why everyone is making such a fuss."

"Well, no one has confessed to Oikawa since he told that girl in Mattsun's class that he didn't want to date to focus on his studies. Even though we all know it's because he has a thing for that Shiratorizawa girl!"

"Makki, you're not supposed to talk about it!" Kiku scolded, trying to hush him but no one paid them much attention, "Oikawa asked us to keep it a secret to not spread weird rumors!"

"I know, I know, don't worry! His whole story is still unbelievable–"

A series of gasp and whispers interrupted him as suddenly, Shinobu came back running and crying, ignoring the crowd of students.

"Shi-chan!" Kiku called, going after her for comfort.

"Oi!" Hajime called.

Kiku managed to catch up to Shinobu, grabbing her hand but she immediately pulled away:

"Leave me alone! It's all your fault! I should have never come to you!" She shouted.

Shocked, Kiku stared at her friend who held back a sob just as Iwaizumi and Hanamaki caught up with the girls. Hajime immediately put his hand on Kiku's shoulder, frowning at Shinobu.

"W-what do you mean?" Kiku asked hesitantly, "I-I didn't tell Oikawa-kun anything, a-and I just wanted to help you–"

"Cut it with your good nature!" She hissed, turning around to leave the school grounds.

"Oi! What's your problem?! You're friends, aren't you?!" Hajime exclaimed, protectively walking before Kiku to keep her safe from the harsh words.

Shinobu remained frozen a short moment before leaving without a word.

"What the heck?" Makki asked, blinking, "Ah! Oikawa!"

The setter came back, expression grim, he had obviously seen the entire scene. He glanced at Kiku then immediately looked down:

"I'm sorry, Kiku-chan, she shouldn't have let it out on you." He said.

"W-what do you mean? She– what happened?" Kiku asked in a trembling voice.

Oikawa seemed uncomfortable, glancing around and rubbing the back of his neck before sighing deeply, knowing he couldn't lie to his friend:

"Shi-chan confessed to me. And I rejected her."

"What else? She wouldn't have reacted like that against Kiku otherwise," Iwaizumi said, once again putting a comforting hand on his girlfriend's shoulder.

"…Shi-chan started saying that she didn't understand because her plan had been perfect. I asked her about it and she… admitted that the only reason why she befriended Kiku-chan was because she wanted to get close to me. I'm sorry…"

Hajime immediately turned towards Kiku whose eyes filled with tears. She quickly wiped them away, avoiding looking at her friends.

"It's okay… I… I should have known it…" She murmured sadly.

"Kiku…" Hajime whispered, taking her hand in his and squeezing.

She forced a smile but it didn't reach her eyes. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, quickly glancing at Oikawa and Hanamaki. They both understood that they should leave and Hajime quickly took Kiku home, staying with her a little longer than usual to make sure she was all right. She was shaken up, more by Shinobu's rejection than having been used all along. He remained calm and comforting as long as he was by her side but the moment he was on his way home… he was seething inside. He couldn't believe that Shinobu had had the nerve to befriend Kiku just to flirt with Oikawa! Fists clenched and jaw tight, he went to take a bath but couldn't relax and not long later, Oikawa wasn't surprised by his mood when he arrived in his bedroom.

"What did she say exactly? I'm going to–"

"Calm down, Iwa-chan, I'm sure Shi-chan didn't mean any harm. I'm sure there's an explanation for all this. She was hurt because of my rejection and that's why she reacted the way she did…" Oikawa explained with a shrug.

Iwaizumi sat down grumbling, arms crossed over his chest.

"All right. _Talk_."

"There isn't much I can add from what I've told you already, but like I said, Shinobu was in shock – she's not a bad girl, I'm sure she meant no harm." Oikawa said with a shrug.

"If she's such a good girl, why didn't you accept her feelings then?" Iwaizumi mumbled.

Oikawa looked hurt he'd think so lowly of him – even though he _had_ been dating girls for fickle reasons such as that.

"You _know_ why. Firstly, she's _really_ not my type – a nice girl and friend but that's it. And… I don't want to date girls without having feelings for them, not anymore. I want… to… I want to fall in love." He said, flushing a little and trying hard not to think of the girl from Shiratorizawa.

He had given up on her, he wouldn't pursue her, wouldn't try to find her, it was the best for them both. Who knew? She might even be _friend_ with this damn Ushiwaka and he wouldn't know it. It'd be terrible.

"…I know, you told me about it. And I respect your choice…" Iwaizumi sighed, shoulders going down, "But seriously, I'm never going to forgive Yukimura for hurting Kiku. Didn't she go through enough already?"

"The best we can do is wait for Shi-chan to calm down and then we'll ask what she meant by all this." Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi nodded grumpily and a few minutes later, he was leaving his friend to check on Kiku.

The following day, he went to get Kiku and she seemed much better than the previous day.

"Did something good happen?" He asked.

"I have you, so it's good! Also, I called Yuu-chan last night and we talked a lot… it helped. I'm glad that my friends, and my marvelous boyfriend, are all here. But… I would like to talk with Shinobu… I-I still don't really understand what happened…" She explained, wrapping her arm around his.

He entwined his fingers with hers and kissed her temple, slowly making their way to Aoba Jousai high-school, close to each other. It was only when they neared the school grounds that they put some more distance, because they were still too shy to show much physical touch in public. When they arrived in their classroom, Shinobu wasn't here yet, which was good in Hajime's opinion but Kiku only grew more and more nervous. When Shinobu finally arrived, head held high despite everyone glancing at her and whispering about the harsh rejection she had suffered, and right on time with the teacher, Kiku couldn't go to her. At break, Shinobu managed to escape long enough to make it, once again, impossible to talk. It was at lunch though that Kiku followed her relentlessly, Iwaizumi following the two to make sure everything would go well.

"Shi-chan! Wait!" Kiku called, finally catching up to Shinobu, "I just want to talk!"

"And I don't! I can't!" She exclaimed, trying to escape but Iwaizumi stood in the way.

She gave him an exasperated look and glanced quickly at Kiku, sighing and looking down.

"I don't want to talk, Kiku…"

"Because of what you did? Using her to get closer to Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asked in a rough voice.

Shinobu looked up at him, then hurt flashed in her eyes and she looked away once again.

"Because I snapped at you yesterday, Kiku… i-it wasn't your fault if Oikawa… _if_ …"

More tears came into her eyes and hesitantly, Kiku approached her, putting a hand on her arm.

"…Did you really become my friend because… you just wanted to get close to Oikawa-kun?" She asked in a low, sad voice.

Shinobu glanced up at her hesitantly, her eyes teary.

"Yes…" She admitted, lowering her head in shame, "I-I've been in love with Oikawa-san every since he offered me a flower, in our first-year… I never had the chance to get close to him, to get to know him or anything… we've never been in the same class, I never stood out and I'm not his type… b-but… when you started getting close to Iwaizumi – his best friend…"

Iwaizumi snorted annoyingly, rolling his eyes. It wasn't just Kiku who had been used – but both of them, their _relationship_ , just to get close to his best friend.

"I thought that if I was friend with you, when you two would be dating, I'd get close to Oikawa-san… a-and it worked."

Not knowing what to answer because she was still hurt by the actions of her 'friend', Kiku didn't say anything. Instead, it was Iwaizumi, with a surprisingly calm tone, who spoke up:

"You say you got close to Oikawa, but if you _really_ had, you would have known that he dislikes people who use others, trick and lie. You would know he wouldn't fall for a girl who kept up a mask all this time. He has a lot of flaws but he's honorable and honest. If you want him to fall for you, you should start acting like yourself."

Both Kiku and Shinobu looked at him, surprised by his words, his almost _encouragement_ …

"Y-you… don't want me to stay away from your friend after that?" Shinobu asked shyly, afraid the great Ace might get as rough as his appearance led to believe.

He huffed and he turned towards Kiku, offering her his hand. He took it softly as she smiled up to him.

"…Who am I to stop people from loving? If anyone can be as happy as we are, then I can only encourage them."

He tugged at Kiku's hand and they started walking back towards the school building, until Shinobu cried out:

"K-Kiku!"

She turned around just as Shinobu caught up with her, not quite understanding what was going on between them from now on:

"D-do you… do you forgive me?" She asked shyly.

Kiku's gaze wavered and she looked down, edging closer to Hajime.

"…I can't forgive you for using me and my relationship with Hajime but… at the very least, I know that not everything was a lie… right?" She answered with a small smile.

Shinobu was too glad to answer and she wiped away the few tears that threatened to escape her eyes.

Kiku and Hajime went back towards their classroom, in quiet, comforting silence. He looked down at her when she squeezed his hand tighter.

"You… really are the only one I can trust…" She murmured.

And he could see that no matter how good and forgiving and strong she had been, she was really hurt and really scared – that everyone she knew might reject her again. His heart clenched painfully, and he had to blink to not let tears fill his eyes.

"R-right…?" She continued in a breath.

He realized it was a question, not a statement. He stopped abruptly, tugging her hand strongly enough to drive her entire, unwavering attention on him, for their eyes to look into each other:

"I'm here, I'm always here. I promised, didn't I? That I'd always be here with you. You can trust me, like I trust you. It's a promise." He said, lifting up her hand to kiss it warmly.

She smiled, shoulders lowering as she relaxed once again, reassured to have him by her side no matter what.

Later that day, after school, Shinobu was sitting on a bench, right where she had met Oikawa three years ago or so. She looked up at the cherry tree, now nude of any pretty flower.

"May I sit next to you?"

She stood up at this voice, blushing terribly.

"O-Oikawa-san!" She exclaimed, about to run away.

But his smile. His smile made her melt and her legs turned into cotton. She didn't run away, only look down in shame before letting herself sit back on the bench. He sat next to her, keeping a respectable distance. There was silence for a short moment until Tooru handed her a flower. She looked at his hand and the flower, then looked up in shock at his face, not understanding what was going on.

"To be forgiven for hurting you," he said, understanding her silent question.

Too stunned, she hesitantly took it, remembering a few years ago when he had done the same innocent deed that had thrown her heart into a frenzy song. Now… it was beating a little stronger but it wasn't as crazy and overwhelming as it had been back there. She looked back at the young man, wondering if she had ever felt anything for him, if it had withered over time, or if she had imagined it.

"I wasn't surprised when you confessed to me, because you had been giving me signs for a while, but I had hoped it could have remained as we were. And even though I rejected and hurt you, I want you to know that you're still my friend. But that's only if you realize that what you've done is wrong – you shouldn't have used Kiku-chan or Iwa-chan for getting close to me. If you had wanted that badly to come to me, you could have. So why didn't you?"

Shinobu looked down at the flower on her lap, the wind making it tremble.

"I just chose the easy way…"

He wondered for a moment if his own choice, of letting go of the Shiratorizawa girl without knowing her, was the easy way… Was it a mistake? Was it wrong? Was it cowardly of him then? He quickly erased his doubts, turning towards the girl:

"Next time you fall in love, fight for it. Okay, Shi-chan?" He said, forcing a smile on his face.

"N-next time… b-but…"

"You're not really in love with me. You only like the idea of me, not _me_ for who I am. And if you had been in love at some point, it's not the case anymore. Am I right?" He asked hesitantly.

He smiled and, having said what needed to be said, he stood up to leave.

"O-Oikawa-san!" Shinobu called, making him turn away, "Y-you didn't tell me why… you rejected me…? Why you have been rejecting everyone since your last girlfriend. It's not because you want to focus on your studies, right?"

His eyes widened slightly, surprised she had guessed so – but at this point, practically everyone interested in him had somehow understood that something had happened to make him change his mind about dating.

"…You're right. It's only _partially_ for my studies. I… well, let's just say I had my eyes opened on what really matters." He said quickly.

"Are you… in love with someone…? Is it… Kiku?" She asked hesitantly.

He blinked, eyes wide, lips trembling to hold back a laugh – before actually getting annoyed:

"Why does everyone always assume that?! I don't like her like that! She's… she's a friend, but more than a friend… a sister, maybe? Yes, she's the little sister I never had!"

"She's older than you, though. In every aspect."

" _Geh!_ R-rude!"

Shinobu chuckled and it helped him relax.

"But you _are_ in love with someone. Who is it, if I may ask?" She asked curiously.

"I… I don't actually know. I don't know her name. A-and anyway! I'm not in love! It's just– a crush, maybe?! Yeah, a crush at best! What I realized is that I shouldn't waste my time with meaningless relationship, I'm waiting to fall in love to date someone! Just like Kiku-chan and Iwa-chan did, it's admirable! I want the same!" He exclaimed, stammering and flustered.

Shinobu stared at him before smiling, accepting that he had never liked her and never would. Even if he pretended the contrary, even if it wasn't being in love, he had someone in his heart already.

"Oikawa-san, thank you." She said with a smile.

He seemed a little surprised before smiling back and waving goodbye. Shinobu remained on the bench, looking down with a smile at the flower in her hand. She didn't remain alone for long though, because someone else arrived calmly, sitting next to her.

"I never understood what everyone finds him." Yuuna said with a little shrug, "Why did you even like him?"

"Yuuna! What are you…"

Her voice trailed off and she sighed, shrugging absentmindedly, mostly to hide her embarrassment.

"H-he's, well he's… he's… Oikawa-san… you know…" She answered sadly.

Yuuna had a little, knowing smile, her gaze full of gentle pity. Shinobu then turned to her:

"And you? What do you like about Kiku?"

Yuuna startled before opening and closing her mouth.

"S-she… she's…"

She stopped breathing a short moment, the expression she had had a moment ago now mirrored on Shinobu's face. Yuuna looked up at the setting sun, thoughtful.

"I'm certain there was a time I could have answered but now… I'm not so sure anymore…"

"I suppose that love is like a gentle fire. It has to be kept alive to keep burning. Time eventually takes it out. And you've been in love with Kiku for longer than whatever I ever felt for Oikawa-san. I… I'm not one to talk but… perhaps you should let her go? It took me confessing, being rejected _and_ realizing that I didn't feel anything to feel better…"

"Do you… _really_ feel better?"

"…No, it still sucks. But… it could be worse… I think…"

Yuuna chuckled and Shinobu put her hand on her shoulder:

"Perhaps you should tell Kiku how you feel, and let go of your feelings. It'll be best for you both, especially you…"

She hesitated before nodding lightly, without looking convinced it'd help in any way to confess to the girl she had liked for so long…

"Here," Shinobu said, offering Yuuna the flower she had been holding.

Yuuna stared at her, stunned by her action then shyly took it.

"T-thank you…" She answered with a smile, turning red.

It took Shinobu by surprise who flushed as well. Maybe it was the setting sun, though – yeah, that was what they both liked to think.

The following days, it was very awkward for Shinobu who suddenly felt very alone. But Kiku didn't want their friendship to end, which had been more real than whatever lies Shinobu had approached her for. So at lunch, someday, she joined Shinobu and of course Iwaizumi didn't leave his girlfriend's side, and of course Oikawa joined them to eat, and so did Mattsun and Makki and it was the same as usual. And finally the most expected holiday, the Christmas holidays, arrived.

"Aaaah! We're finally having a break! All this studying for the finals is killing me!" Oikawa whined, dropping on Iwaizumi's bed while he was playing videogames with Godzilla on his laps.

"Be glad it'll stop for you after high-school," Iwaizumi mumbled.

"You could become a model too, if you learned how to smile and not frown all the time, and be amiable," Oikawa answered, rolling on his side with a mocking side.

Not amused by the proposition, Iwaizumi turned to him, frowning down at his friend. Oikawa's lips trembled in amusement:

"Or if you were taller," he added with a wink.

Iwaizumi grabbed a random jacket resting next to him and threw it at his friend's face, Oikawa gasping but his laugh muffled.

"I'll have you know that I grew past 180cm! I'm 180,2cm now!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, being very proud of _finally_ reaching the 180s.

"You grew up a little late, we're not playing on the team anymore – too bad that you reached your most desired height _after_ we retired. You were being teased _all_ the time for being the shortest of us all."

"And _who_ was teasing me the most, uh?" Iwaizumi grumbled, glaring at the one who _was_ the most teasing.

"You still need a few more centimeters to reach _my_ height!"

Not having any more weapon under his hand, Iwaizumi reached to push him off, Oikawa dramatically rolling on his back. He started staring at the ceiling, half wondering what his alien lady was up to for the holidays… He quickly tried to ignore the longing he felt, turning towards his friend who had put down his game to take care of Godzilla, the poor bearded-dragon having been shaken up by the friends' shenanigan.

"I wonder what Kiku-chan is doing, especially now that it's so weird with Shi-chan. I'm surprised you and Kiku-chan aren't glued together, considering you won't spend Christmas together."

"She's spending the day with Yuuna, doing the last Christmas shopping." Iwaizumi answered.

"Mmmm…"

 _In the same time, in Sendai… _

Going through the Christmas Market, Yuuna and Kiku admired all the happiness shining in all the families and people of the crowd. The Christmas lights were sparkling but nothing was brighter than Kiku's smile. Yuuna couldn't stop staring, but she felt different from usual – there wasn't the same warmth in her chest whenever she looked as Kiku, like she used to. Ever since Kiku has been dating Hajime, Yuuna had slowly tried letting go of her feelings and even if it hurt… she had to admit that what she felt now was friendship and more, but nothing like the love she had once cherished.

"The Christmas tree is so beautiful this year! We went here with Hajime the other day, it was so beautiful and romantic~!" Kiku exclaimed when they stopped to watch the Christmas tree for a moment.

"A-ah… r-really?" Yuuna asked, flushing a little and glancing away.

"By the way… you still haven't told me anything about this person you like. I know he broke your heart but you can tell me, you know? I-I'm your friend and I don't want you to think you can't talk to me…" Kiku continued, finally talking about the topic she had wished to talk about since it had been mentioned.

Yuuna startled, her cheeks reddening, suddenly at a loss at what she should say. She had expected Kiku to mention it, but with the day going by and no word coming from her friend, she had hoped… she had hoped Kiku had forgotten all about it.

"It… it's in the past…" Yuuna breathed, looking down, "T-this person… didn't break my heart on purpose and this person is happy so… I'm happy too…" She explained, being as vague as possible.

"But… you didn't tell me anything… I am aware that for a long time you didn't open up much to me because you were scared that it would be too much for me to handle with… you know, everything I had to deal with… But you were always here for me and I don't want you to think that I'm not here for you as well – though… I might say that a little too late…" Kiku said, looking with a sad smile at the ground.

She looked up at her best friend, unshed tears in her eyes that made them shine even brighter than usual, as beautiful as a kaleidoscope with all the Christmas lights sparkling around them.

"You're my best friend after all, Yuuna!" She exclaimed with a bright smile.

"N-not even Hajime…?" She asked in a low, trembling voice.

"Hajime and I… it's different! He's been here for me, he's always here for me, but he wasn't here when I felt like my life wasn't worth it. He hasn't seen all the dark parts of me yet… and I hope he never will. But _you_ did and you stayed by my side, it makes you someone just as precious as he is for me!" Kiku explained.

Yuuna's eyes filled with grateful tears, not realizing how much she had needed these words – to know that she was important, _precious_ for Kiku, as much as she was for her…

"K-Kiku…" She whispered in a broken voice.

Perhaps the words that had warmed her heart were dizzying her too much, perhaps the magic of the Christmas lights was blinding her… but Yuuna reached out to take Kiku's hand in hers, their skins separated with their gloves.

"It's you… it's always been you…" Yuuna whispered.

Kiku blinked, not understanding what she meant with such an emotional voice:

"Yuuna?"

Yuuna realized what she was saying but it was too late – despite the frenetic, slightly panicked beatings of her heart, she needed to say it. At least once. To let her go once and for all.

"Y-you're the one I like… I've been in love with you for so long…" Yuuna said.

Kiku's heart sped up, her cheeks turning red but she immediately looked away, not believing these words.

"W-what are you… y-you're… you've always… been here for me… you supported me through everything…"

"Why else would I do that if not out of love?" Yuuna said, holding with both of her hands Kiku's, forcing her to look up, "I-I know I'm not the guy you like, I'm not Hajime and you like him b-but… I can't help but hope… you said it yourself! I've seen all the dark parts of you, I understand you in ways he never will – we're… we could– we _should_ be together, Kiku! I… I'm in love with you!" She exclaimed, cheeks red and happy tears rolling down her cheeks.

Kiku stared at her, blushing furiously and not sure how to feel about the sudden, unexpected revelation – the words she never thought she'd hear from her best friend… but it would explain why Yuuna had always put her before anything, supporting her through anything… even supporting her in her love for Hajime…

Yuuna observed closely Kiku's face, seeing all the conflicting emotions going through her head. When Kiku looked up, eyes still glossy with tears, Yuuna couldn't control herself. She leaned down, pressing her lips against Kiku's. Kiku's eyes widened and she gasped but it wasn't enough to stop Yuuna who kept kissing her. Frozen in shock, Kiku didn't react until a few seconds later when she stepped away and pulled away her hands from Yuuna's, blushing even more and looking down.

Yuuna stared at her, lips open in shock – from the reaction and also at the realization of what she had done…

A long, heavy silence fell on them.

"I… I-I had never… realized… I-I'm sorry… I hurt you all this time…" Kiku murmured, staring at the ground.

"N-no, I…"

Yuuna shook her head then turned away.

"I'm sorry!" She cried out, suddenly running away.

"Y-Yuuna, wait!"

Kiku watched her best friend run off, whose heart she had involuntarily broken, over and over again for years and just here once more… Hands trembling, she raised her fingers to her lips, blushing and filling tears in her eyes. She remained still in the middle of the crowd, happy for Christmas. She wasn't looking at the Christmas tree and the Christmas lights as cheerfully as a moment ago…

 _Later that night…_

Hajime was surprised when he heard ringing at the door. They weren't expecting anyone today and Oikawa was gone – he hadn't forgotten anything and he wouldn't bother ringing anyway… He went to open the door and blinked when he saw Kiku.

"Kiku! What are you…"

His voice trailed off when she looked up at him sadly.

"Kiku, what happened?"

"…Did you know that Yuuna was… that she was in love with me?" She asked.

Hajime's shoulders dropped and he looked down, not knowing how to answer to that. Kiku sighed, having expected such a thing.

"You _did_ know… why didn't you tell me anything?" She asked, looking up with pleading eyes.

He opened and closed his lips before sighing:

"It wasn't my job to say anything about her feelings…"

"Y-you're right but… I-I had no idea that she…"

"If it can be of any comfort, it took Yuuna confronting me about not letting you be with me or something along those lines to understand that she liked you…" Hajime answered, pouting a little.

"You didn't listen to her."

"If I had listened to her and given up so easily on you, it would have been the proof I truly didn't deserve you." He said with a firm voice that made her look up at him, "So… I suppose… she confessed?"

Kiku flushed, nodding awkwardly. He wasn't sure what to do or say in this situation – he wasn't good with love and relationship stuff to begin with, Kiku being the only exception, but when it was his girlfriend's best friend who turned out being in love with her… Gods, he was at a loss. It was as if Oikawa ended up having _romantic feelings_ for _him_ – Hajime shivered just thinking of it. But seeing Kiku so confused and hurt – not to be liked by a girl, but because she had involuntarily hurt her best friend, was breaking _his_ heart.

Hajime let go of the door and opened his arms, Kiku stared at him very quickly before diving into his arms, burying her face in his chest. She held onto him tightly while he wrapped his arms around her for comfort and warmth, kissing the top of her head.

"It's gonna be okay… Yuuna never gave up on you, you won't lose her…" He murmured, knowing that she was scared of this scenario.

He took her into his bedroom for more privacy, caressing her back as she explained what had happened and comforting her until she felt better – she only avoided talking about the kiss, which she still wasn't sure what to think of. Laying on the bed, she was pressed against him as she said everything, his fingers never stopping to caress her shoulder or hair.

"…Rejecting people sucks…" She concluded, burying her face in his chest.

He pouted, remembering all the times he had to turn down some girls' confessions. He couldn't even begin to imagine how awkward it must be if it came from the same sex – or from a best friend.

"I'm sure she didn't expect anything from you, not seriously, she was taken into the heat of the moment. She's probably regretting it all right now…"

"Would she? She finally… said how she felt after so many years… gods… I can't believe I hadn't figured it out earlier… all the times I talked about you… all the times it must have hurt her so badly… but she always smiled and encouraged me…"

He kissed her forehead, turning on his side to face her:

"Have you tried contacting her yet?" He asked gently.

She shook her head no, not daring to meet his eyes.

"Do you feel ready to talk to her?" He continued.

"If she calls me, I'd answer but… I'm still too confused to contact her myself."

"Then, wait to be ready if she doesn't contact you until then. If you want me with you when you'll talk… I don't mind. And if you need to talk about it, I'm here. Okay, cupcake?"

She nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. He kissed her forehead again, before looking right into her eyes, very seriously:

"Let me ask you something, though. You don't… it didn't change anything between _us_ , right?"

She blinked, staring into his beautiful green eyes, filled with… worry… She couldn't help but chuckle in amusement.

"Are you _jealous?"_ She asked in astonishment, raising on her elbow to look down at him.

"I wouldn't call it 'jealousy'," he mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"You _are_ jealous!" She exclaimed, laughing at the ridiculousness of it.

He huffed, mumbling to himself incoherent words. Her laugh quickly turned off his mumbling because she leaned down once again, her fingers brushing his cheek and her eyes diving into his.

"You don't have to worry, my darling. She's not you. _No one_ is… I could _never_ fall for someone else but you…" She whispered.

He sighed, his breath hitting her face as relief helped him relax. She smiled, leaning down to kiss him tenderly. He kissed her back, his hand against her cheek, and fingers into her hair.

Once ready to confront Yuuna about what had happened, Kiku tried contacting her but she wouldn't answer, she gave her all the time she might need, knowing from Shinobu that she was okay. Shinobu was the bridge between the two, making sure to check on Yuuna for Kiku's reassurance. Then Christmas arrived and for a few days, away with their respective families, they were all distracted.

It was just before New Year that Kiku received a message from Yuuna, asking her to meet, like every year, in front of the shrine where they usually went praying. She told Hajime who decided to go – they had planned to go to the shrine together anyway. Hearing about their plans, Oikawa obviously decided to tag along (he had heard the whole story from Iwa-chan, and he had told Makki and Mattsun _obviously_ ). Yuuna was already here when they arrived, and she didn't seem surprised to see the two young men.

"We'll wait just a little further away, okay?" Hajime said, squeezing Kiku's hand and giving the girls some intimacy – but he kept a close eye on Yuuna's behaviour.

Kiku turned towards Yuuna, smiling, even though it felt a little strange:

"You could have sent me a message to tell me how you felt. I was worried." She said, in a scolding tone.

"Shinobu gave you updates, didn't she?" Yuuna answered, pouting guiltily.

"Thank goodness, she did!"

They exchanged a smile and there was a short moment of silence until Kiku spoke up again:

"How do you feel now?"

Yuuna looked around, noticing Hajime's wary eyes but she smiled when she looked back at Kiku:

"It was difficult at first because I thought you'd hate me or that you'd stop wanting to see me, being, y'know… in love with you… but… and it was something I had started realizing for a while now, but I'm certain I had fallen out of love before confessing."

"Oh…"

"Christmas, the magic of the moment, the things you said… I-I just had to say it, y'know? And Shinobu had advised me to confess to let you go and then, I had plenty of time to think and…"

She hesitated on what to say next but she smiled anyway:

"I've come to terms about being attracted to girls for a long time, and being in love with you was more happiness than hardship – you are so pure and happy about being alive, despite the darkness, you shine so brightly it's impossible not to rejoice to be by your side, regardless of the relationship. _Now_ , I feel much better. I'm not saying I'm not attracted to you anymore, you'll always be my first love and it's special, and if your boyfriend ever breaks your heart, I'm here to make you fall in love with _me_ this time. But… I'll be okay, Kiku. As long as we can… remain friends…?"

Kiku stared at Yuuna for a moment, then smiled brightly:

"Of course we remain friends!" She exclaimed, going to hug her best friend.

Yuuna smiled in relief. Hajime sighed to himself, glad to know nothing would change between them, despite the confession from Yuuna.

"Come on, let's go to the shrine!" Kiku exclaimed, dragging Yuuna towards the boys.

She quickly wrapped her arms around Hajime's, the couple and their best friends alongside to pray for the New Year. Suddenly smirking, Yuuna turned towards Kiku:

"There is just one thing I need to ask you, Kiku."

"Mmm?"

"Between me and your boyfriend, which one kisses better?"

Kiku stopped, gasping and blushing while Hajime huffed, frowning at Yuuna:

"It's obvious that– wait… WAIT! Did you–? Did _she?!_ She kissed you?! You kissed her?! You kissed my girlfriend?!"

"It seemed right at the moment." Yuuna answered with a shrug and smirk.

"How could you– _Kiku!_ Why didn't you tell me?!" He hissed, turning towards her, blushing at the memory.

"It… didn't seem relevant at the moment."

"It didn't seem rele– _of course_ it's fucking relevant! She kissed you!"

"Iwa-chan, looks like you're in for some hardship~!" Oikawa hummed in between laughs.

"Stop laughing, it's not funny!" Iwaizumi shouted at him before whipping towards Yuuna who didn't stop grinning, _"You!_ You'd better not try something like that again!"

"Unless she asks for more."

Iwaizumi gasped, almost choking, while Kiku hid her face behind her hands and Oikawa almost fell on the ground from laughing too much.

"She's my girlfriend!"

"She's my best friend."

They faced each other, growling or smirking depending on the person. Oikawa slid next to Kiku, putting his hands on her shoulders to whisper in her ear:

"From now on, they'll _openly_ fight for you~!"

She turned to him, panicked at the idea _this_ might keep going – and unfortunately, it didn't seem like it would change anytime soon.

Of course, Oikawa, and Makki and Mattsun were the ones to enjoy the most the stories and anecdotes that came out of this.

Everything seemed back to normal until someday at practice, after the Spring-High that Seijou had watched from Miyagi, the third-years having come exceptionally to the volleyball practice for a practice match against the new team, an unexpected event radically changed Kiku and Hajime's lives.

The entire team, former members and current members together, like good old times, were putting away everything after their intense practice match, the night already fallen outside.

"Make sure to stretch correctly!" Mizoguchi reminded them.

"Ooooss!"

Kiku and he put some stray volley balls into the carts, the former manager smiling at the familiar atmosphere.

"It's so much more erratic without you… It was much easier when you were there – they listened to _you_ , you know." He complained, feeling like his work was so much more exhausting.

"I talked to Makki's little sister who will enter Aoba Jousai next year, she is willing to be the next manager. It should make things easier for you all." Kiku answered with a smile.

"Unless she's like her brother."

"She's actually worse."

"Why would you want her to become the manager then?"

She chuckled, knowing the coach was just pretending to be annoyed.

"Um…"

Everyone in the gymnasium turned around curiously, seeing some unknown man at the entrance of their gymnasium. He wasn't part of the high-school's staff and was wearing casual clothes. He didn't stand out in any way. He looked around the gymnasium, looking at everyone, lost and a little awkward.

"Can I help you?" Irihata asked, approaching the man.

"Um, yes. I was told that Akiyama Kiku would be here?" He asked.

Everyone seemed even more confused, especially Irihata and Hajime, the latter glancing at his girlfriend. Kiku came out from behind Mizoguchi, approaching the man and her uncle.

"It's me. Can I do anything for you?" She asked, a little shyly.

The man stared at her with an uncomfortably firm gaze, his mouth falling open. He stared for so long that Kiku flushed and felt awkward, glancing quickly at Hajime who started approaching, eying suspiciously the man.

"You… look just like her…" The man murmured, something close to awe in his voice.

Kiku felt her heart speed up, panic filling her veins. She stared back at the man whose dark eyes didn't stop staring at her. Afraid to ask the question but unable to bear the continuing silence, she spoke up again:

"Do I… know you?" She asked in a low, trembling voice.

He seemed hesitant, opening and closing his lips. Then he reached for his hat, taking it off to introduce himself.

"I'm your father."

Kiku opened and closed her lips, eyes wide, staring into the man's dark eyes. She didn't see anything that might have felt familiar. Her heart was beating wildly and her mind was in turmoil. She was aware of sounds all around her but it was smothered and she couldn't understand anything, it was all just dizzying.

A hand on her shoulder startled her and she looked up, seeing Hajime looking down at her worriedly. It brought her back on earth and she realized that the whole team was now whispering curiously, staring at the man and not understanding what was going on. Irihata approached the man and dragged him outside the gymnasium to talk away from the teenagers.

"You're okay?" Hajime asked her softly, his hand brushing the length of her arm until their hands touched.

Her fingers trembled against his and even if they usually avoided being too touchy-feely in public, especially in the gymnasium, she couldn't help but grasp at his hand. He squeezed back for comfort and she let out a heavy sigh.

"I-I'm not sure…" She answered.

Hajime stared at her then glanced over his shoulder at Oikawa, silently asking him to handle the team. He wanted to take his girlfriend away from here, but they wouldn't be able to avoid meeting the man who was most probably in the hallway with Irihata. Perhaps if they waited or–

Before he could find a solution, Kiku started advancing towards the hall right where the man pretending to be her father and Irihata were – her steps were hurried but confused, as if she was as impatient as she was scared to get to her destination. He followed her closely and Mizoguchi shouted orders to the team that erupted in loud voices.

Kiku stopped at the gymnasium's entrance, staring from afar at the two men discussing. Irihata was listening with furrowed eyebrows the explanations from the man but she had barely stepped there that he looked up and saw her. The man pretending to be her father took a step towards Kiku but Irihata grabbed his shoulder, stopping him:

"Hold on, you can't just appear like that and talk to her without her consent. Like I said, I'm her uncle and–"

" _Adoptive_ uncle," the man corrected calmly, "I'm her biological father, I have the right to talk to her."

Irihata was so shocked by the man's words that it took him a moment to find an answer – the right amount of time for the man to walk closer to Kiku who, not quite knowing what to do, approached as well (mostly to get away from the team).

"I have looked for you for so long! How you've grown!" He exclaimed, looking her up and down.

His gaze landed on Iwaizumi and he hesitated before addressing him:

"And you are?" He asked, sounding kinder than Iwaizumi would have expected him to.

"I'm her boyfriend." He answered, putting a protective hand on Kiku's shoulder.

"Oh…"

There was a moment of awkward silence until the man looked back at Kiku who kept staring at him warily:

"Can we talk, please?"

"Whatever you have to tell her _now_ , you can say so with me and coach Irihata here." Iwaizumi said in a strong voice.

"It's not your choice to make, boy, but hers." He said, nodding towards Kiku.

She startled when all three men turned to her, she hesitated before reaching and grabbing Hajime's shirt, silently asking him to stay with her. He turned a triumphant look towards the man who kept his lips thin but nodded respectfully. He turned completely towards Kiku:

"My name is Hashimoto Noburu. I-I have been looking for you for many years now… I can't quite believe I finally meet you… Your mother… her name was Mizushima Mei and– here, I brought a picture."

He ruffled through his wallet and showed an old picture, damaged in the corners, of a younger version of himself with a laughing woman. Kiku blinked while Hajime's eyes widened – she looked so much like Kiku that it was impossible to not think they were related. More than mother and daughter, they could be sisters… The same auburn hair, the same blue eye, the same features. The only difference was that Kiku was much curvier than Mizushima Mei. On the picture, the couple – Mizushima Mei and Hashimoto Noburu – must have been around the age of Kiku and Hajime, just high-school.

"She… would have wanted meeting you, I know it. She didn't spend a day not thinking of you." He added, a little melancholic as he watched the picture.

"You're talking in the past?" Irihata asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hashimoto hesitated before lowering his head:

"Car accident, thirteen years ago, just five years after your birth." He answered.

Hajime glanced back at Kiku – the dates fit with Kiku's estimated birth. She was a year older than the rest of the third-years. The picture, the dates, he couldn't be lying… right? But then… _why?_

Without a word, Kiku gave back the picture, still not quite believing what was happening right now. There was a long silence, no one speaking up anymore, which proved that nothing could be said. Finally, Kiku opened her lips but then, the team started emerging from the gymnasium, walking into the hall to go home after practice. They curiously glanced at the group of people before hurrying away, not daring to speak up while Kiku and their former Ace were around. Oikawa and Yahaba made sure to shoo away the few ones who were too curious and soon enough, Kiku, Hajime, Irihata and Hashimoto were all alone once again.

"I… I don't understand…" Kiku finally murmured, looking up at the man calling himself her father.

He seemed confused before she cleared up:

"Why are you here?"

She sounded strange, unlike herself – bitter and sharp. Hajime squeezed her shoulder, but she didn't seem to notice, too lost in her own sad confusion.

"I told you– I wanted to meet you and I looked for you for years now and–"

"I _heard_ the first time you said that, but why are you here _now?_ Why did you want to meet me at all when you… gave me up at birth?" She continued, her voice now turning hurt.

Hashimoto Noburu kept his lips thin, remaining silent for a while.

Kiku stared at him, expecting an answer, a reaction, anything, but he remained as dark and silent as she had imagined he would be. It wasn't that she had always wanted to meet her biological parents, but like every adopted or abandoned child she had questions. Who were they? Where did she come from? Why did they abandon her? Over the years she had thought of many possibilities, but since she had been adopted by the Akiyama, she didn't ask herself these questions anymore – she had her family, there was no reason looking back and hoping for anything. She was just curious, she didn't think she'd care or feel anything regardless of the answers, but she _needed_ them to understand her own existence. If they didn't want of her, _why_ have her at all? Why be so cruel and abandon her in the middle of garbage bins to die? What was the point of her life if she was never wanted by her parents?

When he didn't say anything, she shook her head to chase the tears away, turning around to leave.

"It's a long story." Noburu finally said to keep her from leaving.

Kiku froze, hesitating and Iwaizumi placed himself between her and her biological father:

"Make it short then." He said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at the man.

"Iwaizumi, stay calm." Irihata warned.

Noburu stared at the teenager, a little challengingly, but decided to not cause a scene and sighed.

"Mei and I were in high-school together and it's not difficult for you to understand what happened – we fell in love and we became a couple. But both of our families were very traditional and restrictive, so we had to keep our relationship a secret."

Kiku turned around, still hiding behind Hajime, while the man continued:

"It was a time of social revolution all across the world and we were young, in love and foolish. I am sure you understand, being… young yourselves. You two seem very close so… I suppose you must have been together for a while, right?" He continued, pointing at the couple.

They glanced at each other, hesitating before nodding to answer his question.

"Mei got pregnant – we were both responsible, of course, but we found out too late and we got scared. I was ready to marry her to not bring shame to her name, but her family disowned her when they found out about her pregnancy. My family didn't wait long to do the same. We were two teenagers, alone, about to be parents, with nowhere to go and no perspective for the future…"

He shook lightly his head as if he couldn't believe how foolish they had been.

"I met a man, a distant relative from my family, who was willing to help us. He would offer us a house and for me, a job, all the while preserving our good names, which was everything we needed but at the condition that Mei's pregnancy was never known."

Kiku didn't say anything but she held Hajime's hand, discreetly enough that neither Hashimoto nor Irihata noticed. The couple knew what was coming next, but the words still hurt Kiku more than she would have expected.

"With this condition, which was our only hope for a future, we had to give you up. Mei spent the rest of her pregnancy hidden away, the birth happened in secret as well – I remember, it was on April 21st – and we made sure no one would find out the truth about you."

Kiku let out a shaky breath – because she had been found in the street, there was no way to know her exact birth – somewhere around mid and end of April and _she_ had decided to just settle for May 1st to make things easier. She had a date of birth. April 21st. She had to fight to not start crying.

"Why… a dumpster? Why not just give me off to the adoption services? Why did you leave me to _die?"_ She hissed, her burning, crying eyes staring at the man whose stupidity had ruined her life.

"Even if we remain anonymous, it's possible to track back to the biological parents, we couldn't afford it. But we made sure you would be well taken care of – I left you near the closest hospital."

He smiled, as if it made things any better.

Hajime let his lips fall open, suddenly struck by murderous intent but the overall shock was too strong.

She hadn't thought she'd feel much hurt or sadness upon knowing the truth, at worst, a sting. But it was like a sword piercing her heart.

"You think it makes things any better…?" Hajime started, voice low and dangerous, "You left your daughter to die, giving her up to the cold and animals! She barely survived! Because of your own stupidity!" He exclaimed.

"We were young and disowned, we had no other way! If your girlfriend were to get pregnant, don't pretend you would have done anything else!" He replied, pointing at the couple, Kiku still frozen and her gaze lost.

Hajime stepped back, as if the insult had physically hurt him.

"No, I wouldn't! I wouldn't leave Kiku alone, I wouldn't abandon my child! If we're stupid enough for that to happen, we'll face the consequences and not take the easy way!" He exclaimed, glancing quickly at Kiku who had woken up from her numbness with his words, "I… I can't talk for you, Kiku, but I… I know with your experience what it does to a child to be abandoned and… I would never do that. To you and the child."

She stared at him, stunned but happy by his words even though… the relief didn't quite reach her eyes. The story told by her biological father was still too fresh and hurtful.

Irihata, glad but not surprised that Iwaizumi would take his responsibilities in this possibility (which he prayed wouldn't happen), opened his lips to speak up but once again, he was ignored by Hashimoto:

" _Please!_ You're only saying that because you're not faced with such a situation! If you ever get the same problem as Mei and I did, you'd make the same choice!"

"Problem? That's what you're looking for then? To find your _problematic_ child after all these years?" Hajime concluded, seething at the term of 'problem' the man had used.

He felt Kiku's hand tremble, he felt guilty for not giving up the topic. She was about to turn away but Hashimoto's voice stopped her:

"I want to _fix_ my mistakes." He said, looking right into Hajime's gaze but he wasn't convinced.

"Too late. Your mistake was to abandon your child to die – you left her to die and left her to a life of misery and self-hatred! She'll have to live the rest of her life with these scars _you_ brought upon her! Just because you couldn't keep your hands off your girlfriend!" He continued, taking a step forward.

"Iwaizumi, calm down," Irihata said, standing in between the two before a fight started.

The Ace was tempted to scream that _he_ _was calm_ , but the respect he held for the coach and uncle of his girlfriend kept him from doing so. He just clenched his jaw and fists. And that was when he realized that he didn't have Kiku's hand in his anymore. He turned around, but she had stepped away, letting her hand drop away from his.

"Kiku? A-are you okay?" He asked, immediately going to her.

Her gaze was lost, in her past sadness and all the bad memories surging forth. Hajime tried to hug her for reassurance, but she pulled away and turned around, leaving him stunned.

"I… I've heard enough…" She breathed.

Hajime glanced quickly at Irihata who nodded but Kiku was already walking away, in a hurried pace but with clumsy steps.

"Kiku, wait! I'll walk you home!" He exclaimed, going after her.

Irihata turned towards Hashimoto, staring at him for a long moment, until the man had no choice but to face him.

"…I don't get why you would come back in her life so suddenly. But you're not welcome. Leave her alone, she finally found peace, she doesn't need you to come and ruin it all." He said in a hard voice, turning around to close the gymnasium and check on Kiku as soon as possible – but he trusted Iwaizumi to watch over her.

Hashimoto glanced at Irihata then lowered his head and left the gymnasium and high-school grounds, the night already fallen.

Oikawa and Hanamaki were the only ones left, having taken Iwaizumi and Kiku's bags and waiting for them. To give the bags back and obviously, for moral support for both and especially the young girl. Kiku suddenly arrived, walking quickly but keeping her head down. Hajime was almost running after all and even if they couldn't see Kiku's expression, the Ace was distressed enough to prove that things had turned out as they had feared: Kiku's wounds reopened by her biological father showing up out of nowhere. Oikawa and Hanamaki glanced at each other just as they arrived near them.

"Here's your bag," Makki told the girl.

She startled, as if she hadn't noticed them here and quickly grabbed the bag, her lips moving to thank him but no sound escaping her throat. She walked the few meters separating her from her bicycle and started frenetically taking off the lock.

"What happened? Is he really her father?" Oikawa asked in a hushed voice to Iwaizumi.

He nodded darkly, taking his own bag from his friend's hands.

"I can't believe he suddenly showed up… but there's practically no doubt that he's telling the truth…" He mumbled.

"How are you?" Oikawa asked worriedly his friend.

"…This answer will depend on how _Kiku_ feels… she's… she's not okay right now…" He said, keeping his gaze down.

The sound of her bicycle made them look up and they saw Kiku already climbing on her bicycle and taking off.

"Wait! Kiku! I'll walk you home!" Hajime exclaimed.

"I'll go with you, it's the same way for me anyway," Makki said with a shrug.

"I'm going too–" Oikawa said.

"Kiku! Slow down!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, starting to hurry after Kiku.

She didn't seem to hear them – or listen. He could understand that she wanted to get away but she was cycling too fast, he couldn't keep up and there was no way he'd leave her alone now.

"Damn it…!" He swore, starting to run after her.

"W-wait! Iwa-chan!"

Oikawa and Hanamaki glanced at each other before starting running too, but slower – they weren't quite as desperate as their friend to catch up to Kiku.

Kiku was in a daze, not realizing how fast her legs were cycling. She was out of breath within seconds and she realized that it wasn't caused by the physical effort – she couldn't breathe because she was _panicking_. The tears that had filled her eyes were stinging and burning, everything was blurry but she didn't care, continuing forward desperately.

Her bicycle's wheel fell into a hole on the road and her bicycle stopped abruptly, almost flying off. She almost fell forward too, if the handles hadn't stopped her from losing her balance. Now standing on her feet and brought back on earth from the violent shock, she tried taking a deep breath, but a sob escaped her throat instead. Dropping her bicycle, she didn't realize she was in the middle of the road when she started sobbing and crying, her hands wiping away the endless tears.

All this pain she had to go through and _for what?_ Because her biological parents weren't careful in high-school and had families who disowned them.

She was abandoned in the street, in the middle of garbage bins, barely making it out alive, she went through all the worst parts of the adoption system and will leave the rest of her life covered in scars – literally and metaphorically. _For what?_ Because her biological parents hadn't been careful, because they were terrible, selfish beings who put their own well-being before their child's…!

She was _finally_ happy and at peace with herself and her life – why would this man come back now to ruin it all?

" _KIKU!"_

Hearing Hajime's voice, and mostly the panicked tone of his voice, she looked up but froze, blinded by the lights of a truck coming right her way. She stopped breathing, her entire vision turning white.

* * *

 _Suggestion: reread the last quote at the beginning of the chapter._

 _I hope you liked it! Very soon there will be Aliens, Oikawa's story posted, and the conclusion of this story!_

 _NEXT CHAPTER: PROMISES_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	58. Promise

_It took me a while to finish writing this chapter and the epilogue, partly ebcause I was busy and mostly becasue it was difficult to end this story... But here it is, the epilogue will arrive in a few hours! :D_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Hopefully you'll scream again, though it's a calm ending! ;) _

_**Aquafin** : Happy birthday, a litlte late! :D_

 _ **mikohoshina** : A fluffy ending? Mmmm... I'll let you be the judge of that! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER LVIII : Promise

" _I'm here. I wouldn't go away. I'm always here."_

— **Ernest Hemingway**

" _Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn't apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn't say sorry for falling. Feelings just are."_

— **Iain S. Thomas**

" _Actually that's my secret — I can't even talk about you to anybody because I don't want any more people to know how wonderful you are."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender is the Night**

" _If we are the same person before and after we love, that means we haven't loved enough."_

— **Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love**

" _I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it—I will love you through that, as well. If you don't need the medication, I will love you, too. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."_

― **Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love**

" _Silence is also conversation."_

— **Ramana Maharshi**

" _The sweetest of all sounds is that of the voice of the woman we love."_

— **Jean de la Bruyère**

" _The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul until you find a crack, and then gently pour your love into that crack."_

— **Keith Miller**

" _Depression can take away your self-confidence, but it doesn't take away your kindness. Some of the greatest people I've ever met, struggle with depression; and every one of them would give you the shirt right off their back."_

— **William Chapman**

" _The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it."_

— **Brené Brown**

" _If I ever saw a glimmer of sadness in her eyes,_

 _I'd die a hundred times inside."_

— **Puran Chand, The Side Effects of Love**

" _Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive."_

— **Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre**

" _The scar meant that I was stronger than what had tried to hurt me."_

— **Jeannette Walls**

" _That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable."_

— **Deb Caletti, The Fortunes of Indigo Skye**

" _She had a kind heart, though that is not of much use when it comes to the matter of self-preservation."_

— **Penelope Fitzgerald, The Bookshop**

" _Nobody, nobody was tender and trusting as she was. But people like you abused her, and forced her to change."_

— **Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire**

" _The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."_

— **Thomas Szasz**

" _Apology accepted. Trust denied."_

— **Anonymous**

" _The past can't be changed, can it? But it can be forgiven…"_

— **Elizabeth George**

" _And if you are someone who still carries hope in your heart, kindness in your eyes and generosity in your fingertips despite terrible people happening to you, thank you. You are one of the few truly pure things left in this world, and you deserve to be protected."_

— **Nikita Gill**

" _He is half my soul, as the poets say."_

— **Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles**

" _When I asked her where she'd rather be than in my arm, she put her hand on my chest and said 'in here' and since then I swear my heart feels full of her love."_

— **Maram Rimawi**

" _A successful [relationship] requires falling in love multiples times, but always with the same person."_

— **Mignon McLaughlin**

" _You are what happiness means to me. And I would rather have today with you than forever with anyone else."_

— **Michelle Hodkin, The Retribution of Mara Dyer**

" _Wasn't that the definition of home? Not where you are from, but where you are wanted."_

— **Abraham Verghese**

" _Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love say: 'I need you because I love you."_

— **Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving**

" _They're promise rings," he whispered. Picking up the woman's, he lifted my right hand. Sliding it on my finger, he softly said, "You wear one," he slipped the man's on the ring finger of his right hand, "and I wear one."_

― **S.C. Stephens**

" _It was the kind of kiss I could never tell my friends about out loud. It was the kind of kiss that made me know I was never so happy in my whole life."_

— **Stephen Chbosky**

Hajime had seen Kiku suddenly stopping and breaking down in the middle of the road, he was about to accelerate to join her when he heard some vehicle driving. He looked over his shoulder and saw a truck driving right towards Kiku – the driver wasn't slowing down, he wasn't warning her, was he blind?! Hajime looked back at Kiku who was too lost in her sobbing to realize what was going to happen.

 _No… No! NO!_ He thought, his feet suddenly accelerating.

"Kiku!" He called, but she didn't hear him.

He ran faster and faster, faster than ever while behind, Oikawa and Hanamaki who had understood what was going on as well, accelerated and screamed their names as well.

"IWA-CHAN!"

"IWAIZUMI!"

" _KIKU!"_ Hajime shouted, running desperately in the middle of the road and right towards Kiku.

He jumped towards her frozen figure just as the truck arrived–

Oikawa and Hanamaki abruptly stopped when their friends disappeared from their vision, the truck driving by. They heard a terrifying cracking, crunching sound and held their breath, eyes wide in terror.

Their friends' bodies were on the floor, unmoving. A long silence followed, neither daring to move and get closer to see what might have happened. They were shaking in fear. It couldn't be happening– it couldn't _have_ happened! _Right?_ It was a joke, an illusion, it was–

Hajime's body moved a little and it was what broke them from their shock.

"I-Iwaizumi!" Oikawa exclaimed, running in the middle of the road to check on his best friend.

"Kiku! Iwaizumi, you idiots!" Hanamaki shouted, following Oikawa.

Oikawa fell on his knees next to Iwaizumi who sat up and looked down at Kiku who was moving a little as well. Both were covered in scratches but… they were safe and sound. When Hajime had jumped against Kiku, he had pushed both of their bodies out of the way, falling onto the ground and rolling away. The shock had been violent and had shaken them, but it was less violent than a truck.

"Iwa-chan! You _idiot!_ What were you thinking?! Going after her like that! Are you mad?!" Oikawa shouted, tears in his eyes to have seen his friend almost die.

But Iwaizumi didn't listen to him – he didn't care about what he just did, no matter how reckless. He only cared about Kiku. He hadn't thought about what he had done – he had just acted on instinct.

"Kiku! Are you okay?! Kiku!" He exclaimed, helping her up but grabbing her shoulders tightly, to make sure she was here and she was all right.

He looked her up and down but except scratches on the right side of her body, she was fine. As fine as she could be at the moment, at least. She was shaking like a leaf, pale, silent tears streaming down her face from the shock of everything that had just happened. She didn't dare meet his eyes but seeing her so shaken up, Hajime's eyes filled with tears. Mostly out of relief and fear from what had happened – seeing her so close to death, risking his own life. He could still feel the truck driving past his back and brushing him. He was shaking too.

Everyone being physically fine, Hanamaki sighed in relief, loudly, and everyone took a moment to just breath and shake. Oikawa dropped on his behind, just watching his stupid friends who had acted so stupidly.

"W-what were you thinking?!" Hajime suddenly shouted, shaking Kiku's shoulders.

She tensed under his hands, looking up into his eyes, seeing the tears and the fright. She stared at him, unable to do or say anything. His hands were so tight that she could feel bruises forming on her shoulders but she didn't care. Her heart was beating quickly – from the fear and shock, and out of guilt for making him feel this way. He didn't stop shaking her as he shrieked, panic making his voice tremble:

"Why did you go off like that without looking where you were going?! Why did you go so fast?! Why didn't you wait for me?! Why did you stop in the middle of the road?! Why didn't you move away?! You imbecile!"

He pulled her to his chest so suddenly that she gasped, his arms grabbing her and pressing her to his body. He buried his face in her neck, tears rolling down his cheeks, his entire body shaking from whining cries. Kiku stared in front of her, shocked by his reaction and how tightly he was holding her now. As if she might slip from his hold and die.

She almost died, she realized. She almost caused Hajime's death, she realized. More tears filled her eyes and she grabbed his shirt tightly, trying to press herself even closer to him, starting to sob.

"I-I'm sorry…! I'm sorry!" She started crying out.

"Stupid! Reckless! _Imbecile!_ I love you!"

"I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to, I'm sorry!"

"Don't you dare do that ever again _, you…! You imbecile…!"_

"I won't! I'm sorry, Hajime…!"

"Reckless girl, I love you too much to let you go like that…!" He continued, mumbling and crying.

"I'm sorry! I love you too! I'm sorry…!" She whined, burying her face into his shoulder.

"You love each other, you're sorry and you're an imbecile and we're all crying – could we _perhaps_ step OFF the road now? Before another accident happens?!" Hanamaki intervened, glancing around nervously at the idea that another car or truck might arrive.

He forced Oikawa on his legs and both helped up the couple, dragging their bags and what was left of the bicycle on the street but immediately dropping back on the ground. It was Hanamaki's turn to freak out while Oikawa walked around nervously. Hajime and Kiku were still clinging onto each other like their lives depended on it.

"I called your dad, Iwa-chan… He's on patrol right now but he's coming…" Oikawa announced, mostly to fill the silence.

Iwaizumi looked up, eyes red and still wide in panic, barely acknowledging what it meant but nodding.

It didn't take long for a police car to stop in front of the group, Iwaizumi Takashi hurrying to them.

"What happened? Are you injured?!" He asked quickly, checking on his son and Kiku.

He sighed in relief when they turned out all right, but all four of the teenagers were shaking – especially the ones who had almost gotten crushed by a truck. He had only understood half of what Oikawa had explained over the phone – something about Kiku's father and a truck almost killing them…

"What happened?" He asked again, more calmly.

Hanamaki, who was the less panicked of the four, explained him what had happened – Kiku's biological father showing up, her trauma coming back, her course stopped in the middle of the road, his stupid son bravely saving her life…

Takashi was shocked to imagine Kiku's biological father coming back into her life… he couldn't begin to imagine how she felt, or how Hajime felt – even worst with the almost accident that could have cost their lives. Suddenly tired, he passed his hands over his face before kneeling in front of Hajime and Kiku. His son was holding her tightly, they were still shaking but calmer now.

"Kiku, do you need to go to the hospital?" He asked.

She looked up at him, looking frightened at the idea of going there before slowly understanding why Takashi asked her that – not for her physical health, but mostly to make sure that her psychological health was stable. Not to be checked on whether she was injured or not, but to check if she needed a psychological follow. A more intense one than before, at least.

She shook her head no, looking down and grabbing Hajime's hand in panic. She didn't want to be away from him, she just wanted to go home and feel safe.

"You don't have any big injury and your vitals are okay, but I'll still take you two to the hospital tomorrow morning. For now, I'll drive you all home." Takashi said with a sigh, standing up.

The four teenagers climbed into the police car – it was a first for Hanamaki but the circumstances were too gloom for him to get excited about it. The way was mostly silent, Takashi occasionally glancing at Kiku and Hajime.

Oikawa kept glancing at them – to make sure they were okay and to make sure his friends were still alive. His eyes noticed their hands, never easing their hold, holding onto each other desperately. Iwaizumi Hajime was someone prudent and intelligent, he never did anything reckless or stupid – and yet, he had jumped on the way of a truck just to save his girlfriend. He could have failed and they could have both been killed, he could have been the only one killed… Thankfully it turned out for the best with both safe and sound… but… but Oikawa couldn't stop thinking about the desperate run Hajime had done just to reach her, not thinking about the consequences, just trying to save her… he loved her _that much_. He loved her so much he'd risk his own life. And she loved him _so much_ that the mere thought of having risked his life had gotten her to break down in sobs… They cared about each other so much that their hands hadn't let go since they had almost lost each other.

Tooru knew he should be happy, _thankful_ they were safe and sound… but he was just sad. He was overjoyed to know they were safe and sound, of course… but he just realized once again that his best friend had changed, almost losing his life for his girlfriend; and Tooru wondered yet again if he would ever hold someone's hand _that_ tightly, be _that_ desperate to keep this special person safe and sound…

They arrived in front of the Akiyama Bakery and after thanking Iwaizumi's father and telling his friends a few words, Hanamaki went into his home. The Bakery's lights were off but before Kiku and the others could reach the house, several lights had come on and Nanami and Shouta came out running in panic:

"Kiku! Your uncle called and explained everything! Where were you?!"

"We tried calling you! We were so worried!"

They stopped, Nanami gasping, when they noticed the state their daughter was in.

"W-what happened…?!"

"A little accident, nothing to worry about," Takashi answered.

Nanami rushed to Kiku, hugging her tightly while Shouta remained near his wife and daughter, thanking Takashi for bringing her home. Hajime and Kiku didn't let go of each other's hands, even though they were pulled apart by Kiku's parents' hug. Her eyes filled with tears, taking in the reassuring warmth of her mom and dad…

"I'll come back tomorrow morning for a check-up at the hospital, both physical and psychological." Takashi said.

"Thank you…" Shouta said, with a thankful nod, "Come on, let's go home."

Surrounding his wife's shoulders, who was holding tightly Kiku, they started pulling her towards the house but she didn't move, held back by Hajime's hand. Kiku looked back at him and he instinctively tried following her but his father stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder.

There was a moment of awkward silence and stillness. Nanami, Shouta and Takashi all glanced at their children not letting go, then at each other, not knowing what to do when the teenagers were obviously shaken up and in need of one another.

"Let her rest, will you?" Takashi said, as gently as he could.

Hajime looked up at him, as if offended at the idea that he should leave his girlfriend alone _now_ , but he felt helpless. His father would never let him stay with Kiku, and her parents would probably not let him stay around either. Why were they so selfish they'd try to pull them apart when he and Kiku needed so badly to be together?

Understanding the same thing, Kiku sadly looked up at Hajime before slowly letting go of his hand… Nanami immediately pushed her towards the house, Kiku sending her love another look before disappearing completely.

Takashi pulled Hajime back to the car and they went home in silence, Oikawa going in his own place while the Iwaizumi were back together. Umeko was panicked when she saw her son come home scratched up, and the tale she got from her husband didn't do anything to calm her. At first, Hajime was happy for his mother's comfort, but then it got embarrassing, and then he got irked off and went off for his bath. He didn't have to look over his shoulder to know that his parents were now discussing the situation very worriedly – he supposed Kiku's parents were the same right now.

He skipped dinner and went directly to his bath, quickly looking at his reflection in the mirror. His face and left hand were scratched up pretty badly, same for his knee. But it was nothing compared to what could have happened. The stinging sensation of the water was nothing compared to the fear and panic he had felt earlier. He tried to relax but every time he closed his eyes he saw Kiku frozen and into the light of the truck's lights, about to be run over. The driver probably didn't notice or was on his phone, which was why he didn't slow down or stopped. Hajime opened his eyes again, checking his phone. Oikawa, Makki and Mattsun (who had been told everything that had happened by Makki) were all asking him how he was or if he had news from Kiku – but she remained silent.

He sent her several messages, tried calling, but she wouldn't answer until several hours later.

 **I'm okay, I'm sorry for what happened today. See you tomorrow.**

 _You're not okay, don't be sorry even though you were reckless… I want to see you NOW…_ He thought to himself, not knowing what to answer.

He tried sleeping but he couldn't. It was only very late, or very early depending on the point of view, that he fell into a restless sleep, filled with nightmares of Kiku dying in various ways.

As his father had said, the following morning, Hajime exceptionally skipped high-school to go to the hospital for a check-up. They went to the bakery to get Kiku and Hajime almost jumped off the car before it was parked to get to Kiku faster.

She was in such a state he felt his heart break. She looked exhausted, absent-minded, completely off, not well at all. He wasn't even sure how she had become such a lifeless doll in so little time. She barely reacted when he took her hand in his and talked to her.

"She couldn't sleep last night, until we gave her some medication. The dose is higher than what she had been taking recently so she doesn't feel very good, but she will be better by the time we reach the hospital." Nanami explained – she would go too to be with her daughter, obviously, "Iwaizumi-san, a word, please?" She asked, pointing at the police officer to go to the other side of the room.

He followed her, making sure their voices wouldn't be heard by their children. Nanami was wringing her hands nervously, glancing at Kiku and Hajime.

"Kiku cried for Hajime last night… It was– I know they're very much in love with each other but I'm not sure that this is sane for them to have such an intense relationship. They're still young and with what happened… this man back in her life, and the almost-accident… I'm grateful to Hajime for saving my daughter's life – but he could have died too and– and I suppose I hadn't expected them to be so depending on one another and I'm really worried, for both of them…" She explained worriedly.

"I agree with you, but…" Takashi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck before shrugging, "I'm worried for them too. But… I also know that they are both mature, intelligent kids and _yes_ , they acted recklessly last night but we can't really blame them when they're in shock. They know what they're doing and they won't make any more stupid mistake, of that kind or of another kind… I trust them."

Reassured by the man's trust in their children, and comforted by the reminder that indeed, Kiku and Hajime were mature enough to know what they were doing, Nanami nodded, a little less worried.

All four went to the hospital, the two teenagers being checked by the doctors to make sure there was no internal injury, then, they were seen by psychologists. Hajime was exhausted but was deemed well enough by the psychologist – he still gave him a prescript for some medication in case of nightmares because of the accident; Kiku on the other hand… even though she had woken up from her daze by the time they had reached the hospital, she was put under medication once again. It wasn't a surprise but it traumatized her more than any other event – she had started thinking she was all right, that she didn't need her medication anymore, that she was almost over with it all. But then, _he_ showed up, threw her off and turned everything for the worse. Being back on medication was like all her hard work and progress was gone and she had to start from scratch.

Without quite knowing _how_ he knew, Hajime _did_ understand the reasons why she felt so down. It wasn't just her biological father or the accident or being forced back on medication, but all of it. Once again, he didn't let go of her hand, even when some time later, they sat on her bed, their parents talking in the living-room as worrying adults ought to.

Hajime squeezed her hand tighter, attracting her attention on him.

"They're probably gonna come in and ask me to leave you to rest…" He said.

"They will." She agreed, still feeling dizzy and foggy from the medication but holding onto her clarity as strongly as she held onto his hand.

"You're not okay, not now and not for a while, right?"

"…I… I'm not okay…" She admitted, tears of shame filling her eyes.

"…You'll talk to me, right? You know I'm here for _everything?_ You're not alone, you know that, right?" He continued softly.

He turned to her, she was shaking but she looked up into his eyes. Thousands of emotions went through her eyes – sadness, tenderness, hurt, trust, shame, thankfulness, despair, love… Then her trembling stopped and her shoulders relaxed, her hand held his a little tighter and he saw in her eyes that she accepted his help. That she _needed_ his help and love and support. She fell against his chest and he held her tight, sighing in relief to know she counted on him and he wouldn't have to worry about that. He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, taking in the warmth she made him feel.

They laid down on her bed, Kiku immediately falling asleep, safe into his arms. He felt sleepy but he didn't allow himself to drift off, knowing that his father would come to go home soon. He watched over Kiku, staring at her sleeping face. She looked peaceful but he couldn't tell if it was because of her medication clouding her mind or his presence soothing her. He prayed it was the first because then she'd be okay even without him, but he also hoped it was the second just to know she loved him as much as he loved her…

Takashi came to get him too soon but Hajime didn't argue when he was told to leave. He covered Kiku with her covers, kissed her forehead then left quietly, for once not even embarrassed for the demonstration of love in front of his father.

Whatever would happen in the next few days… it would be hell for Kiku but he'd be here for her. It'd be difficult for him too but he knew he could count on his friends if needed. He just hoped that this Hashimoto Noburu remained as far away as possible.

With her medication calming her down whenever she needed, and with her family, friends and Hajime by her side, Kiku felt better in no-time. In just a few days, she was almost her usual self, her dose of medication was lowered and she was smiling brightly once again. Hajime spent the entire week-end with her, for once, they didn't study despite the finals coming soon. They just relaxed with one another and Kiku's birdies.

"Kiku." Hajime called, looking serious, "We need to talk, if it's okay with you."

They sat in front of one another on her bed, Kiku looking nervous by his statement.

"Are you feeling good enough that we can talk about everything that happened?" He asked, not wanting to push her.

She hesitated before nodding, waiting for his questions. But instead of saying anything, he took her hand in his, his warmth spreading to her.

"If you don't want to, or if it triggers anything, just say so and we'll stop but… I think we _really_ need to discuss what happened. Mostly your biological father coming back. How do you feel about that?"

She didn't answer right away, then a smile appeared on her face – which surprised Hajime.

"You sound like my psychologist."

"Perhaps I should become one then, instead of a volleyball player." He said, smiling and relieved it was the reason for her smile.

"You would be a good psychologist, you understand people well and you know what to say to reassure them."

"…Are you trying to avoid answering?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

She looked by the window, her gaze catching a couple of birds flying around before going off.

"I'm just trying to get more time to think about my answer."

"You can–"

"I don't _know_ what to think about this man coming back… I don't want to think he's a completely bad person but… I… I don't want him in my life. Not now, not ever. But… it might be selfish of me when he's trying to fix his mistakes…" She answered, looking down.

He stared at her before sighing deeply, squeezing both her hands in his.

"Still putting others first… I love this part of you, Kiku, but… you have the right to be selfish too." He said.

She looked up at him, lips trembling, as if remembering that she could think of herself before others from time to time. Hajime always was the one to tell her that – _'you have the right to be selfish'_. When it came from _him_ , it felt like it really was all right to think of her own being before another…

"If you don't want to talk to him, I would completely understand – I wouldn't talk to such a guy either if it were me… he's only bad news." Hajime continued, frowning, thinking back on this Hashimoto guy.

"I just don't understand why he would change his mind and try to talk to me after all these years. It makes no sense."

"Don't try to understand, just let him… stay away from you. You're better off without him. You're not alone, you have your family and your friends and _me_. I know that your parents abandoning you at birth left a hole in your heart, but… I don't think he'd be able to fill it _now_ … If anything, it might just reopen old wounds. And I don't want you to suffer, more than anything else in the world."

Kiku glanced up at him when she realized that he was trembling lightly. She looked into his green eyes and saw a fear he didn't want to accept shining in them.

"…Hajime… I… I won't let him ruin my life, not _now_ … but you… you seem so shaken up… Why are you– _what_ are you so afraid of since he showed up?" She asked softly.

He took a shaky breath in, closing his eyes, trying to calm his nerves. She squeezed his hands, leaning forward.

"Hajime, you can trust me, you _have_ to– we won't function if we don't trust each other on equal footing. I love you for trying to protect me, from myself _and_ the world when I'm fragile, but I'm okay. I won't break regardless of what you'll say, so _please_ , depend on me a little more… Talk to me, please…"

He sighed before filling his lungs with air, hopefully some courage as well.

"I just… I'm scared… that I'm going to lose you." He said, unable to meet her eyes, "When he came back and you started acting off, I got so worried for you and then, you almost– we almost… y'know what almost happened… Imagining being two seconds too late, not reaching you in time… what could have happened… it frightens me. I-I've never been so scared in my _life_ … Losing you… would destroy me and I'm not sure I could handle losing you from your own despair…"

He breathed shakily, his heart feeling suddenly lighter despite the feeling of lead in his stomach – he felt better after saying it out loud. Talking about how much he was frightened, his fear proportional to his love for her.

"I love you too much to lose you, Kiku…" He murmured, voice breaking a little.

Kiku stared at him for a long time, eyes watery from the overwhelming emotions coming in waves over her heart and soul.

He avoided looking at her, ashamed for appearing so weak-hearted.

"Hajime… look at me… please…" She whispered.

He barely reacted but she cupped his cheeks delicately, forcing him to look into her eyes. Green met blue. Both felt like crying, more out of relief and happiness than fear and sadness. He put his hands over hers and they sighed, their breaths mixing together.

"You won't lose me. I promise." She murmured with a soft smile, "I love you too much to imagine leaving you in any way…"

His lips tilted upwards then a beautiful smile appeared, and his eyes sparkled. She chuckled joyfully as he leaned down, kissing her happily. She kissed him back, both so enthusiastic that their kiss was sloppy and they clumsily fell on the bed, laughing. He cupped her cheeks, deepening their kiss before pulling away for breath. They kept their eyes closed, still feeling the love from their kiss pulsing warmly through their veins. They brushed their noses and lips together, smiling brighter than they had in a while.

"I love you…" He whispered against her lips, looking into her eyes.

She was so overwhelmed by the way she felt for him that it took her a moment to find her voice again.

"I love you too…" She murmured with a smile and beautiful eyes.

He chuckled, the sound interrupted by her sudden kiss. He captured her lips, their bodies pressing closer, the tender kiss turning passionate and the soft warmth turning into an ardent desire. All the fear and sadness they had felt recently turned their love even more powerful and despite the tenderness never leaving their gazes and the way their hands travelled over each other's skins, the passion of this day's love-making was one they would never forget.

It wasn't a love-making to show desire or love, but to seal a quiet promise.

It was the day they realized not only the depth of their love for one another, but what _love, True Love_ , really meant.

Falling and being in love were different – falling in love was the process and being in love was the state of being. The _hearts_ fell in love, but the _souls_ were in love.

Their lives would have continued with their peaceful, quiet love but Hashimoto Noburu didn't leave completely. A few days later, while Kiku, Hajime, and their friends, were leaving the school grounds to go in town for a karaoke; he was there waiting for her. Kiku noticed him only when he approached, and she froze. Hajime glanced between the two then pulled Kiku away. After that, _everyday_ , Hashimoto would be waiting for Kiku in front of Aoba Jousai's gates. She, and Hajime, tried their best to ignore him but he was persistent.

"Iwaizumi, Kiku-chan!" Hanamaki called, entering their classroom at the end of the day, "The creep is here again…" He said with a sigh, "Mattsun just messaged me to warn you guys."

Kiku sighed while Hajime saw red, clenching jaws and fists.

"That's it! I'm calling the cops! Coach and the teachers said they couldn't do anything because he was remaining too far away from the school grounds and wasn't bothering anyone; but it's enough!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, already pulling out his phone from his pocket.

"Hajime, calm down," Kiku said, reaching out and putting her hand over his to stop him, "Regardless of how much we dislike his presence here, he isn't doing anything illegal. He's just sitting on the bench or in a nearby café. We can't do anything against it."

"But–"

"I'll go talk to him." She decided, standing up and pulling her bag over her shoulder.

It took a moment for Iwaizumi and Hanamaki to understand what she meant by that – and then, they reacted vividly, especially Hajime:

"Wha– NO! You're not going to _talk_ to him! The last time you talked to him, you almost ended up under a truck!"

"I was being reckless and stupid, I was shaken up but now that I know he exists, and is here everyday, I can't ignore him forever." She continued with a shrug, "I'm okay, really… I won't let his talking get to me. And there are a few things I'd need to clear up with this man."

"I'm going with you, then!" Hajime exclaimed, standing up.

"Are you sure it's a good idea? The first time you almost attacked him, and that was before you and Kiku got your almost-accident… You're even more protective of her now…" Makki remarked.

"I'm not stupid, I won't end him completely!" He answered, rolling his eyes.

"Nah, you shouldn't say _that_ to begin with. You're short-tempered and with your protectiveness, it's just worst."

"I can't stay still while she's facing this man all of on her own!"

Before the two could continue arguing, and attract any more attention, Kiku stood between them.

"It's okay, Makki, I'll make sure Hajime doesn't do anything stupid! And you can come if you want, I don't have anything to hide from you, muffin. If anything… it'd reassure me if you were by my side…"

Reassured to not leave her alone, Hajime let out a breath of relief and took her hand. Makki just sighed and raised his hands to the ceiling, hoping it wouldn't turn out badly.

Kiku and Hajime went their usual way, glancing warily at Hashimoto who was sitting on a bench, looking down at a picture between his fingers. Hajime thought that for once, the man wouldn't notice them and they could have walked away, but he looked up and stood up suddenly, awkwardly approaching Kiku.

"Kiku–"

"I suppose you have some things you want to talk about." She said, trying not to let any emotion show on her face nor in her voice.

"Y-yes, please…" He said, looking pleading.

Kiku hesitated before sighing and nodding. In silence, but holding tightly onto Hajime's hand, they followed the man. A few minutes later, they were sitting around a table in a café, avoiding looking at each other, an uncomfortable silence resonating.

"So… last year of high-school, uh? The exams are soon, right?" Hashimoto started awkwardly, apparently trying to appear friendly and good-minded.

"Yes." Was all Kiku answered.

"…Um… so, tell me… uh, how long have you two…?" He continued, waving vaguely between the two.

Hajime and Kiku glanced at each other before answering in one voice:

"Eight months."

"I-I see… um… you play… volleyball? You like that? I was playing on my soccer's team back in high-school." He asked, turning towards Hajime, trying to get into the boy's good graces (good luck).

Before Hajime could answer though, Kiku spoke up:

"He's been playing volleyball since his childhood, he was the Ace and Vice-Captain of the team and he's been scouted by the number one sports scouting agency in all of Japan. He'll be on the National team in September, and he'll study at the university as well because he's brilliant."

Hashimoto seemed stunned she had talked so much, even Hajime was a little surprised, but happily so, a little flush on his cheeks as he nodded, fighting off the proud smile from his face to keep glaring at the man.

"O-oh… ah… that sounds… _great_. Great plans. G-good luck to you, boy…"

He observed closely Iwaizumi who stopped from drinking, looking back at him in a mix of curiosity and threatening intent.

"What?" He mumbled.

"…Aren't you a little short for volleyball though? I thought volleyball players were very tall."

"…I don't like you." He growled, irked off at being considered _short_.

"Hajime is taller than average, _much_ taller! He's got skills and power! And just because you're short doesn't mean you can't do anything in volleyball anyway…" Kiku said defensively.

Before Hajime could appreciate her compliments, Hashimoto turned towards her:

"You must really like him, you only talk about him. Tell me more about yourself, Kiku."

She seemed surprised by his sudden will to know more about him, and was at a loss at what she should say. Fiddling his hands together, Hashimoto continued:

"What you like, what you do… your favourite subject– oh, do you know what you're going to study at the university?" He asked, almost enthusiastically.

"I-I like singing and dancing…"

"Just like your mother, then!"

"…And animals. I usually take care of my pets in my free time. I don't like or dislike anything in particular at school… and I'll study Law in Tokyo. I want to become a lawyer to protect children like me who were abandoned or abused by their families." She said, turning a hard gaze towards him.

Hashimoto swallowed hard, feeling accused.

"What… was your life like? Are you happy with your family? Your adoptive uncle seemed very protective of you…"

Kiku seemed distraught, suddenly remembering all the families she went through and the Himura who had beaten her and almost destroyed her… Seeing her distress, Hajime took her hand and answered for her:

"You don't get the right to ask her anything about her family when you abandoned her. You're the cause for her misery so don't–"

"I…" Kiku spoke up, forcing him to stop and getting Hashimoto's attention, "I went from family to family for years then I arrived into another household. I was abused in _every possible ways_. The only reason why I didn't kill myself is because I was adopted by a good family, the Akiyama, and because I met Hajime." She said in a calm voice, her expression neutral but her eyes burning.

Hashimoto didn't answer, he didn't even look hurt or surprised… maybe he had had his doubts on what she had gone through but had pretended to be ignorant.

"I never knew why I was born if my parents didn't want of me at all, why they had left me to die. Now that I know _why_ … I don't understand how someone could be so cruel." She continued, her words sharp and biting.

Hashimoto lowered his head, a long silence followed. She kept staring at him, hoping he would react, saying something, _anything_. But he remained silent. Sighing and not expecting anything from him, she started to stand up to leave…

"I'm sorry… you had to suffer so much because of our mistakes…" He finally said, making her turn back to her, "I… I can't really say I wanted the best for you, because… I foolishly tried to get rid of you right after your birth."

Kiku sat back, staring at him, stunned he had admitted his true intentions from back then. She felt… relieved. For once, he wasn't lying and she knew the truth about her origins. He continued, not daring to meet her eyes:

"You were a shame for us. You destroyed our lives and we didn't want to think that you could someday come back to haunt us and destroy what was left of us. But a few days after your birth, we saw in the newspaper that a baby had been found and saved and… and we realized that we were glad. That the little life our love had created wasn't… gone… despite all of our mistakes and what we had done to you…"

He took a shaky breath and she realized he was crying.

"We were too ashamed to try to find you… we never forgot about you… but after Mei's death…"

He shook his head.

"I was at a loss, I tried finding you but it was impossible. I wanted a piece of her with me, through you. Searching for you… got me to find someone… my current wife… she gave me peace and she knows everything I have done but still accepted me as I am."

Kiku stared at him as he took out a picture, showing a woman with two children, all laughing happily:

"I'm happy but… I couldn't forget about you. So I tried looking for you again. It took me two years. But I found you."

He paused, putting the picture back in his wallet and shuffling awkwardly around. Hajime glanced at Kiku, not certain to understand how she felt – she probably didn't know herself.

"I know you could never forgive me for what I did to you, and all the consequences that befell on your life… but… I'm trying to fix my mistakes… it probably won't be fixed, ever… but… I had hoped that the hole in my heart could… somehow be filled by meeting you…"

He stood up and bowed clumsily, not daring to meet her eyes.

"I won't bother you anymore, I've done enough… I wish you both happiness…"

He started leaving and Kiku's lips trembled. Hajime took her hand, understanding that her compassionate heart… wouldn't let him walk away like that. A hole in his heart. She had a hole in her heart too – because she had never known the truth about her biological parents…

"Wait–" She called, surprising herself and Hashimoto – but Hajime wasn't surprised, instead, he squeezed her hand for reassurance, "You didn't… tell me… what was she like…? My biological mother…?" She asked in a low, shaking voice.

Hashimoto turned around then smiled awkwardly, coming back and telling everything Kiku would ask for.

The following day, Iwaizumi and Oikawa were running to keep in shape, and Hajime was sharing everything he had learned the previous day with his best friend.

"I can't believe he blatantly said that they gave her up because they were ashamed! They're the ones who made the mistake to begin with!" Oikawa mumbled at the end, frowning.

They were both huffing a little from running in the same time, but they had enough stamina to run _and_ talk.

"That's what I thought, I was _that close_ to strangle the bastard!" He answered, still seething.

"I can imagine! Kiku-chan isn't my girlfriend but as my _friend_ , I'd fight off this guy! He doesn't deserve such a pure daughter!"

"I _know!_ But… I think it was what Kiku needed…"

Oikawa glanced at him and Iwaizumi continued, frowning:

"Not a good heart or pity or anything just… the truth…"

"How does she feel?"

"Better than expected, but still… y'know… shaken up…" He answered, "Talking of, I gotta go see her! See you later, Oikawa!" He exclaimed, changing direction.

"Later, Iwa-chan~! And be safe you two~!" He exclaimed teasingly.

Iwaizumi heard, but he ignored his comment, even if he turned red when people turned around to stare. He accelerated a little, now that he was alone, and quickly arrived at the Akiyama Bakery. He went directly to the back door, finding it open and after saluting Nanami who was in the living-room, he went straight to Kiku's bedroom. She wasn't in here but he said hi to the birdies before noticing some of her clothes on her bed.

"Cupcake?" He called.

Hearing some splashing in the bathroom abjointed to her bedroom, he hesitated. He had seen her naked plenty of times, and they had even taken a bath together once; but it was still embarrassing to go in there.

"Kiku?" He called again, hoping for an answer that would indicate whether she would welcome him in the bathroom or not.

Not hearing anything, he decided to make her a surprise. He opened the door but froze when he didn't see her. What he saw was her auburn hair, almost black from being wet, floating at the surface of the bath water. His heart skipped a beat and fear turned his blood cold. He saw her still, with a truck approaching. All his nightmares came back.

He rushed through the bathroom, not quite knowing whether he screamed her name, or just screamed. He fell and slid on his knees, grabbing her and pulling her out of the water. Kiku emerged, screaming and coughing, completely panicked and not understanding what was happening. She turned towards Hajime, eyes wide while he grabbed her face, eyes blurry from the tears.

"Kiku! You idiot! You crazy! Why! What…!" He shouted before pulling her to his chest and holding her tight, ignoring his clothes getting wet.

"H-Hajime! What's happening?" She exclaimed, still coughing a little.

"I-I thought… I thought you _were_ …"

His voice broke and his sentence trailed off, not finishing it. She pulled away from him and stared at his face:

"Drowning? That I was trying to kill myself?" She concluded with a sad gaze, "I… I just like being under the water and I didn't hear you coming until _someone_ grabbed me so suddenly I swallowed water and almost drowned…"

He let out a heavy sigh and relaxed just a little when he realized he had mistaken the situation. He slumped down – it didn't help him feel any better.

Kiku grabbed her towel and wrapped herself to come out of the bathtub, sitting next to him to try to calm him down. He kept his face in his hands, now feeling stupid for thinking the worst.

"…It's always going to be like that, isn't it…?" He realized, looking up from behind his hands, "Every time you'll be a little sad, every time you'll break a little… I'll be scared. I'll spend the rest of my life being scared for you and worrying for you and every time I'll have a nightmare, I'll think of the worst…"

"Hajime…" She murmured, taking his hands in hers.

Her hands were still wet and very warm. She was real and alive and well, but he was still trembling at the idea that she might have died… countless of times before he even met her. But now that she was in his life, he couldn't imagine it without her _and yet_ … she was still struggling with her past trauma. Which was becoming _his_ trauma and biggest fear.

"I'm sorry…" He said, not looking at her.

"Hajime, I… I don't want this life for you…" She said, looking down at their joined hands, "Constantly worrying, being scared for me, that I'll make a mistake… my parents… I see how they are, they're constantly restless because they're scared I'll take my own life… I don't want this for you as well."

Slowly, regretfully, she pulled her hands away from his. He looked up in shock.

"Perhaps… we should stop now…" She whispered regretfully.

"W-what do you mean…?" He asked, even though he perfectly knew what she meant.

She looked up at him, forcing a smile despite the tears filling her eyes.

"We said… we'd wait for the end of the year to decide whether or not we'll stay together… let's end it now. Before it gets even more difficult… You deserve better, you always did, and you won't be happy with me, not if you have to worry for me all the time, not if… not if you even risk your own life for me…"

They… had agreed to it. They had said they'd discuss it at the end of the year, whether they'd stay together after their third-year or not, because they'd go their own way… Hajime had assumed he'd have a few more weeks before it'd happen, a few more weeks before he'd have to think about it… But… but Kiku was ending it… _now?_

 _No. No, no, no…! NO!_

"B-but... _no!_ I... I still want to… I don't _want_ …" He started frenetically, his heart beating in panic.

"Please, Hajime, it's for your own sake. For _both_ of our sakes. Neither of us wants of a long-distance relationship, we'd only be miserable, away from each other… And with what happened lately, you're too… you're too focused on worrying for me, you need to think of yourself. Your studies, your career… so let me set you free… You'll be okay, and you'll be happy a-and I'll be too… so don't worry for me… promise me?"

He opened and closed his lips, helpless tears filling his eyes. Finally, he closed his eyes, lowering his head, quiet tears rolling down his cheeks as he bit on his lower lip. He didn't want to say it, he didn't want to promise anything. Not like that, not now. Not for that.

Understanding how difficult it was for him, and her heart breaking a little as well, Kiku cupped his cheeks and leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes. She took in his warmth, and the peace and love he made her feel. Then she kissed his lips. She kissed him goodbye, a kiss to set him free. It was sweet and sad and full of love and before he could kiss her back, she pulled away and stood up.

He tried to reach for her, his lips longing for more, his entire being already craving her warmth.

By the time Hajime managed to get up and follow her, she was already dressed and turning her back from him, avoiding looking his way.

"Kiku…" He called softly.

"… _Please_ … we knew it'd happen eventually… please _go_ … don't make it any harder…" She whispered, head down.

He hesitated, not wanting to leave, or he'd leave his heart behind. But not knowing what to say to get them to stay together, to keep what they had a little longer, he turned around and left quietly. Kiku didn't dare watch him leave and he didn't dare look over his shoulder as he ran back home. He went straight into his bedroom, ignoring his mother's surprised calls, and he fell on his bed. The moment his face hit the pillow, he started crying. Quietly at first, then he couldn't feel the air enter his lungs anymore, then he was sobbing and whining and calling her name and he was clenching the pillow so hard his knuckles turned white.

He wasn't sure when his mother had entered and started comforting him, but when he calmed down she didn't stop stroking his spiky hair. She didn't have to ask any question to understand what had happened…

"I thought… I thought we'd have a happy ending, despite what she went through… I thought our story was supposed to have a happy ending…"

"Oh, honey, you will have a happy ending, both of you… but a story's happy ending doesn't mean you'll be together…" She murmured.

More tears filled his eyes and he just turned around, seeking her comfort. He might have been finishing high-school, feeling like a man, ready to start a life and he had learned how to love but… he would always be his mommy's baby boy…

Not long later, Oikawa learned (probably from Hajime's mother) and came to comfort him. His friends came over as well, trying to distract his mind but all Hajime could think of was whether Kiku had someone to comfort her too. He knew from Oikawa she was with Yuuna and Shinobu but it didn't help him feel any better.

The following days didn't even feel like the hell both Kiku and Hajime had expected after breaking up so softly. They had thought it'd be sad and terrible to see each other every day at school, possibly avoiding each other but on the contrary. They were still smiling and talking and practically nothing changed. The main difference was that when they reached for each other's hands, they had to remember it wasn't possible anymore. They would freeze in the middle of the gesture, both aware of what the other had tried to do. Then they'd look away and feel sad for a moment. They had known it would happen at some point, they knew it would come and had decided on it several months ago. But it still hurt.

Hajime's nightmares didn't stop even if it was less often. Now he dreamt of being with Kiku, holding hands, kissing, spending lovely nights together… then he'd realize he was holding a ghost. Sometimes he had to stare at her tombstone while the seasons went by – it was the worst recurring nightmare, he hated it. He'd always wake up sweating, knowing it had only been a dream but spending the rest of the night restless. Until he'd see her again in class, safe and sound.

Studying for the finals distracted them both and their friends and families were here, but they were still missing each other.

"Hajime."

He stopped from putting on his running shoes to look up at his father who looked grave. Oikawa, who was waiting for him in the entry glanced between the two.

"I'll go on ahead," he told Iwa-chan before leaving the apartment.

"What is it?" Hajime asked his father, suddenly worried.

"We need to talk about something, come here a minute."

He followed him in the living-room, and he sat down. His father was broad and impressive; he felt like a criminal even though he knew he had done nothing wrong. At least, that he was aware of.

"I wasn't sure I could tell you about it but I discussed it with your mother and we agreed you should know. You're still in touch with Kiku, right?" He asked.

 _I promised to never leave her alone_ … He thought.

"Y-yeah… why?"

"Do you know if she talks to her biological father, this Hashimoto?" He continued.

"I… uh, we don't really talk about it, but I think so… I'm not sure…" He admitted.

Takashi sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. Hajime finally noticed a police file just between them, but he didn't dare look at it any closer.

"Did something happen? Is Kiku all right?" He asked suddenly, scared of what these questions might hide.

"She's fine, don't worry. The other day I was in patrol and I saw her with a man, I assumed it was Hashimoto. I got curious – I had almost forgotten because of the fright of your almost accident with the truck, but I couldn't understand why he'd re-appear after all these years… so I investigated."

He pushed the file towards Hajime who hesitantly opened it.

"At first, nothing unusual. Never got in trouble, got a job and family."

Hajime didn't see anything wrong in everything he was seeing on the various papers his father had gathered.

"Then I saw his medical file…" Takashi sighed.

Hajime pushed away another paper and read the medical report. His blood ran cold, then it started boiling. He stood up suddenly. His father seemed surprised by the reaction but when Hajime started walking towards the door, he stood up:

"Wait! Hajime! Where are you going?" He asked.

"I need to tell her!" He exclaimed, putting on his shoes and already out of the door.

He kept walking, then accelerated and ran. He ran fast, to get to the Akiyama Bakery. He was surprised to find it closed but when he went to the back door, even after ringing, no one opened. But the bakery's vehicle was still here so they had to be home. He was about to open the door when it opened suddenly. Hajime looked up and seemed as thunderstruck as Shouta to see each other. But then, Shouta's surprise was erased and he frowned, making the young man shiver. Shouta stepped away and pushed out Hashimoto who almost fell over.

"Don't approach my daughter!" He threatened.

Hashimoto glared at him then turned around, not sparing another glance at either. Shouta turned back towards Hajime who looked as distraught as he was angry, afraid to know what had happened. Shouta's features softened.

"…She needs you." Shouta said, opening the door wider for him.

Hajime opened and closed his lips, hesitating before he entered, took off his shoes and climbed up the stairs. Kiku was sitting on a chair, at the table, her mother keeping her hands on her shoulders, murmuring something he didn't understand or care about.

"Kiku…" He called softly.

She looked up and turned around, her passive expression crumbled and tears filled her eyes.

"Hajime…"

She stood up and ran to him, burying her face in his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around her and closed his eyes, giving her all the comfort he could. She started sobbing, mostly because she had missed him, his warmth and his embrace so much. She could feel his heart beating strongly through his chest and it felt good. It felt like home.

"It's okay, I'm here… I'm not leaving you…"

Some time later, they were cuddled together on her bed, tea and cookies brought by her mother completely forgotten, just taking in the comfort of being together again.

"What are you doing here?" Kiku asked when she had calmed down.

"…My father investigated a little on Hashimoto… and he shared with me what he had found… I-I thought you needed to know the truth…"

"…Thank you for coming to warn me, even if he admitted the truth himself just before you arrived…"

"I can't believe he lied to you about his intentions…" Hajime growled, "If he approached you ever again, I'm going to kill him…"

"Don't make a mistake for someone as pitiful as him."

He was surprised by her words, but looking down at her, pressed against his chest, he realized that she didn't seem that surprised. Hurt, but… not surprised.

 _Some hours ago…_

 _Kiku hadn't expected her biological father to show up, but he was here and asking to talk to her. Her parents didn't want to leave her alone with him and after some debate, all four ended up sitting in the living-room, exchanging tense casualties before Hashimoto talked about the reason of his coming here. The reason why he had looked for Kiku._

" _I'm sick… very, very sick. I'm on the list for a kidney transplantation but… it's a long list and I still don't have any chance anytime soon. My wife isn't compatible with me, and my children are too young. I was hoping that maybe… if we are compatible, you could donate one of your kidney to me. I actually did a test with one of your hair that I had had the chance to get, and we are compatible so… I will do anything in exchange for that."_

 _Kiku wasn't surprised, she wasn't really hurt. Her lips fell open and she blinked once, twice._

" _You didn't find me to get over the loss of your first wife, or to fill anything. It was just to get a kidney from me, isn't it?" She murmured._

" _You… get out of here!" Shouta exclaimed suddenly, standing up._

" _It's not your choice, but hers! Kiku, you have a good heart and you met your siblings – they can't lose their father, right?"_

" _Like she lost you? Get out of my house! Get away from my daughter!"_

" _Kiku, please, just think about it–"_

 _Shouta grabbed the man and pulled him away, leaving Kiku and Nanami alone for a moment. Nanami surrounded Kiku for comfort, murmuring words of reassurance but Kiku didn't react. Not until she heard footsteps behind – they weren't her father's, she recognized these footsteps, it was–_

" _Kiku…"_

 _This voice. Kiku slowly turned around, her heart speeding up and feeling so alive to see Hajime standing there, a little red and sweaty from running, but he was so breathtaking. Seeing him again, for her,_ _ **now**_ _… it was like fate._

 _She saw their memories together flashing in her mind: their first meeting under the sakura trees in their first year, their few interactions that made her fall in love, her first confession, the two of them ending up in the same class and everything ever since…_

" _Hajime…" She whispered, tears filling her eyes._

 _She ran to him and she was home again. She was safe and happy again while he held her._

Kiku kept her eyes closed, listening to his heartbeat.

"I missed you…"

His heart missed a beat then it beat faster, happily. It beat in rhythm with her own heart. She smiled, opening her eyes but feeling more happy tears fill her eyes.

"I missed you too, cupcake…" He murmured, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

She looked up, staring at him in awestruck love. His green eyes were shining – from love and content to be with her. Her hand reached up and she brushed his cheek gently, having missed this simple touch. His own hand reached for hers and their fingers entwined, gazes never leaving one another.

"I… Kiku, I can't stop thinking about you, I can't help but feel completely lost without you…" He murmured.

He chuckled in embarrassment, blushing adorably.

"I know we had decided that it'd be best to go our own ways after graduation but… I really can't let you go… No matter what, you're the one for me and I… I love you…"

A bubbling laugh escaped his lips and she couldn't help but smile, just as happy.

"I'm losing my mind without you and after everything that happened recently, it reminded me that… despite everything you have gone through, and that you will still go through in the future… I had promised to never leave you. And I can't. Even if I tried to, I wouldn't be able to! You're my first love, my everything and… and even if it'll be difficult to be in two different cities…"

He stared into her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes, sparkling like sapphires.

"I still want to be with you…" He whispered, "It'll be hard! B-but… I'll come to see you and you'll come back here and… it'd only be temporary anyway…"

Cuddling together on her bed, looking into each other's eyes, being here for each other… it wasn't much but it meant everything to them. And it had taken letting go of each other and being brought back together to realize that no matter where they were, their love was strong enough to survive the distance and the longing. They were each other's homes, after all.

"So… could we… be back together? For good? For… forever?" He asked, red and hesitant.

Kiku chuckled before moving to be completely pressed against him, cupping his cheeks with a bright smile.

"Yes… it sounds good! It's all I'm looking forward to…! Forever with you!" She exclaimed.

He chuckled in happiness but the sound was quickly smothered by their kiss as they fell down on the bed, kissing and being back together. Their hearts felt at peace, and the world was spinning right once again.

"No more hesitation, we stay together and we trust each other. Promise?" He asked, looking right into her eyes.

She nodded before smiling widely.

"Promise…"

They kissed again, to seal their promise. A promise for good and for forever.

"Wait–" he interrupted pulling away, "What about Hashimoto? What are you gonna do? You're not gonna say yes, right?" He asked, frowning because he knew how kind and compassionate she was…

"I… I won't. I don't know… I… I don't want to think of him now… I'm back with you, it's all that matters." She answered, hiding her face in his neck.

He hugged her tight, silently agreeing with her, brushing his nose against her hair. Then he sighed in joy and relief, because she was back in his arms.

The strangest thing was that absolutely no one was surprised they were back together – some hadn't even noticed they had broken up to begin with. Oikawa was overjoyed, obviously, and teasingly but half-seriously started organizing their wedding. Kiku shared with her friends the truth about Hashimoto and they weren't surprised either he had had such filthy intentions, but they all swore to protect her from him and it was enough to make her laugh and smile.

No one was surprised when that day, after school, Hashimoto was sitting on a bench, creepily waiting for Kiku to go out. When Hajime saw him he forcefully handed his bag to Oikawa, glaring at the man.

"I'm gonna–"

"Hajime." Kiku interrupted.

From afar she could see him sadly looking down at a picture. The picture of his wife and children. He had said that they were the reason why he had desperately gone to see her to find someone he could receive a kidney from. Perhaps he _did_ try to fix his mistakes, not with Kiku, but by trying to _not_ abandon his children again, like he had abandoned her.

Calmly, Kiku approached the man, followed closely by Hajime, and all her friends from the volleyball team. Which meant that when he looked up, Hashimoto was being glared down by several very tall and very muscular young men.

"Kiku, I'm sorry for what happened, I shouldn't–" He started, standing up.

"It's okay. I understand what you did," she said, stopping him, "I don't think you're fundamentally a bad person. You're just a person who made bad decisions. I thought about what you asked of me…"

Her voice trailed off and she took a deep breath, Hashimoto looking at her hopefully while Hajime started worrying that her kindness would get the better of her.

"I refuse." Kiku said firmly.

Hashimoto's shoulders dropped, and he looked devastated.

"I have a life to focus on and I can't afford to be kind to someone who, willingly or not, destroyed my life. Regardless of what you did to me… I _do_ hope you'll find a donor to give you a kidney and allow you to be happy with your wife and children…"

Kiku nodded to him then turned around, about to leave before stopping and turning back to look at him:

"I know I was a mistake, for you and my biological mother, and it ruined your life. It ruined most of mine but… I have a beautiful life ahead of me, so just for the mere joy of having so much to look forward to… Thank you for the blessing of bringing me into this world!" She said with a smile, turning to look at Hajime.

 _He_ was the one who had made her life bright and beautiful, full of colours and expectations, he gave her warmth, peace and comfort – and so much more in the future. She hadn't ended her life thanks to him, but now, he gave her life a meaning.

Hajime shared a knowing smile with her, their fingers entwined.

"Hashimoto-san, I don't want you to be part of this life, but I forgive you," Kiku told him, "Goodbye."

She left without hesitation, without looking back at him. Hashimoto was shocked, not by her refusal but by her kindness and perhaps, like she had said, despite his mistakes and her very existence having been a mistake all these years ago… it hadn't been such a mistake, bringing her into this world.

For a short moment, when he closed his eyes, he could hear his first baby's screams, a little girl. He turned towards Mei, the love of his life, who reached out to hold the baby, tears streaming down her face – from pain, maybe joy? He was about to give her the baby when their benefactor, the man who was a distant relative of his family and had helped them so much, grabbed the child and gave her to the closest nurse.

 _Let me hold her, let me hold her!_ Mei had screamed.

 _You can't do that!_ He had screamed.

 _You owe me everything!_ Their benefactor had said while they cried.

They never saw their baby again. Noburu hadn't had the heart to tell Kiku he had had no idea of what had happened to her just after her birth, pretending to have been the one abandoning her. Not knowing seemed even crueller than doing the act himself. It was all right if she hated him for abandoning her, after all, he left her being taken away, so it was just as terrible as leaving her to die himself.

" _I forgive you."_ She had said.

 _Mei… we've been foolish and cruel to this child… but she became wonderful… You would be so proud of her_ … Noburu thought, looking up at the sky, tears rolling down his cheeks.

He noticed that the sky was grey, and the rain started falling, covering his regrets and tears, almost nursing and comforting him.

"Oi."

Hashimoto turned around, surprised to see Hajime here, and mostly to see him alone. He noticed the group of friends and Kiku waiting, many meters away, sheltered from the rain. Hajime stared right at him, almost threatening but he looked much calmer than before – probably because he didn't have to worry that Kiku would make the mistake of giving this man one of her kidney.

"Everything she's been through, it's all because of you. All her hurt, all her sadness, all her pain, every tear, every scar, every time she felt her heart break, every time she thought she wasn't loved and didn't think her life matter…! It was all caused by YOUR recklessness, YOUR mistakes, YOUR cruelty. You are the reason for all her pain." Hajime said in a hissing voice.

Noburu didn't waver at the words, knowing it was the unfortunate truth.

"And yet… she still has a soul so pure… and a heart so full of love… that she's willing to forgive you…" He concluded, his voice filling with awe when talking about Kiku, "You don't deserve such a selfless daughter. She's NOT your daughter so… get out of her life."

Hajime sent a last, firm glare at the man, to make sure his message was clear and understood. When Hashimoto didn't say anything, he considered the message had gone into his head. Hajime turned around to join Kiku and the others when he was called:

"Iwaizumi… Iwaizumi Hajime-kun, isn't it? It's your name, right?" Hashimoto called, making him look from over his shoulder, "…Please, take care of her…"

Huffing, Hajime turned around and remained silent, but both men knew that this silence meant _"who do you think I am?!"_ and so, he walked away from the man who had almost ruined yet again Kiku's life.

Hajime joined his friends under the shelter, the rain already starting to slow down after the quick downpour.

"What did you talk about?" Kiku asked him curiously while he shook his head like a dog, sending drops of water to everyone who whined.

"Just made a few things clear." He answered.

He looked down at his beautiful, precious girlfriend. Her hair a little humid from the rain, her wide, curious, blue eyes staring up at him.

" _Take care of her…"_

 _No need to ask it of me_ , he thought, leaning down and surprising her with a kiss.

Kiku gasped and blushed, not used to such demonstration of love in public, even though it was just their friends. But from the sudden hooting and teasing they shouted, they were as shocked as she was; and a lot more embarrassing. Hajime pulled away, flushing but he was smiling, the couple ignoring their friends' teasing in the background.

"I love you, cupcake."

She seemed surprised once again but smiled beautifully, kissing him again.

"I love you too, muffin," she answered with a chuckle.

She took his hand and started pulling him towards the rain.

"Wait! It's still raining, guys!" Mattsun exclaimed.

"Leave them be, Mattsun~!" Oikawa said with a chuckle.

Kiku laughed, starting to run under the light rain and pulling Hajime with her. Holding hands, laughing, they spun and danced, ignoring whoever might look at them. Kiku's smile was so bright and her laugh so happy, it seemed to chase the clouds away. The sun appearing once again made her hair and eyes shine and without surprise, Hajime fell in love all over again with her.

 _A few months later, April, at Sendai's train station…_

"You have your bag? Your ticket? The papers for the apartment? Your father will be waiting for you there, but still, make sure you have everything once again…" Nanami said frenetically.

"Mom, it's going to be fine… I have _everything_." Kiku said with a reassuring smile.

"You've grown so much… I can't believe you're already leaving, for Tokyo, to study… Be careful over there, it's full of thugs and yakuzas… Come back to see us soon, okay? I'll miss you so much my baby girl…"

" _Mom_ , I won't be that far away… I'll be fine… I promise…"

"Call me as soon as you arrive…"

"Yes, I will. Don't worry, I won't be alone anyway… Oikawa-kun will be here too."

"That's not much reassurance, we both know you'll be the one taking care of _him_." Nanami said.

Mother and daughter shared a smile and a chuckle and Kiku hugged her tightly.

The finals had come and they had graduated, all ready to start their life as young adults at the university. Oikawa and Kiku were the only ones of the group who would be moving from Miyagi, going to Tokyo and surprisingly, they ended up in the same building. Well, they _had_ tried to be near each other, but they hadn't expected to be both accepted in the same building, just one floor away. Because of that, they had decided to leave on the same train, and Kiku's father had used his bakery truck to move all her boxes and stuff along with Oikawa's. Shouta and Oikawa's father had left in the early morning to be in Tokyo when the teenagers would arrive.

Kiku turned towards Makki, both awkwardly staring at each other for a short moment. They had been annoying neighbors before becoming teammates and friends. They still had some trouble bearing each other's company at times but…

"I know I don't really act that way, never did and I never admitted it before but… we're friends, okay?" He said, with a smile.

"I know that, creampuff. Don't make a mess while I'm gone." She said, pulling at his cheek.

"Don't do that!" He exclaimed pulling away before ruffling her hair but she slapped his hand away when he made a mess, "And if Oikawa gets too annoying, don't hesitate to send him us in a box."

"Oi! I heard that!" Oikawa exclaimed from a few meters away.

"I can't believe I'm saying that, but I think I'm going to miss you, Taka-chan," she said, looking amused.

"Urgh… don't call me that… and… I'm going to miss you too, alien-mermaid…" He answered.

She chuckled and they stared at each other, then he opened his arms and she hugged him. Very quickly though, before it would get any more awkward.

"Aaaww, aren't you cute… you're gonna miss your mommy!" Mattsun mocked, leaning on Makki and pulling at his cheek too, "Do I get a hug too?"

He opened his arms and Kiku went into it as well, the middle-blocker lifting her up very high, making her laugh.

A few meters away, after saying goodbye to his family, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were staring at the scene from afar, both smiling in amusement and fondness.

"Y'know… I never properly thanked you for what you did…" Iwaizumi suddenly spoke up.

"Uh?"

"Kiku and I. The devil only knows how you did it, but at the beginning… you played match-makers for us, right?"

"Uum… maybe a little~!" Oikawa admitted, embarrassed.

Iwaizumi turned towards him with a grateful smile.

"I only get to know that much happiness thanks to you… so thank you, Oikawa."

He blinked in surprise before smiling, and for once, it was a genuine smile.

"I'm happy for you. And I'm counting on you to play match-maker for me~!" He answered.

"Geh, I could never do that, but Kiku probably has a few tricks up her sleeve for you." Iwa-chan answered, chuckling in amusement.

His best friend laughed as well but their laughs quickly died, melancholic smiles on their faces.

"…You're going to be away, it's going to be weird to not see you suddenly show up out of nowhere into my room…" Iwaizumi started, "…I'm going to play with a different setter…"

"I'm going to play with different spikers…"

"And among them, Ushiwaka," Iwaizumi remarked, Oikawa making a face at that.

"I didn't think it'd be _that_ nerve-wracking to go somewhere where you wouldn't follow…" Oikawa admitted.

"Just you wait, soon enough, you'll be the one following me."

"I wouldn't expect less from you, Ace!"

They stared at each other, thinking back on the years playing together, on the same team, the absolute best duo. No matter where they were, what team they would play with, they both knew they were partners and that wouldn't change.

Hajime lifted up his fist and Tooru answered to it, the same gesture they had done countless times.

"I… will you watch over her for me…? Please?" Hajime said, his smile disappearing as he glanced at Kiku who was saying goodbye to Yuuna and Shi-chan.

"Iwa-chan… it's an honor you'd trust her with me… and of course, you can count on me!" He answered.

Hajime was relieved, and they looked at each other again, realizing that… this was it. Goodbye. Just for a while, but it would still be the longest time they'll spend without one another. Tears suddenly filled Tooru's eyes, startling his best friend.

"O-oi! What the–"

"I'm going to miss you, Iwa-chan…!" He whined, suddenly jumping on him.

Hajime startled, but felt his own eyes sting.

"O-oi… Trashykawa! Stop that… I… we said we wouldn't cry… damn it…" He muttered.

A few tears escaped his eyes and hugged Oikawa back.

"I'm going to miss you too, dumbass…" He mumbled.

"Just hurry up to come in Tokyo to shout at me! And try growing up as tall as Ushiwaka so we can finally beat him, you're too short now and it's difficult to hug you!"

"…I'm going to hit you."

But Oikawa laughed, and Iwaizumi couldn't help but smile a little.

"See you soon, partner," he said, lifting up his fist once again.

"See you soon, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa answered.

Then, the rest of their teammates jumped on them, and especially Oikawa, annoying him. Hajime stepped away just as Kiku arrived at his side. She glanced up at him and he smiled, looking a little clumsy and embarrassed.

"You'll look after him, right? Make sure he doesn't injure himself or gets too stupid and reckless? Right?" He asked.

"I promise. I'll look after him." She said.

"And…"

His voice trailed off and instead of saying anything, he took her hand in his. They stared at each other, hearts full of love and sadness at the perspective of being far from each other's arms.

"I know." Kiku said, squeezing his hand.

He smiled back and reached for something in his pocket, taking out a little packet.

"It's, uhh… I know it's not your birthday yet but… I wanted to offer your birthday gift before you'd leave. As a reminder. Um, a _promise_ , rather."

"C-can I open it?" She asked shyly.

He nodded, almost enthusiastically, despite the blushing on his cheeks. She opened the package and found a little box saying "promise rings" and two adjustable rings, one male, one female, entwined together. She smiled brightly and looked up at Hajime who smiled back.

"I thought… it'd be nice to have something to look at to think of the other when we'll be lonely…"

She opened the little box and untangle the two rings, handing the male one to him, and looking at the pretty one she'll keep. It was a simple, twisted silvery ring.

"What do we promise exactly? Because we've been doing countless promises recently. These rings stand for which one?" She asked curiously, amusement shining in her eyes.

"I'm not sure… let's promise…"

To see each other again? To stay together? To trust each other? To love more and more? To never leave the other?

"Uuuh… I don't know, um… let's promise to… happily ever after?" He proposed.

She stared at him, a little stunned by his proposition. He blushed and looked away.

"Geeh, it sounds so cheesy…" He muttered under his breath.

Kiku chuckled and took his hands. She went on her tiptoes and got him to lean down, kissing his lips tenderly. Their kiss was full of love and sweetness with a pinch of sadness when they pulled away.

"Let's promise to happily ever after, then…" She whispered against his lips.

He smiled and they stumbled to put on the rings while they were so close and kept their fingers entwined. He was about to kiss her again when an announcement made them freeze.

" _All passengers for the train in destination of Tokyo that will depart from the platform A, the train will leave in five minutes. Please take your seats."_

"Kiku-chan, we have to go!" Oikawa called.

Kiku and Hajime pulled away regretfully, but he kissed her cheek another time. They hugged their parents quickly and Hajime accompanied Kiku all the way into the train, lifting up her bag that Oikawa took while he went to find their seats.

Kiku and Hajime wanted to talk, but they didn't know what to say anymore, they had said everything, and nothing seemed important enough at the moment. He lifted up her hands and kissed them warmly, making her smile.

"See you soon, Hajime!" She exclaimed, stepping away so the doors could close.

She quickly joined Oikawa and from the windows, they waved to their friends and families while the train was going away. Both Kiku and Hajime didn't stop smiling for as long as they could see each other, but as soon as they were out of view, their shoulders dropped.

"You're gonna cry?" Makki asked Iwaizumi who pretended he wasn't crying.

"Here," Mattsun said, handing him a handkerchief.

Iwaizumi sniffed, but took the handkerchief anyway. Meanwhile, Oikawa was the one comforting Kiku the best he could, though, half-way through it he started being the one crying and needing comfort.

Kiku watched the landscapes go by then glanced down at her promise ring. Somehow, she knew that at this very moment, Hajime was staring at it too.

It might take some time, but they'll have it, their happily ever after.

* * *

 _As promised, the epilogue will arrive as soon as I'm done rereading it! ;)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	59. Epilogue

_Here is the epilogue~!_

 _I want to thank everyone who read this story so far and for your support. You have no idea how grateful I am to you all for reading my story and hopefully, you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)_

 _Thank you! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER LIVX : Epilogue

" _When you find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stand in front of you when others cast stones, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who will hold your hand when you're sick, who thinks you're pretty without makeup, the one who turns to his friends and say, 'that's her', the one that would bear your rejection because losing you means losing his will to live, who kisses you when you screw up, watches the stars and names one for you and will hold and rock that baby for hours so you can sleep… you marry him all over again."_

― **Shannon L. Alder**

" _You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together."_

― **Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook**

" _However motherhood comes to you, it's a miracle."_

― **Valerie Harper**

" _Happiness is only real when shared."_

― **Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild**

" _We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone."_

— **Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love You**

" _What are the chances that the universe gives a second chance at someone as rare and wonderful as you…?"_

— **Ranata Suzuki**

" _You learned to laugh before you learned to talk."_

— **Anonymous**

" _There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."_

― **Albert Einstein**

" _Believe in your heart that you're meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles."_

― **Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart**

" _Miracles were just second chances if you really thought about it-second chances when all hope was lost."_

― **Kaya McLaren, How I Came to Sparkle Again**

" _Home isn't where you're from, it's where you find light when all grows dark."_

― **Pierce Brown, Golden Son**

" _In a child's eyes, a mother is a goddess. She can be glorious or terrible, benevolent or filled with wrath, but she commands love either way. I am convinced that this is the greatest power in the universe."_

― **N.K. Jemisin, The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms**

" _I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child."_

― **Anne Lamott, Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year**

Hajime put a huge bag in the car boot. He counted the bags, making sure everything was there, then closed the boot and turned around to go back into the house.

He went into the living-room but was surprised to see no one. He looked around then sighed:

"Atsushi!" He called, "Where are you hiding?"

He went into his son's bedroom, but he wasn't there. So, he went directly into his and Kiku's bedroom, where Atsushi usually hid. Hajime opened the wardrobe door and pushed away all the clothes hanging, crouching down.

"Hey, buddy, what are you doing here?" He asked with a smile.

His son, curled up and hidden all the way in the back, looked up at him, hugging his Godzilla plushy even tighter.

"I don't want to go…" He murmured, voice trembling a little.

Hajime's smile wavered a little but he forced his smile to stay on.

"Why not? You're going to spend the summer holiday with all your uncles and aunts, and there'll be Hoshiko, and Hideyoshi, and Nadeshiko… and everyone else. It's gonna be fun, right?"

"But you and mommy won't be here…"

Hajime couldn't keep his smile on and let it disappear. He looked down very quickly before reaching to grab his son, easily lifting him up and slowly carrying him downstairs.

"I want to see mommy…" Atsushi murmured, pulling at Hajime's collar with his tiny hand.

"You can't see mommy for now, minizilla, we talked about this…" He answered, looking straight ahead.

Atsushi didn't answer, hiding his face in his shoulder until Hajime settled him into his seat in the car, checking twice that he was well attached. He locked the house, checked the bags one last time, then drove off. Atsushi was a quiet child so with only the two of them, the journey was peaceful.

Hajime looked at Atsushi through the mirror, and saw him looking out the window at the landscape going by. Dark hair and dark eyes, the same spiky hair for all the Iwaizumi males, everyone's first reaction when seeing Atsushi and Hajime was that he looked just like his father.

Hajime glanced at his wedding ring, on his left hand, and on the hour or so of journey to get to the Bokuto summer household, he couldn't help but let melancholy hit him.

On his second year of Biology, he decided to move to Tokyo and continue his studies there. Partly because studying and practicing away from the rest of the National team was getting difficult, partly because he was content with his progress as an individual spiker, and mostly because he missed Kiku so much. This spring, they moved into an apartment together, like most of their friends did with their respective girlfriends. Nothing changed between Hajime and Kiku except that they could spend all their time together and got to spend every night with one another. After being apart for a year, after all their promises, and now living together, there was the quiet promise that someday, they'd become more than just a couple. But they kept their wishes and dreams of future in a quiet corner of their minds even if every once in a while, Bokuto and his Ayaka would enthusiastically talk about everyone's weddings and everyone's children; even if Oikawa and his Shiori decided to get married after only a year together… but it was there, they knew it and didn't need to talk about it.

" _When are you going to ask Kiku to marry you?" Oikawa asked someday when they were hanging out just the two of them._

" _Eh? Where did that come from?" Iwaizumi answered, frowning._

 _Oikawa put down the magazine he was reading and rolled on his side to look at him._

" _You two have been together since_ _ **high-school**_ _! Don't you think it's time you get serious?"_

" _We_ _ **live**_ _together, and we don't need to be married to prove we are serious; we have been since high-school." He answered with a shrug._

" _ **Right**_ _…" Oikawa said, sounding strange – it wasn't doubtful but it was enough to get Iwaizumi to raise his eyebrow curiously._

" _You know something?" He asked, "Until now you've miraculously kept your nose out of Kiku and I's relationship, well you have kept your nose out of it since we ended high-school. Why do you ask that so suddenly?"_

" _Well…"_

 _Oikawa glanced away and tapped the floor he was laying on with his fingers. The golden ring on his left hand shone under the sun, reminding Iwaizumi that as flashy and childish as he could be… Oikawa had been the first one getting married with Shiori. Well, if Bokuto didn't have to wait for Ayaka to finish her studies, these two would have been married since high-school…_

" _Shiori told me something that Kiku told her, which I'm not supposed to know and even less share but– she did a pregnancy test."_

 _Hajime's heart sped up, suddenly overjoyed and excited and feeling all giddy._

" _It turned out negative," Oikawa added, "but it got Kiku-chan worried about every future plan you two might have. She said that she didn't understand why you were waiting so long to talk about marriage and babies when you both want it and you know how she is – her fears were starting to resurface again. So I thought I might need to kick your butt to get you to marry her before she_ _ **really**_ _freaks out."_

 _Hajime couldn't help but feel disappointment – that the pregnancy test had turned out negative and that Kiku still thought he wasn't fully committed to her. But he could understand why she'd think so, with her past. Even more so that he had thought himself that she wasn't ready for marriage and children because_ _ **she**_ _wasn't talking about it. They had been both waiting for the other to make a move._

" _Also, Bottan is preparing to ask Ayaka! She's almost finished with her studies now! And I know that Kuroo is planning on asking Akane, even though he admitted himself that he had the idea very suddenly and he has no idea on how to do it or whether Akane wants a marriage or not. Ushiwaka and Hanako are practically engaged, as soon as his evil grandma gives them room to breathe! You're gonna be the last one if you don't hurry up and marry Kiku-chan!"_

"… _Akaashi isn't planning on asking Addie either." He remarked._

" _Akaashi is a year younger than us and Addie is two years younger than_ _ **him**_ _, they're babies! And believe me, they're not gonna wait long once Bokuto is married! Bottan will probably be the one to ask Addie in marriage for Akaashi if he doesn't hurry up to do it himself!" Oikawa exclaimed with a shake of his head._

" _They have been dating for three years, which is more than_ _ **you**_ _waited for before marrying Shiori."_

" _Which gets us back to my initial point: what are you waiting for, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked again, not giving up._

 _Iwaizumi didn't answer, looking thoughtful. Oikawa started worrying and gasped:_

" _Wait! You're not thinking of ending things with Kiku-chan, right?!"_

" _NO, I'm not! I'm just thinking… that I have thought about asking her…"_

" _But you didn't have the balls for it, uh?"_

 _Iwaizumi grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at Oikawa who fell down with a dramatic cry._

" _I talked with her father when we went back in Miyagi for Christmas! We talked about it! And he gave me his blessing!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, flushing a little._

 _Oikawa shot up from the ground, throwing the pillow back at Iwaizumi who avoided it._

" _THEN! You_ _ **are**_ _getting married! Do you have the ring yet?! Can I see it?! Do you know how and when you'll propose?! What sort of romantic setting do you want? Do you need my advice and–"_

" _NO! Please! Stay out of this! I know you're trying to help, but–"_

" _Could it be you're waiting for her birthday?! What a wonderful gift!" Oikawa exclaimed, realizing that Kiku's birthday was right around the corner._

 _Iwaizumi rolled his eyes before answering:_

" _I haven't thought about the specifics! I haven't found a ring yet! Nothing feels right!"_

" _We'll have to ask Micchan to help us organize the wedding!"_

" _It's my wedding, not yours! You already got one! And don't tell Mio anything! Tendou can't keep his mouth shut!"_

" _I won't, I won't!"_

" _You'd better not!"_

 _It was a blessing, or a curse, for everyone that Tendou's 'fiancée', Miyamoto Mio, was a wedding planner – it was the Miyamoto family business. But it also meant that Mio was trying to get everyone to get married as soon as possible, usually teasing and embarrassing all the couples – recently, Kuroo had snapped telling Tendou and Mio to just get married already. They had blinked and blushed but without missing a beat, Tendou had gotten on one knee, pulled out a ring and asked for her hand. They still didn't know if he had been expecting someone telling them that and he had planned it all ahead of time, but it was funny and sort of romantic. She said yes, obviously. Though, she had also slapped the back of his head for doing it in front of everyone._

 _Unfortunately for Hajime, it was too much asking Oikawa to keep his excitement and impatience in check. Though, he_ _ **did**_ _manage to wait three days before telling Shiori, who told Ushiwaka, who told Tendou, who told Mio, who then called Iwaizumi. He wasn't even surprised that she knew and was asking him what he was planning on doing, but she didn't seem to know that he and Kiku weren't engaged_ _ **yet**_ _– he was just glad that Kiku was in the bath and hadn't been the one answering to this phone call or it would have been embarrassing to explain. After some awkward stammering, he managed to explain everything to Mio, who calmed down enough to give him some addresses for wedding rings. She was definitely expecting him to make a move soon._

 _For some reason (the reason being called Oikawa Tooru), Bokuto, Kuroo and Akaashi soon congratulated him and Kiku. She was usually very confused as to why she was being congratulated, but with some frightening recoveries, Iwaizumi always managed to save the situation. Then, when their former teammates of Aoba Jousai sent "congratulation for your engagement" cards, Iwaizumi had to wait everyday for the mail to make sure Kiku wouldn't be the one to get the mail and see that._

" _Iwa-chan! It's terrible!" Oikawa exclaimed someday when he arrived at practice._

" _You found out that E.T. isn't real?" Iwaizumi mumbled without looking up from his phone._

" _You are such a– NO! Kiku-chan thinks you're cheating on her!"_

 _Iwaizumi froze and everyone turned around as he looked up, clenching his phone so hard that he was close to breaking it._

" _What have you done?" He hissed, glaring at his friend._

" _I haven't done anything!" He exclaimed, offended to be accused, "It's_ _ **your**_ _weird behavior lately! Always being awkward and jumpy and trying to hide things from her! She told Shiori who told me!"_

" _You are such a–"_

 _Iwaizumi was close to actually strangle Oikawa, but he took deep breaths to calm down. Then he pointed a finger at Oikawa who startled, stepping away._

" _You. You'd better not say anything else to anyone else. I wouldn't have to hide anything if it weren't for you getting ideas into everyone's heads and then everyone spreading rumors that we were getting married! My parents called me last night to congratulate me – they had heard from Kiku's parents! How did they find out?! Did they tell her?! I don't even know!" He exclaimed in panic, shaking his hair._

" _You wouldn't be here if you had asked her hand already!"_

" _You're going to get my fist in your face and your wife won't even recognize you if you continue!" Iwaizumi threatened._

" _All right, calm down, everyone!" Bokuto exclaimed, "I'm sure everything will be fine – Kiku-chan will understand, she knows Oikawa, after all!"_

" _Why am I getting accused of being at fault in this story?! I'm just trying to get Iwa-chan to marry the woman he loves!" He exclaimed, hands on his heart._

" _And now she thinks he's cheating on her. You're doing a_ _ **great**_ _job at that." Kuroo mocked._

 _Oikawa's lips trembled but then Iwaizumi intervened:_

" _Nevermind! It doesn't matter anyway! I'll have to talk with Kiku about that eventually!"_

 _The others didn't say anything when they noticed how nervous and annoyed he was. Oikawa did try to apologize but was royally ignored for the entire practice._

 _When Hajime went home that day, exhausted, more from the constant rummaging than the practice, he didn't expect Kiku to be waiting for him in the living-room with_ _ **the look**_ _. The look that said 'we need to talk, sit' and didn't leave any choice. Without a word, but pouting, he went to sit next to her and she spoke up:_

" _I… believe you're hiding something from me, Hajime. For a while, I was thinking you were having an affair."_

" _I'm not! I swear! I only love you but – wait, for a while? It means… you don't think that anymore then?" He realized, panic then relief hitting him in waves._

" _No, because I trust you," she said with a smile._

" _Kiku…" He whispered, about to reveal everything to her and ask her hand right here and now._

" _But… I wanted to do some laundry and I found… all_ _ **that**_ _. And I think we need to talk about it, Hajime."_

 _She took out the congratulation cards he had hidden – he had been in a hurry this morning and had just put them in his jacket's pockets. He closed his eyes, biting on his lower lip as she continued:_

" _I thought it was a joke – it wouldn't be surprising with our friends… but then, I also found… a ring…"_

 _She pulled out the ring he had bought just the previous day and put it on the table. He had come home late because he had been looking for a ring once again, but no shop had anything satisfying. Then, because he went through a tiny street he didn't usually go through unless he had to hurry, he found a tiny antiquities shop. It had a box with several rings on display. He saw one, golden with a sapphire on top and immediately thought it was perfect for Kiku. It was old, not perfect, but it was still beautiful – like his Kiku. He wasn't even certain he'd use this ring to ask her hand but…_

" _I'm sorry, I should have talked to you about it before but… I just didn't know how to start the topic so suddenly…" He explained, avoiding looking at her directly._

 _He turned to her and took her hands in his, edging closer. She blushed and her eyes sparkled, both feeling the excitement of what was happening filling the air with something magical. Smiling, Hajime continued:_

" _You are the love of my life and I have been thinking about asking you to do me the honor of marrying me for a while, but I couldn't find a ring and then I found this one yesterday, in an antiquities shop and I just– I mean, you might want a new ring, and I'd understand, and if you want this ring… or_ _ **not**_ _– I mean, you could…_ _ **we**_ _could… we… I… um…"_

 _He blushed at his stammering and she chuckled, but before she could say anything, he grabbed his courage in two hands and spoke up, looking into her eyes:_

" _Will you… marry me?" He asked softly, in the voice and with the gaze he used only with her._

 _Kiku smiled brightly, a joyful chuckle escaping her lips, her eyes filling with happy tears. Then she grabbed his cheeks and kissed him, a short but tender kiss before pulling away to answer:_

" _Yes! Of course, I will! And this ring is beautiful and perfect! I love it! As much as I love you!"_

 _She kissed him again and he was too stunned by the proposal and her positive answer to react- but then he kissed he passionately, happily and when he pushed the ring on her left finger, the proof they were engaged and would soon get to the next step of their life together, he carried her to the bedroom and made sweet love to her for hours._

 _Cuddling while she was admiring the ring in the mid-darkness, Kiku turned around, pressing her body against his._

" _I'm so happy, Hajime." She whispered against his chest._

" _Me too, cupcake… I'm the happiest man alive!" He answered, chuckling and kissing her forehead._

 _She chuckled then went quiet, then he felt her lips tilt up in amusement against his skin. She moved to look into his eyes, her messy her falling around._

" _So… which one of our friends do I have to thank to get you to_ _ **finally**_ _make a move?" She asked knowingly._

 _He made a face and blushed, but she laughed and kissed his nose. She knew him too well._

 _Their wedding was soon after. It was small, with just families and friends. But it was the most beautiful day of their lives._

" _So, when are you going to announce we're going to become grandparents?" Nanami asked at some family reunion a few months after their wedding._

" _At long last! You waited so long to get married, don't wait too long to try for babies as well!" Umeko added._

" _Two of your friends are parents of twins already, right?" Shouta continued._

 _Hajime and Kiku flushed in embarrassment, avoiding looking at their parents with awkward smiles. No matter how many years went by, they were still shy in front of them._

" _We… well, we haven't really tried yet. We just moved into the house and there are plenty of things to do still so…" Kiku explained before taking a sip of her drink._

" _How is the painting going?" Takashi asked, turning towards Hajime as the men started talking about the different troubles the newly married couple had had to take care of when they had moved into their new house._

" _Tooru-chan and Shiori-chan moved right in front of your house, right? It's nice you can be neighbors!" Umeko continued, turning towards her daughter-in-law._

" _Yes, but Hajime wasn't thrilled about it at first… Tooru and Shiori_ _ **did**_ _surprise us by moving in front of our house without asking our opinion beforehand," she answered, remembering in amusement Hajime's annoyance when his best friend showed up as their new neighbor._

" _I can imagine! But these two can't be apart!" Umeko exclaimed with a laugh._

 _The conversation became background noise for Kiku who looked out the window._

 _Hajime glanced at her and noticed her far-away look. He took her hand in his, but she barely reacted to it, and he didn't say a thing, continuing to listen to his father, and father-in-law's advices._

" _I think I should see the doctor." Kiku said on their way back to Tokyo after this family reunion._

 _Hajime glanced at her very quickly, before focusing back on the road:_

" _You're feeling sick? You've been off for a few days, especially today. I was giving you space because I thought you were just tired but…"_

"… _I'm… I'm okay, I think. I don't know. I just… I need to see the doctor…" She said in a hushed voice._

" _Why? If you're feeling okay there's no need – if you're telling that, then there's a specific reason!" He exclaimed, not realizing he had raised his voice._

 _When she didn't answer, he took a deep breath to calm down before speaking up again:_

" _You know you can talk to me, cupcake. I'm with you through everything. You know that, right?"_

 _There was a moment of silence when he glanced at her occasionally until she finally felt like talking:_

"… _We've been trying… for almost two years now, Hajime…" Kiku said, turning to him with a sad expression._

"… _We've been_ _ **actively**_ _trying for only six months or so, since the wedding. This sort of things takes time, it's normal, Kiku." He answered, now understanding why she felt so off._

 _The moment Kiku started working at a law firm specialized in child-care and adoption, like she had wanted to, because their lives were stable and they both had jobs, they had talked about babies. They weren't married yet and hadn't talked about wedding yet but they knew they wanted a child and with their lives being good, there was no need to be as careful as they used to be. They weren't actively trying to have a child, but an accident wouldn't have been a problem. That was what they used to think. Hajime actually was the one to mention the topic first – when he brought back a Godzilla pajama for baby. They didn't need to buy such a thing, but it was a way to tell her he was ready, and she answered by buying a parrot plushy. Then, once married, they decided they wanted their family. At first Kiku didn't get pregnant and remained positive, but then Ayaka got pregnant, and Akane was also pregnant, both with twins and over the months, every time Kiku thought she might have some symptom of pregnancy, it turned out to be a false hope. She hadn't said it was bothering her yet, but with their families and friends (mostly Oikawa who wanted Shiori and Kiku to have children around the same time so they could be raised together like he and Iwa-chan had been) urging them to have children…_

" _Ayaka got pregnant right after her wedding–"_

" _The amount of sex Bokuto and Ayaka have isn't physically achievable – these two aren't normal, they're not a reference!"_

" _Akane wasn't even trying to get pregnant!"_

" _She is– you know how she and Kuroo are! Once again, not a reference!"_

" _Shiori is starting to get impatient and–"_

" _It's_ _ **our**_ _family! Not theirs! Stop comparing yourself to others and their ~accomplishments~! If Oikawa and Shiori decide to have some baby alien, then they don't need to wait for us! We'll take the time it needs and that's it!"_

 _Kiku turned her head away, breathing heavily. He clicked is tongue, realizing he had only screamed instead of reassuring her. He reached for her hand but couldn't get it so he squeezed her thigh._

" _We'll have our family too, cupcake. It just needs some more time than others. It's okay."_

" _What if there's something wrong with me?" She asked, voice strangled by the tears she was holding back._

" _There's nothing wrong with you. Maybe I'm the one who has something wrong."_

" _Don't say that–"_

" _Then stop saying there's something wrong with you!"_

 _There was silence again and this time, Kiku was the one to reach for his hand, squeezing it, seeking and giving comfort._

" _I'll go to the doctor," she decided._

"… _I'll go with you, then," he answered._

 _She glanced at him, eyes teary and she nodded. Their fingers entwined, the rest of their journey was quiet._

 _Some time later, they were receiving the results of the various tests they had been asked to do by the doctor to find out why they couldn't have a child._

" _I'm sorry but it appears you are infertile, Iwaizumi-san," the doctor said darkly, looking at Kiku._

 _She opened and closed her lips but didn't seem surprised, just shaken up. Hajime turned to her, then back at the doctor, then back at Kiku. And he grabbed her hand. She remained calm but her grip on his hand was so tight he could tell she desperately needed it to not break._

" _After the various tests you and your husband did, we found out that you may be infertile."_

" _ **May**_ _be?" Hajime repeated._

" _Various small factors have had a consequence on your wife's fertility – mostly her medical past… Heavy medication, depression, stress and anxiety are all factors that increase the risk of infertility. Some other unknown factors might have increased the consequences."_

" _B-but…"_

 _Hajime turned towards Kiku once again. She was looking outside the window, and didn't seem to be here. He squeezed her hand but she didn't react. He knew that her past was still haunting her at times and now knowing that it had a direct consequence in their family…_

" _I-isn't there a way…?" He asked the doctor._

" _It's not impossible for you to have a child if you keep trying, but it might take some time. Of course, there are other ways to increase fertility and make it easier for you."_

 _The doctor kept talking but Kiku didn't listen, his words didn't mean a thing anymore. She was… strangely calm and quiet. Her heart was breaking but it was far from the terrible storm she usually felt when she broke down._

 _Kiku didn't say a thing until they went home. She had only followed Hajime around without looking. He was worried for her, but he was also too shaken up by the news to think clearly. They wouldn't have a child? Not soon if they were_ _ **lucky?**_ _What… whatever the doctor had said didn't seem to have made any sense. Pregnancy was possible but fertility was low? They… wouldn't have their family, after all?_

 _Once in the house, Kiku went upstairs and locked herself up. Hajime followed and tapped at the door, but he only heard her sniffles and sobs through the door._

" _Kiku… open the door for me… please…" He asked._

 _He knew she was safe and wouldn't do anything stupid but… he wanted to be with her. And he wanted her to be with him too…_

 _Knowing she wouldn't open until she felt ready, he turned around to go downstairs, not sure of what he'll do… He slowed down when he arrived past the closed bedroom. He hesitated before opening it and entered the bedroom that was supposed to become their baby's bedroom. The walls were already painted light green with little animals. There was a bed already. And there were plenty of baby clothes and plushies._

 _He started shaking and felt tears fill his eyes. He wasn't sure why but he felt guilty and ashamed, like a failure – and yet, how did Kiku feel? Knowing she was… knowing it was her past that might have caused it all._

 _Hajime left the baby's bedroom, feeling sick and angry and sad. Angry at the world and all the people who had forced Kiku to go through all this misery that led to her infertility… They couldn't be happy, not truly. All because the past kept catching up to them._

 _Kiku came back downstairs, eyes red from crying, and found Hajime in the living-room. He was looking at the medical papers, as if rereading them again and again might help him find a solution. The family photo album was also opened, to the page right after their wedding pictures, where the… baby pictures should have been. It was Hajime's decision, to keep some room for the baby pictures. It was Hajime's decision to half-try for a baby even before they were married. It was Hajime's decision to choose a house with the thought of children, and it was his decision to start painting and decorating the baby's bedroom._

 _He wanted to be a father. But she couldn't give it to him. After everything he had given her, she couldn't even allow him to be a father._

 _Hajime looked up and saw her standing there. Before he could speak up though, she approached and sat next to him. They stared at each other, silent and sad, and not knowing what to do or say._

" _I…" Kiku started shakily, "Hajime, I would understand if… despite everything, you would prefer… if you would try to have a family with someone else."_

" _What… what are you talking about?" He whispered._

 _She looked away, her fingers nervously rummaging with her wedding ring._

" _I-I'm saying that if you want a divorce and want to be with someone who can give you a… a child, I would understand. I want your happiness before anything else and you can't be fully happy without a family…"_

" _Kiku, stop it… I'm not… I can't live without you, you're my wife and the love of my life…" He murmured, taking her hands in his and forcing her to look back at him, "I don't care about having children, as long as we're together and we're happy, I'm okay! We can still be a family – just you and me, and the pets, and maybe in the future we could adopt… we always said we'd adopt someday anyway. It'll just be… a little different from what we had imagined. But…"_

 _He shook his head then leaned his forehead against hers, green eyes diving into blue ones:_

" _But… don't leave me… please… I need you, I love you… with or without a child…"_

 _More tears filled her eyes and she lowered her head, shoulders shaking._

" _I… I'm sorry…" She breathed._

 _He shook his head and pulled her to his chest. That was when she broke down, sobbing and holding onto him desperately, his shirt getting wet from her tears._

" _I'm sorry…! I'm so sorry…!" She kept repeating._

" _Ssshh… it's okay… I love you, I'm not leaving you… don't be sorry, my love…" He kept telling her._

 _For a few days, Kiku was completely off to the point she needed to be back on medication. The worst part was that every time she took a pill, even though knowing it was necessary to keep functioning, it lowered a little more her fertility. The doctor had said pregnancy was possible but the possibility was low. Maybe someday, if they were lucky, in many years, but the family they had started to think of, to imagine now felt like a faraway dream. Something out of reach and impossible to get. Ever._

 _From the beginning of their relationship they had always thought they'd have one child or two, and adopt one or two later. They could still adopt but… it almost felt wrong. It might be selfish but both Kiku and Hajime wanted their own child, created from their love, rather than take in another child who needed love. Even if some of her friends might disagree, Kiku wanted to go through the pregnancy no matter how painful and difficult it might be._

 _They didn't talk about this matter for a few days, that turned into a few weeks. The papers from the doctor were resting on a pile, in a dark corner they didn't look at. When Kiku started feeling a little better, Hajime tried to get them back in their usual routine of work and practice and cooking together and spending amazing nights together. It was almost the same as before. Almost. But something was gone, mostly because now whenever they made love, it wasn't with the spark of excitement thinking_ _ **"is it going to be the time we'll conceive our baby?"**_ _because they knew it wouldn't happen._

 _Hajime hated that, almost as much as Kiku, but the distance grew between them. Just a little, but it was enough. And because of this distance, they talked a little more about the infertility problem. Not like they could find any solution, there wasn't any. Then, because their families and friends kept harassing them for babies they considered telling them. Eventually, they'll have to. But it was difficult. Just thinking of telling them something was wrong and they couldn't have a family… they could already feel the pity from their friends, the sadness and they hated that before it even happened. So they waited a little longer…_

 _One day, Hajime was all alone at home. Kiku was at work, which must have been even more difficult for her considering she was always dealing with children, but she was feeling better enough to not need medication to go on. There was no practice today and it wasn't much of a surprise when the door suddenly opened and Oikawa's chirpy voice resonated:_

" _Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan!" He exclaimed excitedly._

 _Hajime stood up when his friend arrived running, a huge grin on his smile. There was something weird, he was always sparkly but_ _ **that**_ _happy was unusual._

" _What is it?" He asked curiously._

" _Iwa-chan! I'm so happy if you knew!" Oikawa exclaimed, grabbing his shoulders suddenly._

" _What is it, then? Just say it!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, unable to hold back his smile by his friend's enthusiastic._

 _Oikawa jumped up and down, then tried to calm down to talk and took a deep breath:_

" _Okay! So, I know that Shiori and I had decided to wait for you and Kiku-chan, but we were half-trying anyway and we didn't think it'd work right away and I wanted you to be the first one to know but… but!"_

 _Hajime stared at him, raising an eyebrow to get him to talk. Oikawa's lips trembled in excitement, cheeks red as he blurted out:_

" _Shiori is pregnant! W-we're going to have a baby!" He exclaimed excitedly._

 _Hjime's smile wavered and dropped, his heart beating hollowly in his chest. He lowered his head and swallowed hard, which immediately got a reaction from Oikawa:_

" _H-hey… why do you look so gloomy?! I had thought you'd be happy for me! Shiori and I wanted this for a long time!"_

 _The last few weeks which had almost been a relief, with almost no thinking about Kiku and his' family suddenly hit him in the gut. He had tried so hard to be strong for Kiku that he hadn't mourned the baby he'd never have. Not yet. And now that his best friend, who had wanted to raise their children together (and Hajime low-key wanted the same but would never admit it), would be a father soon when_ _ **he**_ _couldn't…_

 _Tears filled his eyes so suddenly Hajime couldn't control the sob that escaped his throat. He covered his mouth but then, his hands went over his entire face, his entire body shaking for the loss of what he never had._

" _I-Iwa-chan… w-what's going on? Oi! What is it…?!" Oikawa exclaimed, grabbing him and starting to worry._

" _W-we can't! Kiku and I! We can't have children!" He blabbered, suddenly sounding weak and weary._

 _Saying it outloud to someone else was like another hit and his legs wavered. Oikawa grabbed him and pulled him to the couch where Hajime cried and sobbed for a long time. Oikawa tried comforting him, his own heart hurting and trying to understand what had happened…_

" _Iwa-chan, what happened?" He asked as soon as his friend had calmed down._

"… _We've been trying… for two years or so…" He admitted._

" _Wha– and you never told me?!" Oikawa exclaimed._

" _ **Because**_ _! The moment I would have told you, you and Shiori would have tried having a baby too and Kiku and I wanted to be certain it'd work easily for us!" He replied._

 _Oikawa startled guiltily, knowing it was right. The only reason why he and Shiori had waited these last two or three years was because they were waiting for Iwa-chan and Kiku-chan to try as well; perhaps they had had a feeling they might have difficulty having a child but then…_

" _How long have you known?" He asked in a calm, warm voice, trying to be as reassuring and comforting as he could._

" _A few weeks ago, we received the results of medical tests we did… Kiku… Her condition isn't complete infertility, and the doctor said that lots of minor factors on both of our sides might be to blame, but… did you know that depression, anxiety, heavy medication… lowered fertility?"_

 _Oikawa looked down, understanding that Kiku's past was yet again catching up to them, in the cruelest way._

 _Hajime had a bitter, short laugh._

" _Fuck… we'll never be able to leave it all behind, are we…? W-we can't have babies… we can't have the family we've dreamt of… not the way we wanted it at least…" He whispered, gaze lost in a haze after breaking down._

 _Oikawa put his hand on his back._

" _Is there really no way?" He asked._

"… _Maybe someday, if we're lucky but… it's… I don't have much hope. After everything that happened, we won't suddenly get lucky, y'know…"_

" _I'm… I'm so sorry… Hajime I…"_

" _It's not your fault. It's no one's fault, even though… Kiku kept blaming herself…" He murmured, looking down._

 _Oikawa stared at him, pressing his hand a little stronger for comfort, but it felt like it would never be enough. He was so happy about having a child, at long last, he had busted the news without warning, without thinking of the consequences and he had, involuntarily, hurt his best friend… He couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like – being told he couldn't have a baby with Shiori, their happiness cracked by this absence…_

" _I'm sorry I told you about Shiori without thinking and… I'm sorry I didn't understand earlier you were suffering. You were odd recently, both you and Kiku but… you two… you two are always so private and quiet, we can never understand what's really going with you… I always thought I understood you better than anyone – until Kiku showed up. And then, it was like you were a different person, thanks to love, and there was an entire side of you I didn't know or could understand… I-I should have known, or I should have told you Shiori and I were trying…"_

" _It's okay… I'm… I'm happy for you two… your child is probably going to be as beautiful and proud as you are but… I don't doubt he'll also be a genuine and talented being." Hajime said with a honest smile, even though he looked so tired._

" _Kiku-chan… how does she handle it?" Oikawa asked worriedly._

 _Hajime shrugged, shaking lightly his head then sighing._

" _Better now than a few weeks ago but… it's… I know she feels guilty. She… she said she wouldn't mind if I were to… divorce…"_

" _Will you?" Oikawa asked, surprised by this idea._

" _NO! Never! I could never do that… I love her too much to live a life without her, with or without a child… I just… I know I can't stop her from feelings what she feels but… I wish she would realize that I don't mind not being the father of our child, as long as someday, we have our own family…"_

 _Oikawa surrounded his shoulders with his arm, leaning towards him and squeezing his shoulder. No matter how touchy-feely he was, it was rare Oikawa showed such a genuine physical proof of affection. For once, Hajime was grateful for his friend's presence and his invasion of his privacy…_

" _I'm here for you, both you and Kiku-chan. And so is Shiori. And I'm willing to bet I can talk from all our friends, we're here to support you both. As soon as you're ready to talk, we'll listen and we'll understand."_

"… _Thanks… you're a great friend, Oikawa…"_

" _I'm your best friend after all! I'm the greatest of best friend!" He exclaimed, trying to light up the mood._

" _Yeah, you are…" He answered with a smile, surprising Oikawa by his honesty._

" _I-Iwa-chan…!"_

" _Geh…! Calm down now!"_

 _When Kiku went home that day, the house was mostly quiet. She looked for Hajime and found him upstairs, in the baby's bedroom… She hadn't entered it since learning the terrible truth but now… she was looking into it, the half-ready room, and seeing Hajime just look down at the empty crib. He looked up when he heard her and forced a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes._

 _Slowly, Kiku walked to him until they were face-to-face in silence, an almost peaceful quietness. She lifted up her hand, cupping his cheek and he leaned against the palm of her hand._

" _Your eyes are red, you've been crying," she remarked sadly, "Is this what you do when I'm not home? You come here, and cry?"_

 _Her voice broke a little, but she maintained her composure. His lips opened and closed and finally he sighed. He closed his eyes, nuzzling his nose against the palm of her hand, one of his hand holding onto her wrist, the other entwining his fingers with hers._

" _I… I usually don't… but Oikawa came today and… I know I shouldn't have said anything without warning you but… he knows… I supposed Shiori will know soon, if not already. And…"_

 _His voice trailed off but Kiku shook her head:_

" _It's okay… We would have had to tell them eventually. I'm glad you opened up to Tooru… you needed to talk about it…"_

" _I… think you need to know but… the reason why he found out is… because Shiori is pregnant…" He said, watching her hesitantly._

 _She didn't seem surprised, nor sad, but it took a little bit of time for her happy smile to appear._

" _We'd better be his godparents," she joked._

 _He couldn't help but chuckle, before pulling her a little closer then hugging. She held onto him tightly, whispering words he hadn't realized he needed to hear from her:_

" _We'll have our family someday, Hajime…"_

" _We will…" He said, hiding his face in her neck._

 _After this day, and after Tooru and Shiori found out, it was easier telling the others the truth. They talked to their friends first, all the currently pregnant ones being even more emotional and shocked (which was, practically all of them). Everyone was a little shocked but as expected, they were here for their friends. Then, they had to tell their families. It was a little harder and there were more tears, but it was a good weight off their chests. They still didn't know how to feel themselves about not having a child of their own while their friends' families were growing bigger._

 _Things were almost back to normal when it all changed again._

 _Kiku was at work, finishing a file for a child that had to change of houses a few times because of his bad biological parents._

" _Nakashima-san, how many files do you have?" One of their colleagues asked in the office of four different lawyers working in the same firm law and specialized area._

" _Don't tell me there's another one. My hands are full…!" Nakashima replied, showing her pile of files._

" _I'm completely stuck as well… and it's a difficult case, I don't think I could do much for it…"_

" _What happened?"_

" _A new-born abandoned in a dumpster," she answered, opening the file and going through it quickly._

 _Kiku froze before slowly looking up at her senpais, discussing about the file._

" _How could people be so cruel…?" Nakashima muttered, looking hesitant to take the file, her eyes glancing warily at the pile she already had to take care of._

 _Kiku's heart sped up, staring at the file in her senpai's hands. It… it hit close to her heart. It was close to what had happened to her, she probably shouldn't, it'll trigger bad memories…_

" _This poor baby will spend his life going from home to home." Nakashima murmured sadly._

" _Maybe with luck some parents in need of a child will take him in and take good care…"_

 _Kiku swallowed hard and spoke up without realizing it:_

" _I'll take it."_

 _All three of her senpais turned to her, surprised. They didn't know the details of her origins, but they hadn't expected her to speak up._

" _Are you sure, Kiku-chan? It's a very heavy file and you're already so overworked…" Nakashima said, blinking in disbelief._

" _I-I'll take it, if you think I am capable of handling it…" She answered with a nod._

 _The two lawyers glanced at each other then without quite realizing it, she received the file in her hands and had to take care of it._

 _A new-born baby boy abandoned in a dumpster, left to die, barely saved. It was just like her. She saw the pictures of the baby taken by the doctors and… her heart didn't squeeze like it usually did. It just warmed up and lit up. He had an adorable, angelic face, with spiky dark hair that reminded her of Hajime. She had always hoped that her child would have Hajime's hair, just for the fun of it. Her fingers caressed the picture and she couldn't help but smile softly._

 _If she didn't take good care of this file, this baby and found him a good home… he'll have the same life as she did. Going from home to home, family to family, never quite belonging… But maybe… maybe…_

 _That day, she went home earlier than usual, so she could talk with Hajime. They arrived practically in the same time, which surprised him, especially because of how excited she seemed._

" _Is there something you want to tell me, cupcake?" He asked curiously, amused by her behavior as she was obviously trying to hold back and calm down._

" _Y-yes… I… today, a new file came in!" She answered._

 _He hesitated. The files she took care of were mostly abused children, adopted children, miserable children…_

" _And… that makes you happy?" He asked, sounding confused._

" _Well… you know… we… we only talked about it very quickly but with my… my condition, our only possibility is to adopt."_

 _She looked up to him hopefully as understanding dawned on his face. Hajime hesitated as she continued:_

" _I… I know it's still… it's still fresh, finding out the truth and trying to work with it and rebuild our life around this idea but… Hajime, this baby is… he's been abandoned in a dumpster – like I was! He… if he doesn't get a good home, he'll spend his life miserable. I don't want this for him! We could… adopt him! He'd be happy with us, we'd love him like our own child!" She said, voice trembling in excitement and impatience._

"… _Kiku. You're not projecting your past onto this child? You're not trying to bet everything on him? When you became a lawyer we talked about it – you can't let your past and feelings get in the way of your work, we can't adopt every child who needs a good home. And… this story sounds a little too close to your story for me to be comfortable about it."_

 _Kiku's lips fell open in shock and she looked guiltily, as if realizing just now that_ _ **because**_ _this baby's story was close to hers, she felt the need to adopt him more than any other child. Unable to say or do anything, she looked down at her laps, trembling a little._

 _Hajime hesitated, sighing, before approaching her. He sat next to her on the couch, and took her hands in his._

" _Kiku. I_ _ **want**_ _to adopt. I_ _ **want**_ _a child with you even if he doesn't come from us directly. And I_ _ **know**_ _we'll love him, whether it's this baby or another child but… are you_ _ **certain**_ _you will be capable of handling it? Adopting so soon after we've discovered our condition; are you not trying to fill in the hole as soon as possible without thinking of the consequences? What if you realize you can't take care of a baby without having carried it in your womb, after all? What if in a few years when he'll ask questions about his origins, you can't answer to him because you've had to go through the same?"_

 _He squeezed her hands, making her look up:_

" _I want to make sure you're okay and ready for this, before adopting anyone. Not just for you and I, but also for this child's sake."_

" _I… you're right. You're right but… I want to adopt and be a_ _ **mother**_ _… I don't want to wait_ _ **years**_ _, hoping that maybe, with luck, we'll have our own child. I don't want to wait years to get over it because I_ _ **never**_ _will… and_ _ **this baby**_ _needs help, he needs love from a family_ _ **right now**_ _– a love_ _ **we**_ _are dying to give! So_ _ **please**_ _, Hajime… trust me on this… I'm ready. I'm okay. I need you to be as well, so we can move forward and have our family…" She whispered with a shaking, but strong voice, tears in her voice._

 _Hajime stared at her, seeing an unwavering strength in her eyes, slowly smothering the guilt and sadness…_

" _Then… let's do this…" He said with an amazed smile._

 _She smiled brightly, happy tears rolling down her cheeks as he kissed her forehead and hope was back in their hearts._

 _They filled in the adoption papers almost immediately, but it would take many, many months before they could possibly have the authorization to adopt this baby. Because he was a new-born in desperate need, and because Kiku worked in the field, it'd be easier and faster. But because she was fragile, it took more time than she had hoped for._

 _Their friends' pregnancy went by. Bokuto and Ayaka's third baby, Hideyoshi, being born and hopefully they'll wait a little before making another owlet. Then, soon after it was Akaashi Nadeshiko who was born. And finally, Oikawa Hoshiko, the beautiful daughter of Tooru and Shiori – he never stopped bragging about how perfect his daughter was, like her mother. Kiku spent a lot of time with the Oikawa after the birth, as the godmother of Hoshiko, but also because she craved more and more being a mother._

 _During this time, Hajime and Kiku finished making the baby's bedroom and prepared everything for his arrival, not ceasing to hope that they_ _ **will**_ _adopt this baby in particular with the same spiky hair as Hajime._

 _Just two months or so after Hoshiko's birth, a few weeks after finishing the last details of the baby's bedroom, they finally received the letter announcing they could adopt the baby. They didn't waste any time, in just a few days, the last preparative were done._

" _What if I'm not a good mother?" Kiku suddenly asked as they were waiting to see their child for the first time._

 _Hajime chuckled, grabbing her hands, but he was just as nervous._

" _You are going to be a_ _ **wonderful**_ _mother, don't ever doubt that, cupcake. And he is the_ _ **luckiest**_ _boy to have a mother like you…"_

 _She smiled, a little reassured._

" _And you are going to be a wonderful father," she answered._

 _He smiled back, excitement and happiness starting to get to them. They would have it, their family._

 _Then, suddenly, the door opened and the caretaker arrived with a little baby boy. Kiku turned around and within seconds, without quite realizing it, she had held out her arms and was holding her baby boy. Hajime stood beside her, a hand on her shoulder and the other near the baby's head. He was way over six months now and Kiku had never felt so much peace as when she held the bundle of warmth against her chest. He was quiet, almost sleeping if it weren't for the little moves of his legs and arms. He opened his eyes, dark, and looked up at Kiku and Hajime who smiled at him._

" _M-my baby…" She whispered, voice strangled with emotion while quiet, happy tears rolled down her cheeks._

 _He remained quiet, staring at them. Then he babbled and made adorable little noises, shaking his hands happily, as if realizing he was being held by his mother._

 _Hajime chuckled, his own eyes full of tears as he gently caressed the baby's head._

" _Hey, you… my boy…" He whispered._

" _What this little boy's name?" The caretaker asked curiously._

 _Kiku and Hajime finally detached their awed gazes from the baby, looking at each other then back at their baby._

" _Atsushi. Iwaizumi Atsushi." Kiku answered softly._

 _Atsushi made a giggly, gurgling noise, probably his way of saying he liked his name._

 _Iwaizumi Atsushi was introduced to everyone, their friends and their families, everyone giving the same remark "he has your hair". At the very beginning, it wasn't difficult, but it was a big change, even if they had been ready for it, suddenly they had another person in their families and they hadn't had nine months to get ready for it and slowly realize it was becoming reality. Kiku, especially, was as ecstatic as she was nervous. She didn't stop spending as much as possible with Atsushi, feeling like he had been all alone from the moment he was found until he became their child. Hajime was helping her, obviously but he also knew she needed to spend time with the son she had wanted so badly. It was just for the first few days, anyway. Then it turned into a week, and two and he barely had time with Atsushi without Kiku fussing over it._

" _Go take your bath, it's getting late," he told her someday._

" _No, he hasn't burped yet, and he needs to go to sleep. You go take your bath."_

" _I already did, Kiku. Let me take care of him." He said, holding out his hands to hold Atsushi._

" _No!" She exclaimed, pulling away and keeping him close._

 _Hajime stared at her hard and she realized what she had done, suddenly looking guilty._

" _I-I'm sorry but… I always do it…"_

" _Because you don't let me try, come on, relax a little and let me take care of him for once…" He insisted, holding out his hands once again._

 _She hesitated, then handed him Atsushi. He started rubbing his back, Kiku watching from the doorway. He gave her an impatient stare:_

" _Go take your bath_ _ **now**_ _."_

 _She ticked her tongue but obeyed, leaving the baby bedroom for a few minutes. It didn't take long for Atsushi to burp and get sleepy, Hajime slowly preparing him for bed but before he could do the entire work and put him to bed for the first time, Kiku reappeared, still damp from her bath._

" _Did he burp? Is he okay? Let me do it," she said, already taking Atsushi back in her arms._

" _Kiku…" He sighed._

 _But she was cooing over Atsushi and he just sighed and left the bedroom._

 _After that, he tried a few more times to take care of Atsushi, to feed him, put him to sleep, even go on a walk,_ _ **anything**_ _that would allow him to spend some time with Atsushi. But Kiku never let him. She'd let him try, then decide he wasn't doing it right, and take Atsushi from him. It became so frustrating for Hajime that he stopped trying. But he was still annoyed by the situation, especially when he saw that Kiku was starting to get tired to handle her job and Atsushi all the time._

" _Where is Atchan?" Oikawa asked some day, showing up with Hoshiko for the two fathers to go for a walk with their babies._

" _Stop calling him that, it sounds like you're sneezing. And Kiku took him in town before I was back from my morning run… I haven't even seen him since yesterday." He mumbled, letting Oikawa enter the house._

 _Instead of going for a walk, Oikawa sat down on the couch, Hoshiko on his knees and playing with her favourite toy, playing at throwing it around, preferably on uncle Hajime who kept retrieving it for her._

" _Why don't you force Kiku to let you spend time with Atchan? He's your son too." Oikawa said with a shrug._

" _I can't! She barely lets him out of her sight, even when she goes to work, she takes him with her. She doesn't let anyone else take care of him!" He exclaimed, receiving yet again Hoshiko's toy on him, which he got back into her hands._

" _She can't do that, just–"_

 _After the fifth time Hoshiko hit uncle Hajime with the toy, he realized she was doing it on purpose and got annoyed – he felt short-tempered all the time recently. He got the toy back but put it down on the table, making Hoshiko whine and start crying._

" _Wow! Calm down!" Oikawa exclaimed, nursing his daughter and getting the toy back._

" _She's doing on purpose, teach her manners!"_

 _Her cries only increased as she hid in her father's chest, Oikawa almost glaring at Iwaizumi for his tone of voice for_ _ **his daughter**_ _._

" _No wonder Kiku doesn't let you approach your son if you're like that!" He couldn't help but remark._

" _I wouldn't be like that if she let me approach him!" He hissed, suddenly standing up and walking angrily._

 _Hoshiko calmed down and Oikawa watched him pace back and forth, finally letting out all his frustration:_

" _I don't get it! I_ _ **get**_ _that she wants to spend as much time as possible with him, and she's overjoyed to! But_ _ **I**_ _want to spend time with my son as well! I need it just as much but I barely spent more than ten minutes alone with him since he's been here! It's been almost a_ _ **month**_ _, Oikawa! I never see or hold my son! I don't even know if I can call him my son anymore!"_

 _He continued pacing back and forth, Hoshiko looking up at her father and pulling at his shirt, as if asking if uncle Hajime was okay._

" _I don't understand what is so wrong with me that my wife wouldn't trust me with our son! It can't be that hard! Shiori trusts YOU with your daughter and I'm definitely more reliable so WHY?!"_

" _I will ignore the underlying insult but maybe… I don't know, she just needs to be reminded that this is your family, to both of you? That you're married, and you have as much right towards Atchan as she does."_

 _Hajime suddenly let himself drop on the couch, Oikawa putting a comforting hand on his shoulder while trying to hold back Hoshiko from crawling away from his laps, and fall on the ground._

" _What if she realized she doesn't want of a family with me anymore? That she only wants it for herself? What if she doesn't trust me after all? What if I can't actually be a father?" He murmured, gaze lost._

" _Iwa-chan, there is no one more qualified than you to be a father. You've been around children your whole life, you've always taken care of others, it's in your nature."_

" _I've had a lot of practice with you."_

" _Can you stop throwing hidden insults while I'm trying to comfort you?!" He hissed._

 _Iwaizumi smiled lightly, comforted by his words, his presence and their usual banter._

" _Thanks for being here for us through all this…" He said, realizing that even if he always turned towards Oikawa, he didn't thank him enough._

" _You're welcome, it's my job as best friend and partner to be here for you, right? AH!"_

 _His face was twisted in pain, Hoshiko giggling at his reaction, having accidently kicked her father's crotch in her crawling around. Oikawa held her up, suffering in silence._

" _Take her a moment…" He mumbled._

 _Hajime grabbed a still giggling Hoshiko while Oikawa rolled over and whined about probably never giving Hoshiko a little brother or little sister. She didn't seem to mind._

" _You are going to be in so much trouble when she'll be a teenager…" Hajime said in amusement._

" _Don't say that!"_

 _As he straightened up, Oikawa looked thoughtful, then his eyes it up and it worried Hajime:_

" _I just had an idea about your little problem. You just need to prove to Kiku-chan that she can trust you, right?" He asked._

" _U-uh. What's your idea?"_

 _Oikawa's idea wasn't as crazy as he had feared and a few days later, it was getting executed: Shiori forced Kiku to have a ladies' day of shopping and relaxing while their husbands took care of the babies. Oikawa had to bring Hoshiko to the doctor for the check-up so Hajime would be alone with Atsushi. At first, Kiku wasn't very enthusiastic, and she repeated about three times in a row everything Hajime should know about Atsushi, before she was dragged away by Shiori. The moment the door closed, Atsushi looked up at Hajime, sucking calmly on his pacifier as he watched his father curiously._

" _Looks like it's you and I, buddy. Finally." Hajime said._

 _He had a day off, which meant plenty of time spent with Atsushi and, following Kiku's instructions, he let him on his playground, playing with his favourite toys. He was a quiet baby, he barely cried. He only cried when he was hungry, or uncomfortable or in the middle of the night as he's been teething recently. But as soon as he'd notice that the meal was being prepared, or that his mother was around, he'd calm down. Hajime often took care of him at night, when Kiku was sleeping, but she'd always wake up and switch with him at some point. How she knew, he had no idea considering the crying didn't wake her right away._

 _Hajime had to admit he had been a little scared about being all alone with Atsushi for the first time but he was an angel. The morning went well, the lunch was uneventful either, and he did his nap – of course, Kiku kept sending him messages, waiting for updates. In the afternoon, after his nap, Hajime took him to the nearby park, Atsushi watching curiously the birds and flowers and trying to catch a butterfly that flew too close to him. It was when they went home that trouble started. Atsushi started being troubled, then crying. Hajime did everything he thought could cause it: feeding, but he wasn't hungry, changing his diapers but even clean, he wouldn't calm down, giving him his favourite plushies, but he wouldn't want of it. He tried to make sure he didn't need burping, of more or less clothes if he felt uncomfortable, or maybe it was his teething but the thing Kiku used didn't work. He tried cuddling, to talk to him, even to sing like Kiku usually did. But it didn't help Atsushi and from crying so much, he was starting to get a little feverish which worried Hajime._

 _Not only Kiku would kill him, but she would never trust him with Atsushi again and more importantly, he didn't understand why he was crying so much when he had been a quiet baby all this time. Why the_ _ **one time**_ _he took care of him, he'd cry endlessly? He tried calling his friends who were fathers, but none answered or had a solution he hadn't already tried. Only Kuroo said that maybe it was because he was missing his mommy after so long – when Akane had gone back to work, it had been very difficult for the twins to adjust to not see their mommy. But there was no solution to that except finding something that would work between Atsushi and his dad._

" _Come on, Atsushi! What do I have to do to make you stop crying?!" He exclaimed, grabbing his hair and watching his son cry with no way to help him._

 _He was starting to be desperate and considered calling Kiku for help._

" _I tried everything! What is it I'm doing wrong?!" He continued._

 _He looked hopefully at his son lying on his bed of change, but he only cried and didn't give any answer._

" _Please… I'm trying so hard…" He murmured._

 _He leaned over Atsushi, trying to shoo him calmly and soothe him._

" _Look buddy, I know you miss your mommy, but I'm here…"_

 _He grabbed his hands, and Atsushi calmed a little, more whining than crying now. The baby sniffed and opened his teary eyes, looking into Hajime's green ones. Teary-eyed himself, Hajime brought his little hands to his lips, kissing them tenderly._

" _I don't know if I'm a good father, but I'm trying my best… I know we didn't spend much time together, but… you can count on me anytime, okay…? You're… you're the most precious being in the whole universe and I don't want to see you cry… You're my son and I… I love you, you know…" He whispered._

 _Atsushi stared at him, still hiccupping a little, but he calmed down. Hajime wasn't sure what he had done or said, maybe it was just opening to him. Maybe all Atsushi needed was comfort that he was as loved by his daddy as his mommy. Relaxing, and feeling more at peace with himself, and closer to Atsushi, he kissed his tiny hands again. He cleaned him up then took him with him downstairs, absolutely exhausted after trying so hard to calm him down. But now Atsushi held onto him with as much of his baby strength as he held onto Kiku…_

 _A few hours later…_

" _He hasn't answered the phone for hours, now! I should have gone home right away!" Kiku exclaimed as she arrived home, Shiori close behind._

" _Kiku, calm down… Maybe he just left his phone somewhere and is playing with Atsushi?"_

 _Kiku hurried into the house, completely panicked but went to a stop when she arrived in the living-room. Shiori arrived behind her and smiled at the scene._

" _See? Everything is fine…" She said, patting her friend's shoulder._

 _Hajime was asleep, Atsushi just as exhausted, laying on his father's chest and being held firmly even in his dad's sleep._

"… _W-what have they done to be so exhausted…?" Kiku murmured, tears coming into her eyes._

 _Calmly, she approached the two men of her life, sitting down next to them, caressing tenderly Atsushi's spiky hair. Then brushing Hajime's cheek, which woke him up. He blinked his eyes then startled, seeing Kiku, and it had the effect of waking Atsushi up. He yawned and cried a little, but Kiku didn't immediately try to take him from Hajime's arms._

" _I'm sorry I didn't trust you earlier with Atsushi. I was being very selfish, wasn't I?" She realized as Hajime sat up._

 _He hesitated, not really knowing what to answer or what was the priority when Atsushi was crying. He made him bounce a little, calming Atsushi down as he leaned over his dad's shoulder and didn't stop staring at his mommy._

" _Well… now that I spent a day with him, I understand why you couldn't let go of him…" He admitted, not imagining letting go of this bundle of joy from his arms._

 _She chuckled and Atsushi moved to be held by her. Hajime smiled as he gave him to Kiku and after that, there was no more trouble between them. Their family was complete and happy, even without a baby of their own._

 _The following months were some of the happiest of their lives. Slowly but surely, Atsushi learned to talk, his first word being "Zilla" – Kiku accused Hajime of talking too much about Godzilla and she was certain that he had made him watch the movies the days she wasn't home. Then it was "mama" and "papa" and "Toowu" which made Oikawa incredibly proud. When he wasn't bragging on how Hoshiko's first word had been "papa", he was bragging about Atsushi. Then, it was Hajime's turn to brag about his son when he learned to walk_ _ **before**_ _Hoshiko. Rather than learning how to_ _ **walk**_ _, one day, while Hajime was filling the assurance papers and Kiku was taking her bath, Atsushi suddenly stood up and started running. It took a moment for Hajime to register what was going on and he started screaming incoherently, which made Kiku panic and run downstairs but by the time she arrived and Hajime had stood up, Atsushi had run into a wall and fallen onto his behind, crying in pain. They were as proud as surprised as happy and Kiku was incredibly pissed she had missed his first steps. They had thought it had been a one-time miracle but as soon as his red forehead had been kissed by mommy, Atsushi was up and running once again. The real trouble had been to teach him how to slow down and avoid furniture, or just walking calmly._

 _Nothing could be more perfect._

 _Atsushi was three years-old and a half when Kiku started being sick. At first, she put it on tiredness, too much work, not resting enough. She assumed it was any normal sickness that came and went away. And as expected, it_ _ **did**_ _go away after some rest. Or so Hajime thought._

 _They were at a park someday, watching over Atsushi who was playing on the toboggan and with his toys. There was no one else in the park because it was too cold for parents to bring their children, but Atsushi had insisted and he was well-covered._

" _We're happy, aren't we?" Kiku said, slipping her hand in Hajime's._

 _He was surprised by her sudden remark but smiled happily._

" _We are. I've married the love of my life and we have a wonderful son. I couldn't be happier. You are happy, too, right?" He asked worriedly._

" _Of course I am," she answered with a chuckle, leaning her head against his shoulder, "…But… you really don't mind that Atsushi… wasn't born from us…? Is it really okay?" She asked._

 _Hajime tightened his hand around Kiku, his smile wavering a little._

" _I know why you're asking me this. And I'm okay. I'm glad that Oikawa and Shiori are having another child. It's not a surprise, they always said they wanted two children. And we're used to it by now, seeing our friends having more and more children. Since we've adopted Atsushi, Akaashi got his son, Kuroo got another kitten who is as terrible as his parents and siblings, and Ayaka is pregnant again."_

 _He paused before kissing Kiku's forehead tenderly._

" _I'm okay as long as our family is happy. I don't need for us to have a child being born from us to be happy, or to be a family. Atsushi is the proof of it, isn't it?"_

 _Kiku smiled, reassured. She closed her eyes a moment before straightening up and turning towards Hajime. Her eyes were glossy and he wasn't sure why she seemed so emotional and serious:_

" _Hajime… I… I have something to tell you…" She started._

"… _Okay. What is it?" He said, squeezing her hand for reassurance._

 _She looked up, her lips starting to tilt up until her expression fell. Her gaze turned towards the playground and she paled._

" _Where is Atsushi?" She asked._

 _Hajime immediately stood up, followed by Kiku as they looked over the entire playground, but except his toys, Atsushi wasn't around._

" _Atsushi!" She called._

" _He was here just now! Atsushi!"_

 _They walked around frenetically but thankfully, Kiku found him quickly, immediately sighing in relief. He was just hidden from view behind a bush._

" _Atsushi!" She called, starting to run towards him._

 _She froze when she realized that Atsushi was receiving something from a man sitting on a bench. And she recognized that man._

" _Atsushi!" She shouted, running._

 _Atsushi turned around sheepishly and dropped whatever the man had given him when Kiku suddenly grabbed him and lifted him up, keeping him close to her heart. Having heard her screams, Hajime had come running and immediately darkened, standing protectively in front of his family._

" _What are you doing here?" He asked_ _Hashimoto Noburu_ _in a hard voice._

 _Kiku's biological father sighed, leaning down to take the gift he had offered Atsushi, then he stood up. His hair was paler than before, but he was fine. A few years ago, Hashimoto recontacted Kiku through her parents' bakery. He was just telling her he had been operated and was fine. He and Kiku had met a few times over the years, always with Hajime, never really going well. She was only kind to Hashimoto's wife and children, who were all innocent, but she would never completely forget what her biological father had done to her._

" _You never let me meet him." Hashimoto said, pointing at Atsushi who was watching him more warily now, feeling the tension between him and his parents._

" _There's a reason why. You're not_ _ **welcome**_ _here." Hajime said._

 _Hashimoto didn't answer, glancing at Atsushi with whom he had talked a little for the few minutes they had had together._

" _He looks like you, he's definitely your son." He remarked, glancing between Hajime and Atsushi._

 _Hajime looked away, clicking his tongue. He usually loved that people told him that, despite not being related by blood. Except their families and close friends or colleagues, no one knew or could guess Atsushi was adopted. But right now, knowing that the root of all Kiku's troubles in her life, which led to her infertility, was_ _ **right here**_ _and telling him_ _ **that**_ _… It filled him with rage. He wanted to grab the man's face and tell him that he wasn't his biological son because of_ _ **his**_ _actions._

" _He's not." Kiku said before Hajime could breathe._

 _Hashimoto looked confused, and Atsushi glanced between his parents, even Hajime was shocked by her words. It was obvious Kiku was too thrown off to realize what she was saying._

" _Thanks to everything that happened to me after_ _ **your**_ _mistakes, I'm… he's adopted." She said bitterly, eyes filled with tears._

 _Hashimoto's lips fell open and he hesitated. Kiku suddenly turned around, mostly to hide her tears, not having the strength to walk away. Hajime hesitated and took a step towards her so they could go home, especially now that Atsushi was hugging her, hiding his face in her neck, probably out of fear because he didn't understand what was going on. But before he could leave, Hashimoto grabbed his arm, stopping Hajime. He handed him the gift for Atsushi._

" _It's… it's a gift for him… my grandson… I know why you don't want me in his life, but… let me offer this."_

 _He smiled to Atsushi just as Hajime hesitantly took the gift._

 _Their way home was quiet, Kiku slowly relaxing the more she was away from Hashimoto. Or rather, the more her son was away from him. Once home, Hajime gave the gift to Atsushi who hesitantly opened it and found a little animal toy. Hajime and Kiku were smiling to him but Atsushi looked serious – he was much more mature and brighter than children so young, already understanding things they hadn't expected him to._

" _This man said he was my grandpa…" He started._

" _He… he is. He's another grandpa, but he can't be around you too much…" Kiku explained, trying not to lie because he'd figure it out right away._

" _What is adotted?" He asked then._

 _Kiku and Hajime froze. They had expected him to ask them something like that someday, unless they would have had the time to tell him the truth themselves. How could they explain to their not-yet four years old son that he had been adopted?_

" _Adopted is… it's when…" Kiku said._

" _I heard grandma and grandma say mommy is adotted too…" Atsushi continued, staring straight at his mother._

 _Kiku opened and closed her lips, not knowing what to do. Atsushi was too intelligent and he was so quiet, he listened to everything even when they didn't think he was around. She was just like that so she should have expected that much._

" _Atsushi," Hajime started with a little smile, "Sometimes a mommy and daddy aren't good with their baby. So this baby is given to other people who will become his parents. Your mommy was adopted by grandpa Shouta and grandma Nanami, and you were adopted by mommy and daddy."_

 _Atsushi seemed to hesitate, not quite understanding but having an answer, not quite knowing what to do with it. He looked down at the animal toy in his hands, then back at his parents._

" _You're my mommy and daddy?" He asked for confirmation._

" _Of course we are, buddy," Hajime answered._

 _He noticed Kiku wiping away a tear, but Atsushi ran into their arms and it was all they needed to be reassured for now._

 _That night, Kiku remained a little longer watching over Atsushi sleeping then exited the bedroom, leaving the door a little opened because he got scared in the night even with the night lights (thanks to Hajime and Oikawa making Atsushi and Hoshiko watch Godzilla and Aliens, which traumatized_ _ **only**_ _Atsushi)._

 _She sighed deeply, just as Hajime arrived and took her in his arms._

" _He's okay." He said, knowing their son was stronger and still too young to understand everything it meant, "He knows we're his parents and we love him." He repeated – it was all that mattered now. For their son to know he was wanted and loved._

" _I know…" She whispered against his chest._

" _Are_ _ **you**_ _okay, though?" He asked as they slowly walked to their bedroom._

" _A little shaken, but okay…" She answered with a reassuring smile._

 _She cupped his cheeks and kissed his lips._

" _You wanted to tell me something earlier at the park, what was it?" He asked curiously._

 _She seemed hesitant, as if she had forgotten about it herself. Then she smiled, looking down and biting on her lower lip. Then she looked up and her eyes were the brightest he had ever seen, it took his breath away._

" _I-it's a little awkward to say now, after everything that happened but… Hajime, I… you remember when I was sick some time ago?"_

 _He frowned, getting more and more worried._

" _Yeah… you went to the doctor the other day, right? What is it?"_

 _She didn't seem to know how to say it, so she took his hand and put it over her stomach, very gently. Then her fingers entwined with his and her smile got a little bigger. His heart accelerated, not wanting to believe it, to_ _ **hope**_ _…_

" _I'm pregnant…" She said with an enchanted smile._

 _It took a moment for Hajime to process it, then he chuckled but got confused:_

" _Wait – I thought… that it wasn't possible?"_

" _I thought so too… I didn't believe it at first but I took a pregnancy test when the symptoms kept coming back. It was positive. I took another one, positive again… I… I didn't want to give you a false joy so I went to see the doctor to be certain and… I_ _ **am**_ _pregnant."_

" _It's… Kiku… it's… it's a miracle!" He exclaimed._

 _He lifted her up happily, turning around as ecstatic laughs escaped their lips. He put her down and immediately kissed her joyfully. She laughed into his kiss, holding onto him._

" _I_ _ **know!**_ _I… I had stopped praying and hoping it'd someday happen! But the doctor told me that my fertility had only been extremely reduced and the small chance of pregnancy… it became… it…! I_ _ **am**_ _pregnant! We're going to have another baby, Hajime!" She exclaimed._

 _They laughed and kissed again, thanking the gods for blessing them with a little miracle of their own. After so many years trying, after losing hope they'd someday have their own child… it was happening._

 _Because they hadn't gone through any pregnancy before, it was a little difficult at first to figure out how to organize anew their lives, but Oikawa was about as excited to be an uncle again as to be a father for a second time and he helped out. Bokuto, who would be soon father of a fourth child, didn't hold back on advices either. The girls were all here to help out Kiku who was, not only going through her first pregnancy, but with a young child as well, and it was a pretty difficult pregnancy._

 _The first few months, it seemed normal but when her energy didn't have any boost and she kept weakening, Hajime and Kiku got worried. She had a weak health to begin with and with the unexpected pregnancy, her health and the baby's, were in danger. It went to a point where the doctor had to give an option to Kiku: keep the child and take risks for both her baby and herself, or not have this baby anymore._

 _On their way home, they were dark and quiet, not wanting to think of the possibility, but unable to let it out of their minds. Kiku's hand didn't leave her rounded tummy, softly caressing it. Hajime remained silent. It was only when they arrived home, unusually quiet with Atsushi being taken care of by Tooru and Shiori for today, that Kiku spoke up:_

" _I want to keep the baby, Hajime."_

 _He turned around, eyes wide, his heart missing a beat:_

" _W-wait, we should… we should think about it a little more, talk about it…"_

" _There's no choice to make, I'm not giving up on this baby after trying for so long." She said with a shake of her head._

 _ **No, no, no, no**_ _… He thought, panic filling his veins._

" _B-but the doctor said… y-you could… you could…"_

 _His voice broke, unable to say outloud what the doctor had uttered earlier. He refused to believe it, to consider the option._

 _Kiku smiled, a little sadly but she approached him, cupping his cheek gently._

" _He said it was only a possibility. Like when we thought I was infertile – just a possibility. But a miracle happened and gave us this baby, conceived from_ _ **our love**_ _, I refuse to throw this chance away. If a miracle happened already, I believe it'll happen again. I'm going to be fine, so will our little girl."_

 _Hajime lowered his head, tears filling his eyes. She lifted up his face, her thumb brushing away the single tear that rolled down his cheek:_

" _All I want is for this baby to be born and live happily. For our family to be happy. I believe in our future happiness and it will be so, if we_ _ **both**_ _believe in it. And if… if I don't make it, you'll have to be here for our babies…"_

" _Don't say that… please…" He pleaded, holding onto her with shaking hands._

" _I won't say it then, because it won't happen. I believe in us, and our happiness and our family." She said, taking his hands in hers._

 _He held her hands tight, closing his eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers. They took a moment to take in the warmth, peace and love they felt. And they held onto each other and onto life, whether it was their own hearts beating to the same rhythm, or the life their love had created._

 _The door opened and excited, running steps ran to them:_

" _Mommy! Daddy!" Atsushi exclaimed, jumping into their arms._

" _Hey, buddy, I thought you were with uncle Tooru and auntie Shiori?" Hajime asked, trying to keep his voice from trembling._

 _Oikawa and Shiori arrived then, Hoshiko also here._

" _We saw the car and assumed you were home, we couldn't keep him from running to you," Oikawa explained with a smile that wavered when he noticed the expressions of his friends._

" _Look, look! I made a drawing for my sister!" Atsushi exclaimed happily, showing it to his parents._

 _It showed all of them, all four of them._

" _It's beautiful," Hajime said, kissing his forehead._

" _Let's go pin it on the fridge, Atsushi," Kiku said._

 _She took his hand as Hajime put him back on the ground, Shiori and Hoshiko following to leave the two fathers alone. Oikawa approached, looking worried:_

" _What did the doctor say?"_

 _It was difficult but Hajime quickly explained to him what he had been told._

"… _I can't believe it… it's… it's so unfair…" Oikawa murmured, eyes glossy._

" _Life has only been unfair to Kiku." Hajime muttered._

" _Until she met you."_

" _Uh?"_

 _Hajime looked up, blinking as Oikawa continued, smiling:_

" _Life has been unfair to Kiku, until she met you and fell in love with you. You gave her friendship, support and love. You gave her a family. I don't think she's ungrateful in how her life turned out to be…"_

" _But…"_

" _I never really told you that, but… you two, seeing you being in love, completing each other, it made me incredibly jealous back in high-school because I wanted this fulfilling love. You two inspired me to wait to find the right person instead of accumulating meaningless relationships, and seeing you two fighting for your love when you were miles apart gave me the strength to fight for Shiori. If it weren't for you and Kiku-chan, I wouldn't be so happy today. I owe my happiness to you." He said, thankfully._

"… _And I owe mine to you… you're the one who played match-maker… but_ _ **now**_ _… I can't imagine my life without her… if_ _ **she**_ _…"_

 _His voice broke and he looked down, quickly covering his eyes to hold back the tears._

" _We owe each other's happiness, then!" He exclaimed cheerfully before putting his hand on Hajime's shoulder, "And if there's one thing I've witnessed over the years, happening to you and Kiku-chan… it's that you turn unfairness into chances. She should have died several times before she even met you, but you gave her a reason to live. You were in two different prefectures but your love and commitment only grew stronger. You couldn't have children and yet, you have a happy family and now, you're going to have a baby. You two,_ _ **together**_ _, simply by not giving up on each other, turned disasters into miracles. It's how strong your love is!"_

 _He squeezed his friend's shoulder, forcing Hajime to look up, his eyes shining a little brighter._

" _So don't underestimate Kiku's will to live and to keep bringing happiness into both of your lives. She won't give up and you'll have a beautiful baby girl…"_

 _Hajime smiled, before nodding, reassured by his friend's words._

" _Thanks, Oikawa…"_

" _And hopefully she'll become my future daughter-in-law! Considering I'm having a son~!"_

 _Hajime's smile immediately disappeared and he glared at his best friend._

" _ **Don't**_ _play match-maker to our children, Oikawa."_

 _But Oikawa only laughed and despite his will, Hajime was smiling again._

 _Knowing that Kiku would spend a good amount of time of her pregnancy at home, and possibly at the hospital if she didn't feel any better, changed some plans in their preparations for the arrival of their baby girl. It didn't change the happiness. The only problem was that Atsushi, as perceptive as he was, understood that something was wrong and he got extremely worried about his mommy and little sister. It didn't help Kiku who was worrying for him and Hajime struggled maintaining a peaceful atmosphere when himself was freaking out more and more everyday._

That was why it was decided that for the summer, Kiku would spend her last few weeks of pregnancy with only Hajime and Nanami to watch over her. Atsushi was worrying her too much and she needed to focus on her health and on her baby girl. Every summer since a few years ago, everyone would gather in the summer mansion of the Bokuto family. A huge house with enough rooms to fit everyone and all the children, a huge park and it was near a lake. It was perfect for the children in summer and everyone always went there.

Hajime glanced at the window and noticed that Atsushi hadn't moved or reacted much since they've left home. He was still staring at the landscape.

"We're almost there, minizilla," he announced.

Atsushi barely reacted, just quickly glancing at him, then at his plushy and back at the landscape.

Hajime kept his lips thin, hating the idea of leaving his worrying son behind, but it was for Kiku and the baby's sake.

Hajime slowed down as he went onto a side road to go to the mansion, a little away from any town. He arrived at the metal gate, with two pillars on each side of the road, statues of owls on top of it – it had been an addition of Bokuto when they had received this mansion as wedding gift from Ayaka's father.

A few minutes later, he was driving up to the rest of the cars lined up in front of the house. He could hear the other children having fun in the swimming pool and some parents screaming at other children. Hajime helped Atsushi hop down the car and grabbed all the bags he had brought and just as they advanced towards the house, the door opened, revealing Oikawa, Shiori and her rounded belly and Hoshiko holding onto her mother's leg.

"Iwa-chan! Atchan! How was the trip?"

"Good, no traffic," Iwaizumi answered before looking down at Atsushi, giving him an encouraging push forward, "Go have fun with Hoshiko and the others, Atsushi. I need to talk with uncle Tooru."

Atsushi looked up at him, not wanting to leave, but Hoshiko took his hand and dragged him into the house, and certainly into the garden. The moment he left, Hajime let his shoulders drop, the tension coming back onto his face.

"You look like you've aged of twenty years," Oikawa remarked with a teasing smile.

"Ugh…"

"I'll go watch over Hoshiko and Atsushi," Shiori said, going back into the house.

"Be careful!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"I'm _fine_ , Tooru! I won't walk into a wall!" She exclaimed from afar.

Hajime gave the bags to Tooru, giving a detailed description of everything he had brought and why, even though Oikawa knew Atsushi well enough to not need it.

"Tell me how he is doing everyday. I'll call in the morning to talk to him and in the afternoon, it'll be the videocall with Kiku. Don't miss any of it, okay?" Hajime warned.

"It'll be _fine_ , Iwa-chan! Atchan is going to have fun, you're going to have it easy without having to watch over him, you and Kiku can focus on the baby and a good delivery. You can trust me, all of us." Oikawa said as they arrived into the garden where everyone was gathered.

Some children were learning how to swim in the swimming pool, watched over by Akane and Hanako; Kiyoshi, Akane and Kuroo's latest boy, was discovering swimming apparently. Ayaka, Shiori and Addie, her son Kaede on her laps, were sitting in the shadows of some trees, Nadeshiko, Atsushi and Hoshiko probably asking for cookies.

"Watch out, Kuroo!" Bokuto shouted from the other side of the garden.

The laughs of four little devils, the Bokuto twins and the Kuroo twins, all five years-old now, echoed as they ran around, apparently driving their fathers mad.

Kuroo tried to grab two of the children who were running by but landed on his face while Bokuto ran after two others.

"…Do I want to know what happened?" Hajime asked.

"Mmm… I think that all four tried to climb over the kitchen's counter to open the fridge and stole ice-cream but, they didn't close the door well so everyone's ice-cream has melted. Ushiwaka has gone to buy some more. Bottan and Kurocchi decided to punish the two pairs of twins by cleaning the kitchen covered in melted ice-cream and various other stuff that melted but, they accidently made half of the kitchen drop – you know how clumsy Isao and Isamu are, they inherited it from their mother after all – but they ran away instead of warning anyone and now, Bottan and Kurocchi are trying to catch them but it turned into a game for the twins."

"…I'm not sure I should leave my son into your hands, after all."

" _Hey!"_

"Kuroo! I've got one!" Bokuto suddenly shouted, lifting up one of his twins, "Isao! What is it that's sticking all over you?!"

"It's Isamu, dad!"

Confused, Bokuto turned him around but Isao, because it was him, laughed just as Isamu threw a volleyball in his father's back to free his brother.

"Hey! Come back here, Isamu!" He shouted, keeping Isao under one arm while chasing the other.

Kuroo jumped to stop Isamu who didn't have time to turn around. He was grabbed by Kuroo but Kazuki and Hotaru, _his_ twins, attacked him. He fell on the ground with a scream, Bokuto arriving and grabbing Kazuki while Kuroo kept Isamu and Hotaru stuck.

"Did you swim in the ice-cream?! You're all off for a bath _now!"_ Kuroo exclaimed.

"But, daaaad!" Kazuki whined.

"Don't even think about discussing it or I'm sending you to your mom!"

Kazuki and Hotaru turned silent, while the Bokuto twins laughed.

"And you two, don't think you're getting out of this one so easily! No ice-cream for _any_ of you for the rest of the week!"

"Naaaaan!"

"Please!"

"We'll be good!"

"Uncle Kou!"

"Stop whining, you had it coming!" Kuroo exclaimed, "Hotaru stop putting melted ice-cream into my hair!"

"It's shitty enough as it is, ah ah!" Bokuto added.

Kuroo glared at him but Hotaru _did_ stop when Ayaka, getting tired of all this yelling, scolded them from afar (and _all_ of them, the fathers included).

Once the entire mess had been cleaned up (by an _adult_ , bless Akaashi's presence in this house), the children cleaned up too, and Kuroo's hair cleaned up too, everything went back to peace. As much peace as it could get at least, with eleven children gathered in one place, more than half of them hyperactive thanks to the Bokuto, Kuroo and Oikawa genes.

"You're a good boy and you listen to uncle Tooru, auntie Shiori and everyone _except_ the twins, okay?" Hajime told Atsushi a few minutes before leaving, "Don't let them trick you like at Hideyoshi's birthday party."

Atsushi shook vividly his head before looking up at the adults he could listen to.

"I'll call you tonight with mom. I'll see you soon, minizilla, okay?" Hajime said, ruffling his hair.

Atsushi whined before hugging him. Hajime smiled then patted his back. Atsushi went to hold onto Tooru's hand as his father left. Hajime's heart broke when, from the car, he saw Atsushi hugging Oikawa's leg and hiding his face.

Hajime went directly to the hospital and after the videocall for Kiku and Atsushi, making sure she was okay and the baby was okay too, he went home, strangely quiet without his wife and child.

It was a strange rhythm that settled down between preparing the house for the baby's arrival and Kiku's return, making sure from afar that Atsushi was doing okay, and visiting Kiku, doing the daily video-call where Atsushi would talk about his day and what mayhem the twins had provoked again.

The days turned into weeks and finally, Kiku went into labour. Which would be the longest hours of both her and Hajime's lives.

Back at the summer mansion, Oikawa was starting to worry because he hadn't received a single message from Iwa-chan since the afternoon and the time of the video-call had gone already and he hadn't missed _one_ until now.

"Uncle Tooru…" Atsushi asked, pulling at his pants, "Why is daddy not calling? Is mommy okay?"

"Don't worry, Atchan, I'm sure your mommy is all right, and perhaps your daddy was just stuck in traffic and that's why he's not answering yet. You don't have to– ah! Here it is, I told you not to worry!" He exclaimed after receiving a message.

Atsushi seemed even more impatient but Oikawa read the message once. Twice, then a third time to be certain.

"The baby is coming?" He read on his phone.

Everyone turned to him and he suddenly screamed and stood up, eyes wide:

"THE BABY IS COMING! THE IWABABY IS COMING!"

There was a moment of stunned silence when no one, adults or children, reacted, then all the adults screamed at once, which made the children scream too:

"Finally!"

"We should go!"

"We can't leave the children!"

"They're having a baby!"

"I'm scared now!"

"Hurry up, go join Iwaizumi! We'll come later!" Bokuto exclaimed, grabbing Oikawa and pushing him forward.

"R-right! I'll go!"

He quickly went into his bedroom to take his car keys and be properly dressed then before leaving, he leaned towards Shiori, quickly kissing her lips before running off, jumping into his car and driving off.

"I'm worried for Kiku… I hope the birth will go well…" Ayaka murmured worriedly.

"We have to pray it will! For both Kiku and Sacchan!" Bokuto exclaimed.

"She's not even born yet, don't give her a nickname," Kuroo remarked.

Atsushi watched uncle Tooru go and all the adults talking in low voices, then he watched by the window, hoping he'll see his daddy and mommy coming back soon.

Shiori went into the bedroom she shared with Tooru to take her phone with her and follow what was happening. She stopped when she found Tooru's phone – he would panic when he wouldn't have it, Iwaizumi would probably panic too with no answer but it was too late to bring it to him now…

"Auntie Shiori…"

She turned towards Atsushi as he approached her shyly, his eyes a little teary but bravely holding back his tears.

"Will mommy and my sister be all right…?" He asked hesitantly.

"Oh, honey, I'm sure, they will," she answered.

She opened her arms and he immediately ran to her despite her round belly. She winced but ignored the feeling and a few minutes later, Atsushi was going to ask uncle Kou when he'll be able to visit his mommy and sister. Shiori wanted to initially follow him but after another wince from a pain in her tummy, she sat down on the side of her bed.

"…Hoshiko! Come here a minute!" She called her daughter, "Go get uncle Toshi, would you?" She asked with a tight smile.

A moment later, her cousin arrived in the room, sending her a confused expression.

"What is it?" He asked.

"The baby is coming," she said, a hand on her belly.

"I know, I hope everything will go well for Iwaizumi."

"N-no! I mean MY baby! I'm! I just lost my waters, _my_ baby is coming, Wakatoshi!" She exclaimed.

"Oh."

There was a moment of confusion, not quite knowing what he should do as he panicked a little, but not as much as when his wife had told him the same words two years ago or so. When he looked back at his cousin, she shrieked:

"HURRY UP!"

He startled and turned around, going back in the living-room. Calm as always, and before anyone could scream at him, he spoke up:

"Where is Oikawa?" He asked.

"Gone, already," Kuroo answered, pointing at the door, "Why? Did he forget something?"

"His wife."

They all gave him a confused expression before he added:

"Shiori's waters just broke."

There was a moment of silence until they all stood up and started screaming, Hoshiko most of all.

"Take her to the hospital! Hurry!"

"Which one is the closest?!"

"Shiori wanted to go to the same as Hoshiko's – Tokyo's hospital!"

"It's two HOURS from here!"

"We have to warn Oikawa!"

"Hey! But he's already going there! For Iwaizumi! If Shiori can hold on until then, it'll be easier!"

"Grouped package!"

"Tetsu, if you EVER say that again about someone's baby I'm going to divorce."

"Admit it, it's funny~"

"No, it's not."

"EXCUSE ME! I'M GIVING BIRTH OVER HERE!" Shiori shouted from the bedroom from where she could hear them.

"What do you want to do?" Her cousin asked, coming back to her, calm.

"If it's the same as Hoshiko, I won't be ready until a few more hours – take me to Tooru!"

"Bokuto, can I borrow your car?"

"Yes! Yes! Hurry up! Don't give birth in my car, though."

"Koutarou! She can't help it if it happens faster than she thinks!"

"Yeaaaah buuut…!"

"Instead of talking – could someone help me walk to the car?!"

Wakatoshi and Bokuto helped her – her cousin proposed to carry her but she could still walk, though with difficulty. Once they were gone, they tried contacting Oikawa – but he had forgotten his phone and was on his way to Iwaizumi. And Iwaizumi himself had other troubles than checking his phone. It was why when, a little more than two hours later, Oikawa arrived running to Iwaizumi, who sighed in relief to see him here to support him. As surprising as it was, Hajime was so panicked that he went directly into Oikawa's arms.

"How is it going?" He asked.

"Oikawa!"

Iwaizumi and Oikawa turned to Ushijima as he arrived to him – some meters behind him a nurse was pushing Shiori, in much more pain than before, in a wheelchair.

"What are you doing here?" Oikawa asked, too frantic to think clearly.

"Isn't it OBVIOUS, Tooru?!" Shiori screamed from where she was before biting down on her lip to not scream too loudly.

He blinked once, twice, then gasped.

"Y-you! YOU! NOW?!"

"Go with her, Oikawa, for your son's birth," Ushijima said, "I'll stay here and wait for everyone to arrive – and everyone's babies too."

"B-baby, coming… right! Baby! Coming!" Oikawa exclaimed, panicking a little.

"Tooru, calm down!" Shiori exclaimed as he turned around in confusion.

"What do I do?! What do I do?!"

" _TOORU!"_

Oikawa turned towards Iwaizumi, conflicted because his best friend needed him more than ever – his wife and child might not make it alive and he was already shaking and sobbing and– Hajime put his hand on Tooru's shoulder, a tight, but happy smile on his face:

"Go, Oikawa! Go with her!" He exclaimed, pushing him lightly towards his wife.

Tooru stared back at Hajime, he nodded then after a squeeze on each other's shoulders, Tooru ran to help the nurse and his wife.

Iwaizumi glanced at Ushijima who awkwardly patted his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay…" He said.

Hesitantly, Hajime nodded just as the doctor came out:

"Iwaizumi-san? Your wife is asking for you."

Hajime swallowed hard but after another pat from his teammate and friend, he followed the doctor. He put on the protective outfit then was with Kiku who was screaming in pain. He took her hand, whispering soothing words as she gave birth to their baby girl.

"It's going to be all right, I'm with you… we're going to be all right…" He kept whispering.

"H-Hajime…" She called, eyes teary from the pain.

"It's okay… I believe in you, you're the strongest woman I know…" He murmured, kissing her sweaty forehead just as another series of pain hit her.

It took a long time, long hours of physical pain for Kiku, and long hours of emotional pain to see her suffer for Hajime. Their hands never let go of each other.

After many hours of labour, their baby girl was finally born, but she wasn't crying. Worried, Hajime tried to have a look to know what was going on but the doctors took her away.

"Is it okay? Is she okay? What's going on?" He asked a nurse.

She didn't have time to answer to her that she leaned over Kiku, tapping lightly her cheek:

"Iwaizumi-san?"

"Her heartbeat is slowing down."

Hajime's heart missed a beat, scared for his wife and baby girl.

"Iwaizumi-san, please leave the room," another nurse said, pushing him aside.

"W-wait! I need to be here for her! For both of them! Wait! _Kiku!"_ He exclaimed.

He held onto Kiku's limp hand for as long as possible but he was pushed out of the room. He stumbled out, breathing with difficulty, panic making him dizzy.

"Iwaizumi!"

He looked up, seeing Bokuto run to him and hold him standing.

"Ushiwaka and Kuroo are here too, the others remained behind to stay with the kids! Atsushi and Hoshiko were brought but Kuroo is distracting them with candies. What's happening?!"

"I… I don't know… I don't know! She's… they're…!"

Tears filling his eyes, he covered his face with his hands, not knowing what to do, what to think, the only image in his mind being Kiku not waking up and his baby not surviving either. It couldn't happen… it couldn't…!

Sudden baby cries made him look up. Hajime stared at the door from which the baby cries came from, a little smothered but _alive_ and _well_ …

Quiet tears rolled down his cheeks, this sound being the happiest sound he's ever heard.

"Congratulations, _dad_ ," Bokuto said, patting his shoulder with a smile.

The doctor exited the room just now and Hajime jumped on him:

"How is she?! My wife, and my baby? What happened?!"

"They're fine, Iwaizumi-san. Both of them. It took a little time for your daughter to cry, but she's healthy and your wife lost consciousness temporarily, she's coming back to herself now."

The doctor patted his shoulder with a smile:

"You've created miracles. They're strong, both of them."

"C… can I see them…?" He asked in a broken voice.

The doctor smiled and Hajime stumbled after him, finding Kiku awake and as well as she could be at the moment, holding tightly the bundle of joy in her arms. He approached hesitantly, seeing the little hands of their new-born daughter waving around. Kiku looked up, her eyes the most beautiful shade of blue and love he had ever seen. It left him breathless.

"Hajime…" She called, voice hoarse from tears of joy and hours of screaming.

He approached hesitantly, looking down at their beautiful daughter. He approached a trembling hand and caressed her head with brown hair, as spiky as his.

"Gods, I hope her hair will grow out to be like yours…" He murmured, making Kiku chuckle.

"She's beautiful… our little miracle… our little Sachi…" She whispered.

Hajime detached his eyes from the joyful baby, turning towards Kiku who was in awe with their daughter. He fell in love all over again with her.

"Kiku… I love you… and I love our children…"

"I love you too…" She answered, looking up.

He kissed her forehead and a few minutes later, someone knocked at the hospital door. They turned around and saw Bokuto wave at them.

"Hey! Someone is getting impatient to meet his sister…" He said, Atsushi coming out from behind his legs.

Atsushi hesitated, seeing his mommy and daddy and his little sister from afar but not knowing if he could approach.

"Come here," Hajime said.

Grinning, he immediately ran into his father's arms who lifted him up, helping him sit on the side of the bed so he could lean and meet his sister.

"It's my sister?" He asked in awe.

"Yes, you'll be a wonderful big brother…" Kiku said.

"Hi, Sachi…" Atsushi said, waving at her, "She's the best little sister in the whole world, I know it…!"

Kiku and Hajime smiled happily.

 _A few hours later…_

The Oikawa and Iwaizumi had been put into the same big hospital room, both mothers resting, exhausted, while the fathers were proudly introducing their babies to their friends and families. Both babies were red and healthy. Tooru didn't stop crying, and when he stopped, it was Hajime's turn, which would make Tooru cry again. They looked just as tired as their wives and both stunned and red-eyed from all the emotions and events.

"You're saying they were born at the same time?" Akaashi asked as everyone was gathered in the now cramped hospital room.

"No, Sachi was born before," Hajime said, "At 3:52. Hikoboshi was born at… what?"

"3:53," Tooru answered proudly.

"…One minute, y'know… they're practically twins." Kuroo said.

" _Our_ twins had more time in between." Akane added, Ayaka nodding beside her.

"What matter is that you both have beautiful babies! And they're big and healthy! They'll become great volleyball players!" Bokuto exclaimed happily.

Tooru and Hajime glanced at each other, not quite believing they were holding their babies who were born in the same time, if not for one minute. Then, they shared the same smile – everything had turned all right, everyone was happy and the parents… They were the happiest beings in the whole universe.

After all, no matter how unfair life could get, love _could_ create miracles.

* * *

 _A little dramatic, but it's proved that depression and anxiety lower fertility even fi doctors don't know why yet. And I wanted to show as long as you believe in love, miracles DO come true~!_

 _Once again, thank you for reading this fanfic and supportingme. Hopefully, I will see you again in my Kuroo and Oikawa fanfics~_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


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